Original subtitles

- Hey, mom.

Hey, I'm home.

- Bus. - Huh?

- Bus, it's me, Gussie. - I...

- Hey. - Welcome home, Bus.

- Welcome home.

- I'm so glad you're home. - Right.

- Bus, I just wanted you to know how glad I am to see you.

- Morning.

- Mom, Bus has got a tattoo. Did you see it?

- I saw it.

- Oh, it's wonderful to have a man in the house again.

I get so tired of females.

- A tattoo.

- I don't know what possessed him

to do such a childish thing.

- It's on his arm. It's a bleeding heart. Oh, I love him.

I wanna get one myself.

- You? - Yeah.

Can I, mom? Can I get a tattoo?

- One tattoo in the family is enough.

- What did he wanna get a tattoo for?

- Because his heart was bleeding for Laurel Murdoch

when he ran off and joined the Navy.

- That'll do, Gussie.

- All sailors have tattoos.

- Bus got one because Laurel Murdoch wouldn't marry him.

Bet you anything that's why he joined the Navy, isn't it?

- No, he joined the Navy because he wanted to see the world.

- I guess I just better be getting off to school now.

That old principal gets mad as a hornet

if all us teachers aren't there by 8:30.

Oh, Gussie. Do you want a ride?

- No. I don't like to get there that early.

- Oh. Mrs. Riley.

I don't know how I'm gonna like it here now.

I mean, there's only one bathroom

and I know how men can mess up a bathroom.

- Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way, Carlotta.

- Well, I may decide to move.

- Well, well, all I require is one month's notice.

- I'll think about it.

- I bet most men are tidier in the bathroom than she is.

Honestly, mom. She makes a mess out of everything.

She's got her pants and her stockings up to dry.

She washes her hair and doesn't even clean out the basin.

- Okay. Paula, I'm eating my breakfast.

- Oh, no! - Oh!

- Hi, Bus. - Hi.

- When did you get home? - Last night.

- You don't remember me. - Uh, Judy.

- Right. - Yeah.

- I've come by to pick us Gus.

She ready to leave? - Oh, well no, she's eating.

- I know. - Oh.

- Can I come in? - Uh.

- She, she's in the, in the kitchen.

- So you got in last night. - Yeah.

- You gonna stay around for a while, huh?

- Oh, yeah. I'm out now.

- Good. I, I guess I'll see you later, huh?

- Uh-huh. - Bye.

- Bye.

- Ms. McLaney, what's the matter?

- Oh, it's all right, dear. Don't touch me, dear.

It's all right.

I just have these little attacks once in a while.

I'm just gonna be fine. I'll just be fine, dear.

Thank you.

- See you in school. - Yeah.

- Morning, Mrs. Riley.

- Morning, Judy. Sit down. I'll give you some pancakes.

- Okay. Hi, Judy. - Hi.

- Good morning, Judy. - Morning, Paula.

- How's your mother? - Oh, she's all right.

You know how mom is.

- Hey, Paula.

- Hey, Paula. Some jerk's blowing his horn for you.

- That's Stu. I gotta go.

- The neighbours are gonna ask us to move

if he keeps that racket up every morning.

- I'll see you later. Bye-bye.

- Hurry up.

I've got a lab test in chemistry this morning,

and I haven't cracked the book yet.

- You know,

I don't see how any girl could turn down a guy like Bus.

- The man she married has a lot of money.

- Yeah, well what's money compared to Bus?

- The sun doesn't rise and set on Bus Riley.

- I think he's greater than

Rock Hudson, Gordon Cooper,

Cary Grant

And George Maharis all rolled up into one.

- Well, remember that he's human too. He has his faults.

He's not Superman.

- Of course, he's human.

- Hey.

Oh, it's me. Hey. Hey, Gus.

Hey. I give up. I can't sleep in this house.

Will, you look at that.

You've grown into quite a girl, Gussie. Wow.

- Am I as pretty as Paula?

- Yeah, I think so. - Liar.

- Except Paula's still stuck on his up.

I bet she is. She always was.

- Oh, it's good to have you back.

- Yeah.

Hey, if you go there in the parlour

and look in that bag of mine, I got a surprise for you.

- A present. - Maybe.

- Come on. Oh, oh my God!

- Bye Bus. - Bye.

- Bye, Mrs. Riley.

- Bye, Judy.

If you never have another friend in the world,

Gussie'll make up for it.

- Well, it's good to be a big shot to someone.

- I remembered you like pancakes for breakfast.

Anything else?

- Yeah, mom. You got any of those, uh, those new sausages?

- It's a camera.

I always wanted a camera.

- You got her a camera?

- I got, I got it in Tokyo, mom.

Get 'em cheap there.

- In Tokyo?

I bet I'm the only kid in school who's got a camera

from Tokyo.

- Oh, I got a present for Paula, and I got one from mom.

- Hey. Hey. It's Christmas.

- Ah hey, you. I, I gotta take a shower.

Hey.

See after school, huh? Hmm?

Paula, shh.

- Gussie, now quick run over to the grocery store

and get a package of those little sausages that he likes.

- I'll be late for school.

- I don't care if you are.

He wants 'em for breakfast so hurry.

- I gotta run an errand. You wanna come with me?

- Sure.

- Come on. - He's gorgeous.

