All language subtitles for Everyone Else Burns s02e01.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,200 Hi. Would you like to talk to me about God? 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:04,320 ECHOING: God... 3 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:05,600 The order says women will be fulfilled 4 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,840 by making the home their work. And have you personally found that? 5 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,440 No, but I've only been doing it 17 years. 6 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,200 I provide for my family. 7 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:13,280 EXPLOSION 8 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,640 HE CRIES OUT 9 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:19,280 I chose you, David. And you'd choose me again today? 10 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,640 I chose you, David. 11 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,840 Who are those guys? They're off to hell. 12 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,120 Wow. Nice eight pack. Yeah! 13 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,400 I used to be in the order. 14 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,280 We're making an official request under the charter to return. 15 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,720 Are you wearing Mary's ring? 16 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,360 Oh, no! Give it back! 17 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,320 SHE RETCHES Mary! 18 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:39,560 Remain in the order on penance, or pursue university and be excluded. 19 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,840 MUSIC: Wet Dream by Wet Leg 20 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:44,880 Hey. Hey, guys. Wait! 21 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:50,040 Hey, did you just come from anatomy? Yeah. It's incredible, right? 22 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,080 The design of the human body! 23 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,960 And also, we can save lives. 24 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,520 But do you know what's even better than saving lives? 25 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,560 A fulfilling relationship with Jesus Christ. 26 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,960 Oh, God. Please... Please take the leaflet. 27 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,400 Oh, good try, Rachel. Yeah, I thought you were really bonding 28 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,240 until she...learned your whole deal. HE CHUCKLES 29 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,800 It's crazy to think, isn't it? If the chips had fallen differently, 30 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,720 you could have been one of those students 31 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,600 instead of harassing them with leaflets. 32 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,400 Am I done? Yes, yes. 300 hours of penance. 33 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,960 Actually, you finished 45 minutes ago, I just let you keep going 34 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,320 because you were clearly having so much fun. 35 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:23,520 How do you feel? 36 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,960 I feel renewed, full of purpose. 37 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,000 Aw. 38 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,640 I can tell you really mean that. 39 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,680 Thanks for that, Jesus. 40 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,800 Rachel, you're off penance. 41 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,880 I'm making you a flan to celebrate. 42 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,440 And I'm over beating the eggs so it doesn't go to your head. 43 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,480 I'm gonna go and... 44 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,720 ..Pray. Nobody interrupt me. 45 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:56,320 Harry, you don't think your sister's spirit is broken, do you? 46 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:57,600 Not broken. 47 00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:58,960 Crushed, maybe. 48 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,000 VAPE CRACKLES 49 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,120 DOOR SLAMS Rachel? 50 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,160 You're all done, right? 51 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,720 Yes! Thumbs up. 52 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,400 Big thumbs up. 53 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:08,440 Hmm. 54 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,960 Something smells like...cotton candy? 55 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,960 Your gel pens, of course. HE CHUCKLES 56 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,720 You kids and your gel pens! HE LAUGHS 57 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:20,840 Right... 58 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:21,880 Well... 59 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,680 I'll leave you to it. SHE SQUEAKS 60 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,080 Something I needed to.... 61 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:29,400 SHE SQUEAKS 62 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,800 Nope. It's gone! HE CHUCKLES 63 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,760 Bye, Rachel! 64 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:35,800 DOOR CLOSES 65 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,480 Allowed back in church, isn't that great? 66 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,120 Happy day - celebration. 67 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,240 SHE WHOOPS 68 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,960 Yes, "Whoo!" 69 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,920 It's been great being treated like a virus. 70 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:00,960 No-one said virus. 71 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,000 RACHEL SCOFFS 72 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,040 Samson said I would infect everyone with sin. 73 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,800 Yes, but you stayed at home, and you didn't. 74 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,480 Rachel, I know it's been tough, but... 75 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,000 ..penance is designed to renew your faith. 76 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,600 Sure, Mum. But 300 hours of preaching? 77 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,800 Who would seriously feel renewed... 78 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:16,840 ..by that? 79 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,240 Is that the boy who deflowered you? 80 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,120 He kissed me. 81 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,160 That's what I said. 82 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,760 He looks... 83 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:26,800 ..so committed. 84 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:28,840 A changed man. 85 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,800 He's the reason I was on penance - he told on me to Samson. 86 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,080 Well, thank goodness - he brought you back to the light. 87 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,240 Thank you for bringing my daughter back to the light. 88 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:38,600 Blessings. 89 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:40,640 Blessings. 90 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,480 Andrew's on mental health leave. 91 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,120 I wish we didn't call it that. 92 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,960 His wife, Tree, died. His convert shamed him. His brain broke. 93 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,880 He's the only elder who can moderate Samson. 94 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,080 With him gone, well... I don't think Andrew's absence 95 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,120 will make any real difference. 96 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,520 Arranged marriages. 97 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:02,720 Why did we stop doing them? 98 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,480 I don't remember either, so I'm bringing 'em back! 99 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:12,920 Samson has spoken. 100 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,880 I'm not doing it. 101 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,120 No way. 102 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,160 Before you rule this out, Rachel, think of the peer pressure. 103 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,720 If you don't do it, you'll look weird. 104 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,680 What happened to letting me live my own life? 105 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,920 Nothing happened to it. It has never been a thing. 106 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,680 David, why don't you go and get some squash? Ah, thanks, Fiona. 107 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,680 I'm squashed up to the nines. Go over there, David. Yes, of course. 108 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:31,840 Rachel... SHE SIGHS 109 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,960 ..I accept this is a bit of a surprise, but... 110 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,560 ..try to see the positives. 111 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,920 Who in their right mind would feel positive about THIS? 112 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:46,560 Wow and wow. Mrs Abijah could be in this room right now. 113 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:48,600 I mean, maybe it's that lady. 114 00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,800 No, it's not that lady. 115 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:54,520 Didn't know you were so keen to get married. Oh, I'm not, no. I mean... 116 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,000 I mean, I've dabbled with a couple of Christian dating apps, 117 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,400 you know, Adam And Eve Dating, 118 00:04:58,440 --> 00:04:59,560 Righteous Relationships, 119 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,640 Marriage Messiah, 120 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:01,680 Prodigal Passion Project, 121 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:02,920 Tabernacle Time, 122 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,440 Devotion Motion and Kringle, but... 123 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,760 HE LAUGHS ..I'm not keen, no. 124 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:11,400 Uh, Elder, my card doesn't have any names on it, just the word "atone". 125 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,200 I mean, I thought I have atoned - 126 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,280 I handed out some flyers, a 14-year-old spat at me... 127 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,200 You publicly fornicated with an unmarried woman. 128 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,360 There's only one way to cleanse that stain. 129 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,320 Is that...a padlock? 130 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,920 Next! 131 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,920 Well, if it isn't Aaron Lewis. 132 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,200 Aren't you a bit too young to be paired off with your future wife? 133 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,880 I see you've matched everyone male-to-female, 134 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,320 and ONLY male-to-female. 135 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,040 Our charter doesn't explicitly forbid gay marriage... 136 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,640 No, but I do. 137 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:44,800 Next. 138 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,680 Ah, Joshua. 139 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,880 Thanks, Dad. Er, I mean "Elder". 140 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,840 Can I get Abijah's card, too? 141 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,160 I can't seem to find that one. 142 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,760 OK, but he does have a card, though, right? 143 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,400 If he gets married, he'd have children. 144 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:01,160 An unpollinated flower bears no seed, Joshua. 145 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,120 Are you trying to end his genetic line? 146 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,160 Next! 147 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,000 I can't believe you forced me into this. 148 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,680 I'm not forcing you, you're welcome to resist for a bit. 149 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,920 Look, your father and I were married in this system. 150 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,400 It's the Lord's way of guiding us to our soulmates. 151 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,040 Do you really think Dad's your soulmate? 152 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,960 That of everyone else on earth, there's no-one better suited to you? 153 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,040 You honestly believe that? 154 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,320 Yes. 155 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:28,440 Because God always puts our soulmate in our path. 156 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:29,720 HE SIGHS 157 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,160 Hello. Hiya. 158 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,280 I'm just de-diluting the squash. 159 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,160 Is that a 3/1 water-squash ratio? 160 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,400 I like my squash quite viscous. Hmm! 161 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,920 I thought I was the only one. 162 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,360 Oh, nice suit - machine washable. 163 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,840 Never trusted dry cleaners. 164 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,520 "Dry cleaner" is a misnomer. It means water free, not liquid free. 165 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,800 Precisely. If they were being accurate, it'd be called... 166 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,440 TOGETHER: ..an anhydrous cleaning. 167 00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,720 What did you say your name was? 168 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,040 David. 169 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,280 David, my God's eternal king. 170 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,600 Known for his good looks... 171 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,200 ..and his illicit dalliance with Bathsheba. 172 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,120 I should...get back to my wife. 173 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:17,560 Oh, don't forget your squash. 174 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,840 Adviser, who's that lady? 175 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,520 That's Maude. New in from the Prestwich chapter. 176 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,720 She made big waves at their homemakers club. 177 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:37,600 That woman knows how to make cheese from scratch. 178 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,760 Urgh, 3/1, too rich for my blood. 179 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,640 Ah, Sister Lewis! 180 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,000 Susie left a letter for you. 181 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,240 Miss Simmonds did? I'm quite envious, actually, 182 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,360 because the only thing she sent me is a picture of her new boyfriend 183 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,960 smeared in...edible love chocolate. 184 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,720 And she told me she was lactose intolerant. 185 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,720 I guess, uh, not for him. 186 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,880 MISS SIMMONDS: Rachel, I've taken a job at a lovely Scottish school 187 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,120 that doesn't do proper background checks, 188 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,640 but I thought, before I go, I'd leave you a heartfelt letter 189 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,960 like we're in Little Women, or something. God, I hated that film. 190 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,840 It taught little girls that they can be anything, 191 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,400 and we both know that just isn't true. 192 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,040 I'm sorry you didn't get to study medicine at university, 193 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,680 I'm sure you would have been a great doctor until you burned out at 35, 194 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,160 but here's a leaflet for a paramedic course. 195 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,800 It would mean using your mind to help people, 196 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,400 and, from your volunteering, 197 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,600 you already have valuable experience in getting paid badly. 198 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,400 Good luck, Rachel. I'll stay in touch - if I remember. 199 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,400 Big if. PS, how's Joshua? 200 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,080 He sounded really lame and perfect for you. 201 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,440 Still no update on when I'm going to be moving out? 202 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,240 No, I do have an update. 203 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:58,920 Your dad still doesn't want you. 204 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,240 But the good news is 205 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,520 you can live here indefinitely. JOEL CHUCKLES 206 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:06,280 I'm very happy with our system, alternating nights 207 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,000 between bed and bag. 208 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,440 Makes you appreciate bed so much more. 209 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,480 Yeah. 210 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,720 Oh, and by the way, I think we have rats. 211 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:19,000 Yeah, I saw a trail of breadcrumbs... 212 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,800 ..leading to a rat. 213 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:21,840 Yeah. 214 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,400 Take that, dummy. 215 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,160 Not dummy, Fiona. David. 216 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,320 The smacks flow better when you picture David. 217 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,160 I'm not actually angry at David today, 218 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,160 apart from the normal background hum. 219 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,000 It's Rachel who's being tricky. 220 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,960 She's resisting courtship. 221 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,640 "Courtship" sounds weird and medieval. 222 00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,040 Why are we friends? 223 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:45,080 It's just a process where young ordinands pair under God. 224 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,480 It's like an arranged marriage. 225 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,520 No. I mean, Elder Samson did use that exact same phrase 226 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:51,760 but, no. In an arranged marriage, you have one choice. 227 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,320 Rachel will have at least five or six. Rad. 228 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,720 It's a sacred system. David and I were married that way. 229 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,080 And you want what you and David have for Rachel? 230 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,840 Melissa, I sense subtext. A hate subtext. 231 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,720 Here's a question. 232 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:09,320 When was the last time you and David were...physical? 233 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,960 Well, Aaron was born in December 2012, 234 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,040 so nine months before that. 235 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,440 Oh, Christ. 236 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:19,440 Sounds to me like you're caught in a psychological bear trap. 237 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,840 If you admit that arranged marriage is bad, 238 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,280 you have to admit that your own marriage could be bad. 239 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:29,040 You pull on that thread, and your whole relationship 240 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,160 could unravel - like a big, sexless cardigan. 241 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:40,720 David, would you like to... 242 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,160 ..share a hug? 243 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,680 Oh. Yes. 244 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,400 That sounds wonderful. 245 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,320 It's been a while, hasn't it? 246 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,720 Could you go up...? Could you maybe just...? Ooh, sorry. My hands. 247 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,120 If you go over the side, I'll go... 248 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,640 Do you know what? I have a headache. 249 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:10,640 What did I just witness? 250 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,640 Nothing, Aaron. Your father's fine. 251 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,240 Hmph. Back in the day, we used to hug like rabbits. 252 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:17,680 Dad, do you want to help me out? 253 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,560 I've cooked Andrew miso broth that Mary used to make. 254 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,040 Do you want to deliver it? 255 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,480 You're not just trying to make me feel useful, are you, Aaron? 256 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:29,960 Well... Please, let me do it. 257 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,200 DOORBELL RINGS 258 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,200 Andrew, I have your liquid meal! 259 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,440 Enjoy! 260 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:03,440 Do you have prior medical experience? 261 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,320 DOOR OPENS, RACHEL GASPS Too slow, Rachel. 262 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,000 I'm going to need to know what that was. 263 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,880 Don't use my icy stare against me. 264 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,960 I've honed mine over years. 265 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,960 It's for a job. 266 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,040 Paramedic training. 267 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,280 I thought you were choosing a more traditional path like me. 268 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,040 You run your own business. 269 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,760 Yes, but that was only after 20 years of marital... 270 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,880 ..bliss. Such a long pause there, Mum. 271 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,360 Look, I know you've made a concession with university. 272 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,080 So how about you give courtship a try 273 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,120 and, in return, you can do this. 274 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:43,560 So, to get my own job, I need to open myself up to a lifelong marriage. 275 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,080 I'm going to take your silence as saying "yes", 276 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,760 but you're too ashamed to say it out loud. 277 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,000 I wouldn't refute that. 278 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,040 Deal. 279 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,560 OK, here we go! 280 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,160 I don't know who Mrs Abijah is, 281 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:04,760 but I do know how she wants me to look. 282 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,880 Mm. 283 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,120 Are you sure there's going to be a Mrs Abijah? 284 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,520 Why wouldn't there be a Mrs Abijah? 285 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:14,200 Because me dad couldn't find your match card. Ha-ha-ha. 286 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,440 Samson was just joking. 287 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,960 Look, if I got married, I'd be happier, 288 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,520 I'd be more energised. 289 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:24,280 And when I had kids, there'd be lots of little Abijahs running around. 290 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,040 Basically lots more me. 291 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,720 I mean, what could he have against that? 292 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,240 Yeah, no idea. 293 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:34,280 Hey, imagine us two roomies married. 294 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,520 We'd have to get a few more bags... Abijah. 295 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,920 If we were married, we wouldn't be living together. 296 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,360 Hmph. If that's how you feel, Josh. 297 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,880 It's a one-bed flat... If that's how you feel, Josh! 298 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:46,960 Mm. 299 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,360 Where are you off to, Aaron? 300 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,160 I'm going to speak to Andrew on my own. 301 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,520 A one-to-one chat with Andrew? 302 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,680 Solo? 303 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,040 Can I come? I'd rather not, Dad. 304 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,640 I thought delivering soup was within your skill set, 305 00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:05,160 but now Andrew's carpet smells of soy beans forever. 306 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,240 So I caused a man some property damage. 307 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,040 This is nothing new! 308 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,960 That's bad, Dad. 309 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,840 That's bad that that isn't new. 310 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,400 Andrew's delicate. 311 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,760 When you talk, people tend to get angry or confused. 312 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,160 Usually both. 313 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,320 Of course. 314 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,120 I'll just get back to my tapes. 315 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,960 OK, here's the deal. 316 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,600 If you really do want to come, you can't talk. 317 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,000 Well, if I don't talk, why am I coming? Indeed. 318 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,960 Seriously, Dad, not a word. 319 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,880 I'd even go as far as saying if you do speak, 320 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,800 all the goodwill between us would evaporate. 321 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,280 We'd no longer be father and son, 322 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,040 just two weird acquaintances with a big age gap who live 323 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,400 in the same house for some reason. 