Original subtitles

All right, dude.

Hey, say what we're doing this weekend

and who's cabin this is.

So it's my buddy's cabin.

It's our, our Deer Camp tradition.

When I went to go get ammo,

I found this really cool multi-tool,

compass, whistle, and magnifying glass

so if we get lost, we can go.

He's not gonna make it one day.

Let's just try to have fun, all right?

Go on in, Ep.

- Buck! - Buck?

Buck. Get out here, man.

Time to go to Deer Camp.

- Oh my God. - Is it Debbie?

No.

Hey, Buck, wake up, man.

- Aw, fuck. The fuck? - Wake up, dude.

Hey! - Ah!

So who the fuck are you?

No. Who the are you, bro?

Oh, shit.

♪ I see you coming, the dead of the night ♪

♪ Everybody's watching, everybody's talking ♪

Woo!

Can you believe it, guys? She came outta nowhere.

Dude, we've never filled a tag before getting to camp.

Yeah, but it kind of scary though, right guys?

Not in this 3,500 pound beast, dude.

Hold on. I can't see shit.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey. Egbert's gonna barf.

Hey, hold that in now.

Don't you fucking puke.

Don't you do it, hey.

What's wrong with this guy?

Out the window, Ep. Out the window.

Hey, pull over man. Pull over.

Don't you puke, dude, don't you fucking dare.

I'm okay.

Hey, Ep, what are you doing with your throat there?

What is that?

It calms down my gag reflex.

Kind of looks like you're making room for a dick.

Out of the way, fuckers.

Daddy's got a piss like an elephant.

Oh fuck, hey, hey, hey, don't.

Whoa, whoa. Buck, you fuck.

Oh yeah.

I'm watering your tires for making me sit in the back,

Well, your fat don't fit in the cab.

Bullshit. I got shotgun on the rest of the way.

No, no, no. Egbert gets motion sickness.

Yeah, this pussy almost puked in my brand-new truck.

Brand new, J.B.?

This thing's got more miles than a Mexican street walker.

Uh, no offense, Karlos.

Holy shit.

Where you going?

The Buck stops here.

Come on, let's get to camp before dark, Buck.

Tough titties. My liver's itching.

We got booze in the truck. You know that.

Hey guys, come back.

The fucking doe must have knocked

the battery cable loose or something.

Gimme a push.

We shouldn't be stopping here.

You're telling me that?

Hey Bob, can I get you another Spikehorn?

Thanks, but I'd rather not.

Oh yeah. Daddy is home.

♪ You see 'em coming at you every night ♪

Three Spikehorns, beautiful.

$3.75.

Actually, I'll have a Spikehorn Light.

Okay.

Two Spikehorns for Karlos and I,

one Spikehorn Light and a tampon for Egbert here.

We actually don't have Spike Light.

- Just the tampon then. - All right.

♪ They make you restless, it's nothing you ain't seen before ♪

No, we got more in the back.

Yeah.

Well, hey boys.

- Hey. - Hey.

Welcome to Deer Camp. What'll it be?

- Three Spikes, darling. - Okay.

Hey, uh, something's wrong with your friend.

Stop staring, Wes.

You're embarrassing us in front of the nice Indian lady.

What's wrong with you, man?

All right, boys. Here we go.

To honor.

Getting on her, and staying on her.

Oh, fuck yeah.

All right.

Now it's your first time hunting buddy, right?

You ready to kill something?

- Mm-hmm. - All right.

Now before you go shittin' in the woods,

let me show you how to squat

so you don't get mud in your ass flaps.

Oh, I ain't shittin' in the woods.

The hell you talking about?

We're not going to the fucking Trump Plaza Motel, Ep.

Well, it's only a week. I'll be fine.

This sumbitch some going to be turd tuckin'.

I'm pretty sure that shit'll kill you.

He ain't wrong.

Another round please.

Ah.

Here you go.

I didn't catch your name.

Oh, uh, I don't tell strangers my name.

I'm Wes.

Go on, tell him your name.

His girlfriend Carly just dumped him

and he didn't know he could love again.

Right. That's right.

It's Star.

Is that your stage name?

No, they just give

all you Native girls funny names, don't they?

Yes sir, just like they give

y'all hilljacks fucked up teeth.

What the hell did you say to me?

Hey, take your hands off her man.

Do we need to step outside

so I can straighten out those teeth for you.

Would you give me another, sassy mouth?

I don't think so.

Ahh.

Well, that was fucking gross.

And I thought chivalry was dead.

Perfect. Thanks.

So how long are you gonna be in town for?

You tell me.

♪ You take your pension in loneliness and alcohol ♪

I'm gonna sell this guy, guys.

- So. - Hey.

You guys have a pretty bad leaf drop

up here over here, eh?

Mm-hmm.

Well, my company, The Rhino,

has some pretty amazing gutter guards.

- Think about it. - All right.

- Those cigarettes? - Yep.

Can I, uh, can I get one?

Oh man. Thank you

- Shots, dude. - I'm not doing anymore shots.

You need it. Two more shots, man.

Listen!

Oh, ho, ho, ho.

All right, you assholes.

Let's get those drinks in the air and make a toast.

Marry me.

Not in your wettest dreams, Robbie.

Now I know some of you think

this was once our land, but you're wrong.

It's still our land.

So when you enter the forest up here,

we have a couple of rules for you.

First, respect the great spirit

and harvest only what you need.

Second, honor the deer. Make it a merciful kill.

And third, tip your bartenders, you cheap mother fuckers.

You know she's talking to your fucking ass.

To the hunt!

- Hey, Star. - Yes, Wesley?

It is Wesley, isn't it?

I actually haven't been called that since the third grade.

- Oh. - Um,

there's this guy from work,

he's letting us use his cabin for the weekend

and he gave us this map,

but it's a little bit-

It's really shitty.

Yeah.

Oh, well that's an old logging road off of 28.

You guys got four-wheel drive, right?

- Fuck yeah, I do. - All right.

Uh, well, follow the old logging road a ways

and then here you'll see a huge tamarack tree,

you're gonna turn right.

And then in about a mile or so,

you should see the cabin on the left.

And if you hit Lake Manitou, you've gone too far.

That's a cool necklace.

Oh it was my grandmother's.

Are those shells?

Deer toes.

Gnarly.

What the fuck are you dick sticks looking at?

Oh, a bar fight. How original.

What's going on here?

Why don't you ask the cast of "Deliverance" over here?

Well, the way we see it, we got a darky, a wetback,

and four fudge packers.

What the hell did you just say?

I ain't no fudge packer.

- Yeah, this here's Karlos. - With a K.

Used to be with a C,

but after he registered 25 Ks in Lebanon,

he changed it legally.

Ain't that right, Karlos?

Always been with a K.

Dude.

Aren't we over this racist bullshit by now, guys?

It's 1986.

We just don't like your type

coming up here breathing on us.

What the fuck you doing

with that confederate flag shirt on, boy?

You wanna make something of it, boy?

You keep talking like that,

and I'm gonna be your back-door stranger.

Come on guys. This is the Peace Pipe, right?

And no one wants to end up in the county jail-

Marshmallow-ass mother fucker.

Ah! Fuck!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Hit him in the fucking face.

You fuck.

Fight, fight, fight, fight!

- Get off him. - Dude.

Just remember, when you pull the trigger this season,

it could have been worse.

Crazy fuck!

Stop right there, numb nuts.

The fun's over.

I thought your type only used bow and arrow.

Oh, I'm pretty good with my bow.

But that's a really small target.

Let's get the hell outta here, Buford.

Of course your name is Buford.

I bet all you fuckers are named Buford.

This ain't over. Bitch.

- Let's go man, come on. - Yes, Buford. It is.

All right.

Who's buying me a drink?

Oh. Perfect.

Hello?

Number one or number two?

Okay.

Make a sound and I'll cut your throat.

Get off me!

Stop it.

Stop it. I don't wanna have to kill you.

Get off me!

Get off me!

Get off me!

Yo, Wes. Check out my moonwalk, man.

Geez. Hey, have you seen Star?

You got it bad, dude.

All right. Time to go boys.

I can't leave yet, guys.

Bullshit.

We gotta leave while someone

can still keep us between the ditches.

Hey! Found him on the shitter.

You wipe for him?

Guys, I gotta say goodbye to Star before we leave, okay?

Dude, I promise you we'll come back, man.

Let's hit the fucking road.

♪ For a lesson learned

♪ But none of that's a great concern ♪

I left a note here for Star.

I'll add it to the others.

♪ Home got my

48 beers in 24 hours.

That's my record and I intend to crush it.

48?

Holy shit, J.B.

Them cornholin' sons of bitches

done fucked up your truck, man.

Those assholes.

Uh-oh. Looks like J.B.'s too drunk to drive.

I guess one of us is gonna have to, okay, I'll do it.

The beast lives.

All right, which direction are we going boys?

North on 37.

And then we're gonna-

All right, fuck it. We'll wing it.

I remember my first time, Ep.

Do I want to hear this?

Bob set me up on a narrow draw

between two winter wheat fields.

And right at dawn, I see a huge rack.

Must've been your mama bringing your ass a sandwich.

Hey, you leave Lorraine's tits out of this.

- Uh, left, right here. - Where?

Right here, uh, left right here.

Which fucking way, man?

- Right here. Right here. - 'Kay. Jesus.

Anyway, huge rack.

Not my mama's tits, but an eight-point.

Man, my hands were shaking so bad,

but I remember what Dad told me,

he said, "Buck, but you worthless piece of shit.

Just take a slow, steady breath

and you let out half of it

right before you go squeezin' the trigger."

I aced that bitch and we ate his heart for lunch.

- Wait, the heart? - Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna show you how to cook up by heart, buddy.

I ain't eating any heart.

It's ritual.

First buck we kill, we cook up the heart.

You don't have a choice.

