Original subtitles

Oh, ho, ho!

Sarah! You're here early.

You know I have cameras all over this place.

Just kidding. Or am I?

Okay. Um...

Hey, guys.

Uh, Benji, your mom made a lemon icebox pie.

Be right down.

Aw, you're using Nana's throw.

Benji's grandmother made that for him right before she died.

Really? It's, uh...

It's soft.

Victor, how are your hands on my face

- and my butt at the same time? - What?

Sorry. Benji, I, uh, I didn't, I didn't realize that was you.

But you know, to be fair, you and Lake have identical butts.

Oh.

- A huge compliment. - Thanks.

Benji and I have been having a hard time finding privacy.

Same! Lake and I are constantly getting interrupted.

If that rabbi tells us that the synagogue lawn is "private property"

one more time...

Well, my family has a cabin at Lake Lanier.

Why don't we all go up this weekend?

We could swim, or hike,

or, uh... whatever.

Sounds amazing. Yeah, I just gotta check my cal.

Oh. Well, I synced our cals,

and we are wide open.

Well, come on, butt twin.

We gotta go tank a chem test.

Bye!

I got a question.

You and Benji...

How do I ask this like a gentleman?

We haven't had sex yet.

We've done everything else, though.

A lot of really, really good "everything else."

Same! I...

Lake has been wanting to take things slow.

Which I totally respect.

I mean, she talks a big game, but deep down,

she is pruder than my Aunt Barbara.

Yeah. You know, it's just...

I just kind of want our first time to be special, you know?

And it's so hard to find privacy.

But nothing sounds more private than a secluded lake house.

I can't believe we're gonna be losing our virginities together.

You know, we're gonna be bone brothers.

Yeah, okay. Don't, don't call us that.

Deflowered dudes?

Hello! Hello. Hi. Hi.

What's with the dumb smile?

Is that a weed scone? 'Cause it's eight in the morning.

Tyler made it.

He took me to watch the sun rise over Piedmont Park this morning.

Okay. Damn.

College guy is romantic as balls.

I could listen to him talk about his art projects forever.

The boy does seem to talk a lot about his art.

Oh, my God, wait. You should totally bring him

to Benji's cabin this weekend!

I mean, everyone's going.

You think?

I mean, we've only been out a couple times.

I mean, Andrew is bringing Lucy. Would that be weird?

I don't know.

I mean, he's with Lucy now, and I'm excited about Tyler.

Well, great. I will tell Benji.

Wait, are you and Felix gonna do it this weekend?

Um...

Maybe. Yeah, I mean, I haven't really thought about it.

You have a whole "losing your virginity" Pinterest board.

I mean, yeah, I have thought about it.

But yeah, I don't know if it's really the right vibe.

You know, a bunch of sweaty, horned-up teenagers

drinking room temp beer in the woods?

- No. - Cabins are so romantic.

I mean, there's lying under the stars

with your favorite person,

and thinking about how small you actually are, and...

Okay, I'm trying this.

Thank you very much. Bye!

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Hey, uh, can I talk to you about something really quick?

You guys ready to spend the weekend at my place?

I got the Scrabble board all set up!

How many points for "kill me now?"

Um, actually, I-I was just about to tell Mom,

uh, Benji invited us all to his cabin for the night,

and I really want to go.

Uh, okay. Uh, we'll hang out next weekend.

Armando.

Don't you think we should talk about this in private?

Yes! Discuss it privately.

Maybe in the bedroom, over a nice glass of vino?

He watched The Parent Trap,

so now he thinks he can trick us into getting back together.

There will be no vino. It is 10:00 a.m.,

and it's not a major holiday. Go, and get ready for Papi's.

Mom, there's nothing to discuss.

I understand you don't like the idea of me going away with Benji.

But that's not a good reason for you to ruin this for me.

Damn. Gay Victor has way bigger balls than straight Victor.

Your father said yes.

So go.

Thanks.

And thank you, Papi.

Sure.

