Original subtitles

>> help! Help!

This sucks!

Ah! Oh-ho! Oh!

>> so, what I'm gonna need you

To do is...

Alphabetize all these bones.

All right?

So, you take a bone when it's

Away from its home -- 'cause you

See that bone over by my

Keyboard over there...

>> yeah.

>> that's not home.

That bone...

>> this is the home. Yep.

>> ...Feels lost.

It needs to go in its home,

Which is one of these different,

Distinct cartons.

One is an "N-t" carton.

One is a "U-z" carton.

I have an "A-m" one that's more

In the works right now.

If you could go ahead and grab a

Carton and just write "A-m" on

The carton...

>> right.

>> and then go through the "N-t"

And the "U-z" cartons.

>> look for the bones that

Should be in the "A-m."

>> I -- yeah.

>> every bone has its home.

You know what I'm saying?

>> you don't need a pneumonic

Device to remember to put the

Bones...

>> put the bone...In its home.

So, for example, like, why is

That bone in this box?

>> it's the tibia.

>> it's a thighbone.

>> either way, it starts with

"T."

>> I'm just trying to stress

This 'cause I know, like, it

Seems simple.

If you see a bone out that's

Not in one of the bone cartons,

Put it in the appropriate

Bone carton.

Okay?

Oh, good. Shane's here.

>> here they are.

[ lite jazz plays ]

>> hoo!

[ both laugh ]

>> that is fun.

>> ohh.

>> where are we?

>> [ groans ]

This is where my girlfriend

Works.

>> oh, so you're dating an earth

Girl, huh?

Nice!

>> yeah, gary. I "Date" her.

Right here every tuesday, I date

Her like a big bass drum.

I date her over and over again.

>> slam it down!

Slam it down!

[ chuckling ] I know what that's

Like.

Yeah.

"Dating" her.

So, who's the lucky lady?

>> yo tell me.

>> is that denise?

[ echoing ] Denise?

And then it turns out it wasn't

Him.

It wasn't dave matthews.

Yeah, it was just...

A mexican.

>> huh. Nice.

>> how's your panini?

>> it's, uh...It's gross.

I'm actually gonna dump it.

>> no, no. No, no.

Don't -- don't, uh, don't throw

It out.

You should...

You should open the bun.

>> um...Okay.

>> just check under the bun.

Look under the bun.

>> okay. Okay. There we go.

Okay.

>> maybe, see...

>> what?

>> just dig around in the crab

Meat, like, a little bit.

Just dig around in the crab

Meat.

Do you see it?

>> oh, no.

>> ohh...

>> denise...

>> gary, don't do it.

>> ...Will you make me the --

I'm sorry.

Will you make me the world's

Happiest man?

[ echoing ] Man?

[ sobbing ] I'm so happy that

You're happy that you found

Someone who makes you happy.

>> who? Crab meat?

Nah, she's just a piece of ass.

>> yeah, crab meat's just a

Piece of ass.

>> but you know what I love?

This house.

The sex is incredible!

I'm tellin' ya.

Oh!

>> well, maybe you should buy --

Seems to have, um, a really

Solid flow for entertaining.

>> yeah, well, I'm not paying

$265,000 for this dump.

That's why you're gonna haunt it

For me.

No one is allowed to live here.

No one -- you understand me? --

Can buy this place.

'cause I'm gonna keep banging

Your ex-girlfriend here on this

Polished granite.

>> she's here. Oh.

Um, how do I -- how do I look?

Do I look good?

>> you look invisible, dumb ass.

Listen to me.

I forbid you to ever, forever

Appear to her in any dimension.

You understand me?

>> what if I just explain to

Her, like, what your plan is?

What your --

>> no.

No, here's what you're gonna do.

You're gonna haunt this place

For me, okay?

I want to do the whole nine

Yards here.

I want a river of bile.

I want blood on the walls.

I need a ghost in this cabinet.

People going in and out of the

Television.

Cliché, but it works.

>> bam! Boom!

And just like that, he's inside

The tv.

So easy, a child could do it.

Just make sure you don't put

Him inside the tv you're

Watching right now.

[ chuckles ]

That would be stupid.

>> just a couple of kids.

[ smooches ]

>> [ moaning ]

[ laughing ]

>> [ laughing ]

>> [ sobbing ]

>> oh, satan!

Oh, yeah!

>> no!

>> no, no!

[ echoing laughter ]

[ tap on wall ]

>> gary?

>> unh! Aah!

Oh, jesus christ!

>> how's that, uh...

How's that condo thing going,

Man?

>> it's good.

It's going good. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm gonna go, uh, haunt it

At noon.

>> dude, it's 2:30.

>> what?

>> smooth, polished granite.

>> I love the updated kitchen.

>> boogady bang!

>> so, in my opinion, the dining

Room...

>> look! It's blood!

It's blood! It's blood!

It's drippy blood.

Why aren't you blood?

>> ...Track lighting, parquet

Floors.

>> oh, is -- is this standard,

Or is this an upgrade?

>> this?

No, this is the upgrade.

>> you got floating refrigerator

Magnets!

>> would you mind if we talk

Privately?

Just for a moment.

>> we just want to look at the

Upstairs one more time.

>> go for it.

I'm here if you have any

Questions.

>> no, no, no, no, no, no.

The upstairs is very bad for

Entertaining.

Four little girls were

Dismembered in that upstairs

Room!

Denise.

Hey.

Look, I know you can't see me,

But I've been thinking about us

A lot.

And I've been working out.

And I want us to be together --

You and me forever in hell.

>> we love it, and we're

Prepared to make an offer.

>> yes!

That's a great choice, you guys.

>> no!

>> you guys are making the right

Choice!

I love it!

>> no!

>> they put an offer on the

Condo?

>> but you can tell, just by

Looking at her, that we still

Have, like -- it's a heat.

It's the hot fire!

>> if that couple closes on that

Condo, satan is gonna lose his

Mind!

>> I just got to see her, like,

One more time, you know?

I know that she moved on.

I get that.

I'm happy for her.

And that's good.

But I just got to say goodbye to

Her.

It's for us. It's for closure.

>> "Gary will be unable to

Appear before or talk to denise

Ever again for all time and all

Dimensions."

>> come on!

All right?

Five minutes.

You are my intern, so you just

Need to find a loophole in

Whatever these so-called...

Papers are.

>> okay.

You cou demonically possess

Another person and talk to her

That way, but that's some

Serious level-5 [bleep]

>> there's levels?

>> yes.

>> how many levels?

>> okay, listen.

Here's some possession gel,

Okay?

But you didn't get it from me.

>> where did you get it from?

>> this was in your office.

Just...Watch the videos.

>> come on, man. Come on, man.

Just for an hour. All right?

I'll be in. I'll be out.

You'll barely even know I'm

There.

>> I want a 3-foot dong.

>> [ sighs ]

Fine. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, you'll destroy a

Woman, but, uh, I'll see what I

Can do.

Here -- possession gel.

Ehhhhhh!

[ chuckles ]

I just got to rub it in your

Scalp.

>> my manager took today off,

So, uh, I guess that makes me

The boss.

[ thud ]

[ scream in distance ]

>> ughh!

>> [ moans ]

>> just keep it chill.

>> yeah, this is chill.

I can't even walk up the steps.

Guaaaah!

>> lift your knees.

>> so, the plan is, you're gonna

Tell denise that you possessed

My body so you can take her to

Go play miniature golf?

>> I told you -- I don't know if

The course is gonna be open,

All right?

So just be cool!

Just knock normal.

Knock normal!

[ doorbell rings ]

Shh! Shh!

Okay. Okay.

Now, repeat after me.

>> ohh.

>> "Denise, this is gary,

Possessing the body of lucas,

And I think we need to give us

Another chance."

>> naah tach ach! Glaaah!

>> come on!

>> gaaaaaah!

>> you're blowing this for me!

>> gaaah!

>> wait, wait, baby.

Wait, wait, baby!

Baby, we need to talk!

Hey, why didn't we --

>> gaaaaah!

>> have we tried opening the

Door yet?

>> haaah!

>> so...

Claude tells me that, uh, you

Took possession gel so that you

Could go visit my girlfriend.

>> well, that...

That is a...Lie.

>> gary, I asked you to do one

Thing -- haunt my bone garden.

Now, what happened to the

Maggots, huh?

>> I just think that maggots are

Cliché.

Is that your voice? You know?

Do they --

>> let me show you how to make

Maggots.

Pull out your dick.

>> no, you want to see

Something?

You want to see what I can do?

Yeah, I'll make some maggots.

I'm-a make it rain some maggots

On a -- on a lady that I used to

Love.

>> maggot disgusting.

Maggot terrifying.

One, two, three...

[ ding ]

Maggot happen!

An army of terrifying...

>> maggot happen.

>> maggot happen.

>> maggot happen.

>> he's doing something weird

With his wrist.

Wait.

>> he's, like, flipping his arm

Or something.

>> yeah.

>> whoa!

Look! I got a bunch of maggots!

>> what?

>> how's yours coming?

>> gimme those maggots.

>> wh--

>> I want th-- I need these

Maggots!

>> hold on a minute.

Where's my dong?

>> oh, my god.

Here.

Gimme the maggots.

>> all right.

It's supposed to magically

Attach or something?

>> I don't know, man.

Why don't you read the

Instructions?

They're written in [bleep] On

The side.

All right? I got to go.

We'll talk about this later.

>> these are the instructions on

How to make the box!

[ dramatic music plays ]

>> no!

No, denise!

Denise!

[ sobbing ] No!

Denise!

>> the sex is good, but she

Talks afterwards.

I'm so bored. So bored.

So I [bleep] Burned the house

Down.

>> [ crying ] Ah ha ha ha...

Huh huh huh huh ho ho ho ho...

>> it's funny, right?

>> [ laughing ] Cool, yeah.

>> that's funny.

>> yeah, that's so funny.

>> you know, broads like that, I

Tell you, you just got to cut it

Clean, man.

>> yeah. Yeah.

[ sobbing quietly ]

>> I got to go.

Um...

Hey, gary...

Take a break.

>> I'm good, actually.

I don't need to take one.

>> gary, look at me. Look at me.

You need a break.

Come on.

>> right on. Yeah.

Let's do this.

>> yeah, yeah. Let's do it.

Come on.

[ sighs ]

Long day.

>> you know, I think I'm good.

I don't think I need to go for a

Break.

>> no, no, no. No, no.

Gary, gary, this is why we have

A break room -- for moments like

This.

>> I just feel that my passion

Is my work and that taking a

Break is like taking a break

From my passion.

>> too much work makes --

>> wait -- let me just say hello

To my friend jason over in

Rapes.

>> uh, gary.

Gary.

I know it's hard to miss.

>> oh! Break room!

I haven't seen you in a while.

Whoa-ho-ho! Whoa! Whoa.

Those are...Really whirring,

Huh?

>> let's go.

I got to get up to a meeting.

Move it along here.

>> all right.

Whoa!

Oh, man.

That almost got me that time.

Whaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaah!