Original subtitles

Mrs. Elliot Swinbourne Steele was a widow.

She was traveling west with four daughters.

They had lived for years next-door to my Aunt Abigail,

and I had promised faithfully to look out for 'em.

When I made that promise,

I have no idea what I was takin' on.

Faith was the eldest.

Don't squint, Faith. It makes wrinkles.

The second eldest was Hope.

Sit up straight, Hope. It's not feminine to slouch.

And after Hope, of course, came Charity.

Put your hat on!

How many times must Mother tell you... freckles are a disaster.

No gentleman will have you.

And last, but certainly not least,

came Prudence.

Eyes up, Prudence.

A lady never looks at the ground.

By the time we reached the Tahoe region,

half the wives on the train

weren't speaking to their husbands,

and those that were, weren't sure that they should.

It seemed to be up to me

to protect the sanctity of marriage,

the sanctity of young womanhood,

and the sanctity of my wagon train!

Major Adams.

Major Adams, may I have a word with you, please?

Yes, Mrs. Collingswood. What is it?

I want you to know that my son is a very young, impressionable boy,

and I do not intend to lose him to any scheming little fortune hunter!

Shh! You'll wake up the whole camp. I don't care if I do.

My son and I are in your protection.

You want me to protect Jeremiah from a girl?

And if one of those girls gets her hooks into Jeremiah,

I will hold you personally responsible!

How can you hold me responsible?! Now who's waking everyone?

I don't care! He's over 21, isn't he?

I am entitled to the same protection

as any other mother on this train.

I'll get an attorney and I'll take you to court if necessary.

You keep those girls away from my son!

Major Adams,

my husband spends more time with Mrs. Steele and her daughters

than he does with me!

Why, he drove their wagon all day yesterday!

Mrs. Parker, he just feels sorry for 'em, I'm sure,

five helpless women.

Well, I'm one helpless woman,

and you ruined my marriage!

I've ruined your marriage?!

Listen, I'm speaking for all the wives on this train!

We're giving you fair warning.

Either you do something about those girls,

or every wife is leaving when she gets to Truckee,

and you just see how far you go with this wagon train

without any women!

Yes, Mrs. Parker.

Thank you, Mrs. Parker.

You've got to keep the men away from my daughters!

When we joined this train, you told us you'd look out for us, protect us.

My daughters came to you with good reputations.

Mrs. Steele, I'm just trying to do my best...

A lady's good name is her most prized possession.

How can my girls hope to get husbands now?

I'm just a poor, helpless widow with four helpless girls

and no one but you to turn to!

Yes, Mrs. Steele, yes, yes.

Come, Faith. We're ready to go.

Ain't you eating?

No, I'm not hungry.

All the wives are gonna leave the train.

Nothin' but trouble with 'em.

Oh, they ain't gonna leave. They're just jealous.

Oh, I forgot. You know all there is to know about women.

I didn't get all these wrinkles from old age.

You should tell them old women to mend their fences,

and watch out for their looks a bit, too.

Tell 'em they're going to seed.

Tell em they're going to seed?

They won't speak to me now, half of 'em.

Well, go on, eat your supper.

You told me an army travels on its stomach.

You got quite a few miles to go, though.

Major, you only have to think about one thing:

Just get them Steele girls some husbands.

Oh, thanks.

Let go!

Major Adams!

I didn't know it was you. I'm sorry.

What in tarnation is the matter with you?!

I was on my way back to my wagon, and he grabbed me!

Major, I'm sorry, really I am, but...

I don't know what came over me!

She walked by and... and she looked so pretty...

Everything just went black, that's all!

I'm sorry, Major! You get back to your wagon!

I'm sorry, miss.

You won't say nothing to my wife about this?

Don't you mention it to your wife! Or anybody else!

Charlie, get all the menfolk together.

I want to talk to 'em.

By thunderation, I've had enough of this!

And you...

You... go on back to your wagon!

I'm telling you, I'm telling you straight,

and for the last and only time,

that the next man that lays a hand on any one of these girls

is gonna have to deal with me.

Now, you're not gonna ruin their reputations

or my reputation

or the reputation of my wagon train!

So you can just put that in your pipe and smoke it!

I know that you can't help being pretty,

you can't help that.

And you can't help being young,

you can't help that.

And you can't help being female.

But by golly, I'm telling you,

you've just simply got to try,

that's all there is to it!

Try what, Major Adams?

Prudence, can't you ever look at a man without flirting?

I'm not flirting. I'm just friendly.

Well, can't you look at him natural, like a brother or something?

I don't have a brother.

No, you don't have a brother.

Well, use your imagination!

You girls pay strict attention.

You've needed the guidance of a man.

If your father was here, he'd talk to you like this.

Now, girls, I know that you're all too young to realize

what this flirting and making goo-goo eyes at men can lead to.

But I'm trying to tell you like a father

that you can get into water so deep that you'll never swim out.

We can all swim.

Would you mind explaining that again, Major Adams?

Can't you understand English?

I guess not always.

It was perfectly clear to me, I...

You put it beautifully, Major Adams.

What did he say?

He says not to lead young men on.

Or old men, either!

Oh, is that all?

"Oh, is that all?" Well, that's a lot.

And you better listen to it, too,

or you'll never grow up to be a lady!

I don't know if I want to grow up to be a lady.

Oh, she doesn't want to be a lady!

She doesn't know what she's saying. She's a baby.

I'm sixteen!

Mother had you before she was sixteen.

Prudence, don't be indelicate!

Well, Faith grew up to be a lady, and she's a spinster.

Prudence, apologize to your sister and go straight to bed!

Why should she apologize? What she said is perfectly true.

Faith, darling, you're not a spinster.

I'll be thirty in August, and we all know it.

Faith could have had her pick of the town.

There just wasn't much to pick from.

Horace Greeley ruined our lives...

Writing that hateful thing.

The went west, all right...

Every young man we knew!

Just like rats following the Pied Piper.

We've been a terrible problem for you, haven't we?

I'm sure you'll be happy when we arrive in Sacramento.

Well, I sure...

I sure told those menfolk a thing or two,

and I think I got 'em straightened out.

But I'll tell ya something.

Hereafter, when you girls go walking in the evening,

either Wooster or Hawks or myself are gonna be around.

Oh, Major Adams, for the first time since the death of Mr. Steele,

I feel that I'm not alone.

May I really lean on your strong arm?

C-Certainly, Mrs. Steele.

You-You have my arm. You-You have.

Oh, what a truly kind, noble...

honorable man you are!

Mrs. Steele, I-I...

I just try to keep my word,

I try to do my duty as I... see it.

I never noticed you before.

I been noticing you.

That's why I put my uniform on.

You should wear it all the time, Captain.

Well, I'm sorry, it's only Lieutenant, ma'am.

I thought you were too young to be a captain.

My, but I love uniforms. Are you a hero?

Well, naturally.

Have you been wounded?

Several places.

Show me your scars.

If I did that Major Adams would have me tarred and feathered, ma'am.

Are you married?

Oh, no, ma'am.

You sound as if you don't intend to be.

Now we have a perfect understanding.

Oh, I could marry you if I wanted to.

I don't want to.

Have you got a girl?

You sure ask a lot of questions.

Would you like to kiss me?

Being an officer and a gentleman, I...

I could hardly say no.

Aren't you afraid of Major Adams?

Well, if he's not, he'd better be!

Listen here, young lady,

I'm gonna tell you a thing or two! Aaaaaah!

Help! Help!

Mama, help!!!

You put me down! Shut up!

You big bully! Shut up!

Mama! Put you dow...

Ouch!

Why, she's drawn blood! Naughty girl!

I ought to spank you!

I can't be spanked! I'm a lady!

Lady my foot. A lady doesn't bite.

And she doesn't carry on in the woods with a soldier!

Woods? Soldiers? Oh, Prudence!

How in the name of common sense

you ever named that child Prudence, I don't know!

She was such a sweet, innocent little baby.

Little baby, yeah. Well, she sure outgrew it.

You listen to me, young lady.

You get in that wagon,

and you stay there till I tell you you can get out!

I won't! Oh, you won't, huh?

Aaaah! You're so crazy about the army,

we can just give you a little army discipline.

Now, you're confined to your quarters till we get to Truckee!

Give me those shoes. My shoes?!

How am I gonna run away from those Indians with tomahawks?

The Indians in this part of the country are friendly,

and by golly, I'm not gonna take any chances on you...

I'm gonna keep 'em that way! Brat!

Hey, what are you doing?

Lookin'.

How old is that Martin boy?

