Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

♪ ♪

(clattering)

♪ ♪

(clearing throat)

(sighing)

Um.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

Uhh...

it's been...

I don't even know, that's how long it's been.

I don't know if I'm doing this right, am I...

Am I doing this right?

(footsteps nearing)

(coughing)

(sighing)

(beeping)

(clearing throat)

(phone sounds beeping)

Um.

(knocking)

Hello?

(rustling)

Yes, my child?

Um, I should probably start with, uh...

Is that you, Job?

Yes, Father Bentley.

Oh, well this is a pleasant surprise.

You know, I haven't seen you since that...

that weird play that I...

Uh, yeah, yeah, I was actually gonna bring that up here.

Oh, okay.

So, um,

what sins have you come to confess today?

Pride.

Lust.

Idolatry.

- Being an asshole. - Eh, language!

Oh, I'm sorry, I...

Ha, I'm just joshing ya.

I really don't give a damn.

All right, so, uh,

let's have at it.

I'm all ears.

Well, we should probably go back to the first day of school.

I mean, that's going back a bit,

so I might get some of the details wrong, but...

♪ ♪

The first day of school was fantastic.

- And why is that? - It was senior year.

I was done with all the tests and college applications,

and crap like that, so it would just be a year

of coasting along and doing whatever I wanted.

I see.

Ah, Maria.

She's a wonderful mom.

That's my mom.

It looks great, Mom.

That's what moms do.

It seems pretty silly now to actually

be excited to go to school, but that's how I felt.

- Morning, Father Bentley! - Morning, Job.

Hey, that's me.

It's Job.

Hey, mailman, keep on, uh, delivering that mail, man.

That's my job.

- Yo, hold up, is that Job? - It is!

- Job! - Job!

(shouting, cheering)

Job! Job! Job! Job...

(engine whirring)

♪ ♪

Oh, my God, it's Job!

Oh, my God, dude.

Oh, my God, Job.

- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!

Yo!

(cheering and applauding)

♪ ♪

Benjamin, Benjamin,

the man with the plan...

jamin.

- How are you? - Hi, Job.

- You ready for the day? - Uh, yeah, let's do it.

(clapping)

(slamming)

This is your agenda for the day.

First class is AP English, followed by European History.

Sounds good, sounds good.

Lunch is at 12:30 in the cafeteria.

- What do you wanna eat? - Uhh, I think I'll just

have a little bit of everything, yeah.

♪ ♪

The day could not have been going better.

I mean, what more could I ask for?

Wait, did I mention it was my birthday?

(party horn blowing)

It's pretty crazy, right?

A little too crazy.

I assume you're...

embellishing things a bit?

Okay, I mean, well, you get the point.

Well, I guess so.

So, was there anything else important that happened?

Yeah, there was.

Okay, so who's this one... is this one from you?

Oh, I know, you always have the most...

(intercom beeping) Job Dugan.

Please report to Principal Vanderbilt's office.

Job Dugan.

I can't make a decision until I know more about it.

I'll advise the administration to follow up on it.

(phone ringing)

Mhm.

Okay, bye-bye.

First day of school and there's already drama.

Yes, well, speaking of drama,

your friend Sasha submitted this for the fall theater production.

Catchy title.

What's the problem, too many F-bombs,

little nip slip?

Became apparent that all the characters in her story

were based on various faculty members

and students at the school.

If you look at the cast list,

there's a Coach Titus,

a failed football player who only succeeded as a tight end

- when it came to his rear end. - I wonder

if I'm in here somewhere.

Knowing your history with Ms. Berringer,

I wanted to know if you had any part in writing this.

What? Uh, no, no, this is all new to me.

- Is it? - It is, I mean,

I wish I'd come up with some of this stuff,

but I didn't.

Well, suffice it to say that

the school will not be producing this.

I've already spoken to Sasha and let her off with a warning.

Sweet, coolio.

Can I keep this?

Just don't let Coach Midas see it.

Okay, awesome.

(bell ringing)

(overlapping chatter)

(slamming)

(passing traffic)

So,

who's happy to see me?

It was total bullshit.

Okay, yeah, I wrote about everyone at school

and I shat all over them, like, a lot.

But, that's not the point, it...

it's supposed to be tongue-in-cheek.

I mean, it criticizes that way of thinking,

that kind of negativity, ya know?

(typing)

- Who are you texting, huh? - Oh, I was just texting Benjamin

about how you said Mr. Decklin

dreams of being in Dickland.

What, I thought it was funny, what?

Look, I even wrote "LOL" in all caps.

And I know Todd is going to get it now.

Yeah, yeah.

Screw Todd, Todd sucks.

How did you work on this all summer without telling me?

I mean, I could've ragged on so many of these people.

Okay.

Why are you still looking at that?

Haven't found my character yet.

Oh, that reminds me, you egomaniac.

Whoa, I was just...

Here, take.

(tearing)

(giggling)

- Really? - Happy birthday.

What? It's practical.

(sighing)

- You don't wanna come over? - No, I will.

I'm just a little frazzled right now.

Okay, just 'cause Vanderbutt put the kibosh on your play

- doesn't mean it's bad. - I guess.

I mean it, plus we can start working on something

for the spring.

Yeah, maybe.

Jeez, yeah, you are frazzled.

Okay, yeah, go home and unfrazzle yourself.

Okay, I'll call you.

(distant sirens blaring)

(door closes)

Mom?

Hey, Chuck.

That's marvelous, Jim, the same old form

but 10 years ago, eh?

Hey, Jerry, I want you to meet Jim Thorpe.

- My nephew, Jerry Miner, Jim. - Hello, Jerry.

Hello.

(indistinct TV chatter)

Good timing.

This is the best part.

Already?

Did you clean your room yet?

Nope.

Look, I know it's your birth...

What are you doing?

- I don't believe you. - What, I was hungry, whoa!

Yeah, well now you're not gonna eat your dinner.

I will, I will do that!

I will be hungry again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- If I doubt that you could... - How about you hush?

No, I remember all this.

Yeah, I remember how we almost died.

Hey, this was your idea,

and there wasn't even a ghost.

You were glad there wasn't a ghost.

You would've pissed yourself.

Well, yeah, but,

so what?

My favorite part is just how they look exactly like us.

Yeah, I spent a lot of time getting that right.

This is really awesome, thanks, man.

No problem.

- Well, I'm gonna dip. - What?

It's my birthday, you're not gonna stay?

Uh, as of 12 minutes ago

it isn't your birthday.

Besides, I've gotta get started on my new script.

Shouldn't we wake her up?

Uhh,

she'll be fine.

Thanks for coming over, drive safe,

don't let the bed bugs bite, blah, blah, blah.

- Will do, dude. - Bye, Job.

Hey, and see you guys at church on Sunday.

Ha, funny.

♪ ♪

So, yeah, I think that gives a pretty good picture

of how things were at the time.

Hello?

- Oh, man. - I absolve you of all your sins,

in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Father Bentley!

How much did you miss?

Oh.

Well, I remember the part where you said hi to me.

Okay.

Okay, no, it's fine, it's fine, we'll just, um,

we'll skip ahead.

So, we gonna get to the juicy parts?

We're getting to the part where...

I met her.

Mom, we're gonna be late.

(groaning)

(mumbling indistinctly)

What?

(phone ringing)

We'll just go to a later service.

Okay, I planned ahead.

I knew we had church this morning,

so I went to bed early, and look at me,

I'm not tired at...

(snoring)

(indistinct remarks)

So, what do you remember?

Not much.

You've gotta give me something.

Penitence, or something about penitence.

- I think. - Penitence?

Um,

how only the penitent will pass.

Wait, isn't that a line from...

Maria.

Father Bentley.

Oh, it's so good to see you.

I got a little worried when I didn't see you

at the first service.

Oh, well, we were just running a little late.

Tell me,

what did you think of my message?

Well, um, I...

Uh, I'm...

gonna go over there.

Oh, Job.

Well, didn't even see ya there, sport.

(chuckling)

♪ ♪

Hey.

Hi.

How are you called?

Alice, and you?

Job.

So, you, uh,

been here long?

More or less.

What do you say we, uh,

get out of this place?

Yeah.

♪ ♪

Whoa, whoa, whoa, cut the bologna.

- What do you mean? - First off,

that was not how your conversation went.

What, how do you know?

Well, if I recall correctly...

(tape reversing)

♪ ♪

Hey, I'm Job.

You know, like, from the Bible.

But, I mean, it's not like there's a bunch of other Jobs

that you could, you know, get it confused with.

I, um...

I mean... I mean, I think it stands

for being persecuted, but I don't really know

what I'm being persecuted for, ya know?

I asked my mom and she was like, "Oh, you gotta ask your father."

But, he was dead by that point, so it wasn't like that was

really an option that, like, she was considering...

- I mean, she was just... - Oh.

I mean, I suppose it's not the worst name,

you know, it's not like Judas,

or like, like, Adolf, you know?

But, at least people know how to say those names.

So, are you, like, from around here?

I moved here a couple months ago.

What? Oh, that's awesome.

What... what school you go to?

Ridgeview High School.

What?

No way, I go to Ridgeview, that's crazy!

Maybe... maybe we'll be in a class together sometime.

Maybe.

(birds chirping)

Wow, tss.

Um, I should get going.

Oh, yeah, yeah, just totally, yeah, no, uh...

I have to as well.

Yeah, see ya maybe tomorrow.

- Bye. - At Ridgeview, 'cause we go

to the same school... whoa, real quick,

what was your name?

Alice.

Alice, oh, that's crazy, well, that's a great name.

Well, uh, congrats.

Really nice... nice job with the... with the name.

Uh, I'll see...

I'll see ya, maybe tomorrow!

Okay, so that might be just a little closer

to how things went.

- So, what next? - Well, I mean,

I had to tell someone.

It shouldn't be a problem.

I thought of that when I wrote the script.

You don't think there are too many roles?

I wouldn't worry about it.

I think, once word gets out about my play,

people are gonna wanna be a part of it.

Sasha, Sasha, Sasha!

- Sasha! - Okay, calm your butt cheeks.

Okay, ugh.

Job, hey, uh, if ya haven't noticed,

we're in the middle of a meeting.

Yeah, yeah, whatever, okay, so...

- I was at church yesterday... - Are you an actor?

No, you're right, Todd, I'm not an actor,

but you don't look like one to me either.

I mean, leather jacket and toothpick, yeah,

Freud would have a field day with you.

Ha, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Yeah, and sometimes it's a really, really big cigar.

(sighing)

- Ugh, let's go to the back. - Suck it.

Suck it hard.

There's this girl, and it's like, ahh,

I mean, I'm just like, "Why haven't we met before?"

Ya know, like, why here, now, at this time and place

out of all the beautiful things in the world?

- So, there's someone you like? - Like, what does that even mean?

We say that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

all the time.

What are you on?

(groaning)

Okay.

- Do you know her name? - Yeah, it's Alice,

and apparently she goes here.

Well, I'm sure you'll see her again,

so there's no reason for you to be

acting weird.

- You don't understand. - Oh, my God, are you for real?

- What? - You're being stupid.

Okay, so you like this person, go do something about it.

I am, I am gonna ask her out.

Jesus Christ.

But, I need to know a little bit more about her.

- Could... could ya help me? - What did I just say

about not being stupid?

- So, yes? - Hell no.

I'm not gonna help you stalk some random girl.

Ooh, I can... I can pay you.

Okay, I am done with this conversation.

No, you're right.

Enough time for talk, now it is time for action.

♪ ♪

All right, ooh, there she is.

For Whom the Bell Tolls.

Sounds spooky.

Why don't you go talk to her?

What? I don't wanna come off as some creep.

(scoffing)

♪ ♪

I wonder what she's listening to.

♪ ♪

Hey, go ask her.

What... I'm not sure.

Oh, she's leaving.

- Maybe she saw us. - All right.

♪ ♪

Where are you going?

♪ ♪

What's up?

So...

What, how could this be?

Here.

(dialing)

Well, I'll see you around.

- Have a good one. - Thanks.

♪ ♪

- Hello? - What did she say?

- What? - Alice.

Where the heck?

Oh, it's okay, there's literally no way that she...

♪ ♪

Oh, nuts... here, take that, okay.

♪ ♪

You know you look like a pedo creep

hiding in a bush, right?

Just give me... just need a...

Okay, I'm good.

Have you even considered

talking to her, like a normal human being?

No, that's gross.

All right, look, she just wanted to know

- more about the theater program. - Theater, what?

No way, I... I love theater.

- How do I join? - Did you read the book

I gave you?

- No. - Then, no way.

Job, you can't do any kind of public speaking.

When they call your name during attendance,

you have a miniature stroke.

Okay, then I'll start reading it then.

Oh, God.

Look, don't freak out.

- What are you doing? - Look, I've been asking you

to clean your room for two weeks.

I still need these things!

(sighing)

Really?

- Even these? - No, no, no, these can't go.

You could give them to your cousins.

Uh, no, these are important to me.

All right.

If I leave, you're going to clean your room, right?

Uh-huh.

(sighing)

Come on, just one more job.

Sorry, Mr. Ninja, that life is behind me.

But, Peter, I can't steal the Hope Diamond by myself.

I've got a wife and kids now.

♪ ♪

Oh, I see that.

I guess there ain't much I can say to convince ya.

♪ ♪

Well, say hi to the missus for me.

♪ ♪

Wait!

♪ ♪

Do ya wanna grab dinner...

one last time?

♪ ♪

Yeah, let's do it.

(imitating car horn)

(overlapping chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

Oh, my God!

(exhaling)

"Joan of Arc Ate the Steak."

Hm.

♪ ♪

Hey.

I didn't mean to surprise you there, I just...

- Hello. - How are you doing?

- Uh, I'm okay. - That's good, that's good.

- What were you listening to? - Just some...

- music. - Music, oh.

I like music, too.

What are the odds?

Hey, I, uh, saw you reading something earlier.

- What... what was it? - It was, um, Hemingway.

Oh, wow, you're smart.

I'll... I'll probably be reading this when I get home.

You know, ever since my dad died,

I've just tried to, like, throw myself into

a bunch of different things, and, uh, so I'm really excited

to be a part of this production.

Oh, okay.

Are you waiting on someone, or...?

- Someone's picking me up. - Oh, all right, are they late?

'Cause, like, I could just give you a ride if you...

Whaaat.

♪ ♪

Bye.

♪ ♪

(engine revving)

♪ ♪

Who was that?

That was Robert.

♪ ♪

- What? - Robert Fonda.

Football captain extraordinaire.

Humble servant of the Lord.

Um, what?

I suppose introductions are in order.

Well, I'm Jim.

These are my mates, Tim and Bim.

- How do? - My name's really Brandon,

but that doesn't actually fit.

We're Robert's best buds, because we love Robert.

(grunting)

Robert.

Okay, so you guys are like

his fan club, or...?

- How'd you know? - I guess word's getting around.

(chuckling)

Yeah.

♪ ♪

Well, it was nice to meet you guys.

Oh, we'll meet again,

Bible boy.

We shall... psh.

♪ ♪

Nice to meet you.

♪ ♪

Bible boy, okay.

- Do you know Robert Fonda? - Jeez.

Where did you come from?

He's Alice's boyfriend, I think.

Yeesh, sorry.

He plays football, I think.

Uh, yeah, he's like the best player on the team.

How do you not know him?

Do you wanna, like, help me scope out this guy?

And his three goons, or whatever they are.

Well, unlike you, I have important things to do.

- Yeah, like what? - Well, auditions are next week,

so I'll be getting ready for that.

Also, I got this.

What, is this your new script, can I read it, can I help?

If you have a cure for writer's block,

that'd be a good start.

Well, just write about what you know.

Yeah, but all I know is petty high school drama.

No one wants to read that shit.

Is there anyone you're interested in right now?

What? No.

Come on, what about Todd, rekindle an old flame?

Okay, that was in the 7th grade,

and it was for like two weeks.

- Why are you bringing that up? - I'm just saying,

maybe you need to change things up a bit,

try something new, ya know?

Would you look at that, it's half past bullshit.

- I gotta bounce. - Okay, don't be butt hurt.

Are you... are you actually butt hurt?

You need a hobby.

(squeaking)

(birds chirping)

Uh, thanks for helping me out again.

Anything for the Lord.

Can you draw me a dinosaur?

Yeah.

I don't know, what do you think?

Uh, I'm not sure.

I... I don't really know her that well.

It's just she's dating this dumb jock.

- Maybe look for someone else? - Okay, I am looking for

- realistic solutions here. - I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.

I mean, it's not your fault.

(grunting)

- Here ya go. - Thank you.

(children playing, talking)

Hey, you should come over, it's been a while

- since we hung out. - Sure, I actually have

been working on a project I wanna show you.

Okay, I'm down.

Just let me know.

(children babbling)

I mean, like, I can't even put it into words.

I wouldn't say it's, like, love at first sight,

but there was definitely, like, a connection there, ya know?

I just... I just feel like we're always being targeted

because we're Christians, like...

I agree, I agree, we always have a target on our back,

just like we always have a cross around our neck.

(vocalizing)

Hey.

Hi.

Hey, you're in my Chemistry class, right?

- I'm Robert. - Uh, Job.

Wait, Job, like from the Bible?

- Yeah, that's... that's the one. - Oh, that's sick, man.

Job is one of my favorite stories

in the Bible.

- This is Alice. - Yeah, we...

We know each other, we actually met at church.

Oh, that's lit.

So, how are you liking theater?

Uh, I like it, um, Sasha has really

been helping me a lot.

Sounds like you two are good friends.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, but we're just

friends, though, so.

Hey, I don't know what your schedule is like,

but I run a Bible study.

We meet once a week in Ms. Price's room.

I'm just throwing it out there, if you're interested.

Okay, yeah, I'll, uh,

keep that in mind.

Well, we're gonna head out soon.

Oh, yeah, I gotta do things as well, so,

I'm just gonna...

- Bye. - Bye.

Oh, ha-ha, see ya.

Bye.

(phone vibrating)

- (knocking) - Sasha?

Are you there?

Are you dead?

You look really dead right now, so...

...if you could say something...

...or, like,

move a little bit, that would be reassuring.

Uh, you got something on your... on your...

(sighing)

...purple on your face.

I bombed.

Oh, are auditions today?

I told you like a gazillion times.

Whoops.

I tried for the part of Grape Lady,

but I kept messing up.

I really want that part.

Okay, it is way too early in this semester

for you to be burning out already.

Are ya hungry?

Okay, let's start there.

Hello, my name is Job and I'll be your server this evening.

Can I get you something to eat or...?

- There's pizza in the fridge. - A fine choice.

I'll, uh... I'll fix that up for you right away.

(door closing)

(indistinct chatter)

Okay, it says that we...

So, Todd, how's the, uh, play coming along?

- Swell, Job. - Oh, yeah, yeah, I've heard.

Yeah, I've heard.

- I think we're supposed to... - It's a shame

what happened to Sasha.

She could've made an excellent director.

Oh, wow, wow, sounds like you're still, uh, bitter.

Mm.

- Sour grapes? - Oh, well at least

I'm not so... basic.

At least my jokes aren't acid... nine.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

(drum roll)

♪ ♪

(grunting)

Ah, I see we're at an impasse.

Give it up, Todd, this pineapple is mineapple.

- Still at it with the puns, eh? - Oh, yeah?

Well, at least my hair isn't dumb.

♪ ♪

Ooh-hoo, seems I've struck a nerve.

My hair is cool!

Oh, yeah, well, what if I... what if I just do it...

just a little bit of... like this?

♪ ♪

Don't touch my hair!

(panting)

(laughing maniacally)

I'm finished.

(laughing)

I'm finished!

(grunting)

Hey, can I see your answers?

Well, what about the play?

Oh, well, uh, Sasha told me I could be a stagehand,

so, uh, there was still a chance for me to be around Alice.

(chuckling)

What, what?

Oh, I just decided I needed to do more to impress her,

and I, um... I guess I got desperate,

so I... I ended up doing something I thought I'd never do.

(grunting)

(whistle blowing)

Okay, reset!

Push yourself!

I've seen dead people crawl faster.

I honestly thought it wouldn't be too hard.

I thought I could fake it till I...

(whistle blowing)

Job, was it?

Yeah, you didn't make the cut.

But, we need an equipment assistant,

and you can start by getting all this stuff together.

- And if you'll turn to James... - Hello, fellow Christians!

Okay, one sec.

Uhh, hi, Job.

How do ya do, Robert?

- Hope I didn't miss anything. - No.

We were just about to read a verse.

Great.

So, James 2:17.

"Even so faith, if it hath not works,

is dead being alone."

What I like about this passage is that...

I read the Bible almost every day,

and I go to church every week.

Ever since my dad died, I...

