Original subtitles

Oh, sorry I'm going to--

Excuse me.

What is this? Like I said, we're being played.

Now pay up.

How'd you even find this stuff?

I can find anything or anyone.

Then why can't you find your dad?

Hilarious, dude.

Look, I don't know what all this stuff is, but Santa is coming tonight.

Okay, can we talk about that for a minute?

Jack O'Malley.

Kids could host us.

Not you.

Not you.

What are you doing, pal?

Look, we love having you here for the holidays.

But what are you telling your cousins?

The cold hard truth.

Cold hard truth.

Jack, these are presents, yes.

But these aren't Santa's presents.

Right. Because Santa Claus hasn't been here yet.

It's Christmas Eve. He's coming tonight.

He's coming here. To this house. Tonight.

Tonight. That's what you're telling him.

That's what I'm telling you.

And he's also going to every other house in the world.

On the same night, using fine reindeer for transportation.

Yes, Jack.

And what fuels a fine reindeer, exactly?

For carrots?

Okay, look, I don't know exactly how it works.

All I know is, when we wake up tomorrow, Santa will have been here.

[Sigh]

Alright, let's go.

You don't want to get on the naughty list, do you?

Honestly Uncle Rick, I'm not that worried about it.

Christine, triple shot of maracano.

Jack, go madly. I don't believe it.

Lenny, you missed me.

Where's my money?

I'm getting you your money. I told you I'm going to get you your money.

I'm on a job right now.

In fact, I'm planning on doubling it.

Still got Morris at plus 300.

Morris, that's stiff.

Put me down for 25, Jack.

You got a lot of balls, Uncle Riley.

I know, brains too. It doesn't seem fair. It doesn't.

Fire. Fire.

What are you looking at?

Ultimate Vampire Assassin 4 for the Switch. Got it.

Are you going to write that now?

No. Still driving.

Hey, Fred. Got a 5'11" male grown up

hovering by the scent of candles. Keep an eye out.

Copy, Chief. I got eye on him.

Hi, Santa. We made cookies for you.

Thank you.

John, what do you have to do with Snickerdoodle?

I love Snickerdoodle. How do you know?

I made them myself. I hope.

You know what? I don't mean it to talk to you guys. Come here.

We're live. Yo, it's your boy, Steve Stu.

And we're here at Christmas at the mall with the boy, the dog, Santa.

And we're going to get him to put on a Stu Crew T-shirt.

Sir, you can't cut the line.

Ah, what's the matter, big guy?

You know, I show some Christmas love to the bee.

These kids have been waiting a long time.

Look, man. It'll take two minutes. He puts

on the shirt and he says, "Now we beat them."

Sir, I'm a big deal. I have over 3,000 followers.

I'm going to make you boy famous. You just got to put the shirt on.

He's already quite famous.

No, don't be a total.

Sir, you can't cut the line.

I made myself clear.

Yes, exactly.

Now I wish you a Merry Christmas.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to go.

Now, you guys have a very important appointment with Santa.

Man, I needed that. It's so important to get out and talk to the kids.

Best part of the job.

Nothing like a crowded mall two days before Christmas.

No, Santa Man, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, pal.

Tell me you're not going to miss this.

God! What do you mean you're scold out of a Santa's oil?

I'm going to bash someone's skull in.

I'm not going to miss this.

I'm approaching ground floor. Let's heat up ice breaker.

Ready? Secondary array.

Under 80 degrees, ready? Go.

Copy that. Red wind is on the move.

Vampire access before it's hot this year.

Thank you, Jennifer.

Sure thing, Red.

You got any milk up there? Of course I do.

I always love coming.

I think we have time to stop for a cheesesteak.

Hopefully the same without you, Cal.

It'll be exactly the same without me.

I'm just covered in bait in the butt.

General?

Red.

Good to see you.

Successful excursion?

Yes, sir.

The mall at Christmas time is like oxygen for me.

Thank you.

Evening, ladies.

What are you so excited about?

Of course, my boyfriend's here.

[laughs]

I hate girls.

Okay, okay.

Of course I didn't forget.

Yes, I brought extra.

It was all right.

Cal!

Come on, man.

Clock ticket.

Red 1, you are clear for takeoff.

All right, ladies.

Let's go home.

Thanks for the effort, fellas.

See you next year.

Come on, man!

Go ahead.

I got it.

I don't know what the hell it is, but I got it.

Something gorgeous.

Well, why don't you send something my way first?

Wiring the first up now, the rest, and the business verified.

Glad you're doing business with me.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

No.

No.

No!

Oh, wow, my God!

Home sweet home.

Oh, yes!

[inaudible]

Great.

Welcome back.

Thank you.

Where's the missus?

I'm right here.

The liver hole was a half hour ago.

Larry, this is Villenden Bermuda.

[inaudible]

Garcia, welcome back, chief.

What did I miss?

Nothing.

Everyone's working.

There's a bottleneck in ribbons.

Phil is blaming rapids.

Rapids says Phil is being over-dramatic.

Everybody's feeling the heat.

All right, I'll talk to him.

Please, Phil's driving everybody nuts.

Phil ribbons is having a total meltdown.

Maybe it's time to find a less stressful spot for Phil.

I don't know, tinsel?

Phil, out of ribbons?

Just a thought.

What about dog named ribbons?

Definitely.

495, 496, 497, 498, 499, 500.

In five minutes, not bad.

Getting warmed up.

All right, I'm going to run the simulation model on Belgium

and Holland again just to be safe.

Thank you, sweetie.

All right, if you need me, yell.

Hey, yell.

Jump in there.

Get them ready, okay?

Go on a showtime.

Smell.

We'll do.

Hey, boss.

Come.

Give me your spot, huh?

Got it.

Tell me why.

Time for a change, Nick.

It's like I told you.

Yeah, I heard you.

And I'll respect your decision, but I want to know why.

Let's go heavy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Looking strong.

We work for the kids, Kel.

We do it for them.

And I know you love that.

You live for that.

So what's going on here?

I love the kids.

It's the grown-ups that are killing me.

Go on.

The list.

What about the list?

We're up almost 22% year over year.

I'm aware of the numbers, Kel.

What are you getting at?

For the first time ever, more people are on the naughty list than not.

And it's like they don't even care.

So much bad behavior out there.

Everywhere you look.

You say it all the time, Nick.

We choose every day who we want to be.

With big decisions and little ones.

And every one of them matters.

But I look around and they act like none of it matters.

If nothing matters to them, it seems to me they need us now more than ever.

That's why there's only one you.

And no one with my doubts should be so close to you.

You need somebody younger, someone 300 years

old in their prime who wants to change things.

Not our job to change people, Kel.

People change themselves.

We've just shown that we believe in them.

All of them.

Because we know who they really are.

Down deep.

We know that somewhere inside every lost grown-up is the kid they once were.

Our gift is that we can see them.

Even when they can't.

We work for the kids, Kel.

Even when they're not kids anymore.

I'm just having a really hard time seeing it.

And that's why.

What's out of cooking?

The answer to everything.

Got a car book?

You know, I burn a little burn.

You burn 430 million calories every Christmas Eve.

Yes, I know.

One last ride.

One last ride.

Music ] Get to it, lads.

Music ] Music ]

Music ]

Music ]

Music ]

Music ]

Music ] Music ]

Music ]

In country, a match is a match with the same percentage of the first deposit.

Music ]

caps make

Hey Jeff, looks like we got a few more of them too. What's going on up there?

Jeff? Jeff, do you copy?

Who's with Red? Arthur, is he still with you?

Negative, Chief.

Can you hear him?

Not in the gym.

Who's with Red?

Moving to human residence?

Bingo, just took over.

Bingo!

Bingo!

I need eyes on Red now.

Now, we're in negative.

Study negative.

Mr. Two-Hydroponics native.

He's not in the gallery.

Logistics negative.

After we're negative, we're packaging our data.

We're showing you what your name is.

I'm actually making a lot of noise.

I'm going to make a lot of noise.

I'm going to make a lot of noise.

Negative.

I'm going to make a lot of noise.

Thank you.

We have a bridge.

We have a bridge.

Right here.

Let's see what you're doing.

What's your note?

Going up.

Can you hear me?

Talk green. Talk green.

Pull back down.

Over at Snowcat.

Hurry north.

Copy that.

Located.

You're alive.

You've turned right on time.

Copy.

Containment barrier five.

Going up.

Three-minute six deployed.

Watch him in.

No.

Agents down.

Raising 72.

Raising 72.

snow lands gain snowUT fascists that have left that didn't previously

There's a hole in the dome!

hits the Creepy Whip)

Comes forwards and goes round the universal influence on theIER

(dramatic music)

What the hell just happened?

There's been a breach, Director.

I know.

Red has been taken.

What?

Where's Cal?

Right here.

Cal, what happened?

Who could have done this?

Zoe, I don't know.

We were 24 hours to Christmas Eve.

We could ask.

I'm well aware.

Okay, okay, let's take a deep breath.

Start from the beginning.

They cut a hole in the CF dome

using an atomic plasma torch.

From the footprints, I'd say there's eight to 10 of them.

Human.

They rolled in on the remote on the snow cat,

but they used it in the version

before they blasted out a year

in the NORAD blind cargo jet.

Good God, Cal.

I'm gonna find them, Zoe.

We're gonna work together on this.

We were just told that someone hacked

the intercontinental seismic surveillance system.

I don't know if it's related,

but if someone knew where to look,

that's the only vulnerability in the cloaking.

Who?

We don't know yet.

The trolls are scouring the web.

Name and address.

They are working on it.

Tell them to work faster.

We don't have time for this.

Director, the trolls have a trace.

Patch them in.

What have you got?

We traced the relays.

Looks like the wolf.

The wolf.

Who the hell is a wolf?

Mercenary, bounty hunter, works for the highest bidder,

a ghost on the dark web.

FBI has been trying to recruit him for years,

but he's a freelancer.

He's probably the best tracker in the world.

You guys are legends.

(growling)

(grunting)

Why?

Nice.

Are you in town?

It depends.

What do you want?

I wish I could do me a favor and go pick up Dylan.

I'm right, the village is so important.

This isn't a great time for me.

Yeah, me either.

I have two mothers to be with weakening contractions

and labors that's not progressing and Craig's out of town.

Liv.

Don't we go out in trouble at school?

I just need you to go pick him up

and drop him off in my place.

Liv. Jack.

I'm stuck at work and Craig's away,

so just do me a favor and go pick up your kid.

(ominous music)

I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.

Hey buddy.

Hey, you got me, an ice cream.

What?

No.

I gotta get something in my stomach.

You want a churro?

No.

(ominous music)

Hey man, did I get two?

I don't want a churro.

I heard you.

Look for me.

So what are they saying you did?

Can't put the school's attendance records, which I did.

I'm glad you agree.

I'd admit that.

Thank you, have a good day.

Yeah, yeah.

(ominous music)

The music teacher leaves his computer

open during the fifth period.

He started to ditch science so I could go

and practice guitar, and I changed it on the computer.

Makes sense.

There's this girl in jazz band, Piper.

She started to ditch with me, but then Kevin.

With Kevin?

My best friend, at least he was.

What'd Kevin do?

Kevin found out I wanted to ditch too,

but he's not even in jazz band.

He just wanted to hang out with Piper.

I was the one hanging out with Piper,

so I'm supposed to go and change his apps in a present

so he can hang out with Piper?

Bullshit.

So instead, I gave him three more apps.

Good, send a message.

You got busted and told him as principal.

Kevin.

So I slashed the tires on his bike.

And now you're disappointed.

I am disappointed.

Look, you're gonna hack a mainframe into a choir

and you're going through a back door with no fingerprints.

But more importantly, the second this kid Kevin knew

when you were doing, you gotta loose sand.

Never trust anybody, anybody,

and never let someone get the upper hand up.

Because they'll use it.

All right, I gotta go practice.

I had this dumb winter pageant thing tonight for jazz band.

A pageant?

Oof.

I know.

I said it was dumb.

Well, good luck.

We're gonna talk like men.

I know.

That labor wasn't progressing.

Yeah, it's been dead.

Thanks for picking him up, though.

I don't know what's going on with him these days.

He's acting out.

Yeah.

Growing up is tough.

Is that why you're avoiding it?

That's why he's waiting for it.

Yeah.

He'd really love to see you more often, Jack.

I just picked him up.

I know.

It was really nice.

We had a good talk.

He told me about school.

He would love that to happen more often,

is all I'm saying.

I gotta go to work.

Okay.

Merry Christmas, Jack.

Yeah.

Merry Christmas, Jack.

(g

Fin gumbo The No cover, this rocket better correct this.

I'm just trying to urine this fucking part of me. No, s BF No, CN (c lake sound)

Hi, John.

We know what you did.

Her?

We know what you did.

Okay, first of all, sorry.

Second, could you be more specific?

Honestly, you could be talking about 12 different things right now.

Who are you working for?

Lady, I don't know what you're talking about.

I work for whoever pays me.

You have about 40 seconds to become helpful before you have a terrible accident.

So I'm gonna ask you one more time.

Who hired you to find him?

I knew.

You know who.

I promise you I don't.

If I did, I would tell you, I'm not a scrupulous person.

You can ask anybody.

The intercontinental seismic surveillance system.

Sound familiar?

Yeah, I did that.

It was a weird job.

Somebody was trying to find someone who

was running tests on some weapons systems in

the Arctic, and I found the location.

And I walked.

By who?

I don't know.

I'm telling you, all the communication is encrypted and untraceable.

That's how it's supposed to be.

So if someone like you shows up, I don't have any answers.

Look, I don't ask questions.

I just find people that no one else can find.

It's what I do.

You really don't know what you did?

I guess not.

I mean, I can tell you're very upset about it, though.

Box him up.

Box me up?

Wait, wait.

What do you mean?

Hey!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Is this really necessary?

Hello.

Who plays?

How long you been here?

M-O-R-A?

Mora, the Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority.

Come again?

We are the multilateral international

organization responsible for securing and protecting the

mythological world.

Come with me.

Did you say the mythological world?

Yes.

Right.

So Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster, that kind of thing?

That kind of thing.

OK.

So things that don't actually exist, you guys are responsible for.

Got it.

Shit!

He knows anything.

He ain't talking to them.

All right.

Horseback to the pen, body back to area 32,

and get the pumpkin back in the cryo home.

It's down.

Yes, director.

What the hell was that?

The horseman.

We're questioning all the usual suspects.

The headless horseman?

Hey!

What did that taser thing do to my head?

It's not a taser.

It's an agri-ester.

Just take a deep breath and have a seat, Jack.

What are you doing?

What am I doing here?

What am I doing here? last night at roughly 11 p.m. and PST red one also known as st. Nicholas of

minor was abducted from the North Pole complex the data you retrieve from the

I triple s was used to pinpoint the location which has been secure and

classified several hundred years

use your words are you saying Santa Claus has been kidnapped and you think

I had something to do with it where is it

is that him

Jack the wolf or mallemy Callum drift commander of the ELL the ELL turns out

Jack you didn't know what he was doing somebody hired him to find the complex

and incredibly he did who is a no I don't know yes it does no he doesn't

they always know something sometimes you just got to shake it out of them I'm not

gonna like you I can tell right away out of everyone here I like you the least

Garcia

yeah chief guys are cooperating should we do the thing I'm afraid we're gonna

have to yeah let's talk about this there's nothing to talk about you can't

trust this guy he's on the list what way damn well what this will come out on any

watchlist I know for a fact that wait you don't guess that list you're on it I

checked and now for are you telling me this clown is a level four naughty

lister a level four naughty lister oh

I know this is telling you you have to trust me just remembering this shit bag

isn't gonna help it would feel good but it won't help I'm right here shut up

what do you think we're gonna put him to work no absolutely excuse me you said

you work for whoever pays you today that's me he's not telling us everything

he knows look at him he is telling us everything he knows he just doesn't know

who hired him well I mean how much are we talking

look it is anonymous I don't know who it is but in my line of work I need

insurance you know in case of billing issues so I trojan horse that digital

tracking bug into the VPN are you saying I can track the device and I suggest you

do it we circle back along with pay me thing I know what they paid you will

double it true Garcia come on all right all right that was fine Christmas

wise choice I need my cell phone

whoever did this is in a room where the ruba I work along you used to no offense

but I'm not rolling into a ruba undercover with the giant elf it's e l m

how we can't trust this guy that's why you're holding the leash and this is how

I can find you anywhere on earth your mind until we find him I suggest you get

going

well this is unfortunate no this is what needed to be done I sincerely doubt that

you know I know a guy who's gonna be very upset about this

what are you gonna do with that the world is a mess because they fear nothing

I'm going to give them something to fear I'm going to do in one night which you

have failed to do for centuries and what is that I'm gonna make the world a

better place

what are you doing Oh some of your energy

No

Now, go to sleep, Nicholas. Go to sleep.

What we doing some last minute Christmas shopping?

Gear it up. Grab a car, something practical.

Let's go.

What the hell just happened?

Toy stores.

Toy stores what?

The supply closets are portal stations for

the North Pole Field Network transit system.

I said practical.

Like what a mini man who wants a practical Hot Wheels.

Also what difference does it make?

I gave you a directive.

A directive?

Is that what you think is going on here?

I'm telling you now, you better listen to me because things are about to get real.

How do you adjust to this reality?

No, it doesn't work on everything.

No, you can't try it.

No, you can't drive.

No more questions.

Now get in.

And be careful with those robots.

So you're like the bodyguard for Santa Claus

and the commander of the ELF for SAS National

Force.

Enforcement, logistics, and fortification.

But as far as you're concerned, it stands for Extremely Large Department of Law.

And that's all you do all year?

Just protect Santa.

It's a big job.

Sure, sure.

It's one day, all right?

Like it's a big job for one day.

We work 364 days a year because on that one

day, we deliver presents to several billion

individual domiciles across 37 time zones

without ever being detected by a single human being.

We pray, we rehearse every moment, every stop down to the last gym.

So yeah, it's a lot of work.

364 days?

We have bucks a day off.

Wouldn't it be easier if you broke it up, you know?

Like send different teams out different places, it's more efficient?

No, it doesn't work like that.

He's got to do it all himself.

He doesn't have to.

It's his purpose.

He's a singular force in the universe.

Okay, so worst case scenario, is there

someone that can step in for him like a vice Santa?

Are you listening to me?

No, no one can do what he does.

He knows when you're sleeping.

He knows when you're awake.

And he knows that about every single person on this planet.

He has a list the size of Rhode Island and he checks it twice.

If you were to try to read that list just once, it would take you a decade.

But he does it twice.

And the reason why he's able to do any of it is because he is Santa Claus.

The one and only.

And no one else can execute his mission.

Which is to spread cheer, asshole.

Good feeling.

And then before the fist.

Bring me the weapon.

(dramatic music)

Duplication complete.

Good.

Now, let's see if it works.

Who do you have in mind, Mom?

We'll start with the first name on the list.

(dramatic music)

All right, now we're dark.

Well, it was nice to meet you, Cal.

Good luck with everything.

Thank you so much.

I'm just gonna live here now.

Gonna marry her, leave your focus.

We gotta find your guy.

Not a lot of fun.

How are you, Cal?

A lot of fun.

As a matter of fact, I won the prize

for most fun gift wrapper for 183 years in a row.

Well, I take it back.

(dramatic music)

I'm gonna show you how to do this.

I would suggest you give it a shot.

You see the worst in everyone, Cal.

Let's go and get it.

And it's the key to my work.

You can see a person's worst qualities

just by looking at her.

You look at this guy.

He's married, but not to her.

That's why he has a tan mind where his wedding makes you big.

This guy's about to screw over that guy.

That's why he's laughing too loud.

And this guy, now he's interested.

Why, you ask?

I didn't ask.

Well, I'll tell you.

Shoes, around.

Anyone else at the beach wearing shoes

besides you, me and him, we're all working.

(dramatic music)

Ah, he's a Carmanian get-work.

So is that guy and that guy.

You can tell by the tattoos on their hands.

This is all fascinating.

How about we find the guy we're actually looking for?

That's the guy we're looking for.

The Carmanians are a security detail.

You sure?

I'm sure.

Hey, wait, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

Going to talk to him.

No, no, we gotta go in sideways here.

Remember when I said they're called death marks?

They'll be fine.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

Keep walking.

I need to talk to him now.

Keep walking.

I'm gonna count to five.

Damn words.

Then you're gonna get hurt.

Oh.

(dramatic music)

Listen, dickhead, it's Christmas.

So in the Yuletide spirit, I'm gonna say it one more time.

(dramatic music)

That was so disturbing.

What's this?

What the hell, Ted?

Just give me a minute, sweetheart.

I gotta talk to these absolute morons for a second

and then we'll go get some boba.

Okay.

Where is he?

Who?

You know who?

You really wanna do this?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

And while I'm enjoying this visit

from the Magic Mike Christmas Brigade,

I got a couple ladies waiting on boba teas.

Come on, come on.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Before you implode this man's skull

across this heavenly beach.

Can I have a crack at it?

Look, I'm telling you, for your own health and well-being,

I suggest you leave right now.

You don't know who I know.

All right, well, you know what I know?

I know you bought some information yesterday

and paid quite a bit for it.

Coordinates, the Arctic.

I know this because I'm the one who sold it.

Yeah.

You're the wolf?

No.

Should I be here?

Do you know what you've done by coming here?

My client is not to be missed.

No, no, no.

Who's the client?

New York?

Much worse.

She'll kill us.

She'll kill us all.

Who is it?

I can't say her name.

She will hear.

Write her name in the sand.

(screams)

(suspenseful music)

Rila?

You idiot.

Final?

No!

Rila?

Rila?

(suspenseful music)

(growling)

Now, now.

(growls)

Callum Drift, story warrior of the North Pole.

Rila, the Christmas witch.

It has been many years.

Not enough.

Where is he?

He's right here.

Fast asleep.

Signal from Commander Drift.

Rila, where are you?

(laughs) I need him back unharmed immediately.

It is not to be warrior!

I need M1 team's emotion

to every one of her ancestral haunts.

Yes, Director.

What is it you want?

The same thing I have always wanted

for hundreds of years.

To make them behave.

The time has come.

To punish the naughty of all of them.

Everyone who is on the list.

Everyone who has ever been on the list.

From killers to chairwalkers.

Anyone who's ever lied or neared.

Anyone who's ever been rude or late.

You're talking about almost everyone.

Everyone I see fit!

Tomorrow they will all be punished.

And he is going to hell!

(blows raspberry) You know he doesn't punish people.

Step away, warrior.

Let him go, witch.

I warned you.

And I warned you.

You can't see him yet,

but when you wake up this Christmas morning,

the world will be much, much nicer.

What in the actual?

(buzzer)

Get those teams moving now.

(grunts)

What the hell was that?

What was that?

What the hell was that?

Where is she?

We gotta get out of here.

I don't know, I'm just a middleman.

I broke into deal.

I'm telling you, she did not mess around.

Now.

(blows raspberry)

(whistles)

(bells ringing)

(whistles)

(bells ringing)

(whistles)

(growls)

(growls)

(growls) (growls)

(gun fires)

(screams)

(gun fires)

Sit down, man.

(gun fires)

(gun fires)

(gurgles)

(gurgles)

Get him out of here, he's our only lead.

Don't let him be nice.

(growls)

Come on.

(growls)

(gun fires)

(growls)

(gun fires)

(gun fires) (growls)

(growls)

(grunts)

(growls)

(growls) (growls)

(growls)

(growls)

(grunts) (growls) (growls)

(gun fires)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(growls)

(screams)

(growls)

(growls)

(growls)

(grunts)

(growls)

(growls)

(growls)

(growls)

(growls)

Just gotta rip off their carrots.

I'll remember that next time it comes up.

Wanna give me a hand here?

You'll figure it out.

Let me tell you

How Christmas ends

I'm sorry, I think you're confusing me

with someone who cares.

Tell Grandma I don't have time to pick up her meds.

She can take the bus.

Goodbye.

Asshole in life.

When you're telling me

How you go

But you show me

Creative is my school track

It's the best kind of sorcery I know

(growls)

(growls)

It's still here.

What do you mean it's still there?

It's supposed to come back to me.

The machine isn't working.

Fix it.

Now, or else the next test will be on one of you.

Yes ma'am.

Careful.

That's it.

She asked the broker.

She really wanted to shut him up.

By the time he thaws out, he'll be useless to us.

Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

My guy scanned all the surveillance footage

of actually a 900 year old ogre

with 13 sons who kill on command.

Oh, tracking shapeshifters isn't a nightmare.

She said that she was gonna punish them all, every level.

I'd be more worried about what she didn't say.

She wasn't negotiating.

Kidnapping with no demands.

But usually anyone.

Unfortunately, our only lead is now an ice cube.

Not pointing any fingers.

Carol, not helpful.

Yeah, Carol, not helpful.

So what would you normally do?

I mean, normally I'd be running credit cards,

checking pings our cell phone towers,

trying to build a footprint, her or associates.

Never tracked a witch before.

Dated you.

Right now, I've dated several witches.

What's your point?

Would you have any footprint that I wouldn't know about

because I'm like a regular human being?

If you were gonna check on recent UDM's, what's that?

Unauthorized deployments of magic.

A lot of hits.

Pretty typical stuff.

A couple of abjurations in Nairobi.

A handful of divinations in Santiago and New Orleans.

No, she's a conjurer.

A pair of conjurations, eight days ago,

a few hours apart,

picked up the echo of the resonator in Germany.

The brother.

Who's brother?

Nix.

Santa's got a brother?

Adopted, yes.

She's working with the brother.

We don't know that.

No, but can you think of a better place to hold a link?

Think about it.

It's under a concealment dome

and Maura has no jurisdiction because of the treaty.

He doesn't leave and we don't visit.

That's the deal.

We've busted and Nix not there.

Maura's not going, we're going.

He's never gonna know we're there.

How?

T minus 17 hours, director.

Keep me in the loop every step.

In two hours, I bring the presidents and prime ministers

and kings and queens of everywhere so they can prepare.

Prepare for what?

For the possibility of no Christmas.

Hey, you're never wondering what an action thing is.

That's not how it works, come on.

Come on.

I'm coming.

(indistinct chatter) This is the kind of essential oil.

Dylan asked you to go to his concert tonight

and you said no.

What?

No, it's not what happened.

He actually said I shouldn't go.

He said it was gonna be Wayne.

If he didn't want you to go,

he wouldn't have brought it up.

An actual parent doesn't need an invitation.

They just go, whether the kid likes it or not.

That's what parents do.

Well, we both know that's not my strong suit.

Olivia, look, if you wanted me to go,

he should have just asked me.

He's vulnerable, Jack.

He's a kid and he knows you never show up.

Olivia, I'm at work.

What am I supposed to do?

I don't wanna have to tell you what to do, Jack.

I want you to figure it out on your own

because it's pretty easy.

The concert starts at seven.

Well, I'm not gonna be home by seven.

Just tell Dylan that I--

I'm not gonna be home by seven.

If you wanna tell him something, do it yourself.

(Jack sighs)

What?

I didn't say anything.

(Jack grunts)

(Jack grunts)

Dylan, right?

Yeah.

He's a good kid.

Yeah, I know he's a good kid.

(Jack grunts)

It's not what you think.

His mother and I were never together.

I mean, I'm his father, but I've never been his dad.

She's a doctor now.

She's married to a really good guy and he is a good dad.

So the last thing the kid needs is like,

you know, some spare dad, some generic damn guy

hanging out with the scum of the earth.

He's got nothing to offer him, so.

Honestly, the best thing I can do for the kid

is keep some distance so I don't get in the way

and he's not disappointed all the time.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh, why?

I'm just saying that you're trying not to disappoint him.

Doesn't sound like it's working.

(dramatic music)

Okay, I can't believe I'm asking this, but

what's the deal with Santa and his brother?

(dramatic music)

They used to work together.

Back in the beginning,

Red gave gifts to well-behaved children

and the brother helped keep track of who they were.

Then the brother started making lists

and Red was always uncomfortable with that.

And unlike the idea of wanting lists to misbehave children,

but the brother became obsessed.

So you're saying Santa's brother started the naughty list?

Yes.

They started to punish the kids who were on it.

Red was furious.

So he took the list away

and the brother never forgave him.

He went out on his own, eventually hooking up with the witch

who was also in the punishment game,

organized London and several other naughty territories.

They were together for years, but it ended badly.

Saying his brother had a name or is it just Santa's brother?

His name is Krampus.

(dramatic music)

All right, listen to me.

I don't know what's waiting for us in here,

but the brother, the witch, they're extremely dangerous.

They're not in the ways that you're used to.

If you see them, do not engage.

So don't pick a fight with the witch.

Got it.

If Nick is here, he's probably being held in the dungeon.

There's a door-round back that the guard uses.

We're gonna have to quietly sneak through the courtyard,

pass the guillotines, break it and head down.

Also, do not touch anything.

Under any circumstances, there is much in here

that is not of the natural world.

You're human, therefore weak.

So if you need to touch anything, you need to do it.

Wait a minute.

Are you not human?

Do I look human?

(dramatic music)

(eerie music)

Hey, so listen to me.

Nick, if you don't need me here,

I might just go back to the car.

Hellhounds.

Hellhounds?

(eerie music)

(eerie music)

Stand back.

(eerie music)

Ellen, distract them.

(eerie music)

(eerie music)

(eerie music)

(eerie music) (eerie music)

What'd you do?

We didn't even do anything.

(eerie music)

Holy shit.

Whoa, whoa.

My name is Commander of the ELF.

We are not these.

Yeah, we're not these.

We're not these.

(eerie music)

This was in his pocket.

All right, I can explain that.

I can explain that.

(thudding)

I told you not to touch anything.

It was an innocent mistake.

He tried to steal a priceless piece of gold

from the Dark Lord of Winter.

Not innocent and not a mistake.

Well, who is this old gold

just lying out in an open treasure chest?

It's a tribute box to Krampus.

Gascom, they leave him gifts.

You stole from it.

I shouldn't be surprised.

Is that because I happen to be on the list?

You disappointed in me too, Cap.

I have no expectations of you, Jack,

so I can't be disappointed.

You know, I got problems on my own.

I owe somebody a lot of money that I don't have.

I see this giant pile of gold sitting there.

You look at it a certain way, what choice did I even have?

You have every choice.

It's all choices.

You don't just happen to be on the list, Jack.

You put yourself there.

You decide to steal gold.

You decide to only look out for yourself

over everyone else on this earth.

Every one of those kids who are counting on us.

Counting on me to do my job.

Nick always says that every decision,

big or small, is an opportunity.

To be nice, to be good, or not.

I was one day away from retirement, and this happens.

After 542 years,

I resigned yesterday.

I did.

Why?

I couldn't see it anymore.

Couldn't see why.

Doesn't matter.

(dramatic music)

(man yelling)

Is that him?

What are they doing?

(man yelling)

(crowd cheering)

They're playing crapper's snob.

What do you mean, shob?

It's their first game of crapper's snob.

Number one defeated,

is not Christmas!

(man yelling)

Callum Drift.

Lord grab us.

The festivities were just beginning,

but I don't remember inviting you.

You shouldn't be here.

You know you shouldn't be here,

and yet where you are, and with a mortal.

Ah, I'm Jack O'Malley.

I didn't, I'm not.

We didn't even, I mean, obviously we,

I just met him today.

The big one was on with this.

And Lord Andrés.

Thank you.

Just what I wanted for Christmas.

Grab us, I can explain.

He was trying to find him,

and you thought he would be here.

Well guess what, Lord Andrés?

It's not him.

Last night he was taken from the compound by the witch.

I know that she was here not long ago.

Are you accusing me of something?

Taste.

You and she were partners once.

From in the countryside, the villages.

Punishing people.

Yes.

But back then she was glorious.

And over the 18 feet high, the skin of an elephant,

dying in the tear of tails.

And yes, punishing us to grow this winter.

We had some wonderful times together.

But I gave up that work, remember.

I spent 700 years menacing the naughty,

trying to scare me to decency.

I did my part!

The only punishment I can now is for fun.

I'm concerned for enjoying his headache on Grandpa's lap.

On Grandpa's lap.

But today is not Grandpa's lap.

And this house is not his name.

It is always Grandpa's lap!

(dramatic music)

Grandpa's lap!

Why was she here?

Many years ago she gave me a gift.

She came because she wanted it back.

A gift, one gift.

The glass cafe.

While it's face, a simple glass logo.

But its true purpose is notorious.

Tremendously punishing.

She wants to punish them all.

The glass cafe is solid, you.

A place for bad wine.

Grandpa's I need to find her.

Let me go.

And why did I do that?

Because we need her.

Now more than ever we need her.

And now that.

Let me go.

(dramatic music)

Nordaman, you are not going anywhere.

You get down and deliver this message to that morass come.

There is a price for this intrusion.

Now and forever it belongs to me.

(audience laughing)

So I just walk out of here.

I suggest you find.

You learn to love it.

Take you away.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Sorry, wait, Lord, Mr. Lord Cremitz.

Um, you and I aren't so different.

We're pretty different,

but I think we have some things in common.

Do you though?

Yeah.

I mean, you strike me as a guy that likes to have a good time,

bit of a gambler.

Well, so am I.

Now, when we came in here,

my man told me that he thought he could beat you

at your game, uh, Cropper slot.

Now, initially I said, no way,

but the more I see him getting riled up,

I'm starting to like my odds.

So just hear me out.

If you win, we go to your dungeon forever.

If he wins, we walk.

Unless you don't want him for some reason.

I mean, I get that he's a big guy.

No shame.

Lot of people watching.

(audience laughing)

Emphasis.

I love it.

(audience laughing)

Sleep or shit, I have to go.

(audience laughing)

(audience laughing)

The rules are as follows.

The contestants will exchange blows in turn.

The first to be knocked out or done.

Leases.

First touch.

That's your.

(audience laughing)

I really wish there was another way that we could do this.

I'm sure you do.

He's still your brother.

And he never gave up on you.

What would you know about him?

I know him.

Take your best shlub.

(audience laughing)

Interesting.

My turn!

(audience laughing)

I could be merciful and kill him on the first touch.

But what fun would that be?

(audience laughing)

Oh my God.

(audience laughing)

You know what I mean?

You just had the shit out of me.

Yeah, that's what I'm gonna say.

I love this guy!

I can't believe it, it was a winter demigod.

Oh, I can't believe it.

Back and touch!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Let me make an issue for you.

(audience laughing)

Come on.

Come.

Come on.

(clicking)

(clicking)

(dramatic music)

Cover us.

(audience laughing)

(dramatic music)

Come on!

(audience laughing)

I thought I had some shady friends.

(laughing)

I can't believe that worked.

Yeah, sorry about that.

It's all I could come up with.

No, it was great.

I misjudged you.

Now what you'd expect from a class four naughty lister, right?

What's level four?

But that's what I'm saying.

You could have left, but you didn't.

Thank you.

All right.

Should we go find your guy?

Let's save Christmas.

Right.

Say it.

I can't.

Yes, you can't say it.

I don't want to.

Let's save Christmas.

I'm not gonna say that.

I'm gonna need you to say, let's save Christmas.

All right, got it.

Okay.

Let's save Christmas.

That was terrible.

Okay.

All right.

Let's save Christmas.

There it is.

All right, so the songbook.

What's the deal with that?

The glossy pig.

The glossy pig gets German for glass cage.

Well, what do you think we was trying to do?

Shh.

Green is trying to be green.

We got a shot.

Mom, ready for another test?

Good.

The next name on the list?

No.

I have a better idea.

She said she wanted to punish them all.

It seems like the glass cage was just for one person.

It's possible she can make more of them with like,

witch magic or she would need millions of them.

She's immensely powerful,

but that's a big myth for a contour.

Okay.

I mean, honestly,

the only place that has that kind of manufactured passive.

Look out!

(dramatic music)

(piano music)

Is something that happens to you a lot?

Unexplained player piano in the middle

of a German highway.

No, this is rare.

It's for you.

Oh, don't you think?

Just get back in the truck.

We'll drive right around the hearts of hand.

I'll be up to over there.

This is how it starts.

You're doing it.

(piano music)

See?

Dylan.

Can you send me this stupid present

instead of coming to this thing?

Wait, what?

Because if you don't wanna come, I don't care.

I wanted to be there.

I really did.

Then something--

You have to stop, okay?

You're gonna have to pretend

because my mom is guilt-tripping you.

I'm not pretending.

I really wanna find a way--

You never come to anything.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Whatever, I gotta go.

Just don't send me any more stupid gifts, okay?

Wait, wait, Dylan, what'd you mean by that?

This thing.

Dylan, don't touch that.

No, don't, wait.

Do you seriously think that there's any--

Listen to me, put that down.

Because I'm here to tell you that.

What is this?

What's going on?

What's happening?

Put that down.

Where'd he go?

Where'd he go?

I don't know.

(eerie music)

Jack?

Where are you?

Find me.

(eerie music)

Dad?

Dad?

Dylan! What's going on?

Where are we?

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

It worked.

Jack O'Malley, level four.

What a perfect way to start my collection.

Bring production online.

(eerie music)

Tonight, I will deliver one of these

to every single deviant on the list.

And when they wake up and open their gift,

they'll join my collection

and the world will be in the hands of the righteous.

Finally, tonight, I make the ride.

Drip, we have drips.

What happened?

What do you know about the philosophy?

Mythical magic, snow globe,

you still have drizzled their body.

Prophets has it.

Why? Not anymore.

The witch has it.

And I think you're trying to punish everyone on the list.

Wait, slow down.

Well, Bally just got gloated and disappeared.

What?

His kid too.

Oh dear Lord.

Ronomelli's tag.

Yes, director.

Zoe, I think she's trying to mass produce the philosophy.

How could she possibly do that?

Think about it, what's the one place that's capable

of something like that?

The North Pole?

But Nick's not there, the complex runs on his power,

that can't be it.

Unless-- Unless he never left.

The snow cap, the jet.

Drones, diversions.

Nick is still there.

Director, I am not picking up the signal

for O'Malley's tracker.

Because he's unjust at home.

But I've been talking to your team all night.

Yeah?

Try Bartridge.

Connect to Bartridge.

Yes, director.

Hi, Cal.

Hey, how you holding up, MC?

Oh, I can't sleep, just keeping myself busy baking cookies

for him, for when he comes home.

Well, he's gonna love that.

What do you got, bacon?

Just pulled out a fresh batch of macaroons.

He'll love that.

Hang in, and I'll keep you posted.

Thanks.

That's not her.

What do you mean?

Nick hates macaroons.

They're shape shifters.

The witch, the lads, they're all shape shifters.

The North Pole has been taken.

They're on to us.

Where are we?

What's happening?

Okay, okay, okay, now listen.

Now I know what this is gonna sound like.

Basically,

Santa is missing,

and that giant lady is a witch,

and she got the snow globes from a giant, demonic,

Christmas goat man.

And now they're gonna make millions of them

with that magical photocopier thing.

Look, I don't have all the technical details,

but basically these globes are meant to imprison

the naughty people forever.

Forever?

