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THE CHEROKEE KID

The Wild West created man amazing legends:

Geronimo, Wyatt Earp, Nat Love,

all of them deadly but none deadlier than this man.

The Cherokee Kid.

So you're the undertaker.

Now it's your turn to die.

Good night, kid. Sweet dreams.

- God, is he dead? - He's graveyard dead.

Perhaps you'd like to double this reward.

I have some interesting railroad.

I bury my dead before any business transpires, Mr. Bloomington.

I have here some deeds that I have...

You deaf ? A brave man has died, he deserves a proper eulogy.

Well, how long do you think it's going to finish eulogizing...?

How long would it take to eulogise a great man like Montezuma,

or Thomas Jefferson or Robin Hood? How long?

We'll bury this man at noon tomorrow.

Noon tomorrow.

So many people here from far and wide

because a man has died.

- But who exactly was this man? - You know who he was!

- You and I raised him! You tell 'em!

- You tell 'em who he was! - I will, mother.

You tell 'em what a good boy he was!

Elizabeth, there are others here who would like to get a word.

That's right! I, Juan Nepomuceno Cortina,

hero of the Mexican people would like to speak.

For it is I who taught the Cherokee Kid everything he knows.

That's why he's laid up in that box now.

The Cherokee Kid was the most novel,

most courageous human being the world has ever known.

Well, let us begin at the very beginning.

Before he became known as the Cherokee Kid,

the Cherokee Kid was just a kid.

His name was Isaiah Turner.

He had a big brother named Jedediah.

Now even back then, the railroad men were forcing the homesteaders

to sell their land for pennies.

And the boys' father stood up to them that killed him like a dog.

The very next day, Jedediah took his revenge.

He sneak into the railroad camp

and shot the men who took his father's life.

Jed! Now, don't you mistake stupidity for courage!

That night, Mama give to the boys their father's favourite hat.

When the bad men came,

Mama and Jedediah put their plan into action,

that forced a young Isaiah into a wood box.

I wont let you lynch my baby.

I will kill him myself before I let you at him.

- No, Mama! No! - Come on, baby. Let it go! Let it go!!

No, baby. I didn't shoot Jed.

We was just pretending so that Jed could get away.

You okay, Mr. Bloomington?

Nobody can stand in the way of progress. Go! Get him!

God.

I got him!

Like the terrified antelope,

the brave little kid was running and running night and day.

Guided only by his still developing sense of direction,

he wandered aimlessly not knowing where to go.

Till one day, the hand of fate

guided him into the lap of good fortune.

Reverend and Mrs. Peel having no children of their own,

believed young Isaiah to be a gift from God.

Pow! Got you, Bloomington!

Pow! I got you too, Bonner!

Reverend, tell him what the good book say.

Tell him what it say about killing.

Son, the Bible sayeth, "Thou shalt not kill!"

The Bible say, "Eye for an eye." So I'm gonna shoot him in the eye!

Pow! Pow! Pow!

Then, oh, about 18 years later,

the kid had grown into a strong sure-footed young man.

And still he clung to his childhood dreams.

Bonner, Bloomington, you're both dead.

- Isaiah! - Coming, Ma!

EL DUSTO, TEXAS

One day in town, the kid stumbled across the face of the man

he hated with every breath he took.

Bloomington was now the Mayor of El Paso,

he was coming to Pinedale to speak.

Isaiah vowed to go there and silence him forever.

Just one sandwich, Ma?

Reverend, you tell him that if he gets hungry,

he can just come on home.

I'll tell him, Mother.

We know that this is all about Bloomington. Tell him.

Son, violence is not the answer.

Ma, Pa, I can't thank you enough for taking me and raising me

when I lost my family.

But I got to go and find out who I am. I love you, and I'm gonna miss you.

- Oh, Ma, can I ask you something? - Yes, baby?

Ever since I was little, whenever you talk to me,

you talk to him and I'll be standing right here.

You tell him that he is gonna go and get himself killed.

Now you tell him.

Come on, [Old Line]. Well, Pa, I'm gonna be going.

Ho! Bye!

I'm okay. I'm okay, Pa.

I'm just gonna go walking, Pa, because he kind of touchy right now.

Come on.

"Vengeance is mine," said the Lord!

Killing is a sin! And Pinedale's the other way!

I know! That way!

One sandwich. He'll be back here before sundown,

if he ever can find this place.

Oh, Charles. He took that rusty gun off the mantle!

Thus, began his magnificent quest to find the town called Pinedale

and to find the despicable excuse for a man

who had killed his family.

Oh, man. Where am I?

When he exhausted his supply of sandwiches,

he feasted on natural foods and wild game.

Hello? Anybody home? Just looking for some food.

Just me and you, turkey. And one of us got to die!

Let me go, you dirty low-down scraggly two-legged cockroach!

Oh! Why you.

What kind of crook knocks over a whore house?

Why don't you go out and hit a bank?

Come on, give me some loving you cheap whore!

Cheap? I ain't never done it for free in my life!

I ain't never paid for it. Come on!

- Come on you lie down here. - Get off of me!

Why don't you shut that mouth of yours before the bats come flying out!

- Shut up! - You paying for this.

Now, I know you got the money and you paying for this!

- Get off of me. - What?

- Hi. - You dead, boy.

- I think he's dead. - I killed a man with a turkey.

What will I do? They will send me to jail.

Lord O'Mighty, I've been saved by a coloured boy!

A sweet kind, brave, extremely good looking,

very light complected, honey breath!

Ma'am, ma'am, you are truly a lovely and inviting woman

and all the womanly parts a man would want,

it's just that I ain't never been with a woman before

and I had some turkey before

and I'd rather have some of that bird, ma'am.

What's that say on his belt?

His name is Jake Carver. Can't you read?

Of course I can! I just can't read English. I's French.

Again, good fortune smiled on our hero.

Yeah, I killed Jake Carver. You got something to say about that?

He took refuge for the night in a charming little cottage

where a nice Christian girl

prepared for him a delicious home-cooked meal.

- Gobble-gobble. - Gobble-gobble.

All night long, he dreamed of left-over turkey sandwiches.

But in the morning, the girl and the bird had flown the coop.

She took the turkey!

Bloomington will be in Pinedale today,

Isaiah had to get there by hook or by crook.

Hey! How you doing, gentlemen?

- Morning. - Morning. Howdy do?

- Who the hell are you? - I'm Jake Carver.

- Jake Carver? - Yes, I am.

Damn! Well, it sure hell is a small world, ain't it?

It sure is!

- See, now we're Jake Carver's gang! - Yep!

Yeah! Howdy!

- Hey, Jake, I'm your cousin. - I'm your cousin too.

I ain't your cousin, that makes me your aunt.

Wait a minute, let me explain.

Jim Bob, Jake's not back. Dated a skunk, no sign of the girl.

Wait a minute, you don't think I killed him, did you?

Jake was my best friend. That whore killed him!

I always told Jake that these whores were gonna be the death of him.

You know how he was, always chasing women.

From the time he was young,

he was trying to look up the girl's petticoats. I'd say, "Stop."

It's just too much stuff. He wouldn't listen to me.

And we'd playing tag and hide-and-go seek.

But Jake didn't like them kind of games. No, sir, he didn't.

He'd take our arms behind our back and he'd twist 'em, till we screamed!

And then he had this floorboard from his mommy's house

and he would take it and whoop us upside the head!

He'd take whiskey and pour it down my throat.

That's our Jake!

Well, it's a shame Jake's gone now

because he had a big job for us to do.

- What kind of job? - He didn't tell you?

- He didn't tell me about no job. - Oh, this, this, this was a big job.

This was the biggest job. That's why he brought me here.

- We was gonna rob a bank. - Where?

- In Pinedale. - Pinedale?

Yeah. A lot of money there too but...

The guy's gonna stay in that bank now,

Jake is gone, he had the plans...

I'm gonna go out and bury him, put them animals, tie him up.

You think it's like a dead dog, but it's a person.

You see his big head

Horses gets poops, I'm gonna get 'em

because I don't want to see that.

- Nice meeting you. - All bet.

You're going the wrong way, friend.

Pinedale's goes back 10 miles, north here.

Well, I figured I'll just...

But then again, it will be right to honour Jake

by robbing that bank.

If you tell that wasn't the way out, I wouldn't go that way.

PINEDALE, TEXAS

Here's the new plan. We go in the bank.

And you tell the teller, you're robbing the bank.

And then, you rob the bank.

Let me think about this plan for awhile.

Maybe I'll take a couple more minutes before just going in there.

Can I help you?

- How you doing? - I'm fine.

- Smart tie you got on there. - Thank you. I bought it in St. Louis.

My grandmother was buried there.

- That's a dangerous place. - Yeah.

- Whose used by a rabbit-rabbit. - A rabbit-rabbit?

- A rabbit with rabies. - A rabbit with rabies?

I thought about twin rabbits.

- No, one rabbit with rabies. - I'm sorry to hear that.

- How can I help you? - I was thinking about...

Maybe you wanna open a new account

because if you do today, you get gifts.

For example, if you give us $25, you get this.

It's a cake of Grandpa's pine tar soap.

I have heard about this.

- With witch hazel? - Yes.

- Will open up your pores. - Smells fresh.

It will leave you refreshingly clean.

Can I ask friends that need to be cleaned?

- Yes. - You're a very nice man.

Thank you. You too.

- Billy Bob, if... - It is Jim. It's Jim Bob.

I'm sorry, all them Bob's throw me off.

I can't get the Bob's right.

- It's Jim Bob. - I wanna show you something.

If we give him $25 to start an account, we'll get some free pine tar soap.

As much as we're on the road together, this could kill the stinkies.

I don't take a bath.

- You just go over there, rob the bank. - I'm just thinking about how you smell.

- They don't like the soap. - If they give us $100 to deposit,

- they get a gingham apron. - Hush my mouth!

And I cook. Rabbit.

- I hope it's not rabid. - Oh, that's funny. You a funny man.

We hand embroider your name right across the front of the apron.

- My name's Isaiah. - Beautiful name.

- It's Biblical. - God bless you.

That was my grandmother's name. It's a man's name

but she was very mannish.

We'll put the name here just like it says "Teller" for me.

- That's your name? - No, that's my job.

So, you know, why don't you go tell 'em about the apron.

You are not gonna believe this. They have aprons.

We put a hundred dollars in, now which you want me to tell him?

Just tell 'em we're here to rob the bank!

You don't have to spit on me.

These gentlemen are here to rob the bank!

I forgot to tell you, if you give us $300 to deposit,

you get this nice, big gun.

The kid knew that Bloomington was close by, he could smell him.

Unfortunately, Frank Bonner had already sniffed out the kid.

All right, where is he?

Mr. Bloomington would like to meet the man who shot Jake Carver.

Well, there's the brave gentleman, Mr. Bonner.

You done good, boy. Saved us a whole heap of embarrassment.

Here's your reward.

Don't spend it all in one place!

- What's the matter, son? - I ain't your son.

Well, I don't know about that.

I done me a whole lot coloured whores. I might be your daddy.

What is that, boy?

You actually might be dangerous if you had yourself a real gun.

You're a fool.

Somebody kill that son of a bitch!

Then the kid heard the voice that had been hunting his nightmares

since he was 10 years old.

I'm sorry, but nobody can stand in the way of progress!

And friends, progress is steaming your way on the American railroad.

Now, you gonna climb on board, or you gonna get left behind?

I'm the man who brought the railroads to Fort Worth and Abilene.

I wanna bring the railroad through Pinedale,

to El Paso up to Denver, on up to San Francisco!

Now, I have been asked to consider

running for a governor of this state on the next election.

If I do, when elected, I promise to make available

all the land that I've invested in to the Southland railroad.

- I'm inviting you... - To give up your lands

so this man's pocket can get fatter.

Young man, I'm the one that's supposed to be shooting your mouth off up here.

My mother tried to shoot your mouth off, that's why you got that scar.

I'm here to kill you.

- Give the word! Let's go! - Hurry!

Look out! Where'd he go?

Get out of here, I'm gonna kill you!

Got to go, guys!

Mr. Bonner.

I hate to add insult to injury but I need your help.

I think back a number of years, the night almost got my head blown off,

you pursued a dangerous criminal into the woods.

Yes, I tracked him down like a dog and I shot him twice.

Well, that negro that shot you in the ass today,

he seems to be same said criminal.

He knew all about that night.

You are a lying son of a bitch just like that

whoring mother of yours.

Now, there's a fugitive in question

who has wounded this law abiding citizen.

I am hereby offering a $1000 reward for his carcass.

But you better move fast boys.

Because Mr. Bonner's job is on the line.

And once he gets the lead out of his ass.

He's gonna be movin' fast as hell.

- Let's go down to Ellie May's, and have a little cake, shall we?

The kid knew he had to lay low for a little bit.

So he sought refuge with a man of the mountains.

A noble savage who lived alone in the wilderness.

A gentle man, modest.

A man who always heeded nature's call.

Pee break.

The ole pissing trick. It always works.

Because of the kid's gift of gab, and the mountain man's loneliness,

a strange friendship began.

What's your name?

- My name's Otter Bob. - Not "thee" Otter Bob?

Well, I'm Otter Bob.

When I read about you, they said you be a big tall man,

like the way you look now.

It's hard to believe that you're really here.

Let me ask you something. How big do you think a otter is?

I don't know. I ain't never seen one.

About like that.

Now, if a buffalo was behind me right now, bam I could kill them,

because they're big as a house.

Goddamn Bill Coty, that arrogant son of a bitch.

Sure, Buffalo Bill's got a better ring to it,

but I killed a thousand otters in two days.

- He never killed a thousand buffalo. - You know Buffalo Bill?

Yeah, I know him.

That's nice. I mean...

I always read books about mountain men

and wanted to be a mountain man.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You read?

Yeah, my mama taught me and my brother Jedediah to read.

That's why I was in the back of your wagon...

I asked you if you could read.

Now, you see, I got this here book,

been carrying it around with me for about a year now,

and I really like it.

- You wanna look at it? - That's one of them dirty books.

- It's not a dirty book. - Yes, it's one of them dirty.

Here's what I was thinking.

Maybe you could teach me enough to read that.

Where I could just take it and go off,

and be by myself and read and not bother anybody.

FiFi and Lola luxuriate in the bathtub.

- Is that FiFi with the dark hair? - Yeah.

I knew it!

- FiFi's wild! - Go on, read some more.

- I tell you what. - Yeah?

You take me to El Paso, Texas, and by the time we get there,

you'll be able to read the book.

I'm going to Idaho.

We'll talk about it in the morning, all right?

Could I use one of the furs as a blanket?

- One of my furs? - Yeah, one that you're not using.

- I'm using them all. - You can't.

I use them all.

Look, you want a skin?

Here right here is...

That's a bowie knife. Jim gave it to me long time ago.

You take that, go on out there and kill yourself a critter,

make a blanky out of him.

Good morning.

Maybe it's a good morning for you. I had to sleep on the ground.

- What you eating? - Your blanket.

What kind of mountain man would a kill a little defenceless bunny?

- Like a chance to kill a new... - Leg?

Okay.

I was thinking about what we're talking about last night.

Idaho's very close to El Paso.

So you ride along with me but you got to teach me to read.

It's a deal but you got to teach me something too.

- Like? - How to be a mountain man.

How to use a knife and hunt, shoot a gun,

tomahawk, make a fire with rocks, make coffee,

skin a bear, make some pants out of it, make my own blanket.

Make a hat with some fur around it, track.

Disappear and know which plants not to touch so I don't stick myself

and bleed to death..

Over the next several months,

the wise and wily mountain man handed down the secrets of survival

to his fervent pupil,

much the way Moses handed down the stone tablets.

The kid learned rapidly. Nature to him became second nature.

And the wilderness became his home.

Think you got the last month.

- Stupid fish. Making me mad now. - What's that?

- This fish that you eat. - You are really stupid.

No way!

Good.

Good. You can kill a cup.

Thanks, Bob.

- Where'd you get that hat? - It's my daddy's hat.

- There's a Cherokee feather. - He was half Cherokee.

And your daddy was in many, many battles and won them all!

You know how I know?

- You see on left feather? - Yeah.

Those little marks here they called coots.

Each coots is a battle. That your daddy won.

Your daddy was a great warrior.

Daddy was.

Okay, got three bob cats here, that's five dollars a piece

That's right.

I got six otters and that's four dollars a piece, right?

Oh yeah, four a piece.

And I got one mountain lion, ten dollars a piece.

- You got a mountain lion? - That's right.

You good! You good!

That's right, and one coyote. Three dollars, right?

Well, since it's you, I'll give you three dollars for it.

What does that mean there?

- How much is that all? - Six times four.

- That's a lot, ain't it? - Carry that two and...

- Oh, Bob.you a rich man. - Yeah.

I owe you 26 dollars.

No, sir. That's not twenty six dollars. That's fifty two dollars.

- No, it's twenty six. - No, sir. That's fifty two dollars.

Come on, Bob. Who you gonna believe? Me or him?

Well, seeing that the young man's like a son to me.

And you, you're a lying, cheating, son of a bitch.

Now, come on, Bob. I'm just doing business. I've been fair.

I'm gonna believe him!

I've been doing it for five years.

Get 52 dollars. And get the pick sticker out.

You killed him.

- I hope I did. - You...

Take a bottle of whiskey. Let me in.

That's how he did cheated me. That'd be five buck.

- So now we stealing and killing? - Yeah.

- What the hell? - No, this ain't what it look like.

He was cheating on... Wait. Come on now. Hold on!

Bob, wait! Stop, Bob!

Bob! Bob!

Bob! Wait! Bob, slow down!

Brighten up a little bit. There's nobody gonna find us here.

They're not gonna do us any harm.

I ain't worried about that.

I'm just wondering why you trusted me today.

Well, if a man can't trust his own best friend,

who can he trust?

Now, you my best friend, too, Bob.

Yeah.

I ain't never had a drink, Bob.

Well, it's about time, then, huh?

Wanna help me eat this lizard?

It'll take the stink right off the lizard.

I won't give you too much.

You're gonna love that lizard after this.

This is nasty. This'll grow toenails on a dead man!

- I'm gonna have some more. - All right.

- This lizard reminds me of how I killed my first bear.

You didn't kill no bear.

You put it on a stick, put it over the fire

and they'll come sneaking up.

And then you jump right on their back.

They get crazy about the lizard, you got them around the neck.

- You was on his back? - You're choking him...

- You was on his back? - Yes!

And I was choking him, his eyeballs just went...

I mean, they just popped right out

like that so I took out my knife and went...

And bam! Beneath this old tree and I took my knife

and then I went and slit his throat right like that.

That's when I became a mountain man.

You're not a mountain man

until you have killed your first bear with your bare hands.

- Hold this. - What?

If you can remember what I taught you, then you will be a great bear hunter.

I'm gonna go get a bear.

I have told you everything that I know how to do it, so I want you to do...

Isaiah! Isaiah!

Isaiah! I was just joking!

I didn't them just with my hands! I had a gun!

There you go. Come here. Come here, babe. Come here.

I got a nice... Why do you sneak up on me?

Hey, there. I got a nice little look.

I got you. You got me. I got you.

He's small, but he's mean.

Come on over here and have a drink, mountain man.

I'm a mountain man.

Well...

You're telling me that he's hanging out with an old timer.

And you ain't gonna find them. Otter Bob's sly as a fox.

He's the best mountain man in Texas.

Oh, he's the best mountain man. Yes.

I'm the best tracker in Texas.

Okay, Bob.

I told you it's empty. You finished it off two days ago.

Bob, just sit down.

Billy, I told you not to catch that hawk! Shut up, Bob.

- There's nobody out there. - Shut up, I'll kill you.

- Put the gun down. - I'll kill you.

- How about now. I'll kill you. - Put the gun down.

Hold, hold, snake.

- Down move. I got it. Down move. - It's nothing.

- What snake? - Right there.

I see it. Don't shoot it. Let me get it. Don't shoot it.

Twig snake, I didn't see it at first. Underneath my foot, right.

It's gone, you save my life. Just give me the gun.

Totally unaware that Frank Bonner was thundering toward them,

the kid and Otter Bob slept like little babies that night.

- Good morning, Bob. - Snake.

- Bob, you're just hallucinating. - Between your legs.

- You're just confused, all right. - He's a big one!

That's my "pet" snake. He's my friend.

Got to do it.

Bob, no. Bob. Bob, no! Bob! God, no, Bob, don't!

Thank you.

I feel pretty good about it myself.

Mighty good sipping whiskey.

Well, there's plenty more where that came from, old timer.

Now, look...

We've been tracking him for three months.

So why don't you just tell me where that nigger is.

"Nigger." I always thought that was an ugly word.

Almost as ugly as you are.

Don't you ever sass me old man.

Sorry. I'm getting sassy in my old age.

If I could have one more drink...

I believe I could give you exactly the place where he's at.

Can I look at that picture again?

Go!

There's no one left! Don't let go of me!

Oh, damn.

- Oh, God. - Another day.

Oh, God. God. Oh, God.

- Bob! You all right? Bob? - No, been shot.

Listen, if you're gonna put me on a horse,

you put me on the whiskey horse.

Okay? Put me on the whiskey horse.

- On the whiskey horse. With keg. - I know.

Bob? Bob?

Come here. Let me say my last words.

Now, don't interrupt me, you just shut up, now, okay?

These are my last words.

I amost stopped the bleeding...

Most important words I'm gonna say in my life, I wanna..

Bob, Bob. Come on, Bob. Bob.

Come on, Bob. Bob! Bob!

What? Oh, no.

Now, the last words they'll remember me by...

The last thing they're gonna remember me ever saying is, "What?"

Bob. Come on.

You don't want to go to heaven sober.

So here's one for the road.

And so, as dear old Bob was winging his way

to the great beyond,

the kid renewed his noble quest.

It was then, one fortuitous day,

that the saints in heaven lead our hero to the nobellist...

of most proud and good looking caballero

ever to lead the Mexican people into battle.

You think I am afraid of you?

I spit on you.

I am tired of you! Get away! You're too close!

I had a better conversation with that tumbleweed!

I spit on you!

That's my hat!

You ought to go home to your papa and get a whipping for having no brain!

Buenos dias.

This mud should heal your face right up.

Three or four days, you'll be good as new.

Senor, you have saved

the life of a great Mexican patriot,

Juan Nepomuceno Cortina.

The man who time and again outsmarted the Texas Rangers.

That's good. Now, try and relax.

The man who fearlessly occupied the city of Bronsville.

You wanna relax.

Cortina! The man who vowed to sacrifice his own happiness--

- Cortina! - Si, senor!

- If you don't stop yammering, this medicine ain't gonna work

- and you're gonna die! - Okay.

I am a proud and noble descendent of Aztec and Spanish priests!

Priests who taught the world how to torture a man!

- He went straight to hell! - Cortina!

Why you think I'm out here? In this hideout with all the trees

so no one can see me?

I'm in a trouble with the law and I just don't want them to find me!

I knew it. The first time I look in your eyes, I knew.

- You are a fellow freedom fighter, no? - No!

- Liberacion, no? - No.

- But you understand my passion, no? - No!

- You're the quiet warrior. - No, I am not quiet. I'm tired.

Tired. I am tired too, senor.

Tired of the gringos stealing the Mexican lands,

with the Mexican names from the Mexican people!

San Antonio, Amarillo, El Paso, Corpus Christi!

- Oh, Corpus Christi is Latin, you say. - I say nothing!

Oh, no, it's okay! Did you ever think Mexico is Latin to me?

Yoo-hoo, senor! What is your name, senor?

- Bob. - Bob?

- It is a small but fine name, Senor Bop. - Bob.

- Bop. - Bob!

Bob. Bob. Oh, Bob. , that is different.

You realise, Senor Bob,

you have saved the life of the hero of the Mexican people...

I got that part.

Okay. As a man of honour, I must now repay that enormous debt.

Tell you what, you go to sleep, we call it even, all right?

No, no, no. I, Juan Nepomuceno Cortina,

hereby vow to follow and protect Senor Bob

until such time as I in turn can save the life of Senor Bob!

- Did you say "follow me?" - Follow!

You will not follow me anywhere! Do you understand me?

And so, recognising the greatness each of us possessed,

my friend and I were inseparable from that day on.

Together, side-by-side, we road bravely

toward the most wicked and Godless town in all the American West,

the very gateway to hell itself, El Paso, Mexico!

EL PASO, TEXAS

Hey, cowboys. Up here! Hi!

- Hi, sweetie. - Hey.

- What can I get you? - Give me a whiskey.

, senor, I want to try to play some cards with these cowboys.

Okay.

What is this? That ain't whiskey!

That's El Paso's best, sir. That'll be a dollar, partner.

I'm not your partner, and wont' you give a dollar for the drink.

I'll settle for 25 cents.

Sample, if you will,

the wonders of this amazing new scientific invention!

The brushing instrument for human teeth and dental plates!

It expunges odour. Eliminates decay.

Eradicates bleeding gums and mouth pain!

All the rage in London, Paris, New York and Cairo!

And yours, my friends, for 25 cents. That's right, 25 cents! Any takers?

- I gotta have one of those. - Help yourself.

Just 25-- Excuse me, 25-- Twenty-five cents!

- Hey, ladies, please! - Hey, give me one.

Okay, one more.

Hi. My name...

That's a mighty fine brushing instrument, ma'am.

You too, cowpoke!

Lookey who's caught in my little trap.

Party's over there, kid.

- Come on! - Nice and easy.

We got our own little social place for you, son.

You ain't gonna need that brush.

Hey, stranger. You mighty quiet.

If you wasn't breathing, I'd think you was dead.

The name's Isaiah Turner.

I'll be dog-gone. You're Nat Love, ain't you?

Well, Mr. Love, it is a privilege to share the jail cell with you, sir!

I read all your books.

I used to read it to the kids at the church where I taught.

You the baddest gunslinger that ever lived.

Did you really coral ten men by yourself

at the Rattlesnake Canyon?

Been in a lot of canyons.

And you robbed a bank with just a knife?

That's what they say.

You're the man to teach me what I need.

I been hunting some men down, I need to work on my gunslinging skills.

Sit back. Enjoy the day.

Ain't got time to teach you nothing. They're gonna hang me tomorrow.

Well, look at you. You about to be hung

and you sitting there

like you going to the barber to get a haircut.

If a man can't go out in the blaze of glory,

he can at least go with dignity.

Well, I don't feel like going!

- Morning, Mr. Bloomington! - Morning, Sheriff.

Looks like you've earned yourself a name, huh?

The Whorehouse Kid, by God, that's a quaint little moniker.

And look at you. All famous and fancy and legit now.

You've become quite irritant to me, son.

As mayor of this... Talking like butter won't melt in your mouth.

As mayor of this fair city,

I want to tell you that you're going to get a fair trial.

- Except for, I know what you really are. - And a fair hanging.

- A thief and a murderer! - Goddamn it! Would...

I'm gonna kill you, Bloomington.

You are going to get yours tomorrow. Boy.

And I can't wait to see them slip that noose around your neck

and that look of pure terror come over your face

just like your mama had the night that I shot her.

I'm gonna come back from my grave, and I'm gonna kill you.

If Jedediah was here,

he'd be coming through that door with his guns ablazing!

- Jedediah. Turner? - You know him?

- Your brother? - Yeah.

He's a good man. Hell of a gun fighter.

Had a classic showdown with another gun.

Called himself The Undertaker.

Jedediah took him, didn't he?

He's a great gunslinger now! He always was good!

They say it was close. One for the books.

But your brother lost.

Jedediah dead?

He killed my brother.

Where I find this dog called The Undertaker.

I'm gonna kill him!

I'm gonna kill Bloomington, then I'm gonna kill Bonner,

and I'm gonna put a bullet in the head of The Undertaker.

That's a whole heap a folks to kill

for a man who ain't got no gun, can't shoot,

and is presently incarcerated.

Well, I'm gonna shoot him dead.

- Bob! - Cortina! Hey!

Cortina! Help! They're gonna hang me.

Wonderful! I was hoping... So I'm saving your life, right?

- I owe you nothing, right? - Right.

- Okay, you got it! - Come on, Nat, wake up.

Oxes! Yeah!

Come on! This is my friend, Nat Love.

Good to meet you, Nat Love.

- Here's your gun, even Steven, okay? - Even!

- It was good riding with you, Bob. - You too!

I got to go save the Mexican people.

- You saved my life! - I did not!

He jumped out the window! He was killing me!

Every time I turn around, you save my life!

You make me go absolutely crazy, Bob!

- Nat, I'm going with you! - No! I'm riding alone!

Nat! Nat! That's my horse, Nat!

- I gotta go with you. - What?

- Come on. Come on! - Go, get up. Go! Get up!

Help me! Get up!

Pursued by 20 Texas Rangers, with a pack of slavering bloodhounds

nipping at our heals,

we rode together, escorting Senor Love to his secret hideaway.

, senor!

Hey! I'm not playing with you!

- Nat! Nat! I thought you was dead, boy! - How you doing?

Yeah, well. They almost stretched my neck for real this time.

Ah, the hell, I knew--

Hey, don't shoot! Don't shoot!

I, Juan Nepomuceno Cortina, I sprang you from the coscel.

- Where's the kid? - The kid,

he keeps falling off the back of my horse.

It's a little problem we are working on.

- No, don't you do it! - What part of "Stop! Wait!

I've fallen down. Will you wait for me?"

All night, he was riding, I had to catch up with him.

- You left me back! - I did not want to leave Senor Love!

Senor Love, gentlemen!

Allow me to introduce my fearless compadre,

Senor Isaiah "Bob" Turner!

Now, look, I thought I told you not to follow me!

I know, but I had to.

I need your help. Plus, you stole my horse.

Help. I ain't got time to be helping you!

- Go on, get on out of here! - Come on, Nat. I saved your life!

You owe your life to this man! You must protect this man!

You must and give him shelter as you can save the life of this man!

- Shut up! - Shut up!

You can hold up for a couple a days.

As long as that fella keeps his trap shut.

- Keep your mouth shut. - Come on.

Don't you be mad at me, you can't stay there.

I can stay on the horse with that big sombrero,

I can't see nothing kept hitting me in my eye!

Here! Here!

- Who are you? - Isaiah. Who are they?

- Special people. - How you doing?

Got a whole lot of special people.

Hello, Sister. Hey, Sister. Sister.

Let me give you a hand.

You look like a man. You smell like a man too.

- Amen. - Dig in, boys.

My name is Isaiah Turner. I say this is a really nice hideout.

How you doing? I haven't met most-- Okay, you guys are pretty hungry.

I'm new at gunslinging, so any kind of tips or pointers...

I'd be willing to take into consideration.

Hey!

Use a damn fork, Graham.

- Just a bunch of noise. - He can't hit nothing.

- Darn it! - Try again!

Bob. No, no, Bob!

No, no, no! Wrong method, Bob. No quick draw!

We either gonna have to kill that kid or teach him how to shoot.

We don't get shot when we're robbing banks.

- Shoot this. - All right. Put it down on the rock.

No. Shoot it out of my hand.

- Come on, Nat. - Shoot it.

- If you hit me, I'm going to kill you. - Nat, this ain't funny. Come on.

Shoot it.

Every time you shoot at someone, plan on dying.

All right.

That was great!

That's how I wanna ride!

You need to be confident.

- The problem is getting up. - Yeah, that's hard.

Yes. Okay, let's try it again. Put the foot in the stirrup. Okay?

Just remember, no fighting in the bank.

This hand gets the reins... You have no control.

You're at the horn. You ready? Cheer up, okay?

- I like when you don't holler at me. - I'm so sorry I hollered at you.

Okay? One, two, three, up!

- Looks good, don't it? - Yeah.

- Hey! Get off that horse. - I just got on it.

He jealous.

You know, riding a horse is a lot like being with a woman.

Okay, just so I understand this correctly,

what part of riding a horse is like being with a woman exactly?

- Nat, the green whore's a virgin! - Am not! Hey, I'm not a virgin!

The boy ain't never had no sugar-dumplings!

If you knew how many I'd been with, you all be in there praying right now!

I was underneath your nunnery thing!

The boy ain't nothing but a cherry! That's what he is!

I've been with so many women, I can't remember all their names.

- Mary got the medicine for you. - Well, I don't need your help.

Come on, Mary ain't gonna hurt you! Just give you a little riding lesson.

- I'm riding with him. - Come here, boy! Come here!

- Go ahead, Mary! Show them! - Come on!

- Show him! Show him! - Come on!

- Stop it! - Come here!

Don't hurt him, Mary! Don't!

Mary knows how to fix the troubles you got.

Good luck, Bob!

Nat! Nat! She ain't got no drawers!

There he is.

- All right! Ride them, cowboy! - Come on, boy!

- He's a bronco rider! - I'd say the boy is fixed.

He's been practicing.

I tell her, "Maria, drink this tequila.

"Take off your clothes, you will see God!

I will bring him to you."

Now, boss, now come on, why did you call us here?

- The kid needs a name. - A name, yeah.

- Well, how about Dusty Butt? - We will take it as well.

He's still wet behind the ears. Let's call him Runt Boy.

Oh, honey. Ain't nothing runty about that boy!

I broke him. I say I should name him. How's about Happy?

It's about pride. A man's gotta have a name

- that he can be proud of. - Yeah.

Well, what are you proud of, son?

My daddy. Now he died for fighting something he believed in.

- And he was half Cherokee. - Cherokee Kid.

