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1
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:06,760
Woo-woo!
2
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:10,520
It's lease-signing day, a treat
we only get once a century.
3
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:12,280
The next one will be in paradise.
4
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:14,760
Do you think there'll be leases
or contracts in paradise?
5
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,680
Yeah, it's paradise.
6
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,600
Joe, thank you for renewing.
7
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,600
Oh, I'm, uh, Matt. Joe's just
coming.
8
00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,680
Oh, right. So who's
the freeholder, then?
9
00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:25,360
Joint freeholders, we're married.
10
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,600
Oh, nice. And Joe is short for
Joanna, is it?
11
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,160
Sorry I'm late.
12
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,960
Christ's wounds.
13
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,880
CLEARS THROAT
Samson, they are a lovely Christian couple.
14
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,800
They were married in a Methodist
Church.
15
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,720
Gets worse. I'm not signing!
16
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,640
Well, that, that could be interpreted
as a little bit of a hate crime.
17
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,080
Meh.
18
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,400
If we don't sign them, we'd have no
place of worship.
19
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,920
In the short term, I don't even know
where we'd go.
20
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,520
DOOR SHUTS
21
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,440
Guess who's going up in the world?
22
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,040
Shoes off in the living room, David.
23
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,560
Oh, you mean the church, Fiona?
24
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,080
David, what have you done?
25
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,360
So, without consulting me,
you've agreed to host 80 people.
26
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,880
This house can hold 80 people.
27
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,920
Mm-hm. All we have to do is
jettison everything we own.
28
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,760
That's the spirit.
29
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,000
What if it rains?
30
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,920
Forecast says 40% chance.
31
00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,960
I like those odds.
THUNDER RUMBLES
32
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,400
And you didn't ask Samson
why we lost the church?
33
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,040
Look, son and wife,
34
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,960
if the Lewis house becomes a church,
we're important,
35
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,440
we matter...we're loved.
36
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,600
David, tell me you didn't do
this just to feel loved.
37
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,240
Rachel, is the minibar holy yet?
38
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:50,720
I put a tablecloth on it.
39
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:52,200
Next time, just say, "Yes."
40
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,360
Now, go and help Aaron turn your room
into a creche for the under-fives.
41
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,440
Dad, can I just get your signature
on something?
42
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,560
Sure. David, we're going to read
that.
43
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,440
I think it's very clear I wasn't.
44
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,640
Parental approval...
45
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:10,840
..for Jebediah.
46
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:16,760
So if I sign this, you two will
officially be courter and courtee?
47
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,720
Why don't we just call it
boyfriend and girlfriend?
48
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,960
I'll be vetting him thoroughly. Yes.
49
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,560
Your mother and I will be riddling
him with questions.
50
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,520
Questions to the ribs, questions to
the eyes.
51
00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,400
Marriage is for eternity, Rachel.
52
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,480
Mm-hm. Get that decision wrong
and, oh boy, are you stuck.
53
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:37,760
Think about it. Every day trapped in
a prison of your own making.
54
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:38,960
SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYS
55
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,000
Inert in a mental rocking chair,
56
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:46,520
until you realise your whole life
has been one long death rattle.
57
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,400
And you're grateful when the gurgles
finally stop.
58
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,560
OK, let's go and fix the kitchen.
59
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,800
There's a cookbook in there
with a dried aubergine on the cover,
60
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,920
and that will not fly.
61
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,880
Moved the fragiles to the garage.
62
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:04,080
Only broke three glasses,
63
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,440
if I maintain that rate when I move
them back,
64
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:07,720
we'll be in a good spot.
65
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,160
David, what's this?
66
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:11,640
That?
67
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,000
The pie? Mm.
68
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,120
I made it.
69
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,720
MYSTERIOUS MUSIC
You're claiming you cooked this?
70
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,000
You seared the mince...
71
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,520
..mashed the potato...
72
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,000
..turned on the oven?
73
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:33,240
Yes.
74
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,720
Turn on the oven now.
75
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,120
That's the dishwasher. Mm-hm.
76
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,280
KNOCK ON THE WINDOW
Hey, guys. Lovely church you got there.
77
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,840
Can you open it?
78
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:50,200
CAR HORNS BEEP
No, no, no. No parking here.
79
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,880
But as far as I'm concerned,
the neighbours' lawns are fair game.
80
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,760
David, does your house
church have a confessional?
81
00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:00,760
I have some, um, intimate things
I need to release.
82
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,640
Well, the confessional is my
13-year-old son's bedroom.
83
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,520
Do not release anything in there.
84
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:09,040
Uh, FYI, the new confessional, not
fully soundproofed,
85
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,240
so no listening in from the queue.
86
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,640
Though I guess you could just
listen in,
87
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,560
then confess to it once
it's your turn.
88
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,280
Come on, Joel, let's hear
those secrets.
89
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,760
Hello. Morning.
90
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,640
Good morning. Hey. Hey.
91
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,760
Brother, sister,
92
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,600
just brought a small church-warming
gift to say thank you.
93
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,720
Oh, it's engraved. Oh, my goodness.
94
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,480
Rachel, your match is a gentleman.
95
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,680
No, Dad, my match is over there.
96
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,880
Oh, yes, not the pleasant boy who
brought the thoughtful gift,
97
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,240
but the tattooed man-boy groaning
under the weight of his medallions.
98
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:45,880
Hello. Mm.
99
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:49,040
Hey, I'm Jebediah, but please,
call me Jeb.
100
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,560
No, I don't think I will.
101
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,520
Jeb's necklaces are actually
all symbols of his faith.
102
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,000
Powerful symbols, yeah.
103
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,160
That's Catholic, that's Buddhist,
104
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,800
and that's a saint
who doesn't exist.
105
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:02,160
Well, I feel like all faiths
have part of the picture, right?
106
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,200
Not a good start, Rachel.
107
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,960
God's house should have things
like a font and a chapel.
108
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,320
Not my dad's big bag of spoons.
109
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,880
Are they special collector's spoons?
110
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,600
No. Huh.
111
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,280
We need to make this right.
Walk with me.
112
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,360
You and your sister sleep
in the same room?
113
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,920
This is my parents' room.
114
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,720
Ah.
115
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:40,800
Yeah, that's much worse.
116
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,200
We should be alone in here,
117
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,440
but the confessional is right
next door.
118
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,960
JOEL: I'm feeling very, uh, pent up
since Samson swore me to chastity.
119
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,760
I, I actually had a wet dream
about Elder Samson.
120
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,640
ABIJAH: Ah, Joel, that's
completely normal.
121
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,160
Right! Um, what do you know?
122
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,200
Samson is claiming there was an
unresolvable administrative error,
123
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,800
but he won't reveal what it is,
124
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,520
or even which elder attended as
witness.
125
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,000
If we find that elder and make him
talk...
126
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,600
Then we can launch a no-confidence
vote.
127
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:08,960
It shouldn't come to that, Aaron.
128
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,520
You know, we can handle
this delicately.
129
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,720
ABIJAH: I still feel so stressed,
I did nothing at that lease meeting.
130
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,440
JOEL: Abijah, isn't this supposed
to be my confession?
131
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,280
ABIJAH: Yeah, but who does Abijah
confess to?
132
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,080
Abijah. We can break Abijah.
133
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,840
Break? This is war, Andrew.
134
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,560
Some men break.
135
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,560
Usually men like Abijah.
136
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,560
Is there nowhere more private
we could talk?
137
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,240
There is no private now, Rachel.
138
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,600
Your father killed it.
139
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,520
And I'd do it again, for God.
140
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,160
We could leave the house. And miss
church?
141
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,720
Mm, outdoor Bible study's going
well.
142
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,880
I don't know what they're teaching
them, but it looks good.
143
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,880
I'm gonna lock this so the kids
don't interrupt.
144
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,560
Relax, Rachel.
DOOR SHUTS
145
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:51,600
This is just a chilled-out,
getting-to-know-you chat, right?
146
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:52,920
No, you're being evaluated.
147
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,400
And if you fall short, your
relationship will end.
148
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,760
Oh, cool stuff.
149
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,720
Jeb, this family is a unit.
150
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,680
And that means if you want to date my
daughter, you need to date me.
151
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,240
Dad! David. He has to date me,
Fiona.
152
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,240
Question one to evaluate
your suitability as a husband,
153
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,920
how do you tell if a VHS
tape is authentic?
154
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,680
The hologram sticker.
155
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,400
OK. The boy has promise.
156
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,240
David, I'm going to need you to be
quiet, immediately. Mm.
157
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,480
So, Jeb...
158
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,880
..what are your core
religious values?
159
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,200
First and foremost...
160
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,320
..forgiveness.
161
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:36,800
Matthew 18:21, "Jesus said not
to forgive a sinner seven times,
162
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:40,120
"but seven times seven times."
163
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,280
That's just an unimaginable number.
164
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,680
The quote is 70 times seven.
165
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,200
Sister, if that were true,
my tattoo would be wrong.