♪ ♪

...my mom and I

have never missed a service,

and I guess it's kinda...

our way of keeping his memory alive.

♪ ♪

Ya know?

So,

let's get back to the passage.

Right on.

(laughing)

(indistinct chatter)

(overlapping whispers)

- Who am I? - There's that...

- What? - Understudy?

(indistinct remarks)

- Jerk. - I know.

Hey, congratulations.

- Hi. - Oh, I, um... I brought you these.

There ya go, you just take those,

- you're welcome. - Thank you.

So, I, uh... I didn't wanna know...

I didn't know... I didn't know... I didn't know if, you know...

if you wanted some help, like, uh,

running lines or anything, 'cause I've read

the whole script, so I know all the parts,

and, uh, I wanna know

if you wanted some help.

- Um. - I mean, if not,

that's totally cool as well, I just, you know,

wanted to...

Sure.

Cool.

What was that?

I mean, come on, this is act three, people!

Act three, we have to feel it!

It comes from your toes.

You're all acting from up here.

It's all in your head, get it out!

Get it out of your head! All right, everyone,

come with me, we're gonna feel from our feet this time,

and come on, tears, tears!

Your family has been...

♪ ♪

(cheering)

♪ ♪

Robert, Robert, Robert,

Robert, Robert, Robert, Robert!

(whistle blowing)

♪ ♪

(beeping)

♪ ♪

It's Sasha, there's a beep coming,

but I trust you know what to do.

♪ ♪

Thank you.

♪ ♪

Thank you.

♪ ♪

(clanking)

♪ ♪

Look at the stars.

In times of distress, they will always be there.

Yes.

I can see them now.

How does it make you feel?

It makes me sad.

What else?

It...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that?

I... just I'm not comfortable with...

But, you're acting.

- It doesn't matter. - I... I just...

- But, you're acting. - I just...

- It doesn't matter! - I just can't.

It's not that hard, Alice.

(kissing)

Aw, are you kidding me?

Hey, hey, wait up.

Are you okay?

- Just leave me alone. - Okay, that was messed up.

Sasha shouldn't have done that.

If you have a problem with the play,

you should talk to Todd about it.

I mean, I can... I can talk to him if you want.

Hey.

I think you're a really great actress.

Thank you.

- Yeah. - Our Father,

who art in heaven, hallowed by Thy name.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done

on Earth as it is in heaven.

That actually sounds pretty good.

I like vanilla...

So, what about your place, Tim?

Sorry, Robert, but my parents are home all week.

What's... what's wrong, guys?

We... we need a place to throw a party

after the game on Friday.

But, we can't have it at my place 'cause my parents

are having guests over.

Well, what about my place?

I mean, my mom works in the evenings,

so the house will be empty.

That'd be great, yeah.

Wait, hold on.

Do you even know how to throw a party?

Oh, I can throw a party.

Whoo!

♪ ♪

All right.

(mixed chatter)

♪ ♪

(indistinct talking)

That's so cute!

(laughing)

♪ ♪

Hey! Welcome to my humble abode.

♪ ♪

That felt stupid, but okay.

Wow, you really went all out.

Yeah, I don't mess around.

It looks nice.

Thanks.

♪ ♪

What is this?

Oh, what, you don't like the decor?

It kind of reminds me of Casablanca a little bit.

♪ ♪

The old Hollywood movie?

♪ ♪

That's real impressive knowledge there, Bim.

Yeah, real impressive!

- Thanks! - Hey, we'll always have Paris.

Hey, here's looking at you, kid!

(laughing)

Hey, Jim, go long!

Just make sure you don't take someone's head off!

♪ ♪

- So, how are you guys? - Robert, hey!

Hey, Robert!

Yo, Rob, come over here!

I'll be right back.

♪ ♪

Um, do you wanna go out back or something?

Sure.

Yeah, it's been going great.

Funny enough, we're actually talking about the Book of Job.

That's funny.

Yeah, it's hard to read the stories

and not imagine myself in all of them.

- You seem very busy. - Yeah,

between homework and theater and football,

I mean, it's a lot.

Thank you for helping me practice my lines.

Yeah, yeah, of course, Alice.

Or should I say...

Grape Lady.

♪ ♪

See, there are traitors among us!

Traitors, oh, my heavens!

Yes. They are everywhere,

but fear not, my good lady.

I will protect you.

♪ ♪

Anyway, enough of that acting stuff.

You should be in the cast!

Yeah, well, stage fright doesn't really jive well

- with the stage. - You'd be good.

Thanks.

Hey, Benjamin, what's up?

How've you been?

Can I talk to you someplace else?

Yeah, sure.

I'll see you later.

♪ ♪

Singles, right?

(mixed chatter)

(whispering)

♪ ♪

Oh. Sorry for the mess.

♪ ♪

What's up?

Why are you doing this?

Doing what?

All these people.

Hey, we're just hanging out.

♪ ♪

Hey, whoa, what's wrong?

What? Come on.

What's going on?

♪ ♪

I'm sorry.

♪ ♪

It all makes sense.

What?

♪ ♪

You're disgusting.

♪ ♪

Wait, I'm not gay!

(chuckling)

I mean, there's nothing wrong with being gay.

I love gay people, but not in a gay way,

'cause I'm not gay.

I'm just supporting the cause.

Yeah, fine.

We don't want homophobes here anyway!

And yeah, I'm gonna say it, you're just a dumb jock!

Oh, yeah, well, at least I don't talk

about my dead dad all the time.

(door slamming)

I need a drink.

Sasha!

♪ ♪

Sasha!

Job, shut up!

♪ ♪

What do you want?

What's wrong?

You're a real asshole, you know that?

♪ ♪

(whining)

♪ ♪

Jesus Christ.

♪ ♪

Why are you so nice to me?

♪ ♪

I have no clue.

♪ ♪

It would just be really nice if...

shit!

Oh.

- Dammit. - I'm sorry, Sasha.

Goddamnit!

Oh, goddamnit.

What is going on?

What's going on?

Who's that?

And you're supposed to be at work.

Why does that matter?

Actually, I don't know.

Have you been drinking?

Only water.

♪ ♪

Where did you get this?

Uh, it was in the storage room.

Just in some random box.

(wind chimes tinkling)

Take it off, Job.

What, you just want me to strip down and...

Job!

♪ ♪

I could maybe make a suggestion...

Stay out of this.

♪ ♪

All right.

I'll go.

♪ ♪

You gonna be okay?

♪ ♪

Yeah, um...

♪ ♪

Can you just help me get these kids out of here?

Yeah. Yeah.

♪ ♪

Hey, Jim, go long!

(thudding and gasping)

- The football knocked her out. - Oh, my gosh, is she okay?

- Did you see... - You should go check on her.

- Is there ice around? - What happened?

- He ran away. - Someone go help her.

She needs help.

- Mom. - Oh, my gosh.

- Someone call an ambulance. - Ambulance is on its way, guys.

(machine whirring)

I'm...

I'm Lance, by the way.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, I just can't really think right now.

I mean, it's...

I get it, I mean, it's not like

- things could really be much... - Oh, and the cops are here.

(sirens blaring)

Oy vey!

Yup.

Well, as far as penance goes...

(cell phone ringing)

Sorry, I gotta take this.

(cell phone vibrating)

You have one new message

from Sasha Berringer.

To play the message, press one.

Okay.

Where were we?

Um, talking about penance.

The next few days were difficult.

♪ ♪

I ended up getting suspended

and was required to do community service.

♪ ♪

My mom had a concussion,

so I figured I could fill in for her

to kill two birds with one stone.

♪ ♪

(cell phone vibrating)

♪ ♪

Hey, Job-y boyo.

I hate to break it to you,

but since you're suspended,

you can't be part of the play anymore.

I figured you already knew that,

but I wanted to say it myself.

Anyway, ciao!

♪ ♪

(phone ringing)

It's Sasha.

There's a beep coming, but I trust you know what to do.

♪ ♪

(phone ringing)

Hi, you've reached Benjamin May.

I can't come to the phone right now,

but if you leave a message,

I'll call you back as soon as I can.

Thanks!

♪ ♪

(phone ringing)

- Hello? - Hey, Jim!

It's Job, what's going on?

(phone beeping)

(sighing)

Oh, no.

(plastic crinkling)

(water running)

Come on, come on, come on.

(knocking)

- Job! - Chuck's dying.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Oh, you're wrong.

Wait, he's okay?

No, he's dead.

What?

Come on in.

Well, I'm impressed.

You managed to kill a succulent.

Are you sure he's dead, there's nothing we can do?

Nope.

I'm afraid Chuck has officially kicked the bucket.

Can we resurrect him?

That's funny!

I'll have to remember that one.

But Chuck...

Here.

Why don't you try this one?

No, I'll just ruthlessly murder that one, too.

No, you won't.

Look, people think taking care of plants is hard,

but it's really not.

Plants have a very basic set of needs

and you just have to remember what they are.

All right.

I'll give it a shot.

That's the spirit.

Hey, what are you gonna name him?

I don't know, like, Bob or...

Well, that's perfect!

Rhymes with your name!

Yup.

Yeah, it does.

Initially, I didn't even know how to do it.

I kept trying to use my fingers and then...

Hey!

What are you doing here?

I was actually gonna ask you the same thing.

I just volunteer here.

Whenever I can.

My mom actually works here, so I help out sometimes.

I gotta go.

Richard, Liz.

Are you Maria's boy?

Uh, yeah.

You look like it.

Is it... is it Job?

Yeah, yeah, that's me.

You know, she talks about you all the time.

- Really? - Yeah.

And we're getting pretty sick of it, to be honest.

What does she say?

(door creaking)

You didn't think you were just gonna sneak by me, did you?

What's going on?

It's a lot.

Okay.

No, like, it's so much, I don't think

I can fill you in on everything.

Seems to me like you're being evasive.

Okay.

First off, I'm sorry for the party.

It was really, really stupid,

and I never should've done it.

I lied.

I talked to Sasha.

She told me a little bit...

- oh, come on! - Mm, why?

She didn't tell me everything!

Oh, come on.

Oh, Job, quit being a baby.

- Come on, sit up! - Mom.

Look, I don't know all the details,

and really, I don't need to.

The details aren't important.

I know that you like to... aggrandize.

I just want you to sit back

and take a look at the whole picture

and think about what really matters to you.

Yeah.

I guess sometimes I just kinda

get lost in my head.

Life is dramatic enough.

Don't make it any more than it needs to be.

Now go.

Naptime.

♪ ♪

Okay, let's see where the boys are.

Probably down here...

