Original subtitles

- Is this actually recording?

It says it is, but I got no picture.

- Yeah, let me see. - Thanks.

- Ah, here.

Lens cap.

There.

- That's on now?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, this would be a fantastic camera

for a homemade documentary, you know?

- Can I? - Yes, it's lightweight.

It's easy to use.

The resolution is fantastic.

It's 1080p.

Really, really good.

This is actually the last one, yeah?

I got one of these myself.

It's 240 gig of hard drive for a camera like this.

That is outstanding.

96 hours of record time.

It's top of the range for what it is.

It's really, really fantastic.

I'll just show you some of the features.

It's got in-camera editing, in-camera preview, and...

Night vision. - Whoa, man.

That is cool.

Check that out. - Yeah, that kinda green look.

- You know,

it's like the Paris Hilton sex tape, isn't it?

- Yeah.

- How do I get that back?

- Oh yeah, you just...

Here, just...

Oh, come on.

Bingo.

- Cool. - So what do you think?

- Man, I like it.

- If you want a camera that has got a better picture,

you're looking at 10 or 12 times the amount

for what you're gonna spend.

The resolution...

Hey.

You wanna just go back in?

It's just for insurance reasons, we can't bring the,

do you know what I mean? - Sure.

- Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey!

Come back!

Come back, you little cunt!

Give me the fucking camera!

Give it, give it back!

Fuck!

- Open the fucking door, it's the police!

Police! Open the fucking door!

Open the door, it's the police!

We got a warrant to search the premises!

- Darius, what the fuck is wrong with you?

- And here she is, folks,

in all her glory.

- I just flushed my weed!

- My mate Nicole, look at her.

- Fuck!

- Morning.

- Darius, what the fuck is wrong with you?

I seriously thought it was the police.

I just flushed my weed.

- Oh my God, what?

- I just flushed my fucking weed.

Are you fucking serious?

- Serious.

Fucking idiot.

- I thought you would have recognized

my voice, you fool.

- You'd think, wouldn't you?

- Why would the police come around

and bang on your door?

- I don't know, I just was asleep

and heard that and freaked out.

What are you doing here anyway?

- Come on, yesterday you said you wouldn't mind

going to the beach, so here I am.

- It's 9:00 a.m. in the morning and I've had like,

two hours of sleep.

What's with the camera anyway?

- Just picked it up this morning.

What do you think?

Making a documentary of my life,

which is going to involve us going to the beach.

- Are you high?

- Come on, let me make you a coffee.

You'll better after a caffeine hit or something.

- I don't want a coffee!

I want to go back to sleep.

I can't believe I flushed my fucking weed.

- Well, that's my fault, okay?

I'll make it up to you.

But come on, look at this day out here.

Up and at 'em.

Check that out.

That is beautiful.

We're gonna go to the beach, man.

Come on, rise and shine!

Up and at 'em!

- Darius.

- Nicole.

- What the fuck are you doing?

- Extreme closeup.

- Tell me that thing is not on.

Tell me you're not recording.

- Where are you going?

- Going to go put some clothes on

because I do not like you fucking filming me!

- Not that I'm the greatest fan

of you filming our exciting day at the beach,

but seems like it's not the best idea

to have a camera so close to all this sand.

- Do I look that stupid?

- You want an answer?

- No, I don't.

You're absolutely right.

Check it out.

Ta-da!

Look at that.

- What the fuck is that?

- Underwater housing.

Pop it in there.

Hey, presto.

Sand-proof and waterproof.

Check it out.

Say hello to Leopold the Camera.

- Who?

- Leopold, it's my camera's name.

- You named your camera?

- Why hello there, Nicole.

Would you like to come for a swim with Darius and I?

- Go fuck yourself, Leopold.

- Now, now, don't be like that.

Are you gonna come in or what?

- I'm gonna lie here and pass out.

- Well, suit yourself there, sulky pants.

We're gonna go for a swim.

- Where have you been?

I couldn't see you on the beach.

I looked everywhere.

I thought you were seriously injured or hurt or something.

Where have you been?

This is bullshit, Darius.

- Hey, wait.

- I seriously thought you were hurt or something.

- I'm fucking sorry, okay?

I fucked up.

- Yeah.

That's shit.

Drag me out of bed to go to the beach,

and then you abandon me.

If this is your idea of a fucking joke, I'm not laughing.

- Hey, wait, hold up a sec, okay?

I fucking said I'm sorry!

- Hey mate, you know what?

This is bullshit, Darius.

Friends don't do this shit to each other.

- Aw, fuck.

Come on! Fuck.

Aw, fucking idiot.

Fuck.

- Hello, Darius!

- How, how you doing, Bea?

- Good, how are you?

- I'm doing good, thanks.

- You got a new toy?

- Yeah, check it out.

Just picked it up this morning.

- What are you doing?

- Just making a little movie.

- What about?

- You know, it's like a day in the life of kind of thing.

- Cool.

Are you having the usual?

- Yeah, yeah.

Actually, you better make it a...

A double.

Had a hell of a morning. - Alright.

- Whoa, hang on a sec.

Money.

- Oh, don't worry about it.

- You sure? - Yeah.

- Aw, thank you.

- It's alright.

Um...

I'm actually really glad you came by.

- What?

- I was wondering if you could get me some more weed.

- Sure.

- And one more favor?

Um...

Do you know anywhere I could get some coke?

- Ooh...

- Could you hook me up?

- Sure.

The weed's not a problem.

I gotta pick some up for a friend anyway.

- Cool.

- But the coke's a little bit of a liability,

so, you know...

It's gonna cost you.

- I'm not expecting it to be free.

I'll pay you.

- No, no, no.

I'm not talking about cash or anything like that.

- You want a check?

- No, no, no.

I scratch your back...

- What do you want in return?

- You let me take you out to dinner.

- Darius.

- Come on!

One date.

Come on, I've asked you out a bunch of times before,

and you're always too busy.

- Because I am too busy.

I'm working here five days a week

and I have uni, I have assignments,

and it's just crazy at the moment.

- Aw, come on, come on.

Look, it'll be fun!

Yeah, and you gotta eat, right?

Say yes.

Yes, Darius.

- What if I say no?

- Well, no coke for you, then.

- It better be good coke.

That's all I'm saying.

- Oh!

See? Incentive.

No, of course it's gonna be good coke.

What time you finish tomorrow?

- Seven-ish.

- You want me to pick you up, then,

like, 7:30, eight-ish?

- You don't give up, do you?

- 7:30? Eight?

- Okay, eight o'clock at my place.

- Okay.

Eight o'clock, your place.

- Promise.

Don't forget your coffee.

- Oh.

- Bye.

- Yo, Marty!

I need your services, my man.

Translate that any way you want.

Anyway, I take it you're out cold somewhere, so...

Give me a call when you wake up, alright?

Alright.

Laters.

Oh, for fuck's sake!

Fuckin' hell, this guy.

- It's fuckin' you.

- Yeah, it's fuckin' me.

- The fuck you want?

- Have a guess.

- Can't hear the music, mate?

You want me to turn it up?

- You're a funny guy, ha ha.

- Turn the fucking camera off.

- Forget about the fucking camera.

Can you just turn your music down?

- Fuck off.

- Thank you!

Fuckin' arsehole.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Fucking shit.

Oi! Turn the fucking music down!

Fuck's sake.

Fucking shit!

For fuck's sake, man.

Could you just turn that fucking shit down?

- Or what?

- Just turn the fucking music down, man.

Why the fuck do you have to be such an arsehole for?

- Be careful who you call a fucking arsehole, mate!

- Fuck you, man, just turn--

- No, no, help me!

Marty?

Yeah, I need to get some...

Yeah.

Yeah.

You around tomorrow?

Hey mate, what happened?

- Is that thing recording?

- Yeah.

- Mate, you can't film.

You wanna turn that thing off.

- Why, is it illegal?

- Mate, don't play games with me.

Just turn the camera off.

Turn the camera off or you lose it, mate.

It's that simple.

- Alright, alright.

Hey, hey, wait--

- It's Darius!

Keep your fucking pants on.

I'm coming.

Darius.

- Hey, nice gown.

- Fuck you, mate.

- Wait, wait, watch the lens.

- What's with the camera, dude?

- Check it out, it's my new toy.

- It's very nice, Darius.

I like it very much.

What are you doing with it?

- Just making a little doco

of the things I do, people I see.

Which means you, brother.

- Well, yeah, I mean, cool.

Let's go out, let's party, let's make a movie or something,

but just not now, dude.

- Come on, don't be a pussy.

- I'm not being a pussy, I just don't like,

you know, put yourself in my shoes, dude.

- Trust me, alright?

This is my own personal use only.

No one's gonna see this.

Except maybe my grandkids.

- You? No.

There's no way you're gonna live long enough

to have grandkids, my friend.

- Right, so are you worried about then, huh?

- Fair point.

- Dude, what the fuck is that?

- That's Felix the rat.

He had a tangle with Felix the cat

and well, you know.

Now he's mummified.

I found him under the floor over there.

It's pretty gross, huh?

Say hello.

You wanna, you wanna--

- Keep that fucking thing away from me.

Oi, keep the fucking thing away.

Get the fuck away.

- Darius.

I finally found your phobia, huh?

Mummified rats.

- Come on man, I'm in a hurry.

Can you sort me out or what?

- Well, what do you want?

- Two 50s for now,

and I'm seriously hoping you've got some coke.

- What do you want with coke?

You didn't want coke from me before.

- No, no, no.

It's not for me, it's for a friend.

- Who's the mystery shopper?

- Dude, it's this girl.

You should see her.

No, no, no, I can't even begin to describe how hot she is,

and I finally managed to get her to go on a date with me.

- On the proviso you get her coke.

- Alright, I know what you're saying now.

She's not that type of girl, Marty.

No, no, no.

Shut up, she's a quality girl, alright?

She's not like a--

- Okay, a coke whore.

- Yeah, no, far from it.

- Of course, no.

She's a good girl.

And you just have to sprinkle her with nose candy

and she comes alive like a little fairy.

- Have you got the coke or what?

- Fuck, you know what?

I do not have the coke.

- Are you fucking serious?

- I'm sorry, you're shit outta luck.

I sold out over the weekend.

- Well, when are you getting more?

- Could be a month, two, I don't know.

Pablo Escobar is going through a time--

- Hey, would you stop fucking around?

I'm serious, man, it's important.

- Tonight, it's alright.

- Alright, well, can I swing by tomorrow

and pick it up or what?

- You can.

Actually, I'll be around your place...

Tomorrow, yeah.

If you want me to drop it off.

- That's even better.

Sounds good to me, sweet.

How much do I owe you for this?

- Just sort me out tomorrow, man.

- Cool, man.

- You want to smoke a joint?

Hang out, get high?

- No, no can do.

I got things to do, people to see, brother.

I'll copy you tomorrow, yeah?

- Good luck with your coke whore.

- Fuck you, Marty.

Hey.

- Hey.

- Still pissed?

- Would you be?

- Probably.

- Probably.

- Yeah, right, okay?

I'd still be pissed.

I got you these as a mea culpa.

- What are they?

- They're idiot flowers.

Yeah, I asked the florist for flowers

that best said sorry for being an idiot.

She gave me those.

- Come in.

- Oh hey, I also got you...

That's for my fuck-up yesterday.

- Still can't believe I flushed my weed.

- Wait a second, there's more.

Shall we?

- Does the pope fiddle kids?

- Humor, nice.

Does this mean you don't hate me anymore?

- I never hated you, Darius.

- Really? You were pretty pissed yesterday.

- Yeah, with good reason.

But I don't hate you.

I just don't get you sometimes.

Sometimes it's like you're a kid,

lost inside your own little world.

Who am I to judge?

It's not like I'm a class A model citizen.

- No, you're right.

I know I fuck up.

A lot.

- You need to be aware of other people, Darius.

You need to be aware of other people's feelings.

Yesterday at the beach,

that's not the first time that you've gone off like that.

Where do you go?

When you go off like that.

When you disappeared yesterday, where did you go?

Where did you go yesterday?

- Doesn't matter.

- It does matter.

Yesterday matters.

- No, I'm not saying what I did yesterday doesn't matter.

That was a shitty thing that I did.

And I'm sorry about that, okay?

I guess I'm just saying that overall, you know,

it doesn't matter.

In the broad sense of nothing.

- What kind of bullshit is that, nothing matters?

- No, look, if you think about it,

everything, okay, doesn't matter.

And everything includes yesterday,

so what I'm trying to say is that nothing matters.

- Everything does matter.

- No, it doesn't.

It never has and it never will, okay?

- Hello?

What the fuck?

Fuck!

Shit!

- The fuck you want?

The fuck is your problem, mate?

Is there something wrong with you?

Do you wanna get yourself fucking hurt again?

Is that what you fucking want, homo?

- You've got your camera.

- Yeah, I hope you don't mind.

I wanted to record the moment.

- Okay. - And I got a present for you.

- You didn't have to do that.

- Pick a hand.

- Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

Aw, thanks.

How much do I owe you?

- Don't worry about it.

Chalk it up against my coffees debt, it's fine.

- You sure?

- Yeah, it's fine.

Look, I get it dirt cheap from a friend anyway.

It's cool.

- Okay, I'll just put it inside.

Oh!

I'll only be a second.

- Oh.

- So where are we going?

Darius?

- Yeah?

- Darius?

Where are we going?

- It's a surprise.

- I hate surprises.

Come on, let's go.

- Okay, you ready?

- I'm ready.

- And open your eyes now.

- Wow, it's like a neon palace.

- I know it looks tacky,

but don't knock it 'til you've tried it, huh?

- Is this a joke?

- No, no, go in, it's great.

- So do we order at the counter

or the waiter come and take our order?

- Oh!

Yeah, no, I'll head up the counter, that's cool.

I was thinking we'd grab a pizza.

- Yeah, love pizza.

- Awesome, back in a tick.

Here we are.

Voila!

Whoa, hang, let me get this.

- Mmm!

It's fab pizza.

- Told ya.

- So you were saying?

- Basically what I'm talking about

is the grand design of people's lives.

You see, people have patterns.

I mean, they're always doing the same thing every day.

Take you, for example.

- Okay, take me, for example.

- I mean, what are the core things you do with your life?

Alright, hang on a sec.

Let me show you.

You take this.

Here we go. - Alright.

- Alright, okay.

So you work at the cafe.

- Oh!

A half-eaten piece of pizza.

Awesome.

- You studied at uni.

- Yep, my university of the tissue.

- And you spend time at home.

- Which is also a tissue.

- Then there's the transit

between these three core places.

And there you have it: the grand design of your life.

- Should we make a move?

- Yeah.

Sure you had enough?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Cool, I'm just gonna duck to the bathroom for a sec.

I'll be back. - Yeah, sure.

Hello, Darius.

Um...

I'm gonna make a point of not saying thank you for tonight,

because then you'll go home and you'll find this:

your belated thank you.

Thank you for a very interesting evening

at a very unique place

with unique conversation and a very unique individual.

So thank you.

So no doubt I'll see you at the cafe tomorrow.

- Yeah, I should have that coke

for you tomorrow, too.

- Aw, thanks.

I really appreciate you doing that for me.

And the weed and stuff.

It's very cool, thanks.

- It's no problem, it's fine.

- So I'll see you tomorrow.

- Yeah...

Okay.

Goodnight.

Goodnight. - Goodnight.

Hey, mate.

Just to The Cross.

Thanks, mate.

Hey, Lazza! - What's going on, mate?

- Nothing, man, how are you, brother?

- Same same.

Nice camera, bro.

- Yeah, check it out, man.

- Just make sure those security boys don't get this, man.

They'll take it off of ya and steal it

and not give it back.

It's a nice picture.

In fact, it's awesome.

Hey, hello.

What's up, girls? - Hey!

- How you doing?

- Good day! - Alright.

Cool.

What's going on, girls?

Say something for the camera.

- It's her birthday.

- It's your birthday, yeah? - It's my birthday.

- Alright, well, birthday require birthday drinks.

Will you hold that, mate?

Let's fix you up some shots.

- So what's with the camera?

- I just stopped by to show my mate this.

- So...

You didn't come to film my birthday?

- Oh.

Yeah, yeah, right.

Sorry.

I totally forgot.

I knew there was another reason why I came here tonight.

- I can't believe you forgot my birthday!

- Sorry, it's my bad.

What's your name?

- Michelle.

- Michelle, I'm Darius.

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

- This is Lucy.

- Hey, how are you?

- Hello.

- Nice. - Enjoy.

- Cheers.

Cheers.

- Alright, Darius, what do you say to a drink, mate?

- Yeah, mate.

I'll grab a Corona and...

Michelle, can I buy a birthday drink?

- Champagne.

- And two champagnes as well.

Thanks, mate.

Very, very subtle.

Nice.

- You didn't see anything.

- Oh yeah, no, no.

- Thank you.

- Cheers.

- So I'm studying at the moment.

- Oh yeah? What are you studying?

- Law.

- Jesus, law.

How are you finding that?

- I don't know, it's fascinating, you know.

There's so much to learn, but it's, I don't know,

a really cool place.

Yeah, but I'm really loving it.

Do you wanna launch?

- Yeah, yeah, sure, why not?

- Let's go.

Come on.

- Oi, Lazza, mate.

Can I get two tequila shots, man?

- Two tequila shots coming up.

- Well, I kind of think so.

I'm really seriously thinking about deferring next year.

- Where are you gonna go traveling?

- I don't know, just--

Are you okay?

I think until you're paying rent somewhere,

do you really get a sense for a place.

So I think visiting

as a tourist or whatever, - Michelle!

- you can sorta explore the place,

- Michelle! - you can check it out

or whatever, but I want to live there.

Sorry, just one sec.

- Everything okay?

- She's just having boyfriend issues.

He's just older, and it's...

She's gonna go meet him.

- Do you wanna go with her or what?

- To be honest, this happens every time we go out,

and I'm actually even over it.

It's my birthday, you know?

- Alright, birthday girl.

How about another shot, huh?

- Yeah. - Alright.

- Come on, boy.

Let's go.

Yeah, baby!

I'm gonna go get a cab.

I'm absolutely busting.

Where's your toilet?

- Just down there, first on the left.

- Hey.

Are you okay?

It happens.

Hey.

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it.

It's okay.

- Darius, come on!

Door's open, Darius.

I'm coming in.

How are you, dude?

Put your hands in the air and stop masturbating.

Darius?

What the fuck?

Fuck!

- Darius!

You were supposed to come.

You alright?

- Yeah.

- You don't look so good.

- Was just passing, just wanted to say hi.

- Did you see your guy yet?

- Sorry, which guy?

- You were gonna ask him for the coke.

- Um...

Yes.

Yeah, no. - It's alright.

- No, no, no.

I've got that.

- Oh.

Let me grab some money for you.

- Well, no.

It's at my place.

I haven't got it here.

I'll swing it by later on.

- Well, we're closed.

I can come with you if you want.

Give me five minutes.

- Um...

Sure.

You wanna come back to my place?

- Yeah, just real quick.

It's on the way.

- Could you just meet me there?

Is that cool?

- Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

I can meet you.

Alright.

See you soon.

- Hi. - Hey.

- You alright?

You sure? - Yeah.

- Have you got the coke?

That should cover it.

Is that enough?

Thanks, I really appreciate this.

You sure you're alright?

I'm actually meeting a friend, so I better go, Darius.

Thank you.

Oh! Hey!

Fuck off!

Get off me!

Stop it!

No!

Get off me!

- The fuck do you want?

- Police!

Fuck! Put the knife down, man.

Put the fucking knife down! - Put the knife down, man!

- Put it down! - Drop the weapon!

- Mate, you have a fucking choice.

- Put the knife down!

- Put it down, put the fucking knife down!

Fuck.

- Get her out of here, get her out.

- Fuck.

Come on, come on.

- You're okay. - It's okay.

It's okay.

Come on, it's all over now.

It's alright.

- Oh, fuck.

What the...

Mark!

- What the fuck? - Mark,

he's been taping the fucking thing.

- Oh, fuck.

You alright here, mate?

I'm gonna check the other room.

- Fucking hell. - Rob, get the fuck in here!