Original subtitles

So, I put on my boxers,

and then I realize that I put it on backwards,

so the fly is in the back.

- And then it came to me... - Mm-hm.

- Butt fly, right? - Yeah.

So, your sister's still mad at me?

- Yeah, she's never really been one for subtlety. - Yeah.

- That's Benji. Hide me, hide me! - Oh, okay. Why, why?!

Because I don't want to talk to him right now.

- Make yourself bigger! - How? I am naturally dainty.

Okay!

Uh, what was that?

I saw Benji last night, which was great,

until his dad showed up, and told me to stay away from him.

Well, join the club. We're bad boys now, Victor.

Should we start a club? The Daddy Don't Like Me Squad?

He said that I was bad for Benji.

And that I "create chaos".

Okay, that is absurd. You, my friend, are a ray of light.

Thanks, man, but I don't know. I'm startin' to think maybe he's right.

I feel like everyone I'm close to, I wind up hurting.

Okay, name one person.

Mia.

You were figuring out your sexuality. That's your God-given right.

Okay, Rahim.

You were... choosing between two hotties. That happens.

And then, of course, there's, there's Benji.

Like, all of my family stuff was so stressful

that he wound up relapsing.

Okay, yeah, when you lay it out like that,

you do sound a teensy bit like an agent of chaos.

- Yeah, I know. - Do you guys mind keeping the personal banter down?

Class hasn't even started yet, Liam.

God. It's like he wants people to hate him.

Good morning, class!

Today, we will begin an exciting new group project

exploring protein synthesis.

Ya think this is my dream morning?

I wanted to be a dancer.

All right, everyone, choose groups of three.

Hey... why don't we partner up with Liam?

- I mean, I, I know he's a little... - Horrible, yeah.

Well, he just looks so lonely.

No, you're trying to do a mitzvah

to prove you're not an agent of chaos.

What's a mitzvah?

Dude, we really need to get you on the Mrs. Maisel train.

Hey, Liam... Do you wanna be our partner?

Really? Thanks.

Ah, you know, I'm gonna ask the guidance counselor

if working with you two dummies counts as community service.

Oh my God.

So, I just took another SAT practice test

and the results were... not pretty.

But you're pretty.

Aww, cute, but not helpful.

Wanna do a study sesh tonight? We can make some flashcards.

- Please? - Okay, fine.

You guys?

Oh, absolutely not. My jump shot is my SAT.

Uh, sorry. One second.

Hi.

What?!

Wha... Um, I... Wait, I thought,

I thought she wasn't due for another three weeks.

Um, oh, yeah, of course, um.

Call me when you can.

Love you.

Veronica's in labor.

Whoa, Baby Brooks comin' in hot!

So, are you not excited about this?

Yeah, um, but I was supposed to be there.

You know, I, I booked my ticket already and everything,

and now I'm, I'm just gonna miss the whole thing.

Right. So, you'll miss the birth.

What's important is you're gonna be a big sister.

Yeah, and since I'm your sister, that means I'll be the baby's auntie.

Uh, wait, if you're my sister,

wouldn't that make you the baby's sister, too?

This is why I need to study.

Pilar... Hey, Pilar, Pilar, hey, hey.

Um, look, I know you're pissed.

I just... I, I, I think we should talk about it.

Okay, fine. Let's talk. Do you wanna be with me,

or are you still too scared of making my dad angry?

To be fair, your dad's already angry.

I-I'm scared of making him angrier.

Goodbye, Felix.

Oh, look, we are eating lunch with Liam.

You know, this day is just getting better and better.

Well, I figured it'd be good for us to get to know each other.

- Okay, well, here's all you need to know about me. - Mm.

I have never gotten less than an A on anything,

and I don't intend to start now.

I need to become valedictorian, so that I can go to Harvard,

and then, you know, obviously Harvard Law,

and then, become the President.

Oh, well, you certainly have the personality for it.

Um... Oh!

Just remembered I actually have an AP Lit quiz to cram for.

- I will see you two later. - Um, yeah, see you later.

Oh my God.

Hey, isn't that the sound your gay dating app makes?

Liam is in the closet.

That explains why he's so uptight and pushes everyone away.

Oh, he's not a dick. He just wants dick.

He probably just needs someone to talk to,

and I could be that someone.

I could be his Simon.

Oh yeah, that's right. Simon. What ever happened to that guy?

Okay, mi lindo.

What is the difference between a dictatorship and an oligarchy?

No idea. What is it?

Oh... well, obviously, I know,

but if I told you that would be cheating, so look it up.

- Hey, guys. - Hi.

Oh, wow.

No loud, angry music coming from Pilar's room.

Yeah, she's not home. I let her hang out with Rahim.

What?

But we agreed she'd come straight home after school.

You can't just change the rules without telling me.

I know, but our daughter has been miserable

since we forbid her to see Felix, and I thought she needed a friend.

What she needs... is to learn not to lie to us.

Now, you call her right now and tell her to come home.

- Honey, I think it's okay. - I don't care what you think.

- I'll call her myself if you won't do it. - Fine. Go do it.

I didn't realize that we we're living in a dictatorship.

Or an oligarchy. I lied. I don't know the difference.

Ugh, these apps are a hellscape.

Why can't I just have an old fashioned "meet-cute"

where a hot stranger and I reach for the same kombucha

in the grocery store? Is that so hard to ask?

- Enough! - Oh my God, chill.

I was, literally, complaining for, like, a second.

Not you. Felix.

He won't stop with the apology memes.

I mean, either man up and date me behind my father's back,

or leave me alone.

I know we're mad at Felix, but at least he has a face.

- Mm. - Mm-hm.

Oh, good. The other guy I'm furious at.

- What? - Come home right now, young lady.

- I'm with Rahim. Mom said I could. - I don't care what she said.

I want you in your room in 15 minutes.

Goodbye.

Whoa... that was badass.

Mom? Dayi? Uh.

- What are you doing here? - Your uncle wanted coffee,

and you're always raving about this place and their chile mocha latte.

What is this ridiculous purple jacket? This is a woman's jacket.

- Uh, I... - It's mine. I lent it to Rahim

since it's so cold in here.

And you wanted to wear this?

- Well, um... - Yes...

because Pilar is Rahim's girlfriend,

and they share everything, even jackets.

- Uh, Mom, can I talk to you for a second? - Mm-hm.

- So, you are his girlfriend? - I'm sorry, I panicked.

He flies back to Tehran tomorrow.

Let him think you have girlfriend, eh? What's the harm?

Okay, sure.

- Love to. - Great.

Rahim, Pilar is wonderful.

I invited her to my farewell dinner tonight.

- Should we go try the chile mocha latte? - Of course, of course.

It's fine.

I'd rather be your fake girlfriend than see my real father, so.

Oh, hi! Come in. You must be Victor's friend.

"Friend" is a bit much. Let's go with colleague.

- Okay... Victor, your colleague is here! - Thanks.

Oh! Hey, Liam. I'm so glad you could make it.

Yeah, like I said, I just need to get an A on this project.

Is Felix coming?

Um, no, no. He's, he's not gonna be able to make it,

um, but I just didn't want you to do this project alone.

You're not alone.

Okay, weirdo.

Hey, do you have any unsweetened iced tea?

Don't answer that. Probably not.

You seem like you're always hyped up on refined sugar.

Where is your room?

He's going through something.

She's still not home.

I told her to come home and she's just... not.

We have totally lost control here.

Hm. I would weigh in here, but since you don't care what I think.

I'm sorry I said that. Of course, I care what you think.

Okay? It's just that I'm...

so mad at Pilar.

- Are you, Mando? - Yes, of course.

All the lying and sneaking around...

Is exactly what we were doing when we were two teenagers in love.

The way you're acting... this isn't just overprotective dad.

Makes me wonder...

if you're thinking about...

Camila.

What? No... No, that's, that's not what this is about.

All right.

Hey, your dad is going to call with an update as soon as he can.

He's probably just... massaging Veronica's placenta.

Ew, what?

Is that not something people do during labor?

Okay, um, repudiate.

Easy. To pudiate something again.

You're adorable when you're clueless, but no.

Repudiate is "to refuse to accept".

As in, "Every decent college is going to repudiate us

if we don't learn what these frickin' words mean".

I need a break.

Do you think that he's not calling because there's something wrong?

Do you think that the hospital would know to call me

if there was something wrong?

I don't think that anything is wrong.

Yeah... you're probably right.

Yeah.

I just can't believe I'm missing this.

So, Rahim, how did you meet this lovely young lady?

Well, we spent the summer working the same job

selling pretzels at the mall.

We bonded over our mutual love for Billie Eilish,

who is a very famous American hockey player.

- Ah. - Yes, hockey.

Our favorite sport with the skating and pucks.

- Oh! - Oh my God! This is a designer sweater.

I mean, who cares about designer? Not... this... bro.

I am so... so sorry.

Hey, we've met before, at that Creekwood girl's party.

Uh, sorry. I don't remember.

A-actually, yeah, you spilled on me, so...

I guess now we're spill buddies.

Uh, can you please get me some club soda?

- Yeah, right on it. - Thank you.

What was this party? Not an American beer party.

- That waiter was hitting on you. - What? No, he wasn't.

Of course, he was, dum-dum. I mean, "spill buddies"?

Nobody says anything that lame unless they're crushing hard.

Oh my God, oh my God. You're right.

I spilled on him. He spilled on me.

That was my meet-cute. I just missed my meet-cute.

Uh, this is just a simple model I made of the protein.

Obviously, the real one won't be so rudimentary.

Yeah, obviously.

Um, hey, you know I'm gay, right?

Yeah, yeah. You stood up on a chair

and announced it to the whole school.

Made me late for class.

Yeah, um... well, before that, I was in the closet,

and I felt... really alone.

And then I started messaging this guy, Simon...

I'm sorry. Why're you telling me all this?

Liam, I, I heard the app on your phone today.

Oh, um...

Well, it's not, it's not like I'm...

- N... no, no, no. Liam, Liam, Liam. - I just... I, I, don't, like, do any...

It-it's, it's okay.

Let, let me be here for you.

No, no, no, no.

- That was not, That was not the... - Oh. I thought, um...

I mean, you really made it seem like you wanted that.

No. No, Liam, Liam, I, I, I just wanted to help.

I didn't ask for your help!

Why couldn't you have just left me alone?

Hey, Mama. You look nice.

Thank you. Going to evening mass.

What's goin' on with Dad?

I think your sister broke him.

Can I go to church with you?

Is this happening? Is this a dream?

- Please don't make a big deal outta this. - Oh, gracias a dios.

I never thought I'd see the day.

- I'm gonna go grab my jacket, so. - Hurry, let's go.

I did it!

Oh, I was just about to bring you your club soda.

It's fine... really.

Look, I am so sorry if I was intense back there.

Weird night. One of those "fake date your bestie

to convince your homophobic uncle that you're straight" scenarios.

Is your fake girlfriend for hire?

Will she come to my grandma's for Easter?

Um,

it has come to my attention that I may have missed our meet-cute.

Ah, no shit. Nice of you to finally notice.

Maybe I can get your number?

Before I have to go back to the old ball and chain?

Yeah.

I'm Connor by the way.

Rahim.

I gotta run.

So, Pilar, tell me, how did Rahim convince a wonderful girl like you

to go out with him?

- That's a joke. - Oh, I, I don't know.

Uh-oh. You're under Lake's weighted blanket cuddling a... creepy doll.

Mm, I knitted it for the baby.

Well, come on... I got a surprise for you.

Okay.

- Okay. - This will be worth it. I promise.

- Hi! - Hey, honey!

Oh my God.

Hey, listen, I would've called you earlier,

but this one... had me running around looking for ice chips.

"This one" is about to deliver your baby.

I know, I know.

How did you do this?

I called the hospital and used my undeniable charm

to convince a lovely nurse named Diane to bring in an iPad.

- Uh, he Venmo'd her a hundred bucks. - Yeah, it's charming in its own way.

Thank you.

Okay, we can all agree that this is very romantic,

but this is called FaceTime, not VaginaTime.

Just bring it up.

I'm serious. Just bring it up and... Up and in.

Hi.

This is nice. Having you here with me tonight.

Yeah, it is nice.

So... why are you here?

I don't know.

I... guess I always just like how quiet church is at night.

It's always been a place where I could... think about the big things.

You know, like... who I am and who I wanna be.

Any particular reason you're thinking about that right now?

Lately... I feel like all I do is mess things up for everyone in my life.

Like some sort of clueless wrecking ball.

Hey, that's my favorite son you're talking about.

Oldest. I said, "my oldest son".

Ay, don't be so hard on yourself.

Every teenager is a clueless wrecking ball.

And the fact that you're asking yourself these questions,

you're a good man, mijo.

- Yeah, I guess so. - I know so.

- Victor. - Nick.

Hey, um, what are you doing here?

I just finished up youth group.

Oh, I have to go talk to... Jesus about something,

so I'll see you in the car.

Uh, I'm, I'm so glad I ran into you.

I've been wanting to talk to you.

To tell you that I'm... I'm sorry, Victor,

for how I acted when we were hanging out.

- Uh... it-it's fine. - No, it's, it's not.

You wanted to be more than just a booty call,

and I didn't even give it a shot.

Um, but anyway... I'm, I'm sorry, Victor.

- Like I, I said, it's, it's, it's fine. - Okay.

- Well, um... I guess I'll see you around. - Yeah.

- Hi. - Hi.

Can you sit with me a minute?

I'm done yelling... I promise.

Your mom and I... we were about your age when we got together.

And I, I know that things are different now.

Yeah, women can vote.

What I'm trying to say is that

I know what it's like to be young and in love,

especially when it comes to...

- sex. - Can we go back to yelling?

Well, we thought we were being careful.

But... it only took one slip-up for your mom to get pregnant.

She was only one year older than you.

Wait. What?

We're Catholic, so, of course, we decided to keep it.

We were terrified at first,

but then, found out she was a girl.

So, we started thinking about

putting her in dresses and taking her to the park.

We even picked out a name for her.

Camila.

And at four months... we lost the baby.

Why didn't you tell me this earlier?

It was a long time ago and your mom and I barely talk about it.

But I wanted you to know because

I think it's part of the reason why I'm having so much trouble

- with the idea of you and Felix having... - Please don't say it again, yeah.

Okay. It's just an adult decision with adult consequences.

And... I know that you're becoming a young adult,

but...

I guess sometimes I wish you would just stay my baby girl.

I wasn't lying to you.

I got the birth control just to be prepared

- in case Felix and I decided to... - Pilar,

if you really love Felix, then you should be together.

Consider your relationship un-forbidden.

Tonight was a total bust.

The only new word I learned was "repudiate",

which means...

Damnit!

Babe, just try to relax.

How? How, how are you so chill about this?

This test defines our entire futures and yet, you don't seem to care.

Well, actually, it doesn't define my future, like, at all.

I don't think I'm gonna go to college.

You're not?

I have enough credits to graduate.

Like, early. Like, this spring.

And I have a cousin who lives in Portland

who says I can stay with her until I figure things out.

Figure what out?

Like, a job, my own place.

Wait, wait, wait, so you're, like,

planning on permanently moving to Portland at the end of the semester

and you didn't think, maybe, that was worth mentioning?

I did mention it, um.

The first night we hung out,

I said I was saving up to get out of Creekwood as soon as possible,

that I felt stuck here.

I know I haven't brought it up since.

It's just, things have been so amazing between us.

I just... I didn't wanna ruin it.

You guys! The baby's here!

You okay?

Yeah, yeah. I'm just, um... ruminating.

SAT word. Let's go meet the baby.

Aw, he's so little. I just wanna squish his face.

This calls for Georgina's best bottle of champagne.

She's been saving it for "something special"

for, like, a decade.

You know we can hear you, Lake?

I definitely meant Georgina's "sparkling apple cider".

I'm gonna give you guys a moment.

Tellin' you, Beans. You gotta get a whiff of this little guy.

There's nothing in the world like fresh baby.

Mm, I wish I could smell through the screen.

Oh, oh, Mia, we have to go. They're moving us

- to the maternity ward. - We... we'll, we'll call you later, honey.

All right? I love you.

Oh, this is so weird.

I have a brother... and I've never even met him.

I guess this is what I wanted.

Getting to stay in Creekwood.

Well... why don't we go meet him?

I'm serious. We can take the next flight out

and... stay for a few days.

Yeah. A few days. That sounds perfect.

I just wanted to tell you there's some bastani in the freezer

in case you wanted a little dessert.

No, thanks.

I hate pretending to be someone I'm not.

I know. I'm sorry. It was only because

Farzad would never understand.

I don't care... if he understands.

For years, I wondered if it was possible for me

to be gay and Iranian and Muslim.

And when you and Baba accepted me,

I finally believed I could be all of those things.

For the first time in my life,

I was proud.

And then you made me hide again.

Never again.

Never again.

That waiter you were talking to was very handsome.

Okay, no, I'm, I'm not doing this

- with you right now. - Huh? I told you your boy would come.

It is written.

Hey.

Hey.

Are you comin' to see me?

I just wanted to let you know that my dad and I made up.

He apologized and everything.

Okay. Oh my God. All right, that is a relief.

All right, we can finally get back to being normal... Unpause.

Okay, what-what's wrong?

It was really easy for you to pick my family over me.

No. No, okay? You're wrong. All right, that was not easy.

That was... brutal.

Not brutal enough, I guess.

I could've never dropped you like that.

I'm sorry, Felix.

This is over.

Pilar.

Hey... Liam. It-it's, uh, me, Victor.

I, I just wanted to call and say I'm sorry.

Um, and, and I'm around if-if you ever wanna talk.

And if you never wanna talk, that's... that's fine, too.

Either way, I'll, I'll still vote for you for President one day.

What are you doing here?

- Are those for me? - Yeah.

Thought you like this corny, romantic stuff.

I mean, that's cheesy, even for me.

Okay, yeah, I overdid it.

Uh, look, um,

I chickened out at church, but what I really wanted to say

was, would you like to go out to dinner sometime?

Uh... you can have these,

and just, just think on it and text me.

I'm in.

- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -