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Who's there?
Who's there?
Oh, you've come for my gold, have ye?
Step up and pay the price!
No!
♪
Come on. This way.
- Hey, Ms. Meehan. - Oh, hey, Colin.
- How you doing? - Good. Good.
- Hey, don't you need-- - Oh.
I was gonna say you need a permit for those things.
- Have a good day. Let's go. - Hey, stay in school.
Daniel!
- Hi, Martin. - Hi, Colin.
- What you got in the bag? - C4.
All the cash, or I'll blow the place to smithereens.
Go on back. Hailey's in the vault.
Thanks, Martin.
Colin! Ugh, Colin!
I'm gonna hurl if I even smell that stuff.
You love Chippy's Chowder.
Well, somebody does not.
- Okay. - Mmm. You can give me
the cookie, though.
So,
you got any interviews today?
- Yeah, kind of. - Kind of?
Not some Eastie Boys shit?
Don't be like that. They're my friends.
I don't want you getting involved in some scheme
with your old high school boys' club.
There are actual legal welding jobs out there.
Yeah, that barely pay a living wage.
Look,
I'm not exactly in a position to turn down work here.
You know, this could be a good chunk.
Could go to the fund. A new start, away from all this shit.
We grew up in this. We turned out okay.
Yeah, but we got lucky.
Not everyone else did.
Don't start with that.
There is no such thing as a town being cursed.
Okay, well, there's a reason people say Gullion Springs is.
We deserve better.
She deserves better.
Colin, look at what you got.
Her.
Me.
Okay, maybe not piles of money right now,
but you earned your certificate.
You did it the right way,
and I'm really proud of you for that.
I don't want you working with Liam. Please.
You're better than him and his lot.
He's just buying me a beer, okay?
I don't have to say "yes."
You cannot judge a man's moral character
for simply doing what he has to do to stay alive.
For protecting his own.
Amen to that, brother.
I-I still think it's a bad idea.
Deck!
Look, the fact is, we're not getting a fair shake here.
I mean, the whole damn county's either out of work,
or-or addicted to pills,
or-or-or, fuck, now people are going missing.
I mean, it feels to me like something is...
feeding off this place.
Something feeding off us, all right.
Been picking at this town for centuries,
like it's a carcass.
Till there's nothing left but bones.
Leprechauns.
- Not this shit again. - Oh, no.
These aren't just little cartoon fellas
prancing around on cereal boxes.
Uh-uh. They're real.
Ancient creatures.
Bloodsuckers.
Not a lot of people know that.
Used to be they only lived in Ireland.
Then came the famine.
Everybody up and left to America,
so they followed the food.
And they've been right here ever since.
Uh, nice try, pal.
Yeah, we've-we've all heard that old story.
The-the old leprechaun stories.
It's-it's old kindergarten sleepover shit.
But, uh...
I'll tell you a real scary story.
That's my boy Colin here.
He spends eight grand on a welding certificate
'cause the refinery promises him a real sweet job,
steady benefits, I mean the whole nine.
And how much for your kit?
All that top-of-the-line equipment?
Five and a half K.
And how long did you work at that refinery
before they closed?
90 days.
90... days.
I mean...
Now that scares the shit out of me.
'Cause the birdies and the bunnies are all going extinct.
Right? Well, I hope they're living the good life,
because now it's us who's going extinct.
I mean, we're gonna be...
We have to do what we have to do to stay alive.
Simple as that.
Leprechauns.
Fuck me.
All right, what's this idea?
I mean, I thought this was an Eastie Boys thing.
Why is Deck here?
No offense, buddy.
Believe it or not, Declan here is the whole reason
that we are gathered here together today.
It all started a couple weeks ago.
As we all know, Deck's sister Steph, she's very fine.
Hey.
Ew. No, no, she's not.
Deck, your sister's hot, all right?
And if you don't think so, then maybe you're gay or something.
- Okay. Okay, man. - It's fine.
It's okay to be gay,
but it's not okay to keep interrupting me.
Okay? Anyways...
Can you leave him alone, please?
Declan.
Do you understand what I do?
Remote security monitoring?
Human lives are literally in my hands.
Someone's cleaning this up, and it's not me.
Yes, General. As you were.
Back to the nuclear codes.
And that's when I saw it.
This dude
literally is... monitoring surveillance cameras.
Like, all of the controls at his fingertips.
Uh, this... this fucking guy.
And the plan appeared in my head,
fully formed.
You want to rob a bank?
You're insane.
Or you're joking.
No. You're insane. You--
There's no way in 100,000 galaxies
or universes that you could convince me to do this. No way.
But then, I said the two magic words.
You're right. I don't know what I was thinking.
I mean, you're a lone wolf.
I get that, man, just as much as anybody.
I mean, you would never want to be a...
officially a member of the, uh...
...Eastie Boys or anything like that.
You'd...
you'd actually do that?
You'd let me be an Eastie Boy?
Platinum membership, baby.
Priority seating, first one to board,
before the cripples, the grannies and...
even the vets, hmm?
And why do you need me?
Well, my friend,
because the target
is a place that you are
intimately familiar with.
Gullion Bank.
Gullion Bank?
Like, Hailey's Gullion Bank?
The mom-and-pop shop, local bank that my fiancée works at?
Thanks for the beer, man. Deck, I hope there's a moment
in the state pen where you can really sit and bask in it,
and you're not some fucking schmuck
sucking off a skinhead for a pudding cup.
- You're an Eastie Boy, man. - Oh, Colin, Colin.
- Come on, man. - No! I'm trying to start a new life here.
I didn't even want to come today, but I thought maybe,
just maybe you guys had something real.
Rob a fucking bank?
You sound worse than the leprechaun guy.
And you-you can't even spend stolen cash.
That shit's tracked digitally.
That's why it's not the cash that we're after.
It's the gold.
Cash could be useless tomorrow, but gold is forever.
And listen, I got a little inside thing.
I know this guy who works at this little shop
in the city, right? And he said
that Gullion Bank, it's kind of like a...
like a middleman for this organization
that buys and melts down gold, all right?
And-and so, like, pawnshops, antique dealers,
wherever, whatever they can't sell, they just...
...over to Gullion Bank.
And then, the bank does a big shipment
every year or so, but because of the pandemic,
they've got over three years worth of gold
just... piled up down there.
Who'd you get this tip from? Rumpelstiltskin?
Fuck.
Yeah, you can laugh at me all you want, Colin.
But estimate is, there's over $5 million
worth of gold down there.
Watches, coins,
jewelry, you name it.
How's that for, uh, starting-a-new-life money?
Huh?
If we were to do something like this--
hypothetically...
...I'd have to be the one calling the shots.
That's the only way I'd do it.
What, you think you're smarter than us or something?
What's the capital of California?
- Hollywood. - Sacramento.
- That's my boys. - Eastie Boys!
Eastie Boys!
Able to chase the puck down...
Okay, boys, here's the plan.
We do it Thursday.
Hailey's visiting her grandmother,
so she won't wonder why I'm gone.
Yo, when Hailey's grandma kicks the bucket, y'all gonna be,
like, rolling in it?
She used to be, like, old money, right?
No, dude. They're broke. Everybody's broke.
Old money just means you have more to lose.
Now, how we doing on supplies?
I got everything on the list.
Here you go, big dawg.
Deck, what's up with your van, buddy?
Big Betty's ready to go.
All right.
Anything else?
- Hmm. - Breakaway.
He scores!
Bruins up by one.
Let's take another look at that.
Yo, buddy, is this thing yours?
- Yeah, it is. - Yeah? It's nice.
Yes, buddy.
Yo, what the fuck
- are you doing? - Bro.
- Dude, whatever. - You sure?
Why not?
- Let's go, Bruins. - Damn. That shit's dirty.
We need that thing, man.
Just fucking ask.
Okay. Let's run it from the top.
Cat's in position, boys. We're a go. Meow.
Hey, I'm getting some major glitching on my end.
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do a system reboot.
Luckily, nothing at Gullion Bank
has been updated in 20 years,
so a full-system reboot gives Finn here exactly
four and a half minutes to do his thing.
Hi, Finn.
You look nice.
So, what can I do for you?
Um, I'd like to make a withdrawal.
Okay, so, your account balance is 17 dollars and 11 cents.
How much do you want to take out?
Three dollars and 11 cents.
Milady.
Okay.
One, two and three.
Hold for pennies.
There you are, Finn.
Uh... where be your lavatory?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I got to ask. I'm sorry.
Why are you talking like that? Why the fuck
- are you dressed like that? - It's a bank. It's fancy.
I'm trying to fricking blend in, man.
I don't know.
I happen to know
there's no cameras in the bathrooms,
so we officially have an invisible man in the building.
Now, Finn waits till the bank closes.
Once everything's quiet,
Deck will switch out the live feed
with a prerecord from the previous night.
And now we're invisible.
At this point, the alarm will be triggered.
We know that.
Cue the newest member of the Eastie Boys,
Mr. Declan O'Shaunessy.
Copy, I see the alarm.
Nothing's showing up on the monitors.
You can shut it off.
I'll dispatch security.
At this time,
Martin will be at home doing--
I don't know-- whatever Martin does at home.
♪ Say, have you seen the Carioca? ♪
♪ It's not a foxtrot or a polka ♪
♪ It has a little bit of new rhythm ♪
♪ A blue rhythm that sighs ♪
Hello?
♪ It has a meter that is tricky ♪
Mm-hmm.
♪ A bit of wicky wacky-wicky ♪
Okay.
♪ But when you dance it with a new love ♪
♪ There'll be true love in her eyes ♪
Really?
♪ You'll dream of the new Carioca ♪
♪ Its theme is a kiss and a sigh ♪
♪ You'll dream of the new Carioca ♪
♪ When music and lights are gone and we're saying goodbye ♪
♪ You'll dream of the new Carioca ♪
♪ Its theme... ♪
Martin checks the building.
We stay out of sight.
♪ You'll dream of the new carioca... ♪
Then Deck lets the cats out of the bag.
Just a couple of cats fighting on the roof...
again.
♪ When music and lights are gone ♪
♪ And we're saying goodbye... ♪
Once Martin's on the road,
we're free and clear.
♪ Carioca! ♪
I know the codes
- to get us through the back. - Wait.
Hailey tells you the codes to the vault?
No, the only way Colin can get off
is if she whispers secret bank codes in his ears.
For real? That's a thing?
No, dude. I know where she writes 'em down.
Okay, moving on.
I finally get to put my acetylene torch to use.
We load up.
We load out.
And nobody says boo to a goose.
Any questions?
Still don't know why he's fucking dressed like that.
Martin, you don't have any use for a fruit basket, do you?
Esther gave it to me, but my hormones--
the smell is making me nauseous.
I can... think of something to do with it.
Good night, Martin.
Good night, Hailey.
Okay, I'm leaving.
Tell Grams I say hey.
You want to come with? You know she loves seeing you.
Next time, okay? I-I got to finish this résumé.
Okay, I'll proof it for you when I'm back.
Thank you. All right.
- I love you. - I love you.
Mwah.
- Bye. - Be safe.
Okay.
Oh, hi, Hailey.
Hey. How's she doing?
She's good. Holding up.
She's watching her shows.
Perfect.
Ooh, you got any more of those bars?
Oh, yeah, above the stove.
Oh, no, not another mystery novel.
- Honey, haven't you given up on those already? - Mmm...
I think I'm getting pretty good
- at figuring them out. - Yeah, your solution is
to turn to the last page and see who the murderer is.
This book has the solution inside a sealed envelope.
No, the real murderer is--
No, no, no, wait, don't tell me.
I can do this without your help.
Hello?
Hailey Doherty?
- Yeah? - My name's Patrick.
I'm with AVS Security Services.
You're listed as the point of contact
for Gullion Bank located in Gullion Springs.
I'm a manager there.
Is everything okay?
Everything's fine.
Uh, the system was triggered this evening.
We dispatched an officer,
and he confirmed it was a false alarm.
I'm obligated to inform you either way.
Oh. Okay. Well, thanks for calling.
You're welcome.
You have a good night.
You, too.
Oh, Grams.
My medicine.
I know. It isn't ready yet.
I can't pick it up till it's ready.
I know, I know.
I'm so sorry, Grams, I'm so sorry.
Just give me one more crack at it.
Put the solution back in the envelope
and hide it for me again.
Switch the feed. Answer the call.
Wait for Martin.
Radio the guys.
Martin is clear. Repeat. Martin is clear.
Roger. A-team is headed for the vault.
Yo. I got to go to the bathroom.
Come on, man.
You were in there like four hours.
- Why didn't you go then? - A-team holding.
Copy.
Switch the feed. Answer the call.
Wait for Martin. Radio the guys.
Switch the feed. Answer the call.
Switch the feed.
Uh, hey, Colin.
You know how I switched the security camera feed
with a recording from the other night?
Don't tell me you fucked it up, Deck.
No, no, it's fine.
But remind me...
w-why was that part of the plan?
So no one recognizes us, bud.
Why not just wear masks or something?
'Cause it's more elegant.
You know, they do it in all the heist movies.
Right, but see, in the movies,
they switch out the feed to fool the guard
who's watching the cameras in real time,
but that's me.
I'm the guard who watches the cameras,
so I switched it out to fool myself.
I don't get it, man.
And later, when the cops check the footage
and nobody's there
and the video has a time stamp from the night before,
the first person they're gonna round up
is the guy who was at the controls all night.
I'll be suspect number one.
Fucking say something.
- Hey. - Hey.
You've thought about this, right?
You have a plan?
Don't freak out. It'll be fine.
How the fuck is it gonna be fine?
Uh, you'll-you'll skip town.
How the fuck am I supposed to be an Eastie Boy
if I'm living on the lam the rest of my fucking life?
Uh...
Being an Eastie Boy
is something that's in your heart.
Oh, fuck this!
Fuck!
Oh. God, Finn,
you fucking animal.
They could smell that shit in Connecticut, man.
I have intestinal fungus, you prick.
It's a medical condition.
Yeah, okay, that's gross.
You know they got dogs that can track that
- back to your house. - They do not.
They do.
It's like I got a fucking lobotomy, bro.
Yo, yo, yo. Mayday. Mayday.
There's somebody in there. Somebody is following you.
What the fuck are you saying?
Th-Th-There's somebody in there right behind you.
Oh, fuck.
What? What, this... this fucking
statue, Deck?
Is this what you're talking about?
Can you see him now, Declan?
Does he like it?
The fuck?
I swear I fucking saw something.
- Cut it out, dude. - I'm not crazy.
Okay, let's go.
What the fuck?
Come on, man. Liam.
Fucking paranoid, man.
Oh, fuck.
Jesus Christ.
Man with the plan.
Baby. Baby.
Man with the plan.
- Need batteries? - Not on me, buddy.
Oh...
Yo...
- Whoa. - What?
Boys.
What the fuck?
No.
It's like...
Declan, was this you?
Holy shit. People are so fucking stupid, man.
I'm telling you. It's like they want to get robbed.
Yo, you know what I heard?
That a person is smart, but people are stupid.
- Finn, shut the fuck up. - Okay.
Oh, we have stairs.
That's interesting.
Whoo!
Hey.
Sayonara, motherfucker.
There's somebody in there, and I should do something.
I should help them out because they're my buddies
and they're friends and I'm...
We're all a group together. We're the Eastie Boys,
so I should, I should probably go and help them out
and be courageous.
I got this.
Don't let the fear--
With Cash4Gold you can turn your broken,
unwanted, or mismatched jewelry into fat stacks of greenbacks.
You're selling. We're Cash4Gold and buying.
Because we own our refinery, say goodbye to the middleman.
Hailey, dear.
I need my medicine.
Grams, I told you, I can't pick it up. It's not ready.
They'll call me.
But check, dear. Will you?
Just go check.
Okay, Grams.
- Everything okay? - Yeah, yeah.
She keeps asking for her medicine.
I told her it's not ready, but she wants me to check.
- Okay. - I'll be back.
- Man, it's dark as shit. - Yeah, I know.
Okay, let's keep it moving.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I think I heard something.
- What? - Lights out, lights out.
What's up, Finn?
- What the fuck, bro? - Fuck you, man.
You're such a douchebag.
- I'm carrying, like, 40 pounds of equipment. - Fucking dickhead.
- Because it's yours. - All right, well, I'm retired.
Finn, here you go, buddy.
Oh, thank you.
Gee whiz.
- Yeah, okay, we definitely need this. - Shit.
Straight up fucking Lord of the Rings down here.
How did I get boned with this thing again?
Oh, shit.
Bingo.
Yo, that helps a lot.
That'll work.
Oh, shit.
I didn't think it was fucking real.
No.
Yo.
Look at all this fucking shit.
Holy...
Oh, my fucking God.
Holy shit.
Yo. No way.
- Bro. Let's go. - I fucking love you so much.
- Oh, shit. - Booty.
I love you guys.
- Fuck yeah, man. - We fucking did it, bro.
We fucking did it, man.
Yo. Hey.
Sorry. That was...
so fuckin' weird.
Yo. Let's get back to the program here, okay?
I need some more light.
Oh, yo, yo, yo. Uh, my extra light's upstairs
under the desk.
- Hurry, hurry! - Love you, dawg.
- I love you! - Come to Daddy.
Yo! Save some gold for me!
Oh.
The fuck is this shit?
Big Betty?
Declan?
Declan?
Spark it up.
Whoo!
That's what I'm talking about.
Whoo!
Oh. Holy shit.
Oh, yo.
Colin.
Colin!
- What the fuck, man? - Yo.
I think we're under that...
- old fucking well. The parking lot. - What?
Look at you, dude.
Look at me.
In the moonlight.
Oh, fuck.
It's go time, buddy.
Good timing.
Let's get the fuck out of here, man.
- You good, man? What's over there? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nothing, bro. Nothing.
Let's go.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Fuck.
Finn?
Is that you, buddy?
Finn?
Look, you didn't have to slam the door, man.
I-I'm sorry I made you carry the torch.
Yeah, now's not the time, man.
Holy shit.
Hailey.
Oh, my God. I've never been so happy to see you.
I-I thought that you were...
I-I don't-- I don't know what I thought.
I told you not to get mixed up in this.
No, hey, Hailey, don't be mad at him.
He had nothing to do with this. This was all me.
He just came to make sure I didn't do anything,
- you know, too stupid or anything, all right? - Babe,
you got to go, okay?
We have a dummy feed rolling on the cameras.
No one will know you're here.
Hey.
Hailey.
You got to go home, okay?
- We'll talk about this later. - Yeah. We'll figure it out later.
What the fuck?
What in the actual fuck?
Take him.
Take him?
Fuck. Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Finn.
Buddy, no.
Oh, shit.
Where are you?
You motherfucker.
Oh, fuck.
Come on.
Fucking go.
Hey. Look at me.
I got an idea, huh?
Uh...
Let's split the haul, huh? You and me.
Fifty-fifty.
You-you would get out of this shithole.
We'd go to, uh, Bora Bora?
There's a little smile on you.
Yeah.
Let's go, baby.
Let's start fresh.
You sweet little munchkin.
I don't understand.
We need it to survive.
Human blood.
We take from those with greed in their hearts.
But only from the greedy-- those who come for our gold.
These are the rules we must obey.
Wh...
Who's "we"?
Leprechauns.
No. No.
Our gold lures the covetous.
It is a revealer.
It is legendary.
But people stopped believing we were real.
That our gold was real.
So we had to resort to trickery.
With ancient magic, we pulled people's greed
- to the surface. - Look at that bloody payday!
But the world has changed too much.
The average person doesn't trade gold anymore.
The old magic doesn't work like it used to.
And we mourn and trap the pure of heart.
We're starving.
We need the blood.
Some half-breeds like me don't need much.
A sip every few years.
But the elders,
the pure ones, they need more.
Your greed feeds us.
Tethers us to you, as it has for thousands of years.
We're almost gone.
The earth is reclaiming us.
This isn't real.
We have to do what we have to do to stay alive.
That's not you. This is a dream.
Colin.
Tell me you didn't touch it.
If you didn't touch it, we can't hurt you.
I'm so sorry.
Hey.
Hey.
Tell her I loved her.
I will.
Grams.
It's ready.
How many?
Four.
Should last us through the summer,
maybe winter, but...
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