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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,200
Hi. Would you like to talk to me
about God?
2
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:04,320
ECHOING: God...
3
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:05,600
The order says women will be
fulfilled
4
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,840
by making the home their work. And
have you personally found that?
5
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,440
No, but I've only been doing
it 17 years.
6
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,200
I provide for my family.
7
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:13,280
EXPLOSION
8
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,640
HE CRIES OUT
9
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:19,280
I chose you, David. And
you'd choose me again today?
10
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,640
I chose you, David.
11
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,840
Who are those guys? They're off to
hell.
12
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,120
Wow. Nice eight pack. Yeah!
13
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,400
I used to be in the order.
14
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,280
We're making an official request
under the charter to return.
15
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,720
Are you wearing Mary's ring?
16
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,360
Oh, no! Give it back!
17
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,320
SHE RETCHES
Mary!
18
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:39,560
Remain in the order on penance, or
pursue university and be excluded.
19
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,840
MUSIC: Wet Dream
by Wet Leg
20
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:44,880
Hey. Hey, guys. Wait!
21
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:50,040
Hey, did you just come from anatomy?
Yeah. It's incredible, right?
22
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,080
The design of the human body!
23
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,960
And also, we can save lives.
24
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,520
But do you know what's even
better than saving lives?
25
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,560
A fulfilling relationship
with Jesus Christ.
26
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,960
Oh, God. Please... Please take the
leaflet.
27
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,400
Oh, good try, Rachel. Yeah, I
thought you were really bonding
28
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,240
until she...learned your whole deal.
HE CHUCKLES
29
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,800
It's crazy to think, isn't it?
If the chips had fallen differently,
30
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,720
you could have been one of those
students
31
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,600
instead of harassing them with
leaflets.
32
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,400
Am I done? Yes, yes.
300 hours of penance.
33
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,960
Actually, you finished 45 minutes
ago, I just let you keep going
34
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,320
because you were clearly having
so much fun.
35
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:23,520
How do you feel?
36
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,960
I feel renewed, full of purpose.
37
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,000
Aw.
38
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,640
I can tell you really mean that.
39
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,680
Thanks for that, Jesus.
40
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,800
Rachel, you're off penance.
41
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,880
I'm making you a flan to celebrate.
42
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,440
And I'm over beating the eggs
so it doesn't go to your head.
43
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,480
I'm gonna go and...
44
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,720
..Pray. Nobody interrupt me.
45
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:56,320
Harry, you don't think your sister's
spirit is broken, do you?
46
00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:57,600
Not broken.
47
00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:58,960
Crushed, maybe.
48
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,000
VAPE CRACKLES
49
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,120
DOOR SLAMS
Rachel?
50
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,160
You're all done, right?
51
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,720
Yes! Thumbs up.
52
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,400
Big thumbs up.
53
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:08,440
Hmm.
54
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,960
Something smells like...cotton
candy?
55
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,960
Your gel pens, of course.
HE CHUCKLES
56
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,720
You kids and your gel pens!
HE LAUGHS
57
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:20,840
Right...
58
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:21,880
Well...
59
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,680
I'll leave you to it.
SHE SQUEAKS
60
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,080
Something I needed to....
61
00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:29,400
SHE SQUEAKS
62
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,800
Nope. It's gone!
HE CHUCKLES
63
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,760
Bye, Rachel!
64
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:35,800
DOOR CLOSES
65
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,480
Allowed back in church,
isn't that great?
66
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,120
Happy day - celebration.
67
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,240
SHE WHOOPS
68
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,960
Yes, "Whoo!"
69
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,920
It's been great being
treated like a virus.
70
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:00,960
No-one said virus.
71
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,000
RACHEL SCOFFS
72
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,040
Samson said I would
infect everyone with sin.
73
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,800
Yes, but you stayed at home,
and you didn't.
74
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,480
Rachel, I know it's been tough,
but...
75
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,000
..penance is designed
to renew your faith.
76
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,600
Sure, Mum. But
300 hours of preaching?
77
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,800
Who would seriously feel renewed...
78
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:16,840
..by that?
79
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,240
Is that the boy who deflowered you?
80
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,120
He kissed me.
81
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,160
That's what I said.
82
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,760
He looks...
83
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:26,800
..so committed.
84
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:28,840
A changed man.
85
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,800
He's the reason I was on penance -
he told on me to Samson.
86
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,080
Well, thank goodness -
he brought you back to the light.
87
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,240
Thank you for bringing my
daughter back to the light.
88
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:38,600
Blessings.
89
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:40,640
Blessings.
90
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,480
Andrew's on mental health leave.
91
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,120
I wish we didn't call it that.
92
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,960
His wife, Tree, died. His convert
shamed him. His brain broke.
93
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,880
He's the only elder
who can moderate Samson.
94
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,080
With him gone, well...
I don't think Andrew's absence
95
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,120
will make any real difference.
96
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,520
Arranged marriages.
97
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:02,720
Why did we stop doing them?
98
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,480
I don't remember either,
so I'm bringing 'em back!
99
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:12,920
Samson has spoken.
100
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,880
I'm not doing it.
101
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,120
No way.
102
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,160
Before you rule this out, Rachel,
think of the peer pressure.
103
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,720
If you don't do it,
you'll look weird.
104
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,680
What happened to letting me
live my own life?
105
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,920
Nothing happened to it.
It has never been a thing.
106
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,680
David, why don't you go and get
some squash? Ah, thanks, Fiona.
107
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,680
I'm squashed up to the nines. Go
over there, David. Yes, of course.
108
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:31,840
Rachel...
SHE SIGHS
109
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,960
..I accept this is a
bit of a surprise, but...
110
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,560
..try to see the positives.
111
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,920
Who in their right mind would
feel positive about THIS?
112
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:46,560
Wow and wow. Mrs Abijah could
be in this room right now.
113
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:48,600
I mean, maybe it's that lady.
114
00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,800
No, it's not that lady.
115
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:54,520
Didn't know you were so keen to get
married. Oh, I'm not, no. I mean...
116
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,000
I mean, I've dabbled with a
couple of Christian dating apps,
117
00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,400
you know, Adam And Eve Dating,
118
00:04:58,440 --> 00:04:59,560
Righteous Relationships,
119
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,640
Marriage Messiah,
120
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:01,680
Prodigal Passion Project,
121
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:02,920
Tabernacle Time,
122
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,440
Devotion Motion and Kringle, but...
123
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,760
HE LAUGHS
..I'm not keen, no.
124
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:11,400
Uh, Elder, my card doesn't have any
names on it, just the word "atone".
125
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,200
I mean, I thought I have atoned -
126
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,280
I handed out some flyers, a
14-year-old spat at me...
127
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,200
You publicly fornicated
with an unmarried woman.
128
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,360
There's only one way
to cleanse that stain.
129
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,320
Is that...a padlock?
130
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,920
Next!
131
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,920
Well, if it isn't Aaron Lewis.
132
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,200
Aren't you a bit too young to be
paired off with your future wife?
133
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,880
I see you've matched
everyone male-to-female,
134
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,320
and ONLY male-to-female.
135
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,040
Our charter doesn't explicitly
forbid gay marriage...
136
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,640
No, but I do.
137
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:44,800
Next.
138
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,680
Ah, Joshua.
139
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,880
Thanks, Dad. Er, I mean "Elder".
140
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,840
Can I get Abijah's card, too?
141
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,160
I can't seem to find that one.
142
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,760
OK, but he does have
a card, though, right?
143
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,400
If he gets married,
he'd have children.
144
00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:01,160
An unpollinated flower
bears no seed, Joshua.
145
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,120
Are you trying to
end his genetic line?
146
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,160
Next!
147
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,000
I can't believe you
forced me into this.
148
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,680
I'm not forcing you, you're
welcome to resist for a bit.
149
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,920
Look, your father and
I were married in this system.
150
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,400
It's the Lord's way of
guiding us to our soulmates.
151
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,040
Do you really think
Dad's your soulmate?
152
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,960
That of everyone else on earth,
there's no-one better suited to you?
153
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,040
You honestly believe that?
154
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,320
Yes.
155
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:28,440
Because God always puts
our soulmate in our path.
156
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:29,720
HE SIGHS
157
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,160
Hello. Hiya.
158
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,280
I'm just de-diluting the squash.
159
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,160
Is that a 3/1 water-squash ratio?
160
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,400
I like my squash quite viscous. Hmm!
161
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,920
I thought I was the only one.
162
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,360
Oh, nice suit - machine washable.
163
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,840
Never trusted dry cleaners.
164
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,520
"Dry cleaner" is a misnomer. It
means water free, not liquid free.
165
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,800
Precisely. If they were being
accurate, it'd be called...
166
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,440
TOGETHER: ..an anhydrous cleaning.
167
00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,720
What did you say your name was?
168
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,040
David.
169
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,280
David, my God's eternal king.
170
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,600
Known for his good looks...
171
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,200
..and his illicit
dalliance with Bathsheba.
172
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,120
I should...get back to my wife.
173
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:17,560
Oh, don't forget your squash.
174
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,840
Adviser, who's that lady?
175
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,520
That's Maude. New in
from the Prestwich chapter.
176
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,720
She made big waves at
their homemakers club.
177
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:37,600
That woman knows how to
make cheese from scratch.
178
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,760
Urgh, 3/1, too rich for my blood.
179
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,640
Ah, Sister Lewis!
180
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,000
Susie left a letter for you.
181
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,240
Miss Simmonds did?
I'm quite envious, actually,
182
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,360
because the only thing she sent me
is a picture of her new boyfriend
183
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,960
smeared in...edible love chocolate.
184
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,720
And she told me she
was lactose intolerant.
185
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,720
I guess, uh, not for him.
186
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,880
MISS SIMMONDS: Rachel, I've taken
a job at a lovely Scottish school
187
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,120
that doesn't do proper
background checks,
188
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,640
but I thought, before I go,
I'd leave you a heartfelt letter
189
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,960
like we're in Little Women, or
something. God, I hated that film.
190
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,840
It taught little girls
that they can be anything,
191
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,400
and we both know
that just isn't true.
192
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,040
I'm sorry you didn't get to study
medicine at university,
193
00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,680
I'm sure you would have been a great
doctor until you burned out at 35,
194
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,160
but here's a leaflet
for a paramedic course.
195
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,800
It would mean using
your mind to help people,
196
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,400
and, from your volunteering,
197
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,600
you already have valuable
experience in getting paid badly.
198
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,400
Good luck, Rachel. I'll stay
in touch - if I remember.
199
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,400
Big if. PS, how's Joshua?
200
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,080
He sounded really lame
and perfect for you.
201
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,440
Still no update on when
I'm going to be moving out?
202
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,240
No, I do have an update.
203
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:58,920
Your dad still doesn't want you.
204
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,240
But the good news is
205
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,520
you can live here indefinitely.
JOEL CHUCKLES
206
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:06,280
I'm very happy with our
system, alternating nights
207
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,000
between bed and bag.
208
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,440
Makes you appreciate
bed so much more.
209
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,480
Yeah.
210
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,720
Oh, and by the way,
I think we have rats.
211
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:19,000
Yeah, I saw a trail
of breadcrumbs...
212
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,800
..leading to a rat.
213
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:21,840
Yeah.
214
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,400
Take that, dummy.
215
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,160
Not dummy, Fiona. David.
216
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,320
The smacks flow better
when you picture David.
217
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,160
I'm not actually
angry at David today,
218
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,160
apart from the normal background hum.
219
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,000
It's Rachel who's being tricky.
220
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,960
She's resisting courtship.
221
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,640
"Courtship" sounds
weird and medieval.
222
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,040
Why are we friends?
223
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:45,080
It's just a process where young
ordinands pair under God.
224
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,480
It's like an arranged marriage.
225
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,520
No. I mean, Elder Samson did
use that exact same phrase
226
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:51,760
but, no. In an arranged marriage,
you have one choice.
227
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,320
Rachel will have at least
five or six. Rad.
228
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,720
It's a sacred system.
David and I were married that way.
229
00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,080
And you want what you
and David have for Rachel?
230
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,840
Melissa, I sense subtext.
A hate subtext.
231
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,720
Here's a question.
232
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:09,320
When was the last time you
and David were...physical?
233
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,960
Well, Aaron was
born in December 2012,
234
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,040
so nine months before that.
235
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,440
Oh, Christ.
236
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:19,440
Sounds to me like you're caught
in a psychological bear trap.
237
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,840
If you admit that
arranged marriage is bad,
238
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,280
you have to admit that your
own marriage could be bad.
239
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:29,040
You pull on that thread,
and your whole relationship
240
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,160
could unravel - like a
big, sexless cardigan.
241
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:40,720
David, would you like to...
242
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,160
..share a hug?
243
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,680
Oh. Yes.
244
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,400
That sounds wonderful.
245
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,320
It's been a while, hasn't it?
246
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,720
Could you go up...? Could you
maybe just...? Ooh, sorry. My hands.
247
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,120
If you go over the side, I'll go...
248
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,640
Do you know what? I have a headache.
249
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:10,640
What did I just witness?
250
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,640
Nothing, Aaron. Your father's fine.
251
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,240
Hmph. Back in the day, we
used to hug like rabbits.
252
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:17,680
Dad, do you want to help me out?
253
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,560
I've cooked Andrew miso broth
that Mary used to make.
254
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,040
Do you want to deliver it?
255
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,480
You're not just trying to make
me feel useful, are you, Aaron?
256
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:29,960
Well... Please, let me do it.
257
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,200
DOORBELL RINGS
258
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,200
Andrew, I have your liquid meal!
259
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,440
Enjoy!
260
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:03,440
Do you have prior medical experience?
261
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,320
DOOR OPENS, RACHEL GASPS
Too slow, Rachel.
262
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,000
I'm going to need
to know what that was.
263
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,880
Don't use my icy stare against me.
264
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,960
I've honed mine over years.
265
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,960
It's for a job.
266
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,040
Paramedic training.
267
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,280
I thought you were choosing
a more traditional path like me.
268
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,040
You run your own business.
269
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,760
Yes, but that was only
after 20 years of marital...
270
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,880
..bliss. Such a long
pause there, Mum.
271
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,360
Look, I know you've made a
concession with university.
272
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,080
So how about you
give courtship a try
273
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,120
and, in return, you can do this.
274
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:43,560
So, to get my own job, I need to open
myself up to a lifelong marriage.
275
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,080
I'm going to take your
silence as saying "yes",
276
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,760
but you're too ashamed to
say it out loud.
277
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,000
I wouldn't refute that.
278
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,040
Deal.
279
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,560
OK, here we go!
280
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,160
I don't know who Mrs Abijah is,
281
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:04,760
but I do know how
she wants me to look.
282
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,880
Mm.
283
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,120
Are you sure there's going
to be a Mrs Abijah?
284
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,520
Why wouldn't there be a Mrs Abijah?
285
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:14,200
Because me dad couldn't find
your match card. Ha-ha-ha.
286
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,440
Samson was just joking.
287
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,960
Look, if I got married,
I'd be happier,
288
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,520
I'd be more energised.
289
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:24,280
And when I had kids, there'd be lots
of little Abijahs running around.
290
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,040
Basically lots more me.
291
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,720
I mean, what could
he have against that?
292
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,240
Yeah, no idea.
293
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:34,280
Hey, imagine us two roomies married.
294
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,520
We'd have to get a few more bags...
Abijah.
295
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,920
If we were married,
we wouldn't be living together.
296
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,360
Hmph. If that's how you feel, Josh.
297
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,880
It's a one-bed flat...
If that's how you feel, Josh!
298
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:46,960
Mm.
299
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,360
Where are you off to, Aaron?
300
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,160
I'm going to speak
to Andrew on my own.
301
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,520
A one-to-one chat with Andrew?
302
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,680
Solo?
303
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,040
Can I come? I'd rather not, Dad.
304
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,640
I thought delivering soup
was within your skill set,
305
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:05,160
but now Andrew's carpet
smells of soy beans forever.
306
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,240
So I caused a man
some property damage.
307
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,040
This is nothing new!
308
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,960
That's bad, Dad.
309
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,840
That's bad that that isn't new.
310
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,400
Andrew's delicate.
311
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,760
When you talk, people tend
to get angry or confused.
312
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,160
Usually both.
313
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,320
Of course.
314
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,120
I'll just get back to my tapes.
315
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,960
OK, here's the deal.
316
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,600
If you really do want
to come, you can't talk.
317
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,000
Well, if I don't talk,
why am I coming? Indeed.
318
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,960
Seriously, Dad, not a word.
319
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,880
I'd even go as far as saying
if you do speak,
320
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,800
all the goodwill
between us would evaporate.
321
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,280
We'd no longer be father and son,
322
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,040
just two weird acquaintances
with a big age gap who live
323
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,400
in the same house for some reason.
324
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,800
Do you still want to come? Aaron...
325
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,200
..yes, I do.
326
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,640
You really don't need to
stick around for this. Please.
327
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,720
Front row tickets to the freak show?
328
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,040
Where's the popcorn?
329
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,080
This is a perfectly normal process.
330
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:07,400
Those are some of the boys
Rachel will be meeting. Ugh.
331
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,680
They look like a bunch of incels
grown in a pale, sickly lab.
332
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:14,000
These are supposed to be held
by children during Candlemas.
333
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,240
Well, today, it's held by a
man in pursuit of his woman.
334
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:19,520
Marrying a faithful ordinand
is Rachel's best chance
335
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,440
of getting into Paradise.
336
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:24,200
And you become single again
in Paradise, do you?
337
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,680
No.
338
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,800
Oh, dear. Hello, Samson.
339
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,200
See, Josh? I do have a seat.
340
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:33,400
Yeah, there's an odd number,
so I'm using you as a placeholder.
341
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,680
No... Sampson, are you joking?
342
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:41,720
You want me to watch on impotently
while everyone except me finds love?
343
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,120
Have fun. OK, everyone.
344
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,720
Ten minutes per match.
345
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:49,320
If you ain't bonded in that time,
it ain't never going to happen.
346
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,080
Blessings on finding the one.
BELL RINGS
347
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,840
Ugh. Ooh!
348
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:58,160
In Mark 8:23, Jesus heals
a blind man with spit.
349
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,440
But then in John 9:6,
he heals him with mud.
350
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,040
Why is that?
351
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,280
Uh, I guess I don't really
have an opinion.
352
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,360
Yeah, most girls don't.
353
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,280
BELL RINGS
It's a Christingle.
354
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,120
And if you pick me, it's yours.
355
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,440
Could you give me your number?
356
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,240
I share a mobile with my sister.
BELL RINGS
357
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:25,000
My aunt was blessed with the
Holy Spirit in a cellar in Glasgow,
358
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,120
and I've always wanted to
take someone there with me.
359
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,320
BELL RINGS
360
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:31,680
Hello, Rachel.
361
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,440
Just placeholder Abijah here.
362
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,360
Always just a placeholder.
363
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,040
Ah, life is long, isn't it?
364
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,880
Life is long.
365
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,720
BELL RINGS
366
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,960
Hi.
367
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,200
Hi.
368
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,560
Aaron, you think you want my help,
369
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,880
but everything I touch turns to ruin.
370
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,320
I couldn't protect my tree.
371
00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,800
I couldn't protect Joel.
372
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,440
I'm losing my grip.
373
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,080
Those things don't define
you, Andrew.
374
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:09,520
We need you. I need you. And with
Samson's arranged marriages,
375
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:13,440
I don't know what my
future looks like.
376
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,320
Couldn't your father help?
377
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,880
I would like someone who
isn't my father to help.
378
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,640
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
379
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,360
Dad, remember what we agreed?
380
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:35,400
Thank you for coming and showing
your support, David.
381
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,320
Although you haven't
really weighed in.
382
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,200
You do agree with Aaron, don't you?
383
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:46,760
That I should return to the church?
384
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,520
Oh.
385
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:53,840
Oh, I see.
386
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,400
Well, if you think I'm damaged
goods, David, tell me.
387
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,840
Oh, you think I'm irredeemable?
388
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,120
Tell me one thing, David.
389
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,640
Is it just you, or does everyone
at the church feel the same way?
390
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:08,960
SOBBING: Oh, I'm a disgrace.
391
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,000
I infect everything I touch.
392
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,360
What did you say?
393
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,840
Oh, I said nothing.
394
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,000
So, how's it going?
395
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,240
I spent the last two months offering
Jesus to girls with brighter
396
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,720
futures than me. You?
397
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,000
I feel renewed, full of purpose.
398
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,960
I can tell.
399
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,560
Nice suit. Thank you.
400
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,680
You look like the M&S
back-to-school sale came to life.
401
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:35,880
I wanted to show I'm committed.
402
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,440
So committed that you dobbed me in.
403
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,960
What? Josh, you
told on me to Samson.
404
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,680
Which is why I couldn't go to uni.
405
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,960
Which is why my realistic
five-year plan involves
406
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,240
being a tradwife to a man
who makes Christingles.
407
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,200
Rachel, my...my dad already knew.
408
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,760
You told on me, and then
you ghosted me for two months.
409
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,440
I was following the rules
so I could come back.
410
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:57,760
That's what you asked me to do.
Yeah.
411
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,960
I said, "Come back to the order
by throwing me under the bus."
412
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,600
I didn't throw you under the bus!
413
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,320
I just told Samson what he needed
to hear so I could see you again.
414
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,520
OUTGOING MESSAGE TONE
415
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,040
PHONE BUZZES
416
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,000
You thought I was ghosting you?
417
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,360
"Rachel, I'm so sorry."
418
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:19,600
It's a bit late, Josh.
419
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,200
"I've missed you every day I've been
on penance."
420
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,680
"I already submitted my match
card with you as my match,
421
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,080
"and if you give me a chance
to redeem myself, I will."
422
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,920
If you're wondering how
I typed that so quickly,
423
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,600
it's because I copied it from a
notes page that I've been anxiously
424
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,080
editing for about a month.
BELL RINGS
425
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,560
Ah.
426
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,080
Me again.
427
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,240
I've done the whole circuit.
428
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:44,440
Everyone,
429
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,760
our fallen congregant, Joel,
430
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,240
has something he'd like to say.
431
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:59,800
"I...I, Joel Johnson, do hereby
agree to take a vow of chastity.
432
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:05,400
"I commit to partaking in no
sexual activity with any woman
433
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,240
"to whom I am not married."
434
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,600
Turn the page.
435
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:14,120
"And due to my behaviour,
436
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:17,760
"I also agree...never to marry."
437
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,800
Keep reading.
438
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:23,800
"I will abstain from all
sexual release, including
439
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:27,760
"and especially self-administered."
Samson I'm... Well done.
440
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,880
Yeah, that is binding, that is.
Um... That is binding.
441
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,760
Would you say this is healthy?
442
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,920
We've just watched a room full
of teenagers applaud a man
443
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,640
for agreeing not to wank.
444
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,560
Yeah.
445
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:45,440
And do you agree that
not wanking is healthy?
446
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,200
I've managed.
447
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,400
Oh, Fiona, you make me so sad.
448
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,600
Wondering whether to hand in early?
449
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,600
It must be nice having that option.
But one date left.
450
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,760
You may as well wait. You could
be swept off your feet by...
451
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,400
Jebediah.
452
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,880
Yeah. Sounds like a real catch.
453
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,280
Hey! You're Jebediah?
454
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,360
Please, call me Jeb.
455
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,400
We're supposed to be finished.
456
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,280
Must be going pretty well over there.
457
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,840
ABIJAH CHUCKLES
You know, it's so funny. She was just about to
458
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,440
hand in her card
right after your date,
459
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,440
and I told her to
give this guy a try.
460
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,120
And look what's happening!
461
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,040
I thought Leviticus said
tattoos weren't allowed.
462
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:36,800
Yeah. Leviticus 19.
463
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,120
You see? "Do not mark your flesh."
464
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,560
I don't think faith
is a list of rules.
465
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,440
I think it's about
experiencing God's creation.
466
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,640
Everything, and everyone, in it.
467
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,440
All right, shall we head home?
468
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,320
Remind me, are you
bed or bag tonight?
469
00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:00,000
Oh... I think bed. Cool.
470
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,480
But remember, tomorrow's bag.
471
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,840
Aaron's angry for some reason.
472
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,520
I guess he is nearly a teenager.
473
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,000
If we were in hell,
we wouldn't know.
474
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,080
The devil wouldn't tell us.
475
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,640
Hi.
476
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,560
In my old chapter,
we used to hug goodbye.
477
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,440
Is it OK if we...?
478
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,520
OPERATIC MUSIC
479
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:42,720
QUIETLY: That was wonderful.
480
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,200
Bye, David.
481
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,320
DAVID EXHALES SHARPLY
482
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,760
David, shall we hug? Um...
483
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,040
Thanks, Fiona, but I think I'll need
20 minutes before I can go again.
484
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,480
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
485
00:23:10,530 --> 00:23:15,080
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