- Oh, wait! Now, I got it! Buffalo Red. - Buffalo Bop.

- It's not Bop. - His name is not Bob.

No, no, listen to me--

- Cherokee Kid. - What about Rusty Red?

A Cherokee Kid.

I got it. The Cherokee Kid.

All right! Now, that's a name. That's a good one now.

The Cherokee Kid. The Cherokee Kid.

- Well, do I look like a gunslinger? - You look like The Cherokee Kid.

I've been meaning to ask you where did this shirt come from?

It's Billy's. He's not with us anymore.

Where we headed, Nat?

The Reserve Bank in Pecos.

Bloomington's bigest bank. Easy target.

Let's move it.

Can't be correct.

PECOS, TEXAS

No, those are the charges and the amount.

Hold on, sir.

I want that amount!

Could I have some money for the poor?

- Sorry, sister Oh, pretty please. - It's for charity you know.

- No can do - How 'bout if I show you

a little of this.

Anybod y moveI'll blow you straight to hell!

Pay attention.

Let's move it, ladies!

Get! Get! Come on now!

We just been robbed by totin' nuns! And that man!

Whooo! That was fun!

You're the quickest dog gone study I've ever seen.

Oh, you're the best teacher I've ever had.

You got places to go and people to kill.

- We'll meet u p again sometime - Thanks Nat.

I ain't gonna forget you.

Come on!

That was the last time I saw Senor Nat Love.

But he is a man of such character, such barring such...

...cojones.

He will live within my bosom forever.

The Kid knew if Bloomington was elected Governor.

He would control everything, the money, the land, the people.

Plus it would be a whole lot harder to kill him.

So, he took the excellent advice of yours truly

and set out to make Bloomington crazy enough to come to him.

He realized robbing his banks

would be a nice way to get his attention,

and to humiliate him in the eyes of the public.

Excuse me, we're taking a photograph here.

Oh, yeah? We're robbin' a bank here.

Hey! Take the picture!

CHEROKEE KID HITS 5TH BLOOMINGTON BANK!

CANDIDATE VOWS REVENGE!

- Give me all your money, por favor. - Okay... one, one minute.

Mr. Kid? The, The Cherokee Kid?

Hi! Hi! We're old friends.

- Why are you here? I got promoted and transferred.

- Well, I got a newjob. I rob banks. - Ta da!

You got the apron.

It's got the hand embroidery.

It doesn't have your name, but uh, it it has those floral patterns.

Oh, here wait, wait. Don't forget your money.

- Thanks for your patronage. - Give my gun.

Or robber yage.

CHEROKEE STEALS FROM RICH GIVES TO POOR!

- Idiot! - Bloomington was fed up.

He sent for the most cold-blooded slinger in all the west.

The Undertaker and 20 other snarling jackals.

My only recourse was to turn to you, gentlemen.

Professionals to get the job done.

Now this uh... bag of gold coins.

Go to the first man to deliver

any of the Kid's indispensable body parts to me.

Along with some identifiable portion of his anatomy.

His... head will do.

He's mine.

Not unless I get to him first.

Whoa, friend... word of advice...

...I hear Cherokee's pretty tricky.

- You right handed or South Paw? - South Paw, why?

Guess he better start practices with his right.

Like I said, he's mine.

There's a challenge for you gentlemen.

Go get him. Come on.

Watch your back. I'm gonna get him first.

Well, Mr. Undertaker... You uh...

...certainly are a, uh..

- I could do this. - I got gold for anyman

that can get him.

I don't need no gold.

Well go get him then, for free.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Would you consider sellin' us horses?

We don't cotton to your kind around here.

My kind? My kind's your kind.

My kind don't go around

knockin' over banks and robbin' ladies,

so just turn around and get.

God Almighty! It's TheCherokee Kid! Abigail, that's The Cherokee Kid!

Ma! It's The Cherokee Kid!

You climb on off that horse and rest there, Mr. Cherokee.

Abigail, you go on in the kitchen and set a table, girl.

We got famous company for dinner.

Where I'm from, when Pa asks you to do something, you hop to.

- Abigail, hop to. - Go on, baby.

Thank you, ma'am.

I'm in a jail cell, waitin' to be hung the next mornin',

till my compadre breaks the walls down to get me outta.

I'm shootin' on our way out. Bullets are flyin' everywhere

I reckon then, that's why they upped your reward

to five thousand dollars, that's a lotta money.

Tell about that bank you cracked open with that cannon ball.

No, no! I wanna hear how you robbed Texas Ranger payroll.

- Uh, the Texas Rangers. - The Ranger payroll?

Now that is an interesting story.

- But, the Pinedale Bank. - Yeah. Pinedale.

That was the most frightening.

You got the bank guards on one side.

You got that blood-thirsty. Jake Carver Gang...

- Abby! - Five thousand goes a long way

to help us keep our land!

Talk to me, Bob!

What? Why you got me tied up?

And why did you hit me on the head?

We ain't no fools. We know you come to rob us.

Why would I wanna rob poor people? You ain't got nothin' to take.

- I'm lookin' for Bloomington! - Uh, huh!

He's workin' for the man who's tryin' to steal our land!

Workin' for him? I'm huntin' that man down.

He killed my ma and my pa.

- You lie like a pig in mud. - You think I'm lyin'.

Go out and look at my horse.

And get some of them Bloomington bank bags I been robbin', alright?

- Go ahead and take 'em! Take 'em all! - Ma?

We don't want your stinkin' money!

We don't?

You ain't got enough money to give him.

He don't want your money. He wants your land.

- Ma, Cherokee may be right. - No!

I mean, the man is everywhere.

He's got his hands in the bank, the railroad, government.

AbigailI don't think we can fight the man.