Oh man, it'll put hair on your nuts too.

I don't need any more of that.

Hey, right here. Right here.

Can you turn that fucking thing off, please?

What do you care?

'Cause it's pissin' me off. That's why.

Are you guys sure we're going the right way?

Oh yeah. This is the place.

Bad ass.

Ain't this place the shit, Karlos?

Good place for killing.

You got a horseshoe in?

Fuck yeah. Shit.

Is it weird that made my nipples hard?

Look at this place.

Oh wow.

And they left us a welcoming gift.

And some reading material.

Lacey Waxwing.

Oh yeah. '79 catalog.

She likes long walks on the beach.

Is that...?

- Bear trap. - For what?

Some bears, fuckwad.

Maybe I should have fought harder for her.

Maybe we should throw that thing in the fucking fire.

This cabin needs gutters.

Bros before hoes, dude.

Shotgun man.

All right. All right.

All right, Buck, go.

Here we are, the greatest hunters

in the state of fucking Michigan.

Pulled one deer tag

before we even got out of the fuckin' truck.

Beat that, bitch.

Hey, smell that?

Hey Karlos, Karlos, Karlos,

say something to the world, buddy.

Come on, man. Fucking introduce yourself.

Sorry. He's a little shy.

He's new to the group,

but the rest of us, we've all known each other

since before we sprouted pubes.

But he's a great electrician,

but he's a mean-ass drunk.

A little dip for the little dip?

There you go. Oh, there you go, buddy.

Right in the lip.

- Like that? - Great. Yeah.

There you go, buddy.

There you go. You can feel it, right?

- Oh, he's gaggin'. - Hmm?

Look out. Look out.

Oh!

Paulson.

Sheriff, Deputy Williams here.

I'm over at Murphy's Peace Pipe

and, uh, one of the bartenders

was found out back this morning.

Murdered. I got her right here.

It's Star.

It's Star, uh... I got you.

I know her mother.

Son of a bitch.

What was the cause of death?

Not sure yet.

She was strangled and stabbed.

Was she, um,

was she raped? - No.

Looks like she fought back.

Well, that would've pissed him off.

Who's on scene?

Right now, the coroner and Detective Anderson.

Let them finish up there

and find out who was at that bar last night.

And then get back here as soon as you can.

Yes, sir.

Sheriff.

I just got off the phone with Star's mother.

You know what she told me?

"I knew this would happen one day."

Why the hell would she say something like that?

Long before you put on a badge,

this girl, Melissa Fox, was found murdered.

A couple days later,

group of hunters were found disemboweled.

This one, we had to identify by his dental records.

A couple summers later, another girl was found dead.

We found some backpackers mutilated.

Dive team had to pull a couple bodies

outta the bottom of Lake Manitou.

Ever catch the guy?

There's a pattern here.

Every time a girl like Star is found dead,

more bodies follow.

You know, Sheriff, Buford Johnson and his goons

were at the Peace Pipe last night.

We know what kind of guy he is

and we know what they're capable of.

And these notes were left for Star.

A few of the names I don't recognize.

I'm gonna need you to stay here.

Round up the usual suspects.

Yes, sir.

I'm gonna start with Buford, see what he has to say.

Then I'm gonna go to the woods.

Why?

Try and prevent another bear attack.

Good morning, sunshine.

How do you drink and chew at the same time?

The hell are you talking about?

This is the breakfast of champions.

I mean, doesn't it get all mixed up together?

Yeah, sure.

But so do your green beans and your mashed potatoes.

It's all going to the same place, right?

Oh, speaking of which, I think I gotta pump a dump. Yep.

Ooh!

All right boys, call 'em out.

Bolt action .30-06

Model 94 AE.

Model 1894. Thanks Grandpa Herm.

.30-30 lever action. Hot loads.

Don't point that fucking thing at me, man.

.270, nine-power scope

.410 pump.

- A .410? - That's a child's weapon.

This is birdshot.

They're bullets. What's the difference?

Good Lord, Egbert.

Hey, keep on pumping that thing. Let's see what happens.

Maybe let's just keep it down here

until we get outside, huh?

Okay.

All right. You're hunting with me today, Ep.

Come on.

Wait, is that...?

The shitter? Oh yeah.

I already cooked up a meatloaf in there this morning.

Now, from here on out. No more talking, okay?

Hand signals only.

Got it.

The fuck did I just say, man?

Dude, we should go back to the Peace Pipe tonight.

Fuck that, man.

We've been trying to get you out here in the woods

for the past two years.

Yeah, but I think she liked me.

She flirts for tips.

Maybe you're jealous.

Man, Buck's a crazy dude, man.

How long you guys been working together?

One time in high school, man, it was so crazy-

Look, look. I hunt alone.

Um, okay.

Well good luck.

You know deer can smell a asshole a mile away.

Prick.

Egbert, get your little ass over here.

No.

I don't want this beer,

but after last night, I need this beer.

Ah.

Cheers.

Get over here.

Come on.

Come here. Come here.

Did that come from camp?

Someone's in trouble.

What the hell?

Come on, bitch. Get up.

What the shit?

Who fucking...

This every one in your party?

What son of a bitch just got himself fucking killed?

Karlos, you might wanna lower your, uh...

Karlos, is it?

You scared off lunch.

What could we do for you, officer?

It's sheriff. Sheriff Paulson.

You boys were at the Peace Pipe last night, weren't you?

Yeah, we were there.

Just long enough

for some racist fucktards to pick a fight with us.

Yeah and put a tire iron through my window.

The bartender was found murdered this morning.

Her name was Star.

Star Agache.

Fuck.

Sorry, Wes.

Wes?

Wesley. This is you?

You wrote this?

Yeah. That's me.

You wrote that you were gonna go back for her.

I was. I, I was planning on it.

So did you, did you go back for her?

Nobody left here last night.

Your sounding rather accusatory there, sheriff.

Yeah, we didn't come up here

to get in any trouble, your Honor.

Not living up here, you boys wouldn't know it,

but too many of our girls go missing.

Outsiders come up here and take more than venison.

Well, what about those assholes at the bar?

Yeah. I mean, she kicked them out

with a shotgun pointed at their asses.

Pissed 'em off real good.

Yeah, I'm not telling you how to do your job,

but maybe look up those backwoods,

cousin-fucking pieces of shit and see if they know anything.

I already did.

And they had the same sentiments about you.

I ain't no cousin fucker.

Her mother named her Star

because of what she saw in her eyes.

There's no hiding from the sins committed on these lands.

I can't believe this.

What kind of coward could do this?

I've seen worse in Lebanon.

This isn't fucking Lebanon, Karlos.

Hey, push me again.

Come on. See what happens.

Guys, guys, guys, guys.

Calm, calm, calm, calm. Right?

Your work friends a real asshole, Buck.

Yeah, he knows. Drink this.

I don't want a drink right now, man.

Look buddy. I liked her too, okay?

She had spunk, she was smoking hot, cute little mole,

but you have a choice to make.

You can either let this drag us down

or we can acknowledge this girl's life

right here, right now.

There you go.

Whoa. What is that?

I don't know. Uncle made it.

Kicks though, don't it?

It just burns.

Like a fucking herpes flare.

Buck, you fucking asshole.

Did I miss something?

Ep, perfect timing.

We're gonna need that pop gun.

It's a .410, Buck.

You're up first, J.B.

She was more than beautiful.

She was fucking spirited.

Who?

The bartender was found murdered this morning.

Pull.

Nice shot.

She saved my ass from that hilljack too.

Pull!

Son of a bitch, man, you almost shot my fucking hand off.

He's panicking 'cause it's his jerking-off hand.

Hey, fuck you.

I'm ambidextrous and you know I get way more ass than you.

Oh yeah?

Come over here and sniff my dick

so you can remember what pussy smells like.

Oh, I already know what your sister's pussy smells like.

You fucking prick.

What was her name again?

I know she knows mine

'cause she screamed it a thousand fuckin' times.

- Fucking relax, Buck. - Seriously, Buck?

You're such a fucking asshole.

Never gets old man.

Seriously. Fuck you, asshole.

All right, Wes, let's see what you got.

She, she was more than funny

and, and spirited and all that.

You know, she, um, she...

Just toss it, Marino.

What the fuck, man? That was a perfect throw.

What are you doing?

There's something in the woods.

I don't see anything.

You couldn't see a pair a titties

if they slapped you in the face.

What'd you see, Wes?

One of those confederate fuckers?

No, I don't think so.

Maybe it was a bear.

No. Guys, I'm serious.

What the hell, Buck?

Warn us before you blast off in our ear, Dude.

A crow? Why the hell would you shoot that?

I was warming up my trigger finger.

You gonna eat it?

Fuck no. Who eats crow, man?

At least bury it or something, man.

I'm gonna waste my time burying a fucking crow?

We should head out soon. We're losing daylight.

Hey, enjoy the only reach-around you're ever gonna get.

While we're at it, there's a lot of log,

so scoot the fuck over.

Sorry.

So you think Wes saw a bear?

Probably.

As long as you're faster than the slowest guy,

it shouldn't be a problem.

Although you got a lot of extra weight

in your colon slowing you down, so.

No, no, I'm fine.

I swear to God, if you fart,

I'm gonna stab you with an antler.

Fucker!

What the hell?

Karlos?

Karlos! Karlos!

Fuck!

Karlos!

Karlos!

I dropped her on the spot.

You sick, sick fuck.

All right, first slab's Egbert's.

Hey J.B., Come get this.

Guys, this was barely in the pan.

Yeah, just long enough to heat up the juices

and by juices, I mean blood.

Nothing worse than a dry heart.

That's right.

J.B., you wanna fix your radio, it's-

Oh, fuck!

Hey, turn that thing off.

Son of a bitch must have sold me a lemon.

What the hell?

Piece of shit, fucking 'Burban.

Surprised you get a signal out here anyway, man.

All right, it's gettin' cold now. Come on.

Come on, man. It doesn't taste like anything.

Yeah, it's like pate.

Pat what?

It's like duck liver, fucker. Just eat it.

Here, wash it down with this.

Uh-oh.

- Oh! - Gross, dude.

It's pathetic, man.

Where's the water?

There's no water at camp, Ep. Beer only

No, no, no. Fuck you, crazy man.

- Take it. - I'm not eating that.

Didn't know we had two pansy asses here at camp.

It's a doe, Karlos.

Your point?

We don't have a doe tag.

We always eat the first heart, Wes.

Of the first buck, Buck.

Yeah, whatever. Okay?

To the first kill of '86.

Fuck yeah.

Right here baby.

- Cheers, gentlemen. - Cheers.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- What wrong with it? - Maggots.

What the fuck is that?

Guys? Come in here now.

What does he want now?

The fuck is it now, Egbert?

The bear trap's gone.

Why would they take the bear trap?

Those things are worth like 200 bucks, man.

Those assholes know we're here.

Gah. Guys, they're just trying to scare us, okay?

They're fucking with us, right?

We're here to have fun.

This is Deer Camp, right?

Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer.

Let's go, out the door. Come on.

You guys can do what you want. But I'm going to bed.

Same here, Buck.

That's fuckin' bullshit.

What? A little worm infestation draw your pussies out?

- Yes. - Drink this. Here.

The party's just getting start-

Buck, shut the fuck up or I'm teabagging you.

Simon, turn that thing off, man.

Seriously, dude.

It's inside me!

It got inside me!

It's fucking inside me!

Ah! Ah! - W-what the fuck?

What is it, what is it, man?

What is happening?

Egbert, what is inside you? - What's going on?

Someone gag the bitch.

It was crawling on my leg.

It embedded.

Well, what the hell is it?

I don't know.

All right, let's see it.

- I think it was a dream. - Strip.

Guys, seriously, I think it was just a dream.

Hey, Buck, what the hell's in that shit, man?

I don't know, but I feel bulletproof.

Strip.

- Oh! - Shit!

Looks like your nuts are wearing a pelt.

Woo. I think we just found Bigfoot.

Holy shit. Hey, you're gonna have to hold up that shaft.

What?

He needs to examine your cock bag.

'Cause if it is what we think it is,

you're gonna want Karlos to get it out real pronto like.

It looks like hairy bat wings.

- Oh God. - Take a look.

Yep. Oh, that thing's buried in your coin purse

like it's treasure hunting.

Mm-mm. - What is it?

- It's a fucking deer tick. - Well get it out.

I'm gonna need some light.

I'll start the generator.

All right, what's the plan, Karlos?

Well, when the little baby stops squirming,

I can get the head out.

You hear that, Ep? Don't squirm.

It hurts.

I haven't touched you yet.

Eg, hold still

or the head will break off inside you.

Aren't these things filled with disease?

- Yeah. Whine disease. - Huh?

You're fucking whining. Shut up.

Oh!

- Congratulations. - Oh shit.

You survived.

Am I bleeding?

All right. Who needs a drink?

What the fuck did you do, J.B.?

What do you mean?

What's up with the generator?

I don't fucking know.

You and Karlos are the electricians, dude.

It's not an electrical motor dipshit.

Is there fuel in it?

Son of a bitch.

- J.B.! - Gimme a second.

Dude.

Who the fuck took my kill?

Maybe it was those assholes from the bar.

We're going huntin'.

Wait a second. Guys?

Get your pants on, Ep.

They were probably just fucking with us.

I mean, we're not killing anybody, right?

You might not be.

Hell of a thing, Deer Camp, isn't it?

When we find these fuckers, I get first shot.

Shoot to scare, please.

Marines shoot to kill.

Buck, why'd you invite this guy?

He's on work release.

I thought it'd be good for him.

Yeah, I can hear you fuckers.

Hey, everybody, relax. All right?

We're not killing anyone. Right, Karlos?

Hey.

What is it?

I don't know but it's hunched over my deer.

Whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

What the fuck's it look like, shit stain?

I'm gonna shoot it.

Get your hand off my barrel.

You don't even know what it is.

It could be a bear, but they should be hibernating, right?

It does sort of look like a bear.

Can't shoot a bear.

Bull fucking shit I can't.

It's out of season, asshole.

- It stole my kill. - Good. Let it.

Now let's get the hell out of here.

- Nope. - Shit.

- Go, go, go. - I see you fucker!

Let's go, you fucking lunatic. Come on.

Hey! Why'd you run?

I had the shot.

I could have ended this war.

What fucking war, Karlos?

We're in Northern Michigan.

All right, everyone, uncinch your girdles. Take a breath.

You, drink this and calm the fuck down, huh?

I don't want a beer, Buck. It's not even 9:00 AM.

Exactly. We shoulda had the first one at six.

All right. Who saw what it was?

Huh?

Personally, I, I think it was like a possum.

- A fucking possum, dude? - You're fucking kidding me,

man? - A possum?!

It had a white face. What out here has a white face?

Those hilljacks, they're pretty white.

I don't think it was a hilljack, Simon.

Well, maybe it was a wolf.

Wait, wolves? There are wolves out here?

Wolves don't make rattling sounds, all right?

This is something else.

Hey, dudes.

I got it on tape.

Let's see it.

- Take a look. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You suck at filming.

You got fucking Parkinson's or something?

Fucking film it then next time.

How about that? - Fuck you, man.

Fuck you, man. - Let me see it.

- Fucking bitch! - Come on, man.

Come on. Stop, man.

Call me a bitch again.

Simon?

Here. Lemme see it.

Oh shit.

Let's go.

What the fuck you talking about?

We're not staying out here.

Not with whatever the hell that is.

No one's fucking going anywhere.

Who's driving me?

And no one's fucking driving your ass nowhere neither.

Simon, where you going?

I'm going back to Detroit where it's safe.

Simon!

Candy ass!

Go to hell, Karlos.

Oh, I've been there already.

It's called Beirut.

Hey, Simon. What the hell, man?

You saw that thing?

Yeah, it was probably one of those rednecks

playing dress up or something.

I'm not sticking around to find out, Wes.

We got six guns and a crate of ammo, man. Come on.

Yeah, you'll need all of it.

You're gonna get lost. You dick.

Me lost?

Yeah.

You know, Wes, you hadn't been hunting

with us for two years

because you were fuckin' lost.

And the sad thing is, if you stay here, you're fuckin' dead.

So let's go, man. Let's go.

I can't, Simon.

Whoever's out there fucking with us

is probably the same crazed asshole that killed her.

Wes, I'm not sure that thing was a man.

I can't leave here until I find out.

Good luck, Rambo.

What is it you think?

Whatever it is, it's gonna be hanging

from the buck pole before dinner.

- Fuck yeah. - That's right, buddy.

He left.

You guys, I, I can't let him walk out alone.

He's a deserter.

You stop with that bullshit war talk, man.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You don't know what it's like to have served, okay?

Oh, but you do.

Buck, you spent two weeks in the Marines and then quit.

I was honorably discharged

after they found a heart murmur.

And you know that you son of a rotten bitch.

Guys. Come on.

J.B., can I get the truck keys?

J.B.

I'm gonna drive Simon out and I'll be right back.

You hand him those keys, J.B., I'll stab your knee.

He's not gonna stab your knee.

Oh no. He, he will.

He will.

Probably won't start anyway.

Why do you care so much, Karlos?

Because Wesley,

I paid the price for cowards.

What happened?

Hummus eater cut me

collar to collar,

left me to die.

Did I deserve that

because I stayed and fought while others ran?

I served this country

to protect your American right to hunt.

I say we exercise that right.

You see, now it feels like a hunting trip.

Fuck yeah.

Holy shit!

- Take cover! - Let's go.

We gotta get inside. - Wait, man!

- Come on! - Come on, come on.

- Shit! - They actually shot him

with a fucking arrow.

Someone lock the door!

We gotta get you to a hospital.

Bullshit! Push it through.

- What!? - Push it through?

If we pull it out, the broadhead will tear everything up.

We gotta push it through. All the way through.

- Oh! - Geez.

Well?

All right. I'll do it.

I'll do it. I'll do it.

Okay. You ready, bud?

- Yeah. Ow. - Sorry, sorry.

Okay. Okay.

Oh! Fuck.

No, I don't think I can do it, man.

Come on, man. Liquid balls, let's go.

Fuck. All right.

Ah! Ready!

- Oh, shit. - Come on.

Okay. Here we go, here we go.

Oh, I can see the tip!

Almost! - Holy shit, man.

Fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck.

What the hell is that?

That's no broadhead.

Is that stone?

- It's outside. - Grab the guns.

Stay on my six.

Let's squash this fucking turd.

Ep, grab the fucking ammo.

- Why me? - 'Cause you're the bitch.

Shoo, you're fast for a fat man.

Wrong. I'm fat for a fast man.

I got the ammo.

Oh, good do you want me

to lick your crinkle star or something?

Fuck no, pack rat.

I brought it out for you guys.

Good. And you can carry it for us too.

You see anything, man? - No.

You fucking carry it.

Oh, look. A fucking tough guy, huh?

Ow! You fucking twerp.

Hey, Egbert, stop embarrassing yourself.

Hey, Egbert, calm down, man. Come on.

Yeah, it's easy for you to say, Wes,

you haven't been treated like a piece of shit all week.

That's funny, huh?

You know what, you bastards?

You two can go fuck each other.

Look at that.

You finally got some nuts in that hairy sack.

Okay, I'm sorry guys.

I just, uh-

No, don't ever apologize, Ep.

That's right.

You shove our shit right back into us

when we give it to you, buddy.

I guess, I guess you guys just pushed me

a little too hard.

I gotta tell you guys something.

That night at the bar, I went out to-

- Egbert? - Guys.

Egbert!

Ep! - Oh my God!

- Ep! - Ep! Ep!

Where'd he go? - What the hell?

- Ep! - Ep!

We're coming, buddy.

- Ep, where are you? - Fuck.

Is he okay?

He's fine as peach fucking cobbler.

- Ep! - Ep!

Where is he? - Ep!

- Egbert! - Ep!

Ep!

- Shit. - Egbert!

Guys.

Egbert!

Ep, buddy.

- Hey, Egbert. - Ep, buddy.

Ep?

Holy shit.

Egbert. Oh God.

What the fuck is this thing?

Jesus!

- Ep, buddy? - What the fuck?

Fuck.

I guess he finally took that shit.

Where the fuck is it?

I'm out!

Let's get the hell outta here.

Fucking run!

Ah!

- You got the keys? - I got the fucking keys.

- It better start. - It'll fucking start.

It better fucking start.

It'll fucking start, fat ass.

Oh, god.

What the hell?

What the fuck?

Who the fuck's in there?

Oh shit.

- Oh! - Oh shit!

Oh shit!

The fuck?

Oh shit. Oh fuck.

- We need ammo. - No fucking shit, man.

- Oh! - Holy fuck!

Shit!

- Where is it? - It's gone.

Yeah and so is its tomahawk.

Don't be telling me this thing's a fucking Indian?

I ain't saying shit, okay?

Where's the rest of the ammo?

- In the corner. - Oh fuck!

- What's it want from us? - Shit!

Egbert must have grabbed it all, which means we're fucked.

Here. Here.

There's a dozen in there.

Get away from the door.

I'm just trying to look, man.

That thing flipped the 'Burban like it was a Matchbox car.

That door is made a pine lumber.

- Shit. - Fuck.

What the fuck was that thing?

I don't know.

But we're no longer the hunters.

You mean it's fucking coming back?

Oh yeah.

How can you be so sure?

Because we're still breathing.

What's the plan, guys?

This may surprise you, but I say we run for it.

No, no. We'll end up like Ep.

No. Only the slowest one of us.

Come on, Buck.

Hey, it's survival of the fittest, fucker.

I have an idea.

In Lebanon... Here we go again.

We took cover in a metal warehouse

where the rebels set up a booby trap for us.

Okay.

Wired electricity to it.

One poor bastard, a private from West Virginia,

he leaned up next to the exterior wall and it, uh,

and it, uh... And it what?

And it sealed him to it.

The fuck? What the fuck?

Charred him like a slab of bacon.

That fucker set up a trap for Egbert.

I say we return the favor.

Fuck yeah.

We're not the Ghostbusters, Karlos.

You have a better solution?

Hey, Buck, Someone's gotta rig that generator.

- Generator's outside. - Yeah, no shit.

Well, you fucking do it, man.

Well, you always bragging about how you the fastest.

- Fuck. - Nah.

I need you thinking clear.

If I'm thinking clear, I'm not going out there. Huh?

All right, so you're telling me

I wait for it to touch the cage and I pull this.

And then it will fry its ass.

It's not cutting it a little close?

What do you guys think this thing is?

You've asked that already.

No one's given me an answer, so I'm gonna keep on asking.

It's a fucking forest demon.

I mean, where did it come from?

What if it doesn't come back? Huh?

What if it waits us out? Wait's for us to go outside.

We only got 12 beers left.

Is that all you fucking think about?

No, I think about your sister

and her saucy bottom bits too.

One more word about my sister

and I'll cut your fucking AIDS-riddled dick off.

What was her name again?

- You're such an asshole. - Can you guys please shut up?

11.

Buck, J.B.,

I've been an awful friend of you guys and I'm sorry.

These last few years I've just been

so focused on keeping Carly happy-

- Oh shit. - What?

This is the part

where we all say something meaningful before we die?

'Cause if I'm being honest, I don't give a fuck.

I, I don't want to hear it.

And it would please me greatly

if you would shut the fuck up.

Oh, good. Simon forgot his Simon.

It's broken.

No.

It's here.

The fuck?

That things not broken. It's possessed.

What's it saying?

It's on the roof.

Oh, oh, oh fuck.

- Fuck. - Oh shit.

It's playing with us with.

We're it's prey.

You gotta be patient.

He's trying to lure us outside.

It's just like back in fucking Lebanon-

K-Karlos?

- Oh fuck! - Oh fuck.

Oh shit.

Fuck.

Guys, on the tomahawk, it's Star's necklace.

Oh, Jesus. - Holy shit!

Pull the rope, Buck!

Fucking pull it! - I'm trying!

Come on, Buck.

Start, you son of a bitch!

Guys!

Oh fuck, oh fuck.

You guys see it? - Did it work?

Now for my original plan.

Fuck.

- Ow! - Shit.

Get off your ass, man.

Shit.

Where is that fucking coming from?

Guys?

It's fucking with us.

Shit.

Hey, come on. Come on.

Holy, guys.

Hey Buck!

We're almost to the lake.

- Buck, it's Leslie. - What!?

