Original subtitles

It's official. It is 10AM on a Saturday.

I respectfully quit modern feminism.

When I'm in charge, I'm replacing you with AI.

I hope you're not like this in front of him.

No, no stupid. Shhh.

What is this?

When did all this happen?

I didn't even know you were dating anybody.

I haven't really had the time to announce it.

All under control?

Of course.

Zo got engaged.

Wow, congrats.

We'll go out as a team and celebrate together, my way on me.

Oh, no, we don't have to.

Thursday, bring your fiancé. Come on.

Congratulations.

Go easy.

You have a wedding in three months.

You talk to Bilal today?

This is not the way to start a happy marriage.

You can't just ignore your fiancé.

Love doesn't just happen overnight, you know?

You got to make it.

Can I get married tomorrow then?

Because I can't take this cringe any longer.

Give me your phone.

Hold still.

He's asking how you are. You don't even respond.

Such a nice boy.

You need to be careful.

If Bilal up breaks off this engagement

because of the way you are behaving,

then it'll be very difficult to find

another man who is willing to marry her.

Hashtag left on the shelf.

Nobody wants to be with a girl who's already been engaged.

I'm a 26-year-old woman.

Exactly. Already so old for marriage.

Bilal's mum told me they've had a lot of offers from younger girls.

Good for him. Yeah?

I'll write on your behalf?

Oh, please don't.

It's completely normal not to respond right away.

Good.

Hello, Bilal.

I am doing very well. Thank you for asking.

I hope that you are also having a good day.

I'm very busy at work, and then I made dinner for my parents.

Very nice.

So I'm only looking at my phone now.

So sorry.

T-well, T-T-Y-L, okay?

T-T-Y-L, talk to you later.

That's how they talk now.

Talk to you later. T-T-Y-L from Zoya.

Oh my God.

Ugh.

You haven't a notion how easy you have it.

I've been on the dating apps for years,

and all I have to show for it is trust issues and antibiotics.

The city is too small. Maybe you should emigrate.

I can't. I'm a 7.4 in Dublin.

If I moved to Sydney, I'd be a five.

This is the only photo I have.

Does he not have Instagram? No.

I'm not a naive little girl.

Know what men are like.

I watch Love Island.

He seems nice.

Look, Zo, I think you need to meet up with Bilal.

That's not how it works.

You can't just be attracted to the idea of someone.

You have to meet and see if you have a spark.

And what shoes he wears.

Zoya.

Zoya.

What's going on? Make this eejit see some sense.

Istanbul Institute for Aesthetic Surgery?

Bilal has applied for fellowship there.

What? I don't like this at all.

Don't be such a hypocrite.

You picked him for our daughter

because he was going to be a surgeon.

Yeah, because I thought he would be saving lives,

not creating Kardashians.

Bilal is moving to Turkey?

Well... If he is accepted, yes.

Listen, it is only for three years,

and then he will move back to Dublin,

and he will operate here. And what am I supposed to do?

Bilal's mum wants you to go with him.

And be a dutiful wife.

I can't practise as a solicitor in Turkey.

Just slow down.

He hasn't even been invited for I don't have an interview yet.

Well, I hope he doesn't get it.

You know, we should be grateful our future son-in-law is so ambitious.

What?

What is that for?

What?

I called Bilal.

You spoke to him?

He didn't pick up, so I left him a voicemail.

Ew. A voicemail? Are you a psychopath?

It has to be a secret.

I asked him to meet me somewhere private.

Please don't stay in the woods alone.

What car does he drive?

I don't know.

Hey.

Hi.

Eh... Nice to meet you properly. Yeah.

Glad you called me.

It's important to me if this is something that you actually want.

I would have called you myself,

but I didn't want to come across as too eager.

Eager?

We're engaged. Aw!

You have great taste.

Oh, I didn't pick it out.

Dad did.

I heard about your big plans abroad.

Yeah.

There's nice money in plastics, particularly rhinoplasty.

Everybody has one.

Your mum I asked me to go with you to Istanbul, but I can't work there.

She's away with the fairies.

You wouldn't mind if I stayed here then?

Not at all.

Sure you could move with my parents.

You may as well keep working and saving for now.

For now?

Well, when I eventually move back here,

we'll need two incomes and a decent deposit to get mortgage approval.

And then what?

And then you'll have to stay at home with our kids, I guess?

We won't be able to afford a full-time nanny on top of trying

to open my own private clinic.

So all going well,

I'm expected to sacrifice everything I've worked for.

I'm trying to give us a cushy life.

I'm making sacrifices, too.

Like what?

Happiness.

Do you want to marry me?

You know what I mean.

I have a cousin.

