Original subtitles

What's the set-up?

It's perfect. House is miles from anywhere.

'It's definitely a real Stubbs?' 'Yeah. Worth thousands.'

SHE SCREAMS Out of my way!

GLASS SMASHES Move, or I'll blow your brains out!

'You've gotta let me in, Boisie.

'Men have been pushing me around my whole life.'

I won't have it any more.

I'm still... waiting for a visit from the social worker.

'I'm desperate to get my little girl back.'

What do you want, Joan? A normal life.

Can you act? With you on my arm, anything's possible.

I want an 18-carat four-claw mount with the fake set in.

You love all this, don't you?

Dressing up... pretending.

'I can't get that cute little ring out of my mind.'

It's an exceptional piece.

Thought you really were a green-eyed monster for a minute.

You like him, though?

Yeah, I do. I think he's great.

Marry me?

Yeah. YES!

Yes. Crack the champers!

I've got something I need to tell you.

What?

The Ashburys have asked us if they can adopt Kelly.

It's just a request at the moment.

You're her mother,

and no-one's doing anything without due process.

We do always try to keep children with their mothers.

It's really important that Kelly

moves back into a settled, stable environment.

And right now, we're not convinced you can provide that.

BOISIE: Come on, then, let's get you that sparkler.

Morning.

There we are. Perfect engagement ring.

Nice. It's gorgeous.

I love it.

Do you think Kelly will like it?

I can't believe she's gonna be here in a couple of hours.

I can't believe I handed over good money for it.

I'm not nicking my own engagement ring, am I?

Forty grand, Joan?

It's bad luck to start marriage with stolen goods.

Oh, but it's all right if the cash came from the 65 grand we got

from selling a ring you did half-inch?

Mm. Yeah?

Are you saying I'm not worth it?

Hm? Cos we both know I am.

Love that.

MAN: All right, Boisie?

What can I do you for?

DS Harris.

You heard anything about an art theft in Sussex?

Not a word.

A George Stubbs got nicked, and a gun was involved.

Oh, yeah? You won't mind if we look inside?

Don't suppose you've heard any... whispers?

Me? Why would I?

They must know something, Boisie. That's just what they do.

They check all the antique shops in the area.

Yeah, but how long are they gonna take?

I mean, what if Kelly comes back early...? Stop.

It's going to be fine.

Don't let the door hit your arse on the way out.

We've gotta get rid of that painting.

I'm working on it. Never mind "working on it".

We can't sell it now, can we? Just chuck it in the river.

I can't fight Kelly's adoption with the police sniffing around.

They didn't find anything. Yeah, but if they do,

it's a direct link between us and the robbery.

Can you calm down? We carry on as normal, it'll blow over.

Are you fucking serious? What do you suggest, Joan?

We go straight.

What?

We run this place completely legit from now on.

There ain't an antiques shop in the world that's completely legit.

Yes, but we need the social to think we're a normal couple.

We're not, though, are we? I mean it, Boisie.

So, no more diamonds, no more furs?

And what will you do all day? I'll work in the shop.

DOOR BELL RINGS

Put that out. They'll give her the third degree when she gets back.

She's a kid.

Well, she ain't stupid, I'm telling you now.

Hello!

Hi, Kel. Come in, come in.

Hi, sweetheart. How are you?

When did you get that big?

You must be Boisie. Mrs May.

And you must be Kelly.

Kels, this is Boisie.

Boisie, this is the most beautiful girl in all the world.

Right, I'll be back later to get you for your tea.

Oh, don't worry, I've got loads in for her.

Burgers. Hot dogs.

You still like hot dogs, don't you? Course she does.

Who doesn't like hot dogs?

CHUCKLES Bye-bye, Kelly.

Bye. Thank you. Let me get the door for you.

Thank you. Oops. Ha.

Right.

So, today, we are gonna go and see Auntie Nancy,

and she has a big treat for you!

MUSIC: 'Love Action' by The Human League

You know you're in love...

And spin! Whoo! Go, Kelly!

Whee-hee!

Or if you're a child

Kel. Kelly, say cheese.

Cheese. Yay!

Kelly! Grab anything you fancy.

Stop fussing.

SIGHS I need this to go well.

It is going well.

I want her back, Boisie.

We have to go straight.

It's not that simple.

Yes, it is. I have to do this for her.

You understand that, right? Yeah. I get it.

So you'll get rid of that painting, then, yeah?

I got the chocolate one! Look. Aw.

My goodness.

Do you know what this means?

That Mummy likes diamonds?

THEY CHUCKLE Clever girl.

But it also means I've asked your mum if she'll marry me.

And then you'll come and live with us,

and we'll be a proper family again.

A fresh start.

Am I coming to the wedding?

Of course.

You'll be my chief bridesmaid, obviously.

You and Aunty Nancy. You'll have pretty frocks, flowers.

Will I get flowers in my hair?

Well, I mean, you can't be a bridesmaid

without bloody flowers in your hair, can you?

CHUCKLES

Well, look...

I might be able to put a bit more cash in your direction,

if you're interested?

I need a buyer for something.

Sharpish. All right.

What we talking about? A Stubbs painting.

You nicked that?

Yeah, me and Joan.

THEY CHUCKLE

Police are asking a lot of questions about it.

Why I need a buyer.

None of the usual suspects are gonna touch anything that hot.

Can you think of any unusual suspects?

Maybe. Yeah?

For...

..25%. 25?!

Risky. Do me a favour.

Risky, risky, risky this one, Boise. Very risky.

All right, all right, save the spiel, mate,

I know you're broke. Who've you got in mind?

ALBIE CLEARS THROAT

Darling?

The Irish.

IRA?

They've always got money to spend.

What are a bunch of terrorists gonna do

with a painting of a fucking horse? Hang it on their wall?

They always need to buy things from abroad, right?

Yeah, guns and explosives.

Look, they have trouble moving money overseas.

But... But art, it's a different kettle of fish.

You think we can trust people like that?

I think that we can trust the fact

that they always need things to shift.

And a Stubbs is perfect.

So, is it yes, or no?

BABY CRYING

What are you doing?

Needs restoration, but before that,

there can't be a grain of dirt, or it'll get trapped.

Why don't you clean the tea sets? There are some special cloths.

Yeah.

Working in the shop was your idea, remember?

Mm-hm.

Yeah, to make sure I get Kelly back.

You know what we should do?

I'm all ears.

We should turn this place into a jewellers.

It's not enough to like sparklers to run a jewellers, Joan.

You have to know about 'em.

And not just that stuff you learned to parrot.

Proper deep knowledge. Fine, I'll learn.

How you gonna do that, then?

I want to be fully qualified.

Then you'll have to do the foundation course

which is £2,250.

Do you take cash?

Ready for the big day tomorrow, Boisie?

Yeah, Joan's got it all under control.

Nice place you've got here. Albie's mate's letting us use it.

Till I get myself sorted.

Won't be long. Fingers crossed.

Give us a shout if you want anything else.

Thanks, Val.

Can't believe you spent five grand on a wedding ring.

And 40 on an engagement ring.

You're going soft, Boise.

EXHALES HEAVILY

Yeah, I couldn't nick 'em - Joan wants us to go straight.

What women want and what they get are two different things.

I've been telling Val I'm going straight for years.

SCOFFS

Joan's different, though.

Too right.

Well, here's a day I thought I'd never see -

you getting married.

Yeah, and to someone you actually like.

CHUCKLES

What?

It's just a bit quick.

Do you know him well enough?

I do, yeah.

We can say anything to one another. There's no... secrets.

So, you're gonna sell the Stubbs to the Irish?

Yeah.

Well, you'll need someone to say it's not a fake.

And it's gotta be an expert. They're no mugs.

Mas cervezas? ALBIE CHUCKLES

Thanks, Val.

These ones done? Yeah. Yeah.

Nice one, babe.

I was thinking Hugo at Abney's.

He's the one that gave me the tip-off in the first place. Hm.

Trust him?

Enough.

'I've got a little something for you.'

Hmm.

Are they real? Course they're bloody real.

Got Kelly a necklace, as well.

I wish she was here.

You'd think the social would let her stay the night.

It's not allowed,

while they're still talking about... bloody adoption.

Can you imagine what Mum and Dad would say?

Oh, don't start.

I just wish you'd invited them,

so they could see how well you're doing, and Kelly.