- It's nine straight up, sir,

if you're going to make your flight.

- Alright, Simmons.

You can take the bags out to the car.

Tell Jeffries I'll be down directly.

I'm just going to look in on my wife for a moment.

- Very good, sir.

- And I'd gotten so used to the Navy after three years, mom.

I, uh, I didn't know how I was gonna feel

coming out as civilian.

You know, in the service they've always got a job for you

and they've got some clown over you to make sure you do it.

But, uh, but in civilian life,

I guess you gotta find your own way, you know?

Responsibilities, obligations.

- The A and W Garage needs a new mechanic.

I think that Les has just been waiting for you to come home

and take the job.

- No, I don't, I don't want the job, mom.

- Bus, you're a wonderful mechanic.

- I, uh...

See, this friend of mine gave a job offer, guy named Spence.

He lives here. He's a mortician.

- You wanna be an undertaker?

- Well, they don't call 'em undertakers anymore, mom.

They call 'em mortician.

- Oh. You think you'd be happy in that kind of work?

- Yeah. - Working with dead people?

- You get over it after a while, mom.

Besides, I think there's a...

I think there's a future in it for me.

- But you'd have a future as a mechanic.

You'd own your own garage someday

and you could take a night course in engineering.

- That would be four or five years.

- Well, what's your hurry? You're young.

- I just, I want a job that'll get me respect.

- Why can't a mechanic have respect?

- You know,

I'd sure like to have a new suit now.

Go over and see old Spence.

My old clothes don't fit me anymore.

I think I'm gonna get some new ones.

- Bus. - Yeah?

- Laurel Murdoch got married

to an older man with lots of money.

I knew you'd find out sooner or later.

I dreaded telling you.

- It's okay.

- Did anybody here happen to see Alice Murchison's hair

last night? - Hideous?

- I'm convinced the poor dear is moulting.

I told her. I swear I did.

You know me after three daiquiris.

I said, "Alice, darling, if that isn't a wig you're wearing,

you should sue your hairdresser."

- You didn't. - I did. Anna Bright.

Really I've seen buildings condemned on less provocation.

- I'll bid. Spade.

- I pass. Your bid, dear. - Uh, heart.

- Oh, that's insufficient dear.

Your partner bid one spade. - Two heart, then.

- Two, no trump.

- Me, they team with a kamikaze pilot.

Oh, waiter. - Yes, ma'am.

- Another scotch and soda.

And tell the bar keep to spill some in the glass this time.

- Would you care for anything else, ladies?

- No, thank you. - Not for me, thanks.

- It's a little early in the day to start drinking,

isn't it? - Not for me.

I'm on Rocky Mountain Time.

- Uh, scotch and soda. - Scotch and soda.

Say, I hear an old buddy of yours is back in town.

- Yeah. Who's that?

- Bus Riley. - Bus Riley.

When did he get back?

- Mm, yesterday I think. - How about that.

Nice guy, Bus.

Did you ever meet him? - No.

Oh, I've heard of him, but I never met him.

- If you can start this car I'll take your car

and uh, 50 bucks.

- How many miles on it?

- Uh, truth, 50,000.

- It's not bad.

- Well, it's got good tyres, but uh...

- Well, go ahead, try it. - What'd you do?

- Nevermind. Just try it.

- All right.

I owe you 50, right?

- When you gonna come work for me?

- You just uh, clean my windshield off, will you?

- Hello, Bus.

Aren't you even gonna say hello to me?

- Yeah, I'm uh, I'm thinking about it.

- Is your car alright? - Yeah. Yeah it's all right.

- Have I done much damage, Bus?

- No.

- I'm so happy to see you home.

Three years is such a long time.

- Look, Laurel, you better uh,

you better back your car out so I can uh, so I can pull out.

Okay?

- Bus. I'm sorry.

- It's all right. - It was all my fault.

- No, hey, it's a, it's a, it's a small accident.

Nobody's, nobody's dead.

- Wait.

Could we maybe go for a cup of coffee or something?

- No, I don't think so.

- Please wait.

What about the car? Can I at least pay for the damage?

- No, there's no damage. Don't, uh...

Look, why don't, why don't we just forget it?

Okay. I'll see ya.

♪ Heart has found me ♪

♪ Angel voices ring ♪

♪ Pearly gates are open ♪

♪ Open for the king ♪

♪ Hail the king of glory ♪

♪ Hail the king of love ♪

♪ He is at ♪ - There's a service

coming up pretty soon.

Having a dress rehearsal.

Old lady Herndon from out west of town.

Died from a heart attack

when one of her cats was hit by a moving van.

Poor old dear. Want to look at her?

- Oh, no. - Why?

You're not afraid of death, are you?

- No.

- She's lying there as natural as life. Pretty as a picture.

She was a sight when they first brought her here,

but Spencer's an artist.

He dolls 'em up 'til they look like chorus girls.

Come on. Oh.

You used to look after the house for Spencer, didn't you?

- Yeah.

- Where you been all this time?

- Just got out of the Navy. - Oh, yeah.

Yes, I think Spencer told me.

- Bus. What are you doing here, boy?

round here.

You'll have to see through the ceremony today.

All the Herndon kin are coming from miles round.

I want you on your best behaviour.

- I got your postcard from Hong Kong.

How are those Chinese girls?

You're back home for good, Bus?

- Yeah. Yeah, I am.

- Well, it's good to hear that.

It's good to have someone so lively as you

around a place like this.

- Yeah, Spence. - Yeah.

- I'm uh, I'm looking for a job.

- Are you, kid? - Yeah.

- Come into my office. I think we can talk better there.

- Spence. - Yeah, Bus.

- Do you remember you told me once that uh,

that you might have a job for me when I got out of the Navy?

- Yeah, I did, didn't I? - Did you mean it?

- Sure, I meant it.

I said I'd send you to night school

for a year to learn the trade, didn't I?

- Yeah.

See, I wanna make something of myself,

and I'd work hard.

I wouldn't let you down.

And I'd like to get started right away.

- All right, kid. You're hired.

I'll send you to mortician school at night.

During the day you can help around here.

I'll take care of all your expenses and,

and I'll pay you a hundred dollars a week.

How's that?

- That's great. - Look, Bus.

- Why don't you go home, pack all your stuff

and come on over and move in as soon as you can, hm?

- Uh, you mean move in here?

- Yeah, sure. I, I want you here with me.

- Well, yeah, but I didn't,

I didn't know he wanted me to uh, move in.

- I'm a lonely man, Bus.

- No, Laurel. He ain't showed up yet.

Well, I'll tell him if I see him.

Okay, Laurel.

What's the matter, Bus?

You look like you just came from a funeral.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah. I have.

- Who died? - Oh, I don't know.

I, I guess I did.

- Oh.

- How are you, Howie?

- Oh. I'm okay, Bus. Oh, I almost forgot.

Just before you came in, Laurel called.

- Oh, for me?

- Something about her insurance company needing particulars.

Said you'd know what it was all about.

You were to phone her at home right away, she said.

- Yeah.

Man, this town has changed. Three years.

You know, it, it even feels different.

- Well, nothing stands still, kid. Nothing.

- Yeah, I guess not.

- Look, Bus.

I know it's none of my business,

but, well, you and Laurel, I always figured that-

- Yeah. Yeah.

You know, it's like you say. Nothing stands still.

- Got any ideas now that you're back, Bus,

about what you're gonna do?

- No. No. No, I don't.

I, I thought I had everything figured out.

I'm not so sure anymore.

I kept telling myself Howie, you know,

the whole time I was away, that when I was,

I was coming back to something, but uh, I'm back.

I guess I gotta get a job.

- Job. Things are pretty tight right now.

- Yeah. Yeah. I know.

How's a guy get a job, Howie?

A decent job without a college education.

- You were a machinist in the Navy.

Get a job at A and W. They need a mechanic.

- Grease monkey.

No. No thanks.

- Oh, you're so right.

Maybe you'd like to serve muffins at the Colonial Tea Room.

- Hey, I'm sorry, Bus.

I'll go down to the bank

and suggest that they make you president.

- Hey, do me a favour, huh? Drop Dead.

Friends call me Wally.

You'll pardon me for eavesdropping,

but I can offer a young man like you an important future.

- I've known this boy quite a few years, Mr. Slocum.

His name's Bus Riley.

- Well, I'm glad to meet you. - Pleasure.

- I'll be at my office in half an hour.

Why don't you drop in and see me then?

- I uh, oh yeah. Oh, alright.

- Remember now, it's not a job I'm offering you,

- Future. - Keep the change.

- Oh, thank you, Mr. Slocum.

- Who's that?

- He comes in here every afternoon, usually with a dame.

Drives a caddy.

Always has plenty of money. What's the card say?

- Waller Slocum. It's over at the plaza.

Says the uh, The Atomic Method.

and take some pictures? - I'd like to, but I can't.

I have to do the housework.

- Can't you let it go for a day?

- If I let it go,

I'll just have twice as much to do tomorrow.

- Want me to help you? - Want to?

- Yeah, I'll help. - Okay. Come on.

to stay out of the lagoon, Luana.

It's full of crocodiles.

- Maybe father not care anymore.

Now that that hated,

poor chief he has driven us from our village.

- I mean to make everything up to you, Luana.

- Hi, mom. - Shh!

- Can you bring me back my father?

back your village, Luana.

I swear I will.

- I brought Gussie home to help me.

- Well, that's nice.

Did you order groceries for supper?

- Yes.

- What are we gonna have?

- Meatloaf.

- Couldn't you think of something

better than meatloaf?

- Listen, I have orchestra practise tonight.

I don't have time for anything else.

- Yeah, I bet Gussie thinks I'm a horrible mother.

Just sitting around the house all day.

To tell the truth,

I haven't been feeling so well lately, have I honey?

- No. - I'll help you, Judy, honey.

I'll uh...

I'll empty the ashtrays.

Oh, oopsy daisy.

- Well, I can always count on mother to empty the ashtrays.

- Remember now, it's not our vacuum sweeper you are selling,

but a new scientific method of sanitising the home.

Never present yourself to the housewife as a salesman.

Never.

You are offering her an opportunity

to share in the latest scientific research

and to protect her loved ones.

You must think of yourself as an agent

who is fulfilling the American housewife's needs.

You must understand those needs.

The American housewife is sometimes

a very lonely woman, Riley.

She is your responsibility.

- Yeah, uh, uh, responsibility.

- Yeah, and it's a serious responsibility.

When you approach her,

do not feel it necessary to keep smiling.

In fact, do you need to smile at all?

Smiles don't impress anyone today.

We're more impressed by a man's urgency.

- Urgency? - Yeah.

Oh, I trust you have a becoming business suit.

- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

- Excellent, excellent.

It is most important in this work

to create a favourable first impression.

- Mm. - Oh, uh,

try to get a manicure, huh?

- Oh.

- Remember, Riley, I'm expecting big things of you.

- Thank you. Were there any calls, Simmons?

- Your husband phoned to say that he'd be delayed

a few more days.

- Did he leave a number?

- No. He said he'd call back.

- Didn't a Mr. Riley call?

- No, ma'am.

- Thank you, Simmons.

Mr. Ogilby, please. Mrs. Aiken.

Benji? Hi. Hey, I was wondering if you might do me a favour.

That is, if you're not busy tonight. Good.

Well, Ellis is out of town again,

and I just can't face another evening alone

with the television set.

And I was wondering,

would you mind terribly taking an old married lady

out on the town tonight?

Oh, no, no, no.

You don't have to come all the way over here.

I'll pick you up. About nine?

Okay. Oh, thank you so much, Benji. Bye-bye.

- Hey.

Hey, ma. I got a job.

- Hello. - Anybody home?

- Oh. - Ma, I got a job.

- Mrs. Riley.

Uh, Mrs. Riley.

I don't know how much more I can take.

Your son is disturbing my rest

and I'm, I'm trying to cure one of my sick headaches.

Mrs. Riley.

Must he be so obstreperous, Mrs. Riley?

- I'll speak to him, Carlotta.

I'm sorry about your headache.

- Are you going to be a mortician?

- No. No, no, no, no. Never. No, God.

- Well, what kind of a job is it?

- Well, you see, I can't tell you, mother

because it's very, very scientific.

- Scientific. - Yes. Scientific.

I must tell you that.

Look, you see, mother,

it's a whole new revolutionary way of living.

- Revolutionary. - Yes. Revolutionary.

- I see. - Scientific.

- I see. - Top secret.

I can't tell you

but I wish I could,

But I can't tell you. - Bus, Bus.

- I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. Please.

No, no, no, no. Stop. What?

- Would you please try to be more quiet around the house?

- Oh.

- Now, Carlotta is a very highly strung woman

and sometimes she comes home with nervous headaches.

- Oh, headaches.

That's a poor dear.

Alright, lovely. Thank you.

I remember Carlotta. Poor dear. Headaches. Yeah.

I saying you have a headache.

- Mm. - Hm?

- All right. There you go.

- I love your new car.

- Me too. I'm hot about convertibles.

- What'd you say?

- I'm wild about convertibles. - Oh.

- I'm gonna miss the old car.

It was one of the few things that your father left to us.

- You had a call while you were in the shower.

- Hm? - Some girl.

She didn't care to leave her name,

but uh, I'm sure it was Laurel Aiken.

- Oh, I'm sure it wasn't.

- I'm sure it wasn't.

A girl in Laurel's position does not go around calling boys.

You just don't know what kind of girl she is.

That's all I'd like to say.

- You need to knock it off, Paula.

- Paula, you've just been listening to gossip.

- It's not gossip. It's only common knowledge that she-

- Shut up, Paula.

- Stretch, who is the chick over there in the blue sweater?

- Oh, that's the new ministers daughter.

- Hallelujah, I found the way.

- What'll you fellas have?

- Mm, I'll have you baby. - Hands off, Egg Foo Young.

- Vodka and tonic. - Uh, scotch on the rocks

for me, if you please. - Okay, folks.

- What are you doing after, uh, work tonight, sugar?

- Nothing that would interest you, Stretch.

- Two beers and coke.

- Nice to see you home again, Bus.

- Yeah. Thanks, Naomi.

- Well, how 'bout that?

Nothing that would interest you, Stretch.

Nice to see you home again, Bus.

- That's, uh, that's your old girlfriend, ain't it, Bus?

- Hi, handsome. Want a lift? - No thanks.

Is that all you have to do?

Ride around, pick up guys, give 'em lifts?

- Sure. It's my favourite pastime. Get in.

- What happened to your boyfriend?

- Oh, he's not a boyfriend. He's a friend. Come on, get in.

- No, no thanks.

- Oh. Aren't we proud?

- You're just wasting time. You might as well give in.

- What is it, Laurel?

- Please get in. - What for?

- I wanna talk to you.

- I don't see the point.

- I won't make a pass. I promise.

I just gotta talk to you, Bus.

- Okay.

-

That was the place we first met.

Remember that?

You were the scrawniest lifeguard I had ever seen.

You filled out since then.

- So have you.

- Can I take that as a compliment?

- Sure. Just don't build anything out of it.

- Oh,

you didn't used to be so careful with your compliments.

You used to think I was all there was

in the whole department store.

- Used to.

- I didn't even get to see you

in your little, little sailor suit.

- I never saw you in your bridal gown.

You did wear white, didn't you?

- Oh.

Could have lived without that remark.

- What do you expect?

And what are we doing here anyway?

What are we trying to prove?

- I'm not trying to prove anything.

- You got what you wanted.

I did it for you.

Daddy made me agree to marry Ellis.

He could have put you in prison, Bus.

He would've. I was only 17.

- All he had to do was give his consent. That's all.

I didn't want him to set me up in business.

- You came back. You swore you never would.

- I came back because I wanted to make something of myself.

But I have to start somewhere.

- Make something of me, Bus.

- The jobs filled, Mrs. Aiken.

Well, let's get outta here.

- Please take me home, Bus. Ellis is away and I'm all alone.

I've gotta talk to somebody. Please.

Honey, I'm just miserable.

Misery's a big club. But there's one nice thing about it.

Any, anybody can join.

- Aren't you ever gonna drink anything stronger than Coke?

- No.

- Just because your father was a lurch

doesn't mean you have to be.

You're missing a lot of fun.

- Maybe not.

- I would just love to see you get turned on sometimes.

Why don't you like me anymore?

- No, I like you, Laurel.

I've just gotten over you.

- Oh, yeah?

I bet you haven't.

I bet you're afraid to kiss me.

- Why? Why should I be?

- Because, because if you kiss me just once,

you'd be just as hooked as you ever were.

- Say, doesn't that, uh,

doesn't that husband of yours ever give you any fun?

- I hate you.

- Couple of minutes ago you were mad for me.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Hey! Ow!

- Mm.

- Mm.

- Come on. Don't be mad.

- No!

- You had enough? - Oh, please stop.

- You never let up, do you?

- I like your tattoo.

- Mrs. Griswold. - Who?

- Isn't this the Jules Griswold residence?

- Jules Griswold?

He's a multimillionaire.

He lives in a big estate way down there.

Oh, he's got 30 rooms, half a dozen automobiles,

a lot of servants. - I beg your pardon, madam.

I hope I haven't disturbed you.

- Oh, no.

Say, uh, what made you think this was the Griswold home?

- Well it's such a charming house, such excellent taste.

- Oh, thank you. It's new. We like it.

- You see, my partner

and I were just delivering something to the Griswolds.

The results of the latest research

at the atomic development centre in the city.

- That so? Is that it?

- Yes.

This case contains the results

of several years of scientific experiments.

- Well, what is it?

- A revolutionary device, madam.

Atomic science has finally turned to the American home.

- Oh, say, uh, could I see it maybe?

- Did the, uh, Griswolds specify

an exact time we would appear there, Riley?

- Uh, uh, uh no I, I don't think so.

- Well, what difference will a few more minutes make?

- Oh. Well, do come in. Come on.

- If, uh, Griswold is upset,

I'll make it up to him next time I see him at the club.

We, uh, sometimes play squash together.

- Oh.

- Riley, would you mind unpacking our product for me?

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh! Lovely.

- Do you realise, madam, that over half the deaths

in this great country are caused by bacteria in the home?

- Bacteria?

- Every home is a nesting place

for bacteria, germs, and larvae.

- Well, is that a fact?

- But at last, atomic research has finally put an end

to this unfortunate condition.

Every home can now be as thoroughly clean

and sanitary as a hospital laboratory.

- Oh. - Riley,

would you please place one of our Nuclear Mist Bombs?

- Yeah. - Bombs?

- Oh, never fear, madam.

The Nuclear Mist Bomb is the most vital agent

fighting disease in our country today.

- Oh, yeah.

- Shall we, uh, demonstrate?

- Oh, yes, please do. Yeah.

- Now this bomb, like all bombs, makes a noise,

but I don't think you'll find it too disturbing.

Thank you.

- Oh. Hm.

- Are we, uh, ready now?

- Oh, yes. Let's go.

- Oh, there there now, madam.

Everything's gonna be all right. All right. Just relax.

In exactly 10 minutes

this room will be completely disinfected.

And then my partner will apply our new vacuum attachment

that absorbs all the bacteria that have been destroyed,

carpets, draperies, the furniture by our atomic missile.

- Maybe you'd like a cup of coffee while we're waiting.

- If you're sure it's no trouble.

- Oh, no trouble at all.

- Sold.

- Ma'am, do you realise

how many deaths each year are caused

by germs in, inside the home?

- I divorced the only germ inside this home

three months ago.

- Yes, well, more than, more than half, uh, uh,

of the deaths each year are-

- You know something?

You're cute. - Oh, yeah?

- When's your birthday?

- Uh, April. April, uh, 3rd.

Uh, I have a very interesting attachment, uh, here, ma'am.

- Oh! That's Aries. I get along just great with Aries men.

See, I'm Capricorn and when Capricorn

and Aries get together it's absolutely dynamic.

- No kidding.

- Yeah, my husband was a Gemini. They're no fun at all.

- No.

Well, uh, I really don't know too much about that, ma'am.

- Call me Joy.

- Uh, Joy.

- Geminis are awful squares.

You're not square, are you?

- Well, I, uh, I don't think so.

- Good. Oh, why be square?

I always say a world's round.

You don't like square things, do you?

- Uh, well I guess not.

- Know something?

I believe in ESP too

and well, right now, my senses tell me you're gonna kiss me.

- You mean to tell me you have a daughter in high school?

- Yes. I may be a little older than you think.

- Oh.

- Of course, I was married very young.

Practically a child.

- Not that hard to believe.

- I was elected beauty queen in school.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

My husband was insanely jealous of me.

- Yes, I'll, uh, I'll bet he was.

- He divorced me and went to live in California.

I don't get enough alimony to have a maid.

I have to do all the housework myself.

- That's, uh, too bad.

- I get terribly lonely at times.

- I, uh, I can't understand how and man could walk off

and leave a beautiful woman like you.

- But he did.

What did I do to have such a terrible life?

- Hey, you, you mustn't feel that way.

- I thought you played volleyball on Thursdays, Judy.

- Hey, I didn't know this was your home.

- Oh, forget it.

You don't have to apologise. It's happened before.

- What?

- I've come home and found mother with a, a friend.

- Hey, look, I was just trying to be understanding.

I mean, I'm trying to sell something.

I'm sorry. Honest, I'm sorry.

- Did she buy one?

- Yeah.

- Well, I don't know how we're gonna pay for it.

We haven't paid the grocery bill in two months.

- Hey.

Uh, I'll talk her out of it, huh?

I'll tell her that we're out of the product just,

or something.

Okay?

- Yeah.

Okay.

- Come on. Here. Here. Here. Here.

Look. Look. Look. Look.

Come on.

You know, every, every time I come in this house

that maid of yours treats me like a burglar.

- It's, uh, very middle class

to wonder what the, uh, servants think.

- Say, uh, listen it, uh, it may not be any of my business,

but, uh, doesn't that husband of yours ever, ever show up?

- Oh, well, uh, he was here last Sunday,

but, uh, he had to fly to Iran to see some more oil wells.

- Yeah.

Say, uh, how, how would you like to go for a ride?

- Why? Oh, it's so comfy here.

- Uh, well,

I thought maybe you might like a change.

I mean, uh, we've never been out this,

this room since I've been back.

- Well, there's everything here want, isn't there?

- Well, you know, some, some people go to a show, uh-

- Yeah. - Swimming.

- Yeah. - Or bowling.

- Mm-hmm.

Well, you said yourself that, uh,

we shouldn't be seen out together.

- Yeah, well, uh, this, this place gets to be like a cage,

you know, with a couple of- - Yeah.

- A couple of animals. - Yeah, baby.

- You- - Yeah.

- And me. - Yeah.

- Here, together.

You know, that's, uh,

that's the thinnest watch I've ever seen.

- Why don't you keep it?

- No. - Oh, go on.

He'll never miss it. He's got dozens of watches.

- No. - Don't be so moral

for heaven's sakes.

Isn't it pretty? Hmm?

- Yeah.

- Mother. Mother!

Mother! Mother!

Mother!

- What's going on? - Nothing's wrong.

I went out today. Nothing's wrong.

Let's just, just everybody go to bed.

Okay? Just go to bed.

- Mrs. Riley. Mrs. Riley.

I'm giving my month's notice, but I'm moving out today.

I'm sorry, Carlotta.

Is anything wrong?

- Oh, yes, Mrs. Riley. This is a great deal wrong.

I cannot live in this house with that boy of yours anymore.

- He comes in at all hours of the night

and he sounds like some wild man from Borneo.

And he turned this place into a jungle

and he appears in the hall and he is not fully clothed.

- The school semester's almost over, Carlotta.

- Oh, I know that.

But I just can't, I just can't risk the chance of having

another nervous breakdown.

- I'm sorry, Carlotta.

- Here are the keys to my room.

- Goodbye, Carlotta.

- Did Carlotta leave?

- Yes. - Groovy.

Hey Mom, it's Judy. Hi, Judy.

What's wrong?

- My house burned down last night.

- What?

Gussie, my mother's dead.

She must have been smoking in bed again.

- We're your friends. Stay here with us.

Don't cry.

- Hey, mom. Oh, morning, Paula.

How are you Spence? - Hiya, kid.

- Excuse me.

You wanna ride with me? - Yeah.

- Judy, you go to the cemetery with Bus.

- I hated her sometimes

but I loved her too.

Is that what life is? Just loving and hating?

Isn't there some kind of love

that leaves you peaceful inside?

- When I was a kid, I worked very hard.

I, I sold newspapers and I caddied out the country club.

Later when I was a little older, I, I lifeguarded the lake

and I saved all my money because I knew one day

that I'd wanna go to college,

thinking all the time my father was investing it

until the day came for me to go to college

and it wasn't there.

He'd, uh, he'd spent it all on liquor.

- Oh, Bus. - Yeah.

But I used to blame him and I used to hate him

because I thought he did these things to, to spite me.

- Yeah.

It's so hard not to hate them

and you don't want to hate them.

- No.

- I used to get so angry at my mother

that sometimes I thought I could kill her.

Then I, I realised how sick she was and how unhappy.

I felt terribly ashamed.

- You know, it seems you have to,

you have to forgive everybody.

- What am I, what am I doing? - What?

- I'm miserable. - Why?

- I quit my job, for one thing.

- Well get another. - You got any suggestions?

- Honey, I don't know anything about jobs.

- Oh, boy. I hate myself every time I leave this place.

- Why? - I don't know why. I just do.

- It's your puritan conscience.

- No, a puritan conscience has nothing to do with it.

I just don't feel myself much of a man.

- Oh, I think you're very much of a man.

- Now, see. - Hmm?

- You're talking about one thing.

- Yeah.

- And I'm talking about another.

- For instance?

- To me, a man isn't much of a man

unless he means something to someone.

- Well, don't you think you mean something to me?

- I don't, I don't think so.

- Mm, come here.

- Now we make love over and over again.

- Yeah.

- And it never gets us anywhere

'cause we end up right in this room.

- I could get the boats one weekend

and we could take a cruise up the river.

- Hey, is that...

Is that your idea of getting someplace?

- Well, where do you wanna get?

- I would love to get me something.

- Like what?

- Like kids, family,

- a home. - Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I, I'd give you those things if I could,

you know I would.

Now will get off of it, please?

- Okay, sweetheart. Listen. I'm gonna cut out, huh?

I'm gonna get home early.

- Well, don't go.

- I'm not gonna go, I'm not going through this routine

over and over again.

- You've got another girl.

- I'll call you later, Laurel.

- Will you come tomorrow? - Maybe.

- Maybe. What do you mean maybe?

You trying to get rid of me?

- Why don't you get off it? - Call me.

- Alright. - Promise?

- Yeah, I said I would.

- If you don't, I'll call you.

- Now, don't you call me. Don't you ever call me again.

- Well, what am I gonna do now?

I look forward to seeing you all day

and, and being with you at night.

Now, I got nothing to do. - That's your problem.

- I just don't see why you can't stay with us forever.

- Because I'm a minor.

I, I have to live with my next of kin.

- You haven't seen your father since you were a baby.

- It doesn't make any difference.

- We're your friends. - I know that.

The only way I could stay is if I quit school and got a job.

- Well, wouldn't it be wonderful if you could marry Bus?

- Hey, girls.

- What are you doing?

- Well, I, I came to rob the place.

- Well see, this is the first time you've been home

before morning. - And, and nevermind.

- Long- - Nevermind.

- Ages. - Big month.

- I'm sorry. I love you.

What you been doing? - Just out riding around.

- Riding where? - Up and down the road.

Just looking at all the pretty scenery.

Want to go? Wanna go for a ride?

- Yeah, sure. - Come on.

- Better change.

- No, I don't think I wanna go.

- Oh, all right.

- Well, I'm tired.

I'm very tired. - Yeah.

- I am. - What? All right. All right.

Uh, come on. The carnival?

Do you like carnivals? - Yeah.

- Have a good time.

- 17.

Why?

- Oh, I just wondered, you, uh, you seem older.

- Well, I'll be 18 soon.

- Huh. Well, you still seem older.

- I, I guess I grew up pretty fast taking care of mother.

- Oh, yeah.

What do you think of me?

- I, I think you're the nicest man I ever met.

- Really? - Yes.

- Why?

- I, I guess it was the way you talked to me that day.

You knew exactly what I felt as if you'd looked inside

and seen everything that was there.

- You dated many boys?

- No. Not really.

I was never very attracted to boys my own age,

nor they to me.

I always felt like their mother.

- What do you feel like with me, Judy?

- A girl.

- I wanna kiss you.

Thank you. - You don't have to thank me.

- Thank you.

A male model?

- Well, you said you wanted another job.

- Yeah. Yeah.

What do I, what do I know about modelling?

- They teach you, and as I said, it pays very well.

- Yeah. All right.

What's, uh, what's his name? What do I say?

- All right he's in the Colfax building

in the city at 10th of Market.

He's on the 16th floor.

- Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Later.

- What was that all about?

- Nothing.

- Les. - Yeah?

- Hey, that's wonderful, Bus.

- Who does this old buggy belong to?

- Oh, a big shot around town named Jules Griswold.

He inherited a lot of money a couple of years ago.

Hey, uh, would you do me a favour, Bus?

- This wasn't. - Oh, come on.

I cancelled all your fuel bill with me. It was $36.

Now you don't owe me a cent.

- All right.

- Would you take the car out to him?

- Yeah. Yeah. - He and his wife

are living it up in the old Havemeyer estate.

You know where that is, don't you?

- Yeah. It's on the edge of town.

- Yeah. - Yeah. All right.

I gotta clean up, though.

- Well, he wants it as soon as possible.

Maybe you better go now.

- All right. All right.

- Here it is. Here it is. Come on, you two.

Hurry up. We can't keep Benji waiting at the club all day.

Hi there.

- Hey.

- Come on, honey. Hurry up. Hurry up.

We'll never get there.

We'll drop you off at the garage, son,

or wherever it is you came from.

We gotta hurry on over at the club.

Some of our friends are having a race.

- You, you like to come back and visit sometime, Judy?

- Maybe.

- I told her that you

and I would drive up this summer to see her.

- Oh, yeah?

- Uh, Nichols. I just wanna walk her out, okay?

- See you soon. Goodbye. - Bye.

- Thank you.

- I know she's very young for her age,

but she's very, very old

and she knows everything about housekeeping

and she knows how to cook.

- You're trying to tell me something?

- Yes.

- Hazel.

- Bus, may I have the car tonight?

- What for?

- I don't see why I have to tell you what for.

You're not my father.

- Can't Stu get his car tonight, Paula?

- I suppose he could.

- What are you laughing at, Gertrude?

- Nothing.

- She's laughing because I don't have a date with Stu.

- Who have you got a date with?

- Larry O'Brian. He's new in town.

- Brian. Brian's a good name.

I thought you were, uh, I thought you were going with Stu.

- I was.

- Have you quit going steady with Stu?

- Not exactly.

- Then why are you dating somebody else?

- I don't see why I have to tell anybody

why I'm dating somebody else.

- Well, I was just curious. That's all.

- I've seen this, uh, this O'Brian kid down at the cave.

He's, uh, he's bad news. He's no good, ma. He's no good.

- Is that right? - That's right.

- Well, I'd like to know who you think you are, Bus Riley,

criticising the guys I date.

- Two-timing. You call it two-timing.

- I'm not two-timing anybody

Stu knows I'm going out with other boys.

Besides, we both decided that I'm too young to go steady.

- Hm. Well, tell me something, uh, princess.

What am I supposed to do for a, a car?

- I don't see why you need one anyway.

- Paula, you know that Bus makes some of his deliveries

at night. - Oh, is that right?

Well, that's what you think.

He doesn't make any deliveries at night.

He just drives over to that floozy's house

and stays there until morning.

- What did you say? - You heard me.

- Paula, I don't think I know what you're talking about.

- Ask.

Ask him where he goes at night

and ask him where he got that new wristwatch too.

- Damn you, Paula.

- I don't care. He's been bossing me around long enough.

Makes me mad.

- Bus.

Don't let Paula upset you.

Is it true? Did she give you the watch?

- Yeah. - Oh, Bus.

- Go ahead.

Give me hell. Tell me I'm, uh, no good.

I'll never amount to anything.

- No, I won't because that's what you're telling yourself.

- It's true.

- You're acting just the way you did

before you left.

- I know.

- You're losing your self respect.

You're walking around with a chip on your shoulder.

- I feel like I'm ready for the booby hatch.

- I wish I could help, but I don't know what to say.

- Tell, uh,

Tell Paula she can have the car.

- Bus, where are you going?

- To get a drink.

- Bus. I told you always to call before coming here.

I'm sorry about the other day.

You're mad at me, right?

- Laurel,

I want to talk to you. - Mm-hmm?

- Uh...

I want you to tell me something.

- Mm-hmm?

- You never really wanted to marry me, did you?

There was a lot of hot air

about your old man not letting you, wasn't it?

You didn't want to, Laurel.

Admit it. It's the truth.

- That's not true exactly.

I did want to marry you, but it never would've worked out.

You know that.

- Tell me why.

- Bus, look,

I've got a few guests coming for dinner.

Why don't you come back about midnight

and we'll talk about it.

All right?

- I don't love you, Laurel. - That's not true.

- Yeah, it's true.

- No, you do love me.

- I used to.

I used to.

I used to think the sun rose every morning

just so I could see that pretty face.

I used to think night came

so we could lie in each other's arms.

Not anymore. No, I'm going.

I'm never coming back. - Oh, don't go.

- I, uh, I can't respect us.

- I'll kill myself if you leave me.

- Okay.

- I hate you.

I hate you.

- And I feel sorry for you.

- Oh, don't leave me!

- Laurel probably won't be down for hours,

so let's have a drink.

Uh, hello.

How are you?

- I'm fine. Fine. How are you?

- Uh, uh, let me see now, uh, what's your name again?

- Riley. Bus. Bus Riley. - Of course.

Uh, uh, this is Mrs. Jules Griswold, Mr. Riley

and Mr. Griswold.

- How do you do? Riley.

Riley. I've heard that name mentioned in the last few days.

Are you the Riley who lives out near Seven Oaks?

- No. No.

- Why George, that's...

You're the chap who worked on my Lincoln.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- You're a great mechanic, young man. You know that?

Why that car has worked like magic ever since you fixed it.

You're a great mechanic, Riley. A great one.

- Bus. - Hi. Hi.

- Mom's been worried about you.

- Huh.

- I wanted to thank you for letting us use the car.

- It's okay. - Yeah, thanks.

- It's all right. - I'm Larry O'Brian.

- How are you?

Sure wanna thank you for letting us use the car.

- Oh, it's all right. - Me too, Bus.

- It's okay.

- Why don't you go get the car?

- Yeah.

- Bus, is everything okay?

- Yeah. Oh yeah. Say, everything's fine.

- Bus, I wanted to say that I'm sorry

for everything I said at supper.

- Hey, that's nice.

- Oh.

- Have a good time, huh? - Yeah.

- Hey, psst.

Uh, don't stay out too late

and don't, um, don't drive too fast.

- No, I won't. Okay. - He's nice looking.

- Yeah. Yeah.

Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.

- Honest to goodness, Bus Riley.

Where have you been? I have just been worried sick.

- Easy, easy, easy. - You're not drunk, are you?

- No, I'm not. Me, drunk? No. Come on.

I've been out. You been worried?

- Yes. - Okay. I'm sorry.

I was out, I was out thinking.

- Thinking about what?

- Hey mom, you suppose there's any way

of getting rid of a damn tattoo?

Is there any coffee on the stove?

- No.

- Well, what do you say we put on a pot?

You know, it seems like a long time

since we Riley's have just sat around together

and had a good talk, huh?