Original subtitles

(ominous music)

(TV static)

(footsteps)

- Lexi?

Babe?

Lexi?

Lexi?

- Surprise! - Oh! Jesus!

- (laughs) ♪Happy birthday, to you. Happy birthday, to you♪

♪Happy Birthday, to you. Happy birthday to you.♪

Make a wish Freddy!

Make it a good one.

(blowing noise)

(laughs)

(ominous scratching)

- Who the fuck is that? - Hm?

It's a birthday present babe!

- But, I wanted an Alexa?

- What a bitch.

Remember how you said back in high school

you got bullied all the time

and one day you get your revenge on them?

- Honey, remember the talk we had about sarcasm?

I guess wanting revenge is kind of like sarcasm.

- Huh. It's never enough for you. Is it Freddy?

You know I spent three months tracking this guy down.

I even followed him at work

and I even hacked his Netflix account

so I could find out what movies he really likes.

And it's just, I wanted to do something big

and special for your birthday,

and you couldn't even say thank you.

Just like my ex was.

- What? I never hit you like Fernando did.

- We're not talking about Fernando right now.

What the fuck!

Everything I do! Everything! Is all for you!

And you don't even fucking care!

Do you know how much time I spent for you and (indistinct)

(crying)

- Calm down man, I am trying to untie you.

- [Lexi] Oh my god! (crying)

- Freddy fucking Kim?

- Brock?

- Kimchi what the fuck is going on here man?

Wait, wait is that your fucking girlfriend?

- Fiance.

(glass breaking)

- How are you dating a girl like this?

- She took pity on me after she that video

you guys spraying soy sauce on my butt.

- Dude, she's, she's kind of hot and like an Oriental way.

(chains rattling)

- Shit. Its locked. - What?

- Where's the key? - I don't fucking know!

- [Lexi] Honey? (thunder rumble)

So you want cake now or after?

- After. Definitely after.

- What the hell? You, you're choosing him over me?

You know you're never going to find

anyone else as good as me?

- Crazy and hot, oh that's my favorite combination.

(choking sound)

- [Lexi] I spent so much time and care

finding him for you and everything is, perfect.

He didn't even know I was stalking him.

- Actually I totally did, kinda gave me a boner.

(Brock groans) - Shut up Brock.

- Kill him now.

- [Lexi] My precious (indistinct).

- Wait!

Who are we gonna fuck? We aren't gonna fuck?

Well why don't we not fucking kill me?!

- I don't think any of this is a good idea.

- How can you be so sweet and sour to me, Freddy?

- What the fuck is going on right now?

Is this some kind of kinky fucking-

look, I, I don't want to die like this!

- [Lexi] Freddy. Just take this knife

and start with his limbs.

- No, no, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't do it!

Don't do it Kimchi Kim!

(choking sound) Fuck!

Okay! Okay. I fucked up. I fucked up man,

look I should have never fucking told people

you look like fucking. (choking noise)

- If you don't, take this little shit stain

and send him back to hell?

Prove your love to me?

I'm going to have to break up with you.

- What? Babe, I love you.

Don't break up with me because I won't murder someone.

- No, look, look, Freddy.

Freddy, we could still fuck, man.

Okay? Hey, that's still on the table here.

- [Brock] Look, I know I fucked up dude.

I should have never poured that fucking bucket

of kimchi on you at prom. It was just a fucking joke man.

(groaning and choking noise)

Take my watch, take my watch! Take it!

Fucking thing is worth at least 50 bucks!

Take my fucking- (choking sounds)

Fucking (indistinct) let me go!

(gasping)

- Oh. (retching)

- [Lexi] Babe?

Are you okay?

How do you feel?

- I feel, (laughs)

fucking awesome! (laughs)

- Yay! Happy birthday babe!

So, do you want a small slice or big slice? Hm?

(laughs)

(wind chimes)

- Hello there Fernando.

(muffled shouting)

(instrumental birthday song)

(upbeat techno music)

(mouse click)

(chimes)

- Hey girl, hey!

- Hi Katie. How are you?

- I'm good.

- Oh my god, you look awesome for being in quarantine.

- Oh. Stop it. (laughs)

Thank you I appreciate it.

I, you know, gotta make myself feel better sometimes.

- I feel that. Self-care, self-love.

- Right? (chime noise)

- Hey Rica.

- Hi guys.

- How are you?

- Good. It's so nice to see humans.

- I know right.

- I've missed faces.

- Your hair looks so good! Did you get it cut?

- Yeah, luscious. - Thank you!

No, I didn't cut it. It's just like going wild.

I need to cut it, but-

- No, it's beautiful.

- No, I love it. It looks really good.

- Hey ladies!

- Hi Lucy! - Hey Lucy!

- Long time no see. (laughs)

- Oh yeah. - Mhm.

- How long has it been?

- Ugh. Too long. I'm going crazy.

(laughs)

- Months. - Me too.

- Okay guys.

I just wanted to thank you guys for being here.

I know you saw the email I sent

but I just wanted to say it in person that I'm really sad

we're not gonna be able to shoot the movie this summer.

- I know it sucks.

I was really looking forward to it.

- Yeah. Me too.

- Yeah, this was going to be your first feature

you directed. Right Candice?

- Yeah. And I mean, hey, it's still will be.

- Hell yeah. We'll just be a couple months.

- Yeah. After we survive this, this quarantine

we'll get our schedules figured out

and we'll make it happen.

- Okay, cool. Cause I still want to do it.

- Oh good. (laughs)

- Yeah, I mean,

none of us are really going anywhere right now so.

- Yeah, we're available.

- Yeah, and your script is so good!

I was blown away,

that third act is like really fucking intense.

- Yeah. Oh my gosh.

So good. Seriously.

- Thank you guys. That's so nice.

- Yeah, no, you're a fantastic writer.

- Candice. Did you write those incantations

that my character says?

- No, actually I got them

from a book of spells that I found or Mike, my

my boyfriend, found it and I just used it.

- Oh wow. That's so cool.

- Yeah. Well, okay, like real book, you know?

I don't think you'd actually disappear.

If you said all that stuff. (laughs)

- I would hope not.

- Oh, Candace?

The guy who hired to play the serial killer.

Is this he still on board?

- Eddie? Yeah.

I mean, he got the email and I

I haven't really talked to him about it directly.

Why, why you ask?

- Well, I hate to say it,

but I kind of got a really weird text from him.

- Oh my God.

I did too.

- Wait really?

- No way. Are you serious?

- Yeah.

- I got something from him too actually.

It was a little weird.

- Okay, wait, wait, wait, what?

What? What do you mean?

- Here. I'll just read it to you.

- Okay.

(ominous music)

- Okay. So this was last night at like one in the morning.

- Of course.

- If Candace doesn't want me to play the serial killer

in her movie then maybe I should

start paying some people a visit

and start getting into character.

- Okay.

- What, wait what the fuck does that even mean?

- Wait, wait, wait, listen to this.

He like doesn't have my numbers.

So he emailed this to me.

He said, Hey Rehka, I guess the movie is not happening?

I really wanted it to be the serial killer.

Maybe I still can be?

What are you up to later tonight? LOL.

- Okay. - Whoa.

- Guys. Why the hell did you not tell me about this earlier?

Holy shit!

- I don't know.

I guess I just thought he was like really bored

or something. Trying to be funny?

- No, no, no, no.

That is not cool.

And I'm kicking him off of the project

like immediately.

Hey Lucy, did he send you something too?

- Yeah, but I just says says Candice sucks.

(laughs) - What a psycho! Holy shit!

- Yeah. Not okay.

I am emailing him right now.

Kicking his ass off.

- Right, good. Fucking loser.

- Yeah. Good call Candace.

(knocking noise)

- What was that?

- I think that was my front door?

- Oh my God, Katie.

(knocking intensifies)

- Uh.

- What the heck?

- Should I call nine one one?

- Katie are you serious?

- Yeah, what if its Eddie?

- No it can't be.

- Well, I don't know who else is going to be at this hour?

(knocking continues)

- Okay. I'm calling nine one one.

- Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

- Oh my God

- Guys, I don't know what to do right now.

- Katie? You have to get out of there.

- Yeah, like, oh my God.

(all shouting)

- Katie! Don't get up! - Katie!

(knocking on door)

- Oh my God. - Why is she getting up?

Oh my God.

- C'mon, someone answer!

- Hide or something!

- Is she about to answer the front door?

(Katie screams)

- No, no, no, no.

- Oh my God.

Katie! - Katie!

Oh my God!

- Oh my God, oh my God!

- Hi, yes, my friend- (all talking at once)

- Katie! - We need someone right away!

- Katie! - I don't even know what-

- Katie!

(Katie gasping)

- Oh my God. - Oh my God!

- No, no (indistinct) webcam!

(Katie gasping)

I, I don't know! - Oh my God, Katie.

- Lucy did you get ahold of-

(Katie crying) - Ohh!

- Oh my God! (Katie screams)

- Oh my God! Katie! - Katie!

(Katie crying)

- Oh my God it's Eddie.

Oh my God it's Eddie, oh my God, oh my.

- Well, well. Look at this nice little meeting we're having.

Why wasn't I invited?

- Eddie. What the fuck? How could you do this?

- I'm just trying to get into character Candice.

Maybe, if you didn't cancel the movie

this wouldn't have happened?

- What?

- Oh my God.

- Fuck you Eddie.

- You're going to pay for this.

- No, Rehka. I think you will.

I think you all will.

- What the fuck are you talking about?

- See. I have some friends that share my little hobby.

And since Candice was nice enough to provide all of your

addresses on the production sheet

- No, no, no, no.

- One of you will be getting a visitor.

Right now.

- Oh, my God. Rehka.

- Who are you?

- No Rehka! - Get out of there!

- Who are you? Get away from me!

- Get in the closet and hide Rehka!

- Rehka! - Rehka!

- Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Rehka!

- Oh my God, oh my God, Rehka!

- Ahh!

(Rehka screaming)

- Oh my God.

(banging)

- Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God

(crying)

- No Rehka! - I don't know what to do!

- Rehka, Rehka, Rekha.

(Rehka gasping) - Rehka!

- Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God

- Oh my God!

- Eddie. I'm gonna come over there

and fucking kill you myself.

- Oo! Sounds good.

Come on by!

- You piece of shit. You want to play?

Yeah. I'm coming right now.

- Candice, wait, wait, wait.

They're answering me. Hello?

Yes, I called earlier. My friend was being attacked.

What do you mean you're not sending anyone?

- What?

(ominous music)

- How would you know that Katie and Rehka are okay?

- Lucy. What is happening?

- Oh, because Candice's birthday is tomorrow

and we wanted to pull an elaborate prank to scare

the shit out of her.

(everyone laughs)

- Are you, are you fucking kidding me?

- Happy Birthday! - Oh my God.

- Oh my God.

- Oh that was awesome! (laughs)

- You guys what the hell? That is so fucked up.

- We got her.

- You can't be mad at us Candice,

we didn't think you'd fall for it.

(laughs)

- C'mon you've never seen any fake blood before?

- Did you record that?

- We recorded everything. Everything.

- Oh my God. I hate all of you.

- That was awesome! I can't believe it.

- Unbelievable.

- I can't believe we pulled it off. Holy shit.

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Eddie. What are you doing at Katie's house?

- Oh, we've been hanging out.

- We're fucking is what he's trying to say.

- Wow. Okay. Okay. News flash.

- Wow Katie language.

- Anyways, we're sorry, Candice.

But, we love you.

- Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love you too.

You just got to give me a minute

so I can let my heart stop beating so fast.

Jesus Christ.

(everyone talking)

- Oh my gosh.

- We, we got her good you guys.

- Candice, there's someone behind you.

- Yeah, sure Lucy

- No, I'm dead serious. Turn around.

- Oh my God. Who is this?

You guys went all out.

- No, Candice.

We didn't send anyone over there.

- No, no, no, Candice this isn't a part of the prank

- What the fuck? - I don't know who that is.

- Wait, what? - Candice?

(Candice screams)

- What the fuck? - Candice?

- What's going on? - Candice?

- Candice?

Oh my God.

- You guys?

- Who is that?

- What the fuck?

- Who is that?

- Wait, is that Candice's boyfriend?

- Michael?

- Hey guys.

- Oh my God. - What the fuck is happening?

- Yeah, What?

- And that's why you don't try to prank your director.

- Are you serious right now?

- Oh my God!

(laughs)

Candice!

- Wait a minute.

How'd you find out?

- Yes

- Eddie, gave me the heads up.

- Wow. Thanks Eddie.

- God damn it Eddie.

What the fuck?

- Karma is a bitch. I had to.

- Yeah. Nice try assholes.

- Yo, Mike you Killed it.

- Thanks man.

- That's my guy.

- Oh my God wow.

- Hey Lucy, you still practicing those spells

from the book I got you?

- Yeah. I actually had all the lines down.

I was really looking forward to saying them in the movie.

- Just say them right now! Let's hear it.

- Yeah.

- Really?

- Do it. Do it. Do it. - Sure.

- Okay! I'll try.

(foreign language)

- Wow. Not bad!

- Yeah that was like really good!

- Yeah, I think you got all of them right!

(laughs)

- Very witchy. - Awesome!

- Candice, I hope you have the best birthday ever!

- Happy birthday! - Woo!

- Thank you guys so much.

This was interesting.

I will keep everyone updated on a timetable for

production.

- Candice- - Maybe we can get this off.

- I don't feel so good.

- Lucy?

Lucy. What's wrong?

(Lucy gasping)

Are you okay?

- I shouldn't have said those words!

- Lucy?

- Lucy?

(Lucy gasping)

- Oh my God-

(Lucy screaming) - Lucy!

(everyone screaming)

(everyone crying)

(upbeat techno music)

(keyboard clicking)

(ominous music)