No, that man is not coming within a mile of my daughter.

He's too ill to hurt a fly these days.

It's never gonna happen.

CHINKS GLASS

May I present my beautiful, talented wife.

Let's hear it for Mrs Hannington.

APPLAUSE, WHOOPING

You're not so bad yourself.

Just don't expect me to honour and obey, OK?

LAUGHTER

Er, speech, Boise, speech!

ALL CLAMOUR

Come on.

You know, I'm a man of few words.

RONALD: Only when it comes to the Old Bill, Boisie.

LAUGHTER

Only words he knows down the nick are "no" and "comment".

So I'll keep it brief. Thank God for that.

If you'll let me get a word in...

All I want to say is...

I'm very grateful to you all for coming

and helping us celebrate today.

I can honestly say I have never been happier.

So, here's to you.

To Boisie and Joan.

ALL: Boisie and Joan.

APPLAUSE

I love you. I love you.

MUSIC: 'I'm So Excited' by The Pointer Sisters

LAUGHTER

We're gonna make it happen

All other things aside

And show me some affection

In the night

I want to squeeze you, please you

Are you all right?

Lots of noise and people you don't know, eh?

Joan!

Come on! Come and dance with us.

SOFTLY: Not gonna leave her on her own, am I?

Which one's your favourite? Tell me he hasn't got the hump

cos you've gotta look after your own daughter?

Oh, mind your own.

Keep your hair on.

How about you keep your nose out?

First off, you're telling me I don't know him well enough...

And do you?

What was all that crap about the police and "no comment"?

If you're not banging on about Boisie,

you are on one about Dad.

He'd be proud of you now. Proud?

You know as well as I do that if he were here,

he'd be finding fault in everything,

just like he's done since the day I was born.

You were the apple of his eye. Yeah, till I turned 12.

Joan, you were a tearaway, he was old-fashioned.

He didn't know how to handle you.

I wasn't a tearaway, I was a runaway, and you know why.

Why do you pretend like you don't know what he did to me?

I've still got the scars to prove it.

Not in front of Kelly. Oh, no, she's gonna grow up understanding

that it's not all right for a man to behave like he did.

And it's not all right for other people

to make out like it didn't happen.

You and Mum are as bad as each other, you know that?

So, you'll dance with Albie but not your husband?

Kelly needs her. You can see that.

How about you take Kelly back to the Ashburys', eh?

They're staying nearby.

You don't wanna go yet, do you?

I'm tired.

'Ere you are, ten minutes in a taxi. No, I want Kel here.

Yeah, but she doesn't wanna be here, does she?

Nancy?

Give your mum a kiss, Kel.

You all right?

Yeah? Good girl.

Come with Auntie Nancy.

She'll be all right. Come on.

CHEERING

Judging the value of a gem stone is complex, of course,

and much depends on the type of stone,

but the number one factor will always be durability.

No matter how beautiful a stone looks,

the most important characteristic is how long it will endure.

And do we know which stones are the most durable?

Diamonds. Actually, no.

Anyone else?

At the back.

Jade?

Correct.

Could you tell us why?

Well, diamonds are the hardest stones,

but they have perfect cleavage,

so they can split in two more easily than jade.

You'd say, then, that we should look to avoid cleavage in a diamond?

I wouldn't go that far. LAUGHTER

So, if we're prepared to excuse cleavage in our diamonds,

how do we value them?

The first question we must always ask ourselves

is are these diamonds real?

And if we're talking about uncut stones,

we're going to answer that by checking for any tiny inclusions,

or, in layman's terms, flaws.

Because a flawless uncut diamond is a fake.

BOISIE: All you've got to do is tell them

the painting's genuine, which it is.

I can't.

You've done it loads of times before for me.

Not this one.

You'll get your usual fee, plus 10%.

I value my kneecaps more, Boisie.

So, you don't want that grand for the initial tip-off, then?

You're getting nothing if I can't sell it.

I know you need that cash.

Just find someone else, Boisie, for God's sake.

For one thing, I'd never pull it off. Look at me.

Hm? HUGO INHALES

I'll screw it up.

They'll see I'm a wreck, and they won't believe me.

OK.

If I find someone else,

then you need to get them plotted in here.

The Irish will want to know they're kosher.

And what will I tell my boss?

Say... I dunno, they're here to train.

Hugo, you can say anything you like, I don't care.

If you want that grand, this is what's happening.

And I need you to tell 'em everything there is to know

about George fucking Stubbs.

Well, they'll need to be word-bloody-perfect. Listen...

there is no way this is coming back on me.

'This is the one I'm not sure is genuine.'

I think I can see the smallest flaw, but...

Some inclusions are extremely hard to detect

with magnification alone,

so checking for fluorescents with a UV torch

can be very helpful.

Hm? Hm.

Have another look.

Do you see an inclusion?

I can, yeah.

That means?

It's real.

HE EXHALES

You gonna tell me what's up?

I've found a buyer for the Stubbs.

We agreed that you'd chuck it in the river.

No, we didn't. Yes, we did.

Cos I'm only trying to get my daughter back,

and you stood there, and you told me that you understood that.

I do understand.

Oh, yeah, provided you can still do whatever you want, when you want.

A work of art is not going in the river.

I just need someone to say they're from Abney's

and sign it off as legit.

I'd ask you to do it, but...

You don't care, do you?

You don't care if I get her back or not.

Well, married life is suiting you.

How do you know I'm married?

It's my job to know what you're up to...

what you're thinking. Hm.

Well, go on, then, clever clogs.

You hungry?

Hungry for what?

Change.

Excitement.

'I know what you really want, Joan.'

To have Kelly back with you.

And I would love for that to happen.

The thing is, I don't think it can.

Not now.

What's this?

That robbery in Sussex.

Don't know what you're on about. Yes, you do.

Harris and his boys searched the shop.

That's the woman involved.

Harris has met you.

If he sees this, he's gonna know straightaway that it's you,

and he'll nick you for aggravated burglary.

You're looking at years for that, not months.

It doesn't look anything like me.

The thing is, I can make sure that doesn't happen.

Why would you do that?

I mean, you don't wear a uniform, but you've still got a badge.

All you've got to do is work for me.

You be my eyes and ears,

and I'll do a deal, get the other thing gone.

Think about it, Joan.

You could have a completely different life.

You're safe, with Kelly.

I'm not a grass, Tom.

Anyway, I've got nothing to tell you.

CAR PULLING UP

Thanks, I'll keep it.

Here you go, mate.

What's with the Old Bill?

Don't know what you're on about.

That bloke I've just seen you with.

Well, who says he's Old Bill? We both know bacon when we smell it.

If you must know...

he wanted to show me this.

Apparently, she was involved in nicking a painting by George Stubbs.

A burglary, Boise.

A burglary where a bloke got clocked with a gun.

According to who?

The woman who owns the house and the painting.

What about the fella? He say anything?

Oh, no, don't worry, all he can remember

is that whoever hit him was wearing a mask,

so you are in the clear.

It's just me facing time.

With one witness, who drinks like George Best?

That'll never stick. It will if they find the painting.

SHE SIGHS

SHE COUGHS LIGHTLY

DOOR CLOSES

TYRES SCREECH

Oi! Don't.

I'm not going down and losing my girl over a few quid, Boisie.

It's not about the money.

It's about who the buyer is.

I'm selling it to the Irish.

You've organised a sale with the IR-fucking-A,

and you didn't tell me?

I know, I know. It was the only fucking option, so...

I just want Kelly back. This won't affect that.

Are you mad?

Tell them it can't be done, tell them the deal's off.

I can't do that with the IRA. Are you trying to get me killed?

We said we were going straight.

That life's not for the likes of us, Joan.

I need you, Joan.

I have since the second I laid eyes on you.

IF I do this...

..it's because we have no fucking choice.

Can I help you?

Jessica Cunningham to see Hugo Saxton.

Of course. Thank you.

Right, tell me about this.

One of a set of three paintings

commissioned in 1759 by the second Duke of Richmond...

The THIRD Duke of Richmond. Jesus!

We've only just been through this.

You do realise how dangerous these people are?

Of course, I know.

You cannot mess up.

One of a set of three paintings

commissioned in 1759 by the third Duke of Richmond,

who was so pleased with the results

that he encouraged his fellow dukes and lords

to follow his lead. TELEPHONE RINGS

Hugo Saxton.

MAN: 'Can I speak to Jessica Cunningham, please?'

Yes, she's here with me now. One moment, please.

Jessica Cunningham speaking. How can I help you?

CLICK, DISCONNECT TONE

Right. HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

You'll need to inspect every inch very carefully.

And you'll need to check the signature

against photographs of other examples.

'As for the brush strokes,

'you're assuring yourself that these are in keeping

'with the artist's entire body of work.

'Be confident, self-assured.

'Most of all, do not hesitate.'

Good afternoon, everyone.

Jessica Cunningham.

Sean. This is Michael.

You work at Abney's?

I'm sure you've checked, or I wouldn't be here.

So, how are we gonna do this?

It's not my business,

but I do need a quiet space to assess the piece.

Right, well...

CLEARS THROAT ..I've got an hotel room.

Not a fucking chance we're all in the same room

with both the painting and the money.

Because?

Plausible deniability, sweetheart.

Right, you come to the hotel with me and do your thing.

You, stay here with Michael. Hang on.

When, er... Sorry, what's your name again?

Jessica.

When Jessica confirms she's happy with what she sees,

I call Michael, he'll give you the cash.

I'm not just going to hand over the painting...

We do things our way or not at all.

I'm sure Albie'll be around to keep an eye out.

It's all right. Let's just do what he says.

LIFT BELL DINGS

Drink?

No, thank you.

You're tense.

You're armed.

Right, then, shall we take a look?

There's a lot of copies around.

It's a very popular artist.

Big exhibition at the Tate last year.

I wonder how many of them were fake.

Each painting will have been authenticated.

By someone like you? Yes.

You're not exactly honest, Miss Cunningham,

or you wouldn't be here.

My reputation relies on my opinions being honest.

If they could be bought,

they wouldn't be worth much, would they?

What's your opinion on this?

Patience, please.

Interesting.

It hasn't been relined.

And?

And it's highly unusual.

To find a piece in its original condition, like this,

is... rare.

Let's see.

Ah. Candle wax.

The thing about fakes, good fakes,

is that they're completely perfect.

Every stroke utterly perfect.

But what about the flaws, Sean?

TELEPHONE RINGING

Michael, phone.

Thanks very much for the Stubbs.

Now be on your way.

I think you need to get going.

I want my money.

And I want a free Ireland.

We had a deal.

SCOFFS Your deal's fucked.

Now, leave.

While you still can.

You do know what we do with these paintings, don't you?

I stay out of these things, Sean.

We use them as collateral to buy arms for the struggle.

As I say, I stay out of these things.

Well, you're a hard bitch, right enough.

I'll think you'll find I'm not hard, just practical.

Do you fancy that drink now?

I'm afraid I have another engagement.

I really do...

GRUNTS Police! Stay down!

SHE GRUNTS

All right. Get in.

Good look, Joan.

You been following me the whole time?

I'm sorry. I tried to offer you a way out.

Pigs.

You're all the same.

HE SIGHS Joan...

MAN: 'Joan Hannington, you are remanded in custody,

'and we are not granting you bail

'because there are substantial grounds to believe

'that you will not come back to court,

'or you will commit another offence.

'We believe this because of the nature and seriousness

'of the offence and how you might be dealt with for it,

'and because of your criminal record,

'personal background and character.

'You may apply to the Crown Court for bail in due course.'

Don't you fucking hang up on me!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! PRISONER: We're waiting!

I've just arrived. I need to make some calls.

I need to call my little girl. No, I need to call MY daughter.

Go on, we're waiting!

RINGING TONE

'Hello, 0-8-2-9?' Mrs Ashbury? It's me, Joan.

Can I speak to Kelly, please?

SHOUTING

'Joan?

'Joan.' I said can you please tell...

'I'm truly sorry, but I think it's better

'if you don't speak to Kelly while you're in your current environment.'

No, no, you can't do that... 'As I say, I am sorry.

'It's better for Kelly. You can see that, I'm sure.'

DISCONNECT TONE

GUARD: Calm down! What is going on?

SHOUTING CONTINUES Calm down!

If you let them rule

Go, glitter girl

Don't let the mirror fall

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