166
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,440
Jeb actually studies the Bible
very diligently.
167
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,120
Is that right? Oh, yeah.
168
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,560
And one thing I've noticed...
169
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,160
..is mountains.
170
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:03,320
Mount Sinai, Mount Arafat. Ararat.
So many. It's a pattern.
171
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:04,680
You've named two mountains.
172
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,320
And people talk about sex
positivity,
173
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,200
but Christ's own mother
was a sex worker.
174
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,240
Uh, no, no, no, that's
Mary Magdalene.
175
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:14,960
Different Mary.
176
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,080
She was his mother, Rachel.
177
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,520
No, Jesus's mother was a virgin,
wasn't she?
178
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,120
Well, who's to say a virgin can't be
a prostitute,
179
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,240
with OnlyFans and that?
180
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,440
OK, I think I've heard enough,
thank you.
181
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,480
Ooh, can I ask my follow-up question?
182
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,720
Did video technology peak
with the VCR?
183
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,800
And given that it did, why?
184
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,520
KNOCK ON THE WINDOW
Can you unlock the door?
185
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:39,160
I'm not supposed to get
these children wet.
186
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,800
Mum, you can't just dismiss him
because he got
187
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,160
a few questions wrong.
188
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,280
I'm not, I'm dismissing him
189
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,160
because he has 50 words tattooed on
his body,
190
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,920
and they seem to be the only
words he knows.
191
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,240
It's my duty to ensure you end
up with someone compatible.
192
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:53,280
Like you did.
193
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:03,400
Look, I know you wanted me to pick
Josh, but I didn't.
194
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:04,920
I picked Jeb.
195
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,520
WHISPERS: Don't think about her,
Josh.
196
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:13,080
I'm gonna give you so many
kids...
197
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,120
..all girls.
198
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,880
Well, you can't really guarantee...
WHISPERS: All girls.
199
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,120
And I name the worst one Rachel.
200
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:27,560
Fiona, Jeb's mountain thing, did we
dismiss that too early?
201
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,280
David, whatever anyone says about
us, we're solid, right?
202
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,760
We have trust.
203
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,320
We have loyalty.
204
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,560
Of course.
205
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,960
David, hi.
206
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,640
Did you enjoy my pie?
207
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,040
I was wondering if I could
have my dish back.
208
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,720
ABIJAH SIGHS
OK, anyone listening in on that,
209
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:56,280
please remember, he's a family
man with a family business.
210
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,160
Aaron, do you want to confess
or access your bedroom?
211
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,320
We need you to fetch some
squash from the garage.
212
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:03,920
Can it wait? I have a queue of
troubled souls here...
213
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,880
Samson's asking. Please don't tell
him I hesitated.
214
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,600
Hello, squash, my old friend.
215
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:21,600
Abijah, if you could do us the
kindness of taking a seat.
216
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:22,920
Us?
217
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:23,960
Yes...
218
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,440
..us.
219
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,000
It was an innocent exchange of pie.
220
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,560
There were no illicit intentions.
221
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,440
Ah.
222
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,400
TRAY BANGS
David, what are you doing?
223
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,320
Shatterproof, David. I always use
shatterproof.
224
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,760
What in God's name is that?
225
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,000
Well, that's Sharpie.
226
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,440
Could've been there for years.
227
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,240
Maude, that message is old, right?
228
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,360
Not particularly.
229
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,160
Mm-hm. So when did you write it?
230
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,480
When I made the pie.
231
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:06,040
OK, so who was the message for?
232
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,800
The person I made the pie for.
233
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,520
David, could I ask you to leave?
234
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:12,680
Fiona, I'd love to.
235
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,120
Tell me, Maude...
236
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,560
..what business do you have making
my husband a pie?
237
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,840
Well, I noticed he wasn't getting
any at home.
238
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,320
PENSIVE MUSIC
239
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:30,760
Sorry, I'll try that again.
240
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,960
Maude, I think we got off
on the wrong foot.
241
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,040
I felt like you were making improper
advances to my husband,
242
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,520
but I'm sure I've misread.
243
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,840
No, Fiona, I think
you're a very astute woman.
244
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:49,640
I noticed you have a little business
selling trinkets online.
245
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:50,720
It's very cute.
246
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:57,080
What is it about your home that
you're so desperate to break out of?
247
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,680
They say men defined history, Fiona,
248
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:07,560
but when Caesar came home after a
long day at the Curia Hostilia,
249
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,000
who did he ask for fresh linens?
250
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,440
WHISPERS: His wife.
251
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,880
If the emperor answers to the woman
who pours his bathwater,
252
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,800
who really ruled the Julio-Claudian
dynasty?
253
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,800
There's nothing powerful about
waiting on a man hand and foot.
254
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,680
So why were you worried
about my pie?
255
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,040
David is a very special man.
256
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,360
So pliant, so malleable.
257
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,880
Oh, he'd make a great emperor.
258
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,520
Stay away from my husband.
259
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:42,080
You think your kitchen is
a prison, Fiona?
260
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,960
Well, I'm the prison warden.
261
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,440
WHISPERS: And you're out past
curfew.
262
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:56,400
Take your dish out of my kitchen,
you adulterous, pie-making bitch.
263
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,400
Um, sorry, do you have any kitchen
roll?
264
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,160
Uh, a child threw up in the creche,
265
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,720
and it's caused something
of a...a chain reaction.
266
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:11,120
Josh, I...I just wanted to say that
I'm sorry.
267
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:16,480
What I was saying was,
I'm sorry that...
268
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,720
SINGING OUT OF TUNE
# Joy of man's desire... #
269
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,800
OK. I know somewhere we can talk.
270
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,040
It's not ideal, but it is...an
airing cupboard.
271
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,760
Look, I'm sorry you heard me
earlier.
272
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:34,160
It's OK. I do need to come to
terms with you picking Jeb.
273
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,880
Having it screamed at me
might speed that up.
274
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,240
Did he make a good impression?
275
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,360
Well, my mum hates him,
so that's a big plus.
276
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,080
Right.
277
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:48,600
Look, he said some dumb
stuff, but he's different.
278
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,560
I think he'll let me do what I want,
279
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,120
let me work without me having to...
Leave the order?
280
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,600
I didn't say that.
281
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,520
What if I want those things
for you too?
282
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:58,960
With your dad over your shoulder?
283
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000
There's more to me than my dad.
284
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,000
I should go.
285
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,720
Mm. Sweet knit, sister.
286
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,680
Why did we lose the church, Abijah?
287
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,160
You got a big bag of spoons in
here.
288
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,120
Abijah! Samson couldn't sign the
lease.
289
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,240
DYNAMIC MUSIC
290
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,000
Couldn't or wouldn't? I...
291
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,520
Before you answer that, Abijah...
SWITCH CLICKS
292
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,440
Ah, so bright.
293
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,280
Samson, uh, disagreed with our
freeholder.
294
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,120
What about?
295
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:37,640
Who, who can say?
296
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,560
What's the freeholder like?
297
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,240
Smartly dressed, friendly.
298
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,480
Keep talking.
299
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,200
He was...he was there with his
husband.
300
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,480
Can I just say, I tried to stand
up to Samson,
301
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,200
I begged for him to sign that lease?
302
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,320
Would you stand up to him
again in front of everyone?
303
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,280
This is the worst day of my life.
304
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,040
Thank you, Abijah.
305
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,240
You may go now.
GARAGE DOOR CLICKS AND WHIRS
306
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000
ABIJAH CLEARS THROAT
307
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,280
See ya. Hmm.
308
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,320
ABIJAH GRUNTS
309
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:31,800
Oh, the driveway's cold and
wet.
310
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,800
Well, I'm disappointed, but not
surprised.
311
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,520
We should launch a no-confidence
vote.
312
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,320
Aaron, let's not be rash.
313
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,720
Jesus said, "Turn the other cheek."
314
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,720
He also flipped the tables
in the temple.
315
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:43,880
There's a time for forgiveness
316
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,440
and there's a time to send in the
locusts.
317
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,280
Let me handle this, discreetly.
318
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:51,240
If that fails? Then I'll source you
a thousand locusts.
319
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,720
A thousand? That's nowhere near
enough.
320
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,200
A thousand sounds like a lot.
321
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,760
A swarm is 40 to 80 million.
322
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,960
Well, you've taught me something
today. GARAGE DOOR BANGS
323
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,760
ABIJAH GRUNTS
Sorry, guys,
324
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,880
I think I left my keys in your
black-site garage prison.
325
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:06,600
See ya in a bit.
326
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,560
Mum, I'm sorry for what I said
before about you and Dad.
327
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,240
You'll be wanting your form,
no doubt.
328
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,920
You signed it?
329
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,440
Well, I realised no relationship
is perfect.
330
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:26,880
One minute things are bearable
331
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,720
and the next you're staring at a
pie dish
332
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,960
from a homewrecking spider woman.
WATER SPLASHES
333
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:33,560
Ah!
334
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,560
Fiona, are you decent?
335
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,240
I know you don't like me seeing
you with your elbows uncovered.
336
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,800
Hello, David. Maude...
337
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,800
..you're on my wife's bed.
338
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,800
Yes, I sensed it was hers.
339
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,840
Two single beds and nary
a mark on the floor.
340
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,800
I'd wager it's been quite some time
since you pushed these two together.
341
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,200
WHISPERS: This needs to end.
342
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,520
What needs to end?
343
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:08,040
You, the pie, everything.
344
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:09,800
I ate that pie under false
pretences.
345
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,240
I thought it was a platonic pie.
346
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,480
But now I see your intentions
were...
347
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,040
..impure.
348
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,360
But you did eat it, David.
349
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,400
And you enjoyed it.
350
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,800
That pie is still inside you now...
351
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,160
..feeding you...
352
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,760
..nourishing your bones,
353
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,080
nourishing those huntsman's bones.
354
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,920
There was quite a lot of dairy
in the mash. Mm-hm.
355
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,160
Yeah, it's been going great.
356
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,800
Real physical sense of community.
357
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,080
Uh, just a few question marks
358
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,920
over why you didn't host it at your
house.
359
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,720
My house is far too small for this.
360
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,800
Cos the order account just got
charged
361
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,720
for 5,000 terracotta floor tiles.
362
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,840
Yes, those tiles are for my
small house.
363
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,120
Now shut up and show me the altar.
364
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,720
Ah, here we are, the sacred
zone,
365
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,920
uh, at the interface where two
wallpapers meet.
366
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,040
Remove the cat. Oh, it's a godly
cat.
367
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,280
Look at those clouds.
368
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,640
It has the devil's eyes.
369
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:10,840
You'll never see it again.
370
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,440
Right.
371
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,960
What are they doing here?
372
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,360
Esteemed members of the order,
I bring good tidings.
373
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,640
The administrative error Samson
claimed to be unresolvable
374
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,000
has now being resolved.
375
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,560
We have our church back.
376
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,720
GROANS: Oh.
377
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:35,600
Ah. All that remains is for Samson
to, uh, sign on the dotted line,
378
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,320
as it were.
379
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:38,440
Now, does anyone have a pen?
380
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,480
Absolutely, Andrew.
381
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,720
He needed a pen.
382
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,960
There's a mistake here.
383
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,760
It says the price has gone
up by 10%.
384
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,120
No mistake.
385
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,760
We've booked a second honeymoon
with a KING-size bed.
386
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,720
Very important there's a king-size
bed.
387
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:56,760
Mm.
388
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:04,600
You'll fit right in with them...
389
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,920
..in hell.
WHISPERS: Come on.
390
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,680
Aaron? Aar...
391
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,920
I hereby call a no-confidence vote
392
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,600
in the leadership of
Chief Elder Samson.
393
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:23,360
Wow.
OK, uh, we're gonna go now.
394
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,440
Oh, yeah.
395
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,280
Nice to see you again.
396
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,360
Happy honeymoon. Hope it's a nice
bed.
397
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,320
You think you can take me
on, little boy?
398
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,360
You'd need an elder to vouch for
that.
399
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,480
Any elders wanna raise
their hands?
400
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,840
Abijah, if you raise your hand,
I will destroy you.
401
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,960
Samson, my hands are below my belt
line and I would not risk
402
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,000
raising them any further.
403
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:50,600
Anyone?
404
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,400
Didn't think so.
405
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:57,800
Tatty-bye, then.
406
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,960
CHURCHGOERS GASPING
407
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,760
The vote will take place
within two weeks.
408
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,680
Good luck.
409
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,120
Well, we didn't quite get an official
service, but all told,
410
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,200
a good day, I felt.
411
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,480
A 13-year-old launched a coup
against me.
412
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,880
Yes, and I can't be blamed for that.
413
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,720
Hey, mate.
414
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,840
Crazy day, right?
415
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,960
Yeah.
416
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,640
I saw you with Rachel earlier.
417
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,600
Uh, yeah, we, we were just...
418
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,520
Yeah, I don't wanna see you do
that anymore.
419
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,240
She picked me, you guys are over.
Deal with it.
420
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:35,960
Everything all right?
421
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,840
Everything's great!
422
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,360
Um, next stages. Can't wait.
423
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,280
Fiona, that woman is bad news.
424
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,200
But I told her, "No more!"
425
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,320
Thank you for hosting, David.
426
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,000
Lovely to see inside your bedroom.
427
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,800
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
428
00:20:53,850 --> 00:20:58,400
Repair and Synchronization by
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