Original subtitles

("Overture" by Irving Berlin)

(applauding)

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

(applauding)

- [Announcer] The Cat's Meow in downtown Flatbush

is thrilled to present The Wedding Bell Revue.

(tap dancing)

("Steppin' Out With My Baby/I'll Capture Her Heart"

by Irving Berlin)

♫ Steppin' out with my baby

♫ Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right

♫ It's for sure, not for maybe

♫ That I'm all dressed up tonight

♫ Steppin' out with my honey

♫ Can't be bad to feel so good

♫ Never felt quite so sunny

♫ So I keep on knockin' wood

♫ I do

(tap dancing)

- [Women] And now please welcome Hanover, Hardy, and Dixon!

(applauding)

♫ Steppin' out with my baby

♫ Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right

♫ Ask me when will the day be

♫ The big day may be tonight

(applauding)

♫ Here she comes down the street

♫ My oh my ain't she sweet

♫ Why here comes my hot toddy

♫ Ah ah

♫ Over my dead body

♫ I'll capture her heart singing

♫ Just wait until she gets a load of my dancing

♫ Just wait til I start singing

♫ I'll take her strolling down the road with my dancing

♫ I can't go wrong

♫ A tender song and she'll discover my charms

♫ Some fancy taps and she'll collapse

♫ And fall right into my arms

♫ I'll take you through life singing

♫ Oh no you haven't a chance when I

(tap dancing)

- Ah!

♫ Go into my dance

♫ If you could dance instead of sing

♫ I'd learn to love you somehow

♫ If you could sing instead of dance

♫ I'd take you home with me now

(scat singing)

(tap dancing)

Woo!

(scat singing)

(tap dancing)

Excuse me fellas.

Fellas, I'm right here!

(scat singing) (tap dancing)

♫ And then we'll start a romance

♫ Oh no you haven't a chance

♫ When I go into my dance

♫ Song

♫ Ask me when will the day be

♫ The big day may be tonight

(applauding and cheering)

(chattering)

- Hey number three pet, number three.

- Happy closing honey.

- Oh.

I can't believe we're closing.

It feels like we just opened!

- Because we did.

It was a one night gig.

(scoffs) (audience laughing)

- I wish we could find something more permanent, you know?

I don't think I'll make it through another dry spell

like the one in March.

- Lila.

- And April. - Lila.

- And 1945. (audience laughing)

- Lila, you won't have to.

- Oh!

- It's been two years of laughter and song and love.

Will you marry me?

- Oh Jim! (giggling)

Oh this is so exciting!

I always pictured a church wedding.

But if we could get Carnegie Hall the Times would cover it.

- Well I-- (audience laughing)

- It won't be cheap so you'll have to write a new show.

New songs, a new booking with full houses every night.

- I was actually thinking we could fill a house of our own.

A real house with a real family.

- Whose family?

(audience laughing)

- Lila, I finally did it.

I bought a farm with a farmhouse in Connecticut!

- Connecticut?

But we can't leave New York.

We can't just up and leave.

- But Lila, we promised each other

when the gigs dried up we'd get out of show business

and live a normal life.

- I always wanted to be normal after I'm famous.

(audience laughing)

- Lila, we don't need all that.

- Says who?

("The Little Things in Life" by Irving Berlin)

♫ Just a little room or two

♫ Can more than do a little man and wife

♫ That's if they're contented with the little things in life

♫ Living on a larger scale would soon entail

♫ A lot of care and strife

♫ We could be so happy with the little things in life

- We played enough gigs in second rate clubs

with overheated dressing rooms and bad plumbing.

- Yeah.

- Never knowing what comes next

or if anything comes next.

- Yeah.

- I want a real life, a simple life, a life with you.

(giggles)

♫ A little rain, a little sun, a little work, a little fun

♫ A little time for loving when the day is done

I wanna wake up in the morning and do an honest day's work.

I wanna grow things.

- Since when do we wake up in the morning?

(audience laughing)

♫ And a little thing that cries for lullabies

♫ Could make a man and wife

♫ Tell the world how much they love

♫ The little things in life

(applauding)

- Oh there they are!

- Jimmy, listen to this. - Great news, boys!

- How did you know?

- How did you know? - How did they know?

- How did I know what?

- Danny just booked us for a six week tour

that ends at the Pump Room.

- The Pump Room?

In Chicago?

- No, the Pump Room in my Aunt Lipke's basement.

Yes, the Pump Room in Chicago!

- We'll be halfway to Hollywood!

- This is so thrilling!

We'll need new routines.

- And a spotlight devoted to me.

- And 10% devoted to me.

- And new falsies devoted to me!

(audience laughing)

- Sweetheart you might not have time for all that,

you're filling in for Red Skelton who's laid up

with kidney stones.

- That's horrible.

I'll have to write him a thank you note.

(audience laughing)

- On the train?

We're leaving tonight!

- I'll telephone Mother and tell her the big news!

- Uh, which big news?

- Which big news?

Jim have you not been listening?

- Yeah, that's all I've been doing.

But I have bigger news.

Lila and I are getting married!

- Married?

Why would you get married?

You seem so happy. (audience laughing)

- Jimmy, that's great!

You finally asked her!

- And I want you to be my best man.

- Of course.

Hey, we'll do the bachelor party on the road.

- Oh, we're not going on the road, buddy.

Lila and I are finally getting out of show business.

- What?

- We are the proud new owners of the Mason farm

in Midville, Connecticut.

- Conne, oh Connecticut yeah.

You know what happens in Connecticut?

- What?

- Nothing! (audience laughing)

You'll end up wearing plaid and repressing your feelings!

(audience laughing)

- Jimmy, how long have we been waiting for this?

This could be our shot at the big time!

- Are you really gonna walk out on your best friend here?

- No, I'm not walking out on anybody.

I'm walking in to my new life with Lila.

- Yes, but we're a trio, we work together!

That's why we work!

- Yeah you can't just take a wheel off a tricycle,

you'll end up with a...nevermind.

(audience laughing)

- Listen, Ted.

You'll always be my best friend,

but this is where the road divides for us.

We can't come with you, I'm sorry.

- Mother's thrilled, and so am I.

- [Both] Great, so you're ready to go?

- Jim, darling.

Opportunities like this only come along once in a lifetime.

- As opposed to marriage proposals?

- Exactly. (audience laughing)

Come on, it's only six weeks.

- But we have to be in Midville tomorrow.

The bank needs us to sign the papers and take ownership

or it goes back to auction.

I don't wanna lose this place.

- Okay, so what if you go claim the farm

and let Ted take Lila to Chicago?

- No, then it'll just be the two of us.

That's perfect, all the focus will be on me.

- Hey! - On us.

- It makes sense, Jim.

I'll do this one last gig and then join you

at the end of the summer with a few extra paychecks

to feather the nest.

- Six weeks. - Beautiful!

Well that's settled.

Well come on, let's go!

I still gotta buy your train tickets.

- Jimmy, I'll see you soon.

I'll miss you, buddy. - You too pal.

- Bye dollface! - Bye dollface!

- Bye dollface. (audience laughing)

- Safe travels!

♫ We could be so happy

- Hey Jim!

You and Lila coming to McHale's?

- Oh I'll be there, but Lila's going on the road with Ted.

- I don't get it.

- I do.

Danny booked 'em a six week tour

and it was too good to turn down.

- Oh but not too good for you to turn down?

- Guys, you're not gonna wanna hear this,

but I'm through with performing.

(gasping)

♫ I really think that Broadway is just a false alarm

(clamoring) I know!

♫ It's just a great big fraud way compared to a farm

♫ A lot of folks may like it

♫ But I could not agree

♫ It may be good enough for them

♫ But not for me

- What could be better than Broadway?

(audience laughing)

("Blue Skies" by Irving Berlin)

♫ Blue skies smiling at me

♫ Nothing but blue skies do I see

- How would you all like to make a contribution

to the fresh air fund?

All you have to do is help me move to Midville, Connecticut.

(clamoring)

♫ Blue days, all of them gone

♫ Nothin' but blue skies

♫ Nothin' but blue skies

♫ Nothin' but blue skies

♫ From now on

(clamoring)

♫ Never saw the sun shining so bright

♫ Never saw things going so right

♫ Noticing the days hurrying by

♫ When you're in love, my how they fly

This way, ladies!

Anywhere you like.

Whoa, careful now.

- Oh, that was smart. - Yeah I'll say.

Hey kiddos.

Oh boy.

Hey, not so bad there Track.

I really appreciate the help.

(knocking)

- Oh look what I found!

- Oh I'm gonna need those! - Thank you!

(clamoring)

- Anything marked show business

goes in storage in the barn!

♫ I should care if the wind blows east or west

- Jim. - Oh that goes in the bedroom.

♫ I should fret if the worst looks like the best

- [Man] Well which one?

You've got 15! - Oh pick one!

♫ I should mind if they say it can't be true

Whoa, outside! (audience laughing)

♫ I should smile (laughs)

♫ That's exactly what I'll do

Operator, get me the Franklin Hotel in Omaha,

Miss Lila Dixon.

Oh she's not?

Well then take down this message.

It should read as follows!

♫ Blue skies smiling at me

♫ Nothin' but blue skies do I see

♫ Nothin' but blue skies do I see

♫ Blue days all of them gone

♫ Nothin' but blue skies

♫ Nothin' but blue skies

♫ Nothin' but blue skies

♫ From now on

(applauding and cheering)

Thank you guys!

I'll see you soon!