Wow. This place is insane.

Benji, are you low-key rich?

I make twelve dollars an hour at Brasstown coffee.

But my grandpa invented this non-damaging straightening iron...

- so... - Oh, my God. Can you thank him for me?

This place is amazing.

I know. Can you imagine the bird-watching here?

I don't know what I'm more excited about... the birds or the sex.

Pretty great, right?

My family's had it forever.

I'm really excited we're here.

Me, too.

Okay...

Hey, Simon.

You said I could talk to you about anything.

So, I think that I'm gonna have sex with Benji

for the first time tonight,

and I was wondering if you're around to chat.

Uh, hey, babe?

Do you guys have WiFi here?

No service. No WiFi.

And it takes a second, but...

it actually feels really great to just... disconnect.

Feels great already.

One time I went into the studio

to work for twenty minutes before lunch,

and next thing I know, the sun is coming up.

I'm like that, too.

Like, when I'm in the zone, the hours just, like, fly by.

- Um-hmm. - I started getting into painting recently.

I'm currently in a water color phase.

Oh. Cute.

I'm working on this new photo series

where I'm taking pictures of my hand.

Right, you mentioned that this morning.

It's gonna be close ups of my hands,

holding all these different objects

from throughout my life.

- You know, rattles, bottles... - Is your car usually this loud?

No. But I don't really take her on road trips much.

Tyler, I think you should stop.

- Okay, yeah, it's, um... yeah. - Yeah.

It's okay. I have a spare.

Great.

I hate to ask, but do you think you could change it?

I just don't want to mess with my hands

right in the middle of my photo series.

I'll be your tire wingman every step of the way.

Uh, sure.

Thanks.

Isa?

Oh, look who it is! The good cop.

Adrian forgot his turtle.

- He really loves that thing. - Yeah.

I heard him talking to her the other day

about how they were gonna get married one day.

She's not there.

What?

I must have forgotten to close it when

I fed her this morning.

I can't believe I lost his future bride!

I mean, I don't think we should normalize that.

Well, she's gotta be around.

Her species isn't known for speed, right?

Here, Heather!

Wow, Victor.

You know, I promise you, today's TikToks will still be there tomorrow.

Sorry.

Yo!

Hello, hello.

- Hey. - Hey, what's up?

Benji, this place is legit!

We are definitely doing it on a bearskin rug this weekend.

Oh, my God. Gross, Andrew.

Bedrooms are down the hall.

- Thank you. - Okay.

You know, there's a sexy rug in our room, too.

Yeah, but we'll barely even be in there, right?

We'll just be hanging out with everyone else all night.

Oh.

Okay.

I'm gonna go freshen up.

Hey.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, sorry.

Uh, I just told my parents I'd let them know when we got here,

and I don't want them to freak out on me.

Oh, well, the general store has service.

It's ten minutes into town. I'll walk with you.

Oh, no, no, no.

I can go with. Uh, Lake actually needs some bug spray.

You know those mosquitoes

can't resist, uh, her delicate veins.

Uh, okay, yeah. Yeah. We'll be right back.

Just stay here and host.

- Let's go. - Yeah.

Confession: I don't need bug spray.

I just need to talk. One virgin to another.

Yeah, what's up?

This whole trip was supposed to be about

me spending some alone time with Lake.

Now she's acting all weird about it.

And I get wanting to take things slow,

but I'm starting to wonder if she's just not that into me.

Like, physically.

Felix, that's not true.

Must be so much simpler with two guys.

Uh, don't be so sure.

Are you stressed about having sex with Benji?

It's just... Benji's had sex before.

And I have no idea what I'm doing.

Like, when it's two guys,

how do you know who's supposed to do what?

I don't know. It's just...

Straight people grow up

seeing other straight people have sex in movies.

I didn't have that.

Unless you count porn,

which is usually really fast,

and grunty, and they're always named Cade.

Oh, yeah, no, no, no. I know Cade.

Yeah, he does straight porn, too.

