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[SIREN WAILS, BELL CLANGS]
2
00:00:13,546 --> 00:00:16,893
♪ OH, WE'RE THE MEN
OF TEXACO ♪
♪ WE WORK FROM MAINE TO MEXICO ♪
3
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:17,627
OF TEXACO ♪
♪ WE WORK FROM MAINE TO MEXICO ♪
♪ THERE'S NOTHING
4
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:20,364
♪ WE WORK FROM MAINE TO MEXICO ♪
♪ THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE THIS TEXACO OF OURS ♪
5
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:22,099
♪ THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE THIS TEXACO OF OURS ♪
♪ OUR SHOW TONIGHT IS POWERFUL ♪
6
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:22,799
LIKE THIS TEXACO OF OURS ♪
♪ OUR SHOW TONIGHT IS POWERFUL ♪
♪ WE'LL WOW YOU
7
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,301
♪ OUR SHOW TONIGHT IS POWERFUL ♪
♪ WE'LL WOW YOU
WITH AN HOUR FULL OF HOWLS
8
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,970
♪ WE'LL WOW YOU
WITH AN HOUR FULL OF HOWLS
FROM A SHOWER FULL OF STARS ♪
9
00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:28,872
WITH AN HOUR FULL OF HOWLS
FROM A SHOWER FULL OF STARS ♪
♪ WE'RE THE MERRY TEXACO MEN ♪
10
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,573
FROM A SHOWER FULL OF STARS ♪
♪ WE'RE THE MERRY TEXACO MEN ♪
♪ TONIGHT WE MAY BE SHOWMEN ♪
11
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,275
♪ WE'RE THE MERRY TEXACO MEN ♪
♪ TONIGHT WE MAY BE SHOWMEN ♪
♪ TOMORROW WE'LL BE SERVICING
12
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:33,910
♪ TONIGHT WE MAY BE SHOWMEN ♪
♪ TOMORROW WE'LL BE SERVICING
YOUR CARS ♪
13
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:34,844
♪ TOMORROW WE'LL BE SERVICING
YOUR CARS ♪
♪ I WIPE THE PUMP ♪
14
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:35,678
YOUR CARS ♪
♪ I WIPE THE PUMP ♪
♪ I PUMP THE GAS ♪
15
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:36,480
♪ I WIPE THE PUMP ♪
♪ I PUMP THE GAS ♪
♪ I RUB THE HUB ♪
16
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:37,414
♪ I PUMP THE GAS ♪
♪ I RUB THE HUB ♪
♪ I SCRUB THE GLASS ♪
17
00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:38,281
♪ I RUB THE HUB ♪
♪ I SCRUB THE GLASS ♪
♪ I TOUCH THE CLUTCH ♪
18
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:39,116
♪ I SCRUB THE GLASS ♪
♪ I TOUCH THE CLUTCH ♪
♪ I POP THE TOP ♪
19
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:39,949
♪ I TOUCH THE CLUTCH ♪
♪ I POP THE TOP ♪
♪ I POKE THE CHOKE ♪
20
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:40,817
♪ I POP THE TOP ♪
♪ I POKE THE CHOKE ♪
♪ I SELL THE POP ♪
21
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:41,651
♪ I POKE THE CHOKE ♪
♪ I SELL THE POP ♪
♪ I CLEAR THE GEAR ♪
22
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:42,519
♪ I SELL THE POP ♪
♪ I CLEAR THE GEAR ♪
♪ I BLOCK THE KNOCK ♪
23
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,353
♪ I CLEAR THE GEAR ♪
♪ I BLOCK THE KNOCK ♪
♪ I JACK THE BACK ♪
24
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,187
♪ I BLOCK THE KNOCK ♪
♪ I JACK THE BACK ♪
♪ I SET THE CLOCK ♪
25
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,122
♪ I JACK THE BACK ♪
♪ I SET THE CLOCK ♪
♪ I SLASH THE TOP ♪
26
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:45,955
♪ I SET THE CLOCK ♪
♪ I SLASH THE TOP ♪
♪ I PICK THE LOCK ♪
27
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:46,756
♪ I SLASH THE TOP ♪
♪ I PICK THE LOCK ♪
♪ I TAKE YOUR CAR
28
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:47,657
♪ I PICK THE LOCK ♪
♪ I TAKE YOUR CAR
AROUND THE BLOCK ♪
29
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:48,525
♪ I TAKE YOUR CAR
AROUND THE BLOCK ♪
♪ I DRIVE IT FAST
30
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:49,359
AROUND THE BLOCK ♪
♪ I DRIVE IT FAST
AND SMOKE SOME GRASS ♪
31
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,160
♪ I DRIVE IT FAST
AND SMOKE SOME GRASS ♪
♪ IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,
32
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:50,793
AND SMOKE SOME GRASS ♪
♪ IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,
KISS MY... ♪
33
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,029
♪ IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,
KISS MY... ♪
♪ SKY CHIEF!
34
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:53,596
KISS MY... ♪
♪ SKY CHIEF!
♪ FILL UP WITH SKY CHIEF! ♪
35
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,432
♪ SKY CHIEF!
♪ FILL UP WITH SKY CHIEF! ♪
♪ AND YOU WILL SMILE AT THE PILE
36
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,467
♪ FILL UP WITH SKY CHIEF! ♪
♪ AND YOU WILL SMILE AT THE PILE
OF NEW MILES YOU WILL ADD ♪
37
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:58,635
♪ AND YOU WILL SMILE AT THE PILE
OF NEW MILES YOU WILL ADD ♪
♪ FIRE CHIEF! ♪
38
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,437
OF NEW MILES YOU WILL ADD ♪
♪ FIRE CHIEF! ♪
♪ FILL UP WITH FIRE CHIEF! ♪
39
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:01,604
♪ FIRE CHIEF! ♪
♪ FILL UP WITH FIRE CHIEF! ♪
♪ YOU'LL FIND THAT TEXACO'S
40
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:02,506
♪ FILL UP WITH FIRE CHIEF! ♪
♪ YOU'LL FIND THAT TEXACO'S
THE FINEST BRAND
41
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,508
♪ YOU'LL FIND THAT TEXACO'S
THE FINEST BRAND
YOUR CAR HAS EVER HAD ♪
42
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:05,975
THE FINEST BRAND
YOUR CAR HAS EVER HAD ♪
AND NOW, LADIES AND
43
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,344
YOUR CAR HAS EVER HAD ♪
AND NOW, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN...
44
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,479
AND NOW, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN...
LIVE FROM NEW YORK,
45
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:12,204
GENTLEMEN...
LIVE FROM NEW YORK,
IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"!
46
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:25,016
Announcer: IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."
47
00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:31,856
WITH MILTON BERLE.
48
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:47,065
STARRING DAN AYKROYD...
JOHN BELUSHI...
JANE CURTIN...
49
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:57,760
JOHN BELUSHI...
JANE CURTIN...
GARRETT MORRIS...
50
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:01,598
JANE CURTIN...
GARRETT MORRIS...
BILL MURRAY...
51
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,435
GARRETT MORRIS...
BILL MURRAY...
LARAINE NEWMAN...
52
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,892
BILL MURRAY...
LARAINE NEWMAN...
AND GILDA RADNER.
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00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:21,466
WITH MUSICAL GUEST,
ORNETTE COLEMAN AND PRIME TIME.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
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00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,386
ORNETTE COLEMAN AND PRIME TIME.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MR. TELEVISION HIMSELF,
55
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,922
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MR. TELEVISION HIMSELF,
MILTON BERLE!
56
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,713
MR. TELEVISION HIMSELF,
MILTON BERLE!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:38,801
OH, BOY, LOOK AT THIS.
LOVE YOU.
YOU LOVE ME.
58
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,403
LOVE YOU.
YOU LOVE ME.
YOU LOVE ME.
59
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:41,838
YOU LOVE ME.
YOU LOVE ME.
HOW ABOUT THIS, HUH?
60
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,573
YOU LOVE ME.
HOW ABOUT THIS, HUH?
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
61
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:44,707
HOW ABOUT THIS, HUH?
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
YOU WANT ME.
62
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:45,842
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
YOU WANT ME.
YOU LOVE ME.
63
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,244
YOU WANT ME.
YOU LOVE ME.
I THINK I'LL QUIT RIGHT NOW.
64
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:48,645
YOU LOVE ME.
I THINK I'LL QUIT RIGHT NOW.
I THINK THIS IS A LITTLE TOO
65
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,012
I THINK I'LL QUIT RIGHT NOW.
I THINK THIS IS A LITTLE TOO
BIG.
66
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,113
I THINK THIS IS A LITTLE TOO
BIG.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
67
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,781
BIG.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
LET'S HEAR IT... HOLD IT, FOLKS.
68
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:52,882
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
LET'S HEAR IT... HOLD IT, FOLKS.
PLEASE.
69
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:55,785
LET'S HEAR IT... HOLD IT, FOLKS.
PLEASE.
WE ONLY GOT 90 MINUTES.
70
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,220
PLEASE.
WE ONLY GOT 90 MINUTES.
THE FOLKS ON THE SHOW... HOLD
71
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:57,920
WE ONLY GOT 90 MINUTES.
THE FOLKS ON THE SHOW... HOLD
IT, PLEASE.
72
00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:59,489
THE FOLKS ON THE SHOW... HOLD
IT, PLEASE.
LET'S HEAR IT FOR LEE MARVIN AND
73
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,757
IT, PLEASE.
LET'S HEAR IT FOR LEE MARVIN AND
HIS WITNESSES, LADIES AND
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00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:01,391
LET'S HEAR IT FOR LEE MARVIN AND
HIS WITNESSES, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
75
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:02,526
HIS WITNESSES, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
[LAUGHTER]
76
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,460
GENTLEMEN.
[LAUGHTER]
TAKE A BOW.
77
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:04,594
[LAUGHTER]
TAKE A BOW.
LOVELY OUTFIT.
78
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,463
TAKE A BOW.
LOVELY OUTFIT.
YOU ALWAYS DRESS THIS CLASSY?
79
00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:08,064
LOVELY OUTFIT.
YOU ALWAYS DRESS THIS CLASSY?
NOW, I DON'T FEEL MUCH LIKE
80
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:08,698
YOU ALWAYS DRESS THIS CLASSY?
NOW, I DON'T FEEL MUCH LIKE
WORKING.
81
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:09,699
NOW, I DON'T FEEL MUCH LIKE
WORKING.
I GOT BAD NEWS.
82
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,368
WORKING.
I GOT BAD NEWS.
MY WIFE RAN AWAY WITH MY BEST
83
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,068
I GOT BAD NEWS.
MY WIFE RAN AWAY WITH MY BEST
FRIEND...
84
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,503
MY WIFE RAN AWAY WITH MY BEST
FRIEND...
AND I MISS HIM.
85
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,904
FRIEND...
AND I MISS HIM.
[LAUGHTER]
86
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,339
AND I MISS HIM.
[LAUGHTER]
I'M UNLUCKY.
87
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,440
[LAUGHTER]
I'M UNLUCKY.
I'LL SHOW YOU...
88
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,309
I'M UNLUCKY.
I'LL SHOW YOU...
I'M SO UNLUCKY, IF THEY SAWED A
89
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,211
I'LL SHOW YOU...
I'M SO UNLUCKY, IF THEY SAWED A
WOMAN IN HALF, I'D GET THE PART
90
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:21,978
I'M SO UNLUCKY, IF THEY SAWED A
WOMAN IN HALF, I'D GET THE PART
THAT EATS.
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00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,446
WOMAN IN HALF, I'D GET THE PART
THAT EATS.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT?
92
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,414
THAT EATS.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT?
I'M GOING BAD.
93
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,582
WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT?
I'M GOING BAD.
I'M A REAL LOSER.
94
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,184
I'M GOING BAD.
I'M A REAL LOSER.
LAST NIGHT, FOR EXAMPLE, I
95
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,818
I'M A REAL LOSER.
LAST NIGHT, FOR EXAMPLE, I
DREAMT... WHAT SHOW ARE YOU
96
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,220
LAST NIGHT, FOR EXAMPLE, I
DREAMT... WHAT SHOW ARE YOU
WORKING ON BACK THERE?
97
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:31,921
DREAMT... WHAT SHOW ARE YOU
WORKING ON BACK THERE?
IT'S THE BLACK GUY, HUH?
98
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,256
WORKING ON BACK THERE?
IT'S THE BLACK GUY, HUH?
YOU'RE LUCKY, PAL.
99
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,358
IT'S THE BLACK GUY, HUH?
YOU'RE LUCKY, PAL.
YOU CAN WALK HOME ALONE AT 3:00
100
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,526
YOU'RE LUCKY, PAL.
YOU CAN WALK HOME ALONE AT 3:00
IN THE MORNING.
101
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,563
YOU CAN WALK HOME ALONE AT 3:00
IN THE MORNING.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
102
00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:41,531
IN THE MORNING.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
WOULD YOU LAUGH AT THE REAL
103
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,131
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
WOULD YOU LAUGH AT THE REAL
JOKE?
104
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,633
WOULD YOU LAUGH AT THE REAL
JOKE?
NO, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW BAD I'M
105
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:44,100
JOKE?
NO, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW BAD I'M
GOING.
106
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,202
NO, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW BAD I'M
GOING.
LAST NIGHT, I DREAMT
107
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,836
GOING.
LAST NIGHT, I DREAMT
DOLLY PARTON WAS MY MOTHER, AND
108
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:47,937
LAST NIGHT, I DREAMT
DOLLY PARTON WAS MY MOTHER, AND
I WAS A BOTTLE BABY.
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00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,239
DOLLY PARTON WAS MY MOTHER, AND
I WAS A BOTTLE BABY.
THAT'S HOW BAD.
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00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,374
I WAS A BOTTLE BABY.
THAT'S HOW BAD.
OH, BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER,
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00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,209
THAT'S HOW BAD.
OH, BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER,
HOLD IT.
112
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,311
OH, BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER,
HOLD IT.
A FLASH JUST CAME OVER THE AIR.
113
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,279
HOLD IT.
A FLASH JUST CAME OVER THE AIR.
FORTY-FOUR PUERTO RICANS IN A
114
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:56,946
A FLASH JUST CAME OVER THE AIR.
FORTY-FOUR PUERTO RICANS IN A
CRASH.
115
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,047
FORTY-FOUR PUERTO RICANS IN A
CRASH.
THE BED BROKE.
116
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,450
CRASH.
THE BED BROKE.
JUST CAME OVER.
117
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:01,551
THE BED BROKE.
JUST CAME OVER.
BUT I... OOH.
118
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,520
JUST CAME OVER.
BUT I... OOH.
GOD, I GOT SO MUCH GAS, I'M
119
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,322
BUT I... OOH.
GOD, I GOT SO MUCH GAS, I'M
BEING FOLLOWED BY ARABS.
120
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:06,089
GOD, I GOT SO MUCH GAS, I'M
BEING FOLLOWED BY ARABS.
BUT THIS...
121
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,424
BEING FOLLOWED BY ARABS.
BUT THIS...
NO, I WANT TO TELL YOU.
122
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:08,891
BUT THIS...
NO, I WANT TO TELL YOU.
EVERYBODY LOOKS WONDERFUL.
123
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:09,859
NO, I WANT TO TELL YOU.
EVERYBODY LOOKS WONDERFUL.
I'M SORRY, SIR.
124
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,628
EVERYBODY LOOKS WONDERFUL.
I'M SORRY, SIR.
YOUR HEAD IS SHINING RIGHT IN MY
125
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,763
I'M SORRY, SIR.
YOUR HEAD IS SHINING RIGHT IN MY
EYES.
126
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,532
YOUR HEAD IS SHINING RIGHT IN MY
EYES.
FOR A MINUTE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
127
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:16,733
EYES.
FOR A MINUTE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
SITTING UPSIDE DOWN.
128
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:17,900
FOR A MINUTE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
SITTING UPSIDE DOWN.
BUT IT IS REALLY...
129
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,102
SITTING UPSIDE DOWN.
BUT IT IS REALLY...
NO, NO, I'M KIDDING.
130
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,537
BUT IT IS REALLY...
NO, NO, I'M KIDDING.
I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING.
131
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:21,170
NO, NO, I'M KIDDING.
I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING.
I'M KIDDING.
132
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,004
I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING.
I'M KIDDING.
IS THIS YOUR WIFE?
133
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:25,108
I'M KIDDING.
IS THIS YOUR WIFE?
OH, WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
134
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,009
IS THIS YOUR WIFE?
OH, WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
THIS OTHER COUPLE HERE LOOK
135
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,345
OH, WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
THIS OTHER COUPLE HERE LOOK
VERY, VERY SWEET.
136
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,079
THIS OTHER COUPLE HERE LOOK
VERY, VERY SWEET.
IS THIS YOUR WIFE, SIR?
137
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:30,913
VERY, VERY SWEET.
IS THIS YOUR WIFE, SIR?
OH, NO?
138
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,549
IS THIS YOUR WIFE, SIR?
OH, NO?
OH, MOTEL JOB, HUH?
139
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:33,650
OH, NO?
OH, MOTEL JOB, HUH?
OKAY, NOW...
140
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,685
OH, MOTEL JOB, HUH?
OKAY, NOW...
MOTEL SPELLED BACKWARDS...
141
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:36,686
OKAY, NOW...
MOTEL SPELLED BACKWARDS...
"LET 'OM."
142
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,521
MOTEL SPELLED BACKWARDS...
"LET 'OM."
[LAUGHTER]
143
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:39,989
"LET 'OM."
[LAUGHTER]
2, 3, 4...
144
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,725
[LAUGHTER]
2, 3, 4...
NO, SHE'S VERY PRETTY.
145
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,226
2, 3, 4...
NO, SHE'S VERY PRETTY.
SHE'S VERY PRETTY.
146
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,362
NO, SHE'S VERY PRETTY.
SHE'S VERY PRETTY.
YOU GOT ANY NUDE PICTURES OF
147
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:45,928
SHE'S VERY PRETTY.
YOU GOT ANY NUDE PICTURES OF
HER?
148
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,230
YOU GOT ANY NUDE PICTURES OF
HER?
NO?
149
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:48,632
HER?
NO?
WANT TO BUY SOME?
150
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,700
NO?
WANT TO BUY SOME?
[LAUGHTER]
151
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,135
WANT TO BUY SOME?
[LAUGHTER]
I SPEAK TO EVERYONE.
152
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,102
[LAUGHTER]
I SPEAK TO EVERYONE.
I REALLY DO.
153
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,837
I SPEAK TO EVERYONE.
I REALLY DO.
PULL UP YOUR DRESS, DEAR.
154
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,172
I REALLY DO.
PULL UP YOUR DRESS, DEAR.
GET YOUR BETS DOWN.
155
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,540
PULL UP YOUR DRESS, DEAR.
GET YOUR BETS DOWN.
THEY'RE COMING OUT.
156
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,743
GET YOUR BETS DOWN.
THEY'RE COMING OUT.
OH, GOD, I CAN'T WAIT TILL SHE
157
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:00,543
THEY'RE COMING OUT.
OH, GOD, I CAN'T WAIT TILL SHE
HICCUPS.
158
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:01,478
OH, GOD, I CAN'T WAIT TILL SHE
HICCUPS.
REMINDS ME.
159
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,647
HICCUPS.
REMINDS ME.
I GOT TO GET A NEW SET OF TIRES.
160
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,282
REMINDS ME.
I GOT TO GET A NEW SET OF TIRES.
BUT THIS, UH, REMINDS ME.
161
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:06,949
I GOT TO GET A NEW SET OF TIRES.
BUT THIS, UH, REMINDS ME.
I GOT A NEW SET OF TIRES.
162
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,918
BUT THIS, UH, REMINDS ME.
I GOT A NEW SET OF TIRES.
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE YOU MAY NOT
163
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:09,686
I GOT A NEW SET OF TIRES.
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE YOU MAY NOT
CARE FOR.
164
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,488
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE YOU MAY NOT
CARE FOR.
I HAVE A LOT OF THESE GEMS.
165
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:12,188
CARE FOR.
I HAVE A LOT OF THESE GEMS.
IT'S A GOOD AUDIENCE.
166
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:12,855
I HAVE A LOT OF THESE GEMS.
IT'S A GOOD AUDIENCE.
I'M REALLY THRILLED.
167
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,157
IT'S A GOOD AUDIENCE.
I'M REALLY THRILLED.
REALLY, I HAVEN'T BEEN SO
168
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,224
I'M REALLY THRILLED.
REALLY, I HAVEN'T BEEN SO
THRILLED SINCE I WON
169
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,660
REALLY, I HAVEN'T BEEN SO
THRILLED SINCE I WON
TRUMAN CAPOTE ON "THE DATING
170
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:17,126
THRILLED SINCE I WON
TRUMAN CAPOTE ON "THE DATING
GAME."
171
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,495
TRUMAN CAPOTE ON "THE DATING
GAME."
BUT THIS IS A GOOD AUDIENCE.
172
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:19,429
GAME."
BUT THIS IS A GOOD AUDIENCE.
I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
173
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,563
BUT THIS IS A GOOD AUDIENCE.
I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
BECAUSE IT'S SO YOUNG.
174
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:21,631
I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
BECAUSE IT'S SO YOUNG.
OH, SEE WHAT IT SAYS?
175
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,632
BECAUSE IT'S SO YOUNG.
OH, SEE WHAT IT SAYS?
"HI, UNCLE MILTIE."
176
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,000
OH, SEE WHAT IT SAYS?
"HI, UNCLE MILTIE."
LET ME SEE THAT, SIR.
177
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,902
"HI, UNCLE MILTIE."
LET ME SEE THAT, SIR.
GET OUT OF HERE, WILL YOU?
178
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,937
LET ME SEE THAT, SIR.
GET OUT OF HERE, WILL YOU?
I'D LIKE TO PUT MY FINGER IN
179
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,739
GET OUT OF HERE, WILL YOU?
I'D LIKE TO PUT MY FINGER IN
YOUR EAR AND GO BOWLING.
180
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,308
I'D LIKE TO PUT MY FINGER IN
YOUR EAR AND GO BOWLING.
[LAUGHTER]
181
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:32,909
YOUR EAR AND GO BOWLING.
[LAUGHTER]
YOU'RE PRETTY OLD TO COME TO
182
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,377
[LAUGHTER]
YOU'RE PRETTY OLD TO COME TO
THIS KIND OF A SHOW, PAL.
183
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:35,044
YOU'RE PRETTY OLD TO COME TO
THIS KIND OF A SHOW, PAL.
NO HAIR.
184
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,579
THIS KIND OF A SHOW, PAL.
NO HAIR.
LOOK AT THE YOUNG PEOPLE.
185
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,114
NO HAIR.
LOOK AT THE YOUNG PEOPLE.
THIS IS A YOUNG AUDIENCE.
186
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:39,449
LOOK AT THE YOUNG PEOPLE.
THIS IS A YOUNG AUDIENCE.
I WAS IN MIAMI BEACH.
187
00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,351
THIS IS A YOUNG AUDIENCE.
I WAS IN MIAMI BEACH.
I WAS IN MIAMI BEACH, AND... ARE
188
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,686
I WAS IN MIAMI BEACH.
I WAS IN MIAMI BEACH, AND... ARE
YOU FROM MIAMI BEACH?
189
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:43,152
I WAS IN MIAMI BEACH, AND... ARE
YOU FROM MIAMI BEACH?
OH.
190
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,854
YOU FROM MIAMI BEACH?
OH.
YOU HEARD THE APPLAUSE?
191
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:45,488
OH.
YOU HEARD THE APPLAUSE?
AND...
192
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,523
YOU HEARD THE APPLAUSE?
AND...
[LAUGHTER]
193
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:47,890
AND...
[LAUGHTER]
I WAS IN MIAMI BEACH.
194
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,759
[LAUGHTER]
I WAS IN MIAMI BEACH.
WE HAD AN AUDIENCE... NOT LIKE
195
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:50,293
I WAS IN MIAMI BEACH.
WE HAD AN AUDIENCE... NOT LIKE
THIS.
196
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:51,894
WE HAD AN AUDIENCE... NOT LIKE
THIS.
I SAID THE AVERAGE OF THE
197
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,596
THIS.
I SAID THE AVERAGE OF THE
AUDIENCE IN MIAMI BEACH WAS
198
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:54,331
I SAID THE AVERAGE OF THE
AUDIENCE IN MIAMI BEACH WAS
DECEASED.
199
00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:55,532
AUDIENCE IN MIAMI BEACH WAS
DECEASED.
[LAUGHTER]
200
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:56,833
DECEASED.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT I'M GLAD I'M BACK IN
201
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,501
[LAUGHTER]
BUT I'M GLAD I'M BACK IN
NEW YORK BECAUSE I LOVE IT HERE.
202
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,536
BUT I'M GLAD I'M BACK IN
NEW YORK BECAUSE I LOVE IT HERE.
YEAH, I REALLY DO.
203
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,837
NEW YORK BECAUSE I LOVE IT HERE.
YEAH, I REALLY DO.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
204
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:01,705
YEAH, I REALLY DO.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I REALLY.
205
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:02,706
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I REALLY.
NO, LISTEN.
206
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,106
I REALLY.
NO, LISTEN.
THIS IS THE TRUTH.
207
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,409
NO, LISTEN.
THIS IS THE TRUTH.
I HAVEN'T BEEN IN NEW YORK FOR A
208
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:07,310
THIS IS THE TRUTH.
I HAVEN'T BEEN IN NEW YORK FOR A
LONG TIME.
209
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:09,546
I HAVEN'T BEEN IN NEW YORK FOR A
LONG TIME.
THERE ARE SO MANY CHANGES HERE.
210
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,847
LONG TIME.
THERE ARE SO MANY CHANGES HERE.
FOR EXAMPLE, I WAS WALKING ON
211
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,081
THERE ARE SO MANY CHANGES HERE.
FOR EXAMPLE, I WAS WALKING ON
FIFTH AVENUE THE OTHER DAY.
212
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,450
FOR EXAMPLE, I WAS WALKING ON
FIFTH AVENUE THE OTHER DAY.
I SAW A GUY DRESSED VERY FUNNY.
213
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,451
FIFTH AVENUE THE OTHER DAY.
I SAW A GUY DRESSED VERY FUNNY.
I WALKED OVER TO HIM.
214
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:15,618
I SAW A GUY DRESSED VERY FUNNY.
I WALKED OVER TO HIM.
I SAID, "ARE YOU A JEHOVAH
215
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:16,152
I WALKED OVER TO HIM.
I SAID, "ARE YOU A JEHOVAH
WITNESS?"
216
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,554
I SAID, "ARE YOU A JEHOVAH
WITNESS?"
HE SAID, "I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE
217
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,120
WITNESS?"
HE SAID, "I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE
ACCIDENT."
218
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,589
HE SAID, "I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE
ACCIDENT."
"I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE
219
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:20,390
ACCIDENT."
"I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE
ACCIDENT."
220
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:21,725
"I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE
ACCIDENT."
[LAUGHTER]
221
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,192
ACCIDENT."
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT'D THE REST OF YOU THINK OF
222
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:23,560
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT'D THE REST OF YOU THINK OF
IT?
223
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:24,394
WHAT'D THE REST OF YOU THINK OF
IT?
[LAUGHTER]
224
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:25,562
IT?
[LAUGHTER]
I WANT TO TELL YOU.
225
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,330
[LAUGHTER]
I WANT TO TELL YOU.
YOU CAN'T GO OUT AT NIGHT HERE.
226
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:28,164
I WANT TO TELL YOU.
YOU CAN'T GO OUT AT NIGHT HERE.
IT'S MURDER.
227
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,599
YOU CAN'T GO OUT AT NIGHT HERE.
IT'S MURDER.
IF YOU GO OUT AT NIGHT TO BUY A
228
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,000
IT'S MURDER.
IF YOU GO OUT AT NIGHT TO BUY A
PAPER, THE NEXT MORNING, YOU'RE
229
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:31,434
IF YOU GO OUT AT NIGHT TO BUY A
PAPER, THE NEXT MORNING, YOU'RE
IN IT.
230
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,169
PAPER, THE NEXT MORNING, YOU'RE
IN IT.
[LAUGHTER]
231
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,405
IN IT.
[LAUGHTER]
WHICH JOKE ARE YOU WORKING ON?
232
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:36,973
[LAUGHTER]
WHICH JOKE ARE YOU WORKING ON?
I'M STAYING OVER HERE AT THE
233
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:37,774
WHICH JOKE ARE YOU WORKING ON?
I'M STAYING OVER HERE AT THE
ESSEX HOUSE.
234
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,008
I'M STAYING OVER HERE AT THE
ESSEX HOUSE.
THEY PUT ME OVER HER.
235
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,777
ESSEX HOUSE.
THEY PUT ME OVER HER.
LAST NIGHT, BY MISTAKE, I WALKED
236
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:41,878
THEY PUT ME OVER HER.
LAST NIGHT, BY MISTAKE, I WALKED
IN THE WRONG DOOR.
237
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,079
LAST NIGHT, BY MISTAKE, I WALKED
IN THE WRONG DOOR.
KNOCKED ON THE DOOR.
238
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,681
IN THE WRONG DOOR.
KNOCKED ON THE DOOR.
GIRL OPENED THE DOOR, AND SHE
239
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:45,482
KNOCKED ON THE DOOR.
GIRL OPENED THE DOOR, AND SHE
SAID, "YES?"
240
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:46,783
GIRL OPENED THE DOOR, AND SHE
SAID, "YES?"
I DIDN'T EVEN ASK HER.
241
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,251
SAID, "YES?"
I DIDN'T EVEN ASK HER.
[LAUGHTER]
242
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:49,986
I DIDN'T EVEN ASK HER.
[LAUGHTER]
NEXT DOOR TO MY ROOM MUST BE A
243
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,821
[LAUGHTER]
NEXT DOOR TO MY ROOM MUST BE A
HAWAIIAN HONEYMOON COUPLE 'CAUSE
244
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,623
NEXT DOOR TO MY ROOM MUST BE A
HAWAIIAN HONEYMOON COUPLE 'CAUSE
ALL NIGHT LONG I HEARD THE GIRL
245
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:54,758
HAWAIIAN HONEYMOON COUPLE 'CAUSE
ALL NIGHT LONG I HEARD THE GIRL
YELLING, "LOU-OW!"
246
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:58,327
ALL NIGHT LONG I HEARD THE GIRL
YELLING, "LOU-OW!"
[LAUGHTER]
247
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,363
YELLING, "LOU-OW!"
[LAUGHTER]
CAN I SEE YOUR LIBRARY CARDS
248
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:01,598
[LAUGHTER]
CAN I SEE YOUR LIBRARY CARDS
TONIGHT, PLEASE?
249
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:02,766
CAN I SEE YOUR LIBRARY CARDS
TONIGHT, PLEASE?
AND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MY ROOM
250
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:03,767
TONIGHT, PLEASE?
AND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MY ROOM
MUST BE A NEWLYWED COUPLE,
251
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:04,868
AND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MY ROOM
MUST BE A NEWLYWED COUPLE,
'CAUSE I HEARD THE HUSBAND SAY
252
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:05,402
MUST BE A NEWLYWED COUPLE,
'CAUSE I HEARD THE HUSBAND SAY
TO THE WIFE.
253
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,569
'CAUSE I HEARD THE HUSBAND SAY
TO THE WIFE.
HE SAID, "TELL ME, DARLING, AM I
254
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,203
TO THE WIFE.
HE SAID, "TELL ME, DARLING, AM I
THE FIRST ONE?"
255
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,638
HE SAID, "TELL ME, DARLING, AM I
THE FIRST ONE?"
SHE SAID, "WHY DOES EVERYBODY
256
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,006
THE FIRST ONE?"
SHE SAID, "WHY DOES EVERYBODY
ALWAYS KEEP ASKING ME THAT?"
257
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,508
SHE SAID, "WHY DOES EVERYBODY
ALWAYS KEEP ASKING ME THAT?"
BUT I LOVE IT HERE.
258
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,676
ALWAYS KEEP ASKING ME THAT?"
BUT I LOVE IT HERE.
I GOT MARRIED, BY THE WAY, AT
259
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,812
BUT I LOVE IT HERE.
I GOT MARRIED, BY THE WAY, AT
THE ESSEX HOUSE 25 YEARS AGO.
260
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,113
I GOT MARRIED, BY THE WAY, AT
THE ESSEX HOUSE 25 YEARS AGO.
THIS IS MY 25th ANNIVERSARY.
261
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,347
THE ESSEX HOUSE 25 YEARS AGO.
THIS IS MY 25th ANNIVERSARY.
LET'S HEAR IT OUT THERE, MY
262
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:18,748
THIS IS MY 25th ANNIVERSARY.
LET'S HEAR IT OUT THERE, MY
25th.
263
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,316
LET'S HEAR IT OUT THERE, MY
25th.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
264
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,351
25th.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS... IT'S THE
265
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,019
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS... IT'S THE
TRUTH.
266
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,054
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS... IT'S THE
TRUTH.
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS TO THE SAME
267
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:25,722
TRUTH.
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS TO THE SAME
WOMAN.
268
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,791
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS TO THE SAME
WOMAN.
I THINK THAT'S REMARKABLE, IN
269
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:28,925
WOMAN.
I THINK THAT'S REMARKABLE, IN
SHOW BUSINESS.
270
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,927
I THINK THAT'S REMARKABLE, IN
SHOW BUSINESS.
WHEN WE GOT MARRIED FIRST, MY
271
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,896
SHOW BUSINESS.
WHEN WE GOT MARRIED FIRST, MY
WIFE MUST HAVE THOUGHT I WAS
272
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:33,763
WHEN WE GOT MARRIED FIRST, MY
WIFE MUST HAVE THOUGHT I WAS
VERY SEXY.
273
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,364
WIFE MUST HAVE THOUGHT I WAS
VERY SEXY.
NOW SHE'S COMPLAINING.
274
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,133
VERY SEXY.
NOW SHE'S COMPLAINING.
WE WERE IN BED TOGETHER A COUPLE
275
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,468
NOW SHE'S COMPLAINING.
WE WERE IN BED TOGETHER A COUPLE
OF MONTHS AGO...
276
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,236
WE WERE IN BED TOGETHER A COUPLE
OF MONTHS AGO...
[LAUGHTER]
277
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,204
OF MONTHS AGO...
[LAUGHTER]
AND SHE SAID TO ME, "MILTON,
278
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:44,140
[LAUGHTER]
AND SHE SAID TO ME, "MILTON,
EVEN EGGS TAKE THREE MINUTES."
279
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,108
AND SHE SAID TO ME, "MILTON,
EVEN EGGS TAKE THREE MINUTES."
BUT, UH...
280
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,844
EVEN EGGS TAKE THREE MINUTES."
BUT, UH...
I TRY TO PLEASE HER.
281
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,413
BUT, UH...
I TRY TO PLEASE HER.
IN THE BEDROOM, I PUT UP MIRRORS
282
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,649
I TRY TO PLEASE HER.
IN THE BEDROOM, I PUT UP MIRRORS
ON THE WALL, MIRRORS ON THE
283
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:53,550
IN THE BEDROOM, I PUT UP MIRRORS
ON THE WALL, MIRRORS ON THE
CEILING.
284
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,518
ON THE WALL, MIRRORS ON THE
CEILING.
NOW I GOT 12 DIFFERENT VIEWS OF
285
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:56,486
CEILING.
NOW I GOT 12 DIFFERENT VIEWS OF
HER HEADACHE.
286
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,487
NOW I GOT 12 DIFFERENT VIEWS OF
HER HEADACHE.
[LAUGHTER]
287
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,522
HER HEADACHE.
[LAUGHTER]
THE KIDS DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT
288
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:00,156
[LAUGHTER]
THE KIDS DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT
STUFF.
289
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,157
THE KIDS DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT
STUFF.
OKAY, BUT...
290
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,525
STUFF.
OKAY, BUT...
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
291
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:03,827
OKAY, BUT...
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I WENT TO EXPENSE.
292
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,528
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I WENT TO EXPENSE.
I BOUGHT US A WATER BED, A
293
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:06,295
I WENT TO EXPENSE.
I BOUGHT US A WATER BED, A
WATER BED.
294
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,064
I BOUGHT US A WATER BED, A
WATER BED.
SHE CALLS IT THE DEAD SEA.
295
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,031
WATER BED.
SHE CALLS IT THE DEAD SEA.
[LAUGHTER]
296
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,299
SHE CALLS IT THE DEAD SEA.
[LAUGHTER]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I WAS
297
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,634
[LAUGHTER]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I WAS
ASKED BY THE PRODUCER OF THIS
298
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,234
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I WAS
ASKED BY THE PRODUCER OF THIS
SHOW TO...
299
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,970
ASKED BY THE PRODUCER OF THIS
SHOW TO...
[CLANGING]
300
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,473
SHOW TO...
[CLANGING]
WHAT THE HELL?
301
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:19,208
[CLANGING]
WHAT THE HELL?
NBC JUST DROPPED ANOTHER SHOW.
302
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,377
WHAT THE HELL?
NBC JUST DROPPED ANOTHER SHOW.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
303
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,913
NBC JUST DROPPED ANOTHER SHOW.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?
304
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,247
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?
OH, IT'S A LIVE SHOW.
305
00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:27,049
WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?
OH, IT'S A LIVE SHOW.
BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, I WAS
306
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,985
OH, IT'S A LIVE SHOW.
BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, I WAS
REQUESTED TO SAY BY THE PRODUCER
307
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,787
BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, I WAS
REQUESTED TO SAY BY THE PRODUCER
OF THE SHOW THAT THERE'S GONNA
308
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,589
REQUESTED TO SAY BY THE PRODUCER
OF THE SHOW THAT THERE'S GONNA
BE SOME GREAT HOSTS ON HERE IN
309
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,422
OF THE SHOW THAT THERE'S GONNA
BE SOME GREAT HOSTS ON HERE IN
THE FUTURE.
310
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:35,224
BE SOME GREAT HOSTS ON HERE IN
THE FUTURE.
GEORGE BURNS... THEY'RE TRYING
311
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:36,526
THE FUTURE.
GEORGE BURNS... THEY'RE TRYING
TO GET GEORGE BURNS.
312
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,560
GEORGE BURNS... THEY'RE TRYING
TO GET GEORGE BURNS.
HE'S GREAT.
313
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:39,696
TO GET GEORGE BURNS.
HE'S GREAT.
HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HE DID 40
314
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,097
HE'S GREAT.
HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HE DID 40
YEARS AGO... OLD.
315
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:42,665
HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HE DID 40
YEARS AGO... OLD.
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW OLD BURNS
316
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,900
YEARS AGO... OLD.
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW OLD BURNS
IS, BUT I THINK HE WAS
317
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,502
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW OLD BURNS
IS, BUT I THINK HE WAS
CIRCUMCISED WITH A STONE KNIFE.
318
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,770
IS, BUT I THINK HE WAS
CIRCUMCISED WITH A STONE KNIFE.
[LAUGHTER]
319
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:49,405
CIRCUMCISED WITH A STONE KNIFE.
[LAUGHTER]
HE'S OLD, MAN.
320
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,207
[LAUGHTER]
HE'S OLD, MAN.
I'M TELLING YOU.
321
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,408
HE'S OLD, MAN.
I'M TELLING YOU.
OH, FORGET IT.
322
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:53,810
I'M TELLING YOU.
OH, FORGET IT.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
323
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:54,777
OH, FORGET IT.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
THAT'S IT?
324
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,145
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
THAT'S IT?
I'M ALL THROUGH?
325
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,113
THAT'S IT?
I'M ALL THROUGH?
THAT'S IT?
326
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,015
I'M ALL THROUGH?
THAT'S IT?
THE MONOLOGUE'S THROUGH?
327
00:08:59,039 --> 00:08:59,549
THAT'S IT?
THE MONOLOGUE'S THROUGH?
GOOD.
328
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,450
THE MONOLOGUE'S THROUGH?
GOOD.
I CAN CATCH "GILLIGAN'S ISLAND."
329
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,252
GOOD.
I CAN CATCH "GILLIGAN'S ISLAND."
[LAUGHTER]
330
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,988
I CAN CATCH "GILLIGAN'S ISLAND."
[LAUGHTER]
YOU MEAN, I DON'T DO ANY MORE
331
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:05,788
[LAUGHTER]
YOU MEAN, I DON'T DO ANY MORE
AFTER THIS?
332
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,323
YOU MEAN, I DON'T DO ANY MORE
AFTER THIS?
IT'S ONLY FIVE MINUTES.
333
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:09,058
AFTER THIS?
IT'S ONLY FIVE MINUTES.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
334
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,227
IT'S ONLY FIVE MINUTES.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I USUALLY BOW FOR 20.
335
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,562
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I USUALLY BOW FOR 20.
[LAUGHTER]
336
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,664
I USUALLY BOW FOR 20.
[LAUGHTER]
WELL, THAT'S THE MONOLOGUE.
337
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:15,798
[LAUGHTER]
WELL, THAT'S THE MONOLOGUE.
[CHUCKLES]
338
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:16,799
WELL, THAT'S THE MONOLOGUE.
[CHUCKLES]
THANK YOU.
339
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,434
[CHUCKLES]
THANK YOU.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
340
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,569
THANK YOU.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
341
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:20,202
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
FIVE MINUTES?
342
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,504
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
FIVE MINUTES?
I NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING IN
343
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,539
FIVE MINUTES?
I NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING IN
MY WHOLE LIFE!
344
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,963
I NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING IN
MY WHOLE LIFE!
FIVE MINUTES?!
345
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:32,203
COME ON, GINGER.
COME ON.
COME ON.
346
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:54,136
OH, BETTY, HONEY, YOU DIDN'T
HAVE TO GET UP YET.
WELL, BOB, I GOT TO GLAZE
347
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,272
HAVE TO GET UP YET.
WELL, BOB, I GOT TO GLAZE
THOSE TWO HAMS AND PUT THEM IN
348
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,608
WELL, BOB, I GOT TO GLAZE
THOSE TWO HAMS AND PUT THEM IN
THE OVEN.
349
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:00,276
THOSE TWO HAMS AND PUT THEM IN
THE OVEN.
YOU KNOW, WHEN THE WIDETTES GET
350
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,811
THE OVEN.
YOU KNOW, WHEN THE WIDETTES GET
TOGETHER FOR EASTER, THERE'S
351
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,345
YOU KNOW, WHEN THE WIDETTES GET
TOGETHER FOR EASTER, THERE'S
ALWAYS A LOT OF COOKING, YOU
352
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:03,813
TOGETHER FOR EASTER, THERE'S
ALWAYS A LOT OF COOKING, YOU
KNOW?
353
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:04,781
ALWAYS A LOT OF COOKING, YOU
KNOW?
UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
354
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:05,949
KNOW?
UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
WHERE'S UNCLE WAYNE?
355
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,483
UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
WHERE'S UNCLE WAYNE?
THE EASTER BUNNY SHOULD GET HERE
356
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:08,685
WHERE'S UNCLE WAYNE?
THE EASTER BUNNY SHOULD GET HERE
BEFORE THE KIDS WAKE UP.
357
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:09,619
THE EASTER BUNNY SHOULD GET HERE
BEFORE THE KIDS WAKE UP.
I DON'T KNOW.
358
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:10,954
BEFORE THE KIDS WAKE UP.
I DON'T KNOW.
HE USUALLY COMES IN, LETS
359
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,488
I DON'T KNOW.
HE USUALLY COMES IN, LETS
HIMSELF IN, HIDES ALL THE EGGS
360
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:13,422
HE USUALLY COMES IN, LETS
HIMSELF IN, HIDES ALL THE EGGS
BEFORE WE'RE UP.
361
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,057
HIMSELF IN, HIDES ALL THE EGGS
BEFORE WE'RE UP.
I DON'T KNOW.
362
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:14,958
BEFORE WE'RE UP.
I DON'T KNOW.
HE'S GONNA BE PRETTY
363
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,258
I DON'T KNOW.
HE'S GONNA BE PRETTY
DISAPPOINTED IF THE KIDS ARE UP
364
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,493
HE'S GONNA BE PRETTY
DISAPPOINTED IF THE KIDS ARE UP
BEFORE HE GETS HERE AND HIDES
365
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:17,994
DISAPPOINTED IF THE KIDS ARE UP
BEFORE HE GETS HERE AND HIDES
THE EGGS.
366
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,528
BEFORE HE GETS HERE AND HIDES
THE EGGS.
WELL, I'LL START BREAKFAST.
367
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:20,930
THE EGGS.
WELL, I'LL START BREAKFAST.
YOU WANT PANCAKES OR FRENCH
368
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:21,397
WELL, I'LL START BREAKFAST.
YOU WANT PANCAKES OR FRENCH
TOAST?
369
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,632
YOU WANT PANCAKES OR FRENCH
TOAST?
I THINK I'LL JUST HAVE SOME
370
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:23,733
TOAST?
I THINK I'LL JUST HAVE SOME
COFFEE RINGS AND SOME HOME
371
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:24,133
I THINK I'LL JUST HAVE SOME
COFFEE RINGS AND SOME HOME
FRIES.
372
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,925
COFFEE RINGS AND SOME HOME
FRIES.
OKAY.
373
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:35,277
WELL, IT SAYS HERE IN THE
PAPER THEY HAVEN'T FOUND ANY
RADIATION IN HERSHEY BARS.
374
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,580
PAPER THEY HAVEN'T FOUND ANY
RADIATION IN HERSHEY BARS.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
375
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:44,153
RADIATION IN HERSHEY BARS.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
THAT'S PROBABLY UNCLE WAYNE.
376
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,755
[DOORBELL RINGS]
THAT'S PROBABLY UNCLE WAYNE.
HELLO, UNCLE WAYNE.
377
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,019
THAT'S PROBABLY UNCLE WAYNE.
HELLO, UNCLE WAYNE.
HELLO.
378
00:10:52,584 --> 00:10:56,432
HOW YOU DOING?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
I'M SORRY I WAS LATE.
379
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,300
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
I'M SORRY I WAS LATE.
YOU SEE, WHEN I WAS WALKING OUT
380
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,269
I'M SORRY I WAS LATE.
YOU SEE, WHEN I WAS WALKING OUT
OF THE SUPERMARKET, THE SECURITY
381
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,403
YOU SEE, WHEN I WAS WALKING OUT
OF THE SUPERMARKET, THE SECURITY
GUARD STOPPED ME.
382
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:02,204
OF THE SUPERMARKET, THE SECURITY
GUARD STOPPED ME.
OH, NO.
383
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:03,940
GUARD STOPPED ME.
OH, NO.
HE THOUGHT I WAS SHOPLIFTING.
384
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,174
OH, NO.
HE THOUGHT I WAS SHOPLIFTING.
IMAGINE THAT.
385
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,343
HE THOUGHT I WAS SHOPLIFTING.
IMAGINE THAT.
WELL, I'M NOT GONNA LET THAT
386
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,577
IMAGINE THAT.
WELL, I'M NOT GONNA LET THAT
SPOIL MY EASTER.
387
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,179
WELL, I'M NOT GONNA LET THAT
SPOIL MY EASTER.
TAMMY AND JEFF UP YET?
388
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:10,713
SPOIL MY EASTER.
TAMMY AND JEFF UP YET?
OH, NO.
389
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:12,048
TAMMY AND JEFF UP YET?
OH, NO.
WELL, YOU BETTER HURRY AND HIDE
390
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,415
OH, NO.
WELL, YOU BETTER HURRY AND HIDE
THE EGGS, 'CAUSE WHEN THEY GET A
391
00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:14,684
WELL, YOU BETTER HURRY AND HIDE
THE EGGS, 'CAUSE WHEN THEY GET A
WHIFF OF BREAKFAST, THEY'LL BE
392
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:15,384
THE EGGS, 'CAUSE WHEN THEY GET A
WHIFF OF BREAKFAST, THEY'LL BE
UP LIKE CRAZY.
393
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:16,719
WHIFF OF BREAKFAST, THEY'LL BE
UP LIKE CRAZY.
YOU TAKE SOME EGGS, AND I'LL
394
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:17,453
UP LIKE CRAZY.
YOU TAKE SOME EGGS, AND I'LL
TAKE SOME EGGS.
395
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:18,121
YOU TAKE SOME EGGS, AND I'LL
TAKE SOME EGGS.
ALL RIGHT.
396
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:19,288
TAKE SOME EGGS.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S START HIDING THEM.
397
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,123
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S START HIDING THEM.
I LOVE TO DO THIS!
398
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,814
LET'S START HIDING THEM.
I LOVE TO DO THIS!
HA HA!
399
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:35,271
OH, YOU GOT?
TAMMY NEVER LOOKS OVER HERE.
PUT IT OVER HERE.
400
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,806
TAMMY NEVER LOOKS OVER HERE.
PUT IT OVER HERE.
THAT'S FINE.
401
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:41,010
PUT IT OVER HERE.
THAT'S FINE.
I'LL PUT SOME OVER HERE.
402
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,779
THAT'S FINE.
I'LL PUT SOME OVER HERE.
EXCUSE ME, WAYNE.
403
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:43,846
I'LL PUT SOME OVER HERE.
EXCUSE ME, WAYNE.
I'M SORRY.
404
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,214
EXCUSE ME, WAYNE.
I'M SORRY.
ALL RIGHT.
405
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,382
I'M SORRY.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT!
406
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,083
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT!
THERE, THERE.
407
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,517
ALL RIGHT!
THERE, THERE.
OH, BOY, THE KIDS SHOULD HAVE
408
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,518
THERE, THERE.
OH, BOY, THE KIDS SHOULD HAVE
A BALL WITH THIS ONE.
409
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,820
OH, BOY, THE KIDS SHOULD HAVE
A BALL WITH THIS ONE.
YEAH, NOW WE GOT IT ALL...
410
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,889
A BALL WITH THIS ONE.
YEAH, NOW WE GOT IT ALL...
OH, IF IT ISN'T THE EASTER
411
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:53,556
YEAH, NOW WE GOT IT ALL...
OH, IF IT ISN'T THE EASTER
BUNNY!
412
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,825
OH, IF IT ISN'T THE EASTER
BUNNY!
HOW IS MY GORGEOUS NIECE?
413
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,359
BUNNY!
HOW IS MY GORGEOUS NIECE?
HONEST TO GOD, BOB, I WANT TO
414
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,427
HOW IS MY GORGEOUS NIECE?
HONEST TO GOD, BOB, I WANT TO
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
415
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,129
HONEST TO GOD, BOB, I WANT TO
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU SNAGGED
416
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:00,629
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU SNAGGED
HER.
417
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,331
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU SNAGGED
HER.
OH, UNCLE WAYNE, STOP IT.
418
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,100
HER.
OH, UNCLE WAYNE, STOP IT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, STOP IT?
419
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,968
OH, UNCLE WAYNE, STOP IT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, STOP IT?
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU NEVER
420
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,804
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, STOP IT?
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU NEVER
LET ANY GIRL LATCH ONTO YOU.
421
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,872
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU NEVER
LET ANY GIRL LATCH ONTO YOU.
WELL, IF THEY EVER MAKE A GAL
422
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,741
LET ANY GIRL LATCH ONTO YOU.
WELL, IF THEY EVER MAKE A GAL
LIKE YOU OUT OF THE SAME MOLD
423
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,776
WELL, IF THEY EVER MAKE A GAL
LIKE YOU OUT OF THE SAME MOLD
THAT YOU CAME FROM, I'LL BE SURE
424
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,011
LIKE YOU OUT OF THE SAME MOLD
THAT YOU CAME FROM, I'LL BE SURE
TO GRAB ONTO HER.
425
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,946
THAT YOU CAME FROM, I'LL BE SURE
TO GRAB ONTO HER.
OH.
426
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,114
TO GRAB ONTO HER.
OH.
[YAWNS]
427
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:21,417
OH.
[YAWNS]
IS THE EASTER BUNNY HERE YET?
428
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,920
[YAWNS]
IS THE EASTER BUNNY HERE YET?
OH!
429
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,922
IS THE EASTER BUNNY HERE YET?
OH!
HI, UNCLE WAYNE!
430
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,957
OH!
HI, UNCLE WAYNE!
HI YA, TAMMY.
431
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,258
HI, UNCLE WAYNE!
HI YA, TAMMY.
COME HERE, BABY.
432
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,894
HI YA, TAMMY.
COME HERE, BABY.
COME OVER HERE.
433
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,029
COME HERE, BABY.
COME OVER HERE.
OH, DARLING.
434
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,397
COME OVER HERE.
OH, DARLING.
TAMMY, I THINK I SAW THE EASTER
435
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,800
OH, DARLING.
TAMMY, I THINK I SAW THE EASTER
BUNNY HOPPING DOWN THE ROAD WHEN
436
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:38,868
TAMMY, I THINK I SAW THE EASTER
BUNNY HOPPING DOWN THE ROAD WHEN
I DROVE UP.
437
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,970
BUNNY HOPPING DOWN THE ROAD WHEN
I DROVE UP.
OH, BOY!
438
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,038
I DROVE UP.
OH, BOY!
NOW, TAMMY, NO, NO, NO.
439
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,039
OH, BOY!
NOW, TAMMY, NO, NO, NO.
YOU GOT TO WAIT TILL YOUR
440
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,006
NOW, TAMMY, NO, NO, NO.
YOU GOT TO WAIT TILL YOUR
BROTHER, JEFF, GETS UP.
441
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:44,573
YOU GOT TO WAIT TILL YOUR
BROTHER, JEFF, GETS UP.
NOW COME ON.
442
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,075
BROTHER, JEFF, GETS UP.
NOW COME ON.
OH, WELL, HE'LL NEVER WAKE
443
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:46,442
NOW COME ON.
OH, WELL, HE'LL NEVER WAKE
UP.
444
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:47,710
OH, WELL, HE'LL NEVER WAKE
UP.
YOUR FATHER'S RIGHT,
445
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:48,410
UP.
YOUR FATHER'S RIGHT,
SWEETHEART.
446
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,647
YOUR FATHER'S RIGHT,
SWEETHEART.
OKAY.
447
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:52,314
SWEETHEART.
OKAY.
JEFF!
448
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:53,816
OKAY.
JEFF!
WOULD YOU WAKE UP?
449
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,752
JEFF!
WOULD YOU WAKE UP?
UNCLE WAYNE'S DOWN HERE.
450
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,454
WOULD YOU WAKE UP?
UNCLE WAYNE'S DOWN HERE.
OH, LET ME SLEEP FIVE MORE
451
00:12:58,478 --> 00:12:59,421
UNCLE WAYNE'S DOWN HERE.
OH, LET ME SLEEP FIVE MORE
MINUTES.
452
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,089
OH, LET ME SLEEP FIVE MORE
MINUTES.
OH!
453
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,924
MINUTES.
OH!
I'LL WAKE UP OUR LITTLE
454
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,026
OH!
I'LL WAKE UP OUR LITTLE
SLEEPYHEAD WITH A LITTLE FOOD.
455
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,728
I'LL WAKE UP OUR LITTLE
SLEEPYHEAD WITH A LITTLE FOOD.
HERSHEY BARS NOT RADIOACTIVE.
456
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:06,495
SLEEPYHEAD WITH A LITTLE FOOD.
HERSHEY BARS NOT RADIOACTIVE.
THAT'S GOOD.
457
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:07,263
HERSHEY BARS NOT RADIOACTIVE.
THAT'S GOOD.
TAMMY?
458
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,998
THAT'S GOOD.
TAMMY?
BABY, COME OVER HERE WHILE
459
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,033
TAMMY?
BABY, COME OVER HERE WHILE
YOU'RE WAITING FOR YOUR BROTHER.
460
00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:11,768
BABY, COME OVER HERE WHILE
YOU'RE WAITING FOR YOUR BROTHER.
OKAY.
461
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,770
YOU'RE WAITING FOR YOUR BROTHER.
OKAY.
WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN ON OLD
462
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,037
OKAY.
WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN ON OLD
UNCLE WAYNE'S LAP?
463
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:20,943
WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN ON OLD
UNCLE WAYNE'S LAP?
ALL RIGHT!
464
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:21,811
UNCLE WAYNE'S LAP?
ALL RIGHT!
HEH HEH.
465
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,312
ALL RIGHT!
HEH HEH.
YOU'RE A BIG GIRL NOW.
466
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,347
HEH HEH.
YOU'RE A BIG GIRL NOW.
REMEMBER WHEN TAMMY WAS FIRST
467
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:26,983
YOU'RE A BIG GIRL NOW.
REMEMBER WHEN TAMMY WAS FIRST
BORN, YOU'D COME OVER AND
468
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,084
REMEMBER WHEN TAMMY WAS FIRST
BORN, YOU'D COME OVER AND
BABYSIT, WAYNE?
469
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,418
BORN, YOU'D COME OVER AND
BABYSIT, WAYNE?
OH, GOSH, YES.
470
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,519
BABYSIT, WAYNE?
OH, GOSH, YES.
YOU AND JEFF.
471
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,354
OH, GOSH, YES.
YOU AND JEFF.
YOU'D GO THROUGH 20 OR 30
472
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:35,124
YOU AND JEFF.
YOU'D GO THROUGH 20 OR 30
DIAPERS A DAY.
473
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,593
YOU'D GO THROUGH 20 OR 30
DIAPERS A DAY.
JEFFY WILL BE RIGHT DOWN.
474
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:38,261
DIAPERS A DAY.
JEFFY WILL BE RIGHT DOWN.
YEAH.
475
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:39,662
JEFFY WILL BE RIGHT DOWN.
YEAH.
IT WON'T BE LONG NOW,
476
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:40,496
YEAH.
IT WON'T BE LONG NOW,
SWEETHEART.
477
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,965
IT WON'T BE LONG NOW,
SWEETHEART.
MAYBE YOU'D BETTER GET OFF YOUR
478
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,566
SWEETHEART.
MAYBE YOU'D BETTER GET OFF YOUR
UNCLE WAYNE'S LAP.
479
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:47,270
MAYBE YOU'D BETTER GET OFF YOUR
UNCLE WAYNE'S LAP.
MY SHOELACES ARE POPPING.
480
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,338
UNCLE WAYNE'S LAP.
MY SHOELACES ARE POPPING.
HI, UNCLE WAYNE.
481
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,796
MY SHOELACES ARE POPPING.
HI, UNCLE WAYNE.
OH.
482
00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:09,391
SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.
GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING.
JEFF, LET ME TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT
483
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:10,026
GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING.
JEFF, LET ME TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT
YOU.
484
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:10,559
JEFF, LET ME TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT
YOU.
OKAY.
485
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,995
YOU.
OKAY.
UGH!
486
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,596
OKAY.
UGH!
YOU KNOW, I THINK I SAW THE
487
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,299
UGH!
YOU KNOW, I THINK I SAW THE
EASTER BUNNY HOPPING DOWN THE
488
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:16,899
YOU KNOW, I THINK I SAW THE
EASTER BUNNY HOPPING DOWN THE
STREET.
489
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,701
EASTER BUNNY HOPPING DOWN THE
STREET.
WHEN I GOT HERE, HE WAS HOPPING
490
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:19,735
STREET.
WHEN I GOT HERE, HE WAS HOPPING
DOWN THE STREET.
491
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:20,803
WHEN I GOT HERE, HE WAS HOPPING
DOWN THE STREET.
OH, FANTASTIC.
492
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,571
DOWN THE STREET.
OH, FANTASTIC.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, EVERYBODY.
493
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:23,639
OH, FANTASTIC.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, EVERYBODY.
NOW WE'RE GOING TO GET SOME
494
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:24,273
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, EVERYBODY.
NOW WE'RE GOING TO GET SOME
PICTURES HERE.
495
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,641
NOW WE'RE GOING TO GET SOME
PICTURES HERE.
PICTURES!
496
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:26,108
PICTURES HERE.
PICTURES!
YEP.
497
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:27,310
PICTURES!
YEP.
I WANT THE TWO OF YOU WITH
498
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:28,744
YEP.
I WANT THE TWO OF YOU WITH
UNCLE WAYNE, AND, HONEY, YOU GET
499
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:29,611
I WANT THE TWO OF YOU WITH
UNCLE WAYNE, AND, HONEY, YOU GET
IN THE BACK, TOO.
500
00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:30,412
UNCLE WAYNE, AND, HONEY, YOU GET
IN THE BACK, TOO.
COME ON, MOM.
501
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:32,614
IN THE BACK, TOO.
COME ON, MOM.
GET IN HERE.
502
00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:34,083
COME ON, MOM.
GET IN HERE.
SQUISH DOWN, KIDS.
503
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,385
GET IN HERE.
SQUISH DOWN, KIDS.
NOW, TAMMY, JEFF, IN CLOSER
504
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,553
SQUISH DOWN, KIDS.
NOW, TAMMY, JEFF, IN CLOSER
TO WAYNE NOW.
505
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:38,721
NOW, TAMMY, JEFF, IN CLOSER
TO WAYNE NOW.
AND DOWN A LITTLE.
506
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:39,421
TO WAYNE NOW.
AND DOWN A LITTLE.
OKAY.
507
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,557
AND DOWN A LITTLE.
OKAY.
EVERYBODY, NOW WAVE TO THE
508
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:42,391
OKAY.
EVERYBODY, NOW WAVE TO THE
CAMERA.
509
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,060
EVERYBODY, NOW WAVE TO THE
CAMERA.
I'LL START THE EASTER-EGG HUNT.
510
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,494
CAMERA.
I'LL START THE EASTER-EGG HUNT.
START THE HUNT NOW.
511
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:46,495
I'LL START THE EASTER-EGG HUNT.
START THE HUNT NOW.
[ALL CLAMORING]
512
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:47,830
START THE HUNT NOW.
[ALL CLAMORING]
START THE HUNT.
513
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:48,998
[ALL CLAMORING]
START THE HUNT.
START THE HUNT.
514
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:49,899
START THE HUNT.
START THE HUNT.
THAT'S IT.
515
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,300
START THE HUNT.
THAT'S IT.
LOOK FOR THE HUNT.
516
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:54,103
THAT'S IT.
LOOK FOR THE HUNT.
THAT'S IT.
517
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,005
LOOK FOR THE HUNT.
THAT'S IT.
I FOUND ONE!
518
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,606
THAT'S IT.
I FOUND ONE!
I FOUND ONE!
519
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:58,241
I FOUND ONE!
I FOUND ONE!
I GOT ONE!
520
00:14:58,265 --> 00:14:58,807
I FOUND ONE!
I GOT ONE!
GIVE ME THAT!
521
00:14:58,831 --> 00:14:59,708
I GOT ONE!
GIVE ME THAT!
NO!
522
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:00,442
GIVE ME THAT!
NO!
NOW, NO FIGHTING.
523
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,478
NO!
NOW, NO FIGHTING.
NO FIGHTING.
524
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,614
NOW, NO FIGHTING.
NO FIGHTING.
NO FIGHTING.
525
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,850
NO FIGHTING.
NO FIGHTING.
HEY!
526
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,919
NO FIGHTING.
HEY!
FOUL, FOUL, FOUL!
527
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,153
HEY!
FOUL, FOUL, FOUL!
STOP IT!
528
00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:14,056
FOUL, FOUL, FOUL!
STOP IT!
THERE'S PLENTY MORE, JEFF.
529
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,259
STOP IT!
THERE'S PLENTY MORE, JEFF.
NOW, ROBERT, GET THIS ALL ON
530
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,527
THERE'S PLENTY MORE, JEFF.
NOW, ROBERT, GET THIS ALL ON
FILM AND BE SURE TO GIVE ME A
531
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:19,195
NOW, ROBERT, GET THIS ALL ON
FILM AND BE SURE TO GIVE ME A
COPY.
532
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,563
FILM AND BE SURE TO GIVE ME A
COPY.
I NEVER SAW LAST YEAR'S MOVIES.
533
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,899
COPY.
I NEVER SAW LAST YEAR'S MOVIES.
WELL, I GOT THE PROJECTOR ALL
534
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:23,465
I NEVER SAW LAST YEAR'S MOVIES.
WELL, I GOT THE PROJECTOR ALL
LOADED UP.
535
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:24,800
WELL, I GOT THE PROJECTOR ALL
LOADED UP.
I'LL SHOW YOU LAST YEAR'S RIGHT
536
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:25,634
LOADED UP.
I'LL SHOW YOU LAST YEAR'S RIGHT
HERE, UNCLE WAYNE.
537
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:26,635
I'LL SHOW YOU LAST YEAR'S RIGHT
HERE, UNCLE WAYNE.
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
538
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,137
HERE, UNCLE WAYNE.
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
YEAH, I GOT IT ALL LOADED UP
539
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:28,537
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
YEAH, I GOT IT ALL LOADED UP
HERE.
540
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:29,805
YEAH, I GOT IT ALL LOADED UP
HERE.
OKAY, WHO WANTS TO SEE THE
541
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:30,639
HERE.
OKAY, WHO WANTS TO SEE THE
EASTER-EGG HUNT?
542
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,573
OKAY, WHO WANTS TO SEE THE
EASTER-EGG HUNT?
ME!
543
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,277
EASTER-EGG HUNT?
ME!
OKAY, EVERYBODY SIT DOWN,
544
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,678
ME!
OKAY, EVERYBODY SIT DOWN,
EXCEPT YOU, UNCLE WAYNE.
545
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:39,662
OKAY, EVERYBODY SIT DOWN,
EXCEPT YOU, UNCLE WAYNE.
I DON'T HAVE A SCREEN.
546
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:49,280
COULD YOU...
WHAT?
COULD YOU TURN AROUND?
547
00:15:56,255 --> 00:16:04,255
AH... COULD YOU LIFT UP YOUR
COAT?
LIFT UP THE COAT?
548
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:08,044
COAT?
LIFT UP THE COAT?
♪ THE COAT IS UP ♪
549
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,179
LIFT UP THE COAT?
♪ THE COAT IS UP ♪
THERE YOU GO.
550
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,780
♪ THE COAT IS UP ♪
THERE YOU GO.
I CAN'T SEE.
551
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,349
THERE YOU GO.
I CAN'T SEE.
I CAN'T SEE IT!
552
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:14,984
I CAN'T SEE.
I CAN'T SEE IT!
I CAN'T SEE!
553
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:16,986
I CAN'T SEE IT!
I CAN'T SEE!
BUT I CAN'T SEE!
554
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,177
I CAN'T SEE!
BUT I CAN'T SEE!
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
555
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:37,239
I'M DON KIRSHNER AND WELCOME
TO "ROCK CONCERT."
I FIRST MET THE VILLAGE PERSONS
556
00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:39,976
TO "ROCK CONCERT."
I FIRST MET THE VILLAGE PERSONS
TWO YEARS AGO WHEN THEIR LEAD
557
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,544
I FIRST MET THE VILLAGE PERSONS
TWO YEARS AGO WHEN THEIR LEAD
SINGER, LYLE MANNING, PROVIDED
558
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,480
TWO YEARS AGO WHEN THEIR LEAD
SINGER, LYLE MANNING, PROVIDED
THE FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS FOR MY
559
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,416
SINGER, LYLE MANNING, PROVIDED
THE FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS FOR MY
DAUGHTER KAREN'S BAS MITZVAH.
560
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,651
THE FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS FOR MY
DAUGHTER KAREN'S BAS MITZVAH.
TODAY, THANKS TO THE BRILLIANT
561
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,187
DAUGHTER KAREN'S BAS MITZVAH.
TODAY, THANKS TO THE BRILLIANT
DISCO PRODUCTION OF
562
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,655
TODAY, THANKS TO THE BRILLIANT
DISCO PRODUCTION OF
GIORGIO MORALI AND TO THEIR
563
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:57,026
DISCO PRODUCTION OF
GIORGIO MORALI AND TO THEIR
MANAGER, MAURY MINEO, THEY HAVE
564
00:16:57,050 --> 00:17:00,229
GIORGIO MORALI AND TO THEIR
MANAGER, MAURY MINEO, THEY HAVE
BECOME A VIBRANT FORCE IN THE
565
00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:01,730
MANAGER, MAURY MINEO, THEY HAVE
BECOME A VIBRANT FORCE IN THE
MUSIC INDUSTRY.
566
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:04,000
BECOME A VIBRANT FORCE IN THE
MUSIC INDUSTRY.
NOW, TO INTRODUCE THEM FROM THE
567
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,168
MUSIC INDUSTRY.
NOW, TO INTRODUCE THEM FROM THE
PERSPECTIVE OF A YOUNG PERSON
568
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,304
NOW, TO INTRODUCE THEM FROM THE
PERSPECTIVE OF A YOUNG PERSON
WHO CAN ENJOY THEIR MUSIC
569
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,039
PERSPECTIVE OF A YOUNG PERSON
WHO CAN ENJOY THEIR MUSIC
WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING ITS
570
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:13,142
WHO CAN ENJOY THEIR MUSIC
WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING ITS
HOMOSEXUAL CONNOTATIONS, HERE IS
571
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:21,166
WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING ITS
HOMOSEXUAL CONNOTATIONS, HERE IS
MY DAUGHTER, KAREN KIRSHNER.
572
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,619
HOMOSEXUAL CONNOTATIONS, HERE IS
MY DAUGHTER, KAREN KIRSHNER.
I FIRST SAW THE
573
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:26,555
MY DAUGHTER, KAREN KIRSHNER.
I FIRST SAW THE
VILLAGE PERSONS PERFORM AT
574
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:30,126
I FIRST SAW THE
VILLAGE PERSONS PERFORM AT
L.A.'s FAMED ROXY THEATER, WHERE
575
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,661
VILLAGE PERSONS PERFORM AT
L.A.'s FAMED ROXY THEATER, WHERE
THEY DEBUTED THEIR HIT SINGLE,
576
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:35,831
L.A.'s FAMED ROXY THEATER, WHERE
THEY DEBUTED THEIR HIT SINGLE,
"HEALTH CLUB MAN."
577
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,633
THEY DEBUTED THEIR HIT SINGLE,
"HEALTH CLUB MAN."
TONIGHT, THANKS TO MY GOOD
578
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:40,369
"HEALTH CLUB MAN."
TONIGHT, THANKS TO MY GOOD
FRIEND HERB KARP AT POLYSUTRA
579
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,372
TONIGHT, THANKS TO MY GOOD
FRIEND HERB KARP AT POLYSUTRA
RECORDS, THEY'RE HERE TO PERFORM
580
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,008
FRIEND HERB KARP AT POLYSUTRA
RECORDS, THEY'RE HERE TO PERFORM
THEIR NEW HIT, "BEND OVER,
581
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,844
RECORDS, THEY'RE HERE TO PERFORM
THEIR NEW HIT, "BEND OVER,
CHUCK BERRY."
582
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:51,580
THEIR NEW HIT, "BEND OVER,
CHUCK BERRY."
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
583
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,550
CHUCK BERRY."
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
WELCOME THE VILLAGE PERSONS.
584
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,285
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
WELCOME THE VILLAGE PERSONS.
[UPBEAT DISCO INTRODUCTION
585
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,742
WELCOME THE VILLAGE PERSONS.
[UPBEAT DISCO INTRODUCTION
PLAYS]
586
00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:13,384
♪ BEND OVER ♪
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ♪
587
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:18,807
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ♪
588
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,976
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ I WENT DOWN TO THE DISCO
589
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:21,777
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ I WENT DOWN TO THE DISCO
TO MAKE IT
590
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:25,714
♪ I WENT DOWN TO THE DISCO
TO MAKE IT
WITH MY LOCAL DEEJAY ♪
591
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,216
TO MAKE IT
WITH MY LOCAL DEEJAY ♪
♪ WELL, HE LOOKS SO GOOD
592
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,384
WITH MY LOCAL DEEJAY ♪
♪ WELL, HE LOOKS SO GOOD
IN LEATHER, AND HE KNOWS
593
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:32,654
♪ WELL, HE LOOKS SO GOOD
IN LEATHER, AND HE KNOWS
WHICH RECORDS TO PLAY ♪
594
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:33,522
IN LEATHER, AND HE KNOWS
WHICH RECORDS TO PLAY ♪
♪ WELL, I WALKED
595
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,557
WHICH RECORDS TO PLAY ♪
♪ WELL, I WALKED
RIGHT UP TO HIM,
596
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:38,527
♪ WELL, I WALKED
RIGHT UP TO HIM,
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ♪
597
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,795
RIGHT UP TO HIM,
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ♪
♪ UH-HUH ♪
598
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,663
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ♪
♪ UH-HUH ♪
♪ WELL, HE TOLD ME HE WAS MACHO,
599
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,265
♪ UH-HUH ♪
♪ WELL, HE TOLD ME HE WAS MACHO,
AND HE WORKED OUT DOWN
600
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,166
♪ WELL, HE TOLD ME HE WAS MACHO,
AND HE WORKED OUT DOWN
AT THE GYM ♪
601
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,702
AND HE WORKED OUT DOWN
AT THE GYM ♪
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
602
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:47,836
AT THE GYM ♪
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ I SAID, "HEY, LOOK,
603
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:48,904
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ I SAID, "HEY, LOOK,
YOU'RE THE BOSS" ♪
604
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:49,805
♪ I SAID, "HEY, LOOK,
YOU'RE THE BOSS" ♪
♪ AND THE TURNTABLE
605
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,240
YOU'RE THE BOSS" ♪
♪ AND THE TURNTABLE
STARTED TO SPIN ♪
606
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:53,542
♪ AND THE TURNTABLE
STARTED TO SPIN ♪
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
607
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,844
STARTED TO SPIN ♪
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ AND BEFORE TOO LONG I WAS
608
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,713
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ AND BEFORE TOO LONG I WAS
REALLY GETTIN' IN TO HIM ♪
609
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,416
♪ AND BEFORE TOO LONG I WAS
REALLY GETTIN' IN TO HIM ♪
♪ HEY! HEY! HEY-HEY-HEY! ♪
610
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,518
REALLY GETTIN' IN TO HIM ♪
♪ HEY! HEY! HEY-HEY-HEY! ♪
♪ BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
611
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:07,089
♪ HEY! HEY! HEY-HEY-HEY! ♪
♪ BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
♪ PUT YOUR GUITAR AWAY ♪
612
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,190
♪ BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
♪ PUT YOUR GUITAR AWAY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THEY'RE PLAYIN'
613
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:09,492
♪ PUT YOUR GUITAR AWAY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THEY'RE PLAYIN'
DISCO MUSIC
614
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,727
♪ 'CAUSE THEY'RE PLAYIN'
DISCO MUSIC
FROM NEW YORK TO L.A. ♪
615
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:12,761
DISCO MUSIC
FROM NEW YORK TO L.A. ♪
♪ NOT TO MENTION
616
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,830
FROM NEW YORK TO L.A. ♪
♪ NOT TO MENTION
PHILADELPHIA, P-A ♪
617
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,365
♪ NOT TO MENTION
PHILADELPHIA, P-A ♪
♪ TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU ♪
618
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,699
PHILADELPHIA, P-A ♪
♪ TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU ♪
♪ THERE'S NO MORE ROCK 'N' ROLL
619
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:21,103
♪ TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU ♪
♪ THERE'S NO MORE ROCK 'N' ROLL
TODAY ♪
620
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:23,272
♪ THERE'S NO MORE ROCK 'N' ROLL
TODAY ♪
♪ SO BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
621
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:27,976
TODAY ♪
♪ SO BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
♪ DISCO IS HERE TO STAY ♪
622
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,380
♪ SO BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
♪ DISCO IS HERE TO STAY ♪
♪ BEND OVER ♪
623
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:34,883
♪ DISCO IS HERE TO STAY ♪
♪ BEND OVER ♪
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER ♪
624
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,620
♪ BEND OVER ♪
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ♪
625
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:38,354
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
626
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,388
♪ BEND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ SO THE NEXT TIME
627
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,322
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ SO THE NEXT TIME
YOU'RE LONELY
628
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:40,956
♪ SO THE NEXT TIME
YOU'RE LONELY
AND YOU'RE CRAWLING
629
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,891
YOU'RE LONELY
AND YOU'RE CRAWLING
ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES ♪
630
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,060
AND YOU'RE CRAWLING
ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES ♪
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
631
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:46,128
ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES ♪
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE CHECKIN' OUT
632
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,030
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE CHECKIN' OUT
EACH YOUNG MAN TO FIND OUT
633
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,565
♪ AND YOU'RE CHECKIN' OUT
EACH YOUNG MAN TO FIND OUT
WHERE HE WEARS HIS KEYS ♪
634
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:52,100
EACH YOUNG MAN TO FIND OUT
WHERE HE WEARS HIS KEYS ♪
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
635
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,002
WHERE HE WEARS HIS KEYS ♪
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ COME ON DOWN TO THE DISCO,
636
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,237
♪ BEND OVER, OVER AND OVER ♪
♪ COME ON DOWN TO THE DISCO,
WHERE THE DEEJAYS
637
00:19:55,261 --> 00:19:56,238
♪ COME ON DOWN TO THE DISCO,
WHERE THE DEEJAYS
AIM TO PLEASE ♪
638
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:58,974
WHERE THE DEEJAYS
AIM TO PLEASE ♪
♪ HEY! HEY! HEY-HEY-HEY! ♪
639
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,842
AIM TO PLEASE ♪
♪ HEY! HEY! HEY-HEY-HEY! ♪
♪ BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
640
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:05,714
♪ HEY! HEY! HEY-HEY-HEY! ♪
♪ BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
♪ PUT YOUR GUITAR AWAY ♪
641
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:06,715
♪ BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
♪ PUT YOUR GUITAR AWAY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THEY'RE PLAYIN'
642
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:07,849
♪ PUT YOUR GUITAR AWAY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THEY'RE PLAYIN'
DISCO MUSIC
643
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,553
♪ 'CAUSE THEY'RE PLAYIN'
DISCO MUSIC
FROM NEW YORK TO L.A. ♪
644
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,620
DISCO MUSIC
FROM NEW YORK TO L.A. ♪
♪ THE PLACES GOIN' DOWN
645
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:12,888
FROM NEW YORK TO L.A. ♪
♪ THE PLACES GOIN' DOWN
IN 'FRISCO BAY ♪
646
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,790
♪ THE PLACES GOIN' DOWN
IN 'FRISCO BAY ♪
♪ TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU ♪
647
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,292
IN 'FRISCO BAY ♪
♪ TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU ♪
♪ THERE'S NO MORE ROCK 'N' ROLL
648
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,293
♪ TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU ♪
♪ THERE'S NO MORE ROCK 'N' ROLL
TODAY ♪
649
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:18,194
♪ THERE'S NO MORE ROCK 'N' ROLL
TODAY ♪
♪ DO YOU HEAR ME, MAN? ♪
650
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:19,628
TODAY ♪
♪ DO YOU HEAR ME, MAN? ♪
♪ BEND OVER ♪
651
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,863
♪ DO YOU HEAR ME, MAN? ♪
♪ BEND OVER ♪
♪ SO BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
652
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,499
♪ BEND OVER ♪
♪ SO BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
♪ WHAT WOULD LITTLE RICHARD
653
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:26,502
♪ SO BEND OVER, CHUCK BERRY ♪
♪ WHAT WOULD LITTLE RICHARD
SAY? ♪
654
00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:29,927
♪ WHAT WOULD LITTLE RICHARD
SAY? ♪
♪ HEY! ♪
655
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:40,382
JERRY BROWN SHOWS
LINDA RONSTADT HIS BACKHAND
BREASTSTROKE.
656
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,451
LINDA RONSTADT HIS BACKHAND
BREASTSTROKE.
THIS STORY AND MORE COMING UP ON
657
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,955
BREASTSTROKE.
THIS STORY AND MORE COMING UP ON
"WEEKEND UPDATE."
658
00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:50,826
Announcer: AND NOW "WEEKEND
UPDATE," WITH THE "WEEKEND
UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
659
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:51,927
UPDATE," WITH THE "WEEKEND
UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
660
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:52,928
UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
PEPTO-BISMARCK.
661
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,530
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
PEPTO-BISMARCK.
CONTROLS DIARRHEA IN GERMAN
662
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:55,664
PEPTO-BISMARCK.
CONTROLS DIARRHEA IN GERMAN
CHANCELLORS.
663
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:57,433
CONTROLS DIARRHEA IN GERMAN
CHANCELLORS.
HERE ARE ANCHORPERSONS
664
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,635
CHANCELLORS.
HERE ARE ANCHORPERSONS
JANE CURTIN AND BILL MURRAY.
665
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:00,769
HERE ARE ANCHORPERSONS
JANE CURTIN AND BILL MURRAY.
GOOD EVENING.
666
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:01,937
JANE CURTIN AND BILL MURRAY.
GOOD EVENING.
I'M JANE CURTIN.
667
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,171
GOOD EVENING.
I'M JANE CURTIN.
HERE NOW THE NEWS.
668
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,773
I'M JANE CURTIN.
HERE NOW THE NEWS.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...
669
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,508
HERE NOW THE NEWS.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...
IN HARRISBURG TODAY, THE MEN
670
00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:08,009
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...
IN HARRISBURG TODAY, THE MEN
MOST RESPONSIBLE FOR THE
671
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:09,911
IN HARRISBURG TODAY, THE MEN
MOST RESPONSIBLE FOR THE
THREE MILE ISLAND INCIDENT WERE
672
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,380
MOST RESPONSIBLE FOR THE
THREE MILE ISLAND INCIDENT WERE
TRIED AND EXECUTED BY A
673
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:12,848
THREE MILE ISLAND INCIDENT WERE
TRIED AND EXECUTED BY A
REVOLUTIONARY TRIBUNAL.
674
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,483
TRIED AND EXECUTED BY A
REVOLUTIONARY TRIBUNAL.
TRIBUNAL MEMBERS SAID THEY WOULD
675
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,084
REVOLUTIONARY TRIBUNAL.
TRIBUNAL MEMBERS SAID THEY WOULD
HAVE ELECTROCUTED THE MEN, BUT
676
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,386
TRIBUNAL MEMBERS SAID THEY WOULD
HAVE ELECTROCUTED THE MEN, BUT
THEY COULDN'T AFFORD THE
677
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,187
HAVE ELECTROCUTED THE MEN, BUT
THEY COULDN'T AFFORD THE
ELECTRICITY.
678
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:21,223
THEY COULDN'T AFFORD THE
ELECTRICITY.
DISASTER STRUCK WICHITA FALLS,
679
00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:23,225
ELECTRICITY.
DISASTER STRUCK WICHITA FALLS,
TEXAS, TUESDAY, WHEN A TWISTER
680
00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:25,361
DISASTER STRUCK WICHITA FALLS,
TEXAS, TUESDAY, WHEN A TWISTER
RIPPED THROUGH THE TOWN, LEAVING
681
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,296
TEXAS, TUESDAY, WHEN A TWISTER
RIPPED THROUGH THE TOWN, LEAVING
DEATH AND DESTRUCTION IN ITS
682
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:27,863
RIPPED THROUGH THE TOWN, LEAVING
DEATH AND DESTRUCTION IN ITS
WAKE.
683
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,431
DEATH AND DESTRUCTION IN ITS
WAKE.
HERE, A VICTIM OF THE TORNADO
684
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:30,999
WAKE.
HERE, A VICTIM OF THE TORNADO
HAD HIS HOUSE DESTROYED AND A
685
00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:32,501
HERE, A VICTIM OF THE TORNADO
HAD HIS HOUSE DESTROYED AND A
HANDKERCHIEF DRIVEN INTO HIS
686
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:35,404
HAD HIS HOUSE DESTROYED AND A
HANDKERCHIEF DRIVEN INTO HIS
FACE.
687
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:36,972
HANDKERCHIEF DRIVEN INTO HIS
FACE.
MARRIED ONLY TWO WEEKS,
688
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:39,007
FACE.
MARRIED ONLY TWO WEEKS,
PATTY HEARST AND HER BRIDEGROOM,
689
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,009
MARRIED ONLY TWO WEEKS,
PATTY HEARST AND HER BRIDEGROOM,
BERNARD SHAW, ARE ALREADY HAVING
690
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:42,010
PATTY HEARST AND HER BRIDEGROOM,
BERNARD SHAW, ARE ALREADY HAVING
DIFFICULTIES.
691
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,512
BERNARD SHAW, ARE ALREADY HAVING
DIFFICULTIES.
IT'S A FAMILIAR STORY.
692
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:45,414
DIFFICULTIES.
IT'S A FAMILIAR STORY.
SHE DOESN'T LIKE HIS FRIENDS,
693
00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:47,416
IT'S A FAMILIAR STORY.
SHE DOESN'T LIKE HIS FRIENDS,
AND HE CAN'T STAND HER OLD ARMY
694
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,083
SHE DOESN'T LIKE HIS FRIENDS,
AND HE CAN'T STAND HER OLD ARMY
BUDDIES.
695
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,819
AND HE CAN'T STAND HER OLD ARMY
BUDDIES.
BILL?
696
00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:52,488
BUDDIES.
BILL?
NOW "WEEKEND UPDATE" PRESENTS
697
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:54,156
BILL?
NOW "WEEKEND UPDATE" PRESENTS
PART TWO OF THE AMAZING COMEBACK
698
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:55,391
NOW "WEEKEND UPDATE" PRESENTS
PART TWO OF THE AMAZING COMEBACK
ATTEMPT OF 41-YEAR-OLD
699
00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:57,826
PART TWO OF THE AMAZING COMEBACK
ATTEMPT OF 41-YEAR-OLD
CHICO ESCUELA.
700
00:21:57,850 --> 00:21:59,428
ATTEMPT OF 41-YEAR-OLD
CHICO ESCUELA.
WE TOOK OUR CAMERAS DOWN TO
701
00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:01,029
CHICO ESCUELA.
WE TOOK OUR CAMERAS DOWN TO
ST. PETERSBURG, FLORIDA, TO
702
00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:02,898
WE TOOK OUR CAMERAS DOWN TO
ST. PETERSBURG, FLORIDA, TO
COVER AN EXHIBITION GAME BETWEEN
703
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:04,700
ST. PETERSBURG, FLORIDA, TO
COVER AN EXHIBITION GAME BETWEEN
THE METS AND THE WORLD CHAMPION
704
00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:05,801
COVER AN EXHIBITION GAME BETWEEN
THE METS AND THE WORLD CHAMPION
NEW YORK YANKEES.
705
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:08,904
THE METS AND THE WORLD CHAMPION
NEW YORK YANKEES.
LET'S GO TO THE FILM.
706
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:10,739
NEW YORK YANKEES.
LET'S GO TO THE FILM.
IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL FLORIDA
707
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:12,508
LET'S GO TO THE FILM.
IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL FLORIDA
EVENING WHEN THOUSANDS OF
708
00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:14,343
IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL FLORIDA
EVENING WHEN THOUSANDS OF
EMOTIONAL FANS PACKED INTO
709
00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:16,345
EVENING WHEN THOUSANDS OF
EMOTIONAL FANS PACKED INTO
ST. PETE'S AL LANG STADIUM TO
710
00:22:16,369 --> 00:22:18,414
EMOTIONAL FANS PACKED INTO
ST. PETE'S AL LANG STADIUM TO
CHEER THE COMEBACK OF "CINCO,"
711
00:22:18,438 --> 00:22:19,548
ST. PETE'S AL LANG STADIUM TO
CHEER THE COMEBACK OF "CINCO,"
CHICO ESCUELA.
712
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:20,783
CHEER THE COMEBACK OF "CINCO,"
CHICO ESCUELA.
TONIGHT, AGAINST THE
713
00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:22,351
CHICO ESCUELA.
TONIGHT, AGAINST THE
BRONX BOMBERS, THE ULTIMATE
714
00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:22,851
TONIGHT, AGAINST THE
BRONX BOMBERS, THE ULTIMATE
TEST.
715
00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:24,520
BRONX BOMBERS, THE ULTIMATE
TEST.
IF CHICO DOES WELL, HE HAS A
716
00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:26,388
TEST.
IF CHICO DOES WELL, HE HAS A
GREAT CHANCE OF MAKING THE METS.
717
00:22:26,412 --> 00:22:28,056
IF CHICO DOES WELL, HE HAS A
GREAT CHANCE OF MAKING THE METS.
IF NOT, HE'LL EITHER HAVE TO
718
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,858
GREAT CHANCE OF MAKING THE METS.
IF NOT, HE'LL EITHER HAVE TO
REJOIN US HERE, AT THE "UPDATE"
719
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:31,327
IF NOT, HE'LL EITHER HAVE TO
REJOIN US HERE, AT THE "UPDATE"
NEWS DESK, OR GO BACK TO
720
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:32,695
REJOIN US HERE, AT THE "UPDATE"
NEWS DESK, OR GO BACK TO
SMUGGLING DOPE IN THE
721
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:33,895
NEWS DESK, OR GO BACK TO
SMUGGLING DOPE IN THE
DOMINICAN REPUBLIC.
722
00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:35,764
SMUGGLING DOPE IN THE
DOMINICAN REPUBLIC.
BATTING IN HIS FAMILIAR LEADOFF
723
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:37,633
DOMINICAN REPUBLIC.
BATTING IN HIS FAMILIAR LEADOFF
SPOT, CHICO LOOKS RIDICULOUS ON
724
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:39,301
BATTING IN HIS FAMILIAR LEADOFF
SPOT, CHICO LOOKS RIDICULOUS ON
THE FIRST OFFERING FROM THE
725
00:22:39,325 --> 00:22:41,002
SPOT, CHICO LOOKS RIDICULOUS ON
THE FIRST OFFERING FROM THE
BIONIC SOUTHPAW, TOMMY JOHN.
726
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,838
THE FIRST OFFERING FROM THE
BIONIC SOUTHPAW, TOMMY JOHN.
BUT THE NEXT PITCH IS A FROZEN
727
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:44,606
BIONIC SOUTHPAW, TOMMY JOHN.
BUT THE NEXT PITCH IS A FROZEN
ROPE TO LEFT FIELD FOR A BASE
728
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:45,173
BUT THE NEXT PITCH IS A FROZEN
ROPE TO LEFT FIELD FOR A BASE
KNOCK.
729
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,075
ROPE TO LEFT FIELD FOR A BASE
KNOCK.
FOLI SINGLES TO RIGHT.
730
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:49,010
KNOCK.
FOLI SINGLES TO RIGHT.
CHICO COMING ON AROUND TO THIRD.
731
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,646
FOLI SINGLES TO RIGHT.
CHICO COMING ON AROUND TO THIRD.
AND THEN WATCH THIS.
732
00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:52,881
CHICO COMING ON AROUND TO THIRD.
AND THEN WATCH THIS.
CHICO'S PATENTED PACHANGA OFF
733
00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:55,116
AND THEN WATCH THIS.
CHICO'S PATENTED PACHANGA OFF
THIRD BASE UPSETS TOMMY JOHN,
734
00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:57,453
CHICO'S PATENTED PACHANGA OFF
THIRD BASE UPSETS TOMMY JOHN,
WHO ISN'T READY FOR THE SUICIDE
735
00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:58,320
THIRD BASE UPSETS TOMMY JOHN,
WHO ISN'T READY FOR THE SUICIDE
SQUEEZE!
736
00:22:58,344 --> 00:22:59,855
WHO ISN'T READY FOR THE SUICIDE
SQUEEZE!
HE'S IN SLIDING SAFE!
737
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,757
SQUEEZE!
HE'S IN SLIDING SAFE!
AND THE MAN THEY CALL "EL
738
00:23:01,781 --> 00:23:04,059
HE'S IN SLIDING SAFE!
AND THE MAN THEY CALL "EL
BANDITO DE LOS BASE PATHS" GIVES
739
00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:05,828
AND THE MAN THEY CALL "EL
BANDITO DE LOS BASE PATHS" GIVES
THE METS AN EARLY LEAD.
740
00:23:05,852 --> 00:23:08,163
BANDITO DE LOS BASE PATHS" GIVES
THE METS AN EARLY LEAD.
IT'S ESCUELA AGAIN IN THE TOP OF
741
00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:10,198
THE METS AN EARLY LEAD.
IT'S ESCUELA AGAIN IN THE TOP OF
THE FIFTH, THIS TIME IN THE
742
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,434
IT'S ESCUELA AGAIN IN THE TOP OF
THE FIFTH, THIS TIME IN THE
FIELD, PUTTING THE KIBOSH ON A
743
00:23:12,458 --> 00:23:14,470
THE FIFTH, THIS TIME IN THE
FIELD, PUTTING THE KIBOSH ON A
YANKEE RALLY WITH AN ALMOST
744
00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:16,805
FIELD, PUTTING THE KIBOSH ON A
YANKEE RALLY WITH AN ALMOST
SPASTIC DIVING STOP.
745
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:19,975
YANKEE RALLY WITH AN ALMOST
SPASTIC DIVING STOP.
WITH EVERY INNING, THIS CROWD
746
00:23:19,999 --> 00:23:23,178
SPASTIC DIVING STOP.
WITH EVERY INNING, THIS CROWD
GROWS MORE ENTHUSIASTIC FOR THIS
747
00:23:23,202 --> 00:23:25,981
WITH EVERY INNING, THIS CROWD
GROWS MORE ENTHUSIASTIC FOR THIS
41-YEAR-OLD LATINO, WHO HAS
748
00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:29,184
GROWS MORE ENTHUSIASTIC FOR THIS
41-YEAR-OLD LATINO, WHO HAS
STOPPED THE HANDS OF TIME IN THE
749
00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:33,088
41-YEAR-OLD LATINO, WHO HAS
STOPPED THE HANDS OF TIME IN THE
DIRT BEHIND SECOND BASE.
750
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:35,357
STOPPED THE HANDS OF TIME IN THE
DIRT BEHIND SECOND BASE.
BETWEEN INNINGS, I WRAPPED WITH
751
00:23:35,381 --> 00:23:36,992
DIRT BEHIND SECOND BASE.
BETWEEN INNINGS, I WRAPPED WITH
YANKEE THIRD BASEMAN
752
00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:38,359
BETWEEN INNINGS, I WRAPPED WITH
YANKEE THIRD BASEMAN
GRAIG NETTLES.
753
00:23:38,383 --> 00:23:39,623
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE TELL ME I'M
754
00:23:39,651 --> 00:23:40,928
A PRETTY FAIR THIRD BASEMAN, BUT
755
00:23:40,952 --> 00:23:42,032
I DON'T THINK I COULD SHINE
756
00:23:42,086 --> 00:23:45,556
CHICO ESCUELA'S SHOES.
757
00:23:45,824 --> 00:23:53,174
BACK TO THE GAME... BOTTOM OF
THE NINTH, METS DOWN 6-3, AND
IT'S CHICO'S BAT THAT HAS THE
758
00:23:53,198 --> 00:23:54,242
THE NINTH, METS DOWN 6-3, AND
IT'S CHICO'S BAT THAT HAS THE
FINAL SAY.
759
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,612
IT'S CHICO'S BAT THAT HAS THE
FINAL SAY.
AN ERROR WITH TWO OUTS LOADS THE
760
00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:57,946
FINAL SAY.
AN ERROR WITH TWO OUTS LOADS THE
BASES FOR CHICO.
761
00:23:57,970 --> 00:23:59,715
AN ERROR WITH TWO OUTS LOADS THE
BASES FOR CHICO.
HEY, SOMEBODY STOP THIS
762
00:23:59,739 --> 00:24:01,249
BASES FOR CHICO.
HEY, SOMEBODY STOP THIS
FAIRY-TALE ENDING!
763
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,818
HEY, SOMEBODY STOP THIS
FAIRY-TALE ENDING!
TOO LATE!
764
00:24:02,842 --> 00:24:05,153
FAIRY-TALE ENDING!
TOO LATE!
GRAND SLAM, ESCUELA!
765
00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:09,558
TOO LATE!
GRAND SLAM, ESCUELA!
[CROWD CHANTING "CHICO"]
766
00:24:09,582 --> 00:24:15,764
GRAND SLAM, ESCUELA!
[CROWD CHANTING "CHICO"]
ST. PETERSBURG GOES NUTS.
767
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:18,099
[CROWD CHANTING "CHICO"]
ST. PETERSBURG GOES NUTS.
AND AFTER THE GAME, THE FANS
768
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:19,234
ST. PETERSBURG GOES NUTS.
AND AFTER THE GAME, THE FANS
WON'T QUIT.
769
00:24:19,258 --> 00:24:21,870
AND AFTER THE GAME, THE FANS
WON'T QUIT.
THEY SCREAM OUT THEIR AFFECTION.
770
00:24:21,894 --> 00:24:24,005
WON'T QUIT.
THEY SCREAM OUT THEIR AFFECTION.
HALL-OF-FAMER WILLIE MAYS
771
00:24:24,029 --> 00:24:26,207
THEY SCREAM OUT THEIR AFFECTION.
HALL-OF-FAMER WILLIE MAYS
PRESENTS CHICO WITH AN OIL
772
00:24:26,231 --> 00:24:27,976
HALL-OF-FAMER WILLIE MAYS
PRESENTS CHICO WITH AN OIL
PORTRAIT OF JULIAN BOND WEARING
773
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,880
PRESENTS CHICO WITH AN OIL
PORTRAIT OF JULIAN BOND WEARING
A METS UNIFORM.
774
00:24:33,705 --> 00:24:36,785
INCREDIBLE.
INCREDIBLE.
WELL, AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW,
775
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:38,554
INCREDIBLE.
WELL, AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW,
CHICO MADE THE METS SQUAD THIS
776
00:24:38,578 --> 00:24:40,121
WELL, AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW,
CHICO MADE THE METS SQUAD THIS
YEAR, AND "WEEKEND UPDATE"
777
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,957
CHICO MADE THE METS SQUAD THIS
YEAR, AND "WEEKEND UPDATE"
WISHES HIM ONLY THE BEST DURING
778
00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:42,958
YEAR, AND "WEEKEND UPDATE"
WISHES HIM ONLY THE BEST DURING
THE '79 SEASON.
779
00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:44,793
WISHES HIM ONLY THE BEST DURING
THE '79 SEASON.
NEXT TIME WE'LL HAVE A PROGRESS
780
00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:46,495
THE '79 SEASON.
NEXT TIME WE'LL HAVE A PROGRESS
REPORT ON THE SUCCESS OF THE
781
00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:48,330
NEXT TIME WE'LL HAVE A PROGRESS
REPORT ON THE SUCCESS OF THE
LOVABLE 41-YEAR-OLD LATINO WITH
782
00:24:48,354 --> 00:24:49,665
REPORT ON THE SUCCESS OF THE
LOVABLE 41-YEAR-OLD LATINO WITH
THE GRIN-EATING GRIN.
783
00:24:49,689 --> 00:24:50,332
LOVABLE 41-YEAR-OLD LATINO WITH
THE GRIN-EATING GRIN.
INCREDIBLE.
784
00:24:50,356 --> 00:24:51,767
THE GRIN-EATING GRIN.
INCREDIBLE.
I RECENTLY GOT A LOT OF MAIL
785
00:24:51,791 --> 00:24:53,301
INCREDIBLE.
I RECENTLY GOT A LOT OF MAIL
HERE FROM SOME LISTENERS AT WGN
786
00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:54,736
I RECENTLY GOT A LOT OF MAIL
HERE FROM SOME LISTENERS AT WGN
IN CHICAGO POINTING OUT TO ME
787
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,237
HERE FROM SOME LISTENERS AT WGN
IN CHICAGO POINTING OUT TO ME
THAT ANITA BRYANT WAS 39 YEARS
788
00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:57,439
IN CHICAGO POINTING OUT TO ME
THAT ANITA BRYANT WAS 39 YEARS
OLD A COUPLE YEARS AGO.
789
00:24:57,463 --> 00:24:59,040
THAT ANITA BRYANT WAS 39 YEARS
OLD A COUPLE YEARS AGO.
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BECAUSE SHE
790
00:24:59,064 --> 00:25:00,509
OLD A COUPLE YEARS AGO.
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BECAUSE SHE
DOESN'T LOOK IT, AND, BESIDES,
791
00:25:00,533 --> 00:25:01,977
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BECAUSE SHE
DOESN'T LOOK IT, AND, BESIDES,
ANITA AND I ONCE HAD A THING.
792
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:04,379
DOESN'T LOOK IT, AND, BESIDES,
ANITA AND I ONCE HAD A THING.
AND IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT
793
00:25:04,403 --> 00:25:06,715
ANITA AND I ONCE HAD A THING.
AND IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT
SHE WAS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
794
00:25:06,739 --> 00:25:08,216
AND IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT
SHE WAS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
THAN SHE IS NOW.
795
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,619
SHE WAS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
THAN SHE IS NOW.
SHE'S SO OUTSPOKEN NOW, AND I
796
00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:13,254
THAN SHE IS NOW.
SHE'S SO OUTSPOKEN NOW, AND I
HAVE TO SAY IT'S SO HYPOCRITICAL
797
00:25:13,278 --> 00:25:15,591
SHE'S SO OUTSPOKEN NOW, AND I
HAVE TO SAY IT'S SO HYPOCRITICAL
OF HER BECAUSE IF I TOLD YOU
798
00:25:15,615 --> 00:25:18,226
HAVE TO SAY IT'S SO HYPOCRITICAL
OF HER BECAUSE IF I TOLD YOU
SOME OF THE THINGS THAT SHE USED
799
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:23,832
OF HER BECAUSE IF I TOLD YOU
SOME OF THE THINGS THAT SHE USED
TO BEG ME TO DO...
800
00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:25,000
SOME OF THE THINGS THAT SHE USED
TO BEG ME TO DO...
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
801
00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:26,468
TO BEG ME TO DO...
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
LET ME JUST SAY THIS.
802
00:25:26,492 --> 00:25:28,370
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
LET ME JUST SAY THIS.
ANITA, I'M CALLING YOU ON IT.
803
00:25:28,394 --> 00:25:30,138
LET ME JUST SAY THIS.
ANITA, I'M CALLING YOU ON IT.
WHEN WE WENT OUT, YOU DRANK
804
00:25:30,162 --> 00:25:32,207
ANITA, I'M CALLING YOU ON IT.
WHEN WE WENT OUT, YOU DRANK
NOTHING BUT APPLE JUICE, AND YOU
805
00:25:32,231 --> 00:25:32,875
WHEN WE WENT OUT, YOU DRANK
NOTHING BUT APPLE JUICE, AND YOU
KNOW IT.
806
00:25:32,899 --> 00:25:33,274
NOTHING BUT APPLE JUICE, AND YOU
KNOW IT.
THERE.
807
00:25:33,298 --> 00:25:33,942
KNOW IT.
THERE.
I HAD TO SAY IT.
808
00:25:33,966 --> 00:25:35,110
THERE.
I HAD TO SAY IT.
A LOT OF WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE,
809
00:25:35,134 --> 00:25:35,844
I HAD TO SAY IT.
A LOT OF WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE,
BUT IT'S ME, ANITA.
810
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:36,845
A LOT OF WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE,
BUT IT'S ME, ANITA.
SO DON'T TRY AND FOOL ME, ALL
811
00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:37,245
BUT IT'S ME, ANITA.
SO DON'T TRY AND FOOL ME, ALL
RIGHT?
812
00:25:37,269 --> 00:25:39,381
SO DON'T TRY AND FOOL ME, ALL
RIGHT?
JANE?
813
00:25:39,405 --> 00:25:40,749
RIGHT?
JANE?
SOVIET SCIENTISTS ARE
814
00:25:40,773 --> 00:25:42,083
JANE?
SOVIET SCIENTISTS ARE
PREPARING TO START UP A
815
00:25:42,107 --> 00:25:43,819
SOVIET SCIENTISTS ARE
PREPARING TO START UP A
BRAND-NEW NUCLEAR REACTOR POWER
816
00:25:43,843 --> 00:25:45,120
PREPARING TO START UP A
BRAND-NEW NUCLEAR REACTOR POWER
PLANT IN RUSSIA'S URAL
817
00:25:45,144 --> 00:25:45,821
BRAND-NEW NUCLEAR REACTOR POWER
PLANT IN RUSSIA'S URAL
MOUNTAINS.
818
00:25:45,845 --> 00:25:47,222
PLANT IN RUSSIA'S URAL
MOUNTAINS.
A SOVIET SPOKESMAN SAID THAT
819
00:25:47,246 --> 00:25:48,657
MOUNTAINS.
A SOVIET SPOKESMAN SAID THAT
THEY FEEL SAFE IN GOING AHEAD
820
00:25:48,681 --> 00:25:50,225
A SOVIET SPOKESMAN SAID THAT
THEY FEEL SAFE IN GOING AHEAD
NOW THAT THEY'VE GOTTEN THE BUGS
821
00:25:50,249 --> 00:25:51,527
THEY FEEL SAFE IN GOING AHEAD
NOW THAT THEY'VE GOTTEN THE BUGS
OUT OF THEIR TEST MODEL IN
822
00:25:51,551 --> 00:25:52,528
NOW THAT THEY'VE GOTTEN THE BUGS
OUT OF THEIR TEST MODEL IN
PENNSYLVANIA.
823
00:25:52,552 --> 00:25:54,162
OUT OF THEIR TEST MODEL IN
PENNSYLVANIA.
BILL?
824
00:25:54,186 --> 00:25:55,797
PENNSYLVANIA.
BILL?
IN BRITAIN, WHERE POLITICAL
825
00:25:55,821 --> 00:25:57,499
BILL?
IN BRITAIN, WHERE POLITICAL
CAMPAIGNS ARE OFTEN A SOURCE OF
826
00:25:57,523 --> 00:25:59,034
IN BRITAIN, WHERE POLITICAL
CAMPAIGNS ARE OFTEN A SOURCE OF
UNMISTAKABLY BRITISH WIT, WE
827
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:00,636
CAMPAIGNS ARE OFTEN A SOURCE OF
UNMISTAKABLY BRITISH WIT, WE
HAVE THIS FROM PRIME MINISTER
828
00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:01,670
UNMISTAKABLY BRITISH WIT, WE
HAVE THIS FROM PRIME MINISTER
JAMES CALLAHAN...
829
00:26:01,694 --> 00:26:03,371
HAVE THIS FROM PRIME MINISTER
JAMES CALLAHAN...
COMMENTING ON THE LIKELY DEFEAT
830
00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,106
JAMES CALLAHAN...
COMMENTING ON THE LIKELY DEFEAT
OF HIS LABOR PARTY BY THE TORIES
831
00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:06,408
COMMENTING ON THE LIKELY DEFEAT
OF HIS LABOR PARTY BY THE TORIES
IN THE UPCOMING BRITISH
832
00:26:06,432 --> 00:26:07,976
OF HIS LABOR PARTY BY THE TORIES
IN THE UPCOMING BRITISH
ELECTIONS, CALLAHAN QUIPPED,
833
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,144
IN THE UPCOMING BRITISH
ELECTIONS, CALLAHAN QUIPPED,
"WHEN I CONGRATULATE
834
00:26:09,168 --> 00:26:10,646
ELECTIONS, CALLAHAN QUIPPED,
"WHEN I CONGRATULATE
MRS. THATCHER, I WON'T KNOW
835
00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:12,213
"WHEN I CONGRATULATE
MRS. THATCHER, I WON'T KNOW
WHETHER TO CLASP HER HAND OR
836
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:13,281
MRS. THATCHER, I WON'T KNOW
WHETHER TO CLASP HER HAND OR
HAND HER A CLASP."
837
00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:15,116
WHETHER TO CLASP HER HAND OR
HAND HER A CLASP."
WHEN ASKED TO EXPLAIN HIS JOKE,
838
00:26:15,140 --> 00:26:16,919
HAND HER A CLASP."
WHEN ASKED TO EXPLAIN HIS JOKE,
CALLAHAN REPLIED, "BY THE TERM
839
00:26:16,943 --> 00:26:18,587
WHEN ASKED TO EXPLAIN HIS JOKE,
CALLAHAN REPLIED, "BY THE TERM
'CLASP, ' I MEAN OF COURSE A
840
00:26:18,611 --> 00:26:20,488
CALLAHAN REPLIED, "BY THE TERM
'CLASP, ' I MEAN OF COURSE A
PAPER CLIP SUCH AS MIGHT BE USED
841
00:26:20,512 --> 00:26:22,190
'CLASP, ' I MEAN OF COURSE A
PAPER CLIP SUCH AS MIGHT BE USED
TO HOLD TOGETHER THE VARIOUS
842
00:26:22,214 --> 00:26:23,992
PAPER CLIP SUCH AS MIGHT BE USED
TO HOLD TOGETHER THE VARIOUS
IMPORTANT PAPERS AND DOCUMENTS,
843
00:26:24,016 --> 00:26:25,527
TO HOLD TOGETHER THE VARIOUS
IMPORTANT PAPERS AND DOCUMENTS,
WHICH, AS PRIME MINISTER,
844
00:26:25,551 --> 00:26:27,362
IMPORTANT PAPERS AND DOCUMENTS,
WHICH, AS PRIME MINISTER,
MRS. THATCHER WOULD VERY LIKELY
845
00:26:27,386 --> 00:26:28,296
WHICH, AS PRIME MINISTER,
MRS. THATCHER WOULD VERY LIKELY
BE HANDLING."
846
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:28,897
MRS. THATCHER WOULD VERY LIKELY
BE HANDLING."
HA HA!
847
00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:30,899
BE HANDLING."
HA HA!
THERE WILL ALWAYS BE AN ENGLAND.
848
00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,333
HA HA!
THERE WILL ALWAYS BE AN ENGLAND.
YOU KNOW, THIS SURPRISED ME.
849
00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:33,835
THERE WILL ALWAYS BE AN ENGLAND.
YOU KNOW, THIS SURPRISED ME.
DEMOGRAPHIC STUDIES SHOW THAT
850
00:26:33,859 --> 00:26:35,270
YOU KNOW, THIS SURPRISED ME.
DEMOGRAPHIC STUDIES SHOW THAT
ONLY 7.8% OF TEENAGE VIEWERS
851
00:26:35,294 --> 00:26:36,171
DEMOGRAPHIC STUDIES SHOW THAT
ONLY 7.8% OF TEENAGE VIEWERS
WATCH THE NEWS.
852
00:26:36,195 --> 00:26:37,138
ONLY 7.8% OF TEENAGE VIEWERS
WATCH THE NEWS.
OUCH. THAT HURTS.
853
00:26:37,162 --> 00:26:38,740
WATCH THE NEWS.
OUCH. THAT HURTS.
WELL, IN AN ATTEMPT TO LURE SOME
854
00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:39,975
OUCH. THAT HURTS.
WELL, IN AN ATTEMPT TO LURE SOME
OF YOU KIDS, WE WANT TO
855
00:26:39,999 --> 00:26:41,342
WELL, IN AN ATTEMPT TO LURE SOME
OF YOU KIDS, WE WANT TO
INTRODUCE A GIRL WITH SOME
856
00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:42,811
OF YOU KIDS, WE WANT TO
INTRODUCE A GIRL WITH SOME
PRETTY HIP CREDENTIALS ON THE
857
00:26:42,835 --> 00:26:44,212
INTRODUCE A GIRL WITH SOME
PRETTY HIP CREDENTIALS ON THE
MUSIC SCENE TO TALK TO YOU.
858
00:26:44,236 --> 00:26:45,447
PRETTY HIP CREDENTIALS ON THE
MUSIC SCENE TO TALK TO YOU.
SHE'S WRITTEN FOR EVERY
859
00:26:45,471 --> 00:26:46,882
MUSIC SCENE TO TALK TO YOU.
SHE'S WRITTEN FOR EVERY
MAGAZINE, FROM TIGER BEAT TO
860
00:26:46,906 --> 00:26:47,816
SHE'S WRITTEN FOR EVERY
MAGAZINE, FROM TIGER BEAT TO
SLASH MAGAZINE.
861
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,451
MAGAZINE, FROM TIGER BEAT TO
SLASH MAGAZINE.
AND NOW LET'S WELCOME HER, A NEW
862
00:26:49,475 --> 00:26:50,886
SLASH MAGAZINE.
AND NOW LET'S WELCOME HER, A NEW
MEMBER OF THE "UPDATE" TEAM,
863
00:26:50,910 --> 00:26:52,621
AND NOW LET'S WELCOME HER, A NEW
MEMBER OF THE "UPDATE" TEAM,
ROCK CRITIC Z. JONES.
864
00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:57,059
MEMBER OF THE "UPDATE" TEAM,
ROCK CRITIC Z. JONES.
Z., NICE TO HAVE YOU WITH US.
865
00:26:57,083 --> 00:27:00,495
ROCK CRITIC Z. JONES.
Z., NICE TO HAVE YOU WITH US.
HI, I'M Z. JONES.
866
00:27:00,519 --> 00:27:03,031
Z., NICE TO HAVE YOU WITH US.
HI, I'M Z. JONES.
OKAY, TONIGHT WE'LL BE TALKING
867
00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:05,667
HI, I'M Z. JONES.
OKAY, TONIGHT WE'LL BE TALKING
ABOUT WHO'S HYPE AND WHO'S HOT.
868
00:27:05,691 --> 00:27:08,403
OKAY, TONIGHT WE'LL BE TALKING
ABOUT WHO'S HYPE AND WHO'S HOT.
I HOPE I GET THIS OUT BEFORE
869
00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:10,572
ABOUT WHO'S HYPE AND WHO'S HOT.
I HOPE I GET THIS OUT BEFORE
THOSE 'LUDES KICK IN.
870
00:27:10,596 --> 00:27:12,040
I HOPE I GET THIS OUT BEFORE
THOSE 'LUDES KICK IN.
OKAY.
871
00:27:12,064 --> 00:27:13,008
THOSE 'LUDES KICK IN.
OKAY.
WHO'S HOT?
872
00:27:13,032 --> 00:27:15,410
OKAY.
WHO'S HOT?
ELVIS COSTELLO IS VERY, VERY HOT
873
00:27:15,434 --> 00:27:16,845
WHO'S HOT?
ELVIS COSTELLO IS VERY, VERY HOT
RIGHT NOW, RIGHT?
874
00:27:16,869 --> 00:27:18,714
ELVIS COSTELLO IS VERY, VERY HOT
RIGHT NOW, RIGHT?
DOES EVERYBODY LIKE HIM?
875
00:27:18,738 --> 00:27:19,848
RIGHT NOW, RIGHT?
DOES EVERYBODY LIKE HIM?
RIGHT.
876
00:27:19,872 --> 00:27:20,381
DOES EVERYBODY LIKE HIM?
RIGHT.
[APPLAUSE]
877
00:27:20,405 --> 00:27:21,883
RIGHT.
[APPLAUSE]
REALLY.
878
00:27:21,907 --> 00:27:23,551
[APPLAUSE]
REALLY.
I MEAN, THE FIRST TWO ALBUMS...
879
00:27:23,575 --> 00:27:24,519
REALLY.
I MEAN, THE FIRST TWO ALBUMS...
DYNAMITE, RIGHT?
880
00:27:24,543 --> 00:27:26,554
I MEAN, THE FIRST TWO ALBUMS...
DYNAMITE, RIGHT?
BUT NOW ELVIS IS BEGINNING TO
881
00:27:26,578 --> 00:27:28,657
DYNAMITE, RIGHT?
BUT NOW ELVIS IS BEGINNING TO
BELIEVE HIS OWN HYPE, AND THAT
882
00:27:28,681 --> 00:27:30,826
BUT NOW ELVIS IS BEGINNING TO
BELIEVE HIS OWN HYPE, AND THAT
IS DEATH FOR A CREATIVE ARTIST.
883
00:27:30,850 --> 00:27:33,495
BELIEVE HIS OWN HYPE, AND THAT
IS DEATH FOR A CREATIVE ARTIST.
I MEAN, IT SHOULD BE NO NEWS TO
884
00:27:33,519 --> 00:27:36,164
IS DEATH FOR A CREATIVE ARTIST.
I MEAN, IT SHOULD BE NO NEWS TO
ANYONE THAT ELVIS IS ONE OF THE
885
00:27:36,188 --> 00:27:38,700
I MEAN, IT SHOULD BE NO NEWS TO
ANYONE THAT ELVIS IS ONE OF THE
MOST OBNOXIOUS AND DERIVATIVE
886
00:27:38,724 --> 00:27:40,168
ANYONE THAT ELVIS IS ONE OF THE
MOST OBNOXIOUS AND DERIVATIVE
TALENTS AROUND.
887
00:27:40,192 --> 00:27:41,937
MOST OBNOXIOUS AND DERIVATIVE
TALENTS AROUND.
I MEAN, TAKE HIS SONG ON THE
888
00:27:41,961 --> 00:27:43,605
TALENTS AROUND.
I MEAN, TAKE HIS SONG ON THE
SECOND ALBUM, "THIS YEAR'S
889
00:27:43,629 --> 00:27:45,340
I MEAN, TAKE HIS SONG ON THE
SECOND ALBUM, "THIS YEAR'S
MODEL," CALLED "THIS YEAR'S
890
00:27:45,364 --> 00:27:46,241
SECOND ALBUM, "THIS YEAR'S
MODEL," CALLED "THIS YEAR'S
GIRL," OKAY?
891
00:27:46,265 --> 00:27:47,943
MODEL," CALLED "THIS YEAR'S
GIRL," OKAY?
HERE'S THE OPENING DRUM LINE.
892
00:27:47,967 --> 00:27:48,710
GIRL," OKAY?
HERE'S THE OPENING DRUM LINE.
IT GOES...
893
00:27:48,734 --> 00:27:50,812
HERE'S THE OPENING DRUM LINE.
IT GOES...
KA-KOOM, CHI CHI,
894
00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:52,514
IT GOES...
KA-KOOM, CHI CHI,
KA-KOOM, CHI CHI.
895
00:27:52,538 --> 00:27:53,281
KA-KOOM, CHI CHI,
KA-KOOM, CHI CHI.
KA-KOOM.
896
00:27:53,305 --> 00:27:54,950
KA-KOOM, CHI CHI.
KA-KOOM.
OKAY, YOU GOT THAT?
897
00:27:54,974 --> 00:27:57,285
KA-KOOM.
OKAY, YOU GOT THAT?
NOW, "TICKET TO RIDE" BY THE
898
00:27:57,309 --> 00:27:58,186
OKAY, YOU GOT THAT?
NOW, "TICKET TO RIDE" BY THE
BEATLES.
899
00:27:58,210 --> 00:27:59,955
NOW, "TICKET TO RIDE" BY THE
BEATLES.
CHA-KOOM, KI CHI,
900
00:27:59,979 --> 00:28:01,790
BEATLES.
CHA-KOOM, KI CHI,
CHA-KOOM, KI CHI.
901
00:28:01,814 --> 00:28:04,126
CHA-KOOM, KI CHI,
CHA-KOOM, KI CHI.
♪ I THINK I'M GONNA BE SAD ♪
902
00:28:04,150 --> 00:28:05,460
CHA-KOOM, KI CHI.
♪ I THINK I'M GONNA BE SAD ♪
♪ I THINK IT'S TODAY ♪
903
00:28:05,484 --> 00:28:06,528
♪ I THINK I'M GONNA BE SAD ♪
♪ I THINK IT'S TODAY ♪
KA-KOOM, CHI.
904
00:28:06,552 --> 00:28:07,629
♪ I THINK IT'S TODAY ♪
KA-KOOM, CHI.
SAME THING.
905
00:28:07,653 --> 00:28:09,031
KA-KOOM, CHI.
SAME THING.
I'M SORRY, OKAY?
906
00:28:09,055 --> 00:28:14,136
SAME THING.
I'M SORRY, OKAY?
SO, WHERE IS THE REAL ELVIS?
907
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,372
I'M SORRY, OKAY?
SO, WHERE IS THE REAL ELVIS?
I MEAN HE'S GOT ELVIS PRESLEY'S
908
00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:20,608
SO, WHERE IS THE REAL ELVIS?
I MEAN HE'S GOT ELVIS PRESLEY'S
FIRST NAME, LOU COSTELLO'S LAST
909
00:28:20,632 --> 00:28:23,712
I MEAN HE'S GOT ELVIS PRESLEY'S
FIRST NAME, LOU COSTELLO'S LAST
NAME, AND BUDDY HOLLY'S GLASSES.
910
00:28:23,736 --> 00:28:25,781
FIRST NAME, LOU COSTELLO'S LAST
NAME, AND BUDDY HOLLY'S GLASSES.
I MEAN, THERE'S NO LAW THAT SAYS
911
00:28:25,805 --> 00:28:27,482
NAME, AND BUDDY HOLLY'S GLASSES.
I MEAN, THERE'S NO LAW THAT SAYS
A PUNK CAN'T WEAR CONTACT
912
00:28:27,506 --> 00:28:28,483
I MEAN, THERE'S NO LAW THAT SAYS
A PUNK CAN'T WEAR CONTACT
LENSES, OKAY?
913
00:28:28,507 --> 00:28:29,484
A PUNK CAN'T WEAR CONTACT
LENSES, OKAY?
NOW LISTEN.
914
00:28:29,508 --> 00:28:31,619
LENSES, OKAY?
NOW LISTEN.
ELVIS' MANAGER, JAKE RIVIERA,
915
00:28:31,643 --> 00:28:33,789
NOW LISTEN.
ELVIS' MANAGER, JAKE RIVIERA,
STIFF RECORDS... I HOPE YOU'RE
916
00:28:33,813 --> 00:28:34,723
ELVIS' MANAGER, JAKE RIVIERA,
STIFF RECORDS... I HOPE YOU'RE
LISTENING.
917
00:28:34,747 --> 00:28:37,059
STIFF RECORDS... I HOPE YOU'RE
LISTENING.
WISE UP, JAKE, OR ELVIS IS GONNA
918
00:28:37,083 --> 00:28:39,294
LISTENING.
WISE UP, JAKE, OR ELVIS IS GONNA
BE THINKING OF 50 WAYS TO LEAVE
919
00:28:39,318 --> 00:28:40,361
WISE UP, JAKE, OR ELVIS IS GONNA
BE THINKING OF 50 WAYS TO LEAVE
HIS MANAGER.
920
00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:42,597
BE THINKING OF 50 WAYS TO LEAVE
HIS MANAGER.
YOU KNOW, LIKE IN THAT SONG BY
921
00:28:42,621 --> 00:28:45,100
HIS MANAGER.
YOU KNOW, LIKE IN THAT SONG BY
PAUL, UH...
922
00:28:45,124 --> 00:28:47,969
YOU KNOW, LIKE IN THAT SONG BY
PAUL, UH...
OH, IT'S NOT WILLIAMS.
923
00:28:47,993 --> 00:28:50,138
PAUL, UH...
OH, IT'S NOT WILLIAMS.
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE I BLANKED
924
00:28:50,162 --> 00:28:51,740
OH, IT'S NOT WILLIAMS.
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE I BLANKED
OUT LIKE THIS ON TV.
925
00:28:51,764 --> 00:28:55,043
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE I BLANKED
OUT LIKE THIS ON TV.
IT MUST BE THOSE 'LUDES.
926
00:28:55,067 --> 00:28:55,877
OUT LIKE THIS ON TV.
IT MUST BE THOSE 'LUDES.
UH, Z., BABY?
927
00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:57,345
IT MUST BE THOSE 'LUDES.
UH, Z., BABY?
WE'RE RUNNING A LITTLE BIT SHORT
928
00:28:57,369 --> 00:28:57,879
UH, Z., BABY?
WE'RE RUNNING A LITTLE BIT SHORT
ON TIME.
929
00:28:57,903 --> 00:28:59,280
WE'RE RUNNING A LITTLE BIT SHORT
ON TIME.
YOU HAVE ANY FINAL WORDS SO WE
930
00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:00,148
ON TIME.
YOU HAVE ANY FINAL WORDS SO WE
COULD WRAP IT UP?
931
00:29:00,172 --> 00:29:02,084
YOU HAVE ANY FINAL WORDS SO WE
COULD WRAP IT UP?
WELL, I HAVE ALL THESE NOTES
932
00:29:02,108 --> 00:29:03,919
COULD WRAP IT UP?
WELL, I HAVE ALL THESE NOTES
LEFT, BUT I GUESS IT CAN WAIT
933
00:29:03,943 --> 00:29:04,986
WELL, I HAVE ALL THESE NOTES
LEFT, BUT I GUESS IT CAN WAIT
TILL NEXT WEEK.
934
00:29:05,010 --> 00:29:05,553
LEFT, BUT I GUESS IT CAN WAIT
TILL NEXT WEEK.
GREAT.
935
00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:06,988
TILL NEXT WEEK.
GREAT.
OKAY, PART TWO NEXT WEEK, THEN.
936
00:29:07,012 --> 00:29:08,556
GREAT.
OKAY, PART TWO NEXT WEEK, THEN.
BUT THERE'S ONE THING, BILL,
937
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:10,025
OKAY, PART TWO NEXT WEEK, THEN.
BUT THERE'S ONE THING, BILL,
I JUST WANT TO ADD... JUST A
938
00:29:10,049 --> 00:29:10,558
BUT THERE'S ONE THING, BILL,
I JUST WANT TO ADD... JUST A
SECOND.
939
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:12,094
I JUST WANT TO ADD... JUST A
SECOND.
JAKE, TELL ELVIS TO CONTACT ME
940
00:29:12,118 --> 00:29:13,494
SECOND.
JAKE, TELL ELVIS TO CONTACT ME
IF HE WANTS THE NUMBER OF A
941
00:29:13,518 --> 00:29:14,462
JAKE, TELL ELVIS TO CONTACT ME
IF HE WANTS THE NUMBER OF A
DYNAMITE PSYCHIC.
942
00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:16,198
IF HE WANTS THE NUMBER OF A
DYNAMITE PSYCHIC.
THIS GUY DID THIS READING FOR
943
00:29:16,222 --> 00:29:17,032
DYNAMITE PSYCHIC.
THIS GUY DID THIS READING FOR
PETER TOSH.
944
00:29:17,056 --> 00:29:18,800
THIS GUY DID THIS READING FOR
PETER TOSH.
I MEAN, AFTER THAT, PETER DREW
945
00:29:18,824 --> 00:29:20,335
PETER TOSH.
I MEAN, AFTER THAT, PETER DREW
THE STONES LIKE A MAGNET.
946
00:29:20,359 --> 00:29:22,037
I MEAN, AFTER THAT, PETER DREW
THE STONES LIKE A MAGNET.
TELL HIM TO GIVE ME A CALL...
947
00:29:22,061 --> 00:29:23,504
THE STONES LIKE A MAGNET.
TELL HIM TO GIVE ME A CALL...
555-2391.
948
00:29:23,528 --> 00:29:25,673
TELL HIM TO GIVE ME A CALL...
555-2391.
I'M NOT KIDDING.
949
00:29:25,697 --> 00:29:26,875
555-2391.
I'M NOT KIDDING.
AND IF YOU'RE NOT JAKE OR
950
00:29:26,899 --> 00:29:27,976
I'M NOT KIDDING.
AND IF YOU'RE NOT JAKE OR
ELVIS, YOU'RE ON THE HONOR
951
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,211
AND IF YOU'RE NOT JAKE OR
ELVIS, YOU'RE ON THE HONOR
SYSTEM NOT TO CALL AND HARASS
952
00:29:29,235 --> 00:29:29,745
ELVIS, YOU'RE ON THE HONOR
SYSTEM NOT TO CALL AND HARASS
THIS GIRL.
953
00:29:29,769 --> 00:29:30,545
SYSTEM NOT TO CALL AND HARASS
THIS GIRL.
THANKS VERY MUCH.
954
00:29:30,569 --> 00:29:31,646
THIS GIRL.
THANKS VERY MUCH.
OKAY, THANK YOU, Z. JONES.
955
00:29:31,670 --> 00:29:37,719
THANKS VERY MUCH.
OKAY, THANK YOU, Z. JONES.
APPRECIATE IT.
956
00:29:37,743 --> 00:29:38,854
OKAY, THANK YOU, Z. JONES.
APPRECIATE IT.
WELL, "THE TREASURES OF
957
00:29:38,878 --> 00:29:40,222
APPRECIATE IT.
WELL, "THE TREASURES OF
TUTANKHAMEN" HAS BEEN AT THE
958
00:29:40,246 --> 00:29:41,689
WELL, "THE TREASURES OF
TUTANKHAMEN" HAS BEEN AT THE
NEW YORK METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF
959
00:29:41,713 --> 00:29:42,858
TUTANKHAMEN" HAS BEEN AT THE
NEW YORK METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF
ART SINCE LAST DECEMBER.
960
00:29:42,882 --> 00:29:43,725
NEW YORK METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF
ART SINCE LAST DECEMBER.
CLOSES TOMORROW.
961
00:29:43,749 --> 00:29:44,926
ART SINCE LAST DECEMBER.
CLOSES TOMORROW.
OVER A MILLION AND A QUARTER
962
00:29:44,950 --> 00:29:46,294
CLOSES TOMORROW.
OVER A MILLION AND A QUARTER
PEOPLE HAVE VISITED THE EXHIBIT,
963
00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:47,262
OVER A MILLION AND A QUARTER
PEOPLE HAVE VISITED THE EXHIBIT,
WHICH WILL MOVE ON TO
964
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:48,329
PEOPLE HAVE VISITED THE EXHIBIT,
WHICH WILL MOVE ON TO
SAN FRANCISCO FROM HERE.
965
00:29:48,353 --> 00:29:49,664
WHICH WILL MOVE ON TO
SAN FRANCISCO FROM HERE.
AND FOR ALL NEW YORKERS, I'D
966
00:29:49,688 --> 00:29:51,166
SAN FRANCISCO FROM HERE.
AND FOR ALL NEW YORKERS, I'D
LIKE TO SAY A SPECIAL GOODBYE TO
967
00:29:51,190 --> 00:29:51,733
AND FOR ALL NEW YORKERS, I'D
LIKE TO SAY A SPECIAL GOODBYE TO
KING TUT.
968
00:29:51,757 --> 00:29:57,739
LIKE TO SAY A SPECIAL GOODBYE TO
KING TUT.
♪ OH, TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, GOODBYE ♪
969
00:29:57,763 --> 00:30:01,409
KING TUT.
♪ OH, TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, GOODBYE ♪
♪ TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, DON'T CRY ♪
970
00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:04,846
♪ OH, TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, GOODBYE ♪
♪ TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, DON'T CRY ♪
♪ OH, KISS ME, TUTTY, AND THEN
971
00:30:04,870 --> 00:30:08,616
♪ TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, DON'T CRY ♪
♪ OH, KISS ME, TUTTY, AND THEN
WON'T YOU DO IT OVER AGAIN? ♪
972
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,752
♪ OH, KISS ME, TUTTY, AND THEN
WON'T YOU DO IT OVER AGAIN? ♪
♪ TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, DON'T CRY ♪
973
00:30:10,776 --> 00:30:13,321
WON'T YOU DO IT OVER AGAIN? ♪
♪ TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, DON'T CRY ♪
♪ TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, GOODBYE ♪
974
00:30:13,345 --> 00:30:13,855
♪ TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, DON'T CRY ♪
♪ TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, GOODBYE ♪
YOU NUT!
975
00:30:13,879 --> 00:30:14,956
♪ TUT-TUT-TUTSIE, GOODBYE ♪
YOU NUT!
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU.
976
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:16,792
YOU NUT!
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU.
BACK IN THE SARCOPHAGUS, YOU
977
00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:19,327
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU.
BACK IN THE SARCOPHAGUS, YOU
MANIAC.
978
00:30:19,351 --> 00:30:21,897
BACK IN THE SARCOPHAGUS, YOU
MANIAC.
ALL RIGHT.
979
00:30:21,921 --> 00:30:23,631
MANIAC.
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, AND YOU WANT TO SAY HELLO
980
00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:25,333
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, AND YOU WANT TO SAY HELLO
TO YOUR "MUMMY" FOR ME WHEN YOU
981
00:30:25,357 --> 00:30:26,301
YEAH, AND YOU WANT TO SAY HELLO
TO YOUR "MUMMY" FOR ME WHEN YOU
GET BACK THERE?
982
00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:27,435
TO YOUR "MUMMY" FOR ME WHEN YOU
GET BACK THERE?
HA HA.
983
00:30:27,459 --> 00:30:28,436
GET BACK THERE?
HA HA.
JANE?
984
00:30:28,460 --> 00:30:29,604
HA HA.
JANE?
THAT'S THE NEWS.
985
00:30:29,628 --> 00:30:31,339
JANE?
THAT'S THE NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT
986
00:30:31,363 --> 00:30:33,997
THAT'S THE NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.
987
00:30:39,804 --> 00:30:45,253
[HORN HONKS]
YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL THE
RECENT ARRIVALS OUT THERE
988
00:30:45,277 --> 00:30:46,754
YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL THE
RECENT ARRIVALS OUT THERE
BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONES WHO
989
00:30:46,778 --> 00:30:48,423
RECENT ARRIVALS OUT THERE
BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONES WHO
WHEN THE EAT SANDWICHES GET THE
990
00:30:48,447 --> 00:30:50,058
BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONES WHO
WHEN THE EAT SANDWICHES GET THE
ALFALFA SPROUTS CAUGHT IN THEIR
991
00:30:50,082 --> 00:30:50,826
WHEN THE EAT SANDWICHES GET THE
ALFALFA SPROUTS CAUGHT IN THEIR
GOLD CHAINS.
992
00:30:50,850 --> 00:30:51,592
ALFALFA SPROUTS CAUGHT IN THEIR
GOLD CHAINS.
[CHUCKLES]
993
00:30:51,616 --> 00:30:52,961
GOLD CHAINS.
[CHUCKLES]
AND THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
994
00:30:52,985 --> 00:30:54,029
[CHUCKLES]
AND THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN NEW YORK AND
995
00:30:54,053 --> 00:30:54,729
AND THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN NEW YORK AND
LOS ANGELES.
996
00:30:54,753 --> 00:30:56,564
BETWEEN NEW YORK AND
LOS ANGELES.
THAT'S IT.
997
00:30:56,588 --> 00:30:57,498
LOS ANGELES.
THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT?
998
00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:59,400
THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT?
WELL, THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
999
00:30:59,424 --> 00:31:00,468
THAT'S IT?
WELL, THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
STEP RIGHT DOWN.
1000
00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:02,204
WELL, THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
STEP RIGHT DOWN.
VERY, VERY, VERY INTERESTING.
1001
00:31:02,228 --> 00:31:03,504
STEP RIGHT DOWN.
VERY, VERY, VERY INTERESTING.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1002
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:04,472
VERY, VERY, VERY INTERESTING.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
VERY TALENTED.
1003
00:31:04,496 --> 00:31:06,507
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
VERY TALENTED.
JUST WAIT OUTSIDE, PLEASE.
1004
00:31:06,531 --> 00:31:08,076
VERY TALENTED.
JUST WAIT OUTSIDE, PLEASE.
[CHUCKLES]
1005
00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:08,977
JUST WAIT OUTSIDE, PLEASE.
[CHUCKLES]
THE WORST.
1006
00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:10,812
[CHUCKLES]
THE WORST.
HOW MANY MORE DO WE HAVE?
1007
00:31:10,836 --> 00:31:12,247
THE WORST.
HOW MANY MORE DO WE HAVE?
JUST A FEW MORE.
1008
00:31:12,271 --> 00:31:13,882
HOW MANY MORE DO WE HAVE?
JUST A FEW MORE.
OKAY, SEND THEM IN.
1009
00:31:13,906 --> 00:31:15,116
JUST A FEW MORE.
OKAY, SEND THEM IN.
OKAY.
1010
00:31:15,140 --> 00:31:18,386
OKAY, SEND THEM IN.
OKAY.
RICKY SCOTT?
1011
00:31:18,410 --> 00:31:19,787
OKAY.
RICKY SCOTT?
RICKY SCOTT?
1012
00:31:19,811 --> 00:31:22,190
RICKY SCOTT?
RICKY SCOTT?
HEY, RICKY SCOTT, WHY NOT?
1013
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:22,824
RICKY SCOTT?
HEY, RICKY SCOTT, WHY NOT?
HOW ARE YOU?
1014
00:31:22,848 --> 00:31:23,959
HEY, RICKY SCOTT, WHY NOT?
HOW ARE YOU?
GLAD TO SEE YOU, RICKY.
1015
00:31:23,983 --> 00:31:25,293
HOW ARE YOU?
GLAD TO SEE YOU, RICKY.
YOU WANT TO GET UP THERE AND DO
1016
00:31:25,317 --> 00:31:25,793
GLAD TO SEE YOU, RICKY.
YOU WANT TO GET UP THERE AND DO
YOUR BIT?
1017
00:31:25,817 --> 00:31:26,394
YOU WANT TO GET UP THERE AND DO
YOUR BIT?
YOU BET.
1018
00:31:26,418 --> 00:31:27,628
YOUR BIT?
YOU BET.
RIGHT HERE IN THE LAUNCHING
1019
00:31:27,652 --> 00:31:28,029
YOU BET.
RIGHT HERE IN THE LAUNCHING
PAD.
1020
00:31:28,053 --> 00:31:28,930
RIGHT HERE IN THE LAUNCHING
PAD.
MIGHT BE A BIG STAR.
1021
00:31:28,954 --> 00:31:29,831
PAD.
MIGHT BE A BIG STAR.
OKAY, I HOPE SO.
1022
00:31:29,855 --> 00:31:31,632
MIGHT BE A BIG STAR.
OKAY, I HOPE SO.
HEY, HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE TONIGHT,
1023
00:31:31,656 --> 00:31:32,067
OKAY, I HOPE SO.
HEY, HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE TONIGHT,
HUH?
1024
00:31:32,091 --> 00:31:32,533
HEY, HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE TONIGHT,
HUH?
HUH?
1025
00:31:32,557 --> 00:31:34,202
HUH?
HUH?
WHO'S FROM OUT OF TOWN, HUH?
1026
00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:34,870
HUH?
WHO'S FROM OUT OF TOWN, HUH?
HEY, EXCUSE ME.
1027
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:35,470
WHO'S FROM OUT OF TOWN, HUH?
HEY, EXCUSE ME.
HOW YOU DOING?
1028
00:31:35,494 --> 00:31:36,238
HEY, EXCUSE ME.
HOW YOU DOING?
IS THIS YOUR WIFE?
1029
00:31:36,262 --> 00:31:37,339
HOW YOU DOING?
IS THIS YOUR WIFE?
SEE, I LIKE TO WORK THE ROOM.
1030
00:31:37,363 --> 00:31:38,473
IS THIS YOUR WIFE?
SEE, I LIKE TO WORK THE ROOM.
I LIKE TO GET THE AUDIENCE TO
1031
00:31:38,497 --> 00:31:39,307
SEE, I LIKE TO WORK THE ROOM.
I LIKE TO GET THE AUDIENCE TO
KNOW ME A LITTLE BIT.
1032
00:31:39,331 --> 00:31:40,475
I LIKE TO GET THE AUDIENCE TO
KNOW ME A LITTLE BIT.
THEY LIKE ME, AND THEN I START
1033
00:31:40,499 --> 00:31:41,243
KNOW ME A LITTLE BIT.
THEY LIKE ME, AND THEN I START
GOING TO THE STUFF.
1034
00:31:41,267 --> 00:31:42,177
THEY LIKE ME, AND THEN I START
GOING TO THE STUFF.
I DO A FEW IMPRESSIONS.
1035
00:31:42,201 --> 00:31:43,444
GOING TO THE STUFF.
I DO A FEW IMPRESSIONS.
[As Sen. Ted Kennedy] THE
1036
00:31:43,468 --> 00:31:44,679
I DO A FEW IMPRESSIONS.
[As Sen. Ted Kennedy] THE
REAL PROBLEM WITH THAT, OF
1037
00:31:44,703 --> 00:31:45,380
[As Sen. Ted Kennedy] THE
REAL PROBLEM WITH THAT, OF
COURSE, IS...
1038
00:31:45,404 --> 00:31:46,848
REAL PROBLEM WITH THAT, OF
COURSE, IS...
[Normal voice] TEDDY KENNEDY?
1039
00:31:46,872 --> 00:31:47,949
COURSE, IS...
[Normal voice] TEDDY KENNEDY?
NOBODY REMEMBERS, OKAY.
1040
00:31:47,973 --> 00:31:50,551
[Normal voice] TEDDY KENNEDY?
NOBODY REMEMBERS, OKAY.
[As James Cagney] I'M A YANKEE
1041
00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:51,819
NOBODY REMEMBERS, OKAY.
[As James Cagney] I'M A YANKEE
DOODLE DANDY.
1042
00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:53,688
[As James Cagney] I'M A YANKEE
DOODLE DANDY.
A YANKEE DOODLE, DO OR DIE.
1043
00:31:53,712 --> 00:31:55,623
DOODLE DANDY.
A YANKEE DOODLE, DO OR DIE.
[LAUGHS]
1044
00:31:55,647 --> 00:31:57,359
A YANKEE DOODLE, DO OR DIE.
[LAUGHS]
[As Jimmy Stewart] OH, THE
1045
00:31:57,383 --> 00:31:59,327
[LAUGHS]
[As Jimmy Stewart] OH, THE
TROUBLE WITH M-MY CLIENT IS THAT
1046
00:31:59,351 --> 00:32:00,862
[As Jimmy Stewart] OH, THE
TROUBLE WITH M-MY CLIENT IS THAT
HE HAD NO IDEA WHERE THE
1047
00:32:00,886 --> 00:32:02,497
TROUBLE WITH M-MY CLIENT IS THAT
HE HAD NO IDEA WHERE THE
UNDERWEAR WAS AT THE TIME.
1048
00:32:02,521 --> 00:32:04,065
HE HAD NO IDEA WHERE THE
UNDERWEAR WAS AT THE TIME.
[Normal voice] NOBODY SAW
1049
00:32:04,089 --> 00:32:05,833
UNDERWEAR WAS AT THE TIME.
[Normal voice] NOBODY SAW
"ANATOMY OF A MURDER," I GUESS.
1050
00:32:05,857 --> 00:32:06,667
[Normal voice] NOBODY SAW
"ANATOMY OF A MURDER," I GUESS.
JIMMY STEWART.
1051
00:32:06,691 --> 00:32:07,402
"ANATOMY OF A MURDER," I GUESS.
JIMMY STEWART.
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE SEEN
1052
00:32:07,426 --> 00:32:07,903
JIMMY STEWART.
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE SEEN
TELEVISION?
1053
00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:08,770
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE SEEN
TELEVISION?
CAN I HEAR FROM YOU?
1054
00:32:08,794 --> 00:32:09,204
TELEVISION?
CAN I HEAR FROM YOU?
YEAH.
1055
00:32:09,228 --> 00:32:10,538
CAN I HEAR FROM YOU?
YEAH.
ALL THOSE COP SHOWS... THEY'RE
1056
00:32:10,562 --> 00:32:11,572
YEAH.
ALL THOSE COP SHOWS... THEY'RE
ALL ALIKE, AREN'T THEY?
1057
00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:12,707
ALL THOSE COP SHOWS... THEY'RE
ALL ALIKE, AREN'T THEY?
THERE'S ALWAYS A GUY ON A
1058
00:32:12,731 --> 00:32:13,308
ALL ALIKE, AREN'T THEY?
THERE'S ALWAYS A GUY ON A
MOTORCYCLE.
1059
00:32:13,332 --> 00:32:17,345
THERE'S ALWAYS A GUY ON A
MOTORCYCLE.
[IMITATES MOTORCYCLE]
1060
00:32:17,369 --> 00:32:19,781
MOTORCYCLE.
[IMITATES MOTORCYCLE]
THEN THEY CALL THAT HELICOPTER.
1061
00:32:19,805 --> 00:32:21,016
[IMITATES MOTORCYCLE]
THEN THEY CALL THAT HELICOPTER.
HEY, THIS IS THE TOWER.
1062
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,417
THEN THEY CALL THAT HELICOPTER.
HEY, THIS IS THE TOWER.
[IMITATES HELICOPTER]
1063
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:23,985
HEY, THIS IS THE TOWER.
[IMITATES HELICOPTER]
THIS IS THE TOWER.
1064
00:32:24,009 --> 00:32:24,886
[IMITATES HELICOPTER]
THIS IS THE TOWER.
[IMITATING TALKING OVER
1065
00:32:24,910 --> 00:32:29,657
THIS IS THE TOWER.
[IMITATING TALKING OVER
POLICE RADIO]
1066
00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:32,360
[IMITATING TALKING OVER
POLICE RADIO]
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
1067
00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:33,561
[POLICE RADIO]
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
DID YOU EVER GO TO A FUNERAL?
1068
00:32:33,585 --> 00:32:34,329
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
DID YOU EVER GO TO A FUNERAL?
FUNERALS ARE FUNNY.
1069
00:32:34,353 --> 00:32:35,463
DID YOU EVER GO TO A FUNERAL?
FUNERALS ARE FUNNY.
DID YOU EVER GO TO A FUNERAL OF
1070
00:32:35,487 --> 00:32:36,298
FUNERALS ARE FUNNY.
DID YOU EVER GO TO A FUNERAL OF
SOMEBODY YOU DIDN'T LIKE?
1071
00:32:36,322 --> 00:32:36,731
DID YOU EVER GO TO A FUNERAL OF
SOMEBODY YOU DIDN'T LIKE?
YES.
1072
00:32:36,755 --> 00:32:37,498
SOMEBODY YOU DIDN'T LIKE?
YES.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, RICKY.
1073
00:32:37,522 --> 00:32:38,099
YES.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, RICKY.
THANK YOU.
1074
00:32:38,123 --> 00:32:39,534
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, RICKY.
THANK YOU.
PUT THE MIKE BACK AND THANK YOU.
1075
00:32:39,558 --> 00:32:40,568
THANK YOU.
PUT THE MIKE BACK AND THANK YOU.
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
1076
00:32:40,592 --> 00:32:42,037
PUT THE MIKE BACK AND THANK YOU.
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
YOU CAN WAIT OUTSIDE, PLEASE.
1077
00:32:42,061 --> 00:32:42,971
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
YOU CAN WAIT OUTSIDE, PLEASE.
THANKS A LOT.
1078
00:32:42,995 --> 00:32:43,939
YOU CAN WAIT OUTSIDE, PLEASE.
THANKS A LOT.
I GOT MORE STUFF.
1079
00:32:43,963 --> 00:32:45,606
THANKS A LOT.
I GOT MORE STUFF.
I KNOW YOU'VE GOT MORE STUFF.
1080
00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:47,108
I GOT MORE STUFF.
I KNOW YOU'VE GOT MORE STUFF.
BUT YOU WERE VERY, VERY GOOD.
1081
00:32:47,132 --> 00:32:48,109
I KNOW YOU'VE GOT MORE STUFF.
BUT YOU WERE VERY, VERY GOOD.
JUST WAIT OUTSIDE.
1082
00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:49,411
BUT YOU WERE VERY, VERY GOOD.
JUST WAIT OUTSIDE.
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.
1083
00:32:49,435 --> 00:32:50,878
JUST WAIT OUTSIDE.
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
1084
00:32:50,902 --> 00:32:53,648
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
[LAUGHS]
1085
00:32:53,672 --> 00:32:57,085
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
[LAUGHS]
HEY, RICKY SCOTT, WHY NOT?
1086
00:32:57,109 --> 00:32:57,685
[LAUGHS]
HEY, RICKY SCOTT, WHY NOT?
OOH!
1087
00:32:57,709 --> 00:32:59,321
HEY, RICKY SCOTT, WHY NOT?
OOH!
HE'S BEEN HERE BEFORE, HASN'T
1088
00:32:59,345 --> 00:32:59,720
OOH!
HE'S BEEN HERE BEFORE, HASN'T
HE?
1089
00:32:59,744 --> 00:33:01,323
HE'S BEEN HERE BEFORE, HASN'T
HE?
YEAH, THREE OR FOUR TIMES.
1090
00:33:01,347 --> 00:33:02,890
HE?
YEAH, THREE OR FOUR TIMES.
HE'S GETTING MUCH BETTER.
1091
00:33:02,914 --> 00:33:04,826
YEAH, THREE OR FOUR TIMES.
HE'S GETTING MUCH BETTER.
WHO'S NEXT?
1092
00:33:04,850 --> 00:33:06,727
HE'S GETTING MUCH BETTER.
WHO'S NEXT?
NEXT?
1093
00:33:06,751 --> 00:33:08,129
WHO'S NEXT?
NEXT?
CHARLES 25X.
1094
00:33:08,153 --> 00:33:10,865
NEXT?
CHARLES 25X.
CHARLES 25X.
1095
00:33:10,889 --> 00:33:12,267
CHARLES 25X.
CHARLES 25X.
HOW DO YOU DO?
1096
00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:13,734
CHARLES 25X.
HOW DO YOU DO?
RIGHT UP THERE.
1097
00:33:13,758 --> 00:33:14,936
HOW DO YOU DO?
RIGHT UP THERE.
GRAB THE MIKE.
1098
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:15,903
RIGHT UP THERE.
GRAB THE MIKE.
YOU'RE ON.
1099
00:33:15,927 --> 00:33:17,072
GRAB THE MIKE.
YOU'RE ON.
DO YOUR BEST.
1100
00:33:17,096 --> 00:33:18,206
YOU'RE ON.
DO YOUR BEST.
DO YOUR BEST.
1101
00:33:18,230 --> 00:33:20,976
DO YOUR BEST.
DO YOUR BEST.
UM...
1102
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:21,609
DO YOUR BEST.
UM...
OKAY.
1103
00:33:21,633 --> 00:33:23,945
UM...
OKAY.
HAVE YOU NOTICED THERE ARE A LOT
1104
00:33:23,969 --> 00:33:26,047
OKAY.
HAVE YOU NOTICED THERE ARE A LOT
OF DIFFERENCES BETWEEN BLACK
1105
00:33:26,071 --> 00:33:30,251
HAVE YOU NOTICED THERE ARE A LOT
OF DIFFERENCES BETWEEN BLACK
FOLKS AND WHITE FOLKS?
1106
00:33:30,275 --> 00:33:31,486
OF DIFFERENCES BETWEEN BLACK
FOLKS AND WHITE FOLKS?
YEAH.
1107
00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:33,121
FOLKS AND WHITE FOLKS?
YEAH.
FOR INSTANCE, HAVE YOU EVER
1108
00:33:33,145 --> 00:33:35,023
YEAH.
FOR INSTANCE, HAVE YOU EVER
NOTICED HOW BLACK FOLKS' HAIR IS
1109
00:33:35,047 --> 00:33:36,924
FOR INSTANCE, HAVE YOU EVER
NOTICED HOW BLACK FOLKS' HAIR IS
REAL KINKY AND WHITE FOLKS' HAIR
1110
00:33:36,948 --> 00:33:42,697
NOTICED HOW BLACK FOLKS' HAIR IS
REAL KINKY AND WHITE FOLKS' HAIR
IS REAL STRAIGHT?
1111
00:33:42,721 --> 00:33:45,566
REAL KINKY AND WHITE FOLKS' HAIR
IS REAL STRAIGHT?
OH, AND THEIR LIPS... THEY GOT
1112
00:33:45,590 --> 00:33:46,868
IS REAL STRAIGHT?
OH, AND THEIR LIPS... THEY GOT
SMALL LIPS.
1113
00:33:46,892 --> 00:33:51,939
OH, AND THEIR LIPS... THEY GOT
SMALL LIPS.
YOU KNOW, REAL SKINNY LIPS.
1114
00:33:51,963 --> 00:33:53,141
SMALL LIPS.
YOU KNOW, REAL SKINNY LIPS.
OH...
1115
00:33:53,165 --> 00:33:55,143
YOU KNOW, REAL SKINNY LIPS.
OH...
[LAUGHS]
1116
00:33:55,167 --> 00:33:55,610
OH...
[LAUGHS]
WAIT.
1117
00:33:55,634 --> 00:33:57,045
[LAUGHS]
WAIT.
HOW ABOUT THAT INFLATION?
1118
00:33:57,069 --> 00:33:58,813
WAIT.
HOW ABOUT THAT INFLATION?
PRICES JUST KEEP GOING UP AND UP
1119
00:33:58,837 --> 00:34:02,783
HOW ABOUT THAT INFLATION?
PRICES JUST KEEP GOING UP AND UP
AND UP.
1120
00:34:02,807 --> 00:34:03,918
PRICES JUST KEEP GOING UP AND UP
AND UP.
OH, YEAH.
1121
00:34:03,942 --> 00:34:06,587
AND UP.
OH, YEAH.
AND HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT
1122
00:34:06,611 --> 00:34:08,990
OH, YEAH.
AND HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT
WHITE FOLKS HAVE A STRANGE
1123
00:34:09,014 --> 00:34:09,824
AND HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT
WHITE FOLKS HAVE A STRANGE
SMELL?
1124
00:34:09,848 --> 00:34:14,562
WHITE FOLKS HAVE A STRANGE
SMELL?
I MEAN, THEY REALLY STINK.
1125
00:34:14,586 --> 00:34:15,930
SMELL?
I MEAN, THEY REALLY STINK.
YEAH.
1126
00:34:15,954 --> 00:34:16,998
I MEAN, THEY REALLY STINK.
YEAH.
I'M SORRY.
1127
00:34:17,022 --> 00:34:19,600
YEAH.
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S ALL THE MATERIAL I HAVE.
1128
00:34:19,624 --> 00:34:21,102
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S ALL THE MATERIAL I HAVE.
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
1129
00:34:21,126 --> 00:34:21,836
THAT'S ALL THE MATERIAL I HAVE.
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
VERY, VERY GOOD.
1130
00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:22,337
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
VERY, VERY GOOD.
THANK YOU.
1131
00:34:22,361 --> 00:34:23,204
VERY, VERY GOOD.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1132
00:34:23,228 --> 00:34:23,838
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1133
00:34:23,862 --> 00:34:26,141
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I ESPECIALLY LIKED THE INFLATION
1134
00:34:26,165 --> 00:34:26,774
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I ESPECIALLY LIKED THE INFLATION
JOKE.
1135
00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:27,975
I ESPECIALLY LIKED THE INFLATION
JOKE.
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
1136
00:34:27,999 --> 00:34:29,644
JOKE.
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
I THOUGHT THAT ONE UP LAST
1137
00:34:29,668 --> 00:34:30,211
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
I THOUGHT THAT ONE UP LAST
NIGHT.
1138
00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:30,778
I THOUGHT THAT ONE UP LAST
NIGHT.
YOU DID?
1139
00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:31,246
NIGHT.
YOU DID?
YEAH.
1140
00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:32,247
YOU DID?
YEAH.
VERY GOOD.
1141
00:34:32,271 --> 00:34:33,714
YEAH.
VERY GOOD.
YOU WAIT OUTSIDE, HUH?
1142
00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:34,282
VERY GOOD.
YOU WAIT OUTSIDE, HUH?
OKAY.
1143
00:34:34,306 --> 00:34:35,816
YOU WAIT OUTSIDE, HUH?
OKAY.
YOU DID THAT FINE, AND YOUR
1144
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,018
OKAY.
YOU DID THAT FINE, AND YOUR
JOKES ARE REAL TOPICAL.
1145
00:34:37,042 --> 00:34:37,685
YOU DID THAT FINE, AND YOUR
JOKES ARE REAL TOPICAL.
THANK YOU, SIR.
1146
00:34:37,709 --> 00:34:39,654
JOKES ARE REAL TOPICAL.
THANK YOU, SIR.
YEAH, CAN'T PUT ANYTHING OVER
1147
00:34:39,678 --> 00:34:40,288
THANK YOU, SIR.
YEAH, CAN'T PUT ANYTHING OVER
ON YOU.
1148
00:34:40,312 --> 00:34:41,022
YEAH, CAN'T PUT ANYTHING OVER
ON YOU.
WHO'S THE NEXT...
1149
00:34:41,046 --> 00:34:42,823
ON YOU.
WHO'S THE NEXT...
MR. PINE, THESE ARE BRANCH
1150
00:34:42,847 --> 00:34:43,658
WHO'S THE NEXT...
MR. PINE, THESE ARE BRANCH
AND NORRIS.
1151
00:34:43,682 --> 00:34:45,026
MR. PINE, THESE ARE BRANCH
AND NORRIS.
BRANCH AND NORRIS?
1152
00:34:45,050 --> 00:34:46,094
AND NORRIS.
BRANCH AND NORRIS?
I THINK I SHOULD BE FRANK
1153
00:34:46,118 --> 00:34:46,694
BRANCH AND NORRIS?
I THINK I SHOULD BE FRANK
WITH YOU, SIR.
1154
00:34:46,718 --> 00:34:47,828
I THINK I SHOULD BE FRANK
WITH YOU, SIR.
WE MAY BE A LITTLE TOO HIP FOR
1155
00:34:47,852 --> 00:34:48,329
WITH YOU, SIR.
WE MAY BE A LITTLE TOO HIP FOR
YOUR CLUB.
1156
00:34:48,353 --> 00:34:52,467
WE MAY BE A LITTLE TOO HIP FOR
YOUR CLUB.
WE DO IMPROVISATION.
1157
00:34:52,491 --> 00:34:53,701
YOUR CLUB.
WE DO IMPROVISATION.
OH, TOO HIP, HUH?
1158
00:34:53,725 --> 00:34:54,335
WE DO IMPROVISATION.
OH, TOO HIP, HUH?
YEAH.
1159
00:34:54,359 --> 00:34:55,336
OH, TOO HIP, HUH?
YEAH.
FOR MY CLUB?
1160
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:55,970
YEAH.
FOR MY CLUB?
I THINK SO.
1161
00:34:55,994 --> 00:34:57,172
FOR MY CLUB?
I THINK SO.
BUDDY PINE'S LAUNCHING PAD.
1162
00:34:57,196 --> 00:34:58,073
I THINK SO.
BUDDY PINE'S LAUNCHING PAD.
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
1163
00:34:58,097 --> 00:34:59,207
BUDDY PINE'S LAUNCHING PAD.
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
STEP UP THERE.
1164
00:34:59,231 --> 00:34:59,974
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
STEP UP THERE.
OKAY.
1165
00:34:59,998 --> 00:35:01,209
STEP UP THERE.
OKAY.
TOO HIP.
1166
00:35:01,233 --> 00:35:03,445
OKAY.
TOO HIP.
WELL, THEN, IF YOU'LL GIVE A
1167
00:35:03,469 --> 00:35:05,713
TOO HIP.
WELL, THEN, IF YOU'LL GIVE A
SUGGESTION OF A PLACE, WE'LL DO
1168
00:35:05,737 --> 00:35:07,014
WELL, THEN, IF YOU'LL GIVE A
SUGGESTION OF A PLACE, WE'LL DO
A SCENE FOR YOU.
1169
00:35:07,038 --> 00:35:08,550
SUGGESTION OF A PLACE, WE'LL DO
A SCENE FOR YOU.
ANY PLACE AT ALL, ANY PLACE
1170
00:35:08,574 --> 00:35:09,084
A SCENE FOR YOU.
ANY PLACE AT ALL, ANY PLACE
AT ALL.
1171
00:35:09,108 --> 00:35:10,651
ANY PLACE AT ALL, ANY PLACE
AT ALL.
A PLACE?
1172
00:35:10,675 --> 00:35:11,953
AT ALL.
A PLACE?
YEAH.
1173
00:35:11,977 --> 00:35:13,588
A PLACE?
YEAH.
HOW ABOUT MONTANA?
1174
00:35:13,612 --> 00:35:14,589
YEAH.
HOW ABOUT MONTANA?
MONTANA.
1175
00:35:14,613 --> 00:35:16,357
HOW ABOUT MONTANA?
MONTANA.
UM... COULD YOU BE A LITTLE MORE
1176
00:35:16,381 --> 00:35:17,058
MONTANA.
UM... COULD YOU BE A LITTLE MORE
SPECIFIC?
1177
00:35:17,082 --> 00:35:20,462
UM... COULD YOU BE A LITTLE MORE
SPECIFIC?
OKAY, BUTTE, MONTANA.
1178
00:35:20,486 --> 00:35:22,564
SPECIFIC?
OKAY, BUTTE, MONTANA.
BUTTE, MONTANA.
1179
00:35:22,588 --> 00:35:24,532
OKAY, BUTTE, MONTANA.
BUTTE, MONTANA.
OKAY, HOW ABOUT A CAR DRIVING
1180
00:35:24,556 --> 00:35:26,167
BUTTE, MONTANA.
OKAY, HOW ABOUT A CAR DRIVING
THROUGH BUTTE, MONTANA?
1181
00:35:26,191 --> 00:35:28,503
OKAY, HOW ABOUT A CAR DRIVING
THROUGH BUTTE, MONTANA?
NO, A RESTAURANT IN BUTTE,
1182
00:35:28,527 --> 00:35:29,937
THROUGH BUTTE, MONTANA?
NO, A RESTAURANT IN BUTTE,
MONTANA.
1183
00:35:29,961 --> 00:35:32,307
NO, A RESTAURANT IN BUTTE,
MONTANA.
A DRIVE-IN RESTAURANT.
1184
00:35:32,331 --> 00:35:33,941
MONTANA.
A DRIVE-IN RESTAURANT.
AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT.
1185
00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:35,843
A DRIVE-IN RESTAURANT.
AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT.
OKAY, AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT
1186
00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:37,778
AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT.
OKAY, AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT
WITH A PARKING LOT NEXT TO IT.
1187
00:35:37,802 --> 00:35:38,713
OKAY, AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT
WITH A PARKING LOT NEXT TO IT.
OKAY.
1188
00:35:38,737 --> 00:35:41,015
WITH A PARKING LOT NEXT TO IT.
OKAY.
A WOMAN IS PULLING INTO THE
1189
00:35:41,039 --> 00:35:43,184
OKAY.
A WOMAN IS PULLING INTO THE
PARKING LOT TO GO INTO AN
1190
00:35:43,208 --> 00:35:45,553
A WOMAN IS PULLING INTO THE
PARKING LOT TO GO INTO AN
ITALIAN RESTAURANT IN BUTTE,
1191
00:35:45,577 --> 00:35:46,488
PARKING LOT TO GO INTO AN
ITALIAN RESTAURANT IN BUTTE,
MONTANA.
1192
00:35:46,512 --> 00:35:54,512
ITALIAN RESTAURANT IN BUTTE,
MONTANA.
[IMITATING SIREN]
1193
00:35:54,953 --> 00:35:56,664
MONTANA.
[IMITATING SIREN]
IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG,
1194
00:35:56,688 --> 00:35:57,365
[IMITATING SIREN]
IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG,
OFFICER?
1195
00:35:57,389 --> 00:35:58,600
IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG,
OFFICER?
THERE CERTAINLY IS, I'LL SAY.
1196
00:35:58,624 --> 00:35:59,767
OFFICER?
THERE CERTAINLY IS, I'LL SAY.
YOU JUST MADE A RIGHT-HAND TURN
1197
00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:00,668
THERE CERTAINLY IS, I'LL SAY.
YOU JUST MADE A RIGHT-HAND TURN
FROM THE OUTSIDE LANE.
1198
00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:01,669
YOU JUST MADE A RIGHT-HAND TURN
FROM THE OUTSIDE LANE.
IT'S ILLEGAL HERE IN BUTTE,
1199
00:36:01,693 --> 00:36:02,103
FROM THE OUTSIDE LANE.
IT'S ILLEGAL HERE IN BUTTE,
MONTANA.
1200
00:36:02,127 --> 00:36:02,937
IT'S ILLEGAL HERE IN BUTTE,
MONTANA.
[SIGHS]
1201
00:36:02,961 --> 00:36:04,606
MONTANA.
[SIGHS]
I'M SORRY, OFFICER, BUT I WAS
1202
00:36:04,630 --> 00:36:06,307
[SIGHS]
I'M SORRY, OFFICER, BUT I WAS
HUNGRY, AND I HAPPENED TO SEE
1203
00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:08,075
I'M SORRY, OFFICER, BUT I WAS
HUNGRY, AND I HAPPENED TO SEE
THAT ITALIAN RESTAURANT HERE IN
1204
00:36:08,099 --> 00:36:09,877
HUNGRY, AND I HAPPENED TO SEE
THAT ITALIAN RESTAURANT HERE IN
BUTTE, MONTANA, AND DIDN'T THINK
1205
00:36:09,901 --> 00:36:10,878
THAT ITALIAN RESTAURANT HERE IN
BUTTE, MONTANA, AND DIDN'T THINK
BEFORE TURNING.
1206
00:36:10,902 --> 00:36:12,013
BUTTE, MONTANA, AND DIDN'T THINK
BEFORE TURNING.
WELL, I WON'T GIVE YOU A
1207
00:36:12,037 --> 00:36:13,214
BEFORE TURNING.
WELL, I WON'T GIVE YOU A
TICKET THIS TIME, BUT CONSIDER
1208
00:36:13,238 --> 00:36:13,914
WELL, I WON'T GIVE YOU A
TICKET THIS TIME, BUT CONSIDER
THIS A WARNING.
1209
00:36:13,938 --> 00:36:14,849
TICKET THIS TIME, BUT CONSIDER
THIS A WARNING.
WE HAVE STRICT TRAFFIC
1210
00:36:14,873 --> 00:36:15,950
THIS A WARNING.
WE HAVE STRICT TRAFFIC
REGULATIONS HERE IN BUTTE,
1211
00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:17,084
WE HAVE STRICT TRAFFIC
REGULATIONS HERE IN BUTTE,
MONTANA, AND WE TRY TO ENFORCE
1212
00:36:17,108 --> 00:36:17,519
REGULATIONS HERE IN BUTTE,
MONTANA, AND WE TRY TO ENFORCE
THEM.
1213
00:36:17,543 --> 00:36:18,786
MONTANA, AND WE TRY TO ENFORCE
THEM.
WHOA.
1214
00:36:18,810 --> 00:36:21,689
THEM.
WHOA.
CAN I SUGGEST ANOTHER PLACE?
1215
00:36:21,713 --> 00:36:23,424
WHOA.
CAN I SUGGEST ANOTHER PLACE?
SURE, OF COURSE.
1216
00:36:23,448 --> 00:36:25,826
CAN I SUGGEST ANOTHER PLACE?
SURE, OF COURSE.
OUTSIDE.
1217
00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:26,861
SURE, OF COURSE.
OUTSIDE.
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
1218
00:36:26,885 --> 00:36:27,562
OUTSIDE.
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
PLEASE, PLEASE.
1219
00:36:27,586 --> 00:36:27,995
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
PLEASE, PLEASE.
NEXT!
1220
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:28,863
PLEASE, PLEASE.
NEXT!
I KNEW WE WERE TOO DAMN HIP
1221
00:36:28,887 --> 00:36:29,397
NEXT!
I KNEW WE WERE TOO DAMN HIP
FOR THIS CLUB.
1222
00:36:29,421 --> 00:36:30,165
I KNEW WE WERE TOO DAMN HIP
FOR THIS CLUB.
YOU'RE NOT TOO HIP, SIR.
1223
00:36:30,189 --> 00:36:30,931
FOR THIS CLUB.
YOU'RE NOT TOO HIP, SIR.
I'LL SEE YOU BACK AT THE
1224
00:36:30,955 --> 00:36:31,332
YOU'RE NOT TOO HIP, SIR.
I'LL SEE YOU BACK AT THE
LOFT.
1225
00:36:31,356 --> 00:36:31,899
I'LL SEE YOU BACK AT THE
LOFT.
I'M GOING HOME.
1226
00:36:31,923 --> 00:36:33,201
LOFT.
I'M GOING HOME.
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
1227
00:36:33,225 --> 00:36:34,902
I'M GOING HOME.
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
BRANCH AND NORRIS... VERY GOOD.
1228
00:36:34,926 --> 00:36:36,638
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
BRANCH AND NORRIS... VERY GOOD.
SEND THE NEXT ONE IN, PLEASE.
1229
00:36:36,662 --> 00:36:38,005
BRANCH AND NORRIS... VERY GOOD.
SEND THE NEXT ONE IN, PLEASE.
MITZI FRIEDMAN.
1230
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:39,374
SEND THE NEXT ONE IN, PLEASE.
MITZI FRIEDMAN.
MITZI FRIEDMAN?
1231
00:36:39,398 --> 00:36:40,575
MITZI FRIEDMAN.
MITZI FRIEDMAN?
HI, MITZI.
1232
00:36:40,599 --> 00:36:41,209
MITZI FRIEDMAN?
HI, MITZI.
ARE YOU SCARED?
1233
00:36:41,233 --> 00:36:41,876
HI, MITZI.
ARE YOU SCARED?
A LITTLE NERVOUS?
1234
00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:42,810
ARE YOU SCARED?
A LITTLE NERVOUS?
MAYBE, YEAH.
1235
00:36:42,834 --> 00:36:43,344
A LITTLE NERVOUS?
MAYBE, YEAH.
I THINK I AM.
1236
00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:43,844
MAYBE, YEAH.
I THINK I AM.
YOU ARE?
1237
00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:44,646
I THINK I AM.
YOU ARE?
WOULD YOU GET UP THERE ON THE
1238
00:36:44,670 --> 00:36:45,079
YOU ARE?
WOULD YOU GET UP THERE ON THE
STAGE?
1239
00:36:45,103 --> 00:36:45,513
WOULD YOU GET UP THERE ON THE
STAGE?
SURE.
1240
00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:46,447
STAGE?
SURE.
LET ME FIX THE MICROPHONE FOR
1241
00:36:46,471 --> 00:36:46,814
SURE.
LET ME FIX THE MICROPHONE FOR
YOU.
1242
00:36:46,838 --> 00:36:47,682
LET ME FIX THE MICROPHONE FOR
YOU.
OH, WOULD YOU, PLEASE?
1243
00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:49,184
YOU.
OH, WOULD YOU, PLEASE?
I'LL BE VERY, VERY HAPPY TO,
1244
00:36:49,208 --> 00:36:49,617
OH, WOULD YOU, PLEASE?
I'LL BE VERY, VERY HAPPY TO,
DEAR.
1245
00:36:49,641 --> 00:36:50,285
I'LL BE VERY, VERY HAPPY TO,
DEAR.
THERE YOU ARE.
1246
00:36:50,309 --> 00:36:51,352
DEAR.
THERE YOU ARE.
RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY MOUTH.
1247
00:36:51,376 --> 00:36:52,287
THERE YOU ARE.
RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY MOUTH.
NO, NOT RIGHT IN FRONT OF
1248
00:36:52,311 --> 00:36:52,787
RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY MOUTH.
NO, NOT RIGHT IN FRONT OF
YOUR MOUTH.
1249
00:36:52,811 --> 00:36:53,421
NO, NOT RIGHT IN FRONT OF
YOUR MOUTH.
FIX IT LIKE THAT.
1250
00:36:53,445 --> 00:36:54,589
YOUR MOUTH.
FIX IT LIKE THAT.
OH.
1251
00:36:54,613 --> 00:36:55,523
FIX IT LIKE THAT.
OH.
IS THAT RIGHT?
1252
00:36:55,547 --> 00:36:56,457
OH.
IS THAT RIGHT?
IT'S RIGHT.
1253
00:36:56,481 --> 00:36:58,025
IS THAT RIGHT?
IT'S RIGHT.
OKAY.
1254
00:36:58,049 --> 00:36:58,493
IT'S RIGHT.
OKAY.
HI.
1255
00:36:58,517 --> 00:37:00,328
OKAY.
HI.
I USED TO BE A CHILD OF THE
1256
00:37:00,352 --> 00:37:02,263
HI.
I USED TO BE A CHILD OF THE
'60s, AND NOW I'M A HOUSEWIFE
1257
00:37:02,287 --> 00:37:04,165
I USED TO BE A CHILD OF THE
'60s, AND NOW I'M A HOUSEWIFE
WITH TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
1258
00:37:04,189 --> 00:37:06,234
'60s, AND NOW I'M A HOUSEWIFE
WITH TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
AND I WROTE A BALLAD ABOUT THIS
1259
00:37:06,258 --> 00:37:10,438
WITH TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
AND I WROTE A BALLAD ABOUT THIS
EXPERIENCE.
1260
00:37:10,462 --> 00:37:14,442
AND I WROTE A BALLAD ABOUT THIS
EXPERIENCE.
♪ I USED TO SELL FLOWERS
1261
00:37:14,466 --> 00:37:16,844
EXPERIENCE.
♪ I USED TO SELL FLOWERS
TO MAKE SPARE CHANGE ♪
1262
00:37:16,868 --> 00:37:19,847
♪ I USED TO SELL FLOWERS
TO MAKE SPARE CHANGE ♪
♪ NOW I STAY HOME
1263
00:37:19,871 --> 00:37:24,185
TO MAKE SPARE CHANGE ♪
♪ NOW I STAY HOME
AND CHANGE THE KIDS' DIAPERS ♪
1264
00:37:24,209 --> 00:37:28,789
♪ NOW I STAY HOME
AND CHANGE THE KIDS' DIAPERS ♪
♪ IT'S FUNNY... ISN'T IT? ♪
1265
00:37:28,813 --> 00:37:31,459
AND CHANGE THE KIDS' DIAPERS ♪
♪ IT'S FUNNY... ISN'T IT? ♪
♪ I USED TO HANG AROUND THE PAD
1266
00:37:31,483 --> 00:37:33,961
♪ IT'S FUNNY... ISN'T IT? ♪
♪ I USED TO HANG AROUND THE PAD
AND SMOKE A LOT OF GRASS ♪
1267
00:37:33,985 --> 00:37:36,397
♪ I USED TO HANG AROUND THE PAD
AND SMOKE A LOT OF GRASS ♪
♪ AND NOW I HANG THE WASH
1268
00:37:36,421 --> 00:37:37,732
AND SMOKE A LOT OF GRASS ♪
♪ AND NOW I HANG THE WASH
AROUND THE HOUSE
1269
00:37:37,756 --> 00:37:41,569
♪ AND NOW I HANG THE WASH
AROUND THE HOUSE
AND MY HUSBAND MOWS THE GRASS ♪
1270
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:46,307
AROUND THE HOUSE
AND MY HUSBAND MOWS THE GRASS ♪
♪ IT'S FUNNY... ISN'T IT? ♪
1271
00:37:46,331 --> 00:37:48,909
AND MY HUSBAND MOWS THE GRASS ♪
♪ IT'S FUNNY... ISN'T IT? ♪
♪ I USED TO SMOKE A LOT OF POT
1272
00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:51,812
♪ IT'S FUNNY... ISN'T IT? ♪
♪ I USED TO SMOKE A LOT OF POT
AND POP A LOT OF PILLS ♪
1273
00:37:51,836 --> 00:37:54,716
♪ I USED TO SMOKE A LOT OF POT
AND POP A LOT OF PILLS ♪
♪ NOW I WASH THE POTS AND PANS,
1274
00:37:54,740 --> 00:37:55,250
AND POP A LOT OF PILLS ♪
♪ NOW I WASH THE POTS AND PANS,
AND THE PILLS
1275
00:37:55,274 --> 00:37:58,386
♪ NOW I WASH THE POTS AND PANS,
AND THE PILLS
HAVE A CHILDPROOF TOP ♪
1276
00:37:58,410 --> 00:38:00,521
AND THE PILLS
HAVE A CHILDPROOF TOP ♪
♪ IT'S SO FUNNY...
1277
00:38:00,545 --> 00:38:03,424
HAVE A CHILDPROOF TOP ♪
♪ IT'S SO FUNNY...
I COULD DIE ♪
1278
00:38:03,448 --> 00:38:04,626
♪ IT'S SO FUNNY...
I COULD DIE ♪
VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.
1279
00:38:04,650 --> 00:38:05,627
I COULD DIE ♪
VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.
VERY GOOD.
1280
00:38:05,651 --> 00:38:06,661
VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.
VERY GOOD.
VERY GOOD.
1281
00:38:06,685 --> 00:38:09,530
VERY GOOD.
VERY GOOD.
THANK YOU.
1282
00:38:09,554 --> 00:38:11,366
VERY GOOD.
THANK YOU.
MAY I SAY SOMETHING, MY DEAR?
1283
00:38:11,390 --> 00:38:12,700
THANK YOU.
MAY I SAY SOMETHING, MY DEAR?
YOU'RE VERY HIP, DEEP.
1284
00:38:12,724 --> 00:38:13,735
MAY I SAY SOMETHING, MY DEAR?
YOU'RE VERY HIP, DEEP.
VERY DEEP, ALSO.
1285
00:38:13,759 --> 00:38:14,602
YOU'RE VERY HIP, DEEP.
VERY DEEP, ALSO.
THANK YOU.
1286
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:16,404
VERY DEEP, ALSO.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND YOU
1287
00:38:16,428 --> 00:38:17,405
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND YOU
WAIT OUTSIDE, PLEASE?
1288
00:38:17,429 --> 00:38:18,172
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND YOU
WAIT OUTSIDE, PLEASE?
OKAY.
1289
00:38:18,196 --> 00:38:19,006
WAIT OUTSIDE, PLEASE?
OKAY.
WANDA, SHOW IN THE NEXT ONE,
1290
00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:19,440
OKAY.
WANDA, SHOW IN THE NEXT ONE,
PLEASE.
1291
00:38:19,464 --> 00:38:20,642
WANDA, SHOW IN THE NEXT ONE,
PLEASE.
OH, BOY.
1292
00:38:20,666 --> 00:38:22,910
PLEASE.
OH, BOY.
OOH, OOH.
1293
00:38:22,934 --> 00:38:24,479
OH, BOY.
OOH, OOH.
DOUGLAS BREWSTER.
1294
00:38:24,503 --> 00:38:26,147
OOH, OOH.
DOUGLAS BREWSTER.
DOUGLAS?
1295
00:38:26,171 --> 00:38:27,915
DOUGLAS BREWSTER.
DOUGLAS?
JUST ON MY WAY HOME.
1296
00:38:27,939 --> 00:38:28,583
DOUGLAS?
JUST ON MY WAY HOME.
MR. BREWSTER?
1297
00:38:28,607 --> 00:38:29,417
JUST ON MY WAY HOME.
MR. BREWSTER?
HI.
1298
00:38:29,441 --> 00:38:30,285
MR. BREWSTER?
HI.
HI.
1299
00:38:30,309 --> 00:38:31,519
HI.
HI.
STEP RIGHT UP ON THE STAGE.
1300
00:38:31,543 --> 00:38:32,420
HI.
STEP RIGHT UP ON THE STAGE.
YOU CAN TAKE THAT CHAIR.
1301
00:38:32,444 --> 00:38:33,388
STEP RIGHT UP ON THE STAGE.
YOU CAN TAKE THAT CHAIR.
I'LL TAKE IT AWAY FOR YOU,
1302
00:38:33,412 --> 00:38:33,954
YOU CAN TAKE THAT CHAIR.
I'LL TAKE IT AWAY FOR YOU,
MR. BREWSTER.
1303
00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:35,156
I'LL TAKE IT AWAY FOR YOU,
MR. BREWSTER.
I HAVE SOME GROCERIES HERE.
1304
00:38:35,180 --> 00:38:36,090
MR. BREWSTER.
I HAVE SOME GROCERIES HERE.
YOU HAVE GROCERIES?
1305
00:38:36,114 --> 00:38:36,557
I HAVE SOME GROCERIES HERE.
YOU HAVE GROCERIES?
YEAH.
1306
00:38:36,581 --> 00:38:36,991
YOU HAVE GROCERIES?
YEAH.
YEAH.
1307
00:38:37,015 --> 00:38:37,925
YEAH.
YEAH.
WELL, DOESN'T MAKE ANY
1308
00:38:37,949 --> 00:38:39,093
YEAH.
WELL, DOESN'T MAKE ANY
DIFFERENCE WHAT BUSINESS YOU'RE
1309
00:38:39,117 --> 00:38:39,460
WELL, DOESN'T MAKE ANY
DIFFERENCE WHAT BUSINESS YOU'RE
IN.
1310
00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:41,195
DIFFERENCE WHAT BUSINESS YOU'RE
IN.
YEAH.
1311
00:38:41,219 --> 00:38:43,130
IN.
YEAH.
GET RIGHT, YOU KNOW... SELL
1312
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:43,498
YEAH.
GET RIGHT, YOU KNOW... SELL
IT.
1313
00:38:43,522 --> 00:38:44,064
GET RIGHT, YOU KNOW... SELL
IT.
RIGHT HERE.
1314
00:38:44,088 --> 00:38:45,333
IT.
RIGHT HERE.
MICROPHONE, YEAH.
1315
00:38:45,357 --> 00:38:46,401
RIGHT HERE.
MICROPHONE, YEAH.
LET ME JUST PUT THIS HERE.
1316
00:38:46,425 --> 00:38:47,101
MICROPHONE, YEAH.
LET ME JUST PUT THIS HERE.
NO, NO.
1317
00:38:47,125 --> 00:38:48,670
LET ME JUST PUT THIS HERE.
NO, NO.
THAT CHAIR IS RESERVED FOR THE
1318
00:38:48,694 --> 00:38:49,136
NO, NO.
THAT CHAIR IS RESERVED FOR THE
SHOW.
1319
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,505
THAT CHAIR IS RESERVED FOR THE
SHOW.
OKAY.
1320
00:38:50,529 --> 00:38:53,240
SHOW.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL...
1321
00:38:53,264 --> 00:38:55,109
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL...
MY NAME IS DOUGLAS BREWSTER.
1322
00:38:55,133 --> 00:38:56,344
ALL RIGHT, I'LL...
MY NAME IS DOUGLAS BREWSTER.
I'M PART OWNER OF
1323
00:38:56,368 --> 00:38:58,346
MY NAME IS DOUGLAS BREWSTER.
I'M PART OWNER OF
BREWSTER BROTHERS HARDWARE OVER
1324
00:38:58,370 --> 00:38:59,314
I'M PART OWNER OF
BREWSTER BROTHERS HARDWARE OVER
ON McKINLEY.
1325
00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:00,948
BREWSTER BROTHERS HARDWARE OVER
ON McKINLEY.
UH... IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE
1326
00:39:00,972 --> 00:39:02,517
ON McKINLEY.
UH... IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE
EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS.
1327
00:39:02,541 --> 00:39:04,985
UH... IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE
EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS.
SEE, PEOPLE SAY I'M FUNNY, AND
1328
00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:07,588
EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS.
SEE, PEOPLE SAY I'M FUNNY, AND
THEY SAY I SHOULD BE A COMEDIAN.
1329
00:39:07,612 --> 00:39:09,624
SEE, PEOPLE SAY I'M FUNNY, AND
THEY SAY I SHOULD BE A COMEDIAN.
I GUESS ONE GUY COMES INTO OUR
1330
00:39:09,648 --> 00:39:11,759
THEY SAY I SHOULD BE A COMEDIAN.
I GUESS ONE GUY COMES INTO OUR
STORE AND ASKS FOR A NUMBER-2
1331
00:39:11,783 --> 00:39:13,928
I GUESS ONE GUY COMES INTO OUR
STORE AND ASKS FOR A NUMBER-2
REDWOOD STAIN BECAUSE HE WANTS
1332
00:39:13,952 --> 00:39:15,830
STORE AND ASKS FOR A NUMBER-2
REDWOOD STAIN BECAUSE HE WANTS
TO VARNISH HIS KID'S DESK.
1333
00:39:15,854 --> 00:39:17,998
REDWOOD STAIN BECAUSE HE WANTS
TO VARNISH HIS KID'S DESK.
WELL, I SAID, "ALL RIGHT, I'LL
1334
00:39:18,022 --> 00:39:20,301
TO VARNISH HIS KID'S DESK.
WELL, I SAID, "ALL RIGHT, I'LL
GIVE YOU NUMBER-2 STAIN, BUT YOU
1335
00:39:20,325 --> 00:39:22,403
WELL, I SAID, "ALL RIGHT, I'LL
GIVE YOU NUMBER-2 STAIN, BUT YOU
BETTER BE PREPARED TO EAT OFF
1336
00:39:22,427 --> 00:39:22,970
GIVE YOU NUMBER-2 STAIN, BUT YOU
BETTER BE PREPARED TO EAT OFF
IT."
1337
00:39:22,994 --> 00:39:24,138
BETTER BE PREPARED TO EAT OFF
IT."
[CHUCKLES]
1338
00:39:24,162 --> 00:39:26,307
IT."
[CHUCKLES]
SEE, A NUMBER-2 STAIN IS WHAT
1339
00:39:26,331 --> 00:39:28,476
[CHUCKLES]
SEE, A NUMBER-2 STAIN IS WHAT
YOU USE FOR A KITCHEN TABLE, YOU
1340
00:39:28,500 --> 00:39:29,744
SEE, A NUMBER-2 STAIN IS WHAT
YOU USE FOR A KITCHEN TABLE, YOU
KNOW?
1341
00:39:29,768 --> 00:39:31,813
YOU USE FOR A KITCHEN TABLE, YOU
KNOW?
IT'S A CLASSIC HARDWARE STORY.
1342
00:39:31,837 --> 00:39:33,581
KNOW?
IT'S A CLASSIC HARDWARE STORY.
MAYBE I SHOULD PUT THIS DOWN.
1343
00:39:33,605 --> 00:39:35,783
IT'S A CLASSIC HARDWARE STORY.
MAYBE I SHOULD PUT THIS DOWN.
TRY WITH THAT.
1344
00:39:35,807 --> 00:39:36,818
MAYBE I SHOULD PUT THIS DOWN.
TRY WITH THAT.
ALL RIGHT.
1345
00:39:36,842 --> 00:39:39,320
TRY WITH THAT.
ALL RIGHT.
I WAS ALSO FUNNY ONCE WHEN I WAS
1346
00:39:39,344 --> 00:39:39,854
ALL RIGHT.
I WAS ALSO FUNNY ONCE WHEN I WAS
16.
1347
00:39:39,878 --> 00:39:41,889
I WAS ALSO FUNNY ONCE WHEN I WAS
16.
I WAS ON VACATION IN THIS
1348
00:39:41,913 --> 00:39:44,291
16.
I WAS ON VACATION IN THIS
COTTAGE IN WISCONSIN, WHERE MY
1349
00:39:44,315 --> 00:39:45,025
I WAS ON VACATION IN THIS
COTTAGE IN WISCONSIN, WHERE MY
MOM...
1350
00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:46,694
COTTAGE IN WISCONSIN, WHERE MY
MOM...
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
1351
00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:47,762
MOM...
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
MR. BREWSTER.
1352
00:39:47,786 --> 00:39:48,596
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
MR. BREWSTER.
OH, OKAY.
1353
00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:49,697
MR. BREWSTER.
OH, OKAY.
I DRANK SOME BEER.
1354
00:39:49,721 --> 00:39:51,466
OH, OKAY.
I DRANK SOME BEER.
I WAS IN THE SNOW, AND IT STUCK
1355
00:39:51,490 --> 00:39:53,267
I DRANK SOME BEER.
I WAS IN THE SNOW, AND IT STUCK
TO MY LIPS, AND IT PULLED MY LIP
1356
00:39:53,291 --> 00:39:54,001
I WAS IN THE SNOW, AND IT STUCK
TO MY LIPS, AND IT PULLED MY LIP
RIGHT OFF.
1357
00:39:54,025 --> 00:39:55,636
TO MY LIPS, AND IT PULLED MY LIP
RIGHT OFF.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
1358
00:39:55,660 --> 00:39:57,037
RIGHT OFF.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
1359
00:39:57,061 --> 00:39:58,138
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
WAIT OUTSIDE.
1360
00:39:58,162 --> 00:39:58,606
YOU WERE VERY GOOD.
WAIT OUTSIDE.
OKAY!
1361
00:39:58,630 --> 00:39:59,474
WAIT OUTSIDE.
OKAY!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
1362
00:39:59,498 --> 00:40:00,007
OKAY!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
MR. BREWSTER.
1363
00:40:00,031 --> 00:40:01,208
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
MR. BREWSTER.
THANK YOU.
1364
00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:02,042
MR. BREWSTER.
THANK YOU.
ANY MORE?
1365
00:40:02,066 --> 00:40:03,143
THANK YOU.
ANY MORE?
THAT'S IT.
1366
00:40:03,167 --> 00:40:05,246
ANY MORE?
THAT'S IT.
WELL, GET THEM ALL IN HERE,
1367
00:40:05,270 --> 00:40:06,080
THAT'S IT.
WELL, GET THEM ALL IN HERE,
PLEASE.
1368
00:40:06,104 --> 00:40:07,749
WELL, GET THEM ALL IN HERE,
PLEASE.
COME ON IN, EVERYBODY.
1369
00:40:07,773 --> 00:40:09,384
PLEASE.
COME ON IN, EVERYBODY.
HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.
1370
00:40:09,408 --> 00:40:11,118
COME ON IN, EVERYBODY.
HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.
IN HERE?
1371
00:40:11,142 --> 00:40:13,053
HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.
IN HERE?
JUST STEP AROUND, YOUNG
1372
00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:13,821
IN HERE?
JUST STEP AROUND, YOUNG
TALENT.
1373
00:40:13,845 --> 00:40:15,956
JUST STEP AROUND, YOUNG
TALENT.
YOUNG TALENT, STEP RIGHT OVER
1374
00:40:15,980 --> 00:40:16,591
TALENT.
YOUNG TALENT, STEP RIGHT OVER
HERE.
1375
00:40:16,615 --> 00:40:18,526
YOUNG TALENT, STEP RIGHT OVER
HERE.
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I HAVE
1376
00:40:18,550 --> 00:40:20,327
HERE.
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I HAVE
NEVER SEEN A GROUP WITH MORE
1377
00:40:20,351 --> 00:40:21,562
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I HAVE
NEVER SEEN A GROUP WITH MORE
POTENTIAL BEFORE.
1378
00:40:21,586 --> 00:40:22,530
NEVER SEEN A GROUP WITH MORE
POTENTIAL BEFORE.
RIGHT, WANDA?
1379
00:40:22,554 --> 00:40:23,698
POTENTIAL BEFORE.
RIGHT, WANDA?
RIGHT, BUDDY.
1380
00:40:23,722 --> 00:40:25,733
RIGHT, WANDA?
RIGHT, BUDDY.
YOU SURE HAVE AN EYE FOR TALENT.
1381
00:40:25,757 --> 00:40:27,668
RIGHT, BUDDY.
YOU SURE HAVE AN EYE FOR TALENT.
BUT ALL YOU NEED... ALL YOU
1382
00:40:27,692 --> 00:40:29,637
YOU SURE HAVE AN EYE FOR TALENT.
BUT ALL YOU NEED... ALL YOU
NEED IS DIRECTION, AND YOU NEED
1383
00:40:29,661 --> 00:40:30,471
BUT ALL YOU NEED... ALL YOU
NEED IS DIRECTION, AND YOU NEED
SCHOOLING.
1384
00:40:30,495 --> 00:40:32,640
NEED IS DIRECTION, AND YOU NEED
SCHOOLING.
AND NOW LET ME SAY SOMETHING TO
1385
00:40:32,664 --> 00:40:33,207
SCHOOLING.
AND NOW LET ME SAY SOMETHING TO
YOU.
1386
00:40:33,231 --> 00:40:35,142
AND NOW LET ME SAY SOMETHING TO
YOU.
I HAVE A WORKSHOP, A COMEDY
1387
00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:37,011
YOU.
I HAVE A WORKSHOP, A COMEDY
WORKSHOP, THAT I RUN EVERY
1388
00:40:37,035 --> 00:40:38,579
I HAVE A WORKSHOP, A COMEDY
WORKSHOP, THAT I RUN EVERY
TUESDAY, MY WORKSHOP.
1389
00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:40,648
WORKSHOP, THAT I RUN EVERY
TUESDAY, MY WORKSHOP.
TEACHES YOU DIALECTS, TIMING,
1390
00:40:40,672 --> 00:40:42,617
TUESDAY, MY WORKSHOP.
TEACHES YOU DIALECTS, TIMING,
WARDROBE, HOW TO MAKE TRAVEL
1391
00:40:42,641 --> 00:40:43,718
TEACHES YOU DIALECTS, TIMING,
WARDROBE, HOW TO MAKE TRAVEL
ARRANGEMENTS.
1392
00:40:43,742 --> 00:40:49,223
WARDROBE, HOW TO MAKE TRAVEL
ARRANGEMENTS.
AND IT'S ONLY $140 A SESSION.
1393
00:40:49,247 --> 00:40:51,325
ARRANGEMENTS.
AND IT'S ONLY $140 A SESSION.
BUT UNFORTUNATELY I ONLY HAVE
1394
00:40:51,349 --> 00:40:52,960
AND IT'S ONLY $140 A SESSION.
BUT UNFORTUNATELY I ONLY HAVE
ROOM FOR OH...
1395
00:40:52,984 --> 00:40:54,028
BUT UNFORTUNATELY I ONLY HAVE
ROOM FOR OH...
FOR, UH...
1396
00:40:54,052 --> 00:40:56,464
ROOM FOR OH...
FOR, UH...
FIVE.
1397
00:40:56,488 --> 00:40:57,532
FOR, UH...
FIVE.
FIVE.
1398
00:40:57,556 --> 00:40:58,299
FIVE.
FIVE.
FIVE, RIGHT.
1399
00:40:58,323 --> 00:40:59,801
FIVE.
FIVE, RIGHT.
SO CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF
1400
00:40:59,825 --> 00:41:00,200
FIVE, RIGHT.
SO CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF
YOU.
1401
00:41:00,224 --> 00:41:01,669
SO CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF
YOU.
ALWAYS KEEP THEM LAUGHING, AND
1402
00:41:01,693 --> 00:41:02,937
YOU.
ALWAYS KEEP THEM LAUGHING, AND
I'LL SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY.
1403
00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:03,438
ALWAYS KEEP THEM LAUGHING, AND
I'LL SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY.
OH!
1404
00:41:03,462 --> 00:41:05,139
I'LL SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY.
OH!
IF YOU HAVE THE CASH.
1405
00:41:05,163 --> 00:41:06,006
OH!
IF YOU HAVE THE CASH.
THANK YOU.
1406
00:41:06,030 --> 00:41:07,475
IF YOU HAVE THE CASH.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1407
00:41:07,499 --> 00:41:08,342
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.
1408
00:41:08,366 --> 00:41:09,043
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.
COME ON, WANDA.
1409
00:41:09,067 --> 00:41:09,677
VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.
COME ON, WANDA.
LET'S LOCK UP.
1410
00:41:09,701 --> 00:41:10,578
COME ON, WANDA.
LET'S LOCK UP.
LET'S LOCK UP.
1411
00:41:10,602 --> 00:41:12,212
LET'S LOCK UP.
LET'S LOCK UP.
JUST CLOSE THE DOOR.
1412
00:41:12,236 --> 00:41:14,838
LET'S LOCK UP.
JUST CLOSE THE DOOR.
TAKE THAT BAG.
1413
00:41:28,686 --> 00:41:33,267
GOOD EVENING.
I'M JOAN FACE AND WELCOME TO
"ON THE SPOT."
1414
00:41:33,291 --> 00:41:34,802
I'M JOAN FACE AND WELCOME TO
"ON THE SPOT."
WELL, IT'S SPRING, AND ACROSS
1415
00:41:34,826 --> 00:41:36,370
"ON THE SPOT."
WELL, IT'S SPRING, AND ACROSS
THE COUNTRY OUTDOOR AMUSEMENT
1416
00:41:36,394 --> 00:41:37,972
WELL, IT'S SPRING, AND ACROSS
THE COUNTRY OUTDOOR AMUSEMENT
PARKS WILL BE OPENING AGAIN AND
1417
00:41:37,996 --> 00:41:39,540
THE COUNTRY OUTDOOR AMUSEMENT
PARKS WILL BE OPENING AGAIN AND
KIDS WILL BE FLOCKING TO THEM,
1418
00:41:39,564 --> 00:41:40,842
PARKS WILL BE OPENING AGAIN AND
KIDS WILL BE FLOCKING TO THEM,
ANXIOUS TO SPEND THEIR NICKELS
1419
00:41:40,866 --> 00:41:42,076
KIDS WILL BE FLOCKING TO THEM,
ANXIOUS TO SPEND THEIR NICKELS
AND DIMES FOR AN AFTERNOON OF
1420
00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:43,110
ANXIOUS TO SPEND THEIR NICKELS
AND DIMES FOR AN AFTERNOON OF
THRILLS.
1421
00:41:43,134 --> 00:41:44,679
AND DIMES FOR AN AFTERNOON OF
THRILLS.
SOUNDS INNOCENT ENOUGH.
1422
00:41:44,703 --> 00:41:45,947
THRILLS.
SOUNDS INNOCENT ENOUGH.
BUT WHAT WORRIES US IS THE
1423
00:41:45,971 --> 00:41:47,281
SOUNDS INNOCENT ENOUGH.
BUT WHAT WORRIES US IS THE
NUMBER OF INJURIES AND EVEN
1424
00:41:47,305 --> 00:41:48,816
BUT WHAT WORRIES US IS THE
NUMBER OF INJURIES AND EVEN
FATALITIES THAT WILL TAKE PLACE
1425
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,284
NUMBER OF INJURIES AND EVEN
FATALITIES THAT WILL TAKE PLACE
AT AMUSEMENT PARKS BECAUSE OF
1426
00:41:50,308 --> 00:41:51,986
FATALITIES THAT WILL TAKE PLACE
AT AMUSEMENT PARKS BECAUSE OF
SHODDY CONSTRUCTION, POORLY
1427
00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:53,654
AT AMUSEMENT PARKS BECAUSE OF
SHODDY CONSTRUCTION, POORLY
SUPERVISED FACILITIES, AND
1428
00:41:53,678 --> 00:41:55,456
SHODDY CONSTRUCTION, POORLY
SUPERVISED FACILITIES, AND
CORRUPT SAFETY INSPECTORS.
1429
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,291
SUPERVISED FACILITIES, AND
CORRUPT SAFETY INSPECTORS.
WITH US TONIGHT IS A MAN WHO IS
1430
00:41:57,315 --> 00:41:59,159
CORRUPT SAFETY INSPECTORS.
WITH US TONIGHT IS A MAN WHO IS
NO STRANGER TO THE "ON THE SPOT"
1431
00:41:59,183 --> 00:42:00,094
WITH US TONIGHT IS A MAN WHO IS
NO STRANGER TO THE "ON THE SPOT"
HOT SEAT.
1432
00:42:00,118 --> 00:42:01,829
NO STRANGER TO THE "ON THE SPOT"
HOT SEAT.
HE IS THE OWNER, OPERATOR, AND
1433
00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:03,364
HOT SEAT.
HE IS THE OWNER, OPERATOR, AND
SOLE STOCKHOLDER OF ONE OF THE
1434
00:42:03,388 --> 00:42:04,532
HE IS THE OWNER, OPERATOR, AND
SOLE STOCKHOLDER OF ONE OF THE
NEWEST OF THESE PARKS,
1435
00:42:04,556 --> 00:42:06,901
SOLE STOCKHOLDER OF ONE OF THE
NEWEST OF THESE PARKS,
IRWIN MAINWAY'S KIDDIE FUN WORLD
1436
00:42:06,925 --> 00:42:08,135
NEWEST OF THESE PARKS,
IRWIN MAINWAY'S KIDDIE FUN WORLD
OF RAHWAY, NEW JERSEY,
1437
00:42:08,159 --> 00:42:09,804
IRWIN MAINWAY'S KIDDIE FUN WORLD
OF RAHWAY, NEW JERSEY,
MR. IRWIN MAINWAY.
1438
00:42:09,828 --> 00:42:13,674
OF RAHWAY, NEW JERSEY,
MR. IRWIN MAINWAY.
THANK YOU, MISS FACE.
1439
00:42:13,698 --> 00:42:14,842
MR. IRWIN MAINWAY.
THANK YOU, MISS FACE.
MR. MAINWAY, OUR
1440
00:42:14,866 --> 00:42:16,511
THANK YOU, MISS FACE.
MR. MAINWAY, OUR
INVESTIGATIVE TEAM HAS VISITED
1441
00:42:16,535 --> 00:42:18,112
MR. MAINWAY, OUR
INVESTIGATIVE TEAM HAS VISITED
YOUR PARK AND BROUGHT BACK A
1442
00:42:18,136 --> 00:42:19,981
INVESTIGATIVE TEAM HAS VISITED
YOUR PARK AND BROUGHT BACK A
DEEPLY DISTURBING REPORT.
1443
00:42:20,005 --> 00:42:22,082
YOUR PARK AND BROUGHT BACK A
DEEPLY DISTURBING REPORT.
IN SHORT, THEY SAY, AND I QUOTE,
1444
00:42:22,106 --> 00:42:24,084
DEEPLY DISTURBING REPORT.
IN SHORT, THEY SAY, AND I QUOTE,
"NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE
1445
00:42:24,108 --> 00:42:26,253
IN SHORT, THEY SAY, AND I QUOTE,
"NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE
LEISURE INDUSTRY HAS THERE BEEN
1446
00:42:26,277 --> 00:42:27,889
"NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE
LEISURE INDUSTRY HAS THERE BEEN
SUCH A THREAT TO THE HEALTH AND
1447
00:42:27,913 --> 00:42:29,289
LEISURE INDUSTRY HAS THERE BEEN
SUCH A THREAT TO THE HEALTH AND
WELFARE OF OUR CHILDREN AS
1448
00:42:29,313 --> 00:42:30,491
SUCH A THREAT TO THE HEALTH AND
WELFARE OF OUR CHILDREN AS
IRWIN MAINWAY'S KIDDIE
1449
00:42:30,515 --> 00:42:31,592
WELFARE OF OUR CHILDREN AS
IRWIN MAINWAY'S KIDDIE
FUN WORLD."
1450
00:42:31,616 --> 00:42:33,394
IRWIN MAINWAY'S KIDDIE
FUN WORLD."
AW, NOW, MISS FACE, IS THIS
1451
00:42:33,418 --> 00:42:35,062
FUN WORLD."
AW, NOW, MISS FACE, IS THIS
JUST GONNA BE ANOTHER ONE OF
1452
00:42:35,086 --> 00:42:37,598
AW, NOW, MISS FACE, IS THIS
JUST GONNA BE ANOTHER ONE OF
YOUR PERSONAL ATTACKS?
1453
00:42:37,622 --> 00:42:39,099
JUST GONNA BE ANOTHER ONE OF
YOUR PERSONAL ATTACKS?
MR. MAINWAY, ISN'T IT TRUE
1454
00:42:39,123 --> 00:42:40,601
YOUR PERSONAL ATTACKS?
MR. MAINWAY, ISN'T IT TRUE
THAT AT KIDDIE FUN WORLD, YOU
1455
00:42:40,625 --> 00:42:42,036
MR. MAINWAY, ISN'T IT TRUE
THAT AT KIDDIE FUN WORLD, YOU
HAVE A RIDE KNOWN AS THUNDER
1456
00:42:42,060 --> 00:42:43,137
THAT AT KIDDIE FUN WORLD, YOU
HAVE A RIDE KNOWN AS THUNDER
PLUNGE?
1457
00:42:43,161 --> 00:42:44,572
HAVE A RIDE KNOWN AS THUNDER
PLUNGE?
THUNDER PLUNGE IS VERY, VERY
1458
00:42:44,596 --> 00:42:45,673
PLUNGE?
THUNDER PLUNGE IS VERY, VERY
POPULAR WITH THE KIDS.
1459
00:42:45,697 --> 00:42:47,207
THUNDER PLUNGE IS VERY, VERY
POPULAR WITH THE KIDS.
ISN'T IT TRUE THAT IN THIS
1460
00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:48,709
POPULAR WITH THE KIDS.
ISN'T IT TRUE THAT IN THIS
RIDE, YOU PUT SMALL CHILDREN
1461
00:42:48,733 --> 00:42:50,210
ISN'T IT TRUE THAT IN THIS
RIDE, YOU PUT SMALL CHILDREN
INTO GROCERY SHOPPING CARTS AND
1462
00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:51,846
RIDE, YOU PUT SMALL CHILDREN
INTO GROCERY SHOPPING CARTS AND
SEND THEM CAREENING DOWN A STEEP
1463
00:42:51,870 --> 00:42:54,348
INTO GROCERY SHOPPING CARTS AND
SEND THEM CAREENING DOWN A STEEP
INCLINE INTO A GRAVEL PIT?
1464
00:42:54,372 --> 00:42:55,983
SEND THEM CAREENING DOWN A STEEP
INCLINE INTO A GRAVEL PIT?
I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT
1465
00:42:56,007 --> 00:42:57,585
INCLINE INTO A GRAVEL PIT?
I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT
EACH CART IS EQUIPPED WITH A
1466
00:42:57,609 --> 00:42:58,986
I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT
EACH CART IS EQUIPPED WITH A
LITTLE FOAM CUSHION, TO CUSHION
1467
00:42:59,010 --> 00:43:00,521
EACH CART IS EQUIPPED WITH A
LITTLE FOAM CUSHION, TO CUSHION
THE KID.
1468
00:43:00,545 --> 00:43:02,289
LITTLE FOAM CUSHION, TO CUSHION
THE KID.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT ELSE THE
1469
00:43:02,313 --> 00:43:03,658
THE KID.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT ELSE THE
CART IS EQUIPPED WITH,
1470
00:43:03,682 --> 00:43:05,225
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT ELSE THE
CART IS EQUIPPED WITH,
MR. MAINWAY... A LITTLE SIGN
1471
00:43:05,249 --> 00:43:06,761
CART IS EQUIPPED WITH,
MR. MAINWAY... A LITTLE SIGN
THAT READS "PROPERTY OF A&P
1472
00:43:06,785 --> 00:43:07,562
MR. MAINWAY... A LITTLE SIGN
THAT READS "PROPERTY OF A&P
FOOD STORES.
1473
00:43:07,586 --> 00:43:09,329
THAT READS "PROPERTY OF A&P
FOOD STORES.
DO NOT REMOVE FROM PARKING LOT."
1474
00:43:09,353 --> 00:43:11,198
FOOD STORES.
DO NOT REMOVE FROM PARKING LOT."
MISS FACE, A&P IS OUT OF
1475
00:43:11,222 --> 00:43:11,999
DO NOT REMOVE FROM PARKING LOT."
MISS FACE, A&P IS OUT OF
BUSINESS.
1476
00:43:12,023 --> 00:43:13,067
MISS FACE, A&P IS OUT OF
BUSINESS.
I ACQUIRED THE CARTS...
1477
00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:14,735
BUSINESS.
I ACQUIRED THE CARTS...
MR. MAINWAY, A&P IS NOT OUT
1478
00:43:14,759 --> 00:43:15,536
I ACQUIRED THE CARTS...
MR. MAINWAY, A&P IS NOT OUT
OF BUSINESS.
1479
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,304
MR. MAINWAY, A&P IS NOT OUT
OF BUSINESS.
IT IS A NATIONAL CHAIN WITH OVER
1480
00:43:17,328 --> 00:43:18,940
OF BUSINESS.
IT IS A NATIONAL CHAIN WITH OVER
30,000 STORES.
1481
00:43:18,964 --> 00:43:20,641
IT IS A NATIONAL CHAIN WITH OVER
30,000 STORES.
WELL, THE ONE IN RAHWAY'S OUT
1482
00:43:20,665 --> 00:43:21,408
30,000 STORES.
WELL, THE ONE IN RAHWAY'S OUT
OF BUSINESS.
1483
00:43:21,432 --> 00:43:22,743
WELL, THE ONE IN RAHWAY'S OUT
OF BUSINESS.
THAT'S EASY TO CHECK,
1484
00:43:22,767 --> 00:43:23,544
OF BUSINESS.
THAT'S EASY TO CHECK,
MR. MAINWAY.
1485
00:43:23,568 --> 00:43:25,746
THAT'S EASY TO CHECK,
MR. MAINWAY.
NOW WHAT ABOUT THIS CRACK THE
1486
00:43:25,770 --> 00:43:26,380
MR. MAINWAY.
NOW WHAT ABOUT THIS CRACK THE
WHIP?
1487
00:43:26,404 --> 00:43:27,882
NOW WHAT ABOUT THIS CRACK THE
WHIP?
AS I UNDERSTAND IT, IN THIS
1488
00:43:27,906 --> 00:43:29,416
WHIP?
AS I UNDERSTAND IT, IN THIS
RIDE, YOU PUT SMALL CHILDREN
1489
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,151
AS I UNDERSTAND IT, IN THIS
RIDE, YOU PUT SMALL CHILDREN
INTO A LARGE BURLAP BAG, TIE IT
1490
00:43:31,175 --> 00:43:32,920
RIDE, YOU PUT SMALL CHILDREN
INTO A LARGE BURLAP BAG, TIE IT
TO A DERRICK, AND SWING THIS BAG
1491
00:43:32,944 --> 00:43:34,288
INTO A LARGE BURLAP BAG, TIE IT
TO A DERRICK, AND SWING THIS BAG
OF CHILDREN ROUND AND ROUND IN
1492
00:43:34,312 --> 00:43:36,457
TO A DERRICK, AND SWING THIS BAG
OF CHILDREN ROUND AND ROUND IN
CIRCLES UNTIL THE ROPE FRAYS AND
1493
00:43:36,481 --> 00:43:39,359
OF CHILDREN ROUND AND ROUND IN
CIRCLES UNTIL THE ROPE FRAYS AND
THEY ARE HURLED INTO SPACE.
1494
00:43:39,383 --> 00:43:41,629
CIRCLES UNTIL THE ROPE FRAYS AND
THEY ARE HURLED INTO SPACE.
THEY LAND IN A LAKE.
1495
00:43:41,653 --> 00:43:43,664
THEY ARE HURLED INTO SPACE.
THEY LAND IN A LAKE.
A WRITHING BAG OF FRIGHTENED,
1496
00:43:43,688 --> 00:43:45,800
THEY LAND IN A LAKE.
A WRITHING BAG OF FRIGHTENED,
HELPLESS CHILDREN FLUNG INTO A
1497
00:43:45,824 --> 00:43:46,634
A WRITHING BAG OF FRIGHTENED,
HELPLESS CHILDREN FLUNG INTO A
LAKE?
1498
00:43:46,658 --> 00:43:47,602
HELPLESS CHILDREN FLUNG INTO A
LAKE?
IT'S A THRILL THEY'LL NEVER
1499
00:43:47,626 --> 00:43:48,035
LAKE?
IT'S A THRILL THEY'LL NEVER
FORGET.
1500
00:43:48,059 --> 00:43:49,770
IT'S A THRILL THEY'LL NEVER
FORGET.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, COME ON.
1501
00:43:49,794 --> 00:43:51,672
FORGET.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, COME ON.
JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY,
1502
00:43:51,696 --> 00:43:52,940
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, COME ON.
JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY,
MR. MAINWAY, HOW MANY LITTLE
1503
00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:54,341
JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY,
MR. MAINWAY, HOW MANY LITTLE
CHILDREN DO YOU STUFF INTO THAT
1504
00:43:54,365 --> 00:43:55,375
MR. MAINWAY, HOW MANY LITTLE
CHILDREN DO YOU STUFF INTO THAT
BAG?
1505
00:43:55,399 --> 00:43:56,410
CHILDREN DO YOU STUFF INTO THAT
BAG?
UH, IT VARIES.
1506
00:43:56,434 --> 00:43:58,545
BAG?
UH, IT VARIES.
A BAG CAN HOLD UP TO 250 POUNDS
1507
00:43:58,569 --> 00:43:59,513
UH, IT VARIES.
A BAG CAN HOLD UP TO 250 POUNDS
OF KIDS.
1508
00:43:59,537 --> 00:44:00,581
A BAG CAN HOLD UP TO 250 POUNDS
OF KIDS.
I SEE.
1509
00:44:00,605 --> 00:44:02,282
OF KIDS.
I SEE.
MR. MAINWAY, WHY DON'T YOU TELL
1510
00:44:02,306 --> 00:44:03,651
I SEE.
MR. MAINWAY, WHY DON'T YOU TELL
US ABOUT THE ICE PALACE?
1511
00:44:03,675 --> 00:44:05,820
MR. MAINWAY, WHY DON'T YOU TELL
US ABOUT THE ICE PALACE?
THE ICE PALACE...
1512
00:44:05,844 --> 00:44:07,655
US ABOUT THE ICE PALACE?
THE ICE PALACE...
IT'S A GLITTERING, GLISTENING
1513
00:44:07,679 --> 00:44:09,323
THE ICE PALACE...
IT'S A GLITTERING, GLISTENING
WINTER WONDERLAND OF ICE AND
1514
00:44:09,347 --> 00:44:11,558
IT'S A GLITTERING, GLISTENING
WINTER WONDERLAND OF ICE AND
SNOW.
1515
00:44:11,582 --> 00:44:13,527
WINTER WONDERLAND OF ICE AND
SNOW.
NO, IT'S NOT, MR. MAINWAY.
1516
00:44:13,551 --> 00:44:14,829
SNOW.
NO, IT'S NOT, MR. MAINWAY.
IT'S A COLLECTION OF ABANDONED
1517
00:44:14,853 --> 00:44:17,297
NO, IT'S NOT, MR. MAINWAY.
IT'S A COLLECTION OF ABANDONED
REFRIGERATORS.
1518
00:44:17,321 --> 00:44:18,365
IT'S A COLLECTION OF ABANDONED
REFRIGERATORS.
COME ON. COME ON.
1519
00:44:18,389 --> 00:44:19,433
REFRIGERATORS.
COME ON. COME ON.
YOU GOTTA USE, YOU KNOW, YOU
1520
00:44:19,457 --> 00:44:20,400
COME ON. COME ON.
YOU GOTTA USE, YOU KNOW, YOU
GOTTA USE A LITTLE BIT OF
1521
00:44:20,424 --> 00:44:20,968
YOU GOTTA USE, YOU KNOW, YOU
GOTTA USE A LITTLE BIT OF
IMAGINATION.
1522
00:44:20,992 --> 00:44:22,069
GOTTA USE A LITTLE BIT OF
IMAGINATION.
YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH IMAGINATION,
1523
00:44:22,093 --> 00:44:22,536
IMAGINATION.
YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH IMAGINATION,
MISS FACE.
1524
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:23,403
YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH IMAGINATION,
MISS FACE.
OH, I HAVE PLENTY OF
1525
00:44:23,427 --> 00:44:23,938
MISS FACE.
OH, I HAVE PLENTY OF
IMAGINATION.
1526
00:44:23,962 --> 00:44:25,006
OH, I HAVE PLENTY OF
IMAGINATION.
RIGHT NOW I'M PICTURING LITTLE
1527
00:44:25,030 --> 00:44:25,873
IMAGINATION.
RIGHT NOW I'M PICTURING LITTLE
CHILDREN TRAPPED INSIDE
1528
00:44:25,897 --> 00:44:27,307
RIGHT NOW I'M PICTURING LITTLE
CHILDREN TRAPPED INSIDE
REFRIGERATORS, THEIR PITIFUL,
1529
00:44:27,331 --> 00:44:28,809
CHILDREN TRAPPED INSIDE
REFRIGERATORS, THEIR PITIFUL,
LITTLE WAILS MUFFLED BY THICK,
1530
00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:30,310
REFRIGERATORS, THEIR PITIFUL,
LITTLE WAILS MUFFLED BY THICK,
WHITE DOORS.
1531
00:44:30,334 --> 00:44:31,245
LITTLE WAILS MUFFLED BY THICK,
WHITE DOORS.
HEY, HEY, HEY, COME ON.
1532
00:44:31,269 --> 00:44:31,679
WHITE DOORS.
HEY, HEY, HEY, COME ON.
COME ON.
1533
00:44:31,703 --> 00:44:32,947
HEY, HEY, HEY, COME ON.
COME ON.
I'M GONNA HIRE A GUY TO CHECK ON
1534
00:44:32,971 --> 00:44:34,214
COME ON.
I'M GONNA HIRE A GUY TO CHECK ON
THEM FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
1535
00:44:34,238 --> 00:44:35,215
I'M GONNA HIRE A GUY TO CHECK ON
THEM FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
I'M GONNA HIRE A GUY TO DO
1536
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:36,350
THEM FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
I'M GONNA HIRE A GUY TO DO
THAT... GO 'ROUND AND CHECK ON
1537
00:44:36,374 --> 00:44:36,951
I'M GONNA HIRE A GUY TO DO
THAT... GO 'ROUND AND CHECK ON
'EM, YOU KNOW?
1538
00:44:36,975 --> 00:44:38,619
THAT... GO 'ROUND AND CHECK ON
'EM, YOU KNOW?
MR. MAINWAY, EXPLAIN, IF YOU
1539
00:44:38,643 --> 00:44:40,121
'EM, YOU KNOW?
MR. MAINWAY, EXPLAIN, IF YOU
WILL, THE TUNNEL OF NOXIOUS
1540
00:44:40,145 --> 00:44:42,790
MR. MAINWAY, EXPLAIN, IF YOU
WILL, THE TUNNEL OF NOXIOUS
GASES.
1541
00:44:42,814 --> 00:44:44,391
WILL, THE TUNNEL OF NOXIOUS
GASES.
HEY, OKAY, MISS FACE, THE
1542
00:44:44,415 --> 00:44:46,060
GASES.
HEY, OKAY, MISS FACE, THE
TUNNEL OF NOXIOUS GASES WAS A
1543
00:44:46,084 --> 00:44:47,061
HEY, OKAY, MISS FACE, THE
TUNNEL OF NOXIOUS GASES WAS A
MISTAKE.
1544
00:44:47,085 --> 00:44:48,195
TUNNEL OF NOXIOUS GASES WAS A
MISTAKE.
I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND LIE
1545
00:44:48,219 --> 00:44:48,629
MISTAKE.
I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND LIE
TO YOU.
1546
00:44:48,653 --> 00:44:50,197
I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND LIE
TO YOU.
IT DIDN'T WORK OUT.
1547
00:44:50,221 --> 00:44:51,331
TO YOU.
IT DIDN'T WORK OUT.
WE DROPPED IT.
1548
00:44:51,355 --> 00:44:53,734
IT DIDN'T WORK OUT.
WE DROPPED IT.
HEY, I'M NOT GOD, YOU KNOW.
1549
00:44:53,758 --> 00:44:55,836
WE DROPPED IT.
HEY, I'M NOT GOD, YOU KNOW.
WHAT ABOUT THIS, MR. MAINWAY?
1550
00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:57,204
HEY, I'M NOT GOD, YOU KNOW.
WHAT ABOUT THIS, MR. MAINWAY?
THE WILD MOUSE.
1551
00:44:57,228 --> 00:44:58,305
WHAT ABOUT THIS, MR. MAINWAY?
THE WILD MOUSE.
IS THAT SOME KIND OF DEADLY
1552
00:44:58,329 --> 00:44:59,006
THE WILD MOUSE.
IS THAT SOME KIND OF DEADLY
ROLLER COASTER?