Expect fresh produce at your door!

♫ Nothin' but blue skies from now on

(doorbell ringing) (applauding)

What's the matter, you miss me already?

- Special delivery for Mr. Hardy.

- And who are you?

- Charlie Winslow, Midville Bank and Trust.

(laughs) - Really?

Are you in finance or lending?

- Collections.

Your back taxes.

- Nobody said anything about--

- Water bill, electric bill, gas bill,

and your first mortgage payment.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

(audience laughing)

- You got any good news, Mr. Winslow?

- I work for a bank.

What do you think?

- What do I think? (door slams)

(audience laughing)

(creaking and crashing)

(applauding)

Apparently I work for a bank now too.

(doorbell ringing)

Who now, the IRS?

Whoops, oh, hi.

- Oh, hi.

Mr. Hardy.

- Do we know each other? - No.

Somewhat, I know who you are.

- You've seen my act?

- No. (audience laughing)

I've seen the foreclosure papers.

I'm Linda Mason.

- As in Mason Farm?

- Yes, I was wondering if I could pick up

a few things that I left behind.

- Of course, please, come in.

- Thank you.

The bank padlocked the house

before I finished moving out so.

Oh, wow.

I love what you've done with the place.

(audience laughing)

- Yeah, I have my work cut out for me.

- Oh, well this looks just like our old piano.

- Oh, do you play?

- No, not for years.

Would you mind giving me a hand with this painting here?

- Sure. - Thank you.

- You know I figured Eleanor Roosevelt came with the house.

- That's my grandmother.

- She was so beautiful. - Yes.

(audience laughing)

She and my grandfather built this place

right after they were married.

- I can tell they put a lot of love into it.

- Yes, they did.

- Oh I'm so sorry.

This must be very emotional for you.

- Oh, it's silly to get emotional

over a piece of real estate, Mr. Hardy.

- Oh, I dunno.

I got pretty emotional moving in just now.

- Yes, I heard you singing about it.

(audience laughing)

- Yeah, I tend to do that.

- This was my home, but I'll make a new one.

Like my father always said, time marches on.

- Hey I like that.

("Marching Along With Time" by Irving Berlin)

♫ This world of ours is ever changing

♫ The hands of time keep rearranging

♫ With ev'ry change I'm right on the beat

♫ Won't let the grass grow under my feet

♫ I'm marching along with time

♫ I'll be marching from time to time

♫ For I'm not gonna let the parade go by

♫ You know that time marches on and so do I

Hey, did you want this stuff? - Oh, thank you.

♫ One day I changed my horse

♫ For a motor and now, of course

♫ I'll be changing my car for a plane to fly

♫ You know that time marches on and so do I

♫ There'll be a change in music

♫ A change in rhythm

♫ A change in dancing

♫ But I'll be right with 'em

♫ Watch me and you will find

♫ That I just won't be left behind

♫ Father Time marches on with his head up high

♫ And so do I

♫ There'll be a change in music

♫ There'll be a change in music

♫ A change in rhythm

♫ A change in rhythm

♫ A change in dancing

♫ A change in dancing

♫ But I'll be right with 'em

♫ You'll be right with 'em

♫ Marching along with time

♫ I'll be marching from time to time

♫ For I'm not gonna let the parade go by

♫ You know that time marches on

♫ And so do I

(applauding)

- Wow, forward thinking, independent.

Sound like a real New Yorker.

- Oh, well I was a New Yorker briefly.

- Really?

What happened?

- I tried to make it there as a performer

when I was younger, but, well you know

how that story goes, huh?

- Not until you tell it to me.

- Oh, it's nothing.

Um...

My father woke up one day and my mother had left.

She ran off with a Fuller brush salesman.

- Oh. - Yeah.

- I see.

- So I left New York, came back to take care of him

and I've been here ever since.

After he passed, I just couldn't keep up.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey did you ever think of giving performing another shot?

(laughs)

- That was a different time, Mr. Hardy.

I teach school now.

It's a simple life, but I'm happy.

- Funny, that's just what I'm after.

- Well, I should get going.

Back to my efficiency apartment.

- Let me give you a hand with those things.

- Uh, nope, I am alright.

You have your hands full with the house already.

You know, if you ever need any help around here

I know the perfect person!

- Oh, that'd be great, send them right over.

(doorbell ringing) (audience laughing)

Wow, that was fast.

- Louise Badger, fix it man.

- Jim Hardy, how did you--

- I was standing outside waiting for my cue.

(audience laughing)

It's good to be home. - Home?

- Well I lived on this property 20 plus years.

- Louise was our caretaker and part of the family.

- Hey.

Gone one month, the place falls apart.

You're gonna need me 'round the clock.

I'll go unpack.

- Whoa, I can't afford you full time until we have

a crop we can sell.

- Not a problem.

Happy to take my salary in room and board.

But no funny business, eh?

(audience laughing)

- Well I'll let you two get to work, huh?

- Hey.

If it's all the same to you, I'd like to keep the name.

Mason Farm.

Has a certain ring to it.

- Well that is very kind of you Mr. Hardy, thank you.

- Oh, please, call me Jim.

- Goodbye Louise.

- Oh, I'll swing by and check on you later.

- Oh don't worry about me, just take care of the house

and, uh, Jim.

Bye bye. - So long.

- Pretty cute, huh?

- Yeah, I mean, no.

I mean, she is.

I mean, I have a fiancee! (audience laughing)

- A fiancee?

Where the heck is she?

- [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen.

The Turf Lounge of Omaha is proud to present

the red-hot duo Lila Dixon and Ted Hanover.

("Heat Wave" by Irving Berlin)

♫ A heat wave blew right into town last week

♫ She came from the island of Martinique

♫ The can-can she dances will make you fry

♫ The can-can is really the reason why

♫ We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave

♫ The temp'rature's rising, it isn't surprising

♫ She certainly can can-can

- So, according to my plan we should have

a fresh crop by October.

- Oh, that's ambitious.

What are you planning to grow?

- Figured I'd start with my favorite, bananas.

(audience laughing)

- We're gonna need a new plan.

♫ She started the heat wave

♫ By letting her seat wave

♫ And in such a way that the customers say that

♫ She certainly can can-can

♫ She certainly can can-can

- I never realized how much time it takes

to grow a simple parsnip.

- Told you it wouldn't be easy.

This soil can be very unfriendly.

- You know, farming is harder than it looks.

- I'll say.

Mr. Mason tried for 55 years.

- 55 years?

Then what?

- He died. (audience laughing)

♫ Gee

- [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen.

♫ Her anatomy

The Starlight Room in St. Louis.

♫ Made the mercury

Brings you Ted Hanover.

♫ Jump to ninety-three

And the red-hot Lila Dixon.

- Woo!

♫ We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave

♫ The way that she moves that thermometer proves that

♫ She certainly can can-can

- [Announcer] Welcome to The Pump Room.

Bringing you the red-hot act that's taking

the windy city by storm.

♫ So hot

♫ A record's been made

♫ We'll fry in the shade

Live from the lake shore, it's Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon!

♫ Yes we're having a heat wave

♫ A tropical heatwave

♫ The way that she moves that thermometer proves that

♫ She certainly can can-can

♫ We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave

♫ In such a way that the customers say that

♫ The temp'rature's rising, it isn't surprising

♫ She certainly, certainly, certainly, certainly, certainly

♫ Can can-can

(applauding and cheering)

(audience laughing)

(gentle music)

- Any signs of life?

- No, not over here.

- I'm beginning to realize

why this place was such a bargain.

- A bargain?

Rumor 'round town is you paid twice what it was worth.

- What?

- Typical New Yorker. (audience laughing)

- Hang on a second, this is a perfectly respectable

summer squash.

- Except it's a tomato.

(audience laughing)

Look you can call it whatever you wanna call it

as long as it impresses that fiancee of yours.

- Special delivery for Mr. Hardy.

- No, Mr. Hardy's not here, you'll have to come back later.

- He's right behind you.

- That's just my winter weight.

(audience laughing)

- Oh.

So you'll have to be the one to give Mr. Hardy

this past due notice on the mortgage.

We do offer a 30 day grace period before penalties

begin to accrue.

- How kind.

- Unfortunately, it's been 40 days.

But we don't like to see folks hurtin'

so I'll keep coming back to check in.

You take good care now!

- That kid is definitely gonna be in government one day.

(audience laughing)

- Jim?

Jim! - Lila?

- Oh, eew, eew!

Surprise.

- You're two days early!

- Oh! (smooching)

And overdressed.

- You look like a movie star.

- You look like a farmer.

(chuckling)

- Well, that's 'cause I am.

At least I'm trying to be.

With some help from my friend Louise here.

- At your service!

- Oh, you two are adorable!

Like that painting with the unhappy old people.

(audience laughing)

- I'll go get your bags.

- Oh no, you really don't have to.

- Oh no, I have to do everything.

- Oh, it's so good to see you.

Did you read the Farmer's Almanac I sent you?

- Every word.

On the first page.

(laughing)

- Well that's alright, you been busy.

But I'm gonna teach you everything you need to know.

Starting right now.

- Now?

But it's about to rain.

("It's A Lovely Day Today" by Irving Berlin)

- Well that's just a few passing clouds.

- Tell that to my hair.

- You have to look for the blue sky in between those clouds.

♫ It's a lovely day today

♫ So whatever you've got to do

♫ You've got a lovely day to do it in

♫ That's true

♫ And I hope whatever you've got to do

♫ Is something that can be done by two

♫ Though I'd really like to stay

- Jim I need to tell ya, I came here--

♫ It's a lovely day today

That's interesting.

♫ So whatever we've got to do

♫ I'd be so happy to be doing it with you

Me?

♫ But if I've got something that must be done

♫ And it can only be done by one

♫ There is nothing more to say

♫ Except it's a lovely day for saying

Whoa!

♫ It's a lovely day

- Your chariot awaits!

- Well I prefer a Buick but okay.

♫ It's a lovely day today

♫ If there's something that must be done

♫ Don't forget two heads are better than just one

♫ But perhaps whatever I've got to do

♫ Is something that should be done by you

♫ Done by two

♫ If it is then you could say

Jim, I'm sorry!

I can't do this!

I been trying to tell you since I got here but...

You seem so happy.

- Well that's 'cause I am.

You should try it, it's a pleasant sensation.

- So is performing.

And I can't just walk away like you did.

I know myself.

I can live with a lot of things

but I can't live out here with all these vegetables.

(audience laughing)

Anyhow, Ted and I just got booked into a swanky

new room in Las Vegas.

Can you believe it?

Las Vegas!

It's a dream come true.

- But this was our dream. - Your dream, Jim.

Not mine.

- You came all the way out here to tell me this?

- I wanted to tell you in person.

- That was nice of you. - I know.

(audience laughing)

I'm sorry, Jim.

- Can I at least drive you to the train?

- The cab's waiting for me around the corner.

Good luck, Jim.

I mean that!

- She didn't have any bags.

- I know.

♫ It's a lovely day today

♫ And whatever you've got to do

♫ I'd be so happy to be doing it with you

(thunder rumbling) (rain falling)

♫ It's a lovely day

("Plenty To Be Thankful For" by Irving Berlin)

♫ Gobble gobble

♫ Gobble gobble

♫ Plenty to be thankful

♫ That's right there's plenty to be thankful

♫ Tonight there's plenty to be thankful

♫ Plenty to be thankful for

- Live from Las Vegas, it's the KENO Thanksgiving

musical cavalcade with Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon.

Brought to you by Optrex Eye Lotion and Benzel Sinus Spray.

Relief you'll be thankful for.

♫ I've got plenty to be thankful for

♫ I haven't got a great big yacht

♫ To sail from shore to shore

♫ Still I've got plenty to be thankful for

♫ I've got plenty to be thankful for

♫ Yes sir

♫ He's got a lot

♫ No private car, no caviar

♫ No carpet on my floor

♫ Oh no but he has got plenty to be thankful for

♫ Like you girls, have I mentioned I'm grateful for ya

♫ Gee Teddy thanks

♫ I've got eyes to see with

- Thanks to Optrex, the eye lotion made with science!

♫ Ears to hear with

- Thanks to Benzel, the nasal spray made with amphetamines!

- [All] Wow!

♫ Arms to hug with

♫ Lips to kiss with

♫ Someone to adore

♫ How could anybody ask for more

♫ How could he

♫ Why would he

♫ My needs are small, I buy them all

♫ At the five and 10 cent store

♫ I've got

♫ He's got

♫ We've got plenty to be thankful for

♫ Plenty to be thankful for

(applauding)

- Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon!

Ladies and gentlemen, stick around if you know

what's good for you.

We'll be speaking with them later on in the program.

- No, Louise, don't worry about me.

I have lots of guests over.

The neighbors.

You don't know them.

(audience laughing)

Listen, Louise, I need to grab the turkey before it dries.

Okay.

Gobble gobble to you too.

(audience laughing) Alright, bye bye.

(sighs)

(doorbell buzzes) Hello?

- [Charlie] Hi Miss Mason, it's Charlie Winslow.

- Oh, Charlie, um, come on in.

Charlie, to what do I owe the pleasure?

- Happy Thanksgiving.

- Oh.

Apple pie?

How sweet of you to think of me.

Come, sit down.

- I'm just the messenger, it's from my parents.

They feel sorry for you.

(audience laughing)

- Sorry for me?

- Oh, you know.

Because you're all alone on Thanksgiving,

no family, no children, no prospects.

(audience laughing)

- Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson, we just read it.

Do you remember how he starts?

- Man is his own star.

- Exactly.

I like being independent and level-headed.

- My mom calls that a spinster!

(audience laughing)

- Charlie, I'm perfectly fine.

I have plenty to be thankful for.

("Plenty To Be Thankful For (reprise)" by Irving Berlin)

♫ My tiny flat was furnished at

♫ The five and 10 cent store

♫ Still I've got plenty to be thankful for

- Like what?

♫ I've got eyes to see with

Oh like the song on the radio!

♫ Ears to hear with

- Oh you were listening.

♫ Arms to hug with

♫ Lips to kiss with

- I guess it is okay to be all alone then.

You get to eat the whole pie by yourself.

- Yep. (audience laughing)

- No one to share it with.

- Yep.

- No one to tell you when you've had enough!

- Yep.

- Or save you when you're choking.

- Okay. (audience laughing)

Lesson's over.

- Swell.

Enjoy the pie, Miss Mason.

- Goodbye, Charlie. (laughs)

(audience laughing)

("Marching Along With Time (reprise)" by Irving Berlin)

♫ There'll be a change in music

♫ A change in rhythm

♫ A change in dancing

♫ But I'll be right with 'em

♫ Da da da da da da

♫ Da da da da da da da da da

♫ At the KENO radio cavalcade

♫ There's plenty to be thankful for

- Before we conclude our program for this evening

let's take a moment and meet our stars,

Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon.

Ted, are you looking to be a Romeo on the Vegas Strip

or is there a special girl in your life?

- Every girl in my life is special.

- But he only has one dance partner.

- Lila, is there a lucky fella out there waiting for you

this holiday season?

- No sir.

I'm fancy free and free for anything fancy!

- So get up close and personal at The Flamingo,

we're almost sold out!

- Thank you Ted and Lila!

You heard it here first folks,

Lila Dixon is single and looking!

Bachelors beware, she's a heartbreaker!

Next up on the KENO Radio Cavalcade,

Susan the Yiddish speaking spaniel.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, Susan--

- Why are you torturing yourself?

- 'Cause I believed her.

- Yeah, well she's an actress, it's her job to fake it.

(audience laughing)

- Can't believe I let her string me along.

Look at me now.

Failing at farming in this big old house all by myself!

- Well that's not technically true.

(audience laughing)

But I'm willing to overlook it given your current

state of mind.

Come on, let me fix you a plate.

- You know who I really miss? - Who?

- Ted.

Well, the old Ted.

- The Ted who took your fiancee on the road?

- No, the Ted who used to be my best friend.

(glum music)

We met at a casting call when we were both first

starting out.

I was so nervous I could barely speak, let alone sing.

My audition, whoa, tanked.

(laughs)

Afterwards I was drowning my sorrows at McHale's

and there was Ted, yucking it up with a circle

of other kids from the call.

I finally picked up the courage to go congratulate him.

"On what?" He said.

"I didn't get the gig either, none of us did.

"Doesn't mean we won't get the next one."

I couldn't believe it.

Why were they celebrating?

So I asked him.

You know what he said?

"Every now and then it's a good idea to pause

"in our pursuit of happiness to just be happy."

(audience laughing)

I ended up having more fun that night than the entire year.

Ted, he just has a way of making anyone

feel good about anything.

Wonder what happened to that guy.

- If it makes you feel any better, you can call me Ted.

(audience laughing)

(doorbell ringing)

Oh, wonder who that could be?

What poor lost soul is knocking on our door

on Thanksgiving day?

(gasps) Linda!

What a surprise!

What are you doing here? (audience laughing)

- You told me I could come over.

- Oh how wonderful (audience laughing)

that you decided to pop in for a spontaneous,

unplanned visit.

- Hi Jim. - Hi Linda.

- Happy Thanksgiving.

I wanted to bring you this apple pie.

- Wow, you baked me a pie?

- Yes. (audience laughing)

No.

One of my students brought it to me.

I'm assuming it's not poisoned.

(laughs awkwardly)

(audience laughing)

- Oh, all the same that's very kind of you, thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving.

- Oh, happy Thanksgiving.

You know I should mention why I really came.

I am missing my serving spoon.

Could I check the barn?

(audience laughing)

- Of course.

You know the way.

- Yep.

So I'll just grab that and get going.

- No!

I mean...

I'll go get it for ya.

- Oh no Louise, you don't have to--

- Oh no I was just headed out that way anyway to feed the...

Pig. - We have a pig?

- Yes! (audience laughing)

Boris.

He's a rescue. (audience laughing)

- Well you look lovely.

Are you headed somewhere special tonight?

- Just singing with the local choir.

- Oh.

Oh.

I'm glad to hear that.

- Well I guess you reminded me how much I enjoy it.

- Oh no, no, I can't take any credit.

- Oh, you can take a little.

- Well I don't mind if I do.

(audience laughing)

- Well I think you should. (chuckles)

- Well okay.

- Okay. (audience laughing)

Ooh, I see Louise made her famous cranberry sauce,

I miss that.

- Listen. - Huh?

- I'd really like to invite you to stay for dinner.

It's just, it's not the best timing.

- Oh no, of course.

- Lila...Lila called off our engagement.

- I heard on the radio. - Yep.

(audience laughing)

It's probably for the best.

- I'm so sorry.

- Thank you, but I just think that I'd be

terrible company tonight.

- Right, me too!

- You would? - No, I wouldn't.

(audience laughing)

I don't know why I said that.

I just mean that-- - I just mean that--

- You know, I should get going.

- What about the serving spoon?

("Nothing More To Say" by Irving Berlin)

♫ Funny when you're left with nothing more to say

♫ Suddenly you find you should be on your way

♫ Funny how you long for some excuse

♫ To remain awhile but it's no use

♫ The conversation ends and you've nothing more to say

♫ Funny when you're left without a thought on your mind

♫ Funny when you search for words you never can find

♫ Gone are the pretty speeches

♫ That you planned for your lucky day

♫ Funny when you're left with nothing more to say

♫ When your moment comes to an end

♫ What good is pretending

♫ Gone are the pretty speeches

♫ That you planned for your lucky day

♫ Funny when the words no longer come your way

♫ Funny when you're left with nothing more to say

(applauding)

Louise.

I still don't understand why we need this Christmas tree.

- Oh stop arguing, I need to focus!

- What's the point?

It's just the two of us.

It's not like we have an actual family here.

- Families come in all shapes and sizes.

- Do we really need that star?

- Of course we do, my father was Jewish.

(audience laughing)

- Well, this tree's gonna look pretty sad

with only two presents under it.

- Okay, come on, give me a boost.

- If I don't find some miracle plan in the next two weeks,

this place goes back into foreclosure.

- Oh, close enough! (audience laughing)

- Too bad there's nobody here to enjoy it.

♫ Happy holiday

What was that? - What was what?

♫ Happy holiday

- That.

♫ While the merry bells keep ringing

♫ May your every wish come true

(laughing and cheering)

(chattering)

What are you guys doing here?

- Well we're here for you.

- I figured you were in need of a little musical medication.

- So we're here to fill the prescription!

- Oh.

("Shaking the Blues Away" by Irving Berlin)

♫ There's an old superstition 'way down south

♫ Ev'rybody believes that trouble won't stay

♫ If you shake it away

♫ When they hold a revival way down south

♫ Ev'rybody with care and trouble that day

♫ Tries to shake it away

♫ Shaking the blues away

♫ Unhappy news away

♫ If you are blue, it's easy to

♫ Shake off your cares and troubles

♫ Telling the blues to go

♫ They may refuse to go

♫ But as a rule, they'll go if you'll

♫ Shake them away

♫ Do like the voodoos do,

♫ List'ning to a voodoo melody

♫ They shake their bodies so, to and fro

♫ With every shake

♫ A lucky break

♫ Proving that there's a way

♫ Come on

♫ To chase your cares away

♫ If you would lose your weary blues

♫ Shake them away

♫ Shake them away

Oh I can feel it working!

- Come on!

- Hi, good to see you Daphne!

- Oh thank you, you too!

- Hey kids, anywhere you like, by the fireplace is good.

Oh you can put those in the sink.

- Hey Patrick, bring it in.

- Danny! - Danny, come on, here we go!

(cheering)

- Tap shoes, woohoo!

- Hey, you still got tap shoes?

You ever use those?

Get her out, get her outta here!

(tap dancing)

She's shakin'!

She's shakin' too!

- Oh what's this?

- Hey Jim, I got a surprise for you.

- [Jim] Oh the old country tap shoes huh?

- I got this, ready?

Ha a cha cha!

Okay, I'm dancing, I'm dancing, oh look at it hey!

Oh hey, I don't trust you.

- Hey guys, looks pretty good.

Looks like you still got it.

Uh oh!

Whoa!

- Oh my god, he took a bite!

That's how you know it's good!

- Where do you wanna put that?

Put it over here.

Yeah, we'll drape it.

No we can put it here or we can put it in the hall.

(mumbling)

I think you dropped something.

(tap dancing)

(cheering and applauding)

(cheering and applauding)

I got you something!

Merry Christmas!

♫ Do like the voodoos do

♫ Listening to a voodoo melody

♫ They shake their bodies so, to and fro

♫ With every shake

♫ A lucky break

♫ Proving that there's a way to chase your cares away

♫ If you would lose your weary blues

♫ Shake 'em away

♫ Shake 'em away

(cheering and applauding)

You know what Louise? - Huh?

- You're right.

Life is way too short to sit around moping.

I never wanna spend another holiday by myself.

- Yeah me neither huh.

(audience laughing)

- Linda? - Yeah.

- Merry Christmas!

These are my friends!

Friends, Linda, Linda, friends!

- [All] Hi Linda!

- Linda grew up in this house and I guess

she still has a key.

(audience laughing)

- No, it was open.

I'm here for the party.

- How did you know we were having a party?

- Well I certainly didn't invite her,

it definitely wasn't me if that's what you're thinking.

(audience laughing)

- You know, I used to put on shows just like that

when I was a little girl right here in this very room.

- Oh Linda's a performer too!

(clamoring) - Oh no no no.

I forced my whole family to watch,

I even charged admission.

What was it, Louise?

Five cents a head?

- Heaven knows we could use those funds.

- Hey, if you charge half what they charge for tickets

in Flatbush, you'd be in clover.

(chuckles)

(audience laughing)

- Wait a minute.

That's it.

- Of course it is.

- Show business could be the solution!

- Isn't that usually the problem?

(audience laughing)

- Maybe not this time.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

- You're a much better singer than you are a farmer.

- And you can build a stage.

- And you know all these dancers.

- The best hoofers in New York!

- And together we could put on a show!

- You could charge for tickets!

- Yes, we already covered that Daphne!

(audience laughing)

- But not just tickets, rooms!

- With all these bedrooms we could have a big

showplace hotel! - Showplace hotel!

(clamoring)

- Jim, I love it, but we can't just move out here.

- Yeah we have our shows and our lives back in the city.

- We're only free on the holidays.

- Okay.

Then we're only open on the holidays.

We work on the days other people don't!

- Oh you'll write special songs for each one!

- What do you say, gang!

(clamoring assertion)

- Hey Jim, mind if we make ourselves at home?

- Oh, we got 15 bedrooms!

- Ooh, the heat's still not working.

- Alright, um, so grab extra blankets from the hall closet

and everybody sleep together!

(audience laughing)

- I'm sorry, she doesn't know--

(laughing and chattering)

- Make yourselves at home!

- You're serious about this? - Absolutely.

- But I thought you wanted out of show business.

- I did.

I do!

But this is different!

No New York, no rat race, and...

Maybe it does take a little bit of performing

to live a normal life.

- Well that's certainly true. (chuckling)

- I have no idea if it'll work

but if I don't do something the bank is gonna

take this place back.

- Oh.

Well, it's a shame we're not open tonight, huh?

- [Jim] We?

- Christmas Eve?

It would be a big draw.

- Certainly would.

And who says we can't have our first rehearsal right now?

- What's that?

- An old Christmas song I wrote years ago

and stuck in a drawer.

(audience laughing)

("White Christmas" by Irving Berlin)

Well, it needs work. (audience laughing)

- No, no.

I would love to hear it.

Please.

♫ I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

♫ Just like the ones I used to know

♫ Where the treetops glisten

♫ And children listen

♫ To hear sleigh bells in the snow

♫ I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

♫ With every Christmas card I write

♫ May your days be merry and bright

♫ And may all your Christmases be white

♫ I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

♫ Just like the ones I used to know

- Where the treetops glisten.

♫ Where the treetops glisten

And children listen.

♫ And children listen

♫ To hear sleigh bells in the snow

♫ I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

♫ With every Christmas card I write

♫ May your days be merry and bright

♫ And may all your Christmases be white

(applauding)

See?

You're a natural.

(laughs)

- No, I guess you could say I was feeling inspired.

- Oh hi!

Oh.

Don't mind me, some of the kids

were feeling a bit peckish what with the train ride

from Grand Central and all the singing and dancing

and decorating and garland jumping, so uh...

(audience laughing)

Thought I'd just duck into the pantry

and grab that fruitcake you brought Linda

'cause you know what they say!

A hungry dancer is a cranky dancer

and we gotta keep our employees happy and satisfied!

And like Louise always says, feed 'em and they'll love ya!

Anyway, I can see you two are busy, busy bees

so don't let me interrupt!

I'm just gonna go upstairs and eat this entire fruitcake

by myself in shame, goodnight.

(audience laughing)

- Well, um, it's getting late.

Thank you for the song and the company.

- If you really wanna thank me you'll join me onstage

for our first show.

- Oh no, I haven't performed in years.

- What could be more perfect than Linda Mason

performing in the house she grew up in?

- No, I'm not ready--

- I'll give you five cents!

- Oh. (audience laughing)

Well that is very generous.

- So?

- So when's our first show?

- I say we start with New Year's Eve.

- But that's only a week away!

- Piece of cake, for a natural.

- [All] Happy New Year! (clamoring)

("Holiday Inn/Happy Holiday" by Irving Berlin)

♫ If you're burdened down with trouble

♫ If your nerves are wearing thin

♫ Park your load down the road

♫ And come to Holiday Inn

♫ If the traffic noise affects you

♫ Like a squeaky violin

♫ Kick your cares down the stairs

♫ And come to Holiday Inn

♫ If you can't find someone who

♫ Would set your heart a-whirl

♫ Take your car and motor to

♫ The home of boy meets girl

♫ If you're laid-up with a breakdown

♫ Throw away your vitamin

♫ Don't get worse, grab your nurse

♫ And come to Holiday Inn

- Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first ever

performance at the first ever Holiday Inn!