- My sister's name. - No, fucking shit man.

That's for Leslie.

J.B., you traitorous fuck!

Oh shit!

What the fuck, the fuck is that?

Ow. Fuck me.

Wes?

Where's Buck?

He wasn't fast enough.

- That thing killed Star. - What?

H-her necklace was around the tomahawk.

Wes, what the are you talking about, man?

Hey, listen to me. We're gonna take that boat,

we're gonna paddle across the lake

and there's a road on the other side that goes back into town.

- No. I don't wanna die, dude. - Hey! Hey!

I'm gonna get you across the lake, okay?

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Oh shit, Wes.

Eyes forward. Keep paddling.

Oh shit.

Oh God. It's gone.

We're almost there.

Faster, man. Fucking faster.

Shit.

Oh fuck, Wes, it's spinning us.

What the fuck?

Oh fuck.

Fuck! Shit!

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Oh God. We're gonna die.

Hey, hey... We're gonna fucking die

out here, man. - Hey.

Hey, look at me.

What did I tell you? No one's dying out here.

I'm not gonna let anything happen-

Wes! Wes!

Fuck!

Shit, shit, shit, shit. Shit.

Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

What the fuck do you want?!

What are you?!

Impossible.

I...

Who's in there?

J.B.? Shit.

I watched you die.

Oh, fuck!

You squaw bitch!

You missed.

You'll take no more.

Star?

How did I not know that J.B.-

Please.

♪ Tell me who will believe your excuses ♪

♪ Who's gonna swallow all your lies ♪

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Shit. - Oh, oh.

What the hell happened to you?

- Wes! - Simon.

Oh, you made it to town?

No, I got super fucking lost. The sheriff found me.

Where is everybody?

Wes, what happened?

Yo, what the fuck was that thing?

It was um, man, it... A bear.

It's always a bear.

♪ Well that judge on judgment day is friends ♪

♪ I'm a sexual vessel

♪ I like to push buttons

Meat is murder!

Meat is murder! Meat is murder!

Meat is murder! Meat is murder!

I love animals. They're delicious.

Oh yeah?

You wanna eat something? Eat a dick.

- Meat is murder! - Bitch.

Meat is murder!

Holy shit.

When's the camp? We almost hit that fucking deer.

It was pretty damn close.

I need alcohol in my belly. Now.

- Hey. - Oh, let's get,

let's get the bottle.

Let's get fucked up, boys.

- Oh yeah. - Fuck yes.

Let's do it.

Let me get four lo-cal shots

and four of those hard seltzers.

Oh, hey boys.

Check out Pocahotness.

Welcome to Deer Camp.

♪ It was a hot summer's day

♪ I was lookin' to play

♪ And the radio, it was turning me on ♪

♪ And the music from the speakers ♪

♪ Took my heart and made it cleaner ♪

♪ I dreamt the radio, and they were playing my song ♪

♪ Yeah, rock 'n' roll, It's in my soul, aw yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, rock 'n' roll, its in my soul, aw yeah ♪

Don't clean your gutters

because fall isn't the only thing leaves could do this year.

Ugh. Ugh.

Don't let this happen to you.

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That's toll free at 888-40-Rhino. Call now.

Four. Charlie Chaplin.

Take two, Mark.

Hey, let's not hit Buford.

He was actually really interested in the gutters.

Gutter guards.

Fuck your gutters, boy.

Whoa.

Egbert, shut up.

Don't you talk about his gutters like that.

Dude, you took the words right out of my mouth.

I was about to fucking say that shit.

♪ Wanna see through whatever it is ♪

♪ Hunger pains for power

Fuck your gutters.

Um, okay.

Egbert, shut up.

No.

I'll fuck my gutters, uh...

♪ Getting accustomed to equity

♪ Love doesn't make me weak

♪ Not a Desdemona on my knees

♪ I'm trying to be better

Fuck you, fucking asshole.

Did I miss something?

Wait a minute-

How is that even possible?

♪ Hold my tongue

♪ Don't want you to find out just how much I care ♪

♪ Don't live for you, but believe me ♪

♪ Life is anything but easy

♪ You make it more than bearable ♪

♪ I don't need you, but I love you ♪

♪ And I love that I don't need you ♪

♪ And you're someone worth fighting for ♪

♪ Getting accustomed to equity

♪ Love doesn't make me weak

♪ Not a Desdemona on my knees

♪ I'm trying to be better

♪ Guilty pains are pressing

♪ I'm repressing the expressing, afraid to let you in ♪

♪ I don't need you, but I love you ♪

♪ And I love that I don't need you ♪

♪ And you're someone worth fighting for ♪

♪ Getting accustomed to equity

♪ Love doesn't make me weak

♪ Not a Desdemona on my knees

♪ I'm trying to be better

♪ Love doesn't make me weak

♪ Lower stakes is not maturity

♪ You make me admit I could be better ♪

♪ Better

♪ With you I'm, with you I'm,

♪ With you I'm, with you I'm

♪ Just a little bit better