About seventeen.

Too young.

Yeah, but Jeremiah Collingswood is twenty-two.

And you know, I think he's got his eye on Charity.

Listen, Jeremiah's mother told me that she'd take me to court

if he got involved with any of those girls.

You're not afraid of her, are you? You're goldurn tootin' I am.

Yeah, but you know, he gets $10,000 a year from his granddad.

Sure a shame to waste it.

How about that McKenzie boy?

Ellis? He's engaged to some girl back home.

But Jeremiah isn't engaged to anybody... only his mom.

Listen, Bill, why don't you lay off?

You're not gonna get me in trouble with that old gal,

so just take it easy.

Ladies.

We're gonna be able to see Lake Tahoe in a few minutes.

Keep your eyes open.

Oh!

Doesn't Major Adams ride beautifully?

Major Adams, Major Adams... That's all you talk about.

You're getting cranky, Charity.

Why don't you go back and visit the Collingswood wagon?

You know Mrs. Collingswood hates us.

She thinks we're after Jeremiah's money.

She's mistaken. We like Jeremiah for himself.

Well, I don't. He looks like an owl.

You're just not used to his spectacles.

And do you know what his hobby is? Birds.

Well, that's a nice harmless hobby.

Mama, I don't like him.

You must learn like him.

I'm glad I'm past the age when I can be considered

a commodity on the marriage block.

I seem to detect a note of criticism.

I'm sorry.

Do you think I'm wrong to want my family to have nice homes,

security, a pleasant life?

But don't you want them to have love?

Oh, my dear child, poverty is not as essential to romance

as it appears in novels.

Perhaps you're right.

My experience has come from novels.

We're getting pretty close to the top, Mrs. Steele.

I'll drive down, if you like.

Oh, thank you, Major. All right.

Get in back, Charity.

You know, Prudence,

we'll be getting to Truckee by the middle of the afternoon.

I'll give you your shoes back when we get there.

I'm sorry I bit you.

Well, I'm sorry you did, too.

Whoa. Whoa, son, ho.

Take a lookie there. There's Lake Tahoe, ladies.

Pretty, isn't it?

Come on!

What a handsome house.

That belongs to a fella named Dashwood.

Owns the biggest silver mine up here.

His wife is a very fortunate woman.

He hasn't got a wife.

He's a widower?

No, he's a bachelor. A bachelor?

Yep. Confirmed bachelor, I'm sorry to say.

Nonsense. There's no such...

How old is Mr. Dashwood?

Oh, he's in his forties, I guess.

Forties! Did you hear that, Faith?

Mama, we don't even know him!

Well, you're gonna meet him.

I was up here last week on some business.

He says he's gonna give us a party when we get into Truckee.

We'll get out your ball gowns!

Ball gowns? Out here in this wilderness?

You won't need anything that fancy.

Why, Mama, we'd have to tear the wagon apart.

Those dresses are clear in the bottom.

Major Adams will help.

I get pretty busy when I get into Truckee.

You'll take the town by its heels!

Why, who knows, the right man

may be waiting here for each of you!

Oh, what a beautiful thought.

There must be many single men of good fortune

in a town like this.

Oh, Mama, you're dreaming.

No, she's not dreaming.

There's a lot of bachelors in Truckee.

Get out the ball gowns!

Who knows what might happen?

Come on, Pete, giddyup there!

Heeyah!

Giddyup, yeahhh!

You must all do your best to appear a little more delicate.

You're too healthy.

A true lady must always be frail and delicate.

That neck line is quite low enough, Prudence.

An evening dress may expose a lady's shoulders,

but her ankles must remain a mystery until her wedding night.

And Prudence, please, try not to chatter.

A lady charms a gentleman by listening to him.

But Hope, a lady must open her mouth once in a while.

Do say something to your partners now and then.

And Faith, try not to sound too intelligent.

Intelligent women are very frightening to gentlemen.

Now, girls, be light of foot and light of heart.

This may be the most important night of your lives.

And I want you to pay most particular attention to Mr. Dashwood.

Come. We won't loiter.

Heads up! Stomachs in. Shoulders back. Smile.

They're really something to look at, aren't they, Bill?

Your daughters are lovely, Mrs. Steele.

There'll be a lot of turned heads here tonight.

Maybe even yours, huh?

I'm afraid mine's a little stiff and rusty.

But there are a lot of younger heads present.

I'm sure the hunting will be very good, Mrs. Steele.

Remember what I told ya?

I was sure we could never pin our hopes on Bill Dashwood.

Mr. Dashwood is no match for you, Major Adams.

You're the kind of man who can accomplish anything.

Oh, Mrs. Steele, I'm afraid you're a bit prejudiced.

Of course. How could I be anything but prejudiced

after watching you all these months?

Why, you're a giant among men.

Mrs. Steele, I'm just an ordinary wagon master, that's all.

Ordinary wagon master... I won't have you think of yourself that way.

You're a leader, a force, an inspiration.

There's nothing you can't do if you set your mind to it.

Well, we've got several strings to our bow tonight,

and there are many fine prospects here.

Oh, yes, Major Adams... there are.

Uh... shall we?

I didn't know the Major could waltz, Bill.

Charlie, he hasn't been a wagon master all his life.

No.

Well, if he don't watch out,

he won't be picking husbands for that family, he'll be one.

And we'll be out of a job.

Yeah.

Sure you wouldn't like to try another dance, Major?

Mrs. Steele, you see, I haven't waltzed in a long time,

and I'm not exactly sure of myself.

Amazing. You do it with such... su...

You dance so beautifully.

Who is that with Hope?

Oh, that's Clay Willis.

He's a foreman at the mines.

He's young to be a foreman, isn't he?

Yes, he is, but he's Mr. Dashwood's nephew.

Really? Yes.

He's a fine boy. He comes from the poor side of the family.

But he's got great prospects.

Hope's wasted almost an hour.

You must find a suitable partner for her right after this set.

Ahh! How did that dreadful army man get Prudence?

He's holding her too close.

Well, from the speed at which they're moving,

I think he probably has to hang on.

He has no business taking up Prudence's time at all.

Oh, and look at Faith,

wasting her time on Hawks.

Hawks is all right, ma'am, he's a fine man.

Of course he is, but he already has a wife.

Let's not lose sight of the purpose of this evening.

We're in search of husbands.

Oh, and look at poor Jeremiah Collingswood.

Rich, eligible,

and nobody to talk to but his mother.

Well, as long as that old lady's standing guard,

I'm sure that nobody's gonna get through to him, ma'am.

And I spoke most particularly to those girls about Mr. Dashwood!

Remember what Mr. Dashwood said about being a bit rusty?

Why, Mr. Dashwood is in the prime of life.

He has everything a girl could want.

Except youth.

Major Adams,

youth does not make the best husbands.

Well, it makes the best-looking ones, shall we say.

You're wrong, Major Adams.

Well, I-I...

You take the girls aside

and have a heart-to-heart talk with them, Major Adams.

They mustn't waste their opportunities.

Be firm with them. You're the only father they have.

Mrs... Mrs. Steele, I...

I'm no...

Jeremiah, you naughty boy.

You haven't danced with Charity all evening.

She doesn't want to dance with me.

Of course she does.

She's longing for you to ask her.

She is?

No, she isn't.

She thinks I'm a dullard... and she's right.

Jeremiah, I know you've led a sheltered life,

but it's time you developed a little self-confidence.

You're a very attractive young man.

Now, you ask Charity to dance.

What were you saying to my son?

Oh! Such a lovely boy, Mrs. Collingswood.

You must be very proud of him.

Get in here.

Why do we have to come in here?

Your mother wants me to talk to you.

Oh, dear. More coaching from the sidelines.

Where in tarnation is that Faith?

We'll have to go on without her, that's all.

Come on over there and sit down. Come on.

Uh...

Now, your mother want you to pay more attention to Mr. Dashwood.

We can't ask him to dance, Major Adams.

A gentleman must always ask a lady.

I don't want to dance with him, anyway.

He's so old.

Mr. Dashwood's a fine figure of a man.

Oh, I know he's very well preserved,

but he's old enough to be my grandfather!

He's only in his forties!

That's what I mean.

Why, he must be as old as you are!

Listen here, young lady, I'll have you know that I am no Methuselah!

Oh, not you, Major Adams. Mr. Dashwood.

You're not dancing this evening.

No, just looking, thank you.

You've monopolized the only attractive girl in the room.

Hope is beautiful, isn't she?

Watch out. She's got a designing mother.

Well, I, uh, hope she has designs on me.

I warn you, your charms will be estimated in terms of your bank balance.

Ha ha ha ha! What a cynic.

Why shouldn't I be?

In my time, many a Mrs. Steele

has said her daughters care for me.

Well, uh, if Mrs. Steele wants you for Hope,

you'll have to fight it out with me.

I daresay Mrs. Steele would marry me to any of her daughters,

including the baby one.

But I've lived long enough to recognize the tricks.

I'm too old to be caught now.

Haven't you ever been in love?

Oh, I had a few of the symptoms when I was about seventeen.

As I recall, it was all thoroughly depressing.

Well, I feel sorry for you, Uncle Dashwood.

I feel sorry for you, nephew Willis.

I'm safe from the Mrs. Steeles.

Uh, have you seen any interesting birds lately, Mr. Collingswood?

Are you interested in birds too, Miss Steele?

Well, I've never really met any,

except a woodpecker that lived in our maple tree back home.

Was it a downy woodpecker? A pileated woodpecker?

Or a yellow-bellied sapsucker?

Probably.

You've got a lot to learn about woodpeckers.

I'm sorry, I really haven't time.

I'm sorry too, because I've got a lot to learn about you.

You're paying no attention to Mr. Dashwood at all.

Faith, I'm speaking to you.

I said... I agree.

I am paying no attention to Mr. Dashwood at all.

Major Adams is bringing Mr. Dashwood over. For heaven's sakes, smile.

Such a lovely party. Such a generous host!

You're very kind.

Faith has just been speaking about you in the most glowing terms.

You made a great impression on her. Hasn't he, Faith?

Mr. Dashwood has made an... An indelible impression.

You see? All my daughters are such shy, retiring girls.

They never have the courage to speak for themselves.

Will you favor me with this dance, Miss Faith?

Thank you, Mr. Dashwood,

but I really don't care to dance just now.

Perhaps later?

No, I think not. Not later.

Not ever, Mr. Dashwood.

Faith! Mr. Dashwood is our host.

And we're not going to impose on that fact,

are we, Mother? Impose?!

I don't think I understand.

Well, I'm sure I don't.

You see, you are quite safe, Mr. Dashwood.

As you yourself so gallantly stated,

you are too old to be caught.

Ah. So that's it.

Even at my age, I'm still surprised

when I find a lady is not a gentleman.

And I am surprised to learn how easily a gentleman forgets he's a gentleman!

Touche.

Ohh!

Easy now, Mrs. Steele. Easy.

You're gonna be all right. Easy.

Oh, Mr. Dashwood, please forgive my little girl.

She's not herself tonight. I should say she isn't,

and I'm real sorry, Bill.

Sorry? I'm in your debt.

I haven't enjoyed anything so much in years.

Thanks, Bill.

Ohh...

You know, Mrs. Steel, I'm afraid that nothing is going the way it should.

We're getting into this thing over my head.

Thank you.

You know, there's an old-fashioned theory

that it takes two people to fully appreciate a moonlit evening.

What amazing conceit, Mr. Dashwood,

to think that you could add anything to a moonlit evening.

When you're finished with this girlish outburst,

I'll proceed with my apology.

Please don't do anything so foreign to your nature.

Do you intend to be angry with me forever?

Indeed not. I don't intend to know you forever.

I've always admired spirit in a woman.

I am not in the least interested in what you've always admired in a woman!

I'll overlook that thoroughly dishonest statement.

I realize that it's very difficult

for a woman to be honest when she's angry.

Are you daring to suggest that I am interested in you?!

It's very obvious.

Ohh! Mr. Dashwood!

And also, I confess, somewhat intriguing,

because I realize it's genuine, and not contrived.

Ohh! Good night!

And goodbye, Mr. Dashwood!

It's only good night, Miss Steele.

We'll meet again, I promise you.

Well, it was a good party, wasn't it?

Well, pretty good.

Aw, I guess it was a terrible party.

A party's no fun when someone keeps telling you who to dance with.

Shouldn't have had to tell any of you. You knew why you were there.

Why, we were on exhibit like slaves at an auction.

No other woman of my acquaintance

has four daughters to launch, four husbands to find!

We could all be old maids.

There hasn't been an old maid in our family in over a hundred years.

There was great-aunt Hester.

Great-aunt Hester died at the age of 12. She doesn't count.