324 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,800 Do you still want to come? Aaron... 325 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,200 ..yes, I do. 326 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,640 You really don't need to stick around for this. Please. 327 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,720 Front row tickets to the freak show? 328 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,040 Where's the popcorn? 329 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,080 This is a perfectly normal process. 330 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:07,400 Those are some of the boys Rachel will be meeting. Ugh. 331 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,680 They look like a bunch of incels grown in a pale, sickly lab. 332 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:14,000 These are supposed to be held by children during Candlemas. 333 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,240 Well, today, it's held by a man in pursuit of his woman. 334 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:19,520 Marrying a faithful ordinand is Rachel's best chance 335 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,440 of getting into Paradise. 336 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:24,200 And you become single again in Paradise, do you? 337 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,680 No. 338 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,800 Oh, dear. Hello, Samson. 339 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,200 See, Josh? I do have a seat. 340 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:33,400 Yeah, there's an odd number, so I'm using you as a placeholder. 341 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,680 No... Sampson, are you joking? 342 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:41,720 You want me to watch on impotently while everyone except me finds love? 343 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,120 Have fun. OK, everyone. 344 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,720 Ten minutes per match. 345 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:49,320 If you ain't bonded in that time, it ain't never going to happen. 346 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,080 Blessings on finding the one. BELL RINGS 347 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,840 Ugh. Ooh! 348 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:58,160 In Mark 8:23, Jesus heals a blind man with spit. 349 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,440 But then in John 9:6, he heals him with mud. 350 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,040 Why is that? 351 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,280 Uh, I guess I don't really have an opinion. 352 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,360 Yeah, most girls don't. 353 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,280 BELL RINGS It's a Christingle. 354 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,120 And if you pick me, it's yours. 355 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,440 Could you give me your number? 356 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,240 I share a mobile with my sister. BELL RINGS 357 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:25,000 My aunt was blessed with the Holy Spirit in a cellar in Glasgow, 358 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,120 and I've always wanted to take someone there with me. 359 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,320 BELL RINGS 360 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:31,680 Hello, Rachel. 361 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,440 Just placeholder Abijah here. 362 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,360 Always just a placeholder. 363 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,040 Ah, life is long, isn't it? 364 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,880 Life is long. 365 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,720 BELL RINGS 366 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,960 Hi. 367 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,200 Hi. 368 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,560 Aaron, you think you want my help, 369 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,880 but everything I touch turns to ruin. 370 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,320 I couldn't protect my tree. 371 00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,800 I couldn't protect Joel. 372 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,440 I'm losing my grip. 373 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,080 Those things don't define you, Andrew. 374 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:09,520 We need you. I need you. And with Samson's arranged marriages, 375 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:13,440 I don't know what my future looks like. 376 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,320 Couldn't your father help? 377 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,880 I would like someone who isn't my father to help. 378 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,640 I'm going to go to the bathroom. 379 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,360 Dad, remember what we agreed? 380 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:35,400 Thank you for coming and showing your support, David. 381 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,320 Although you haven't really weighed in. 382 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,200 You do agree with Aaron, don't you? 383 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:46,760 That I should return to the church? 384 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,520 Oh. 385 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:53,840 Oh, I see. 386 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,400 Well, if you think I'm damaged goods, David, tell me. 387 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,840 Oh, you think I'm irredeemable? 388 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,120 Tell me one thing, David. 389 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,640 Is it just you, or does everyone at the church feel the same way? 390 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:08,960 SOBBING: Oh, I'm a disgrace. 391 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,000 I infect everything I touch. 392 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,360 What did you say? 393 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,840 Oh, I said nothing. 394 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,000 So, how's it going? 395 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,240 I spent the last two months offering Jesus to girls with brighter 396 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,720 futures than me. You? 397 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,000 I feel renewed, full of purpose. 398 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,960 I can tell. 399 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,560 Nice suit. Thank you. 400 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,680 You look like the M&S back-to-school sale came to life. 401 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:35,880 I wanted to show I'm committed. 402 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,440 So committed that you dobbed me in. 403 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,960 What? Josh, you told on me to Samson. 404 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,680 Which is why I couldn't go to uni. 405 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,960 Which is why my realistic five-year plan involves 406 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,240 being a tradwife to a man who makes Christingles. 