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VOICE: *MTV...*
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[playing "Love Will Live"]
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MELISSA: Once again,
I would never compare my...
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00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:19,280
my experience with yours.
I know we have
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00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:22,820
so many different types
of experiences here,
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00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:24,490
but...
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if you've known abuse,
if you've known trauma...
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I've known a little myself,
and so I do understand it,
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and I do understand
how you can carry it with you.
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But there finally came
a time in 2016
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that women all over the world
were like, you know,
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no, I'm not going
to carry this alone anymore.
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I'm going to let it be known.
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You know, #MeToo,
that's right.
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It's about...
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It's about having
your own love right here,
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about loving yourself
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and letting
all that other stuff go.
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And knowing
that no matter what has
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ever happened to you,
that your love will live.
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[guitar strumming]
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*Well, I can smell the lies*
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*Like a filthy net on me*
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*All over my skin*
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*Suffocates my innocence*
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*Unwelcome hands on me*
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*All over again*
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*But there's
a lie in the shadows*
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*Saying I'm to blame*
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*And it's feeding
on my fear*
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*My confusion and my shame*
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*There's a lie in these years*
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*I've wasted on this pain*
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*Things are gonna change*
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[scattered cheers and screams]
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*Right...*
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*Now...*
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*I did not shatter,
did not crumble*
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*Didn't die*
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*I've chosen to live*
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*I'm no longer down*
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*I am so much stronger now*
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*I've got so much to give*
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*Not my fault*
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Not my fault!
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*Now it's my time*
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*Oh...*
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[solo-ing]
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[crescendo]
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*Love will live*
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*My love will love*
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*I did not shatter,
did not crumble*
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*Didn't die*
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*I've chosen to live*
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*Hey! I'm no longer down*
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*I am so much
stronger now*
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*I got so much to give*
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*Oh...*
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*I have chosen to live*
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*Oh...*
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*I have chosen to live*
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[cheering and applause]
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I love you!
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[soft music]
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It's all right.
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00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,150
When we formed
the Etheridge Foundation,
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00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,920
I mean, the basis
of what it was to be
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00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:21,260
was to help fund research
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to get...
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00:04:23,390 --> 00:04:24,960
people off
of opioid addiction
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or to keep them
from getting on opioids.
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You know,
just alternatives,
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because that was--
that was the frustrating part.
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00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:34,640
Well, there's a whole lot
of frustrating parts
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of having
a loved one addicted.
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STEVE PAULSON: Thinking back
to what happened to your son
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and sort-- I mean,
this is a "what if?"
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I mean, you wish
that for... other kids,
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00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,120
you know, young people
in that, you know--
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00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:52,560
hooked on
these powerful drugs.
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00:04:52,690 --> 00:04:54,160
-Opioids.
-Yeah.
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That-- what,
psilocybin would be
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available to them
for treatment?
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Believe me,
in my heart, I wished
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anything had been
available for my son,
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you know,
to legally do, and...
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yes, I--
my hope is that,
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within the next few years,
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there is something
that is recognized
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by our government,
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00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,720
is recognized
by the medical world,
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that is an alternative,
that is something
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that we can do to help,
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because there are
hundreds and thousands
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of people and families
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that are affected by this
every single day.
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Yeah. What's your hope?
What's your vision of
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once some of these
plant medicines,
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some of these psychedelics
become more available?
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00:05:39,970 --> 00:05:42,000
What might change? What are
you hoping will happen?
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00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:46,110
I'm hoping for a change
in hearts and minds.
102
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I think that people think
of drugs as drugs.
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00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,310
They all get thrown in.
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But to understand
there's a big difference,
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and this--
the plant medicine--
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can help...
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with the problems
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that the pharmaceuticals...
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have in the human body.
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It has everything to do
with what we're doing
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in the prison because
it's about lighting people up.
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It's about showing them
other avenues,
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other choices.
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The research is to help
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end the addiction
to opioids,
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which...
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leads to crime,
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because the person has
to fund this addiction
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that they can't get out of.
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If you can stop
that addiction...
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you're going to stop the crime.
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[crowd cheering]
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One of the best things
our society can do
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is to take another look
at psychedelics...
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and legalize them
for medical purposes.
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It would absolutely
change our whole country.
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Want me to play
some rock and roll guitar?
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00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:10,590
[up-tempo strumming]
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I want the beginning of
a song to be, oh, listen up.
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And then you want
that first part to be,
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oh, what's she singing about?
Oh... and then bam.
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You want to hit them
with something that...
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a chorus that they want
to hear again, you know?
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That's just
what I learned from...
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years and years and years
of songs and songwriters,
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***
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What I'm actually
going to say to them
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in introductions
to the songs...
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and why I'm there...
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that...
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I think about a lot.
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***
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I want to tell them, you know,
there's no guilt or shame.
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That stuff...
that's like drinking poison.
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Just... I don't want to tell
anybody what they should do.
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I just want
to inspire, inspire.
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I want them
to feel like, oh,
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all right...
I can do this.
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This is just time.
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And there will be a time
when I'm not here.
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***
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That's an idea.
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LEIGH: I could tell you
my whole life story
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in, like, a playlist.
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-Yeah, yeah.
-You know, I... just tie...
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songs to experiences
in my life,
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and I associate
certain songs
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-with certain memories.
-Yeah.
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My whole life,
you know what I mean?
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Fell in love with music
when I was a little--
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a little baby guy.
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-Little baby kid.
-Wow.
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But do you know my music?
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-Yeah.
-Yes-yes-yes? Okay.
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I pretty much know
that people who are, like...
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50, you know,
like, 40, 50,
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they know my main album,
they know.
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But once you get down to,
like, 30 or something,
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-It's like--
-That makes me feel bad.
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'Cause I'm 53,
and I don't know
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-your music that well.
-That's okay.
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I didn't really get
into music until here.
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-Oh, wow.
-And, I mean,
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I love to hear things,
but there were so many of us.
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Like I said, growing up,
you didn't get
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to pick the station.
You didn't get to pick
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-the station.
-You know?
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I love music. I listen
to a lot of classic rock,
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rock, kind of everything.
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Country. It doesn't
really matter.
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Oh, my gosh, I am so excited.
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I'm so ecstatic
because it'll be the only--
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it'll be the second concert
I've ever been to
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in my entire life.
The first one was, like,
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Night Rangers
and Cheap Trick
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or something like that
when I was 11 or 12.
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[laughing] And it was
just so fun and amazing.
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Ever since then,
like, I got pregnant,
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and I just--
I just focused
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my time and energy on that.
191
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So, I've never really
went out and never really
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done any more concerts.
So, when she comes,
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like, that's
gonna be amazing.
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Man, I've been
to a lot of, like,
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strange music,
196
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like Tech N9ne
and Krizz Kaliko and them.
197
00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:20,850
Def Leppard,
Styx, and Foreigner.
198
00:10:20,980 --> 00:10:22,520
Aerosmith, Kid Rock.
199
00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:24,390
Lil Wayne, Lil Wyte.
200
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,090
I like Ice Cube, Prince.
201
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:31,390
I mean, I have
an eclectic... genre.
202
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:34,700
I went to a Nelly concert
when I was, like, 15.
203
00:10:34,830 --> 00:10:36,500
I went to
a Ludacris concert
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00:10:36,630 --> 00:10:38,670
in high school.
[laughing]
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It was awesome.
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There's a lot of hope in music.
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00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,170
I mean,
I listen to it a lot now,
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00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:49,810
like, pretty much 24/7,
I have my music in my ear.
209
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:53,920
It gives you hope.
210
00:10:54,050 --> 00:10:57,320
Just the hope that there's
gonna be something better.
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Hope that I'm gonna
get away from...
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00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,760
the things
that are hurting me.
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00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:10,030
Just hope, period.
214
00:11:13,870 --> 00:11:15,870
MELISSA: My oldest,
who is now 25,
215
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,740
when she was about 15,
she actually started
216
00:11:17,870 --> 00:11:19,540
listening
to my music, right?
217
00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:22,040
And she listened to this song
and she came up to me
218
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:26,050
one day, she goes,
"Mom, you're just a stalker."
219
00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:28,220
-[laughter and cheers]
-I was like...
220
00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:29,820
I said,
"Well, I did not know
221
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,150
I was gonna have children."
