Original subtitles

[ guitar strumming ]

>> that's just what cities are

For, ain't it?

Dancin' in the streets!

[ cheers and applause ]

>> you know what you could use

In this hair?

Mayonnaise.

Yeah, get some life back into

It.

I mean, you could save the

Earth, but you could still look

Pretty.

Maybe wear a push-up bra.

>> who are you?

>> I'm gary.

You don't remember me?

Crazy gary?

You worshipped me at the wiccan

Festival?

>> oh, gary!

>> yeah!

Right?

Yeah! Jesus christ.

[ distorted voice ] How many

Brownies did you eat?

>> I love leftover salmon.

Sure, yes.

The tunes are rockin'.

But the lead singer -- I mean,

Safe to say you're having a

Little bit of boy trouble?

I love vince herman.

>> ew!

>> we're just, like, destined to

Be together, man.

>> yes, and people keep trying

To tear you apart.

Yeah.

If only vince herman could maybe

Get to know you, you know?

The re you.

>> I've got to kill

Vince herman so no one else can

Have him.

>> that's my girl!

Yes!

Yes!

>> oh, the show's starting!

>> no, no, no, look.

Here, use this, use this!

[ grunts ]

>> whoa.

>> wha?!

All right, so you get out there,

All right?

>> yeah, I got to go watch.

>> just remember -- when salmon

Kicks into

"Steam powered aereoplane," you

Show vincent herman your love

Is real.

>> who?

>> he's the guy with the

Microphone.

Just go get 'em, girl!

I'm proud of you!

[ beeping ]

>> eddie, hey, it's been three

Days.

It's my turn, all right?

>> this is mine!

>> where's my wallet?

Where's my wallet?

Did I leave it in my other

Pants?

>> gary!

Hug it out, bitch! Come on!

>> "Entourage"!

>> * oh, yeah

>> yeah, that's my cellphone

Ring, yeah.

>> such a good show.

>> yeah.

>> uh, you get reviewed yet?

>> oh, that's later this week.

I don't want to jinx it, but,

Uh...

I think I'm gonna get some

Finger lightning.

>> that leftover tuna deal must

Have put you over the top, huh?

>> you talking about

Leftover salmon?

Yeah, they're like top two

Hippie jam bands named after a

Fish.

>> noooooooo!

Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?!

>> trying to have a

Conversation.

>> [ screams ]

>> right. Well, I'd love to see

What you cooked up, man.

When I did that metallica thing,

It was a logistical nightmare.

>> what metallica thing?

>> oh, man, pyro set the

Bleachers on fire.

The stage collapsed.

10,000 souls for the big man.

It was off the hizzy, for

Shizzy, my nizzy!

No offence to black people.

>> um, my guy is pointing a

Crossbow at the world leader of

Prog-fusion washboard as we

Speak, so...

>> crossbow?

Yeah, crossbow, yeah.

Silent killer.

>> it's not done yet?

>> oh, well, the chess pieces

Are all in place, my friend, and

This guys about to be

Bobby fischer up in this

Bi-I-- aaaaaah!

[ screeches ]

[ panting ]

I am gary of the 17th circle of

The hades annex, associate

Incubus in training.

Your wish is my pleasure.

Now, how the [bleep] Did you

Summon me?!

>> I found this wallet at the

Salmon show.

>> "Crawling hitchhiker"!

Yeah! Yeah!

[ humming ]

Salmon!

That's mine.

Hey, thanks for doing me a

Solid, bro.

That would be -- that would be

Awesome -- ha!

Grr! Yeah!

>> so, what does this summon

Word mean?

>> nothing, you know?

You can just toss it.

I mean, you could say it, but it

Doesn't, uh...

It doesn't matter, you know?

But I could just toss it for

You if you want.

>> no, nope.

>> no? No?

That's fine.

Ain't nothing but a thing, bro.

See you around.

[ urinating ]

>> you're clinching.

Got to rela--

>> dude, you do your job.

I'll do mine, all right?

>> I'm just trying to help you

Out.

>> hey! Hey!

Listen! Hurry up!

I need you to go to my desk.

I need you to log in as me,

Okay?

I need you to change my summon

Word to anything else than

"Summonword"!

>> your summon word is

"Summonword"?

>> shut up.

>> you're supposed to change

That every six weeks, gary!

Hurry up, already!

What, did you drink a gallon of

Milk?!

What's going on here?

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Damn it!

>> so, I think I know what

"Summonword" means.

>> how about this?

You give me that card back, or

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna eat your firstborn.

>> spin your head around.

>> mmm!

>> whoa!

>> fine. We happy?

You done here?

Because you're gonna get it!

>> justin, check this out!

Spin your head again.

Just keep doing it until I say

When.

[ laughs ]

What fun!

Everyone loves a show.

All right, we've all seen it.

Can we shut it down?

>> whoa.

Spin your butt, dude.

>> I cannot spin my butt.

>> well, what can you do?

>> you spin your butt.

Okay, guys, um...

Here's the deal.