Yeah, I don't know. Forever?

Not forever, I didn't scratch that last one.

Remember, I can't trust anyone.

I've got a signal.

O'Malley is here somewhere.

We're close.

Hey, Chief.

Fred?

I'll let the team know that you're back.

How about you go?

Shape shifters.

Good tidings.

It says he should be right here.

The old tunnel system.

The tunnel system.

Words right beneath your wristful or jump.

Let's go.

Is this happening because I was ditching?

What?

Is it because I slashed Kevin's tires?

No, no, no, no, no, no, Dylan.

You've done this with naughty people, didn't you?

Well, she said that, but--

What did I do?

Dylan, look at me.

You may have done some things that you shouldn't have.

Everybody does, everybody.

There is nothing wrong with you.

You're only in here because of me.

What did you do?

A lot of stuff.

Long list.

But bigger than any of that is what I didn't do.

What are you talking about?

I've been a terrible father.

It's not true.

Yes, it is.

It is.

I hadn't been around.

I told myself I was doing you a favor, which is bullshit.

It was bad for you.

And it was terrible for me.

I've made some mistakes, pal.

I know that.

But I also know that I can do better.

And I know that's easier said than done.

I know it's a lot of work and I hope it's not too late.

(audience laughing)

Every day, every decision is an opportunity.

I wanna start taking some of those.

So I'm not asking you to lean me,

just asking for you to give me a chance.

I know I may never be the greatest father in the world,

but I know I can do better.

And I'm telling you right now that I promise

I will never stop trying.

(tense music)

(heavy breathing)

What just happened?

I think it's got a little bit nicer.

Can we get out of here?

Yeah.

First we gotta find somebody, come on.

Oh, yeah.

If you could make any toy in the world real right now,

what would it be?

Wonder Woman, Tim.

You all right?

Yeah, yeah.

It's good to see you.

Dad?

Buddy, come here.

I want you to meet some friends.

Cal, Zoe, this is my son, Dylan.

What have only Dylan and dad's told me so much about you.

Welcome to the North Pole.

I can't believe she got the old

left applicator back online again.

This thing has been out of commission since the late 1800s.

This thing was cranking out snow globes like rat to earth

and it just stopped like somebody pulled the plug.

Cal, we saw her, she said she was gonna do the ride herself.

What?

Deliver one of these snow globes to everybody on the list.

That's impossible.

This lady won't lift off.

Without him.

Can't let that sleigh take off.

It's so great at an access point, hanger.

Wait.

Chief.

I see that.

Cal.

Ma'am.

Where is he?

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

Greetings, stop!

I was just leaving.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music) (dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

Nick, I'm not right.

I got you.

(dramatic music)

Red, come back to me.

Come back to me, boss.

Wake up.

Nick, Nick, it's Cal.

(dramatic music)

Cal!

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

Holy shit.

Jack.

Run.

No way, man.

For a guy like me, there's worse ways to go out

than by trying to save Santa Claus.

Rila!

It's time for you to go.

Oh, I'll go, but I am taking him with me.

You're not taking him anywhere.

His power has been wasted for far too long.

The punishing begins tonight.

You're gonna have to go through me first.

With pleasure.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

You imbeciles have no idea to talk to a woman like this.

Rila.

She's my ex.

Hello, my love.

Get out of here, Grumpus.

I can't do that.

And lovely as it is to see our miserable face,

my Grump is somewhere to be.

(dramatic music)

Just like all times.

(dramatic music)

(grunting)

Haven't you had enough?

You wanna take him, you're gonna have to kill me.

Come on, Grumpus.

Your sacrifice will be nothing.

(grunting)

Enough!

These last words for your most faithful warrior.

Only one.

(yelling)

(dramatic music)

Merry Christmas, witch.

(dramatic music)

(grunting)

(yelling)

(grunting)

Oh, look at you.

Oh, shut up.

Thank you.

Okay.

Yeah.

(dramatic music)

It took you so long.

(laughing)

(dramatic music)

Oh, look what the cat dragged in.

Let's not get mushy.

Thank you, brother.

Merry Christmas.

Get out of there.

You wanna maybe stick around a while?

Don't push it.

Get to work.

And you, I want to be much.

(whistling)

Take this.

Happy Christmas!

(yelling)

Oh my God.

Honey, where are you?

Mom, you're not gonna believe that.

(dramatic music)

Skytrain, this is Partridge.

Back in the chair and back on track.

Good to have you back, ma'am.

(dramatic music) (chattering)

(dramatic music)

Dylan.

Jack.

Hi.

Thanks for your help today.

You have too.

I know.

All this is a go, 30 seconds to lunch.

Be a dreamt.

Have a great ride.

Merry Christmas, director.

Dylan, Jack.

You guys coming?

Really?

Come on, let's go.

We gotta roll.

Red one, you are clear for takeoff.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

Copy that.

We're coming at you.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

Jack, Jack.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

He really does it, doesn't he?

Goes everywhere in the entire world in one night.

He's cooler than I thought he was.

And a lot more athletic.

Yeah, guy's a beast.

The guy is a beast.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

You're seeing it, aren't you?

I knew you'd get it back.

I lost it there for a while, mate.

It's easy to lose it, Cal.

The important thing is to keep trying.

(dramatic music)

Nick, I'd like to stay on, if you'll have me.

You gotta come, Henry.

(dramatic music)

Did we just say it, Christmas?

Did you say it, Christmas?

I think we just say it, Christmas.

(dramatic music) Hey, oh, oh

You better watch out

You better not cry

Better not, not, not

Tell me why

Say it, I'm gonna fuck it

I'm gonna fuck it

I'm gonna fuck it

I'm gonna fuck it

Say it, I'm gonna fuck it

I'm gonna make it

I'm gonna fuck it