♫ Happy holiday

♫ Happy holiday

♫ While the merry bells keep ringing

♫ May your every wish come true

♫ Happy holiday

♫ Happy holiday

♫ Happy holiday

♫ Happy holiday

♫ May the calender keep ringing

♫ Happy holidays to you

♫ If you're burdened down with trouble

♫ If your nerves are wearing thin

♫ Pack your load down the road

♫ And come to Holiday Inn

♫ Happy holiday

♫ Happy holiday to you

(applauding)

Thank you, Connecticut!

(audience laughing)

I would now like to bring up to the stage

one of the reasons we're all here.

An original Mason from Mason Farm,

please welcome Miss Linda Mason!

(applauding)

- Wow, oh thank you!

I don't know what to say.

Other than I am so grateful that my home

is filled with light and laughter again.

And I know my father would be too.

- I thought it only fitting that Linda be the first

to sing on our stage.

Maestro.

("Let's Start the New Year Right" by Irving Berlin)

♫ One minute to midnight

♫ One minute to go

♫ One minute to say good-bye

♫ Before we say hello

♫ Let's start the new year right

♫ 12 o'clock tonight

♫ When they dim the light, let's begin

♫ Kissing the old year out

♫ Kissing the new year in

♫ Let's watch the old year die

♫ With a fond good-bye

♫ And our hopes as high as a kite

♫ How can our love go wrong if

♫ We start the new year

(clatters) - Oh!

- Ted? (laughs)

(drunken laughing)

- I couldn't find the front door!

- Ted Hanover, everybody!

Ain't he a gas?

(clapping)

What are you doing here Ted?

- I came for your big opening.

- Okay buddy, we gotta get you some hot coffee, huh?

- How about some whiskey?

- Let's take it from the refrain.

Maestro, two, three.

♫ Let's watch the old year die

♫ With a fond goodbye

♫ And our hopes as high as a kite

♫ How can our love go wrong if

♫ We start the new year right

- Ladies and gentlemen, the Holiday Inn Dancers.

- Excuse me miss! - Oh!

- Would you care to cut a rug? - Oh no no no no.

- Pardon me sir.

I'm Ted Hanover.

(clapping)

(singing)

- Excuse me!

- Oh!

(punches) (crying out)

- Jim! - Linda!

- What do we do? - Keep singing!

- [All] Keep singing?

♫ Let's watch the old year die

♫ With a fond good-bye

♫ And our hopes as high as a kite

♫ How can our love go wrong if

♫ We start the new year right

(whistling)

(cheering and applauding)

("Blue Skies" instrumental by Irving Berlin)

(applauding)

(groaning)

- Where am I?

- My bedroom.

- Ah! - Ah!

(audience laughing)

- Who are you?

- You don't remember?

(audience laughing)

- Did we?

- Not on your life, kid.

- Oh god.

Ow.

Wow.

There's a nasty game of pinball happening in my head.

- Yeah, the gallon of whiskey might have had

something to do with it.

Here, take these, courtesy of Mr. Bayer.

- Good morning, I hope you slept well.

I didn't.

- Jim?

Where am I?

- My farm in Connecticut.

You broke a window, tore the upholstery to shreds,

and horrified our guests!

- How humiliating!

I'm in Connecticut?

(audience laughing)

- Do you not remember last night?

- Let's see.

I got a wire from Lila saying she was quitting the act,

I remember that alright.

- Wait, Lila Dixon quitting?

- Yeah, she landed some millionaire from Texas

who promised to make her a star.

- Oh, she finally got what she wanted.

- Yeah and I got ditched.

- And then you got drunk.

- And then I got on a train to come see you.

- And then? - And then...

I woke up in bed with--

- Louise. - Louise.

(audience laughing)

Look buddy, whatever I did I'm sorry.

- Hey no, I'm sorry you lost your dance partner.

- Yeah, so am I.

If I ever wanna make it out in Hollywood I need a partner.

Wait a second.

Did I dance with somebody last night?

- No. - No.

- No!

I did!

Oh she was perfect!

It was like we were connected!

- Oh, you were pretty sauced last night,

I don't know you'd remember--

- I knew there was a reason I came here!

She's my new partner!

(chuckling)

She's the girl I should be taking to Hollywood!

But who was she?

- You don't remember, remember?

- I remember a vague outline.

- That was me!

- I don't think that was the outline.

(audience laughing)

But I'm sure I would know her if I danced with her again.

- Oh come on, there are a million girls here

who'd be dynamite with you!

Oh what's that you always say?

Girls are like buses, miss one and there'll be

another in 10 minutes.

- It's true!

- I'm not interested in any old bus,

I'm interested in that bus.

- I was gonna suggest the next bus to New York.

("You're Easy to Dance With" by Irving Berlin)

- I'll dance with all the girls in your show

until I find the one I'm looking for.

- Oh, start with me.

You never know.

(audience laughing)

♫ I could dance nightly just holding you tightly, my sweet

Eyes up, fella. (audience laughing)

♫ I could keep right on because you're so light on your feet

Stop, I get that a lot.

♫ You're easy to dance with

- Nope!

Where are the other bedrooms, Jim?

- Right this way.

- Wake up girls!

Who wants to be Ted Hanover's new dance partner?

(girls clamoring)

♫ There is no doubt in the way you stand out in the crowd

♫ Though it's called dancing to me it's romancing out loud

♫ You're easy to dance with

(sighing)

♫ Loving you the way I do

♫ Makes you easy to dance with

♫ That is why I'm always right on the beat

(tap dancing) - Oh!

♫ All those charms in one man's arms

♫ Makes you easy to dance with

♫ I can hardly keep my mind on my feet

♫ Let's dance forever

♫ Come on, say we'll never be through

♫ It's so easy to dance with you

(shouting)

- Woo! - I--

- Woo!

Whee!

- Ole!

Woo!

(growls)

- Hi.

(audience laughing)

- Ah! (audience laughing)

- Me! - You.

(tap dancing)

That was great!

(tapping continues)

Really?

♫ I'm easy to dance with

A for effort.

♫ I'm easy to dance with

I'll take your word for it.

♫ I'm easy to dance with

♫ I'm easy to dance with

♫ We're easy to dance with

(murmuring and shouting)

Nice.

(laughs)

I'm sorry ladies.

You're all marvelous but whoever this girl was

she must have taken the early train.

I gotta find her.

- [Girls] Aw!

♫ It's so easy to dance with you

- You're a peach!

♫ It's so easy to dance

♫ Easy to dance with you

(cheering and applauding)

- [Girls] Bye Ted!

- [Kid] Bet you can't catch me!

- [Man] Come back here you little twerp!

(laughs)

- Linda!

Linda, wait.

I want to apologize for New Year's Eve.

Are you doing alright?

- Have you seen the front page of The Courier?

- They canceled my subscription.

- Oh.

Well the principal called me into his office.

He's got more than a few phone calls from concerned parents.

- Oh yikes, I'm sorry.

This is all my fault.

Tell me what I can do to help.

- Nothing.

Let's just say that's the extent

of my showbiz comeback, huh?

- But you were sensational!

It was Ted who mucked it all up.

- Yes, and then you punched him!

- Well...I'm not proud of it but Ted has a knack

for taking away the women I care about.

Look at what happened with Lila, and now you.

- Me?

- Linda? (scoffs)

Unless I'm on some other planet, I thought you and I

were finally getting to know each other.

And like each other.

- Well that's not incorrect.

(audience laughing)

- Well now I guess that's why I'm here.

To start a new chapter.

Would you like to go on a date?

- A date?

- That's normally how these things start.

- Right. - So.

Yes?

- I'm a little out of practice.

- Oh, that makes two of us.

- What would we do?

(audience laughing)

- We could go for a ride on my tractor.

(audience laughing)

("Let's Take an Old-Fashioned Walk" by Irving Berlin)

- In January?

- It's invigorating! - It's refrigerating.

- Oh.

Come on, you're not afraid of a little cold, are you?

- I spend my days with 10 year olds,

I'm not afraid of anything.

(audience laughing)

- Except this date. - Who says it's a date?

- Well we don't have to do anything fancy.

Let's take it one step at a time.

- What's the first step?

♫ Let's take an old fashioned walk

♫ I'm just bursting with talk

♫ What a tale could be told

♫ If we went for an old fashioned walk

♫ Let's take a stroll through the park

♫ Down a lane where it's dark

♫ And a heart that's controlled

♫ May relax on an old fashioned walk

♫ I know for a couple who seem to be miles apart

♫ There's nothing like walking and having a heart to heart

♫ I know a girl who declined

♫ Couldn't make up her mind

♫ She was wrapped up and sold

♫ Coming home from an old fashioned walk

♫ Some couples go for a buggy ride

♫ When they start caring a lot

(giggles)

♫ Others will bicycle side by side

♫ Out to some romantic spot

♫ But when you haven't a sue

♫ There's only one thing to do

♫ Let's take an old fashioned walk

♫ I'm just bursting with talk

♫ What a tale could be told

♫ If we went for an old fashioned walk

♫ What a tale could told

♫ If we went for an old fashioned walk

(applauding)

- Well I been wanting to do that since Christmas Eve.

- Me too. (audience laughing)

- Say, what are you doing for Valentine's Day?

- Oh, just the usual.

Dinner for one and a Russian novel.

(audience laughing)

- Well how about dinner for two?

And a show?

- At the inn? - It is a holiday.

- Well as long as I'm in the audience.

- No, we'll build a whole number around you!

- No, it isn't right for teachers to get mixed up

in those things.

- But then we'll get free tickets for the principal,

and the students, and the concerned parents!

- Alright. - Alright?

- Alright, yes, I'll do it.

- Rehearsal starts tomorrow after school.

- It's a date.

♫ What a tale could be told

♫ If we went for an old fashioned

♫ Then we'll do a cross ball change

♫ I'll sweep you in a dip

♫ Dance with me

♫ I want my arm about you

♫ The charm about you

- Who?

Who?

The charm about who?

- Hi Danny.

- You've got a Valentine's show tomorrow.

You still haven't found the new partner?

- Of course I have.

Meet Theresa.

(audience laughing)

- Ha ha ha, I'm laughing.

Universal called.

- Universal?

- As in Hollywood?

- Oh my god.

- They wanna test you and Lila for a new picture!

- Finally!

I'm gonna be a movie star!

- I didn't wanna tell 'em she went rogue so I'm stalling

and I don't know how long I can hold them off.

- Oh right, right, right.

- But if you don't have a girl, you don't have a chance.

- I looked all over the city, okay?

But no girl dances with me like the girl that I found

at Jim's place on New Year's Eve!

- Then go back to Holiday Inn and look harder!

- Oh, hi Charlie.

What are you doing here?

- Dropping off a final notice from the bank.

Mr. Hardy's deep in the red and not in the festive

Valentine's way, if you know what I mean.

(audience laughing)

Why are you here?

- Oh, uh, well--

- Are you dating Mr. Hardy?

(audience laughing)

- Charlie, I'm here for rehearsal for a show.

- Aha.

Because I saw you and Mr. Hardy together in the park once

and on Main Street, so you can see how one might think

you're dating.

Because you've been on a handful of dates.

(audience laughing)

- Define handful.

- You're the teacher.

- Three.

We've been on three dates.

- I thought you liked being independent.

- I do.

And I like being in a relationship.

- Now it's a relationship!

How will I ever trust another woman?

(audience laughing)

- Charlie, I really can't help you with that.

But I will make sure that Mr. Hardy receives his notice,

thank you.

Oh give me a piece of that.

(audience laughing)

(piano music)

- Hey, watch it, I just had that tuned yesterday.

- I know, I know, I'm sorry.

- So.

What are you getting Linda?

- For what? - Valentine's Day!

- I'm not, we agreed to take it one step at a time.

I don't wanna put too much pressure on her.

- Huh.

If I were you, I'd put some pressure on those keys

and play this song you been writing for her.

- Who says I've been writing a song for Linda?

- Your first draft was literally called A Song For Linda.

(audience laughing)

- Do you think it'll scare her away?

- It's Valentine's Day, kid, let 'er rip!

- Ach. - Come on.

Hi, hi.

Sorry I'm late, there were papers to grade

and snow to shovel, really all excuses.

- Oh it's quite alright, we're plenty busy here

with preparations for tomorrow night.

- Wow.

Oh this place is gonna look wonderful.

- Yeah, I certainly hope so.

- Um...I have a confession to make.

- What's that?

- I have never celebrated Valentine's Day before.

- What?

I don't believe that.

- Nope, it's true.

The only Valentine's I've ever gotten

are those little doily hearts from my students.

- Oh, darn it.

I forgot to make one.

(audience laughing)

- Are you holding a doily behind your back?

- No. (audience laughing)

- Are you sure it's not a doily?

- I'm sure.

- You don't have to be embarrassed if it's a doily.

- Please stop saying doily.

(audience laughing)

I wrote you a song.

- Be Careful, It's My Heart.

- I ain't kiddin' either.

("Be Careful, It's My Heart" by Irving Berlin)

♫ Sweetheart of mine

♫ I've sent you a Valentine

♫ Sweetheart of mine

♫ It's more than a Valentine

♫ Be careful, it's my heart

♫ It's not my watch you're holding, it's my heart

♫ It's not the note I sent you

♫ That you quickly burned

♫ It's not the book I lent you

♫ That you never returned

♫ Remember, it's my heart

♫ The heart with which so willingly I part

♫ It's yours to take

♫ To keep or break

♫ But please, before you start

♫ Be careful, it's my heart

(giggles)

- Hi Jim.

- Ted.

You're back?

- Yeah I'm still looking for that girl.

- Oh, which girl?

- I don't believe we've met.

- We haven't?

- Ted, Linda, Linda, Ted.

Anyway, plenty of girls here, why don't you check the bar?

- I'd love to hear more of that song first.

It's terrific, it's very danceable.

- Well you should probably get going.

- Come on, play me a little.

- Those girls go to bed early.

- Play me a few bars, I'm gone.

(clearing throat)

(piano music)

Say, that's a foxtrot.

- Uh huh.

- You know what a foxtrot needs?

- Nope.

- A partner.

- Oh no, I-- - Come on.

Come on, a little bit.

♫ Remember, it's my heart

♫ The heart with which so willingly I part

It was you. - What was me?

(audience laughing)

- You didn't tell her? - Tell me what?

- For six weeks I have been searching for the girl

that I danced with on New Year's Eve.

- Oh.

- You have been right here the whole time!

- Hey now, wait a minute--

- I want you to be my new partner.

- What?

- It's a dream come true, I know.

- Oh wow! (audience laughing)

- We could start right now,

I already choreographed a number for Valentine's Day.

- No no no, you are not taking her away from me.

- You're not listening to me, Jim.

The idea is to do the act here.

I'll bring all the newspapers up.

Your business'll boom.

- Well we're doing just fine.

- Are you sure, Jim?

I ran into Charlie Winslow outside.

- Oh great, my favorite person.

What does he want?

(audience laughing)

- Look, Jim.

If the last six months have taught me anything

it's that Ted Hanover sells tickets.

- No, no, I've already written the songs,

the show is all set.

- But you can make adjustments, right?

- Of course he can, he's just trying to hide his gratitude.

- Linda, you think this is a good idea?

- We've only been open six weeks, we could use the press.

And if Ted is a big draw--

- Ted is a big draw.

(audience laughing)

- Don't we want this place, our place,

to be the best it can be?

- I suppose so.

- Then why don't we give this a shot?

- What were you envisioning?

(audience laughing)

- Something that reeks of grace and charm, you know?

- Oh naturally.

- It's a romantic waltz.

- I was thinking more along the lines of a conga.

- Oh god. (audience laughing)

- It's Valentine's Day, they want sweet and gentle!

Look, the audience should swoon every time

I take her into my arms.

- Swoon, oh yes, what a joy it'll be to see you dance

with one of my girlfriends again.

Anything I can do to help.

- It's just a show, Jim.

- Alright.

I'll make sure the conductor knows you want it

sweet and gentle.

- Terrific.

Let's get to work.

♫ Be careful, it's my heart

("Cheek to Cheek" by Irving Berlin)

♫ Heaven I'm in Heaven

♫ Heaven

♫ Heaven I'm in Heaven

♫ Heaven

♫ Heaven

♫ Heaven

♫ Ah

♫ Heaven, I'm in Heaven

♫ And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak

♫ And I seem to find the happiness I seek

♫ When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

♫ Heaven

♫ I'm in Heaven

♫ And the cares that hung around me through the week

♫ Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak

♫ When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

- Ladies and gentlemen, Holiday Inn is proud to welcome

dance sensation Ted Hanover appearing tonight

with our very own Linda Mason!

♫ Oh I love to climb a mountain

♫ And to reach the highest peak

♫ But it doesn't thrill me half as much

♫ As dancing cheek to cheek

♫ Oh I love to go out fishing

♫ In a river or a creek

♫ But I don't enjoy it half as much

♫ As dancing cheek to cheek

♫ Dance with me

♫ I want my arm about you

♫ The charm about you

♫ Will carry me through

(conga-tempo music)

♫ Heaven, I'm in Heaven

♫ And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak

(confused murmuring)

♫ And I seem to find the happiness I seek

(audience laughing)

♫ When we're out together

♫ Dancing cheek to cheek

(carnival-tempo music)

♫ Heaven Heaven Heaven

♫ I'm in Heaven Heaven Heaven

♫ And my hearts beats so that I can hardly speak

♫ And I seem to find the happiness I seek

♫ When we're out together

♫ Out together

♫ Out together dancing

♫ Out together

♫ Out together dancing cheek to cheek

(applauding)

- What was that all about?

- What was what all about?

- Every time I got close to Linda you threw the tempo!

- Why were you getting close to her in the first place?

That's not what we rehearsed.

- When I play a role, I'm fully invested!

- Yeah, little too invested if you ask me.

- Why are you getting so touchy?

- Oh I don't know, maybe because every time

I fall for a girl you swan in

and sprinkle stardust in her eyes!

- This isn't stardust, buddy, it's business!

- Yeah, it's always business with you.

This is my life.

- No, it's her life.

Okay Linda's good, Jim.

She's good enough for the big time!

- No, you are not doing this!

This is Lila all over again!

- What is Lila all over again?

- Nothing honey, you were wonderful,

you don't have to worry about a thing.

(audience laughing)

- I am worried about what just happened tonight.

Someone could have gotten hurt.

- Well, maybe you should tell that to Teddy here.

He doesn't seem concerned with hurting people.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- You wanna know what it means?

- Alright, what is going on between you two?

- I think Jim should tell you.

- Tell me what?

- It's nothing.

- It's not nothing, I was telling him that you and I

work well together.

Okay it was clear on stage tonight,

I was merely suggesting that we keep working on our act.

I think we could really go places with it.

Okay I'm talking about Hollywood.

(laughs)

- Oh Ted.

Ted, thank you.

You, yes, me, no.

I'm just a teacher.

- You're a star!

In the making.

- I mean it does sound pretty exciting.

(audience laughing)

No, I can't leave Midville, right?

- Exactly, you have your life, you have your students,

you have...me.

- Exactly.

- Alright, fine.

I'm just pointing out the possibilities, you know.

We put this show together in one night.

Imagine what we could do with a little time?

- Look, I know how it can get between two old friends

but I think Ted is just trying to help.

- You can never be sure with Ted.

There is a fine line between what's real

and what's for show.

- And tonight was for show.

This is real, you and me.

- You don't say?

- Oh, well I do say.

(phone ringing)

- Whoever's calling me at midnight

I hope it's better than the dream I was just having.

- Depends, what were you dreaming about?

- Not you.

- [Woman] Danny!

I can hear you talking all the way upstairs!

- I'm on the phone with a client, Ma!

- Do you live with your mother?

(audience laughing)

- No.

- Okay.

Danny, listen.

I found the girl. - Which girl?

- The girl from New Year's Eve!

My new dance partner.

- You're kidding!

Where the hell was she?

- At Jim's place.

I'm telling you, the chemistry between us, it's perfect.

- I'm gonna need proof before I call

the producers from Hollywood, boychik.

- I'm gonna put something great together for Easter, just...

Get up here.

- Hey Ma, when's Easter?

(audience laughing)

("Easter Parade" by Irving Berlin)

♫ On the Avenue

♫ On the Avenue

♫ Fifth Avenue

♫ Fifth Avenue

♫ The photographers will snap us

♫ And you'll find that you're in the rotogravure

- Hey guys wait!

One more with me!

(audience laughing)

♫ Oh, I could write a sonnet about your Easter bonnet

♫ And of the girl I'm taking to the Easter parade

Thank you boys, here we go everyone!

- Well hello boys.

♫ Never saw you look quite so pretty before

♫ Never saw you dressed quite so lovely what's more

♫ I could hardly wait to keep our date

♫ This lovely Easter morning

♫ And my heart beat fast as I came through the door

♫ For in my Easter bonnet

♫ With all the frills upon it

♫ I'll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade

♫ Oh, I could write a sonnet about your Easter bonnet

♫ And of the girl I'm taking to the Easter parade

♫ To the Easter parade

(applauding)

My goodness, the crowds have been wonderful.

I guess Ted is a big draw.

- My motherly intuition tells me he's still up to something.

- Jim, he is filling up the place every night.

Let's give him the benefit of the doubt.

- Oh, I'll give him doubt alright.

- Alright, some of my students were in the house tonight,

I'd like to introduce you.

- Okay.

- Teddy!

Teddy!

- Danny? (claps)

You made it. - Barely.

I feel a little out of place here.

I think I just got stung by a WASP.

(audience laughing)

Oh I don't mean the insect kind.

Alright, let's make this quick,

I wanna get the hell out of here.

You were right about Linda Mason!

- I told you! - She's a natural!

The two of you were perfect together, boychik!

- I know.

- And the timing couldn't be better.

The studio wants you in Hollywood next week

for that screen test!

- That's great, there's just one problem.

Linda won't go to Hollywood!

- Why the hell not?

- Because she's in love with Jim.

- What is it with you and Jim's girls, eh?

Is this...is this a thing for you?

- No! (audience laughing)

It's a thing for Jim, he never wants them to leave!

- Well what does Linda want to do?

- Apparently she likes it here.

- Well, that's what makes her so perfect.

She's fresh, she's real.

Just what Hollywood loves to turn to plastic.

(audience laughing)

- Look, she is perfect, but she'll never leave

Holiday Inn for Hollywood.

- Then let's bring Hollywood to Holiday Inn.

(dramatic music)

("Song of Freedom" by Irving Berlin)

♫ On this day of independence

♫ On this Independence Day

♫ Listen to an American troubadour from the USA

- You know what?

Let's stay on the F, it'll work better with the chord.

♫ From the USA

Great, and then you and Ted have your big

patriotic dance break.

Where is Ted anyway?

- Here!

Sorry I'm late.

- Right, let's continue with the sequence.

♫ We're singing a song of freedom

♫ For all people who cry out to be free

- Charlie Winslow, reporting for duty.

- I wasn't aware you worked here, Charlie.

- Yeah, the bank let me go.

Something about child labor laws?

- Hmm. (audience laughing)

Alright, well store these backstage for the show tonight,

thanks for pitching in.

- Louise, I need to arrange a pickup from the station.

6:30 train.

- I'll alert the press.

- Oh just arrange the pickup please.

I got some bigshot producers coming in from Hollywood.

- Oh.

♫ Free to sail the seven seas

♫ Free to worship as we please

♫ If the birds up in the trees can be free

♫ Why can't we

- That's right, you'll wanna whisk Ted

and his new partner Linda Mason straight to Hollywood

as soon as you see the show!

That's right!

♫ We're singing a song of freedom

No no, Lila Dixon is not an option.

She moved to Dallas to try to be a star.

You can imagine how that's going.

No Linda Mason is the one you want!

♫ We're singing a song of freedom

♫ For all people who cry out to be free

(clapping)

- Operator, get me Miss Lila Dixon in Dallas, Texas please.

It's urgent.

- Ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to celebrate!

It's July 4th at Holiday Inn!

("Let's Say It With Firecrackers/Song of Freedom"

by Irving Berlin)

♫ Let's say it with firecrackers and banners held high

♫ Let's have a real old-fashioned noisy Fourth of July

♫ Don't need any long speeches or shouts of hooray

♫ No words can say as much as firecrackers can say

And here they are!

The hottest firecrackers in Connecticut!

The Holiday Inn Dancers!

(applauding)

♫ We're singing, singing a song of freedom

♫ Singing a song for all God's people

♫ Who cry out to be free

♫ Free to speak and free to hear

♫ Free from want and free from fear

♫ Sons of freedom far and near who agree

♫ Sing with me

♫ That all God's people

♫ All God's people shall be free

- They're here!

The Hollywood producers.

They just sat down at table 12.

- Table 12, I got it.

- Be sure to play to them, but not too much,

you don't wanna look desperate.

- I'm desperate to find Linda, have you seen her?

- You finish getting ready, I'll go look.

- Louise, I don't understand.

Why would my tap shoes be in the barn?

- Because I was using them earlier.

- I have never seen you tap dance in my life.

- And you don't want to.

(audience laughing)

- Louise, I need to get my costume on,

our number's about to start.

- Yes it is.

And you'll thank me for this one day!

- Hey, wait!

- I can't find Linda anywhere and you're on

in a minute and 57 seconds!

- So hold the curtain!

- The producers aren't gonna wait around all night!

- I rehearsed a double act!

- Improvise!

- Improvise?

Hey kid.

You're too young to be playing with fireworks.

- You're too old to be playing with fireworks.

- Oh, is this the stage door to the Holiday Inn?

- You're Ted Hanover's old dance partner.

- Old?

- Former? - Former.

- Former. (audience laughing)

I thought you were living in Texas with a millionaire.

- Yeah, turns out he didn't own millions, he owed 'em.

Anyhow, Ted and I are dancing at the inn tonight.

A couple Hollywood producers are here to consider us

for pictures.

- Well, I thought Ted had a new partner.

- Oh, she won't be there tonight.

- Well I was told she was dancing tonight.

I work at the inn.

- Waitress? - Yes.

- I know your boss Jim Hardy quite well.

(giggles) Quite well.

- Is he the one who invited you here tonight?

- Who else?

- Oh.

Well listen, you are late for the show already.

- Oh.

- Why don't you take the back door right this way?

- Where, here?

- Yep, just take a left when you see Bessie.

- Thank you!

(cow mooing)

(screaming)

(audience laughing)

♫ We're singing a

(audience laughing)

♫ I'm singing a song of freedom

(tap dancing)

- Just one second.

Alright.

(popping) (tap dancing)

(drumming)

(fireworks exploding)

(audience laughing)

How y'all doing?

Nice seats.

♫ We're singing a song of freedom

♫ For all people who cry out to be free

(mumbles)

♫ Don't need any long speeches

♫ Or shouts of hooray

♫ No words can say as much as firecrackers

(popping) - Woo!

♫ Can say

(cheering and applauding)

My goodness, you will not believe what just happened to me.

- It better be good, you just left me out there to dry!

- Not by choice.

- What happened?

- A bad job of sabotage.

- What are you talking about?

- You tried to keep me from performing tonight, didn't you?

You knew there were gonna be producers here from Hollywood

and you didn't want to take the chance

that I might actually be good enough to impress them.

- Hey, are you feeling alright?

- Quite frankly, no.

I just spent the last 10 minutes locked in the barn

with your ex-fiancee.

- With Lila?

That's impossible.

She's in Texas.

- With a millionaire.

- Actually kids, she is in the barn with Bessie.

- What?

- Well I was trying to get her on stage.

- Bessie? - Lila!

- Louise! (audience laughing)

Are you behind this?

- Well I was just trying to help.

- Yeah so was I!

- By taking Linda to Hollywood?

- Yes, for this one screen test!

- Yeah, we know how that goes.

- Wait Jim, you had no idea about

the producers from Hollywood?

- What producers from Hollywood?

- The producers from Hollywood loved it!

Not only that, they wanna do a picture about Holiday Inn!

The idea behind it, how it all works,

the special holiday songs, all of it!

- This is phenomenal! - Yes!

Of course it's purely on spec and far from foolproof,

but I've got goosebumps about this one

and I don't get goosebumps!

- When do they need us?

- Right away!

- I'm sorry!

The idea is not for sale.

- Maybe I haven't explained this properly.

They're going to pay you for the rights, handsomely.

And they wanna use Ted and Linda in the picture!

- I assumed as much.

Linda, is this what you wanna do?

- No, she wants to stay here and teach school

to six kids in the middle of nowhere.

What do you think she wants to do?

- Alright Danny, let me do my own thinking please.

- Sure.

Sure.

You're killin' me!

- I dunno.

I mean this is something I've always wondered about, right?

- You'd be crazy to turn it down.

- Jim, opportunities like this only come around

once in a lifetime.

- Yeah, where have I heard that before?

- Jim, I really think-- - Linda.

If it's your dream, then you have to follow your heart.

Make the movie.

(elated screaming)

- Great!

I'll call TWA, you'll be on a flight first thing

tomorrow morning.

First class!

Possibly, I haven't done the deal yet.

(audience laughing)

Come on, let's go, they're dying to meet me!

(audience laughing)

- [Ted] How does my hair look?

- Hey, are you okay?

- Oh, I'm fine.

- Jim, I was just trying to help.

- I know Lou.

- Aren't you coming, Jim?

They're gonna wanna talk to you about the music

and who knows the story of Holiday Inn

better than you do, huh?

- Well, they can have it all.

The story, the music, and you.

- What?

I thought you just said we should make the movie.

- No, I said you should make it.

I thought we wanted the same things,

but obviously we don't.

- No, we do want the same things.

- No, we don't.

I want to stay here and you want to go to Hollywood.

- Right but can't we both--

- I won't stand in your way but I can't wait for you either.

I've made that mistake once before.

- Okay, then what if I stay here and then we can--

- You'd resent missing your shot at the big time.

No, Linda, you should go.

- Why are you doing this?

I thought that you wanted to start--

- I want you to go.

- Alright Jim.

If that's how you really feel.

Honestly I don't know what to say.

- Neither do I.

("Nothing More To Say (reprise)" by Irving Berlin)

♫ Gone are the pretty speeches

♫ That you plan for your lucky day

♫ Funny when you're left with nothing more to say

- [Announcer] Coming to you live from the star-studded hills

of Hollywood, California.

The KRLA Thanksgiving Extravaganza presents

Ted Hanover and his new co-star Linda Mason

who are about to start shooting their first picture,

Holiday Inn, for Universal.

(phone ringing)

- Holiday Inn.

(coughs)

No ma'am, sorry to say there's no Thanksgiving show.

She wants to know if we're having a Christmas show.

- No.

- No.

New Year's?

- No.

- No.

Are we closed for good?

- I dunno.

- No ma'am, we're not closed for good

but the renovations are taking longer than we thought.

Uh huh, you too, happy Thanksgiving.

- What renovations?

- Yours.

(audience laughing)

Look around you.

You built this beautiful place.

You made a lot of people happy, including me.

Including you.

You gotta get that back.

- No, it's over Louise.

I don't want to run this place without Linda.

- And you shouldn't, you two are supposed to be together.

- I know! - Then tell her!

- I already did!

- No, you told her to leave!

Now she's acting out some phony version of her life

for the cameras and she should be right here

in Connecticut living the real thing with you.

- No, it's too late.

- No, never.

You could melt her heart right down to butter

if you just turn on the heat.

(audience laughing)

(bangs) Go get her, Jim!

- But where would I even start?

(doorbell ringing)

- Funny you should ask.

(audience laughing)

- Special delivery for Mr. Hardy.

- One round trip ticket to the city of angels

and a map of Hollywood.

- And I got you this bag of licorice.

Don't eat it all on the plane though,

it's Miss Mason's favorite.

- And here's a headshot of Veronica Lake.

If you happen to run into her

have her sign it to me personally.

(audience laughing)

Dear Louise, I love you always, Veronica.

- You really are a fix it man, aren't you?

- The best.

Now come on buster, let's get you packed.

You're on the next flight to Hollywood!

(bell ringing)

- [Man] Clear it out, clear it out, clear it out,

quick quick quick quick please, thank you!

(shouting)

- [Man] Francis, where are my lights?

How am I supposed to make a movie if I can't see?

Alright, everybody, quiet on set!

Close 'em up!

(bell ringing)

- Okay sweetie, I think you've got the mood.

Remember the circumstances here.

Your Broadway attempt was a flop!

Your house is in foreclosure, your father's dead.

Blah blah blah blah blah, let's go.

(audience laughing)

- Holiday Inn, scene four, take 17.

- Rolling. - Speed.

- Snow machine. (clapboard claps)

- And action!

(gentle music)

- It's a shame we're not open tonight.

Oh Christmas Eve would be a smash.

- Who says we're not a smash?

I have a new Christmas song I just finished writing

the other night.

And baby, my leading lady, she's right here.

- If you insist.

- I insist.

("White Christmas" by Irving Berlin)

♫ I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

- I'm sorry, can I have a moment?

- Cut, another moment honey,

this is your seventeenth moment today.

- I know, I am so sorry.

- Here.

Are you gonna be okay?

- No Ted, it's all wrong, it's not at all

how it happened.

- Nobody else is gonna know that.

- But I know it.

Jim was the one who started singing first.

I wasn't sure of myself.

- Hey hey hey.

They change the true story for the movies all the time.

- I know.

I know, you're right, let's try it again, huh?

- You sure? - Mm hmm.

- We're good to go again guys.

- Alright, she's okay, again!

- [Boy] Wasn't she okay again before?

- Yes, but then she wasn't and now she is.

- I can hear you.

(audience laughing)

- Remember, if you cry the audience won't

so let's get into the scene without getting all blubbery,

okay darling?

- Holiday Inn, scene four, take eighteen.

- Rolling. - Speed.

- Snow machine. (clapboard claps)

- And action!

(gentle music)

- It's a shame we're not open tonight.

Christmas Eve would be a smash.

- Who says we're not a smash?

I have a new Christmas song

I just finished writing the other night.

And baby, my leading lady, she's right here.

- If you insist.

- I insist.

(audience laughing)

♫ I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

♫ Just like the ones I used to know

♫ Where the treetops glisten and children listen to hear

- Who is that? ♫ Sleigh bells in the snow

- Cut!

(audience laughing)

Who the hell is this?

- It's Jim.

- What are you talking about?

He's not Jim, he's Jim.

- This is a guest, a visitor, and he was just leaving.

- No he wasn't.

(shouting)

- Alright folks, let's take an early lunch.

Clear it out. (bell ringing)

- What are you doing here?

I thought you wanted me out of your life.

- No.

Just the opposite.

I'm sorry this took me so long.

I should have asked you the night

the Hollywood producers were there.

- Or before that.

(audience laughing)

- I am fully prepared to stay here

for the entire film shoot, even if it means

I have to become an errand boy.

I will move here, if that's what you want.

- Move here?

I hate it here.

- Linda Mason.

Will you marry me?

- Yes.

- Yes? - Yes.

- She said yes!

- Yes, now kiss me already.

- But what about the picture?

You can't just up and leave,

we've barely started shooting!

- Good, then it won't be too much trouble to replace me.

- You say that like it won't be too much trouble.

May I remind you you have a contract--

- Danny.

It's just paper.

- So is money. - Danny.

Hey.

Every now and then, it's a good idea to pause

in our pursuit of happiness to just...

Be happy.

Let's go, boychik.

- [Danny] Is she really walking out on this?

(audience laughing)

- Yes I am.

I'm going home.

To my real home.

To Holiday Inn.

(upbeat music)

(applauding)

(fanfare music)

(dramatic music)

- It's a shame we're not open tonight.

Christmas Eve would be a smash.

- Oh, who says we're not a smash?

I have a new Christmas song I just finished writing

the other night.

And baby, my leading lady, she's right here.

- If you insist.

- I insist.

(audience laughing)

(applauding)

("Finale" by Irving Berlin)

♫ Steppin' out with my baby

♫ Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right

♫ Ask me when will the day be

♫ The big day may be tonight

♫ Here she comes down the street

♫ I'll admit my defeat

♫ I won my hot toddy

♫ Over my scarred body

♫ I knew that I'd win singing

♫ Just wait until she gets a load of your dancing

(audience laughing)

♫ We'll stay at the inn singing

♫ All by myself I'll have to stick to my dancing

- [Lila] Yoohoo!

♫ Oh no my friend

♫ I'm here to end

♫ Your dancing trouble and strife

♫ This will be fun miss hit and run

♫ Has come back into my life

♫ You made it

♫ Straight from the red carpet

- Special delivery for Mr. Hardy.

- You know what Charlie?

You're alright.

You can stick around.

- I know, in a few years you'll be working for me.

(audience laughing)

- What do you say, kids?

There's no bigger holiday than a wedding.

♫ Heaven

♫ Heaven

♫ I'm in Heaven

♫ I'm in Heaven

♫ And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak

- Mr. Hardy, we have a lot to live up to.

- How do you mean?

- Our Hollywood alter egos.

Pretty glamorous.

(audience laughing)

- Mrs. Hardy, I prefer the real thing.

♫ When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

♫ Ah

(cheering and applauding)

(upbeat orchestral score)

(cheering and applauding)

(cheering and applauding)

(cheering and applauding)

(cheering and applauding)

(cheering and applauding)

♫ Then come to Holiday Inn

(cheering and applauding)