I just...

really needed a gay person to talk me through this.

You've reached Simon. Leave a message.

Hey, Simon.

Uh, sorry about all the texts.

And the DMs, and now this voicemail.

But if you could give me a call back within the next ten minutes

and tell me everything I could possibly need to know

about gay sex,

that would be great.

Oh, this is Victor, by the way.

Hope you're well.

What up, lover boy?

Dah, who am I kidding?

Ah, sexual health.

- So important. Underfunded in schools. - Yeah.

So, you and Lucy have a very robust sex life.

- Sure. - Lake and I do, too.

You know, s-s... not, well, you know, not yet, but we...

We will one day.

- So you and Lake haven't... - You know...

You probably won't understand 'cause you're gorgeous, but, uh,

I'm just, I'm starting to wonder if Lake is...

All right, man. You need to relax.

Stressed and desperate are not turn-ons.

You have to be... confident.

Well, stressed and desperate is my resting state.

All right, look. Sex is scary for everyone the first time.

I think the key is accepting

that some moments will forever live on

in the sexual blooper reel of our lives.

If you're with the right person,

doesn't matter.

Well, that's how it was for me, anyway.

Oh, and grooming is no longer just for the ladies,

so, if downtown Felix looks anything like uptown Felix...

Tidy up.

I know we don't like Andrew,

but he just gave me some surprisingly sweet,

and very specific sex advice.

Well, congratulations.

I'm sorry. I'm just really freaked out right now.

Victor, everything is gonna be fine.

All right? From the words of a sex god, stressed is not a turn on.

You just need to relax.

And how exactly do you suggest I do that?

Yo! You nerds ready to get loose?

I got vodka.

Okay, uh,

I, I finished taking off the lug nuts. What do I do next?

Tyler!

Tyler!

Sorry. There's a really pretty beetle on top of this pile of shit.

The juxtaposition between beauty and filth,

- it's just, it's... - What do I do after the lug nuts, Tyler?

You should go home.

You're missing your whole weekend with the kids.

I am not going back there without a turtle.

That little boy's already on the brink.

Who isn't?

Look, I know you're mad at me for

letting Victor go to the lake with Benji,

but I want him to know that I support him.

That's what they tell us to do at my PFLAG meetings.

You know what? I'm really impressed with you.

How you're handling all of this.

A lot of guys would get all weird and machista,

but you're really trying.

- Okay. All right. - I'm serious.

Who would have thunk that the 17-year-old tough guy

walking around school with his little goatee,

listening to Naughty By Nature on his Walkman

would turn out to be such a caring and sensitive father?

I love me some Naughty By Nature.

Whew. You are...

lapping me at dealing with this, Mando.

You'll get there.

Yeah, I, I know you will.

Thank you.

Hmm. We should look for the turtle.

Yeah.

Let me see that.

Delish.

Uh, hey, can I have some more?

Thanks.

Pace yourself.

I'll be fine.

I hope Mia's okay. She should be here by now.

Let's play a drinking game. Huh?

Ooh, let's play something where we can get Benji naked.

Or we can play Never Have I Ever.

Okay. I'll go first.

Never have I ever had a sex dream

about my mailman.

Aah. Not cool.

Okay, let me go.

Never have I ever had sex

with more than three people.

- At once? - No!

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Oh!

Hey, Victor.

Looks like you've got yourself an experienced lover on your hands.

Wanna check on those nachos with me?

Uh, I'm gonna go and find Felix.

Oh. Mia. Finally.

You are just in time for Never Have I Ever.

Aah. Um...

Never have I ever dumped a college guy

by the side of the road

because he turned out to be an insufferable jackass,

and then walked the last five miles to a cabin.

Just me?

Can I get you a drink?

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on...

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Aah! Oh!

Damn!

Okay...

Aah!

- Ooh... - Holy shit!

Close the door.

Felix, what did you do?

I had a little man-scaping accident.

I couldn't find the shaving cream, so I used conditioner,

and all that hair and skin and conditioner got very slippery...

What happened to your head?

I fell off the bed.

Look at us.

Two virgins,

bleeding out in the bathroom.

At least it's not on your head.

Oh, no.

I got the head.

Oh, Felix.

You know, probably a stupid question,

but why don't you just tell Benji

that you're nervous to have sex?

For the same reason you don't want to talk to Lake.

It's embarrassing.

More embarrassing than this?

Oh, there you are.

Hey. Sorry for vanishing.

You okay?

Are you limping?

No! No, no, this is, uh, actually, uh, you know.

New walk I've been trying.

Right?

Okay, fine. Um, I, uh...

I shaved, and I...

... cut my testicles, and a teensy, tiny bit of my penis.

Oh...

Wait. Why?

Because I wanted...

things to look good for you.

In case, you know, tonight was the night we...

took it to a new level.

But I've been kind of getting your vibe

that you don't want to do that, which is perfectly fine.

I want to do everything exactly how you want.

But I mean...

I need to know if you find me attractive.

Because not knowing has been making me spiral.

Felix.

You are the best person I have ever known.

And I am counting that time I met Malala.

But it's just...

It's my own stuff.

When I was five,

my mom started putting me on diets.

And making me do weigh-ins.

And if I was down, she'd be like,

"Oh, good job. You did it!"

But if I was up...

She would look so disappointed.

Then, every day,

she texts me some new article or fad.

- Lake, you are the most... - Beautiful woman you've ever seen?

Yeah, I know that. You tell me, like, a thousand times a day.

But it is just really, really hard

for me to see what you see.

You are the most beautiful woman

I have ever seen.

And I know you might not believe me.

But I'm not gonna stop telling you.

So how about we forget about sex tonight,

and just...

do something fun and stupid?

Yeah, that sounds good.

Okay. What do you wanna do?

- Hey, you. - Hey.

Just wanted to make sure that you were okay.

Oh.

Thanks. Yeah.

Uh, I'm fine.

Hmm.

I'm sorry things didn't work out with your college guy.

It was just nice to be excited about someone.

I'm really happy for you and Lucy, by the way.

Thank you.

She's pretty great.

Hmm.

It's kind of overwhelming.

The universe. How big it is.

How small we are in comparison.

Kind of makes me nauseous.

A good nauseous,

like going up in a roller coaster.

Yeah.

What?

- What? - Nothing.

There you are.

I went for a walk by myself.

'Cause my boyfriend's been acting pretty weird since we got here.

I'm... terrified to have sex for the first time.

I just don't really want our first time

to be something else that you have to hold my hand through.

I don't want you to feel like you...

always have to teach me how to be gay.

Victor, I know who I'm dating.

There's a lot that's new to you,

and that's fine with me.

Although, for the record,

a lot of gay stuff seems to come very naturally to you.

Besides, this is new and scary for me, too.

The idea of being with someone who I...

Well, you know how I feel about you.

Can we just lay like this for the rest of the night?

That sounds perfect.

Okay...

So on three, we're gonna drop our towels.

Okay.

- One... - One...

Two...

- Three. - Three.

Whoa.

You dropped your towel.

So did you.

Uh-huh.

Come on.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Hot damn, does that feel good on my nicked penis!

That was amazing.

And unexpected.

Mmm-hmm.

Probably get back to the kids.

Yeah.

So...

- Last night was... - Yeah, it was.

I can't believe I lost my virginity on an actual lake.

Is it poetic, or too on the nose?

Victor, sorry I missed your call.

And you're right... I did tell you we could talk about anything.

But your sex life is...

Well, it's between you and Benji.

If you're truly ready,

you won't need my advice, or anyone else's.

The only person who can make that decision is you.

Morning.

Good morning.

I love you.

You don't have to say it back or anything,

- but I just... - I love you, too.

I was scared to say it yesterday, but...

Of course I do.

Look at you.

Taking the lead in our relationship.

Is this okay?

Yeah.

- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -