Original subtitles

[ English accent ] 'Ello there governor!

It's lovely to see you at the top of me patrol!

One lump or two there? [ Laughs ]

[ Normal voice ] You touched it! What is this?

Okay, so this guy comes up to me and he said,

"I would give my left nut" to be famous.

So guess what I did? I took his left nut.

You took his left nut. Yeah.

The Devil's bargain! It's irony.

No, Gary, that -- that's just a straight up trade.

No. Yeah.

An ironic twist would be if you made him famous

but only as a guy who got his left nut

stuck in a blender or something.

That's not a skill to just put your nut in a blender.

I made him a famous singer.

Uh -- A castrati? Okay, good.

See, that's -- that's ironic.

No. I made him a bass.

He's an Oak Ridge Boy now.

Did -- Did you at least get his soul?

No. No. Okay.

I took his left nut!

But technically, I -- I took his --

my left -- his right -- took his right nut.

So that's double ironic.

What -- What is that?

Behind you. Nothing.

Someone said they'd give their right arm

for something, didn't they?

To pass geometry.That's it! We're having a class.

[ Bird shrieks ]

♪♪

I'd give anything for a glass of water...

Here's some water...

Sea water!

[ Spits ]

♪ Let's go baby!

♪ Imma teach you how to do the flip! ♪

I wish I could lose 100 pounds.

Oh I think I can make that happen!

[ Chainsaw engine revs ]

♪ Come on baby, Imma teach you how to do the flip! ♪

You cut off my arms and legs!

I should have been more specific!

♪ Doo whoop, doo whoop

My partner Kip is so good,

I sure wish I could beat him.

I meant at golf!

♪ He didn't specify golfing

♪ So he killed his friend Kip! ♪

♪ Ooh!

♪ In the name of my sweet Satan, let's do the flip! ♪

♪♪

The flip!

Okay, any questions?

That Chubby Checker?

No, that is Beefy Backgammon,

our own IWT Communications rock-and-roll legend.

And -- And how are the flip and a twist different again?

Let's not get hung up on the terminology.

It's clearly an ironic flip what we're doing, okay?

Any more questions?

Yes?

You know, people sell us their souls, we got their souls,

like, why do we have to pull, like, clever mean shit?

We're not "pulling mean shit."

It's an ironic twist, sorry, flip.

It's not my job to change corporate policy on flips.

It is my charge to make sure that your flips are TWIST.

"Twist Wish Ironically, Screwing Turkeys."

So you're calling it a flip, but the acronym is TWIST,

and the word "twist" is inside the acronym.

Yeah, we were sued, okay. You happy?

You figured it out, congrats.

Clearly we couldn't do the real thing cause

Chubby Checker likes to sue the [bleep] out of people

and yet you gotta say "Oh wait a minute, wha--

duh duh duh bluh bluh bluh twist?

A buh buh buh flip?"

What a [bleep] asshole you are.

Look at you.

I just always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower before I die.

Aww, that's sweet.

See that?! Right below you!

The Eiffel Tower, bitch!

[ Laughs ]

[ Groans ]

Dynamite, Dizzay!

Yeah, she saw the tower, all right --

right before she died!

Gary! All right buddy, you ready to,

uh, flip me with your flipping skills?

-Lil bit. -Great!

All right, let's, uh, see if...

♪ Gary can do the flip!

[ Keyboard clacking ]

I want to be the hottest actress in Hollywood.

I want to be so hot.

Ah! Oh!

Let's keep it in your pants, Gary.

Focus on the flip.

-They're so heavy! -Gary!

Wha-- I want to be so hot.

I just want to be the hottest girl in this whole town.

Gary, I want you to look around your environment, okay?

See if there's any clues for how you can flip this...

I want to be so hot -- the hottest girl in this whole town.

So hot.

I just wanna be so hot.

I wanna be so hot.

I just wanna be the hottest girl in this whole town.

She wants to be "hot" right?

What else is hot, Gary?

I could give her bigger breasts.

God, I wanna be so hot. I wanna be so hot.

Okay, maybe -- but how do you flip that?

Woman: I wanna be the hottest girl in this whole town.

You flip the boobs with the butt.

And she's gotta sit on her boobs all the time.

Light her on fire!

Troy, I got it. Hot, Gary! Hot!

Hot... I think I got it!

Here we go! Aaaiigh!

[ Groans ]

But she doesn't wanna see the Eiffel Tower.

She wants to be hot, okay?

The answer we're looking for is light her on fire.

Okay, so, if Dizzay does it, it's genius,

but if I do it, it's a problem.

That's called reverse racism, and I am a victim of it!

-All right. -Witness this!

-Okay. -Witness this!

Gary, calm down.

Is that what you want?

Do you want to do Dizzay's?

Load the, uh, Eiffel Tower module please.

Don't touch her breasts!

I'm s-- I'm very sorry.

I just always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower --

[ Lighter clicking ]

Wuh-- that's awesome!Aaaigg!

Hold up.

You said for me to set her on fire --

I said no such thing.

We just went over this.

I said she wants to

"see the Eiffel Tower before she died."

I pushed the other one on the Eiffel Tower

and you said that that was bad!

You know what? All ri-- for--

just push her on the tower.

Is this a trick?

Push her on the tower and you get an "A."

Close your eyes! No!

Don't tell her to close her eyes,

she needs to see the t--

[ Glass shatters ]

Forget it Gary, come on down, you passed.

I passed?Great job, you all passed! Good job!

Uh, I promised you a surprise of course, and here it is!

Come on baby, you passed the flip!

♪ You passed, you passed!

♪ You passed! ♪ So here's your diploma

♪ Ain't that the pip?

Gary didn't pass. She hit the Louvre.

Jon: I'm the teacher here and I say

it's close enough for government work.

Close enough for what?

We're in the government now?

Let's say I was a 16 year old boy

and I said I would do anything to lose my virginity.

How would you -- How would you flip that?

Beat him to death with a...

golf club. In the dick!

Gary's not really much of a book-learning guy, he --

he needs to pick this up in the outside world.

And he will 'cause you're gonna teach him in the real world.

You've got 24 hours. Or no money.

P-- Please I -- I need that money.

I'm already out 500 bucks on this

Beefy Backgammon guy.

And I'm gonna need that money today.

I got a car payment due.

Fellas, this is what I call a twist.

Technically, we -- we -- we called it a flip.

Yeah, well this is a flip too.

What's something you want more than anything else in the world?

Can you topple the patriarchy?

How would you like to beat somebody at golf?

Hey honey, uh, it's Dad, I'm in town for business,

and I thought it would be great if we get some dinner!

Uh, I know Mom enjoys poisoning you against me,

but, uh, surely you're not sending

all my calls to voicemail until I stop calling, right?

What's the patriarchy?Get off me!

I'm sorry. Not you, honey.

Um, please pick up the goddamn phone

and call me back, okay?

Please. I know you see the calls.

Please. I love you.

Okay, bye.

She wanted me to end all microaggresions.

And that threw me because in hell,

we only have macro-aggressions.

You know, like that giant snake that screams

inside of your own mind?

Just going like "Aaahhhh!

You are nothing, Gary!

You are nothing!"

That's not a flip. And also, she left.

Shit.

[ Banging on door ]

Deirdre, open the goddamn door.

Come on. Please.

Why, so you can leer at my roommate?

She's has a boyfriend Dad, okay?

She's not into old men like you.

Come on honey, please don't sound like your mom.

I -- I just need literally just one day

and then I'll have the money.

My therapist told me to stop seeing you

and I'm cutting it off. Goodbye, Dad!

Deirdre! Open the goddamn door!Goodbye!

Ah, [bleep].

Damn it, Gary.I know how that is.

What?

I --

You what? You know how that is?

I just... How?

You [bleep] idiot.

[ Insects chirping ]

Man, I'd do anything to reconnect with my daughter

but it's not gonna happen.

Man, I ran around on her mom so much man,

but I couldn't help it.

There's nothing sexier than a consultant

that knows his shit and that was me.

I was banging administrative assistants left and right.

I wet more panties than Lenny Kravitz.

But the irony is that you left

your daughter's panties bone dry.

What'd you say?It's a figure of speech.

You sa- You don't talk about my daughter's panties, man.

It's a turn of phrase!

I'll [bleep] kill you, dick.

No, bro! Bro!

Because of you, I cannot pay for her college.

You understand that? 'Cause of you.

I can fix this.

I can pull a flip tonight.

Yeah, well I'm not waiting up for that.

Can I have those almonds?

I know that they're 17 dollars, but --

Stay out of the mini-fridge.

Wakey, wakey -- eggs and pancakey!

Aw, Gary, that's -- that's too many hotcakes, man.

I'll never finish all those.

Aw, you're going to need plenty of nourishment

in order to feed your daughter.

Wait, what?

[ Whimpering ]

Oh my God.

Oh my God!

Gary, you did it, man!

You heard me say I wanted to reconnect with my daughter,

and you sewed her to my backside,

my ass to her m--Mrrrrgggggppph.

This is not my daughter.

In my defense, I did not know what she looked like.

Dude, what is this foot? You sewed a foot to my stomach?

Is that part of your flip?Yeah.

But now you have to wait for the other shoe to drop.

Don't you?What d-- What does that even mean?

I never said anything like that.

And also, there's no shoe on the foot.

Just get the contract, we're done.

Am I done?You're done.

[Bleep].Just get the contract.

Good flip, Gary.Woo. Thank you.

Wow, what a great flip you did. wow.

Thank you. Honestly, I'm relieved.

I did not like doing any of this shit.

Satan: So, uh, let me get this straight.

You wanted to reconnect with your daughter's roommate?

And walk a mile in someone's else's shoes...

uh, on your stomach?

Yes, I mean, Gary got it.

He totally gets the concept now of the flip.

Uh, what can I say? He nailed me to a "T."

Yeah, doesn't seem legit, but I do happen to know

that "Centipede" is your favorite movie.

So, well done, Gary.

Oh! All right!

Great, so, uh, cut her off of me and I can get my money?

Uh, what did we say? 30 thousand bucks?

Yeah! [ Whistles ]

[ Snorts ]

Try to not spend it all in one place, Jon.

We had a contract for 30 thousand US dollars!

It's gotta be tough to run with somebody sewed to your asshole.

Use your other foot, the -- the -- the stomach foot.

Huh! Uh!

Wuh, no! No! Oh! Oh, God!

Buck up, Jon. Is that a flip?

No. Talk about bucking the system, Jon.

Is that flip? No.

Talk about, guh...

passing the buck, Jon. Is that a flip?

No. Buck wild?

No. Is that a flip?

No. Buck Naked?

No. Is that a flip?

No.

What about the buck stops here?

Actually, that last one was ironic.