Okay, the word you have is a

Very powerful thing, and I will

Get in some for real trouble at

My work.

Demon, I command thee -- get us

Beer, as your ruler, bitch.

>> yeah, I'll spin your head.

Spin your head clean off your

Shoulders.

See how would you like that.

Yeah?

Just go all, "Yeah, you want to

Get your --"

Ah-ha-ha.

Oh.

Oh. [ chuckles ]

Oh, I need a drink.

Aah!

>> what are you --

You're drinking beer?

Satan's been up and down the

Hall asking about you --

>> gary, where the [bleep] Are

You?!

I'll find you, you little

[bleep]

>> I lost my s-word, man.

I just got to change my s-word.

Just change my s-word.

>> I can't change your s-word

Without manager approval.

>> manager approval?

That is --

Satan is our manager!

>> okay. Relax.

Relax. Bro!

>> I'm trying to relax!

>> relax, okay?

Get the kid to smoke this weed.

It will erase his mind.

Then you steal back your

Summon word.

>> oh, hell, yeah.

There's some stinky-ass nugs in

This bong.

Get him to fork over his soul in

The bargain.

>> yeah.

Aah!

>> yo! Moose knuckle!

Where have you been?

>> yeah, bro.

And explain to me what's wrong

With this essay.

"The poems of maya ange...

Lou"?

>> you said you wanted it to be

12 pages.

>> not in 72-point font, bro!

I can't turn this in!

>> just chill out, nerds!

And check out what the g-man's

Brought to the party, bros.

Yeah!

It's a bong.

[ mock inhaling ]

>> yeah!

>> dude, yeah.

>> I love you, gary!

>> yeah, dude, I'm so wasted.

Aw, yeah, but I don't want to

Bogart this joint any longer.

So...

>> I wanted to give you back

Your wallet.

>> what?

>> yeah.

>> with the s-word, too!

>> yeah.

>> dude!

>> yeah.

I thought I'd forget it so I got

It tattooed right there.

>> [ chuckles ]

>> take the leg.

Take the leg.

Take the leg!

>> what is your clipboard for?

>> what?

Huh?

>> the clipboard!

Why?

>> oh, um, it's a...

Petition against the drilling...

Of pandas for...Oil.

>> oh, yeah.

We heard about that.

>> good, because the media's

Really trying to cover it up --

The drilling of bears.

So you should give that a sign.

>> oh, yeah, absolutely.

[ cellphone rings ]

>> yeah, keep signing it.

Yeah, both of you.

>> hey, wait a minute, dude.

>> save the pandas!

>> that's not paper.

It's skin.

>> oh, don't worry about it.

You have to use the, uh, skin --

The skin from the bears -- in

The paper.

But you just hang on there.

Hold that thought, all right?

Yeah, talk to me.

>> gary, I did it.

I changed your summon word.

>> yeah! Yeah!

Claude, you're the man! Yeah!

>> I made it simple.

It's your mother's maiden name

And the year you were born.

All right, so...Schmickler83.

Got it.

Let me just write that down.

>> shouldn't really need to

Write it down.

It's maiden name and year you

Were born.

>> here we go.

>> demon, I command thee to get

Me a ferrari enzo filled with

$2 million dollars in small

Bills.

>> I changed my summon word.

And you're condemned to hell,

'cause this wasn't about pandas

At all.

[ laughs ]

Boo-yah.

[ chuckles ]

Yeah.

>> foghorn leghorn and stewie

From "Family guy."

>> big gets.

>> you stupid [bleep]

>> listen, listen.

>> it's ripped.

There's a piece missing.

Where is it?

>> oh, no, sorry.

I got that.

There's a hole in my pants.

Aah!

Okay.

Okay, how did this happen?

Um...

>> hey, man!

Spin it to the beat.

>> oh, come on, man.

Who the hell are you?

Aah!

>> oh, no.

>> dominus santi!

>> ow! Ow!

>> christi crux est mea lux!

>> ow! Ow! Stop it!

How did you get my summon word?

>> leftover salmon message

Boards!

Dios donate --

>> aah!

>> gary.

Gary!

Did you lose your summon word

Again?

>> no. Absolutely not.

I would never do that.

>> it sure looks like it.

>> claude, you judas --

Aah!

>> ha ha!

>> hey! Stop summoning me!

All right, it's not funny --

Aah!

Aah!

Please let me stop.

Please let me stop!

Aah!

Please, do you have an aspirin?

[ groaning ]

Aah!

Please!

Please stop.

Please stop.

Why are you --

>> hey, gary.

>> oh, hey, b., what's going on?

>> turns out that there was one

Real name on your soul sheet.

>> sweet.

>> this is your mother's maiden

Name, right?

>> what?

Mom?

>> aaaaaah!

>> mama, no!

>> aaaaaah!

>> stop yelling!

>> aah!

>> stop yelling!

You're embarrassing me!

>> aah!

She's a talker.

>> * it's friday night

>> come on! Come on!

Come on! Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! Come on!

Come on!

>> * I pick a little bit of

Guitar *