He grew up in Glasgow and met his girlfriend on Erasmus in Sweden.

When his parents, my aunt and uncle, found out,

they got him engaged to a nice Pakistani woman.

He's still with a Swedish girlfriend now and very much in love.

But his parents act like he doesn't exist.

So you've had a girlfriend before?

This...

kind of...

ended it.

I can't believe I fancied a version

of Bilal that doesn't even exist.

Disappointment is a part of dating.

First cut is the deepest.

The rest is just salt in that original gaping wound.

Was that meant to make me feel better?

Oh, no.

Former situationship, three o'clock.

And one o'clock. I'll be back.

Could I...

Get a drag?

Cheers.

What are you doing out here alone?

My friend's inside.

It's not my scene.

Where'd you rather be?

In bed.

I like a woman who knows what she wants.

Oh, Jesus, I meant literally sleeping.

Yeah.

Tragically, that sounds just as good.

Are we old?

What's your name?

What's your name?

Guess.

Nothing from Bilal today?

No, nothing.

Maybe he's busy doing more important things.

Send him a message, wishing him well.

You want Bilal to think our precious daughter is messaging men

at midnight, wishing them well?

Relax.

Bilal will be in touch.

How was the film? Better than I expected.

Huh...

Are you worried about leaving us?

One step at a time, Dadija.

Hey.

Good night.

I'm surprised you wanted to meet again.

What if this gets back to your parents?

I kiss someone else.

I'm sorry.

Please don't tell anyone. Zo, it's fine.

Honestly, you haven't done anything wrong.

I promise.

I still want to marry you if you still want to marry me.

I don't know what I'm doing or supposed to do.

Work are throwing me... us, an engagement party.

I can't tell them the truth.

They won't understand.

I understand.

I've never dated anyone before.

I figured.

You've never been curious.

Of course I have.

But I...

never questioned how our parents traditions would play out here.

Why don't we make our own tradition?

I want my future wife to be happy.

I don't want my wife to feel like she had a life not lived

because that life will be ours.

What are you suggesting?

Maybe you should date other people.

As long as you stop once we're married

and you never tell me about it.

It's your decision.

Sounds like he's just not that into you.

No, I think it's considerate.

He's empowering me.

These are next-level mind games, though.

Your fiancé wants to move to another country after you're married.

Without you,

he's actively encouraging you to see other people.

And what about his ex?

I don't trust him.

You don't know him.

Neither do you.

Fair enough.

Look, we don't have to do this if you don't want to.

I think I want to.

Attracting a man's attention is easy.

Be warm and friendly, but not too confident.

You don't want to be intimidating.

At the same time, don't be too nice.

You don't want to be a pushover.

Okay. Don't be afraid to be disagreeable.

You have to show them you have a brain,

that you're not afraid to speak your mind.

Be careful, though. Don't just challenge them for the of it.

They might think you're starting.

Anything else?

Disregard any flattery or promises a man makes.

The truth lies in his actions.

That it?

Take off your ring.

That's hilarious.

Are you okay?

Trust me, be funny.

Jesus.

No, no, no, no, no, I am all for equality.

So... em...

He's okay.

I guess.

Stop staring.

If you like him, you have to act like you don't.

If you ask for your number, he wants to hang out again.

And if he asks for your Snapchat,

he'll probably just send you a picture of his privacy later.

No philtre.

I am telling you, I have had so many Snapchats.

Fuck flirting.

I'm going to do this my way.

Have you lost your mind?

No, I found it.

You can't bring Bilal to your engagement party.

I can bring my own fiancé to our engagement party.

Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds?

It's not how we do things.

Who is we, Dad?

My world is different to yours and Mom's.

No, it's not happening. It's too risky.

What's so risky about it?

meets me and pulls the I'm a plug,

or I decide it has no future.

This is my life, and he should be thankful to be a part of it.

I need him to show me that he's the one.

Before I marry him, I need to see how he slots in, work included.

I have a career, too.

What...

What if he breaks your heart?

He can't, Mum.

He doesn't have it.

Okay.

We just want you to be happy.

Where did you meet William, Zo? Who?

Your soul mate.

Bil with one L.

Oh, our parents knew each other,

and they thought we might get on.

So...

So?

So the rest is history.

Here we are.

Great.

Another round?

He's here, finally.

No, that's not him.

And that's low-key racist.

Okay, racist.

I think not. Presumptuous, maybe.

Your fiancé is Indian, right?

Pakistani.

Basically the same thing.

Okay, this is beginning to feel like a HR issue.

I thought you never leave your bed.

I don't.

I had a work thing I couldn't get out of.

You're not a fan of his Zo and Bil?

She's amazing.

He didn't show.

Want to walk me to the dart?

Yeah.

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