407 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,200 Rachel, my...my dad already knew. 408 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,760 You told on me, and then you ghosted me for two months. 409 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,440 I was following the rules so I could come back. 410 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:57,760 That's what you asked me to do. Yeah. 411 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,960 I said, "Come back to the order by throwing me under the bus." 412 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,600 I didn't throw you under the bus! 413 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,320 I just told Samson what he needed to hear so I could see you again. 414 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,520 OUTGOING MESSAGE TONE 415 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,040 PHONE BUZZES 416 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,000 You thought I was ghosting you? 417 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,360 "Rachel, I'm so sorry." 418 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:19,600 It's a bit late, Josh. 419 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,200 "I've missed you every day I've been on penance." 420 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,680 "I already submitted my match card with you as my match, 421 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,080 "and if you give me a chance to redeem myself, I will." 422 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,920 If you're wondering how I typed that so quickly, 423 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,600 it's because I copied it from a notes page that I've been anxiously 424 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,080 editing for about a month. BELL RINGS 425 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,560 Ah. 426 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,080 Me again. 427 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,240 I've done the whole circuit. 428 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:44,440 Everyone, 429 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,760 our fallen congregant, Joel, 430 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,240 has something he'd like to say. 431 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:59,800 "I...I, Joel Johnson, do hereby agree to take a vow of chastity. 432 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:05,400 "I commit to partaking in no sexual activity with any woman 433 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,240 "to whom I am not married." 434 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,600 Turn the page. 435 00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:14,120 "And due to my behaviour, 436 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:17,760 "I also agree...never to marry." 437 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,800 Keep reading. 438 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:23,800 "I will abstain from all sexual release, including 439 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:27,760 "and especially self-administered." Samson I'm... Well done. 440 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,880 Yeah, that is binding, that is. Um... That is binding. 441 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,760 Would you say this is healthy? 442 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,920 We've just watched a room full of teenagers applaud a man 443 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,640 for agreeing not to wank. 444 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,560 Yeah. 445 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:45,440 And do you agree that not wanking is healthy? 446 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,200 I've managed. 447 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,400 Oh, Fiona, you make me so sad. 448 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,600 Wondering whether to hand in early? 449 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,600 It must be nice having that option. But one date left. 450 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,760 You may as well wait. You could be swept off your feet by... 451 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,400 Jebediah. 452 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,880 Yeah. Sounds like a real catch. 453 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,280 Hey! You're Jebediah? 454 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,360 Please, call me Jeb. 455 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,400 We're supposed to be finished. 456 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,280 Must be going pretty well over there. 457 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,840 ABIJAH CHUCKLES You know, it's so funny. She was just about to 458 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,440 hand in her card right after your date, 459 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,440 and I told her to give this guy a try. 460 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,120 And look what's happening! 461 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,040 I thought Leviticus said tattoos weren't allowed. 462 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:36,800 Yeah. Leviticus 19. 463 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,120 You see? "Do not mark your flesh." 464 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,560 I don't think faith is a list of rules. 465 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,440 I think it's about experiencing God's creation. 466 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,640 Everything, and everyone, in it. 467 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,440 All right, shall we head home? 468 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,320 Remind me, are you bed or bag tonight? 469 00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:00,000 Oh... I think bed. Cool. 470 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,480 But remember, tomorrow's bag. 471 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,840 Aaron's angry for some reason. 472 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,520 I guess he is nearly a teenager. 473 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,000 If we were in hell, we wouldn't know. 474 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,080 The devil wouldn't tell us. 475 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,640 Hi. 476 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,560 In my old chapter, we used to hug goodbye. 477 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,440 Is it OK if we...? 478 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,520 OPERATIC MUSIC 479 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:42,720 QUIETLY: That was wonderful. 480 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,200 Bye, David. 481 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,320 DAVID EXHALES SHARPLY 482 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,760 David, shall we hug? Um... 483 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,040 Thanks, Fiona, but I think I'll need 20 minutes before I can go again. 484 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,480 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 485 00:23:10,530 --> 00:23:15,080 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36215

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