I can.

We can't afford you!

Well, since I was gonna kill him anyway I'll do it for free.

You just shut up your face!

Don't you go fillin' my Ma and Pa's head with your head fabrications

and your falsehoods.

- Let me tell you somethin'... - Let me tell you somethin'...

Next time you tie a man up, use a proper knot.

For a pretty woman you got a ugly attitude.

Thanks for your hospitality, but I got to be goin'.

But I'll be back, Abby.

I am thanking you also,

and I assure you that I respect your strange manners.

I would like toto return someday to try to understand you.

Madre de Dios!

- What'd he say? - Goodbye?

- I think she likes me. - Where the heck is my rifle?

- Abby! Wait! - Abby, that's company, girl!

Getup! Yah.

Well, Abigail, I ain't never seen you miss before

- Well, it's dark. - Mmmm.

LARABEE, TEXAS

That's him right there.

I'm lookin' for Cyrus Bloomington.

It's a coincidence, Cherokee. Undertaker's out lookin' for you.

- Is that so? - Best watch yourback.

The Undertaker's not the only blood sucker gunnin' for you.

Bloomington's gold's put a bee

in a lot of nasty good for nothin' bonnets.

Well, I'll keep that in mind.

And if your ass had eyeballs, you'd be lookin' at the nastiest one.

I don't have no quarrel with you.

Now, y'all tell this "Undertaker"

I want a rendezvous with him tomorrow.

High noon on main street.

- You got that? - Yeah.

What the hell is a "Rendezvous?"

That afternoon, as Bloomington's blood thirsty vultures

descended upon Larabee,

the Kid went back to one lady bird who had caught his eye.

What do you want? Ain't you had enough?

Well, uh... I figure awoman shoot at me four times,

I need to see her again.

Well, I don't wanna be seen with you, so just move on, mister.

- Ma'am, I must be makin' your husband jealous.

- I don't have a husband. - Say that again.

I said, "I don't have a husband."

Why, I'm shocked Ms. Abby that some man wanna hit by you

with a fryin' pan on a daily basis.

And I'm shocked, that for a man

who might be meetin' his maker tomorrow,

you actin' awfully chipper.

I'm not the man who's gonna be meetin' his maker tomorrow.

- Are you sure? - I'm sure.

Well, I'm gonna say a prayer for you anyway, whether you like it or not!

Well, I appreciate that, Ms. Abby.

See ya later... Cherokee Kid.

Yesterday... when the Kid rode into town,

he was as ready as I ever saw him! He was ready!

He was the most...

The best.

He was the best man I ever known.

Bloomington wants him in the ground right now.

You don't touch that coffin. We'll carry it out ourselves.

Alright.

This seems proper place to end the story.

- We don't care to hear your side. - You're gonna.

Shut up and listen.

Yesterday when I saw the Kid, I could tell he was rattled.

So, you're The Undertaker.

I wanna look in the eyes of the man that shot my brother before I kill him.

Cherokee feather. I'm gonna take that after I kill you.

Word of advice, don't mistake stupidity for courage.

Now it's your turn to die.

Sweet dreams.

Sweet dreams.

Which is what I told my brother when I tucked him in at night.

I told ya I'd come back from my grave to kill ya.

I knew it.

Where the heck is my rifle?

Bob, I'm so happy to see you. I knew it.

I'm goin' after Bloomington.

Cortina, do you have a moment?

This fur's heavy.

Bob, I'll be back. I got you, Bob.

Jed, cover me.

- Come on, take it easy. You okay? - Oh, no. I've been better, Bob.

That was the sorriest eulogy I've ever heard in my life.

Now that I'm dying, I hope you do better for me.

Please, you're too conceded to die.

No matter what happens,

- It's been my happiest day. - Me too.

- Let's finish it. - Come on.

We'll be right back.

Let's do it.

- Where the hell Bloomington? - Where that coward always is.

Tryin' to get away.

Bloomington!

Just stop what you're doin', Bloomington.

Not so tough by your self are you?

You're not gonna shoot a man in the backare?

Wouldn't bother me none.

Remember, you killed my mama.

That was because I was young and foolish.

I'm really sorry about that I...

I was workin' for the railroad then and now the railroad is workin' for me.

If we become partners, maybe and...

Hell, I've got more money than you could ever steal.

I'll be Governor next year, more than likely.

Well what do you say?

You know what? You're a pathetic old man.

You're not worth a bullet.

That was for my mama.

[Foreign language]

We lost a good friend. My teacher, like a father to me.

Gonna miss ya, Nat.

- Adios. - Yeah. Thank you.

Jed. When did you start callin' yourself The Undertaker?

Well, I got in some trouble a while back, little brother

and had to disappear.

Like mama taught me, I killed myself, buried myself

and named my new self The Undertaker.

I almost got buried back there. You almost hit me.

- You almost shot my ear off. - It's a good thing I drew first.

You? Who drew first?

- You gettin' deaf? I drew first. - Did not.

- Did so. - No you did not.

- Yes I did! - Where you goin'?

- Did not. - Did.

I figure I'd go out West.

Get a chance to know my brother better.

And some more wrongs got to be right.

You killed your enemies.

You avenged your parents, you even found your brother.

Isaiah, you don't have to be The Cherokee Kid no more.

I know I don't have to be, but I kinda like bein' The Cherokee Kid.

Besides I'm good at it. I like bein' a gunslinger.

- Well, I best be goin'. .

- And where are you're goin'? - I'm going.

- Didn't I just save your life? - Bob.

- Okay. - Alright.

Take care, Ms. Abby.

Woman, what is wrong with you?

You ain't ridin' off into no damn sunset without me

Come on then. You better keep up.

- Bob, this way. - I know, The sun got in my eyes.

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