There's no use crying over spilled milk.

The milk did not need to be spilled!

Well, I didn't spill any milk.

I let Jeremiah Collingswood dance all over my feet.

Tell us about the yellow-bellied sapsucker, Charity.

Prudence Steele, that's barroom language!

Major Adams, I want you to wash that young lady's mouth out with soap!

Not me. She bites, remember?

Obviously you've never met a yellow-bellied sapsucker.

Well, she's met Jeremiah Collingswood,

and he's a real... Charity Steele!

It's the name of a bird, Mama. A woodpecker.

Well, it has a... A very indelicate name.

You know, I can tell you its entire history.

I can also tell you the entire history

of any other woodpecker you would care to name.

Very well, Miss Sauce Pot.

Do you prefer Mr. Dashwood?

No!

Does she have to like one of them or the other? After all, she's only 17.

Major Adams, I am not speaking to Faith at the moment.

Will you kindly inform her that I cannot afford to lose any prospects?

Faith, your mother says...

Major Adams, kindly inform my mother

that Mr. Dashwood is a disagreeable,

miserable, rude, arrogant,

impossible man!

I thought he was charming.

And he is not a gentleman.

That's kind of a serious charge. What did he do?

Well, that question is an invasion of privacy, Major.

It's a good question. By all that's holy, you're gonna tell me!

And by all that's holy, I am not!

You just wait a minute here!

If that fella Dashwood laid one finger on you, so help me I'll...

He wouldn't dare.

Then what did he do that was so terrible?!

You're yelling at my sister! I'm yelling at all of ya!

Your bully tactics won't work with me.

I hate, loathe, abominate and despise the ground he walks on!

And even if you beat me to ribbons you won't change my mind!

ALL: Good night, Major Adams.

But what did he do?!!

Mrs. Steele,

I can handle a regiment of soldiers.

I can cope with the desert, with a snowstorm,

with sleet, with rain, with... even Wooster!

But these four daughters of yours are just too much for me!

You mustn't lose heart, Major Adams!

Lose heart? I've lost my confidence!

Hush up out there!

Don't cry. Please don't cry!

If you desert me now, what will I do?!

Shh!

You'll wake up the whole camp!

I'm not going to desert you.

MAN: Quiet! Oh, thank you, Major Adams!

Thank you! Thank you!

See? What'd I tell ya?

Charlie, we don't have to worry about the Major.

Don't you be too sure.

He's almost human, you know.

Hiya, Bill! Hiya, Mr. Dashwood.

Where's the Steele wagon?

On down the line a-ways. Thank you.

Come on, let's move it up!

Oh! My dear Mr. Willis! My dear, dear Mr. Dashwood!

Come. I'll conduct you to Major Adams immediately.

Clay, you...

you say that you want to court Miss Hope, is that it?

Yes, sir.

And Bill, you want to court Miss Faith?

Well, I'll be.

Mrs. Steele, you and I better have some private talk back here.

Gay, impetuous young men!

Listen, is this young Willis all right with you now?

Well, you said he was a fine young man with good prospects.

And of course, we mustn't risk offending Mr. Dashwood.

But you can't let Dashwood court Faith. Why not?

You know how she feels about him.

She says she hates, loathes, and despises the ground he walks on!

But Major Adams, that means she's very much in love!

I guess I just don't understand the English language.

When I say I hate somebody, I hate 'em. When I love 'em, I love 'em.

But you're not a woman, Seth.

Thank heaven I'm not! Have you decided to accept us?

Sweet boy. So anxious.

Of course you'll be acceptable.

You understand that I'm not guaranteeing this. I want no part of it.

It would be highly presumptuous if you did.

Well, Clay, we're part of the wagon train.

You mean you're joining us? Oh, no!

Let's put it this way, Seth.

You're gaining a couple of sons, not losing a couple of daughters.

But I want to lose 'em! I'd like to lose all of 'em!

I wish I'd never laid eyes on...

Say, then, maybe you'll want them to stay here

and you can court 'em here, huh?

Leave the wagon train? Leave you?

Yes, Truckee's a wonderful place.

You'll like it much better than San Francisco.

Then all the girls can be married right here.

No! No, Major Adams!

I could never manage without you now.

Cheer up, Seth. The more, the merrier.

Thanks, Bill.

Come, boys!

Clay?

Faith should be here.

Let's not force her. I'd rather she'd be here of her own free will.

How many you want, Bill? One.

I'll take one myself.

Hey, who in tarnation is that out there

walking with Charity tonight?

That Williams boy.

Charity likes variety, you know.

Bill, better walk on out there, and keep your eyes open.

See that they're all on their feet and moving at all times.

I wish you had never met that Aunt Abigail of yours.

How about a little two-hand?

Well, I might. Deal 'em.

I told Mother I was going for a walk with Charity,

and she's so upset about Faith and Mr. Dashwood

she forgot to ask me any questions.

I just love it up here in the mountains. Don't you?

Of course you do. Everybody loves the mountains.

I've never seen mountains like these before.

Hey, she stopped talking.

Prudence!

PRUDENCE: I just stopped to get my breath, Major Adams.

You get out there. Don't let 'em out of your sight.

Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute!

Three aces.

Hello, Faith. You walking by yourself again tonight?

I like being alone.

Well, just don't wander out of earshot.

Good evening, Miss Steele.

We seem to be walking in the same direction.

Are you determined to spoil my walk?

May I tell you I am traveling with the wagon train?

Mr. Dashwood, is there any way I can convince you

that I am not in the least interested in your affairs?

But I am almost unbearably interested in yours.

Be careful, Mr. Dashwood. I have a designing mother. Watch out for traps.

But I am trapped, hoist with my own petard.

You have captured me, Faith... my dear Faith.

I have captured you? Completely.

Then I set you free.

Forgive me for taking up your time.

Please accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.

Good night, Mr. Dashwood.

You were right the first time. It was goodbye.

Faith...

you know, honey, I once heard of a man

who cut off his nose to spite his face.

And he was never very happy without it.

Are you referring to Mr. Dashwood as my nose?

He's in love with you.

In love with me.

He's in love with himself.

That may be, but he's also in love with you.

He thinks you're a fine and beautiful girl,

and he offers you his honorable name

and-and his devotion and...

I've never asked for Mr. Dashwood's good opinion.

But honey, he has a great deal to offer.

A great deal to offer?

Yes! Comfort, security, position, money!

How dare you suggest such things could influence me!

I'm not for sale, Major Adams!

I wasn't trying to suggest that you were for sale! I...

Comfort! Security! Money!

What about warmth and kindness and sensitivity?

Mr. Dashwood is emotionally bankrupt!

Wait a minute, Faith. Wait.

Listen. You've only known the man a few days.

I knew that when I only knew him for a few minutes.

You just want me to marry him because you think we'll go back to Truckee

and you'll be rid of us! Now, easy, girl,

just take it easy, will ya?

And stop talking to me as though I was a horse!

I don't know how to talk to you!

I wouldn't marry Mr. Dashwood if he was the last man in the world,

and maybe he is the last man in my world,

but I still wouldn't marry him!

- Help! Get me out of here! - What's that?

Someone must have had an accident!

Sounds like Major Adams.

Maybe you're needed, Mr. Wooster.

I'll see Prudence back to the wagon.

You sure you'll go right back? Oh, yes!

You promise? Oh, yes, sir!

All right, I'll trust you. Wooster! Charlie!

What happened?

That question is an invasion of my privacy!

Well, what are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?!

That water's a little cold, ain't it?

Where I'm sitting, it's sizzling!

I'll give you a hand.

Pull.

Well, pull!

You're a little heavy.

No, I...

Boy, you're sure heavy!

Achoo!!!

See there, Major? You're catching cold.

No, I am not catching cold.

I'm just sneezing.

"Boil out a cold," that's my motto.

Acch!

Aaah! No, you don't. Keep 'em in there.

Charlie, you're just basically mean!

You'll thank me for this tomorrow.

I won't thank you if I can't walk!

Well, Charity and Hope are delivered safe...

What happened to you? Oh, none of your business.

He fell down. Blabbermouth!

How'd that happen?

I got tired and I sat down to rest!

You're sure in a great humor.

Shut up.

Come on, Major! I'll take you piggy-back.

Ohh! Major!

Come on, Charlie! That's hot!

What's the matter, Mrs. Steele?

Prudence! That army man!

Oh, my baby! My baby!

My baby! You were assigned to Prudence!

She told me she was going straight back to the wagon.

Besides, I had to take care of you... You left your post!

She's run off with him, all right.

Oh, my baby! My sweet baby!

Married without her mother, even!

He... he will marry her, won't he?

After all, he is a lieutenant.

An officer wouldn't run off with a lady and not, would he?

I... Well, I... Ohhhh!!!

Major Adams!

Well, go get her! Don't just stand there!

All by myself? Well, I can't go, and neither can Bill Hawks!

Now get going, will ya?!

I'll go with you. So will I.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Dashwood!

You take your horse whip, Mr. Dashwood!

She'll be all right, now.

I wish I had thought of running off.

Why?

Well, at least Prudence is with the man she wants,

not handcuffed to someone Mama wants.

Perhaps after all Mama does know best.

Major Adams.

Major Adams, you must help me.

Now, what is it, Mrs. Collingswood?

Jeremiah's in a state.

I know he's in a state,

and he's gonna get worse before he gets better.

You don't understand.

Last night, I found him looking up all the facts on matricide.

Matricide, ma'am?

The murder of a mother by her son.

Well, he's not gonna do it on this train, ma'am.

I certainly hope not!

You can bet your boots he isn't.

What next?

I don't know, Bill, I swear...

Don't cry so much. It'll make your eyes red.

No man likes a red-eyed female.

I have had enough. I've really had enough.

You hold up till I get back. Right.

Jeremiah, get down off of that wagon.

I want to talk to you.

Yes, sir.

Take that coat off.

Come on, throw it up there.

Now take our neck tie off.

Talking about matricide, huh?

I thought maybe if I scared her a little,

she'd let me live my own life.

Unbutton that collar!

Get them glasses off!

Would you mind hitting me with them on?

I can't see a thing without 'em.

Get them glasses off!

Now let me look at ya.

Well, I figured that, it's just like I thought.

Thought what, sir?

You come with me, and you do exactly as I tell ya.

Can I put my glasses on?

Don't mind your glasses. What are you gonna do with me?

I'm going to emancipate you!

Charity, come here to me!

Jeremiah?

Is that you?

Major Adams has given me permission to marry you,

and I'm gonna do it.

Why, Jeremiah.

Why didn't you take those glasses off before?

Is that Jeremiah? You bet your boots it is.

Jeremiah, you come back here this minute... Mrs. Collingswood.

May I leave you with just one thought?

"Matricide."

I can't plan to be married while Faith's so unhappy.

Well, I sure never thought I'd have any trouble with you.

Well, she cried all night. So did Mother.

So did I.

You must have had the wagon drenched.

You see, Major Adams,

if we all get married and leave,

Faith will be an old maid.

As long as we're together,

she's still just the oldest girl.

Well, I just can't get Faith and Mr. Dashwood together.

I think you can now.

Well, all right, I'll make one more try,

but this is absolutely the last.

Faith, will you please stop crying?

I've been such a fool!

Well, honey, you can't help that... you're a woman.

He'll never forgive me!

He'll forgive you or I'll tear him apart.

When he spoke to me that night, I was so...

And even after that he was still willing to help us.

When I saw him ride off like that to help Prudence,

after the way I treated him...

Honey, tell me one thing, will ya?

Just what was it that made you so mad at him in the first place?

I don't know.

You don't...

Isn't that strange? I don't know.

You don't know...

Oh, I swear...

Well, they're married.

Well, now what?

They're married!

Oh, Charlie. I...

Go get cleaned up!

Prudence was the matron of honor,

and following her came the brides...

Faith...

Hope...

and Charity.

I took no chances. I performed this ceremony myself.

And now,

by the authority vested in me as wagon master,

I pronounce you and each and every one of you

man and wife.

Thank you.

I crawled into bed

with the definite expectation of a good, peaceful sleep.

Now what is wrong?!

Oh, Major Adams,

I've lost my babies!

Mrs. Steele, you just absolutely flabbergast me.

That's because you've never been a mother, Major Adams,

you've never been a mother!

No, you're right, I haven't,

but tomorrow's another day.

Who knows what'll happen then?

Lookie there, Bill. She's gonna get him yet.

Hey, we better keep our eyes on him till we get to Sacramento.

Yeah, it's a good thing we know what to do.

We'll just keep that old gentleman on his feet

and keep him moving.

Good night, Mrs. Steele.

Good night, Major Adams.

You're right... Tomorrow is another day.

Yes.

Perhaps tomorrow.