All language subtitles for Everyone Else Burns s02e03.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:06,760 Woo-woo! 2 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:10,520 It's lease-signing day, a treat we only get once a century. 3 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:12,280 The next one will be in paradise. 4 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:14,760 Do you think there'll be leases or contracts in paradise? 5 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,680 Yeah, it's paradise. 6 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,600 Joe, thank you for renewing. 7 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,600 Oh, I'm, uh, Matt. Joe's just coming. 8 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,680 Oh, right. So who's the freeholder, then? 9 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:25,360 Joint freeholders, we're married. 10 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,600 Oh, nice. And Joe is short for Joanna, is it? 11 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,160 Sorry I'm late. 12 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,960 Christ's wounds. 13 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,880 CLEARS THROAT Samson, they are a lovely Christian couple. 14 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,800 They were married in a Methodist Church. 15 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,720 Gets worse. I'm not signing! 16 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,640 Well, that, that could be interpreted as a little bit of a hate crime. 17 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,080 Meh. 18 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,400 If we don't sign them, we'd have no place of worship. 19 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,920 In the short term, I don't even know where we'd go. 20 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,520 DOOR SHUTS 21 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,440 Guess who's going up in the world? 22 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,040 Shoes off in the living room, David. 23 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,560 Oh, you mean the church, Fiona? 24 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,080 David, what have you done? 25 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,360 So, without consulting me, you've agreed to host 80 people. 26 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,880 This house can hold 80 people. 27 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,920 Mm-hm. All we have to do is jettison everything we own. 28 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,760 That's the spirit. 29 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,000 What if it rains? 30 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,920 Forecast says 40% chance. 31 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,960 I like those odds. THUNDER RUMBLES 32 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,400 And you didn't ask Samson why we lost the church? 33 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,040 Look, son and wife, 34 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,960 if the Lewis house becomes a church, we're important, 35 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,440 we matter...we're loved. 36 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,600 David, tell me you didn't do this just to feel loved. 37 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,240 Rachel, is the minibar holy yet? 38 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:50,720 I put a tablecloth on it. 39 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:52,200 Next time, just say, "Yes." 40 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,360 Now, go and help Aaron turn your room into a creche for the under-fives. 41 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,440 Dad, can I just get your signature on something? 42 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,560 Sure. David, we're going to read that. 43 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,440 I think it's very clear I wasn't. 44 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,640 Parental approval... 45 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:10,840 ..for Jebediah. 46 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:16,760 So if I sign this, you two will officially be courter and courtee? 47 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,720 Why don't we just call it boyfriend and girlfriend? 48 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,960 I'll be vetting him thoroughly. Yes. 49 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,560 Your mother and I will be riddling him with questions. 50 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,520 Questions to the ribs, questions to the eyes. 51 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,400 Marriage is for eternity, Rachel. 52 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,480 Mm-hm. Get that decision wrong and, oh boy, are you stuck. 53 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:37,760 Think about it. Every day trapped in a prison of your own making. 54 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:38,960 SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYS 55 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,000 Inert in a mental rocking chair, 56 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:46,520 until you realise your whole life has been one long death rattle. 57 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,400 And you're grateful when the gurgles finally stop. 58 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,560 OK, let's go and fix the kitchen. 59 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,800 There's a cookbook in there with a dried aubergine on the cover, 60 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,920 and that will not fly. 61 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,880 Moved the fragiles to the garage. 62 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:04,080 Only broke three glasses, 63 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,440 if I maintain that rate when I move them back, 64 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:07,720 we'll be in a good spot. 65 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,160 David, what's this? 66 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:11,640 That? 67 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,000 The pie? Mm. 68 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,120 I made it. 69 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,720 MYSTERIOUS MUSIC You're claiming you cooked this? 70 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,000 You seared the mince... 71 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,520 ..mashed the potato... 72 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,000 ..turned on the oven? 73 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:33,240 Yes. 74 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,720 Turn on the oven now. 75 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,120 That's the dishwasher. Mm-hm. 76 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,280 KNOCK ON THE WINDOW Hey, guys. Lovely church you got there. 77 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,840 Can you open it? 78 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:50,200 CAR HORNS BEEP No, no, no. No parking here. 79 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,880 But as far as I'm concerned, the neighbours' lawns are fair game. 80 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,760 David, does your house church have a confessional? 81 00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:00,760 I have some, um, intimate things I need to release. 82 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,640 Well, the confessional is my 13-year-old son's bedroom. 83 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,520 Do not release anything in there. 84 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:09,040 Uh, FYI, the new confessional, not fully soundproofed, 85 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,240 so no listening in from the queue. 86 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,640 Though I guess you could just listen in, 87 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,560 then confess to it once it's your turn. 88 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,280 Come on, Joel, let's hear those secrets. 89 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,760 Hello. Morning. 90 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,640 Good morning. Hey. Hey. 91 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,760 Brother, sister, 92 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,600 just brought a small church-warming gift to say thank you. 93 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,720 Oh, it's engraved. Oh, my goodness. 94 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,480 Rachel, your match is a gentleman. 95 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,680 No, Dad, my match is over there. 96 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,880 Oh, yes, not the pleasant boy who brought the thoughtful gift, 97 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,240 but the tattooed man-boy groaning under the weight of his medallions. 98 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:45,880 Hello. Mm. 99 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:49,040 Hey, I'm Jebediah, but please, call me Jeb. 100 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,560 No, I don't think I will. 101 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,520 Jeb's necklaces are actually all symbols of his faith. 102 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,000 Powerful symbols, yeah. 103 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,160 That's Catholic, that's Buddhist, 104 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,800 and that's a saint who doesn't exist. 105 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:02,160 Well, I feel like all faiths have part of the picture, right? 106 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,200 Not a good start, Rachel. 107 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,960 God's house should have things like a font and a chapel. 108 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,320 Not my dad's big bag of spoons. 109 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,880 Are they special collector's spoons? 110 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,600 No. Huh. 111 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,280 We need to make this right. Walk with me. 112 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,360 You and your sister sleep in the same room? 113 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,920 This is my parents' room. 114 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,720 Ah. 115 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:40,800 Yeah, that's much worse. 116 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,200 We should be alone in here, 117 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,440 but the confessional is right next door. 118 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,960 JOEL: I'm feeling very, uh, pent up since Samson swore me to chastity. 119 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,760 I, I actually had a wet dream about Elder Samson. 120 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,640 ABIJAH: Ah, Joel, that's completely normal. 121 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,160 Right! Um, what do you know? 122 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,200 Samson is claiming there was an unresolvable administrative error, 123 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,800 but he won't reveal what it is, 124 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,520 or even which elder attended as witness. 125 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,000 If we find that elder and make him talk... 126 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,600 Then we can launch a no-confidence vote. 127 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:08,960 It shouldn't come to that, Aaron. 128 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,520 You know, we can handle this delicately. 129 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,720 ABIJAH: I still feel so stressed, I did nothing at that lease meeting. 130 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,440 JOEL: Abijah, isn't this supposed to be my confession? 131 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,280 ABIJAH: Yeah, but who does Abijah confess to? 132 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,080 Abijah. We can break Abijah. 133 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,840 Break? This is war, Andrew. 134 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,560 Some men break. 135 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,560 Usually men like Abijah. 136 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,560 Is there nowhere more private we could talk? 137 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,240 There is no private now, Rachel. 138 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,600 Your father killed it. 139 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,520 And I'd do it again, for God. 140 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,160 We could leave the house. And miss church? 141 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,720 Mm, outdoor Bible study's going well. 142 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,880 I don't know what they're teaching them, but it looks good. 143 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,880 I'm gonna lock this so the kids don't interrupt. 144 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,560 Relax, Rachel. DOOR SHUTS 145 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:51,600 This is just a chilled-out, getting-to-know-you chat, right? 146 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:52,920 No, you're being evaluated. 147 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,400 And if you fall short, your relationship will end. 148 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,760 Oh, cool stuff. 149 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,720 Jeb, this family is a unit. 150 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,680 And that means if you want to date my daughter, you need to date me. 151 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,240 Dad! David. He has to date me, Fiona. 152 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,240 Question one to evaluate your suitability as a husband, 153 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,920 how do you tell if a VHS tape is authentic? 154 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,680 The hologram sticker. 155 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,400 OK. The boy has promise. 156 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,240 David, I'm going to need you to be quiet, immediately. Mm. 157 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,480 So, Jeb... 158 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,880 ..what are your core religious values? 159 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,200 First and foremost... 160 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,320 ..forgiveness. 161 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:36,800 Matthew 18:21, "Jesus said not to forgive a sinner seven times, 162 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:40,120 "but seven times seven times." 163 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,280 That's just an unimaginable number. 164 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,680 The quote is 70 times seven. 165 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,200 Sister, if that were true, my tattoo would be wrong. 166 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,440 Jeb actually studies the Bible very diligently. 167 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,120 Is that right? Oh, yeah. 168 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,560 And one thing I've noticed... 169 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,160 ..is mountains. 170 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:03,320 Mount Sinai, Mount Arafat. Ararat. So many. It's a pattern. 171 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:04,680 You've named two mountains. 172 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,320 And people talk about sex positivity, 173 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,200 but Christ's own mother was a sex worker. 174 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,240 Uh, no, no, no, that's Mary Magdalene. 175 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:14,960 Different Mary. 176 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,080 She was his mother, Rachel. 177 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,520 No, Jesus's mother was a virgin, wasn't she? 178 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,120 Well, who's to say a virgin can't be a prostitute, 179 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,240 with OnlyFans and that? 180 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,440 OK, I think I've heard enough, thank you. 181 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,480 Ooh, can I ask my follow-up question? 182 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,720 Did video technology peak with the VCR? 183 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,800 And given that it did, why? 184 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,520 KNOCK ON THE WINDOW Can you unlock the door? 185 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:39,160 I'm not supposed to get these children wet. 186 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,800 Mum, you can't just dismiss him because he got 187 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,160 a few questions wrong. 188 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,280 I'm not, I'm dismissing him 189 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,160 because he has 50 words tattooed on his body, 190 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,920 and they seem to be the only words he knows. 191 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,240 It's my duty to ensure you end up with someone compatible. 192 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:53,280 Like you did. 193 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:03,400 Look, I know you wanted me to pick Josh, but I didn't. 194 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:04,920 I picked Jeb. 195 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,520 WHISPERS: Don't think about her, Josh. 196 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:13,080 I'm gonna give you so many kids... 197 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,120 ..all girls. 198 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,880 Well, you can't really guarantee... WHISPERS: All girls. 199 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,120 And I name the worst one Rachel. 200 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:27,560 Fiona, Jeb's mountain thing, did we dismiss that too early? 201 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,280 David, whatever anyone says about us, we're solid, right? 202 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,760 We have trust. 203 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,320 We have loyalty. 204 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,560 Of course. 205 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,960 David, hi. 206 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,640 Did you enjoy my pie? 207 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,040 I was wondering if I could have my dish back. 208 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,720 ABIJAH SIGHS OK, anyone listening in on that, 209 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:56,280 please remember, he's a family man with a family business. 210 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,160 Aaron, do you want to confess or access your bedroom? 211 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,320 We need you to fetch some squash from the garage. 212 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:03,920 Can it wait? I have a queue of troubled souls here... 213 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,880 Samson's asking. Please don't tell him I hesitated. 214 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,600 Hello, squash, my old friend. 215 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:21,600 Abijah, if you could do us the kindness of taking a seat. 216 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:22,920 Us? 217 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:23,960 Yes... 218 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,440 ..us. 219 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,000 It was an innocent exchange of pie. 220 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,560 There were no illicit intentions. 221 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,440 Ah. 222 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,400 TRAY BANGS David, what are you doing? 223 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,320 Shatterproof, David. I always use shatterproof. 224 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,760 What in God's name is that? 225 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,000 Well, that's Sharpie. 226 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,440 Could've been there for years. 227 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,240 Maude, that message is old, right? 228 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,360 Not particularly. 229 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,160 Mm-hm. So when did you write it? 230 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,480 When I made the pie. 231 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:06,040 OK, so who was the message for? 232 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,800 The person I made the pie for. 233 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,520 David, could I ask you to leave? 234 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:12,680 Fiona, I'd love to. 235 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,120 Tell me, Maude... 236 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,560 ..what business do you have making my husband a pie? 237 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,840 Well, I noticed he wasn't getting any at home. 238 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,320 PENSIVE MUSIC 239 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:30,760 Sorry, I'll try that again. 240 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,960 Maude, I think we got off on the wrong foot. 241 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,040 I felt like you were making improper advances to my husband, 242 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,520 but I'm sure I've misread. 243 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,840 No, Fiona, I think you're a very astute woman. 244 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:49,640 I noticed you have a little business selling trinkets online. 245 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:50,720 It's very cute. 246 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:57,080 What is it about your home that you're so desperate to break out of? 247 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,680 They say men defined history, Fiona, 248 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:07,560 but when Caesar came home after a long day at the Curia Hostilia, 249 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,000 who did he ask for fresh linens? 250 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,440 WHISPERS: His wife. 251 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,880 If the emperor answers to the woman who pours his bathwater, 252 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,800 who really ruled the Julio-Claudian dynasty? 253 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,800 There's nothing powerful about waiting on a man hand and foot. 254 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,680 So why were you worried about my pie? 255 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,040 David is a very special man. 256 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,360 So pliant, so malleable. 257 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,880 Oh, he'd make a great emperor. 258 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,520 Stay away from my husband. 259 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:42,080 You think your kitchen is a prison, Fiona? 260 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,960 Well, I'm the prison warden. 261 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,440 WHISPERS: And you're out past curfew. 262 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:56,400 Take your dish out of my kitchen, you adulterous, pie-making bitch. 263 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,400 Um, sorry, do you have any kitchen roll? 264 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,160 Uh, a child threw up in the creche, 265 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,720 and it's caused something of a...a chain reaction. 266 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:11,120 Josh, I...I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. 267 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:16,480 What I was saying was, I'm sorry that... 268 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,720 SINGING OUT OF TUNE # Joy of man's desire... # 269 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,800 OK. I know somewhere we can talk. 270 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,040 It's not ideal, but it is...an airing cupboard. 271 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,760 Look, I'm sorry you heard me earlier. 272 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:34,160 It's OK. I do need to come to terms with you picking Jeb. 273 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,880 Having it screamed at me might speed that up. 274 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,240 Did he make a good impression? 275 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,360 Well, my mum hates him, so that's a big plus. 276 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,080 Right. 277 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:48,600 Look, he said some dumb stuff, but he's different. 278 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,560 I think he'll let me do what I want, 279 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,120 let me work without me having to... Leave the order? 280 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,600 I didn't say that. 281 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,520 What if I want those things for you too? 282 00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:58,960 With your dad over your shoulder? 283 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000 There's more to me than my dad. 284 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,000 I should go. 285 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,720 Mm. Sweet knit, sister. 286 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,680 Why did we lose the church, Abijah? 287 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,160 You got a big bag of spoons in here. 288 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,120 Abijah! Samson couldn't sign the lease. 289 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,240 DYNAMIC MUSIC 290 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,000 Couldn't or wouldn't? I... 291 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,520 Before you answer that, Abijah... SWITCH CLICKS 292 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,440 Ah, so bright. 293 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,280 Samson, uh, disagreed with our freeholder. 294 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,120 What about? 295 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:37,640 Who, who can say? 296 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,560 What's the freeholder like? 297 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,240 Smartly dressed, friendly. 298 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,480 Keep talking. 299 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,200 He was...he was there with his husband. 300 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,480 Can I just say, I tried to stand up to Samson, 301 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,200 I begged for him to sign that lease? 302 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,320 Would you stand up to him again in front of everyone? 303 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,280 This is the worst day of my life. 304 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,040 Thank you, Abijah. 305 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,240 You may go now. GARAGE DOOR CLICKS AND WHIRS 306 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000 ABIJAH CLEARS THROAT 307 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,280 See ya. Hmm. 308 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,320 ABIJAH GRUNTS 309 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:31,800 Oh, the driveway's cold and wet. 310 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,800 Well, I'm disappointed, but not surprised. 311 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,520 We should launch a no-confidence vote. 312 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,320 Aaron, let's not be rash. 313 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,720 Jesus said, "Turn the other cheek." 314 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,720 He also flipped the tables in the temple. 315 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:43,880 There's a time for forgiveness 316 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,440 and there's a time to send in the locusts. 317 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,280 Let me handle this, discreetly. 318 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:51,240 If that fails? Then I'll source you a thousand locusts. 319 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,720 A thousand? That's nowhere near enough. 320 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,200 A thousand sounds like a lot. 321 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,760 A swarm is 40 to 80 million. 322 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,960 Well, you've taught me something today. GARAGE DOOR BANGS 323 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,760 ABIJAH GRUNTS Sorry, guys, 324 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,880 I think I left my keys in your black-site garage prison. 325 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:06,600 See ya in a bit. 326 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,560 Mum, I'm sorry for what I said before about you and Dad. 327 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,240 You'll be wanting your form, no doubt. 328 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,920 You signed it? 329 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,440 Well, I realised no relationship is perfect. 330 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:26,880 One minute things are bearable 331 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,720 and the next you're staring at a pie dish 332 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,960 from a homewrecking spider woman. WATER SPLASHES 333 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:33,560 Ah! 334 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,560 Fiona, are you decent? 335 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,240 I know you don't like me seeing you with your elbows uncovered. 336 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,800 Hello, David. Maude... 337 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,800 ..you're on my wife's bed. 338 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,800 Yes, I sensed it was hers. 339 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,840 Two single beds and nary a mark on the floor. 340 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,800 I'd wager it's been quite some time since you pushed these two together. 341 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,200 WHISPERS: This needs to end. 342 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,520 What needs to end? 343 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:08,040 You, the pie, everything. 344 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:09,800 I ate that pie under false pretences. 345 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,240 I thought it was a platonic pie. 346 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,480 But now I see your intentions were... 347 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,040 ..impure. 348 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,360 But you did eat it, David. 349 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,400 And you enjoyed it. 350 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,800 That pie is still inside you now... 351 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,160 ..feeding you... 352 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,760 ..nourishing your bones, 353 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,080 nourishing those huntsman's bones. 354 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,920 There was quite a lot of dairy in the mash. Mm-hm. 355 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,160 Yeah, it's been going great. 356 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,800 Real physical sense of community. 357 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,080 Uh, just a few question marks 358 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,920 over why you didn't host it at your house. 359 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,720 My house is far too small for this. 360 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,800 Cos the order account just got charged 361 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,720 for 5,000 terracotta floor tiles. 362 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,840 Yes, those tiles are for my small house. 363 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,120 Now shut up and show me the altar. 364 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,720 Ah, here we are, the sacred zone, 365 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,920 uh, at the interface where two wallpapers meet. 366 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,040 Remove the cat. Oh, it's a godly cat. 367 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,280 Look at those clouds. 368 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,640 It has the devil's eyes. 369 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:10,840 You'll never see it again. 370 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,440 Right. 371 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,960 What are they doing here? 372 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,360 Esteemed members of the order, I bring good tidings. 373 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,640 The administrative error Samson claimed to be unresolvable 374 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,000 has now being resolved. 375 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,560 We have our church back. 376 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,720 GROANS: Oh. 377 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:35,600 Ah. All that remains is for Samson to, uh, sign on the dotted line, 378 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,320 as it were. 379 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:38,440 Now, does anyone have a pen? 380 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,480 Absolutely, Andrew. 381 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,720 He needed a pen. 382 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,960 There's a mistake here. 383 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,760 It says the price has gone up by 10%. 384 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,120 No mistake. 385 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,760 We've booked a second honeymoon with a KING-size bed. 386 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,720 Very important there's a king-size bed. 387 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:56,760 Mm. 388 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:04,600 You'll fit right in with them... 389 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,920 ..in hell. WHISPERS: Come on. 390 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,680 Aaron? Aar... 391 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,920 I hereby call a no-confidence vote 392 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,600 in the leadership of Chief Elder Samson. 393 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:23,360 Wow. OK, uh, we're gonna go now. 394 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,440 Oh, yeah. 395 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,280 Nice to see you again. 396 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,360 Happy honeymoon. Hope it's a nice bed. 397 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,320 You think you can take me on, little boy? 398 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,360 You'd need an elder to vouch for that. 399 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,480 Any elders wanna raise their hands? 400 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,840 Abijah, if you raise your hand, I will destroy you. 401 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,960 Samson, my hands are below my belt line and I would not risk 402 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,000 raising them any further. 403 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:50,600 Anyone? 404 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,400 Didn't think so. 405 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:57,800 Tatty-bye, then. 406 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,960 CHURCHGOERS GASPING 407 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,760 The vote will take place within two weeks. 408 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,680 Good luck. 409 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,120 Well, we didn't quite get an official service, but all told, 410 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,200 a good day, I felt. 411 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,480 A 13-year-old launched a coup against me. 412 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,880 Yes, and I can't be blamed for that. 413 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,720 Hey, mate. 414 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,840 Crazy day, right? 415 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,960 Yeah. 416 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,640 I saw you with Rachel earlier. 417 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,600 Uh, yeah, we, we were just... 418 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,520 Yeah, I don't wanna see you do that anymore. 419 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,240 She picked me, you guys are over. Deal with it. 420 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:35,960 Everything all right? 421 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,840 Everything's great! 422 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,360 Um, next stages. Can't wait. 423 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,280 Fiona, that woman is bad news. 424 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,200 But I told her, "No more!" 425 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,320 Thank you for hosting, David. 426 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,000 Lovely to see inside your bedroom. 427 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,800 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 428 00:20:53,850 --> 00:20:58,400 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31952

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