Original subtitles

Okay, everyone.

We're about to bring out our dog actor.

Her trainer, Tam Flank, wants to say a few words before we get started.

She worked on Dunston checks in.

The movie with the ring of tang and the boy and the hotel.

Yeah, yeah.

So, she's the real deal.

Okay, send out Tam.

Hello, non-animal crew.

So, who the heck am I?

Tam Flank had a ring of Tang Wrangler on Dunston checks in.

That's who.

When an animal is on set, the animal trainer isn't charged.

Princess and I need total silence for our complex communication connection.

So, as on me, dogs on set, Tam's in charge.

What's the shot, chief?

Okay, we need the dog to drop the bone in the cereal, bark, and then turn to camera.

I thought you said today would be tough action.

Yeah, from the top action.

Missing something from that cereal?

Milk.

The high calcium cereal sauce that gives you healthy bones.

Bones, don't tell Rover and cute dog.

Princess!

Princess!

To me!

To me!

Please!

Please!

Please!

Please!

Please!

Just put the bone in your mouth, please!

God!

What the heck we were doing it?

I just assumed something had gone wrong.

I was communicating with Princess.

I don't got to do your job for you.

Let's go again.

Action!

From the Q-line action.

Bones, don't tell Rover.

Princess!

The bone!

Don't know!

What are you doing to me?

This is a disaster!

If you don't do this, if you don't do this, I ruined... ruined!

It's an help!

Not what the heck?

Is everything okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

What's your problem?

Should we get a different dog?

Why?

You're going to tell me.

Head or Wrangler on Dunston checks in?

Now, we need another dog?

This dog is perfect.

We are 100% connected in a dog, human communication interface.

I am in command.

Action!

Action!

Bones, don't tell Rover.

Princess!

But please do what I asked.

You can have anything.

We can swap meals only!

Dogs for ages!

Just please put the bone in your mouth.

Please!

Please!

Please!

Please!

Please!

I am literally begging you.

Please!

Please!

Please!

Please!

Princess!

Oh!

I'm a fraud!

I could never talk to dogs!

My papa was right!

Oh!

Cut!

What the heck?

Why?

Why?

We're good!

Action!

Princess, please!

Put this bone in your mouth.

This job is our last chance.

Everyone still so mad at me for injuring all those orangutings and Dunston checks in.

Okay, fine.

Don't do it.

I don't care.

I don't care.

I was stronger for psychology.

Things didn't work.

Please!

Please!

Please!

Please!

Please!

Please!

Please!

Please!

Please!

What the heck we were nearly there?

We're gonna go into overtime.

We'll just CGI a dog and pose.

Alright, that's a wrap on princess.

No!

No!

Don't do that.

CGI is my nemesis.

I was supposed to be wrong on tongs, on dawn of the planet of the ape.

The one with the apes.

But then they invented CGI.

And that's it.

Give us one more take.

Please!

Please!

Please!

Okay, fine.

Detective works action!

Bones, don't tell Rover.

It's perfect, that's a wrap.

Sixteen hundred dollars for four new tires?

Yes, sir.

Honey, we need those tires to get up on my parents for Christmas.

We do have a promo that could take them down to zero dollars.

Yes, please!

Our promo is eat a tire when free tires for life.

I'm sorry.

Eat a tire?

Yes, sir.

Free tires for life, if you can polish off an entire tire.

This can't be a real promo.

People shouldn't be eating tires.

Oh, these men did.

And one of them's even a doctor.

Okay, honey, maybe this is worth a try.

Pam, seriously?

We need the tires.

All I have to do is eat a tire.

And an hour or under, yes.

There's a time limit, too.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, I'll do it.

Honey, no!

I cannot have my pregnant wife eating a tire.

I want our daughter to grow up in a world where women can eat tires just like men.

Give it a tire.

Boys, we've got another one.

Step right on over here, you'll be competing against Rick and John.

Oh, it's a competition.

Yeah, baby.

First person to finish their tire gets free tires for life.

You don't have to drink the motor oil, but you can't if you want to.

on your marks.

Oh, it's a good set.

Okay.

Here we go.

You eat a tire like a girl.

Thank you.

And that's the woman having my baby girl.

Go ahead, honey.

There's a nail in mind.

Are the tires used?

Oh, yeah, we're not gonna waste new tires on this.

They're expensive.

That lady eats tires like a goblin.

Hey.

She's eating for two.

You keep going, baby.

Hey, one minute left.

A minute.

Oh, we had an hour.

If the hour starts being you enter the shop.

Dang, it's gonna waste the 45 minutes looking at air freshers.

Look at this little lady go.

I've had weirder cravings than this.

Do you have any more of this in the back?

There's no eight.

There's no pressure to finish, honey.

You can stop whenever you want.

Hey, three, two.

one.

And that's time.

We've got to win our boys.

Congratulations.

You have one free tires for life.

And the installation will just be... $1 ,600.

I feel

this may be the end of my life.

The dragon is too powerful.

He's not.

nothing more we can do.

No, there is something.

The dragon will not stop until she gets what she wants.

So let's give it to her.

You don't, baby.

I'm a sacrifice myself for the good of the kingdom.

Okay?

Yeah.

I think that's a really good idea.

I think you should do it.

to be clear.

When I say sacrifice, I do mean toss myself to the dragon.

I know.

To be eaten.

Yep.

To death.

You're like not even crying.

What darling, I'm devastated.

I just, I really think it's gonna work.

This is not how this was supposed to go.

What?

I'm agreeing with you.

If you're not supposed to do it out loud, you're supposed to fight for me.

If Angeline, please, you are my everything.

I beg you.

Please do not do this.

I have to.

Okay.

Buddy.

What?

I'm not supposed to let me go.

Okay, but if you don't go, then the dragon won't leave us alone.

You don't have to go if you don't want to.

No, I have to.

You have to.

No.

Okay.

No.

No.

I'm not going to make you feed yourself to a dragon.

You mean it?

Of course.

That's why I'm so happy it was your idea.

Tristan, do you even love me?

Yes?

More than life itself.

Then come with me.

But what?

Tristan, I just faced this dragon together and lived forever in its eternal flame.

Oh.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Food.

I have something Tuesday.

I have something when this day.

I'm going to schedule something with those days.

Tristan, you could schedule being with me.

Very busy on Friday.

Saturday I spend with my mum.

Sunday.

The day I'm all old.

I'm booked.

I promise me you won't forget me.

Of course.

I promise.

Promise me you'll grieve me.

I promise me that you'll never love another and it will die a sad lonely man.

Maybe you don't do this.

Are you right?

But you have to... Do you want me to be eaten by a dragon?

Yes.

No.

But I just need you to be eaten by a dragon.

Everything.

Would be better for me.

I don't know.

It just seems like you don't really consider what I want to just be very selfish.

Fine.

You know what?

Forget it.

Stupid boy won't even fight for my love.

We did it!

Turns out she was open to negotiation.

Order!

Order!

We stand trial today on Cleater Dunn.

Accused of 17 counts of witchcraft.

How do you bleed?

Not guilty, Your Honor.

I saw her turn into a puff of smoke.

She cast a spell on my wife and children.

Yeah, and she opened my pickled jar when I couldn't get it open.

Yeah, get her, which hits.

As a guy, I'll stage your gaze.

Your Honor, this witch performed the most dubious act of witchcraft I ever saw.

Last Tuesday.

She opened a jar I had been struggling with for 40 minutes.

With one twist.

She used telepathy to open it.

Where's Your Honor?

Her hands.

I mean, how could she?

A woman.

Open a jar that I, the strongest man in the village could not.

Which?

I saw it!

If not witchcraft, then what?

My husband is weak.

Is that what it is?

Is that what's happened?

No!

No!

It's witchcraft!

It's dark, and it's twisted and mean!

Which?

Your Honor, this is ridiculous.

Last Tuesday, I was turning butter as a woman's duty.

When I began to hear a weak ranting... Oh, yeah!

Keep it away from my jar!

It was the saddest sound.

Like a toddler with a cold trying to crawl into bed on their own.

After 45 minutes, I used my strong butter churning wrists to open it.

Your Honor, man, I showed the jury.

Oh, witchcraft!

I'm buffed!

I am buffed!

Okay, next witness, please.

I saw her turn into a smoke, please.

Oh, ring!

I've got a better story.

Last Wednesday, I observed she sacrificed an animal in front of my very eyes.

And then she used mine powers to alter my moods.

All in front of my dear sweetheart.

Why, she's aware!

Your Honor, I saw Trevor Edg scream crying on

his porch last Wednesday because he saw a spider.

So I killed the spider and I patted his back to comfort him.

She used some sort of a wish potion to quiet me.

He said, I need a lollie, I'm so, and I quote, scared!

That was scary!

It was.

And his wife saw the whole thing.

She embarrassed me in front of my dear sweet mitzi.

Right, honey?

No!

No!

No!

No!

Yes, she's aware!

I have real evidence that Cleeda is a witch.

She travels by so long.

Marcus, lemon, you're on him.

Let me start by saying I'm sick of these weak men

using their inadequacies to unfairly accuse Cleeda.

The wrong... Well, thank you, Marcus.

Being strong and fearless doesn't make you a witch.

Being funnier than me in front of my family does wits!

Yes!

Marcus, I was just joking!

That's Sunday she joined my family for a picnic.

I noticed she had eaten a lot of hazelnuts.

So I said, hey, Cleeda, good news is hazelnuts do grow on trees.

And nobody left except my wife.

Ha, ha, ha!

That's my hubs.

He's a very funny man.

I mean it.

And then she looked at my plate and said, once I'm bred with that butter...

No!

No, I'm just my new one!

I have made a decision.

Insecurities does not make Cleeda a witch.

She's a bad mama, Gemma.

But she's not a witch.

Thank you, Judge.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some witchly duties to perform it.

I'm so cute!

I don't think you know a witch!

To love and to cherish till death was part.

Beautifully done.

Now the groom.

Matt, please repeat after me.

Matt, please repeat after me.

Hi, I'm being serious.

Funny guy wants to play, huh?

Okay, Matt.

Repeat after me.

Gentle sodas, I'd wonder enjoy that I'd take you to

be my blessed wife and share with you all this time.

Whoa, whoa, slow down, but what is this?

Oh, these are the vowels!

Can hang?

Han, he did John Prasinski's wedding.

He's a legend.

Yeah.

You good?

Cause Kras didn't break a sweat.

Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

Okay, then.

I'll start over.

Gentle sodas would wonder enjoy that I'd take you to be my blessed wife and share

with you all that is to be dreamt and dreamt and dreamt and eternity in his

fumble of love and night for thou's my queen.

Hey, if you can hang with the big dog, that's all good.

Gentle sodas with wonder enjoy that I'd take you to be my blessed wife and to

share with you all this to be dreamt and dreamt and

eternity in a slumber of love and life for thou's my queen.

I love it.

Love is a flame eternal or is a sweet say karlik or nidiglaga.

Love is a flame eternal or is the sweet say karlik or nidiglaga.

Pi is 3.14159265358979324664338.

And we're still doing vowels?

Pi is 3.14159265358979323846264338.

Do you think you're some sort of christian skier or something?

Better.

I'm a niece.

Oh, giguchi, I'm a little dude to have babies to be facing the guy.

And John did all this?

Oh, yeah, big time and more.

Oh, giguchi, I'm a little dude to have babies to be facing the guy.

Ugh, wow who talked to you, Jack in my style?

Johnnyalian guy did better.

Better bought some butter.

She dead his butter's bitterness.

If I cut it in my batter, it'll make my batter bitter.

Pi...

We're done here.

From the top.

Gentle soldiers with wonder and joy, then I take you to be my blessed wife and

to share with you others to be dreamed of dream to dream to dream to an eternity in

a slumber of love and life for thou's my queen.

Love is a flame eternal or as the Swedes say, Carlik are in a big laga.

Buy us 3.14159, 2.6539, 793, 2, 3, 3, 3, 8, 4, 6, 2, 6, 4, 3, 3,

8.

All so husband and wife.

This is exactly how I imagine my big jaybrig boy.