222
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:32,690
I really--
it wasn't in my plan,
223
00:11:32,820 --> 00:11:35,260
I was... I am a gay,
I'm lesbian.
224
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,590
-You know?
-[cheering and applause]
225
00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:40,400
Whoo.
226
00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:43,100
And... And at the time,
227
00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:45,670
children? I was-- I was
gonna be a gay rock star.
228
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,340
So, children were not
in my world.
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It wasn't going to happen.
You know, I'm just saying,
230
00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:52,170
I'm writing
about this experience,
231
00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:56,010
and now, my children are
hearing all these songs that--
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all the naughty songs
I wrote, so...
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join me as I sing...
234
00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:05,520
one of the craziest songs
about basically being a stalker.
235
00:12:05,650 --> 00:12:07,920
-Okay?
-[cheering and applause]
236
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,490
*I know you're home*
237
00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:16,900
*You left your light on*
238
00:12:18,570 --> 00:12:20,900
*You know I'm here*
239
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:25,040
*The night is thin*
240
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:29,140
*I know you're alone*
241
00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:33,880
*I watched the car leave*
242
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,450
*Your lover is gone*
243
00:12:39,690 --> 00:12:42,060
*Let me in*
244
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,900
*Open your back door*
245
00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:52,130
*I just need to touch you*
246
00:12:53,070 --> 00:12:56,300
*Once more*
247
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,640
*Oh...*
248
00:12:59,770 --> 00:13:02,850
*I want to come over*
249
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:06,550
*To hell with the consequence
250
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:10,890
*You told me you loved me*
251
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:15,460
*That's all I believe
252
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,460
*I want to come over
253
00:13:21,130 --> 00:13:24,270
*It's a need
I can't explain*
254
00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:28,100
*To see you again*
255
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:33,580
*I want to come over*
256
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,410
*Oh...*
257
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,520
*Oh...*
258
00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:49,020
*Oh...*
259
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:54,000
*Oh...*
260
00:13:54,930 --> 00:13:58,170
-[holding note]
-[cheering and applause]
261
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,110
*I know you're confused*
262
00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:08,280
*I know that you're shaken*
263
00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:12,510
*You think we'll be lost*
264
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:17,090
*Once we begin*
265
00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:20,890
*But I know you're weak*
266
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:25,260
*I know that you want me*
267
00:14:25,390 --> 00:14:26,960
[cheering]
268
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,100
*Lover, don't speak*
269
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,340
*Let me in*
270
00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:36,100
[cheering]
271
00:14:41,910 --> 00:14:44,110
-[cheering]
-Come on.
272
00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:50,090
*I wanna come over*
273
00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:54,260
*To hell with the consequence
274
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:58,230
*You told me you love me
275
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:02,430
*That's all I believe*
276
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:06,430
*I want to come over
277
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:11,110
*It's a need I can't explain*
278
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:15,740
*I want to come over
and over*
279
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,180
*To see you*
280
00:15:19,610 --> 00:15:20,880
*To see you*
281
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:26,220
*Again...*
282
00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:28,520
[holding note]
283
00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:30,430
*Yeah*
284
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,430
*I want to come over*
285
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:40,770
*Hey*
286
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:44,140
*Hey, oh*
287
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,310
*Hey*
288
00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:56,420
*I want to come over*
289
00:15:56,550 --> 00:15:59,990
-[cheering and applause
-[playing outro]
290
00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:03,560
[song ends]
291
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,700
[soft guitar playing]
292
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:26,650
MELISSA:
This is a town in Kansas.
293
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:31,720
Kansas, Midwest,
that proudly has a sign up
294
00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:34,520
that says "Hometown
of Melissa Etheridge,"
295
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,490
who, you know,
296
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,260
broke a lot of the rules
297
00:16:38,390 --> 00:16:41,700
of maybe what everyone thought
a girl from a small town
298
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:43,130
should be.
299
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:47,340
So, I don't know, that says
a lot about this town, I think.
300
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,340
And this is
the high school right up here.
301
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,990
[laughing]
Who's got crazy hair?
302
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,020
Yeah, this is my dad
right here.
303
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,620
Look at that.
304
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,860
Regional tournament,
first place,
305
00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:14,230
class 2-A, AA, 1968.
306
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,800
Coach John Etheridge.
307
00:17:16,930 --> 00:17:19,370
Dad was important.
308
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:22,200
If it wasn't for him, I would
not have played these places.
309
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:25,210
I wouldn't have gone to play
in the bars and stuff.
310
00:17:25,340 --> 00:17:26,610
I could have never
done that without him.
311
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:28,310
And he didn't drink
or anything,
312
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,510
so he, you know,
would have a Coca Cola
313
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,750
and sit there
while I played, and he...
314
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,720
he never said,
"Oh, you have to go do this."
315
00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:36,750
He just allowed it.
316
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,490
He supported it
but never pushed it ever.
317
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:43,430
It was all my... I want
to do this, I want to do that.
318
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,230
And he saw
that I could sing
319
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,700
and had kind of
a special talent,
320
00:17:47,830 --> 00:17:50,170
so he was proud of it,
321
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:53,970
and he was just a really
wonderful person, you know?
322
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:56,770
I... only have
great memories of him.
323
00:17:57,970 --> 00:18:01,410
My mother was different,
and it was that sort of contrast
324
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:03,850
that I got
from both of them that...
325
00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:05,580
that messed me up
just enough
326
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,220
but gave me enough hope
to go out to the world
327
00:18:08,350 --> 00:18:11,820
and do what I wanted to do
and write about it.
328
00:18:13,590 --> 00:18:15,190
LEIGH: Yeah, I grew up
in Leavenworth too.
329
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,690
-Oh...
-And I went
330
00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:18,330
-to West Middle School.
-Did you graduate?
331
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:20,360
Yeah, I graduated in 2005.
332
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,930
-In 2005?
-Yeah.
333
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,330
I was long gone
by then, yeah.
334
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,930
Yeah, so the librarian
335
00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:27,470
-at West Middle School?
-Aww.
336
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,640
She had, like,
a PowerPoint presentation
337
00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:31,170
with all your
yearbook pictures
338
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,610
-and stuff.
-No, no-no-no!
339
00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:35,310
Every year
she showed it, yeah.
340
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,180
So, she'd bring it around
to the classes and stuff.
341
00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:41,080
[rock and roll playing]
342
00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:45,690
LEIGH: I haven't really
believed in myself
343
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:47,320
my whole life.
344
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,120
Like, I wanted to be a singer
when I was a little kid.
345
00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:50,760
That was, like, the dream.
346
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:56,130
And then at some point,
my dad actually told me
347
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:59,500
that a career in music
is not realistic,
348
00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:01,170
and you need to pick
something else.
349
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:02,540
You're not gonna be able
to do it, basically.
350
00:19:02,670 --> 00:19:04,370
And I believed him.
I don't know,
351
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,610
I just kind of just
let go of the music thing,
352
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,780
You know, but that kind of
always, like, hurt me.
353
00:19:09,910 --> 00:19:11,850
Sometimes just
listening to a song
354
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:13,520
can move me to tears.
355
00:19:13,650 --> 00:19:16,880
But when I watch
people perform...
356
00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:20,090
I get so emotional, like,
no matter what the song is,
357
00:19:20,220 --> 00:19:21,590
no matter
who it is singing,
358
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,660
no matter what it's about,
like, I don't--
359
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:26,460
really, I don't know why,
but it's, like,
360
00:19:26,590 --> 00:19:28,660
almost like
a hurt feeling.
361
00:19:29,860 --> 00:19:31,830
You know, and I kind of
held on to that
362
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,670
for a really long time.
363
00:19:34,470 --> 00:19:36,800
*There was a wave*
364
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:39,440
*Over the house*
365
00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:43,810
*There was fear
choked in my mouth*
366
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,250
*You were there*
367
00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:49,350
*You left your mark*
368
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,290
*As I stumbled*
369
00:19:51,420 --> 00:19:56,160
*In the dark*
370
00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:00,330
*There comes a time*
371
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:03,060
*We all know*
372
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,000
*There's a place that*
373
00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:07,470
*We must go*
374
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:12,110
*Into the soul,
into the heart*
375
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:16,240
*Into the dark*
376
00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:19,180
*There comes a time
377
00:20:19,310 --> 00:20:21,550
*We all know*
378
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,850
*There's a place that*
379
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,190
*We must go*
380
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:30,960
*Into the soul,
into the heart*
381
00:20:31,090 --> 00:20:34,430
*Into the dark*
382
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:39,270
***
383
00:20:49,510 --> 00:20:52,750
[cheering and screaming]
384
00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:20,610
***
385
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:58,950
***
386
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:10,360
[cheering and screaming]
387
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:15,530
[music fades]
388
00:22:25,710 --> 00:22:27,910
MELISSA: God,
I've been working on this
389
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:29,610
for weeks and weeks.
390
00:22:29,740 --> 00:22:31,710
And the thing is,
I will not have
391
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:37,020
performed this for anyone
until I sing it for them...
392
00:22:38,590 --> 00:22:40,020
at the concert.
393
00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:42,990
After visiting the facility,
394
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:46,590
I realized how much
everyone there is--
395
00:22:46,730 --> 00:22:50,230
is working toward getting
these people back out
396
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,900
and functioning in society.
397
00:22:53,030 --> 00:22:55,470
You know, getting
these women back to...
398
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:56,940
you know, a life.
399
00:22:57,070 --> 00:22:59,440
This is about redemption.
400
00:22:59,570 --> 00:23:01,740
This is about...
401
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,780
empowerment,
finding yourself.
402
00:23:03,910 --> 00:23:05,950
But then I didn't
want to write some...
403
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,380
"Oh, I'm a strong woman."
404
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,590
you know, I didn't--
you know, "I am woman,
405
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,420
hear me roar,"
I didn't want to do that either.
406
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,090
And so I thought,
what can-- what's--
407
00:23:15,860 --> 00:23:18,460
to me, what's one
of the most empowering things?
408
00:23:18,590 --> 00:23:21,330
And that's--
that's when...
409
00:23:21,460 --> 00:23:23,230
I can get an audience,
you know,
410
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,400
to call and response,
where I can sing something,
411
00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:29,240
and then they'll repeat it,
and it just brings everybody up.
412
00:23:29,370 --> 00:23:30,640
-So--
-And do they know
413
00:23:30,770 --> 00:23:32,740
that this is the song?
This is the song.
414
00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:35,140
Oh, I'm gonna say--
I'm gonna say--
415
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:36,610
"I...
416
00:23:36,740 --> 00:23:40,250
visited you,
I saw you,
417
00:23:40,380 --> 00:23:43,080
I thought about you...
418
00:23:43,220 --> 00:23:44,850
and I created this."
419
00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:48,760
-This is pretty intimate.
-Yeah, yeah, it is.
420
00:23:48,890 --> 00:23:50,690
You know, sitting here,
just playing it
421
00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:52,490
is going to be
very different than
422
00:23:52,630 --> 00:23:54,160
having the full band
behind me,
423
00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,200
and what I really envision,
424
00:23:56,330 --> 00:23:58,470
and it's all mixed up on here,
so I might get lost
425
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,700
because, you know,
I've got arrows...
426
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,710
going from here to there,
because... and I put myself
427
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,740
in a first person,
428
00:24:05,870 --> 00:24:08,140
like, I am you,
I am them.
429
00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:10,650
And...
430
00:24:10,780 --> 00:24:12,550
I hope that works.
431
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,380
Okay. Are you sure
you're ready?
432
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,120
-I'm ready.
-Okay.
433
00:24:16,420 --> 00:24:18,620
***
434
00:24:21,190 --> 00:24:22,690
[sighing]
435
00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:25,230
*Well, I took the pain*
436
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:26,830
*Turned it into rage*
437
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,760
*I could never kill
the truth*
438
00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:31,200
*Pumping in my veins*
439
00:24:31,330 --> 00:24:33,740
*I could never find*
440
00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:37,640
*A way out of my mind*
441
00:24:37,770 --> 00:24:39,770
*I had a whole lot of time*
442
00:24:39,910 --> 00:24:41,680
*Thought about it
every day*
443
00:24:41,810 --> 00:24:43,880
*Might have
fucked things up*
444
00:24:44,010 --> 00:24:45,810
*But I can break the chains*
445
00:24:45,950 --> 00:24:48,650
*Everyone who hurt me*
446
00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:52,090
*And every time
I hurt myself*
447
00:24:53,190 --> 00:24:58,560
*And I don't wanna
hurt no more*
448
00:25:00,860 --> 00:25:06,030
*I'm not gonna hurt
no more*
449
00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:10,640
*I'm a burning woman*
450
00:25:10,770 --> 00:25:13,510
*I might be on fire*
451
00:25:14,810 --> 00:25:17,780
*But I'm not broken*
452
00:25:18,410 --> 00:25:20,950
*I'm not broken
453
00:25:21,820 --> 00:25:24,790
*I'm a burning woman
454
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:28,190
*I believe in my desire*
455
00:25:29,660 --> 00:25:32,130
*And I am worth it*
456
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,900
*Baby, I'm worth it
457
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,700
And I'm going
to talk to 'em...
458
00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:41,370
and sing, you know?
459
00:25:42,340 --> 00:25:45,840
*I'm a burning woman
I'm a burning woman*
460
00:25:45,970 --> 00:25:48,980
*I'm a...
you know?
461
00:25:49,110 --> 00:25:51,310
But I have no idea
how much they will...
462
00:25:51,450 --> 00:25:53,280
they will...
463
00:25:54,250 --> 00:25:55,450
-Yeah?
-Yes.
464
00:25:55,580 --> 00:25:57,020
[sighing]
God.
465
00:25:57,150 --> 00:25:59,190
I just--
every word means so much.
466
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,320
I want every word
to be absolutely...
467
00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:04,230
ring true, you know?
468
00:26:06,530 --> 00:26:08,400
That's my hope, yes.
469
00:26:08,530 --> 00:26:10,730
[laughing]
470
00:26:10,870 --> 00:26:13,100
[up-tempo rock]
471
00:26:24,310 --> 00:26:26,250
***
472
00:26:42,860 --> 00:26:45,600
***
473
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,850
***
474
00:27:13,330 --> 00:27:14,760
Yes, absolutely--
475
00:27:26,470 --> 00:27:28,640
***
476
00:28:00,810 --> 00:28:04,050
MELISSA:
*Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!*
477
00:28:05,610 --> 00:28:07,310
*Oh!*
478
00:28:07,450 --> 00:28:10,920
*Somebody bring me
some water*
479
00:28:11,050 --> 00:28:14,620
*Can't you see
I'm burning alive?*
480
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:18,990
*Can't you see my baby's
got another lover?*
481
00:28:19,130 --> 00:28:23,100
*And I don't know
how I'm gonna survive*
482
00:28:23,230 --> 00:28:26,100
*Somebody bring me
some water*
483
00:28:27,070 --> 00:28:30,140
*Can't you see
it's out of control?*
484
00:28:31,070 --> 00:28:32,870
*Baby's got my heart*
485
00:28:33,010 --> 00:28:34,440
*Baby's got
my mind*
486
00:28:34,580 --> 00:28:37,110
*But tonight,
the sweet devil*
487
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:38,850
*The sweet devil's got my*
488
00:28:38,980 --> 00:28:43,350
*Soul*
489
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,290
***
490
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,170
*Baby's got my heart,
and my baby's got my mind*
491
00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:00,200
*But tonight,
the sweet devil*
492
00:29:00,330 --> 00:29:03,840
*The sweet devil's got my*
493
00:29:03,970 --> 00:29:06,870
*Soul*
494
00:29:07,010 --> 00:29:08,610
[cheering and applause]
495
00:29:08,740 --> 00:29:10,780
[playing outro]
496
00:29:18,550 --> 00:29:20,050
[song ends]
497
00:29:28,460 --> 00:29:32,600
MELISSA: I'm aware
that Beckett wasn't unusual.
498
00:29:32,730 --> 00:29:36,770
That there is a percentage
of people in this world
499
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:38,270
who...
500
00:29:39,340 --> 00:29:41,040
find it hard...
501
00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:44,710
to navigate
the normal avenues
502
00:29:44,850 --> 00:29:47,280
of society.
503
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,620
When he got
kicked out of school,
504
00:29:51,750 --> 00:29:54,290
and I put him in kind of--
at a private school,
505
00:29:54,420 --> 00:29:56,060
kind of
a one-on-one tutoring,
506
00:29:56,190 --> 00:29:57,860
that's when he meets
the other kids
507
00:29:57,990 --> 00:29:59,590
that are having trouble,
508
00:29:59,730 --> 00:30:01,230
and of course,
they have drugs.
509
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,630
And once he found, like,
cocaine or these other things,
510
00:30:04,770 --> 00:30:06,270
I don't really even know.
511
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,140
I instantly
put him in, like,
512
00:30:08,270 --> 00:30:10,370
wilderness things,
which he loved.
513
00:30:10,500 --> 00:30:12,470
And he would never admit
he loved them,
514
00:30:12,610 --> 00:30:14,410
but he did really well.
515
00:30:14,540 --> 00:30:17,610
And his one love,
the thing he loved to do,
516
00:30:17,740 --> 00:30:21,380
the thing that he would
line up to was snowboarding.
517
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,180
He went up to...
518
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:27,250
Mount Hood Snowboard Camp...
519
00:30:27,390 --> 00:30:29,520
and met, like, these
professional snowboarders
520
00:30:29,660 --> 00:30:32,490
from Aspen, and they were like,
"Dude, you've got the talent.
521
00:30:32,630 --> 00:30:34,160
Come train with us."
522
00:30:34,300 --> 00:30:36,460
And so he started
training with them.
523
00:30:37,430 --> 00:30:40,130
Took a big jump,
524
00:30:40,270 --> 00:30:42,370
landed on his head, and...
525
00:30:42,500 --> 00:30:45,640
broke his ankle
in a couple places.
526
00:30:45,770 --> 00:30:47,340
And I wasn't there.
527
00:30:48,610 --> 00:30:50,340
And...
528
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,010
the doctor...
529
00:30:52,150 --> 00:30:54,750
you know, gave him
Vicodin for the pain.
530
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,080
And it just...
531
00:30:57,220 --> 00:30:59,720
that started that road.
532
00:30:59,850 --> 00:31:02,860
He just really started
taking the pills for the pain.
533
00:31:02,990 --> 00:31:05,230
He didn't have a dream anymore.
534
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,360
He got really thin,
it was...
535
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:10,230
I realized
it was going into heroin,
536
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:11,970
you know,
because you kind of--
537
00:31:12,100 --> 00:31:13,630
you-- you do the pills
until they don't give you
538
00:31:13,770 --> 00:31:15,440
the pills anymore,
then you do the street pills,
539
00:31:15,570 --> 00:31:17,070
and then the street pills
are expensive,
540
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,740
but heroin isn't as expensive.
541
00:31:18,870 --> 00:31:20,370
And, you know, he--
542
00:31:20,510 --> 00:31:22,280
he would steal money from me.
He would do that.
543
00:31:22,410 --> 00:31:24,550
I would kick him out,
I would, you know--
544
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,050
as a parent, you...
545
00:31:27,180 --> 00:31:29,250
when you have someone
who's using and addicted,
546
00:31:29,380 --> 00:31:31,120
you don't know,
you don't know whether,
547
00:31:31,250 --> 00:31:33,050
okay, if I give you this,
if I put you in
548
00:31:33,190 --> 00:31:35,390
a really great place
and maybe help you up,
549
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,590
and, you know, get you...
you know, a life,
550
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:38,930
a life...
551
00:31:39,060 --> 00:31:40,160
maybe you'll...
you know?
552
00:31:40,830 --> 00:31:44,300
He would get sober
two or three or four times.
553
00:31:44,430 --> 00:31:46,970
You know, he went through it,
came off it, was clean.
554
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:50,070
And... And he just
couldn't...
555
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:53,410
he couldn't do adult life.
He couldn't do it.
556
00:31:59,580 --> 00:32:02,680
I was addicted.
I'm addicted to meth.
557
00:32:02,820 --> 00:32:04,790
And it just...
it destroys you.
558
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,350
It really does, and...
559
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,160
No matter how much
you want something different,
560
00:32:11,290 --> 00:32:14,960
it's hard to stop it
once you get started.
561
00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:16,730
I was doing really good
until they said,
562
00:32:16,860 --> 00:32:18,430
"Your rights are terminated
for not being able to show up
563
00:32:18,570 --> 00:32:20,400
at court,"
and as soon as they said
564
00:32:20,530 --> 00:32:22,570
I can't have my kids no more...
565
00:32:23,870 --> 00:32:27,340
I just roller coaster'd
downhill so hard and so fast.
566
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:30,340
JESSICA: Addicts--
throwing them in jail
567
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,180
is not going to change
their way of thinking.
568
00:32:32,310 --> 00:32:33,910
It's not going to change
their mind, really.
569
00:32:34,050 --> 00:32:35,580
It's just going to pause it.
570
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,680
Because, when you're
in jail, it pauses you
571
00:32:37,820 --> 00:32:39,690
from-- from
the outside world
572
00:32:39,820 --> 00:32:43,620
instead of letting
the outside world in with it.
573
00:32:55,870 --> 00:32:59,140
KRISTI: I think about it
here, now, every day.
574
00:32:59,270 --> 00:33:03,210
If somebody handed it to me,
I think I would do it.
575
00:33:03,340 --> 00:33:07,210
It's like, why would
you not have a drug problem?
576
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,120
That's your therapy.
577
00:33:14,420 --> 00:33:16,520
It's... climbs up
in your brain,
578
00:33:16,660 --> 00:33:19,830
and it just
fingers its way...
579
00:33:20,660 --> 00:33:23,330
to every part
of who you are,
580
00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:26,570
till you become
your addiction.
581
00:33:27,930 --> 00:33:30,100
LEIGH:
I think it's detrimental
582
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,040
to every aspect of your life.
583
00:33:32,170 --> 00:33:34,180
Not just
your money situation,
584
00:33:34,310 --> 00:33:37,180
but, like,
your integrity
585
00:33:37,310 --> 00:33:40,410
goes... out the window.
586
00:33:40,550 --> 00:33:42,580
It brings to the forefront
pieces of your personality
587
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,690
that would never
be there otherwise.
588
00:33:44,820 --> 00:33:48,720
You know? It, like,
darkens your whole...
589
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:50,520
existence.
590
00:33:50,660 --> 00:33:53,230
Like, I started smoking weed
when I was, like, 13,
591
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,700
and it kind of
just snowballed from there.
592
00:33:55,830 --> 00:33:58,830
And it was never, like,
any peer pressure situation.
593
00:33:58,970 --> 00:34:02,240
I just wanted to know
what other things felt like.
594
00:34:02,370 --> 00:34:05,110
So I tried everything.
595
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,310
And, like, if I stopped
doing one thing,
596
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,210
I just traded it
for another thing.
597
00:34:10,340 --> 00:34:13,210
It was like, "Oh, well,
I quit doing cocaine,"
598
00:34:13,350 --> 00:34:17,150
but I was, like, doing ecstasy
all the time after that.
599
00:34:19,650 --> 00:34:22,190
I got pregnant
with my daughter.
600
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,860
And I lost her, she...
601
00:34:25,990 --> 00:34:28,690
she died, like,
ten minutes before I had her,
602
00:34:28,830 --> 00:34:30,930
and none of the doctors
knew why or anything.
603
00:34:31,060 --> 00:34:32,800
I was, like,
19 when I had her.
604
00:34:33,770 --> 00:34:35,640
That, I just...
605
00:34:36,970 --> 00:34:38,740
numbed that,
I didn't really deal with it.
606
00:34:38,870 --> 00:34:43,140
I numbed it with pills
and alcohol and whatever.
607
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:47,510
There's been a lot
of super-intense feelings.
608
00:34:48,350 --> 00:34:50,050
About one thing
or another, like,
609
00:34:50,180 --> 00:34:52,050
for as long as
I can remember
610
00:34:52,190 --> 00:34:54,460
In the last couple of years,
it's all just come to a head.
611
00:34:54,590 --> 00:34:57,690
Like, I grew up here...
you know?
612
00:34:57,820 --> 00:34:59,960
Like, I was an adult
when I got arrested,
613
00:35:00,090 --> 00:35:01,730
like, legally, but...
614
00:35:01,860 --> 00:35:04,930
I didn't grow up
until after I'd been here.
615
00:35:05,070 --> 00:35:06,430
You know?
616
00:35:12,170 --> 00:35:14,840
[music fading in]
617
00:35:17,340 --> 00:35:20,080
-[cheering]
-A very short breeze.
618
00:35:26,020 --> 00:35:27,690
Thank you.
What-- oh!
619
00:35:27,820 --> 00:35:28,960
Yeah.
Thank you.
620
00:35:29,090 --> 00:35:30,320
Remind me
it's fucking A.
621
00:35:30,460 --> 00:35:32,090
It's not in E, it's in A.
Remind me.
622
00:35:32,230 --> 00:35:34,400
Go, "Melissa, it's in A."
623
00:35:34,530 --> 00:35:36,060
Because I just really--
624
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:37,430
I mean, I'll turn around
and look at you.
625
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,570
So, tell me,
because that's--
626
00:35:39,700 --> 00:35:41,100
thank you.
627
00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:42,770
She just said
that she wrote a new song,
628
00:35:42,900 --> 00:35:44,410
and she wants
to work through it.
629
00:35:44,540 --> 00:35:46,470
She sent us, like, a...
630
00:35:46,610 --> 00:35:48,680
like, a voice memo
of her playing it.
631
00:35:48,810 --> 00:35:51,180
We kind of came up
with some ideas at home
632
00:35:51,310 --> 00:35:53,010
and then got together
in a room and just
633
00:35:53,150 --> 00:35:57,220
worked it out; within probably
a half hour, we had it.
634
00:35:57,350 --> 00:35:59,390
Well, today is what, Sunday?
635
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,220
That was on Friday.
636
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,320
So, three days ago, yeah.
637
00:36:03,460 --> 00:36:05,130
Okay, so you'll--
you'll start
638
00:36:05,260 --> 00:36:07,160
a little--
a little beat, right?
639
00:36:07,290 --> 00:36:09,600
-[drumbeat]
-Yeah.
640
00:36:10,660 --> 00:36:12,630
And I'll do a whole lot
of talking here.
641
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,000
[whispering]
And then if I...
642
00:36:15,140 --> 00:36:18,410
[guitar strumming]
643
00:36:18,540 --> 00:36:21,110
I'm-- I'm really excited.
I'm a little nervous.
644
00:36:21,240 --> 00:36:22,540
-Why?
-Well, because
645
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,710
it really is different,
and I don't know
646
00:36:24,850 --> 00:36:27,710
what to expect, all right?
So, it's-- it's a cool thing.
647
00:36:27,850 --> 00:36:29,620
-We are so excited.
-Super-excited.
648
00:36:29,750 --> 00:36:31,290
-Yeah, I'm stoked.
-Oh, so know that,
649
00:36:31,420 --> 00:36:32,990
when you hear
this song tomorrow,
650
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,820
that you all are in that song.
651
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,760
And, yeah... really.
652
00:36:36,890 --> 00:36:40,360
-And we're all gonna cry.
-[laughter]
653
00:36:45,230 --> 00:36:46,500
MELISSA:
After reading your stories,
654
00:36:46,630 --> 00:36:49,200
the things that
really hit my heart
655
00:36:49,340 --> 00:36:52,110
and opened me up was...
656
00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:54,580
we're not different.
657
00:36:54,710 --> 00:36:59,510
I want the person
watching this to go,
658
00:36:59,650 --> 00:37:01,520
"Oh, my God,
that reminds me of my sister.
659
00:37:01,650 --> 00:37:03,450
That's my, you know,
this is...
660
00:37:03,580 --> 00:37:05,050
oh, my mother, my..."
661
00:37:05,190 --> 00:37:06,820
you know,
whatever it might be.
662
00:37:06,950 --> 00:37:09,090
You know, so there's
more understanding
663
00:37:09,220 --> 00:37:10,660
the whole-- the whole...
664
00:37:10,790 --> 00:37:15,030
the system of, you know...
incarceration and stuff.
665
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:16,860
[sighing]
Okay.
666
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,070
-[laughter]
-You're doing amazing.
667
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:20,700
-I love it.
-Oh, thank you.
668
00:37:20,830 --> 00:37:23,200
-You're doing a great job.
-We appreciate it.
669
00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:32,610
The WALC Office here is,
like, the lady who deals with
670
00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:35,050
all the kids
and their visits.
671
00:37:35,180 --> 00:37:37,120
DANI ESSMAN: The Women's
Activity Learning Center is
672
00:37:37,250 --> 00:37:38,650
what this program is called.
673
00:37:38,790 --> 00:37:40,790
It is in place
so that all of our moms
674
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,560
and grandmas that have kids
that are 18 and under
675
00:37:43,690 --> 00:37:45,830
can still have
a functioning relationship
676
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,190
and bond with their kids
when they come here.
677
00:37:48,330 --> 00:37:50,530
My kids are in North Carolina,
so obviously they can't
678
00:37:50,660 --> 00:37:52,100
just drive here
and see me.
679
00:37:52,230 --> 00:37:54,900
So I get video visits
with them once a month.
680
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,900
They have the GTL,
which is the tablets,
681
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:01,780
so we can text back and forth,
and they can send me pictures.
682
00:38:01,910 --> 00:38:03,580
They send me pictures
in the mail.
683
00:38:03,710 --> 00:38:06,380
I have a little boy.
He'll be 13 in October.
684
00:38:06,510 --> 00:38:09,320
His name is Jaden,
and he's awesome.
685
00:38:09,450 --> 00:38:12,920
He's just the coolest kid,
and he's, like, my biggest fan.
686
00:38:13,050 --> 00:38:14,620
Still.
687
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,860
There's different rooms
that are themed.
688
00:38:17,990 --> 00:38:20,290
There's a Winnie the Pooh room
that you can play in.
689
00:38:20,430 --> 00:38:21,760
There's like
a "Jungle Book" room
690
00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:23,960
you can play in
with your kids and stuff.
691
00:38:24,100 --> 00:38:26,330
And they come,
and we just get snacks
692
00:38:26,470 --> 00:38:28,070
and play games
and hang out.
693
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,740
A lot of the women here lose
their parental rights,
694
00:38:30,870 --> 00:38:33,740
and it's more so
because of their time.
695
00:38:33,870 --> 00:38:37,840
The courts tend to use prison
as a reason for the termination,
696
00:38:37,980 --> 00:38:40,550
instead of seeing
that the women are here
697
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,680
and they're sober
and they're trying,
698
00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:44,720
and that maybe
they can leave here
699
00:38:44,850 --> 00:38:46,720
a better parent
than they came in.
700
00:38:46,850 --> 00:38:48,690
A lot of the ladies lose
their identity
701
00:38:48,820 --> 00:38:50,460
as being a mother
when they come here
702
00:38:50,590 --> 00:38:53,490
because they just become
an inmate or a resident.
703
00:38:53,630 --> 00:38:55,200
But they're moms.
704
00:38:55,330 --> 00:38:57,530
I love the mom room.
I really do.
705
00:38:57,660 --> 00:38:59,670
It's amazing
how a child can
706
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,700
put that smile
on your face and just
707
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,340
the love
that they show you
708
00:39:03,470 --> 00:39:04,970
and the love
that you feel for them.
709
00:39:06,270 --> 00:39:07,940
And to not have that...
710
00:39:08,070 --> 00:39:10,010
is the worst feeling
in the world.
711
00:39:10,910 --> 00:39:13,210
It makes you lose
your mind, like,
712
00:39:13,350 --> 00:39:14,450
you feel like
you're worthless
713
00:39:14,580 --> 00:39:15,780
all of a sudden,
like you have
714
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,490
no reason
for existence because...
715
00:39:18,620 --> 00:39:20,550
when they take that
from you, and that's
716
00:39:20,690 --> 00:39:22,690
all that you live for,
717
00:39:22,820 --> 00:39:24,790
it feels like
you have nothing else left.
718
00:39:27,260 --> 00:39:29,930
It's that feeling
like any mom has.
719
00:39:30,060 --> 00:39:32,530
Like, when I wake up
in the morning...
720
00:39:33,870 --> 00:39:35,570
I want to be the one
making them breakfast.
721
00:39:35,700 --> 00:39:38,910
I want to be the one
getting them ready for school.
722
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,370
I was around my kids
every day of their lives
723
00:39:41,510 --> 00:39:43,310
before I left, so...
724
00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:46,650
I just don't want to, like,
lose that connection with them.
725
00:39:46,780 --> 00:39:48,580
I don't want them
to feel, like, less than,
726
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,750
like they're not as loved
or that I'm not there,
727
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:53,390
because I am,
I mean, I--
728
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:54,720
I'm very lucky
in the sense that
729
00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:56,460
I do get to call home
every day
730
00:39:56,590 --> 00:39:57,760
and tell them that,
731
00:39:57,890 --> 00:40:00,090
but just seeing
their faces
732
00:40:00,230 --> 00:40:01,630
and...
733
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:03,500
just seeing them
in general just was
734
00:40:03,630 --> 00:40:05,830
so different from
just talking on the phone.
735
00:40:12,570 --> 00:40:14,410
MELISSA:
Last time I...
736
00:40:14,540 --> 00:40:16,210
saw him,
he had FaceTimed me,
737
00:40:16,340 --> 00:40:18,010
and he had put the...
738
00:40:18,140 --> 00:40:21,250
computer on his bed,
and he was in...
739
00:40:21,380 --> 00:40:24,120
such a great deal of pain.
740
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:27,090
And he was...
741
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:29,960
he was just writhing,
and it was...
742
00:40:30,090 --> 00:40:31,390
it was...
I think
743
00:40:31,530 --> 00:40:33,230
he was trying
to get off the Fentanyl.
744
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:34,930
And I finally...
745
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:37,130
his other mother and I,
746
00:40:37,260 --> 00:40:39,470
we called the police,
747
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,000
and they came in, and...
748
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,710
unless they're saying
they're gonna be
749
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:46,570
a harm to themselves
or somebody else,
750
00:40:46,710 --> 00:40:48,440
they can't do anything.
They don't do anything.
751
00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:50,310
They just said,
"Well, he's out of it,
752
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:52,510
but he's alive,"
753
00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:54,450
and that was
all we could get them to do.
754
00:40:54,580 --> 00:40:56,580
And so then
I didn't hear from him.
755
00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:59,090
And I didn't hear from him
for two days.
756
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:04,760
And then we called
and got another...
757
00:41:04,890 --> 00:41:06,860
wellness check,
a welfare check,
758
00:41:06,990 --> 00:41:09,600
where the police came
and said he was dead.
759
00:41:13,030 --> 00:41:15,440
We all gathered together
as a family and...
760
00:41:15,570 --> 00:41:17,600
wept and mourned and...
761
00:41:17,740 --> 00:41:19,170
you know, had that.
762
00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:20,740
And the next morning,
763
00:41:20,870 --> 00:41:23,040
as I was waking up...
764
00:41:23,180 --> 00:41:26,750
I used to always
look at my phone...
765
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,050
and he would have
texted me or something,
766
00:41:30,180 --> 00:41:31,720
you know, in the middle
of the night or something.
767
00:41:31,850 --> 00:41:35,860
He was always...
and so, in my dream state...
768
00:41:36,690 --> 00:41:39,230
I looked at my...
I looked at my phone
769
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,030
in my dream.
770
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:42,360
It was from Beckett,
771
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:44,830
and it said, "No pain."
772
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:50,400
I understand the loss.
773
00:41:50,540 --> 00:41:52,910
I see it every day
774
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,880
when he's not here,
when... when our family
775
00:41:57,010 --> 00:41:59,910
gets together around
the table, there's the loss.
776
00:42:00,050 --> 00:42:02,180
The loss is,
he's not there.
777
00:42:03,220 --> 00:42:08,990
I felt the grief. I think
grief is a temporary emotion
778
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:13,290
that lets us know
just how wonderful
779
00:42:13,430 --> 00:42:15,700
things were.
780
00:42:15,830 --> 00:42:17,660
So, yes, I have grieved.
781
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:22,300
Yes, I feel loss.
I do not let it take me
782
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,470
out of that natural state
783
00:42:25,610 --> 00:42:27,710
of well-being.
784
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,710
Why? Why would I?
It would make me sick.
785
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:34,650
It would take me away
from other members of my family.
786
00:42:34,780 --> 00:42:39,190
No, that makes no sense.
I want to show my family
787
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:40,820
that...
788
00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:43,490
You can have something
like this happen to you,
789
00:42:43,620 --> 00:42:45,590
and you can understand.
790
00:42:47,230 --> 00:42:49,030
Well, maybe
you don't understand.
791
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,870
You can accept
792
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,900
a person's choices
in their lives,
793
00:42:54,030 --> 00:42:56,200
and it doesn't have
to devastate you.
794
00:42:56,340 --> 00:42:58,970
If I can teach that
to my children,
795
00:42:59,110 --> 00:43:02,180
I think
I've done them a service.
796
00:43:13,490 --> 00:43:14,820
MELISSA:
When I met with some...
797
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,720
about five of
these wonderful residents,
798
00:43:17,860 --> 00:43:19,490
they wrote me
a lot of letters.
799
00:43:19,630 --> 00:43:21,430
I got to know them
through the letters.
800
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,660
You are...
801
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,630
You are amazing women.
802
00:43:26,770 --> 00:43:29,170
I wrote you all a song.
803
00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:31,810
-[cheering and applause]
-Yes, I did.
804
00:43:31,940 --> 00:43:36,110
I have never played
this song for anyone but you.
805
00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:38,780
-[cheering and applause]
-[drumbeat starts]
806
00:43:38,910 --> 00:43:42,020
Now, this song is about...
807
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:46,590
well, it's about that fire
that I see inside of all of you.
808
00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:48,590
The...
809
00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:50,020
the drive you have to change,
810
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:52,330
the drive you have
to show everyone
811
00:43:52,460 --> 00:43:54,230
what you can do,
812
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,860
who you are, what you feel.
813
00:43:57,700 --> 00:44:01,570
And you've shown me that you are
what I call a burning woman.
814
00:44:01,700 --> 00:44:03,540
You've got a fire inside.
815
00:44:03,670 --> 00:44:05,610
Yeah, you got that fire inside
816
00:44:05,740 --> 00:44:07,240
and I know maybe
that fire might have led you
817
00:44:07,370 --> 00:44:10,680
to make some choices
that might have taken you
818
00:44:10,810 --> 00:44:13,580
down some intense roads.
819
00:44:13,710 --> 00:44:16,150
But that fire,
you can take that fire,
820
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,580
and you can make
that fire work for you.
821
00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:20,690
So I called this song
822
00:44:20,820 --> 00:44:23,820
"A Burning Woman,"
because you are.
823
00:44:24,830 --> 00:44:26,730
That's good.
That's a good thing.
824
00:44:26,860 --> 00:44:28,430
You got that fire.
825
00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:32,470
And I'm a little nervous because
this is the world premiere.
826
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:33,970
[cheering and applause]
827
00:44:34,100 --> 00:44:36,640
And I give it to you,
my friends.
828
00:44:36,770 --> 00:44:39,910
This... you have inspired me.
829
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:43,110
And I hope you find
a little bit of yourselves
830
00:44:43,240 --> 00:44:44,710
in this song...
831
00:44:44,850 --> 00:44:46,510
because I've taken you on
832
00:44:46,650 --> 00:44:48,110
and tried to see
through your eyes
833
00:44:48,250 --> 00:44:50,350
and feel
in your heart, okay?
834
00:44:51,450 --> 00:44:52,650
So here you go.
835
00:44:52,790 --> 00:44:54,920
Here's "A Burning Woman."
All right?
836
00:44:56,660 --> 00:45:01,030
[up-tempo rock melody]
837
00:45:07,970 --> 00:45:10,140
I'm so excited.
838
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:15,210
*I took the pain,
turned it into rage*
839
00:45:15,340 --> 00:45:17,380
*I could never kill
the truth*
840
00:45:17,510 --> 00:45:19,110
*Pumping in my veins*
841
00:45:19,250 --> 00:45:21,850
*I could never find*
842
00:45:22,980 --> 00:45:26,050
*A way out of my mind*
843
00:45:26,190 --> 00:45:28,220
*I've had
a whole lot of time*
844
00:45:28,350 --> 00:45:30,160
*Thought about it every day*
845
00:45:30,290 --> 00:45:32,490
*I might have
fucked things up*
846
00:45:32,630 --> 00:45:34,690
*But I can break the chain*
847
00:45:34,830 --> 00:45:37,630
*Of everyone who hurt me*
848
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:41,600
*And every time I hurt myself*
849
00:45:41,730 --> 00:45:44,670
*And I don't wanna hurt*
850
00:45:44,810 --> 00:45:47,170
*No more*
851
00:45:49,940 --> 00:45:52,450
*I'm not gonna hurt*
852
00:45:52,580 --> 00:45:55,880
*No more*
853
00:45:56,020 --> 00:45:58,720
*Because
I'm a burning woman*
854
00:45:58,850 --> 00:46:00,120
[cheering and screaming]
855
00:46:00,250 --> 00:46:02,890
*I'm a burning woman*
856
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,190
*I'm not broken*
857
00:46:07,790 --> 00:46:10,000
*I'm not broken*
858
00:46:11,130 --> 00:46:14,100
*I'm a burning woman*
859
00:46:14,970 --> 00:46:18,070
*I'm a burning woman
860
00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:21,410
*And I am worth it*
861
00:46:23,010 --> 00:46:25,450
*Oh, baby, I'm worth it*
862
00:46:27,010 --> 00:46:28,450
*Oh, there's nothing to fix*
863
00:46:28,580 --> 00:46:30,480
*I ain't got
nothing to cure*
864
00:46:30,620 --> 00:46:34,550
*I might not know much
but I know for sure*
865
00:46:34,690 --> 00:46:36,490
*Hurt people*
866
00:46:38,620 --> 00:46:40,290
*Hurt people*
867
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:45,370
*And I don't wanna hurt*
868
00:46:45,500 --> 00:46:48,630
*No more*
869
00:46:48,770 --> 00:46:51,400
*'Cause I'm a burning woman*
870
00:46:51,540 --> 00:46:55,510
-[cheering]
-*I'm a burning woman*
871
00:46:56,810 --> 00:46:59,250
*And I'm not broken*
872
00:47:00,810 --> 00:47:02,980
*I'm not broken*
873
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,920
*I'm a burning woman*
874
00:47:07,790 --> 00:47:10,360
*I'm a burning woman
875
00:47:11,790 --> 00:47:14,090
*And I am worth it*
876
00:47:15,230 --> 00:47:17,960
*Oh, baby, I'm worth it*
877
00:47:20,070 --> 00:47:23,300
[instrumental break]
878
00:47:35,350 --> 00:47:36,950
*Ahh...*
879
00:47:38,050 --> 00:47:40,120
This is where you come in.
880
00:47:40,250 --> 00:47:42,790
You got to help me now.
All right?
881
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,190
All right? All right.
882
00:47:45,330 --> 00:47:47,960
It goes like this.
You just repeat after me, okay?
883
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,860
*I'm a burning woman
884
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:52,770
ALL: *I'm a burning woman*
885
00:47:52,900 --> 00:47:54,330
*I'm a burning woman*
886
00:47:54,470 --> 00:47:56,500
ALL: *I'm a burning woman*
887
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,240
*I'm not broken*
888
00:47:58,370 --> 00:48:00,140
ALL: *I'm not broken*
889
00:48:00,270 --> 00:48:01,980
*I'm not broken*
890
00:48:02,110 --> 00:48:03,910
ALL: *I'm not broken*
891
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:05,810
*I'm a burning woman*
892
00:48:05,950 --> 00:48:07,710
ALL: *I'm a burning woman*
893
00:48:07,850 --> 00:48:09,320
*I'm a burning woman*
894
00:48:09,450 --> 00:48:11,480
ALL: *I'm a burning woman*
895
00:48:11,620 --> 00:48:13,220
*And I'm worth it*
896
00:48:13,350 --> 00:48:15,520
-ALL: *And I'm worth it
-*Hey!*
897
00:48:15,660 --> 00:48:17,290
*I'm worth it*
898
00:48:17,420 --> 00:48:19,160
ALL: *I'm worth it*
899
00:48:19,290 --> 00:48:22,430
-Whoo-hoo!
-[cheering and applause]
900
00:48:23,260 --> 00:48:26,470
All right, we're gonna
take it up another level.
901
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:29,470
-Are you ready?
-[scattered shouts]
902
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:32,140
*I might have
fucked things up*
903
00:48:32,270 --> 00:48:34,070
ALL: *I might
have fucked things up*
904
00:48:34,210 --> 00:48:35,740
*I might have
fucked things up*
905
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:37,540
ALL: *I might
have fucked things up*
906
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:39,650
*I might have
fucked things up*
907
00:48:39,780 --> 00:48:41,610
ALL: *I might
have fucked things up*
908
00:48:41,750 --> 00:48:43,650
Oh, damn, that's fun.
909
00:48:43,780 --> 00:48:45,350
Yeah? We're gonna
do it again.
910
00:48:45,490 --> 00:48:47,290
-[cheering]
-[laughing] Nah,
911
00:48:47,420 --> 00:48:49,260
we're gonna do it again
'cause that was so much fun.
912
00:48:49,390 --> 00:48:52,060
Okay.
I've dreamed of that.
913
00:48:52,890 --> 00:48:55,060
Warden, I thought about you
when I wrote this song.
914
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,000
You said I could
do anything I wanted.
915
00:48:57,130 --> 00:48:58,830
-[cheering and shouts]
-[laughing]
916
00:48:58,970 --> 00:49:01,300
I want you to feel it now.
917
00:49:01,430 --> 00:49:03,540
I want you to feel it.
I want you to know it.
918
00:49:03,670 --> 00:49:05,370
I want you to sing with me.
919
00:49:05,510 --> 00:49:07,170
Okay, here we go.
920
00:49:07,310 --> 00:49:09,410
*I'm a burning woman*
921
00:49:09,540 --> 00:49:11,180
ALL: *I'm a burning woman*
922
00:49:11,310 --> 00:49:12,910
*I'm a burning woman*
923
00:49:13,050 --> 00:49:15,520
ALL: *I'm a burning woman*
924
00:49:15,650 --> 00:49:16,980
*I'm not broken*
925
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:19,120
ALL: *I'm not broken*
926
00:49:19,250 --> 00:49:20,990
*I'm not broken*
927
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:22,860
ALL: *I'm not broken*
928
00:49:22,990 --> 00:49:24,420
*I'm a burning woman*
929
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,760
ALL: *I'm a burning woman*
930
00:49:26,890 --> 00:49:28,490
*I'm a burning woman*
931
00:49:28,630 --> 00:49:30,600
ALL: *I'm a burning woman*
932
00:49:30,730 --> 00:49:32,270
*I am worth it*
933
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:34,470
ALL: *I am worth it*
934
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:36,040
*I am worth it*
935
00:49:36,170 --> 00:49:38,070
ALL: *I am worth it*
936
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:39,770
*I might have
fucked things up*
937
00:49:39,910 --> 00:49:42,080
ALL: *I might
have fucked things up*
938
00:49:42,210 --> 00:49:44,110
*I might have
fucked things up*
939
00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:46,050
ALL: *I might
have fucked things up*
940
00:49:46,180 --> 00:49:47,750
*I might have
fucked things up*
941
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:49,380
ALL: *I might
have fucked things up*
942
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:52,250
*But I can break the chain*
943
00:49:52,390 --> 00:49:55,560
-ALL: *Break the chain
-*A burning woman*
944
00:49:57,020 --> 00:49:59,430
*I'm a burning woman*
945
00:50:00,890 --> 00:50:03,260
*I'm not broken*
946
00:50:04,660 --> 00:50:07,000
*I'm not broken*
947
00:50:08,270 --> 00:50:09,970
*I'm a burning woman*
948
00:50:10,100 --> 00:50:11,340
ALL: *I'm a burning woman*
949
00:50:11,470 --> 00:50:13,840
*I'm a burning woman*
950
00:50:13,970 --> 00:50:15,740
ALL: *I'm a burning woman*
951
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:17,380
*And I'm worth it*
952
00:50:17,510 --> 00:50:19,280
ALL: *And I'm worth it*
953
00:50:19,410 --> 00:50:21,250
*I am worth it*
954
00:50:21,380 --> 00:50:23,720
ALL: *I am worth it*
955
00:50:24,750 --> 00:50:27,320
[crowd cheering]
956
00:50:38,930 --> 00:50:41,100
***
957
00:50:48,740 --> 00:50:51,880
[playing outro]
958
00:50:52,010 --> 00:50:55,720
[cheering and applause]
959
00:50:57,150 --> 00:50:58,680
[song ends]
960
00:51:00,290 --> 00:51:02,090
[cheering and applause]
961
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:13,070
-We love you, Melissa!
-I love you.
962
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,640
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
963
00:51:22,740 --> 00:51:24,840
My first concert ever.
Thanks, Melissa.
964
00:51:24,980 --> 00:51:26,480
You did a badass job.
965
00:51:26,610 --> 00:51:27,910
-We love you!
-We love you, Melissa.
966
00:51:28,050 --> 00:51:30,050
Thank you.
967
00:51:31,450 --> 00:51:34,120
Did my wife get--
oh, there she is, okay.
968
00:51:40,330 --> 00:51:43,130
And then it's done.
And then it's all over.
969
00:51:43,260 --> 00:51:45,270
-Hey, Jermaine.
-Thanks for the opportunity.
970
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:46,630
-Oh, yeah.
-Appreciate you. Love you.
971
00:51:46,770 --> 00:51:48,030
-I love you so much.
-Have a good one.
972
00:51:48,330 --> 00:51:50,540
***
973
00:51:55,580 --> 00:51:57,380
I'm exhausted,
but I think they are, too.
974
00:51:57,510 --> 00:51:58,880
I think they're all
gonna sleep well tonight
975
00:51:59,010 --> 00:52:01,050
and have a good day tomorrow.
976
00:52:01,180 --> 00:52:02,480
How about them
all singing with you
977
00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:04,420
-on "Burning Woman"?
-Okay, that song,
978
00:52:04,550 --> 00:52:06,250
-I felt the whole--
-Oh, it--
979
00:52:06,390 --> 00:52:07,720
--group of them
came together
980
00:52:07,850 --> 00:52:09,320
because I think
they understood that...
981
00:52:09,460 --> 00:52:10,720
-Yes, yes.
-...this was for them.
982
00:52:10,860 --> 00:52:12,460
It landed exactly
where I wanted it to.
983
00:52:12,590 --> 00:52:14,530
-Yeah, yeah.
-It really...
984
00:52:14,660 --> 00:52:16,560
it really...
God, it resonated.
985
00:52:16,700 --> 00:52:18,800
And the women in front,
the ones,
986
00:52:18,930 --> 00:52:20,230
the five that I spoke to,
987
00:52:20,370 --> 00:52:23,940
they really
took that to heart.
988
00:52:24,070 --> 00:52:25,810
Right before I went on,
989
00:52:25,940 --> 00:52:28,340
I was so overcome.
990
00:52:28,470 --> 00:52:30,240
It was like,
I... you know,
991
00:52:30,380 --> 00:52:33,750
all of a sudden, I start--
you know, tears came.
992
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:37,880
I... you know, I'm not a very
tearful person very often.
993
00:52:38,020 --> 00:52:39,520
And it was like
994
00:52:39,650 --> 00:52:44,490
the release of years
and years and years.
995
00:52:44,620 --> 00:52:46,360
Oh, y'all.
996
00:52:46,490 --> 00:52:49,730
-Now leave me alone.
-[laughter]
997
00:52:50,030 --> 00:52:52,230
***
998
00:53:05,750 --> 00:53:07,750
***
999
00:53:49,220 --> 00:53:51,120
LEIGH:
I felt seen.
1000
00:53:51,260 --> 00:53:53,360
And being in prison,
1001
00:53:53,490 --> 00:53:56,660
you feel like
you're forgotten about a lot.
1002
00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,500
You know,
you kind of feel like
1003
00:53:59,630 --> 00:54:01,670
what you want
or what you think
1004
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:03,700
or that your feelings don't
really matter.
1005
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:07,440
So, it was just
really... moving.
1006
00:54:08,340 --> 00:54:10,440
You know, a lot of people
say they care,
1007
00:54:10,580 --> 00:54:13,750
but we don't see that,
you know?
1008
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:16,580
So, it's kind of
rough sometimes.
1009
00:54:16,720 --> 00:54:18,820
So we were just,
like, really grateful.
1010
00:54:19,990 --> 00:54:21,290
That she gave a shit.
1011
00:54:21,420 --> 00:54:24,620
You know?
It means a lot, really.
1012
00:54:28,190 --> 00:54:30,600
JESSICA: Like, I feel like
I got a new addiction from it
1013
00:54:30,730 --> 00:54:32,830
because I just--
I wanted to cry,
1014
00:54:32,970 --> 00:54:35,130
I wanted to laugh.
I couldn't stop smiling
1015
00:54:35,270 --> 00:54:36,640
the whole entire time.
1016
00:54:36,770 --> 00:54:38,700
And today,
I just-- I feel happy.
1017
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:41,670
I don't even think about using
or want to do anything else.
1018
00:54:41,810 --> 00:54:44,380
It felt like
the whole world to me
1019
00:54:44,510 --> 00:54:47,080
because I don't have
that positivity
1020
00:54:47,210 --> 00:54:48,710
in my life, really.
1021
00:54:48,850 --> 00:54:52,250
So, I think
it helped me a lot in here.
1022
00:54:54,720 --> 00:54:56,090
INTERVIEWER:
Where are you at right now?
1023
00:54:56,220 --> 00:54:57,560
What's on
your horizon right now?
1024
00:54:57,690 --> 00:55:00,060
I want to shoot
for work release.
1025
00:55:00,190 --> 00:55:01,390
I want to do...
1026
00:55:01,530 --> 00:55:03,660
I'm supposed to...
[chuckle]
1027
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:05,670
I want to say it,
but I don't want to cry.
1028
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:07,230
But...
1029
00:55:19,380 --> 00:55:20,880
[sigh]
1030
00:55:25,420 --> 00:55:28,920
My victim's family is...
1031
00:55:29,990 --> 00:55:31,760
trying to reach out
and set up a visit,
1032
00:55:31,890 --> 00:55:33,790
so I'm excited.
I think that's gonna be,
1033
00:55:33,930 --> 00:55:35,860
like the beginning of...
1034
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,160
something crazy, amazing.
1035
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,540
And I hope that we go out,
and we, like...
1036
00:55:43,870 --> 00:55:47,270
help be a part of the change
in the world, so...
1037
00:55:47,410 --> 00:55:48,870
yeah.
1038
00:55:49,010 --> 00:55:51,410
I just hope
that I'm prepared.
1039
00:55:52,240 --> 00:55:54,310
And I hope that it goes
1040
00:55:54,450 --> 00:55:56,450
the way it's supposed to.
1041
00:55:57,220 --> 00:55:58,580
So, yeah.
1042
00:56:02,990 --> 00:56:06,230
I do know
that this is my last trip.
1043
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:07,630
I'm not doing this no more.
1044
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:09,800
Like, it just feels
more inspiring.
1045
00:56:09,930 --> 00:56:11,830
Like, gives me
more hope to...
1046
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:13,670
that there is something
better out there.
1047
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:15,700
And that, you know, like,
we always think that
1048
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:17,570
we're felons,
and we can't
1049
00:56:17,700 --> 00:56:22,010
get back to real life,
and we can.
1050
00:56:24,140 --> 00:56:26,510
KRISTI: The favorite concert
of mine was always Ozzy.
1051
00:56:26,650 --> 00:56:30,050
And she beat him out.
Absolutely beat him out.
1052
00:56:30,180 --> 00:56:31,880
I don't know how to explain it.
1053
00:56:32,020 --> 00:56:34,520
It... was sobering.
1054
00:56:34,650 --> 00:56:36,760
She's the same as we are.
1055
00:56:36,890 --> 00:56:38,960
And this is
the first time
1056
00:56:39,090 --> 00:56:41,730
that I felt free
since I've been here.
1057
00:56:41,860 --> 00:56:44,630
And I felt absolutely
and utterly free.
1058
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,830
Like I was not where I was.
1059
00:56:47,630 --> 00:56:49,400
I love that.
1060
00:56:49,540 --> 00:56:52,970
I think that
this is the one thing
1061
00:56:53,110 --> 00:56:56,780
in my life that is
gonna be great and huge.
1062
00:56:58,110 --> 00:56:59,910
And I'm okay with that.
1063
00:57:01,150 --> 00:57:02,780
I'm okay with that.
1064
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,640
[soft music playing]
1065
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:44,590
***
75037
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