1553
00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:01,275
IS THAT SOME KIND OF DEADLY
ROLLER COASTER?
NO, MISS FACE, IT'S EXACTLY
1554
00:45:01,299 --> 00:45:03,443
ROLLER COASTER?
NO, MISS FACE, IT'S EXACTLY
WHAT IT SAYS... A WILD MOUSE.
1555
00:45:03,467 --> 00:45:05,946
NO, MISS FACE, IT'S EXACTLY
WHAT IT SAYS... A WILD MOUSE.
WE PUT A KID IN A PUP TENT WITH
1556
00:45:05,970 --> 00:45:07,481
WHAT IT SAYS... A WILD MOUSE.
WE PUT A KID IN A PUP TENT WITH
A WILD MOUSE.
1557
00:45:07,505 --> 00:45:08,949
WE PUT A KID IN A PUP TENT WITH
A WILD MOUSE.
WHAT THEY DO IN THERE IS THEIR
1558
00:45:08,973 --> 00:45:10,651
A WILD MOUSE.
WHAT THEY DO IN THERE IS THEIR
BUSINESS.
1559
00:45:10,675 --> 00:45:12,519
WHAT THEY DO IN THERE IS THEIR
BUSINESS.
AND WE ARE VERY SCRUPULOUS ABOUT
1560
00:45:12,543 --> 00:45:14,354
BUSINESS.
AND WE ARE VERY SCRUPULOUS ABOUT
CHANGING MICE... A FRESH MOUSE
1561
00:45:14,378 --> 00:45:16,390
AND WE ARE VERY SCRUPULOUS ABOUT
CHANGING MICE... A FRESH MOUSE
EVERY FIVE KIDS.
1562
00:45:16,414 --> 00:45:18,826
CHANGING MICE... A FRESH MOUSE
EVERY FIVE KIDS.
MR. MAINWAY, WHAT MIGHT A
1563
00:45:18,850 --> 00:45:21,495
EVERY FIVE KIDS.
MR. MAINWAY, WHAT MIGHT A
SMALL CHILD FIND IN YOUR PIT OF
1564
00:45:21,519 --> 00:45:22,830
MR. MAINWAY, WHAT MIGHT A
SMALL CHILD FIND IN YOUR PIT OF
MANY WONDERS?
1565
00:45:22,854 --> 00:45:24,098
SMALL CHILD FIND IN YOUR PIT OF
MANY WONDERS?
WELL, FRANKLY, MISS FACE, I
1566
00:45:24,122 --> 00:45:25,365
MANY WONDERS?
WELL, FRANKLY, MISS FACE, I
HAVEN'T GOT THE FAINTEST IDEA.
1567
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:26,567
WELL, FRANKLY, MISS FACE, I
HAVEN'T GOT THE FAINTEST IDEA.
I WAS GONNA GO DOWN THERE ONE
1568
00:45:26,591 --> 00:45:27,835
HAVEN'T GOT THE FAINTEST IDEA.
I WAS GONNA GO DOWN THERE ONE
DAY TO CHECK IT OUT, BUT I WAS
1569
00:45:27,859 --> 00:45:30,537
I WAS GONNA GO DOWN THERE ONE
DAY TO CHECK IT OUT, BUT I WAS
WEARING MY WHITE SHOES.
1570
00:45:30,561 --> 00:45:32,073
DAY TO CHECK IT OUT, BUT I WAS
WEARING MY WHITE SHOES.
MR. MAINWAY, I'M GOING TO
1571
00:45:32,097 --> 00:45:33,774
WEARING MY WHITE SHOES.
MR. MAINWAY, I'M GOING TO
TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT I THINK OF
1572
00:45:33,798 --> 00:45:35,509
MR. MAINWAY, I'M GOING TO
TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT I THINK OF
YOU, YOU PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE.
1573
00:45:35,533 --> 00:45:37,411
TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT I THINK OF
YOU, YOU PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE.
YOU ARE THE LOWEST SLIME THAT
1574
00:45:37,435 --> 00:45:38,478
YOU, YOU PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE.
YOU ARE THE LOWEST SLIME THAT
EVER BREATHED.
1575
00:45:38,502 --> 00:45:40,081
YOU ARE THE LOWEST SLIME THAT
EVER BREATHED.
WHEN I THINK THAT EVEN THE
1576
00:45:40,105 --> 00:45:41,648
EVER BREATHED.
WHEN I THINK THAT EVEN THE
PINKIE RINGS ON YOUR PUDGY,
1577
00:45:41,672 --> 00:45:43,550
WHEN I THINK THAT EVEN THE
PINKIE RINGS ON YOUR PUDGY,
GREASY, LITTLE FINGERS WERE PAID
1578
00:45:43,574 --> 00:45:45,352
PINKIE RINGS ON YOUR PUDGY,
GREASY, LITTLE FINGERS WERE PAID
FOR BY THE TORMENT OF INNOCENT
1579
00:45:45,376 --> 00:45:46,921
GREASY, LITTLE FINGERS WERE PAID
FOR BY THE TORMENT OF INNOCENT
CHILDREN, I RETCH.
1580
00:45:46,945 --> 00:45:48,555
FOR BY THE TORMENT OF INNOCENT
CHILDREN, I RETCH.
YOU ARE THE VERY EMBODIMENT OF
1581
00:45:48,579 --> 00:45:49,023
CHILDREN, I RETCH.
YOU ARE THE VERY EMBODIMENT OF
EVIL.
1582
00:45:49,047 --> 00:45:50,390
YOU ARE THE VERY EMBODIMENT OF
EVIL.
OKAY, MAY I... MAY I JUST SAY
1583
00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:51,525
EVIL.
OKAY, MAY I... MAY I JUST SAY
SOMETHING HERE, MISS FACE?
1584
00:45:51,549 --> 00:45:53,560
OKAY, MAY I... MAY I JUST SAY
SOMETHING HERE, MISS FACE?
WHAT YOU JUST SAID MAKES YOU
1585
00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:54,895
SOMETHING HERE, MISS FACE?
WHAT YOU JUST SAID MAKES YOU
LOOK BAD, NOT ME.
1586
00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:56,663
WHAT YOU JUST SAID MAKES YOU
LOOK BAD, NOT ME.
I'M GONNA BE VERY INTERESTED TO
1587
00:45:56,687 --> 00:45:58,165
LOOK BAD, NOT ME.
I'M GONNA BE VERY INTERESTED TO
SEE THE MAIL ON THIS SHOW.
1588
00:45:58,189 --> 00:46:00,434
I'M GONNA BE VERY INTERESTED TO
SEE THE MAIL ON THIS SHOW.
MR. MAINWAY, AS GOD IS MY
1589
00:46:00,458 --> 00:46:02,903
SEE THE MAIL ON THIS SHOW.
MR. MAINWAY, AS GOD IS MY
WITNESS, FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,
1590
00:46:02,927 --> 00:46:04,705
MR. MAINWAY, AS GOD IS MY
WITNESS, FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,
I DEVOTE MY LIFE TO PUTTING YOU
1591
00:46:04,729 --> 00:46:05,806
WITNESS, FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,
I DEVOTE MY LIFE TO PUTTING YOU
BEHIND BARS.
1592
00:46:05,830 --> 00:46:07,274
I DEVOTE MY LIFE TO PUTTING YOU
BEHIND BARS.
YOU KNOW, MISS FACE, I FEEL
1593
00:46:07,298 --> 00:46:08,342
BEHIND BARS.
YOU KNOW, MISS FACE, I FEEL
VERY SORRY FOR YOU.
1594
00:46:08,366 --> 00:46:09,710
YOU KNOW, MISS FACE, I FEEL
VERY SORRY FOR YOU.
YOU CRITICIZE WHAT I DO FOR A
1595
00:46:09,734 --> 00:46:10,177
VERY SORRY FOR YOU.
YOU CRITICIZE WHAT I DO FOR A
LIVING.
1596
00:46:10,201 --> 00:46:11,578
YOU CRITICIZE WHAT I DO FOR A
LIVING.
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT WHAT
1597
00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:12,012
LIVING.
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT WHAT
YOU DO.
1598
00:46:12,036 --> 00:46:13,647
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT WHAT
YOU DO.
WHAT'S SO SAFE ABOUT YOUR SHOW?
1599
00:46:13,671 --> 00:46:14,782
YOU DO.
WHAT'S SO SAFE ABOUT YOUR SHOW?
SAY THERE'S A LITTLE KID.
1600
00:46:14,806 --> 00:46:15,750
WHAT'S SO SAFE ABOUT YOUR SHOW?
SAY THERE'S A LITTLE KID.
HE'S RUNNING AROUND THE LIVING
1601
00:46:15,774 --> 00:46:16,150
SAY THERE'S A LITTLE KID.
HE'S RUNNING AROUND THE LIVING
ROOM.
1602
00:46:16,174 --> 00:46:16,851
HE'S RUNNING AROUND THE LIVING
ROOM.
YOUR SHOW'S ON TV.
1603
00:46:16,875 --> 00:46:17,718
ROOM.
YOUR SHOW'S ON TV.
HE RUNS RIGHT UP INTO THE TV
1604
00:46:17,742 --> 00:46:18,119
YOUR SHOW'S ON TV.
HE RUNS RIGHT UP INTO THE TV
SET.
1605
00:46:18,143 --> 00:46:18,652
HE RUNS RIGHT UP INTO THE TV
SET.
IT BLOWS UP.
1606
00:46:18,676 --> 00:46:20,554
SET.
IT BLOWS UP.
HE DIES!
1607
00:46:20,578 --> 00:46:21,622
IT BLOWS UP.
HE DIES!
OKAY, ANOTHER LITTLE KID.
1608
00:46:21,646 --> 00:46:22,656
HE DIES!
OKAY, ANOTHER LITTLE KID.
HE'S NOT HAPPY WITH THE
1609
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:23,190
OKAY, ANOTHER LITTLE KID.
HE'S NOT HAPPY WITH THE
RECEPTION.
1610
00:46:23,214 --> 00:46:24,225
HE'S NOT HAPPY WITH THE
RECEPTION.
YOUR FACE IS BLURRY.
1611
00:46:24,249 --> 00:46:25,359
RECEPTION.
YOUR FACE IS BLURRY.
HE FIDDLES WITH THE AERIAL.
1612
00:46:25,383 --> 00:46:26,593
YOUR FACE IS BLURRY.
HE FIDDLES WITH THE AERIAL.
HE POKES HIS EYE OUT... BLIND!
1613
00:46:26,617 --> 00:46:28,028
HE FIDDLES WITH THE AERIAL.
HE POKES HIS EYE OUT... BLIND!
YOU GOT A LITTLE KID IN THE
1614
00:46:28,052 --> 00:46:28,629
HE POKES HIS EYE OUT... BLIND!
YOU GOT A LITTLE KID IN THE
BATHTUB.
1615
00:46:28,653 --> 00:46:30,131
YOU GOT A LITTLE KID IN THE
BATHTUB.
HE'S TAKING A BATH, WATCHING
1616
00:46:30,155 --> 00:46:31,198
BATHTUB.
HE'S TAKING A BATH, WATCHING
YOUR SHOW.
1617
00:46:31,222 --> 00:46:32,633
HE'S TAKING A BATH, WATCHING
YOUR SHOW.
TV FALLS IN THE BATHTUB,
1618
00:46:32,657 --> 00:46:33,667
YOUR SHOW.
TV FALLS IN THE BATHTUB,
ELECTROCUTES HIM.
1619
00:46:33,691 --> 00:46:35,169
TV FALLS IN THE BATHTUB,
ELECTROCUTES HIM.
FRIES!
1620
00:46:35,193 --> 00:46:36,771
ELECTROCUTES HIM.
FRIES!
AND THE LAST THING THAT KID SEES
1621
00:46:36,795 --> 00:46:38,239
FRIES!
AND THE LAST THING THAT KID SEES
ON EARTH IN THIS LIFE IS YOUR
1622
00:46:38,263 --> 00:46:39,740
AND THE LAST THING THAT KID SEES
ON EARTH IN THIS LIFE IS YOUR
FACE, MISS FACE, MAKING FUN OF
1623
00:46:39,764 --> 00:46:41,308
ON EARTH IN THIS LIFE IS YOUR
FACE, MISS FACE, MAKING FUN OF
WHAT SOMEBODY DOES FOR A LIVING.
1624
00:46:41,332 --> 00:46:42,977
FACE, MISS FACE, MAKING FUN OF
WHAT SOMEBODY DOES FOR A LIVING.
THINK ABOUT THAT, MISS FACE!
1625
00:46:43,001 --> 00:46:44,411
WHAT SOMEBODY DOES FOR A LIVING.
THINK ABOUT THAT, MISS FACE!
THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE
1626
00:46:44,435 --> 00:46:45,379
THINK ABOUT THAT, MISS FACE!
THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE
FOR "ON THE SPOT."
1627
00:46:45,403 --> 00:46:46,380
THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE
FOR "ON THE SPOT."
NO, NO, JUST A MINUTE.
1628
00:46:46,404 --> 00:46:47,581
FOR "ON THE SPOT."
NO, NO, JUST A MINUTE.
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, MISS FACE.
1629
00:46:47,605 --> 00:46:49,049
NO, NO, JUST A MINUTE.
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, MISS FACE.
I WANT TO ADD SOMETHING HERE.
1630
00:46:49,073 --> 00:46:51,018
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, MISS FACE.
I WANT TO ADD SOMETHING HERE.
THAT IT'S IRWIN MAINWAY'S KIDDIE
1631
00:46:51,042 --> 00:46:51,819
I WANT TO ADD SOMETHING HERE.
THAT IT'S IRWIN MAINWAY'S KIDDIE
FUN WORLD.
1632
00:46:51,843 --> 00:46:53,120
THAT IT'S IRWIN MAINWAY'S KIDDIE
FUN WORLD.
THAT'S ROUTE 17, PAST THE
1633
00:46:53,144 --> 00:46:54,454
FUN WORLD.
THAT'S ROUTE 17, PAST THE
WOODBRIDGE EXIT IN RAHWAY,
1634
00:46:54,478 --> 00:46:54,955
THAT'S ROUTE 17, PAST THE
WOODBRIDGE EXIT IN RAHWAY,
NEW JERSEY.
1635
00:46:54,979 --> 00:46:57,613
WOODBRIDGE EXIT IN RAHWAY,
NEW JERSEY.
AAAAHHHHH!
1636
00:47:13,763 --> 00:47:18,434
[DOOR OPENS]
HELLO, MR. SCHNABEL.
1637
00:47:32,382 --> 00:47:38,532
HI, PA.
IT'S YOUR DAUGHTER, BOBBI.
LOOK.
1638
00:47:38,556 --> 00:47:39,800
IT'S YOUR DAUGHTER, BOBBI.
LOOK.
I MADE YOU SOME NICE
1639
00:47:39,824 --> 00:47:42,269
LOOK.
I MADE YOU SOME NICE
MUSHROOM-BARLEY SOUP.
1640
00:47:42,293 --> 00:47:45,439
I MADE YOU SOME NICE
MUSHROOM-BARLEY SOUP.
SO... ASK ME HOW I AM.
1641
00:47:45,463 --> 00:47:47,607
MUSHROOM-BARLEY SOUP.
SO... ASK ME HOW I AM.
HOW ARE YOU?
1642
00:47:47,631 --> 00:47:49,009
SO... ASK ME HOW I AM.
HOW ARE YOU?
DON'T ASK.
1643
00:47:49,033 --> 00:47:50,911
HOW ARE YOU?
DON'T ASK.
HA!
1644
00:47:50,935 --> 00:47:51,812
DON'T ASK.
HA!
OH, PA.
1645
00:47:51,836 --> 00:47:53,714
HA!
OH, PA.
ARE YOU EATING GOOD?
1646
00:47:53,738 --> 00:47:55,749
OH, PA.
ARE YOU EATING GOOD?
EHH.
1647
00:47:55,773 --> 00:47:57,318
ARE YOU EATING GOOD?
EHH.
YOU SLEEPING GOOD?
1648
00:47:57,342 --> 00:47:58,752
EHH.
YOU SLEEPING GOOD?
EH.
1649
00:47:58,776 --> 00:47:59,419
YOU SLEEPING GOOD?
EH.
PA?
1650
00:47:59,443 --> 00:48:00,187
EH.
PA?
YEAH?
1651
00:48:00,211 --> 00:48:03,991
PA?
YEAH?
DID YOU MAKE?
1652
00:48:04,015 --> 00:48:05,692
YEAH?
DID YOU MAKE?
I MADE YESTERDAY.
1653
00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:06,861
DID YOU MAKE?
I MADE YESTERDAY.
OH, GOOD.
1654
00:48:06,885 --> 00:48:07,494
I MADE YESTERDAY.
OH, GOOD.
GOOD.
1655
00:48:07,518 --> 00:48:09,763
OH, GOOD.
GOOD.
YOU KNOW, LARRY HASN'T BEEN SO
1656
00:48:09,787 --> 00:48:11,098
GOOD.
YOU KNOW, LARRY HASN'T BEEN SO
REGULAR, EITHER.
1657
00:48:11,122 --> 00:48:12,733
YOU KNOW, LARRY HASN'T BEEN SO
REGULAR, EITHER.
WHO?
1658
00:48:12,757 --> 00:48:16,370
REGULAR, EITHER.
WHO?
LARRY, MY HUSBAND.
1659
00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:19,206
WHO?
LARRY, MY HUSBAND.
TELL ME, HOW'S LARRY?
1660
00:48:19,230 --> 00:48:20,674
LARRY, MY HUSBAND.
TELL ME, HOW'S LARRY?
HOW IS HE?
1661
00:48:20,698 --> 00:48:21,976
TELL ME, HOW'S LARRY?
HOW IS HE?
IRREGULAR.
1662
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,777
HOW IS HE?
IRREGULAR.
OH.
1663
00:48:23,801 --> 00:48:27,514
IRREGULAR.
OH.
HELLO, MR. SCHNABEL.
1664
00:48:27,538 --> 00:48:29,083
OH.
HELLO, MR. SCHNABEL.
HI, BOBBI.
1665
00:48:29,107 --> 00:48:30,251
HELLO, MR. SCHNABEL.
HI, BOBBI.
HI.
1666
00:48:30,275 --> 00:48:31,651
HI, BOBBI.
HI.
HI, PA.
1667
00:48:31,675 --> 00:48:33,988
HI.
HI, PA.
PA, IT'S ME, SYLVIA.
1668
00:48:34,012 --> 00:48:35,622
HI, PA.
PA, IT'S ME, SYLVIA.
PA, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
1669
00:48:35,646 --> 00:48:37,091
PA, IT'S ME, SYLVIA.
PA, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
IT'S SYLVIA.
1670
00:48:37,115 --> 00:48:38,959
PA, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
IT'S SYLVIA.
SYLVIA'S DEAD.
1671
00:48:38,983 --> 00:48:40,794
IT'S SYLVIA.
SYLVIA'S DEAD.
NO, NOT THAT SYLVIA.
1672
00:48:40,818 --> 00:48:43,097
SYLVIA'S DEAD.
NO, NOT THAT SYLVIA.
THE OTHER SYLVIA'S NAMED AFTER
1673
00:48:43,121 --> 00:48:43,697
NO, NOT THAT SYLVIA.
THE OTHER SYLVIA'S NAMED AFTER
HER.
1674
00:48:43,721 --> 00:48:45,632
THE OTHER SYLVIA'S NAMED AFTER
HER.
YOU KNOW, SYLVIA... YOUR
1675
00:48:45,656 --> 00:48:47,268
HER.
YOU KNOW, SYLVIA... YOUR
DAUGHTER, MY SISTER.
1676
00:48:47,292 --> 00:48:50,371
YOU KNOW, SYLVIA... YOUR
DAUGHTER, MY SISTER.
THE UNMARRIED ONE.
1677
00:48:50,395 --> 00:48:51,671
DAUGHTER, MY SISTER.
THE UNMARRIED ONE.
HOW IS SYLVIA?
1678
00:48:51,695 --> 00:48:52,907
THE UNMARRIED ONE.
HOW IS SYLVIA?
I'M FINE, PA.
1679
00:48:52,931 --> 00:48:54,074
HOW IS SYLVIA?
I'M FINE, PA.
I'M RIGHT HERE.
1680
00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:55,242
I'M FINE, PA.
I'M RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS SYLVIA.
1681
00:48:55,266 --> 00:48:57,278
I'M RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS SYLVIA.
SYLVIA NEVER VISITS.
1682
00:48:57,302 --> 00:48:59,413
THIS IS SYLVIA.
SYLVIA NEVER VISITS.
I'M VISITING NOW, PA.
1683
00:48:59,437 --> 00:49:00,948
SYLVIA NEVER VISITS.
I'M VISITING NOW, PA.
THIS IS A VISIT.
1684
00:49:00,972 --> 00:49:03,550
I'M VISITING NOW, PA.
THIS IS A VISIT.
AND I REMEMBER SYLVIA WHEN
1685
00:49:03,574 --> 00:49:06,787
THIS IS A VISIT.
AND I REMEMBER SYLVIA WHEN
SHE WAS THIS BIG.
1686
00:49:06,811 --> 00:49:08,222
AND I REMEMBER SYLVIA WHEN
SHE WAS THIS BIG.
SO HOW YOU DOING, PA?
1687
00:49:08,246 --> 00:49:09,123
SHE WAS THIS BIG.
SO HOW YOU DOING, PA?
DID YOU MAKE?
1688
00:49:09,147 --> 00:49:12,659
SO HOW YOU DOING, PA?
DID YOU MAKE?
HE MADE YESTERDAY.
1689
00:49:12,683 --> 00:49:16,063
DID YOU MAKE?
HE MADE YESTERDAY.
NOTHING TODAY.
1690
00:49:16,087 --> 00:49:19,366
HE MADE YESTERDAY.
NOTHING TODAY.
HERE WE ARE, MR. PASNER.
1691
00:49:19,390 --> 00:49:20,600
NOTHING TODAY.
HERE WE ARE, MR. PASNER.
HERE'S OUR DINNER.
1692
00:49:20,624 --> 00:49:24,704
HERE WE ARE, MR. PASNER.
HERE'S OUR DINNER.
OH!
1693
00:49:24,728 --> 00:49:27,041
HERE'S OUR DINNER.
OH!
OH, LOOK WHAT HE GOT!
1694
00:49:27,065 --> 00:49:30,010
OH!
OH, LOOK WHAT HE GOT!
OH, STRAINED PEAS AND TURKEY
1695
00:49:30,034 --> 00:49:30,911
OH, LOOK WHAT HE GOT!
OH, STRAINED PEAS AND TURKEY
SOUP.
1696
00:49:30,935 --> 00:49:32,112
OH, STRAINED PEAS AND TURKEY
SOUP.
OH.
1697
00:49:32,136 --> 00:49:34,614
SOUP.
OH.
GERBER'S... THAT'S NICE.
1698
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:35,449
OH.
GERBER'S... THAT'S NICE.
HEH-HEH.
1699
00:49:35,473 --> 00:49:37,318
GERBER'S... THAT'S NICE.
HEH-HEH.
I CALL HER CRISCO 'CAUSE SHE'S
1700
00:49:37,342 --> 00:49:39,653
HEH-HEH.
I CALL HER CRISCO 'CAUSE SHE'S
FAT IN THE CAN.
1701
00:49:39,677 --> 00:49:41,888
I CALL HER CRISCO 'CAUSE SHE'S
FAT IN THE CAN.
THAT'LL BE ENOUGH OF THAT,
1702
00:49:41,912 --> 00:49:42,957
FAT IN THE CAN.
THAT'LL BE ENOUGH OF THAT,
MR. PASNER.
1703
00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:44,925
THAT'LL BE ENOUGH OF THAT,
MR. PASNER.
YOUR FATHER'S VERY POPULAR WITH
1704
00:49:44,949 --> 00:49:46,626
MR. PASNER.
YOUR FATHER'S VERY POPULAR WITH
AL THE WIDOWS AROUND HERE.
1705
00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:48,728
YOUR FATHER'S VERY POPULAR WITH
AL THE WIDOWS AROUND HERE.
YEAH, THEY CAN CHASE ME, BUT
1706
00:49:48,752 --> 00:49:50,164
AL THE WIDOWS AROUND HERE.
YEAH, THEY CAN CHASE ME, BUT
THEY CAN'T CATCH ME.
1707
00:49:50,188 --> 00:49:51,698
YEAH, THEY CAN CHASE ME, BUT
THEY CAN'T CATCH ME.
ALL RIGHT, MR. PASNER.
1708
00:49:51,722 --> 00:49:52,499
THEY CAN'T CATCH ME.
ALL RIGHT, MR. PASNER.
NOW EAT UP.
1709
00:49:52,523 --> 00:49:53,900
ALL RIGHT, MR. PASNER.
NOW EAT UP.
OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
1710
00:49:53,924 --> 00:49:54,969
NOW EAT UP.
OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
WE CAN FEED HIM.
1711
00:49:54,993 --> 00:49:56,036
OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
WE CAN FEED HIM.
HE'S OUR FATHER.
1712
00:49:56,060 --> 00:49:57,137
WE CAN FEED HIM.
HE'S OUR FATHER.
YEAH, WE'LL BE FINE.
1713
00:49:57,161 --> 00:49:58,405
HE'S OUR FATHER.
YEAH, WE'LL BE FINE.
WE CAN FEED OUR OWN FATHER.
1714
00:49:58,429 --> 00:49:59,173
YEAH, WE'LL BE FINE.
WE CAN FEED OUR OWN FATHER.
OKAY.
1715
00:49:59,197 --> 00:50:01,308
WE CAN FEED OUR OWN FATHER.
OKAY.
BUT I'LL BE DOWN THE HALL IF HE
1716
00:50:01,332 --> 00:50:02,943
OKAY.
BUT I'LL BE DOWN THE HALL IF HE
FEELS A B.M. COMING ON.
1717
00:50:02,967 --> 00:50:05,346
BUT I'LL BE DOWN THE HALL IF HE
FEELS A B.M. COMING ON.
ALL RIGHT.
1718
00:50:05,370 --> 00:50:07,814
FEELS A B.M. COMING ON.
ALL RIGHT.
HEY, THE SHIKSA STOLE MY
1719
00:50:07,838 --> 00:50:08,582
ALL RIGHT.
HEY, THE SHIKSA STOLE MY
SOUP.
1720
00:50:08,606 --> 00:50:09,883
HEY, THE SHIKSA STOLE MY
SOUP.
NO, SHE DIDN'T, PA.
1721
00:50:09,907 --> 00:50:10,917
SOUP.
NO, SHE DIDN'T, PA.
IT'S RIGHT HERE.
1722
00:50:10,941 --> 00:50:11,751
NO, SHE DIDN'T, PA.
IT'S RIGHT HERE.
OH.
1723
00:50:11,775 --> 00:50:13,454
IT'S RIGHT HERE.
OH.
HERE, PA. EAT.
1724
00:50:13,478 --> 00:50:14,188
OH.
HERE, PA. EAT.
ALL RIGHT.
1725
00:50:14,212 --> 00:50:15,089
HERE, PA. EAT.
ALL RIGHT.
BOBBI, LISTEN.
1726
00:50:15,113 --> 00:50:16,556
ALL RIGHT.
BOBBI, LISTEN.
I'VE BEEN DYING TO TALK TO YOU.
1727
00:50:16,580 --> 00:50:17,891
BOBBI, LISTEN.
I'VE BEEN DYING TO TALK TO YOU.
WELL, YOU'RE SO HARD TO GET A
1728
00:50:17,915 --> 00:50:18,325
I'VE BEEN DYING TO TALK TO YOU.
WELL, YOU'RE SO HARD TO GET A
HOLD OF.
1729
00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:19,193
WELL, YOU'RE SO HARD TO GET A
HOLD OF.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
1730
00:50:19,217 --> 00:50:20,995
HOLD OF.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I MEAN, I WENT TO THE PRICEMAN
1731
00:50:21,019 --> 00:50:21,728
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I MEAN, I WENT TO THE PRICEMAN
FUNCTION.
1732
00:50:21,752 --> 00:50:23,397
I MEAN, I WENT TO THE PRICEMAN
FUNCTION.
I WANTED YOU TO GO WITH ME.
1733
00:50:23,421 --> 00:50:24,431
FUNCTION.
I WANTED YOU TO GO WITH ME.
IT WAS LOVELY.
1734
00:50:24,455 --> 00:50:26,100
I WANTED YOU TO GO WITH ME.
IT WAS LOVELY.
OH, WHAT DID SHE SERVE?
1735
00:50:26,124 --> 00:50:27,001
IT WAS LOVELY.
OH, WHAT DID SHE SERVE?
OH, RUMAKI.
1736
00:50:27,025 --> 00:50:28,735
OH, WHAT DID SHE SERVE?
OH, RUMAKI.
THAT'S CHICKEN LIVERS, YOU KNOW?
1737
00:50:28,759 --> 00:50:30,471
OH, RUMAKI.
THAT'S CHICKEN LIVERS, YOU KNOW?
WITH THE WATER CHESTNUTS AND THE
1738
00:50:30,495 --> 00:50:31,438
THAT'S CHICKEN LIVERS, YOU KNOW?
WITH THE WATER CHESTNUTS AND THE
DOLE PINEAPPLE?
1739
00:50:31,462 --> 00:50:32,939
WITH THE WATER CHESTNUTS AND THE
DOLE PINEAPPLE?
AND THEN THEY DO THIS THING
1740
00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:34,674
DOLE PINEAPPLE?
AND THEN THEY DO THIS THING
WHERE THEY WRAP BACON AROUND IT,
1741
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:36,377
AND THEN THEY DO THIS THING
WHERE THEY WRAP BACON AROUND IT,
AND THEY PUT A TOOTHPICK IN IT?
1742
00:50:36,401 --> 00:50:36,810
WHERE THEY WRAP BACON AROUND IT,
AND THEY PUT A TOOTHPICK IN IT?
OH.
1743
00:50:36,834 --> 00:50:38,145
AND THEY PUT A TOOTHPICK IN IT?
OH.
SINCE WHEN ARE THE PRICEMANS
1744
00:50:38,169 --> 00:50:38,645
OH.
SINCE WHEN ARE THE PRICEMANS
REFORM?
1745
00:50:38,669 --> 00:50:40,547
SINCE WHEN ARE THE PRICEMANS
REFORM?
BONE, BONE, BONE!
1746
00:50:40,571 --> 00:50:42,849
REFORM?
BONE, BONE, BONE!
OH, WELL, GO SLOW, PA.
1747
00:50:42,873 --> 00:50:43,517
BONE, BONE, BONE!
OH, WELL, GO SLOW, PA.
BONE!
1748
00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:44,551
OH, WELL, GO SLOW, PA.
BONE!
WHERE WAS I?
1749
00:50:44,575 --> 00:50:45,352
BONE!
WHERE WAS I?
RUMAKI.
1750
00:50:45,376 --> 00:50:46,253
WHERE WAS I?
RUMAKI.
OH, RIGHT.
1751
00:50:46,277 --> 00:50:48,022
RUMAKI.
OH, RIGHT.
SO, LARRY TOOK THE BACON OFF.
1752
00:50:48,046 --> 00:50:49,623
OH, RIGHT.
SO, LARRY TOOK THE BACON OFF.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT THAT HE'S
1753
00:50:49,647 --> 00:50:51,025
SO, LARRY TOOK THE BACON OFF.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT THAT HE'S
RELIGIOUS OR ANYTHING.
1754
00:50:51,049 --> 00:50:52,326
I MEAN, IT'S NOT THAT HE'S
RELIGIOUS OR ANYTHING.
HE JUST HATES BACON.
1755
00:50:52,350 --> 00:50:53,460
RELIGIOUS OR ANYTHING.
HE JUST HATES BACON.
BOBBI, LISTEN.
1756
00:50:53,484 --> 00:50:54,961
HE JUST HATES BACON.
BOBBI, LISTEN.
CAN I ASK YOU A PERSONAL
1757
00:50:54,985 --> 00:50:55,695
BOBBI, LISTEN.
CAN I ASK YOU A PERSONAL
QUESTION?
1758
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,165
CAN I ASK YOU A PERSONAL
QUESTION?
WHAT?
1759
00:50:58,189 --> 00:51:00,367
QUESTION?
WHAT?
YOU KNOW HOW IT IS YOU JUST
1760
00:51:00,391 --> 00:51:02,702
WHAT?
YOU KNOW HOW IT IS YOU JUST
CAN'T KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF A GUY?
1761
00:51:02,726 --> 00:51:04,004
YOU KNOW HOW IT IS YOU JUST
CAN'T KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF A GUY?
NO.
1762
00:51:04,028 --> 00:51:05,939
CAN'T KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF A GUY?
NO.
WELL, I MEAN, SOMETIMES YOU
1763
00:51:05,963 --> 00:51:07,741
NO.
WELL, I MEAN, SOMETIMES YOU
JUST WANT TO JUMP ON LARRY?
1764
00:51:07,765 --> 00:51:08,575
WELL, I MEAN, SOMETIMES YOU
JUST WANT TO JUMP ON LARRY?
OH, NO.
1765
00:51:08,599 --> 00:51:10,411
JUST WANT TO JUMP ON LARRY?
OH, NO.
LARRY'S A WONDERFUL HUSBAND.
1766
00:51:10,435 --> 00:51:12,413
OH, NO.
LARRY'S A WONDERFUL HUSBAND.
HE ALWAYS MAKES HIS SIDE OF THE
1767
00:51:12,437 --> 00:51:12,913
LARRY'S A WONDERFUL HUSBAND.
HE ALWAYS MAKES HIS SIDE OF THE
BED.
1768
00:51:12,937 --> 00:51:14,814
HE ALWAYS MAKES HIS SIDE OF THE
BED.
HE NEVER TRIES TO FOOL AROUND
1769
00:51:14,838 --> 00:51:16,716
BED.
HE NEVER TRIES TO FOOL AROUND
WHEN I JUST HAD MY HAIR DONE.
1770
00:51:16,740 --> 00:51:18,752
HE NEVER TRIES TO FOOL AROUND
WHEN I JUST HAD MY HAIR DONE.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ASK ME,
1771
00:51:18,776 --> 00:51:19,453
WHEN I JUST HAD MY HAIR DONE.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ASK ME,
SYLVIA?
1772
00:51:19,477 --> 00:51:21,021
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ASK ME,
SYLVIA?
FORGET IT.
1773
00:51:21,045 --> 00:51:22,089
SYLVIA?
FORGET IT.
J-JUICE.
1774
00:51:22,113 --> 00:51:23,790
FORGET IT.
J-JUICE.
I WANT JUICE, JUICE.
1775
00:51:23,814 --> 00:51:26,193
J-JUICE.
I WANT JUICE, JUICE.
I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER CHEATED
1776
00:51:26,217 --> 00:51:27,127
I WANT JUICE, JUICE.
I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER CHEATED
ON LARRY?
1777
00:51:27,151 --> 00:51:27,894
I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER CHEATED
ON LARRY?
NO.
1778
00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:30,030
ON LARRY?
NO.
HAS LARRY EVER CHEATED ON
1779
00:51:30,054 --> 00:51:30,630
NO.
HAS LARRY EVER CHEATED ON
YOU?
1780
00:51:30,654 --> 00:51:32,166
HAS LARRY EVER CHEATED ON
YOU?
OH, NO, NOT LARRY.
1781
00:51:32,190 --> 00:51:34,101
YOU?
OH, NO, NOT LARRY.
THAT WOULD BE LIKE SAYING PA
1782
00:51:34,125 --> 00:51:37,271
OH, NO, NOT LARRY.
THAT WOULD BE LIKE SAYING PA
CHEATED ON MA.
1783
00:51:37,295 --> 00:51:38,439
THAT WOULD BE LIKE SAYING PA
CHEATED ON MA.
DON'T RUSH.
1784
00:51:38,463 --> 00:51:41,542
CHEATED ON MA.
DON'T RUSH.
RIGHT. BE CAREFUL, PA.
1785
00:51:41,566 --> 00:51:42,976
DON'T RUSH.
RIGHT. BE CAREFUL, PA.
OH, HE'S SO GOOD.
1786
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,111
RIGHT. BE CAREFUL, PA.
OH, HE'S SO GOOD.
HE FINISHED.
1787
00:51:44,135 --> 00:51:45,479
OH, HE'S SO GOOD.
HE FINISHED.
ISN'T THAT GOOD?
1788
00:51:45,503 --> 00:51:47,147
HE FINISHED.
ISN'T THAT GOOD?
[BELL RINGS]
1789
00:51:47,171 --> 00:51:49,249
ISN'T THAT GOOD?
[BELL RINGS]
OH.
1790
00:51:49,273 --> 00:51:50,350
[BELL RINGS]
OH.
I'M SORRY.
1791
00:51:50,374 --> 00:51:52,119
OH.
I'M SORRY.
VISITING HOURS ARE OVER.
1792
00:51:52,143 --> 00:51:53,220
I'M SORRY.
VISITING HOURS ARE OVER.
Both: WE KNOW.
1793
00:51:53,244 --> 00:51:54,088
VISITING HOURS ARE OVER.
Both: WE KNOW.
WE KNOW.
1794
00:51:54,112 --> 00:51:55,055
Both: WE KNOW.
WE KNOW.
GOODBYE, PA.
1795
00:51:55,079 --> 00:51:56,423
WE KNOW.
GOODBYE, PA.
SEE YOU NEXT SUNDAY.
1796
00:51:56,447 --> 00:51:58,992
GOODBYE, PA.
SEE YOU NEXT SUNDAY.
BE A GOOD BOY, PA.
1797
00:51:59,016 --> 00:52:01,462
SEE YOU NEXT SUNDAY.
BE A GOOD BOY, PA.
YEAH.
1798
00:52:01,486 --> 00:52:04,598
BE A GOOD BOY, PA.
YEAH.
IF YOU SEE SYLVIA, TELL HER TO
1799
00:52:04,622 --> 00:52:06,567
YEAH.
IF YOU SEE SYLVIA, TELL HER TO
VISIT MORE OFTEN.
1800
00:52:06,591 --> 00:52:08,872
IF YOU SEE SYLVIA, TELL HER TO
VISIT MORE OFTEN.
[CHUCKLES]
1801
00:52:28,411 --> 00:52:36,062
YOU KNOW...
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU KNOW, LADIES AND
1802
00:52:36,086 --> 00:52:37,131
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU KNOW, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN...
1803
00:52:37,155 --> 00:52:39,266
YOU KNOW, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN...
YOU KNOW, EVERYONE... THIS IS
1804
00:52:39,290 --> 00:52:40,467
GENTLEMEN...
YOU KNOW, EVERYONE... THIS IS
REALLY HONEST.
1805
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:42,736
YOU KNOW, EVERYONE... THIS IS
REALLY HONEST.
EVERYONE HAS BEEN PUTTING ME ON
1806
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,005
REALLY HONEST.
EVERYONE HAS BEEN PUTTING ME ON
AND PUTTING ME DOWN ABOUT HOW I
1807
00:52:45,029 --> 00:52:46,072
EVERYONE HAS BEEN PUTTING ME ON
AND PUTTING ME DOWN ABOUT HOW I
STEAL JOKES.
1808
00:52:46,096 --> 00:52:47,974
AND PUTTING ME DOWN ABOUT HOW I
STEAL JOKES.
BUT, IN TRUTH, I HAVE A GREAT
1809
00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:49,376
STEAL JOKES.
BUT, IN TRUTH, I HAVE A GREAT
RESPECT FOR WRITERS.
1810
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,411
BUT, IN TRUTH, I HAVE A GREAT
RESPECT FOR WRITERS.
SOME OF THE GUYS HAVE BEEN WITH
1811
00:52:51,435 --> 00:52:53,447
RESPECT FOR WRITERS.
SOME OF THE GUYS HAVE BEEN WITH
ME FOR MOST OF MY YEARS IN SHOW
1812
00:52:53,471 --> 00:52:55,215
SOME OF THE GUYS HAVE BEEN WITH
ME FOR MOST OF MY YEARS IN SHOW
BUSINESS, AND TONIGHT, AS A
1813
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:57,251
ME FOR MOST OF MY YEARS IN SHOW
BUSINESS, AND TONIGHT, AS A
SPECIAL TREAT, I WOULD LIKE ALL
1814
00:52:57,275 --> 00:52:59,219
BUSINESS, AND TONIGHT, AS A
SPECIAL TREAT, I WOULD LIKE ALL
OF THEM TO MEET YOU IN PERSON,
1815
00:52:59,243 --> 00:53:01,188
SPECIAL TREAT, I WOULD LIKE ALL
OF THEM TO MEET YOU IN PERSON,
AND I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET THEM.
1816
00:53:01,212 --> 00:53:03,923
OF THEM TO MEET YOU IN PERSON,
AND I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET THEM.
COME ON OUT HERE, SID, MEL,
1817
00:53:03,947 --> 00:53:06,160
AND I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET THEM.
COME ON OUT HERE, SID, MEL,
IRVING, WAYNE, MARTY.
1818
00:53:06,184 --> 00:53:07,261
COME ON OUT HERE, SID, MEL,
IRVING, WAYNE, MARTY.
COME ON.
1819
00:53:07,285 --> 00:53:08,962
IRVING, WAYNE, MARTY.
COME ON.
STEP DOWN HERE.
1820
00:53:08,986 --> 00:53:11,064
COME ON.
STEP DOWN HERE.
I WANT YOU TO MEET MY WRITERS,
1821
00:53:11,088 --> 00:53:12,599
STEP DOWN HERE.
I WANT YOU TO MEET MY WRITERS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
1822
00:53:12,623 --> 00:53:15,391
I WANT YOU TO MEET MY WRITERS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
[APPLAUSE]
1823
00:53:26,236 --> 00:53:29,338
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
1824
00:53:38,715 --> 00:53:41,861
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I
SAID.
STAY THERE.
1825
00:53:41,885 --> 00:53:43,963
SAID.
STAY THERE.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I
1826
00:53:43,987 --> 00:53:46,366
STAY THERE.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I
PRESENT TO YOU, ORNETTE COLEMAN.
1827
00:53:46,390 --> 00:53:49,436
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I
PRESENT TO YOU, ORNETTE COLEMAN.
LET'S HEAR IT ONCE MORE.
1828
00:53:49,460 --> 00:53:52,461
PRESENT TO YOU, ORNETTE COLEMAN.
LET'S HEAR IT ONCE MORE.
[APPLAUSE]
1829
00:53:57,166 --> 00:53:59,468
[PLAYING "TIMES SQUARE"]
1830
00:58:42,418 --> 00:58:44,920
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1831
00:58:57,934 --> 00:59:05,934
[PIANO PLAYS]
[APPLAUSE]
♪ OH, IT'S A LONG, LONG WHILE
1832
00:59:13,483 --> 00:59:15,962
[APPLAUSE]
♪ OH, IT'S A LONG, LONG WHILE
FROM MAY TO DECEMBER ♪
1833
00:59:15,986 --> 00:59:18,632
♪ OH, IT'S A LONG, LONG WHILE
FROM MAY TO DECEMBER ♪
♪ BUT THE DAYS GROW SHORT
1834
00:59:18,656 --> 00:59:22,402
FROM MAY TO DECEMBER ♪
♪ BUT THE DAYS GROW SHORT
WHEN YOU REACH SEPTEMBER ♪
1835
00:59:22,426 --> 00:59:24,804
♪ BUT THE DAYS GROW SHORT
WHEN YOU REACH SEPTEMBER ♪
♪ THE AUTUMN WEATHER
1836
00:59:24,828 --> 00:59:27,741
WHEN YOU REACH SEPTEMBER ♪
♪ THE AUTUMN WEATHER
TURNS THE LEAVES TO FLAME ♪
1837
00:59:27,765 --> 00:59:30,410
♪ THE AUTUMN WEATHER
TURNS THE LEAVES TO FLAME ♪
♪ BUT ONE HASN'T GOT TIME
1838
00:59:30,434 --> 00:59:33,780
TURNS THE LEAVES TO FLAME ♪
♪ BUT ONE HASN'T GOT TIME
FOR THE WAITING GAME ♪
1839
00:59:33,804 --> 00:59:36,750
♪ BUT ONE HASN'T GOT TIME
FOR THE WAITING GAME ♪
♪ OH, THE DAYS DWINDLE DOWN
1840
00:59:36,774 --> 00:59:39,019
FOR THE WAITING GAME ♪
♪ OH, THE DAYS DWINDLE DOWN
TO A PRECIOUS FEW ♪
1841
00:59:39,043 --> 00:59:45,759
♪ OH, THE DAYS DWINDLE DOWN
TO A PRECIOUS FEW ♪
♪ SEPTEMBER, NOVEMBER,
1842
00:59:45,783 --> 00:59:48,929
TO A PRECIOUS FEW ♪
♪ SEPTEMBER, NOVEMBER,
AND THESE FEW PRECIOUS DAYS
1843
00:59:48,953 --> 00:59:51,731
♪ SEPTEMBER, NOVEMBER,
AND THESE FEW PRECIOUS DAYS
I SPEND WITH YOU ♪
1844
00:59:51,755 --> 00:59:54,100
AND THESE FEW PRECIOUS DAYS
I SPEND WITH YOU ♪
♪ THESE PRECIOUS DAYS
1845
00:59:54,124 --> 00:59:57,236
I SPEND WITH YOU ♪
♪ THESE PRECIOUS DAYS
I SPEND WITH YOU ♪
1846
00:59:57,260 --> 00:59:59,573
♪ THESE PRECIOUS DAYS
I SPEND WITH YOU ♪
AND THESE ARE PRECIOUS DAYS,
1847
00:59:59,597 --> 01:00:01,407
I SPEND WITH YOU ♪
AND THESE ARE PRECIOUS DAYS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
1848
01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:02,876
AND THESE ARE PRECIOUS DAYS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
YOU...
1849
01:00:02,900 --> 01:00:04,110
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
YOU...
[PIANO PLAYS "THERE'S NO
1850
01:00:04,134 --> 01:00:08,682
YOU...
[PIANO PLAYS "THERE'S NO
BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS"]
1851
01:00:08,706 --> 01:00:11,051
[PIANO PLAYS "THERE'S NO
BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS"]
AS MY ACCOMPANIST, BUDDY FREED,
1852
01:00:11,075 --> 01:00:13,419
[BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS"]
AS MY ACCOMPANIST, BUDDY FREED,
IS PLAYING THE IMMORTAL STRAINS
1853
01:00:13,443 --> 01:00:15,388
AS MY ACCOMPANIST, BUDDY FREED,
IS PLAYING THE IMMORTAL STRAINS
OF "NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW
1854
01:00:15,412 --> 01:00:17,557
IS PLAYING THE IMMORTAL STRAINS
OF "NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW
BUSINESS," MAY I SAY ON THIS
1855
01:00:17,581 --> 01:00:19,926
OF "NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW
BUSINESS," MAY I SAY ON THIS
SATURDAY NIGHT THAT EVERY TIME
1856
01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:21,928
BUSINESS," MAY I SAY ON THIS
SATURDAY NIGHT THAT EVERY TIME
I HEAR THAT IRVING BERLIN
1857
01:00:21,952 --> 01:00:24,163
SATURDAY NIGHT THAT EVERY TIME
I HEAR THAT IRVING BERLIN
IMMORTAL COMPOSITION, IT DOES
1858
01:00:24,187 --> 01:00:25,531
I HEAR THAT IRVING BERLIN
IMMORTAL COMPOSITION, IT DOES
SOMETHING TO ME.
1859
01:00:25,555 --> 01:00:26,733
IMMORTAL COMPOSITION, IT DOES
SOMETHING TO ME.
I DON'T KNOW.
1860
01:00:26,757 --> 01:00:29,102
SOMETHING TO ME.
I DON'T KNOW.
ESPECIALLY THE WORDS... IT PUTS
1861
01:00:29,126 --> 01:00:31,071
I DON'T KNOW.
ESPECIALLY THE WORDS... IT PUTS
GOOSE PIMPLES ALL OVER ME
1862
01:00:31,095 --> 01:00:34,074
ESPECIALLY THE WORDS... IT PUTS
GOOSE PIMPLES ALL OVER ME
BECAUSE I GUESS I SEE ALL THESE
1863
01:00:34,098 --> 01:00:36,810
GOOSE PIMPLES ALL OVER ME
BECAUSE I GUESS I SEE ALL THESE
YOUNG PERFORMERS HERE, GREAT
1864
01:00:36,834 --> 01:00:39,879
BECAUSE I GUESS I SEE ALL THESE
YOUNG PERFORMERS HERE, GREAT
ONES, AND I THINK OF MYSELF WHEN
1865
01:00:39,903 --> 01:00:41,615
YOUNG PERFORMERS HERE, GREAT
ONES, AND I THINK OF MYSELF WHEN
I WAS THEIR AGE.
1866
01:00:41,639 --> 01:00:44,150
ONES, AND I THINK OF MYSELF WHEN
I WAS THEIR AGE.
AND I... SHOW BUSINESS HAS BEEN
1867
01:00:44,174 --> 01:00:45,085
I WAS THEIR AGE.
AND I... SHOW BUSINESS HAS BEEN
MY LIFE.
1868
01:00:45,109 --> 01:00:47,621
AND I... SHOW BUSINESS HAS BEEN
MY LIFE.
I KNOW NOTHING... AT THE AGE OF
1869
01:00:47,645 --> 01:00:50,090
MY LIFE.
I KNOW NOTHING... AT THE AGE OF
11, I MADE MY EIGHTH COMEBACK.
1870
01:00:50,114 --> 01:00:51,091
I KNOW NOTHING... AT THE AGE OF
11, I MADE MY EIGHTH COMEBACK.
[LAUGHTER]
1871
01:00:51,115 --> 01:00:53,093
11, I MADE MY EIGHTH COMEBACK.
[LAUGHTER]
YOU KNOW, I DON'T GET TOO MUCH
1872
01:00:53,117 --> 01:00:55,128
[LAUGHTER]
YOU KNOW, I DON'T GET TOO MUCH
OF A CHANCE TO COME EAST TO DO
1873
01:00:55,152 --> 01:00:57,163
YOU KNOW, I DON'T GET TOO MUCH
OF A CHANCE TO COME EAST TO DO
TELEVISION SHOWS, 'CAUSE MOST
1874
01:00:57,187 --> 01:00:59,265
OF A CHANCE TO COME EAST TO DO
TELEVISION SHOWS, 'CAUSE MOST
OF THE INDUSTRY'S IN THE COAST,
1875
01:00:59,289 --> 01:01:01,334
TELEVISION SHOWS, 'CAUSE MOST
OF THE INDUSTRY'S IN THE COAST,
BUT I DID A LOT OF TV WORK THIS
1876
01:01:01,358 --> 01:01:02,201
OF THE INDUSTRY'S IN THE COAST,
BUT I DID A LOT OF TV WORK THIS
PAST YEAR.
1877
01:01:02,225 --> 01:01:04,170
BUT I DID A LOT OF TV WORK THIS
PAST YEAR.
I FIXED THREE SETS YESTERDAY.
1878
01:01:04,194 --> 01:01:06,106
PAST YEAR.
I FIXED THREE SETS YESTERDAY.
BUT IN MY TELEVISION CAREER,
1879
01:01:06,130 --> 01:01:08,174
I FIXED THREE SETS YESTERDAY.
BUT IN MY TELEVISION CAREER,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHILE I'M
1880
01:01:08,198 --> 01:01:10,143
BUT IN MY TELEVISION CAREER,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHILE I'M
ON THE SUBJECT, GOING THROUGH
1881
01:01:10,167 --> 01:01:12,145
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHILE I'M
ON THE SUBJECT, GOING THROUGH
OVER 2,000 LIVE HOUR SHOWS...
1882
01:01:12,169 --> 01:01:13,747
ON THE SUBJECT, GOING THROUGH
OVER 2,000 LIVE HOUR SHOWS...
SOME OF THEM WERE DEAD.
1883
01:01:13,771 --> 01:01:15,715
OVER 2,000 LIVE HOUR SHOWS...
SOME OF THEM WERE DEAD.
BUT EVEN WITH ALL THOSE SHOWS
1884
01:01:15,739 --> 01:01:17,517
SOME OF THEM WERE DEAD.
BUT EVEN WITH ALL THOSE SHOWS
THAT I'VE DONE, YOU GOT TO
1885
01:01:17,541 --> 01:01:18,451
BUT EVEN WITH ALL THOSE SHOWS
THAT I'VE DONE, YOU GOT TO
BELIEVE ME.
1886
01:01:18,475 --> 01:01:20,353
THAT I'VE DONE, YOU GOT TO
BELIEVE ME.
THERE IS NOTHING MORE THRILLING
1887
01:01:20,377 --> 01:01:22,188
BELIEVE ME.
THERE IS NOTHING MORE THRILLING
THAN COMING OUT AND DOING JUST
1888
01:01:22,212 --> 01:01:23,957
THERE IS NOTHING MORE THRILLING
THAN COMING OUT AND DOING JUST
ONE PERFORMANCE IN FRONT OF A
1889
01:01:23,981 --> 01:01:25,525
THAN COMING OUT AND DOING JUST
ONE PERFORMANCE IN FRONT OF A
LIVE, ELECTRIC, IN-PERSON
1890
01:01:25,549 --> 01:01:27,426
ONE PERFORMANCE IN FRONT OF A
LIVE, ELECTRIC, IN-PERSON
AUDIENCE AND TO DO A SHOW LIVE.
1891
01:01:27,450 --> 01:01:29,929
LIVE, ELECTRIC, IN-PERSON
AUDIENCE AND TO DO A SHOW LIVE.
WHEN I ASKED THEM... PARDON ME.
1892
01:01:29,953 --> 01:01:31,831
AUDIENCE AND TO DO A SHOW LIVE.
WHEN I ASKED THEM... PARDON ME.
WHEN THEY BEGGED ME...
1893
01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:33,499
WHEN I ASKED THEM... PARDON ME.
WHEN THEY BEGGED ME...
[LAUGHTER]
1894
01:01:33,523 --> 01:01:35,201
WHEN THEY BEGGED ME...
[LAUGHTER]
TO BE ON THE SHOW, I WAS
1895
01:01:35,225 --> 01:01:35,935
[LAUGHTER]
TO BE ON THE SHOW, I WAS
THRILLED.
1896
01:01:35,959 --> 01:01:37,937
TO BE ON THE SHOW, I WAS
THRILLED.
TO BE ABLE TO AD-LIB AND THROW
1897
01:01:37,961 --> 01:01:39,939
THRILLED.
TO BE ABLE TO AD-LIB AND THROW
CAUTION TO THE WINDS ON A LIVE
1898
01:01:39,963 --> 01:01:41,841
TO BE ABLE TO AD-LIB AND THROW
CAUTION TO THE WINDS ON A LIVE
SHOW, AND IF SOMETHING WRONG
1899
01:01:41,865 --> 01:01:43,843
CAUTION TO THE WINDS ON A LIVE
SHOW, AND IF SOMETHING WRONG
HAPPENS, YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING
1900
01:01:43,867 --> 01:01:44,644
SHOW, AND IF SOMETHING WRONG
HAPPENS, YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING
ABOUT IT.
1901
01:01:44,668 --> 01:01:47,013
HAPPENS, YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING
ABOUT IT.
AND THAT COULD HAPPEN.
1902
01:01:47,037 --> 01:01:48,848
ABOUT IT.
AND THAT COULD HAPPEN.
AND I LOVE THIS.
1903
01:01:48,872 --> 01:01:51,250
AND THAT COULD HAPPEN.
AND I LOVE THIS.
AND I WROTE A BOOK.
1904
01:01:51,274 --> 01:01:54,788
AND I LOVE THIS.
AND I WROTE A BOOK.
I WROTE A BOOK, MY LIFE STORY.
1905
01:01:54,812 --> 01:01:57,390
AND I WROTE A BOOK.
I WROTE A BOOK, MY LIFE STORY.
AND IT'S GOING GREAT.
1906
01:01:57,414 --> 01:02:00,526
I WROTE A BOOK, MY LIFE STORY.
AND IT'S GOING GREAT.
IT'S IN ITS 12th PRINTING.
1907
01:02:00,550 --> 01:02:03,563
AND IT'S GOING GREAT.
IT'S IN ITS 12th PRINTING.
THE FIRST 11 WERE BLURRED, AND
1908
01:02:03,587 --> 01:02:04,764
IT'S IN ITS 12th PRINTING.
THE FIRST 11 WERE BLURRED, AND
WE HAD...
1909
01:02:04,788 --> 01:02:07,067
THE FIRST 11 WERE BLURRED, AND
WE HAD...
BUT IN MY BOOK, I TALK ABOUT MY
1910
01:02:07,091 --> 01:02:09,368
WE HAD...
BUT IN MY BOOK, I TALK ABOUT MY
TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS IN SHOW
1911
01:02:09,392 --> 01:02:11,705
BUT IN MY BOOK, I TALK ABOUT MY
TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS IN SHOW
BUSINESS WHEN I WAS A KID, AND I
1912
01:02:11,729 --> 01:02:14,007
TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS IN SHOW
BUSINESS WHEN I WAS A KID, AND I
SEE THIS YOUNG BOY SITTING DOWN
1913
01:02:14,031 --> 01:02:14,640
BUSINESS WHEN I WAS A KID, AND I
SEE THIS YOUNG BOY SITTING DOWN
HERE.
1914
01:02:14,664 --> 01:02:16,309
SEE THIS YOUNG BOY SITTING DOWN
HERE.
MUST BE ABOUT 15, 16.
1915
01:02:16,333 --> 01:02:18,544
HERE.
MUST BE ABOUT 15, 16.
AND I TRAVELED WITH MY MOTHER.
1916
01:02:18,568 --> 01:02:19,746
MUST BE ABOUT 15, 16.
AND I TRAVELED WITH MY MOTHER.
NOW, TRUST ME.
1917
01:02:19,770 --> 01:02:22,048
AND I TRAVELED WITH MY MOTHER.
NOW, TRUST ME.
I'M NOT ONE TO PREACH "MOMISM."
1918
01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:23,282
NOW, TRUST ME.
I'M NOT ONE TO PREACH "MOMISM."
I DON'T DIG IT.
1919
01:02:23,306 --> 01:02:25,585
I'M NOT ONE TO PREACH "MOMISM."
I DON'T DIG IT.
BUT I HAD SOME KIND OF A MOTHER.
1920
01:02:25,609 --> 01:02:27,320
I DON'T DIG IT.
BUT I HAD SOME KIND OF A MOTHER.
SHE WAS A STAGE MOTHER.
1921
01:02:27,344 --> 01:02:28,922
BUT I HAD SOME KIND OF A MOTHER.
SHE WAS A STAGE MOTHER.
AND WE WENT ALL OVER.
1922
01:02:28,946 --> 01:02:31,091
SHE WAS A STAGE MOTHER.
AND WE WENT ALL OVER.
I PLAYED TOWNS YOU NEVER HEARD
1923
01:02:31,115 --> 01:02:33,193
AND WE WENT ALL OVER.
I PLAYED TOWNS YOU NEVER HEARD
OF, PLACES LIKE LONG DRAWERS,
1924
01:02:33,217 --> 01:02:34,060
I PLAYED TOWNS YOU NEVER HEARD
OF, PLACES LIKE LONG DRAWERS,
MISSOURI.
1925
01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:34,694
OF, PLACES LIKE LONG DRAWERS,
MISSOURI.
SMALL TOWN.
1926
01:02:34,718 --> 01:02:35,962
MISSOURI.
SMALL TOWN.
I PLAYED ONE TOWN IT WAS SO
1927
01:02:35,986 --> 01:02:37,296
SMALL TOWN.
I PLAYED ONE TOWN IT WAS SO
SMALL, THE LOCAL HOOKER WAS A
1928
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:38,231
I PLAYED ONE TOWN IT WAS SO
SMALL, THE LOCAL HOOKER WAS A
VIRGIN.
1929
01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:39,899
SMALL, THE LOCAL HOOKER WAS A
VIRGIN.
[LAUGHTER]
1930
01:02:39,923 --> 01:02:42,202
VIRGIN.
[LAUGHTER]
AND THE HEAD OF THE MAFIA WAS A
1931
01:02:42,226 --> 01:02:43,103
[LAUGHTER]
AND THE HEAD OF THE MAFIA WAS A
FILIPINO.
1932
01:02:43,127 --> 01:02:45,538
AND THE HEAD OF THE MAFIA WAS A
FILIPINO.
I'D LIKE TO QUOTE SOMETHING, IF
1933
01:02:45,562 --> 01:02:47,907
FILIPINO.
I'D LIKE TO QUOTE SOMETHING, IF
I MAY, AT THIS "SATURDAY NIGHT
1934
01:02:47,931 --> 01:02:50,210
I'D LIKE TO QUOTE SOMETHING, IF
I MAY, AT THIS "SATURDAY NIGHT
LIVE" SHOW THAT'S IN MY BOOK.
1935
01:02:50,234 --> 01:02:52,078
I MAY, AT THIS "SATURDAY NIGHT
LIVE" SHOW THAT'S IN MY BOOK.
AND I THINK IT FITS THIS
1936
01:02:52,102 --> 01:02:53,980
LIVE" SHOW THAT'S IN MY BOOK.
AND I THINK IT FITS THIS
SITUATION APPROPRIATELY.
1937
01:02:54,004 --> 01:02:56,049
AND I THINK IT FITS THIS
SITUATION APPROPRIATELY.
I SAY IN THE BOOK... JUST A
1938
01:02:56,073 --> 01:02:56,816
SITUATION APPROPRIATELY.
I SAY IN THE BOOK... JUST A
MINUTE.
1939
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:58,551
I SAY IN THE BOOK... JUST A
MINUTE.
"I LOVE THE TASTE OF COLD CREAM.
1940
01:02:58,575 --> 01:03:00,153
MINUTE.
"I LOVE THE TASTE OF COLD CREAM.
I LOVE THE SCENT AND THE AROMA
1941
01:03:00,177 --> 01:03:00,854
"I LOVE THE TASTE OF COLD CREAM.
I LOVE THE SCENT AND THE AROMA
OF MAKEUP.
1942
01:03:00,878 --> 01:03:01,755
I LOVE THE SCENT AND THE AROMA
OF MAKEUP.
I LIKE LIGHTS.
1943
01:03:01,779 --> 01:03:02,622
OF MAKEUP.
I LIKE LIGHTS.
I LIKE PEOPLE.
1944
01:03:02,646 --> 01:03:04,157
I LIKE LIGHTS.
I LIKE PEOPLE.
I LIKE TO HEAR PEOPLE LAUGH.
1945
01:03:04,181 --> 01:03:05,759
I LIKE PEOPLE.
I LIKE TO HEAR PEOPLE LAUGH.
I LIKE TO TRY TO MAKE THEM
1946
01:03:05,783 --> 01:03:06,392
I LIKE TO HEAR PEOPLE LAUGH.
I LIKE TO TRY TO MAKE THEM
LAUGH."
1947
01:03:06,416 --> 01:03:08,762
I LIKE TO TRY TO MAKE THEM
LAUGH."
YOU KNOW, THE REASON THAT I SANG
1948
01:03:08,786 --> 01:03:10,897
LAUGH."
YOU KNOW, THE REASON THAT I SANG
"SEPTEMBER SONG"... I CANNOT
1949
01:03:10,921 --> 01:03:11,931
YOU KNOW, THE REASON THAT I SANG
"SEPTEMBER SONG"... I CANNOT
TELL A LIE.
1950
01:03:11,955 --> 01:03:14,333
"SEPTEMBER SONG"... I CANNOT
TELL A LIE.
I HAD A BIRTHDAY THIS LAST JULY.
1951
01:03:14,357 --> 01:03:16,502
TELL A LIE.
I HAD A BIRTHDAY THIS LAST JULY.
I FINALLY HIT THE BIG NUMBER,
1952
01:03:16,526 --> 01:03:18,171
I HAD A BIRTHDAY THIS LAST JULY.
I FINALLY HIT THE BIG NUMBER,
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU.
1953
01:03:18,195 --> 01:03:20,273
I FINALLY HIT THE BIG NUMBER,
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU.
I WAS 70, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
1954
01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:21,174
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU.
I WAS 70, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1955
01:03:21,198 --> 01:03:23,243
I WAS 70, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU.
1956
01:03:23,267 --> 01:03:24,978
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU.
WELL...
1957
01:03:25,002 --> 01:03:26,146
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU.
WELL...
NO?
1958
01:03:26,170 --> 01:03:29,215
WELL...
NO?
I DON'T FEEL 70.
1959
01:03:29,239 --> 01:03:31,317
NO?
I DON'T FEEL 70.
I FEEL LIKE A 20-YEAR-OLD.
1960
01:03:31,341 --> 01:03:36,756
I DON'T FEEL 70.
I FEEL LIKE A 20-YEAR-OLD.
BUT THERE'S NEVER ONE AROUND.
1961
01:03:36,780 --> 01:03:37,791
I FEEL LIKE A 20-YEAR-OLD.
BUT THERE'S NEVER ONE AROUND.
OH, BOY.
1962
01:03:37,815 --> 01:03:40,126
BUT THERE'S NEVER ONE AROUND.
OH, BOY.
SEX AFTER 70 IS TERRIFIC,
1963
01:03:40,150 --> 01:03:42,328
OH, BOY.
SEX AFTER 70 IS TERRIFIC,
ESPECIALLY THE ONE IN THE
1964
01:03:42,352 --> 01:03:43,229
SEX AFTER 70 IS TERRIFIC,
ESPECIALLY THE ONE IN THE
WINTER.
1965
01:03:43,253 --> 01:03:45,331
ESPECIALLY THE ONE IN THE
WINTER.
[LAUGHTER]
1966
01:03:45,355 --> 01:03:47,066
WINTER.
[LAUGHTER]
AT THIS SHOW TONIGHT, AND I'M
1967
01:03:47,090 --> 01:03:48,835
[LAUGHTER]
AT THIS SHOW TONIGHT, AND I'M
INDEED HONORED TO BE HERE, I'D
1968
01:03:48,859 --> 01:03:50,670
AT THIS SHOW TONIGHT, AND I'M
INDEED HONORED TO BE HERE, I'D
LIKE TO THANK SOME OF YOU, MOST
1969
01:03:50,694 --> 01:03:52,538
INDEED HONORED TO BE HERE, I'D
LIKE TO THANK SOME OF YOU, MOST
OF YOU, POSSIBLY ALL OF YOU THAT
1970
01:03:52,562 --> 01:03:54,240
LIKE TO THANK SOME OF YOU, MOST
OF YOU, POSSIBLY ALL OF YOU THAT
ARE WATCHING THE SHOW FOR THE
1971
01:03:54,264 --> 01:03:56,142
OF YOU, POSSIBLY ALL OF YOU THAT
ARE WATCHING THE SHOW FOR THE
BIG HELP YOU GAVE ME IN MY EARLY
1972
01:03:56,166 --> 01:03:57,844
ARE WATCHING THE SHOW FOR THE
BIG HELP YOU GAVE ME IN MY EARLY
DAYS IN MY TELEVISION CAREER,
1973
01:03:57,868 --> 01:03:59,378
BIG HELP YOU GAVE ME IN MY EARLY
DAYS IN MY TELEVISION CAREER,
WHEN I WAS ON THE TEXACO.
1974
01:03:59,402 --> 01:04:00,947
DAYS IN MY TELEVISION CAREER,
WHEN I WAS ON THE TEXACO.
AND I WAS GOING PRETTY GOOD FOR
1975
01:04:00,971 --> 01:04:02,548
WHEN I WAS ON THE TEXACO.
AND I WAS GOING PRETTY GOOD FOR
THE FIRST SEVEN OR EIGHT YEARS,
1976
01:04:02,572 --> 01:04:04,150
AND I WAS GOING PRETTY GOOD FOR
THE FIRST SEVEN OR EIGHT YEARS,
UNTIL THEY PUT SOMEBODY OPPOSITE
1977
01:04:04,174 --> 01:04:04,517
THE FIRST SEVEN OR EIGHT YEARS,
UNTIL THEY PUT SOMEBODY OPPOSITE
ME.
1978
01:04:04,541 --> 01:04:06,052
UNTIL THEY PUT SOMEBODY OPPOSITE
ME.
YOU GUESSED IT... HIS
1979
01:04:06,076 --> 01:04:08,121
ME.
YOU GUESSED IT... HIS
EXCELLENCY, BISHOP FULTON SHEEN.
1980
01:04:08,145 --> 01:04:09,722
YOU GUESSED IT... HIS
EXCELLENCY, BISHOP FULTON SHEEN.
OF COURSE, HE DID BETTER THAN I
1981
01:04:09,746 --> 01:04:11,090
EXCELLENCY, BISHOP FULTON SHEEN.
OF COURSE, HE DID BETTER THAN I
DID, 'CAUSE LET'S FACE IT.
1982
01:04:11,114 --> 01:04:12,491
OF COURSE, HE DID BETTER THAN I
DID, 'CAUSE LET'S FACE IT.
HE HAD MUCH BETTER WRITERS.
1983
01:04:12,515 --> 01:04:15,228
DID, 'CAUSE LET'S FACE IT.
HE HAD MUCH BETTER WRITERS.
[LAUGHTER]
1984
01:04:15,252 --> 01:04:17,931
HE HAD MUCH BETTER WRITERS.
[LAUGHTER]
HE HAD MATTHEW, LUKE, MARK.
1985
01:04:17,955 --> 01:04:19,966
[LAUGHTER]
HE HAD MATTHEW, LUKE, MARK.
IN FACT, WHILE I WAS ON TEXACO,
1986
01:04:19,990 --> 01:04:22,001
HE HAD MATTHEW, LUKE, MARK.
IN FACT, WHILE I WAS ON TEXACO,
BISHOP SHEEN AND I HAD THE SAME
1987
01:04:22,025 --> 01:04:23,469
IN FACT, WHILE I WAS ON TEXACO,
BISHOP SHEEN AND I HAD THE SAME
SPONSOR... SKY CHIEF.
1988
01:04:23,493 --> 01:04:24,270
BISHOP SHEEN AND I HAD THE SAME
SPONSOR... SKY CHIEF.
SO I DO...
1989
01:04:24,294 --> 01:04:25,171
SPONSOR... SKY CHIEF.
SO I DO...
[LAUGHTER]
1990
01:04:25,195 --> 01:04:27,273
SO I DO...
[LAUGHTER]
I DO WANT TO TELL YOU THIS, AND
1991
01:04:27,297 --> 01:04:29,209
[LAUGHTER]
I DO WANT TO TELL YOU THIS, AND
I REALLY MEAN IT, LADIES AND
1992
01:04:29,233 --> 01:04:30,076
I DO WANT TO TELL YOU THIS, AND
I REALLY MEAN IT, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
1993
01:04:30,100 --> 01:04:31,878
I REALLY MEAN IT, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
IF I COULD CONTINUE TO GET
1994
01:04:31,902 --> 01:04:34,013
GENTLEMEN.
IF I COULD CONTINUE TO GET
AUDIENCES LIKE YOU'VE BEEN HERE
1995
01:04:34,037 --> 01:04:36,149
IF I COULD CONTINUE TO GET
AUDIENCES LIKE YOU'VE BEEN HERE
TONIGHT, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT
1996
01:04:36,173 --> 01:04:38,318
AUDIENCES LIKE YOU'VE BEEN HERE
TONIGHT, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT
YOU'VE GIVEN ME THE INCENTIVE TO
1997
01:04:38,342 --> 01:04:40,019
TONIGHT, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT
YOU'VE GIVEN ME THE INCENTIVE TO
NEVER STOP ENTERTAINING.
1998
01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:41,654
YOU'VE GIVEN ME THE INCENTIVE TO
NEVER STOP ENTERTAINING.
AND I REALLY MEAN THAT.
1999
01:04:41,678 --> 01:04:43,656
NEVER STOP ENTERTAINING.
AND I REALLY MEAN THAT.
AND I'D LIKE TO SAY GIVE ME A
2000
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:45,791
AND I REALLY MEAN THAT.
AND I'D LIKE TO SAY GIVE ME A
LIVE AUDIENCE, LIKE YOU, FOR THE
2001
01:04:45,815 --> 01:04:47,160
AND I'D LIKE TO SAY GIVE ME A
LIVE AUDIENCE, LIKE YOU, FOR THE
REST OF MY CAREER.
2002
01:04:47,184 --> 01:04:48,962
LIVE AUDIENCE, LIKE YOU, FOR THE
REST OF MY CAREER.
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
2003
01:04:48,986 --> 01:04:51,586
REST OF MY CAREER.
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
2004
01:05:29,858 --> 01:05:35,341
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE!
THANK YOU!
HEY!
2005
01:05:35,365 --> 01:05:38,166
THANK YOU!
HEY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
2006
01:05:53,682 --> 01:05:55,984
Announcer: THIS IS DON PARDO
2007
01:05:56,118 --> 01:05:58,886
SAYING GOOD NIGHT.
214161
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