- Boo! - Whoa, Job, what are you doing?

Where's your dad?

He's over there raking.

All by himself?

Yeah, with the wind, it's not working.

Job, go and help him.

Oh, here, I'll help you, honey.

A few sweeps, we're done.

After this, I think I need a beer, okay?

♪ ♪

What about with my hands sweeping it?

Well, that's good.

You get the ones that blow away.

And Sasha, you've never been to the fair before?

- Um, no, not really. - No?

Maybe once when I was littler,

- but I can't remember. - You don't remember it?

I love these chips.

- Do you want one? - No.

Okay.

Hey, we're about to do the Ferris wheel here!

- Our annual trip to the fair! - Smile!

All right, wave again! Bye!

Come on, come on, let's go, let's go, come on!

(indistinct talking)

Wait up!

♪ ♪

You out of breath?

No, I know, I know, I need to cut back

on the nachos at night.

I'm not sure what those are.

♪ ♪

(indistinct talking)

♪ ♪

You've gotta get this, all right?

- What are you doing? - He'd bite my entire arm off,

and I want it on the camera.

- Yup. - Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, you're not gonna do that.

Do not do that.

At least do not get your sleeve wet.

Oh, my gosh.

I can't believe you're doing this.

Oh, my gosh, it's coming.

Oh, my gosh, it's...

Oh, he took it!

That was scary!

- Okay, I want to. - Come on, Job.

You can do it.

Just take it, take it.

Oh, my God.

(laughing)

Where are you guys?

We're gonna be late for church!

(roaring)

What are you all doing?

(indistinct remarks)

(groaning)

♪ ♪

I can't believe you're wearing that.

You know, it's vintage.

Besides, it's cool!

Yeah, okay.

Come on, Job, let's go.

Come on, bring your Bible.

We've gotta go to church. Come on.

Wake him up!

Honey!

♪ ♪

Oh, yeah.

That's right, that's right, you're right.

He's about to get hung,

and the guy up in the hill with the gun

is gonna shoot the rope.

♪ ♪

Here it is, look.

(indistinct remarks)

♪ ♪

(sniffing)

(doorbell ringing)

Hey.

Hi.

I, uh... I just wanted to see how you're doing.

I'm okay.

Um, I brought you something.

How We Met.

Job, Benjamin.

Can I sit here? Sure.

The End.

This is really bad.

Oh.

But I like it.

I want to show you something.

I've been working on this for a few weeks.

It's about this hero

whose home gets destroyed in a flood.

Everything he's known,

it's gone now.

So he travels the wasteland

and battles all these obstacles

so that, in the end, he can find a new place to live.

This is fantastic, Benjamin.

You should get this published or something!

Thanks.

♪ ♪

I'm sorry for being an asshole.

♪ ♪

And I know there's some awkwardness between us.

♪ ♪

It'll probably stick around for a while.

But...

♪ ♪

I don't know, I thought maybe if I brought it up,

it would make it less awkward,

but I think I just made it more awkward.

♪ ♪

I'm sorry.

Why are you apologizing?

You don't have anything to apologize for.

- But I... - Benjamin.

♪ ♪

You're gay.

I'm not sure.

That's fine, too!

Have you told anyone else?

No.

- I don't... - Hey.

You don't need to have all the answers right now.

We'll figure it out together.

Okay?

♪ ♪

Okay.

So, where does this hero settle down?

You'll have to read the sequel to find out.

There's gonna be a sequel?

Oh, sweet!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hey! I have one of these, too!

Um...

I guess I wanted to apologize,

but, um, is there anything you wanna say?

Look, I'm sorry for what I said,

but Benjamin is going through a lot right now and...

Why do you care what I think?

My, um... mom said

she didn't start going to church

until she met my dad.

And I've gone ever since I was a kid,

I mean, it's all I've known.

But now I...

I don't know what to believe in.

I've been figuring a lot of things out.

But there are some things I know for sure.

Well, I think I said everything I wanted to,

so I guess I'll just leave.

Did you know my...

my dad's name was Robert?

Just a...

Just a fun fact.

(thunder rumbling)

- Why are you doing this? - You're a real asshole,

- you know that? - Well, at least I don't talk

about my dead dad all the time.

- Job! - Dear God.

I'm so sorry.

It's all right, my child.

God?

Is that you?

Of course, Job.

That's not how you pronounce...

Go in peace and follow the path of light

of what is right and not wrong,

so you may be a blessing to all the good, uh,

good will that will change the lives of those around you

for the better.

Amen.

Hey.

Stay outta my story.

I couldn't help myself.

And what a story it's been!

Yeah, I mean, but there's only one part left,

and you already know what that is.

I do?

Joan of Arc Ate the Steak.

Opening night.

It was a packed house.

Everyone was there.

(mixed chatter)

My mom was able to make it out, so that was nice.

Oh, yeah, Lance was there, too.

Who is Sasha playing again?

A head of broccoli.

(lights clicking)

♪ ♪

There comes a time where everyone must fight

for something good, for something right,

for something they believe in.

We live in trying times,

and although the path forward may seem unclear...

Jesus, this sucks.

Shh!

It's like VeggieTales, it's...

♪ ♪

We should always look towards the future.

Let us think ahead.

Yes, we must!

We'll all have to start working together

sooner or tater.

♪ ♪

With grape power comes grape responsibility.

♪ ♪

Or else we'll...

we won't be able to live like this anymore.

♪ ♪

Something's wrong.

Yeah.

Anything else would be downright bananas!

There are traitors among us!

Traitors? Oh, my heavens!

♪ ♪

I pray for the dawn of a new era.

Full of love and happiness and world peace.

I pray that everyone can be happy.

No, no!

No!

Nooo!

(applause)

Bravo!

Hey, that was good.

Is it over?

It's intermission.

(sighing)

Hey, where's Sasha?

I... I don't know.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?

Don't touch me.

- I just want to make sure... - Don't touch me.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, what happened out there?

I screwed up, okay?

What do you want from me?

I just want to make sure that you're okay.

Now you care?

- Okay... - Now you want to know

how I'm doing?

I'm fantastic, Job.

- I've never been better. - Sasha...

What are you doing back here, anyway?

- Okay, listen to me. - No!

I'm done.

I've had enough.

Okay?

But the show...

The show.

(clock ticking)

(sighing)

Where is Sasha?

(mixed chatter)

This thing should've started like ten minutes ago.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

Oh, cruel fate!

Where dirt has come, where dirt we shall return.

He was so young!

He didn't have to die this way.

Who would do this?

(crying)

♪ ♪

Are you kidding me, Sasha?

You're on!

(panting)

Look at the stars.

In times of distress, they will always be there.

Yes, I can see them now.

How does that make you feel?

It makes me sad.

Anything else?

It... it makes me lonely.

♪ ♪

You don't have to be alone.

♪ ♪

We'll make it through this together.

♪ ♪

(applause)

What the hell are you doing?

Where is Sasha?

♪ ♪

(squeaking)

♪ ♪

I harbor no resentments.

I only wish for the day that we can break bread

and find a path to peace together.

♪ ♪

So that was that.

Well, I suppose so.

What happened to Robert and Alice?

Really, not much.

(laughing)

Everything just went back to normal.

(indistinct talking)

♪ ♪

And that's basically the story.

That's it?

We aren't on bad terms, I think,

but we're not good friends or anything.

♪ ♪

We exist in separate worlds.

You know?

♪ ♪

That's just how it is.

I see.

Well, what about Sasha?

Oh, I'm actually gonna hang out with her right now.

♪ ♪

Well, Job, this has been quite the confession.

Yes, it has been.

But hey, I warned you!

Well, that's the joy of life, is it not?

I mean, not having all of the answers,

sometimes we think we know what we're doing

and then God steps in to correct us.

But I know you'll do fine.

Thanks, Father Bentley.

♪ ♪

Hey, hey, hey, one more thing.

Is this yours?

I have never seen that pen in my entire life.

♪ ♪

Okay. I'll see you around.

Godspeed.

Hey, say hi to Maria for me!

(birds chirping)

Okay, what have you got?

First draft.

Ah, cool!

Interesting title.

Yeah.

Just take a look at it when you get a chance.

Do you know why I think people

want to become English teachers?

It's so they can make their students

read Huckleberry Finn out loud

without telling them what to do about the N-word.

I'm serious, they don't give any guidance out there.

They just let some poor sap run into an N-word

and just let him figure it out, you know?

I can imagine them rubbing their hands together

as some white girl approaches an N-word,

holding back chuckles and laughter

as she's drowning out there, you know?

(chuckling)

♪ ♪

Thanks for filling in for me.

Yeah, no problem.

♪ ♪

Look, I...

- Sasha, you don't have to... - Just give me a second.

♪ ♪

Look, I tried to keep it together that night, I did,

but I just feel like I've been burning out

the last few months, and...

♪ ♪

...that was just a little too much.

♪ ♪

Sometimes I feel like no one cares about what I want.

♪ ♪

You remember when we were lost at the fair?

Sure.

I was reminded of it recently.

♪ ♪

Anyway, I was so scared that we couldn't find our parents.

And I cried, as you know.

But...

♪ ♪

...you were there.

And that made me feel a lot better.

♪ ♪

I hope I can do that for you.

♪ ♪

Okay, Sasha, you were right from the beginning.

I was wrong, I should've listened to you.

- I am dumb. - I know.

♪ ♪

And there he is.

Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

No, you're actually right on time.

Oh!

- Hey. - Hi.

Any progress on the comic?

Just started the third issue.

Wow! That was fast.

- It's a lot of fun. - I'm glad!

♪ ♪

So.

Here we are.

Three high school kids.

Hanging out.

In a cemetery.

- Mhm. - Yup.

You guys wanna get out of here?

- Yeah. - Please.

♪ ♪

Ooh, guys, you guys are gonna want

to check out this pen I got.

- Ooh, a pen. - Shut up.

- Can I see it? - Yeah.

- It feels nice. - Yeah, yeah,

there's like a nice weight to it.

I was going to use it on Sasha's scripts,

but since you seem way more into it,

maybe you want to use it for one of your comics.

Hey, you haven't even read my script yet.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

I could have some good ideas!

Noah Shark!

It's like Noah's Ark,

but there's sharks in it.

What?

(indistinct remarks)

There are just sharks everywhere!

They're just gonna eat the animals,

but the old man has got to protect them.

Stupid.

- I think it's funny! - Thank you!

See, Benjamin can appreciate some quality concepts.

♪ ♪

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

♪ ♪

♪ ♪