Original subtitles

Shush!

I'm stuck!

Get back!

-- Mr Tweedy. -- Eh?

What is that chicken doing outside the fence?

Oh! I don't know, love.

Just deal with it. Now!

I'll teach you to make a fool out of me.

Let that be a lesson to the lot of ya!

NO chicken escapes from Tweedy's farm!

Oh!

Morning, Ginger. Back from holiday?

I wasn't on holiday, Babs. I was in solitary confinement.

Oh, it's nice to get a bit of time to yourself, isn't it?

Roll call!

Come along, now. You'll be late for parade.

Pip, pip. Quick march. Left, right, left, right.

Left, right, left, right!

-- Come on. Smarten up. -- Ooh!

Discipline! Order!

Back in my RAF days, when the officer called for a scramble,

you'd hop in the old crate and tally--ho. Chocks away!

Give over, you old fool. They just want to count us.

How dare you talk back to a senior ranking officer?

-- Why, back in my RAF days---- -- Fowler, they're coming.

-- Oh, right, right. -- Oh!

There will be a stern reprimand for you, lad. You're grounded.

Attention!

Welcome back, hen. Is there a new plan?

I thought we tried goin' under.

Ah! Over. Right.

How's the egg count?

I've laid five eggs this morning. Five!

-- Well--chuffed with that, I was---- -- Shush!

Oh, no. Edwina.

Bunty, why didn't you give her some of yours?

I would have. She didn't tell me. She didn't tell anyone.

Oh, is Edwina off on holiday?

We've got to get out of here.

Ginger! Are we still on?

Oh, we're on, all right.

Spread the word, Mac. Meeting tonight in hut 17.

Oh!

You called? Nick and----

-- Fetcher. -- At your service.

Over here.

We need some more things.

Right you are, miss. How about this quality handcrafted tea set?

Uh, no.

-- Or a lovely necklace and pendant? -- It's love----

Or this beautiful number,

all the rage in the fashionable chicken coops of Paree.

Simply pop it on like so,

and as the French hens say, "Voilà!"

That's French.

That's two hats in one, miss. For parties, for weddings.

Oh, but madame, this makes you look like a vision, like a dream.

-- Like a duck. -- No, thank you.

We're making this. We need THESE things. Can you get them?

Oh, oh, oh, this is a big job, miss.

Oh, bigger than the others. No, no. This is gonna cost.

Same as always. One bag of seed.

-- You call this pay? -- It's chicken feed.

-- What else could we give you? -- Eggs.

-- Eggs? -- Eggs.

We can't give you eggs. They're too valuable.

And so are we.

After you, Fetcher.

After I what?

-- Move! -- Ooh!

Hmm...

Twenty--two and nine.

Fourteen shillings and threepence.

Seven and sixpence times three.

Two and nine.

Fourpence ha'penny.

D--oh! Stupid, worthless creatures!

I'm sick and tired of making minuscule profits.

Hmm.

Hmm!

Oh, yes.

Those chickens are up to something.

Quiet. I'm onto something.

They're organised. I know it.

-- I said, quiet. -- That ginger one.

I reckon she's their leader.

Mr Tweedy!

I may finally have found a way to make us some real money here,

and what are you on about?

Ridiculous notions of escaping chickens.

But---- But----

It's all in your head, Mr Tweedy. Say it!

It's all in me head. It's all in me head.

Now, you keep telling yourself that,

because I don't want to hear another word about it.

-- Is that clear? -- Yes, love.

But you know that ginger one----

It's chickens, you dolt!

Apart from you, they're the most stupid creatures on this planet!

They don't plot, they don't scheme, and they are not organised.

Order! Order!

Quiet, everyone. Settle down.

I would like to call to order---- Please, if you could just----

Let's have some discipline in the ranks! What, what!

-- Thank you, Fowler. -- In my RAF day,

we were never allowed to waste time with unnecessary chit--chat.

Yes, thank you, Fowler.

Right!

Carry on.

Now, I know our last escape attempt was a bit of a fiasco,

but Mac and I have come up with a brand--new plan.

-- Show 'em, Mac. -- Right.

We tried going under the wire and that didn't work.

So, the plan is...we go OVER it.

This is us, right?

We get in like this.

Wind her up and...let her go!

Good grief! The turnip's bought it!

Farmer's coming!

Operation Cover--up!

Whee!

Ouch!

Hmm.

Huh?

- - Mr Tweedy! - - Ooh. Ouch.

< -- Where are you? -- Ooh. It's all in your head.

It's all in your head. It's all in your head.

Think, everyone, think. What haven't we tried yet?

Uh----

We haven't tried NOT trying to escape.

Hmm. That might work.

What about Edwina?

How many more empty nests will it take?

Perhaps it wouldn't be empty

if she'd spent more time laying and less time escaping.

So laying eggs all your life...

and then getting plucked, stuffed and roasted is good enough?

It's a livin'.

You know what the problem is?

The fences aren't just round the farm. They're up here in your heads.

There's a better place out there, somewhere beyond that hill,

and it has wide open spaces and lots of trees...

and grass.

Can you imagine that? Cool, green grass.

-- Who feeds us? -- We feed ourselves.

-- Well, where's the farm? -- There is no farm.

-- Then where does the farmer live? -- There is no farmer, Babs.

-- Is he on holiday? -- He isn't anywhere.

Don't you get it?

There's no morning head count, no farmers, no dogs, coops and keys

and no fences.

In all my life I've never heard such a fantastic...

load of tripe!

Oh, face the facts, ducks.

The chances of us gettin' out of here are a million to one.

Then there's still a chance.

Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. What am I doing?

Who are you trying to fool? You can't lead this bunch of----

Oh, heaven help us.

Freedoooom!

Huh?

Whoa!

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

You've been a wonderful audience.

-- Ouch! -- Oh, yes.

That's it!

Get him inside quickly.

THIS is our way out of here.

We'll make posters?

No. What's ON the poster, Babs. What's ON the poster.

We'll fly out!

He must be important to have his picture taken. What does he do?

Isn't it obvious? He's a professional flying rooster.

He flies from farm to farm, giving demonstrations.

-- Do you suppose? -- Oh, absolutely.

Not in the dark, no. No, not in there. No.

Get out. Good. Gotta get----

Who are you? Where am I? What's goin' on?

Ouch! What happened to my wing?

You took a rather nasty fall.

And sprained the anterior tendon.

I gave it a wee bit of a tweak and wrapped her up.

-- Was that English? -- You sprained a wing. She fixed it.

-- I made the bandage. -- I--I carried you in.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa! Whoa.

Let's back up and start from the top. Where am I?

You're right. How rude. We're just very excit----

This is a chicken farm.

And we're the chickens.

Yeah, with you so far. Chicken farm, chickens----

I don't like the look of this one. His eyes are too close together.

-- Fowler, please. -- And he's a Yank!

Easy, Pops. Cockfighting's illegal where I come from.

And where is that exactly?

A place I call the land of the free and the home of the brave.

-- Scotland! -- No! America.

Oh! America.

Poppycock. Pushy Americans. Showing up late for every war.

Overpaid, oversexed and over here!

What's eatin' Grandpa?

Oh, don't mind him, Mister---- Mister?

Name's Rocky. Rocky the Rhode Island Red. Rhodes for short.

-- Rocky Rhodes? -- Catchy, ain't it?

Um, Mr Rhodes, is this you?

Uh, who wants to know?

A group of rather desperate chickens.

You see, if it is you,

then you just might be the answer to our prayers.

Well, then, call me a miracle, dollface, 'cause that's me.

And what brings you to England, Mr Rhodes?

Why, all the beautiful English chicks, of course.

Give over!

You see, I'm a traveller by nature.

I've done the whole barnyard thing, but I couldn't get into it.

Hi. How are you? Nope.

The open road. That's more my style.

Yep, just give me a pack on my back and point me where the wind blows.

In fact, you know what they call me back home?

You're gonna love this. The Lone Free Ranger.

-- Ooh! -- Isn't that great?

-- I knew it was possible. -- Oh, it's possible, all right.

-- I knew the answer would come. -- Amen!

We're all going to fly over that fence,

and Mr Rhodes is going to show us how, right?

That's---- What? Did you say "fly"?

-- You can teach us. -- No, I can't.

Listen. Shh. You hear that?

That's the open road calling my name, and I was born to answer that call.

He must have very good hearing.

OK, OK, where's the exit? Ah, this way.

Mr Rhodes, um, perhaps I didn't explain our situation properly.

We lay eggs day in and day out,

and when we can't lay any more, they kill us.

It's a cruel world, doll face. You might as well get used to it.

Which part of "they kill us" do you not understand?

I got my own set of problems to worry about.

Besides, this birdcage can't be that hard to bust out of.

In fact, watch me.

It's not so hard to get one chicken out of here or even two,

but this is about all of us.

All of you?

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Wait a minute. Let me get this straight.

You want to get every chicken in this place out of here at the SAME TIME?

-- Of course. -- You're certifiable!

You can't pull off a stunt like that. That's suicide.

Where there's a will, there's a way.

Couldn't agree more. I WILL be leaving that way.

-- But---- Please! -- # I'm the type of guy

# That likes to roam around I'm never in one---- #

So that's it. You're from the circus.

Shh!

You're on the run, aren't you?

You wanna keep it down?

I'm trying to lay low here.

I should turn you in right now.

-- You wouldn't. Would you? -- Give me one reason why I shouldn't.

Because I'm...cute?

Hey, hey, hey! What kind of crazy chick are you?

Do you know what'll happen if he finds me?

-- It's a cruel world. -- I just decided. I don't like you.

I just decided. I don't care. Now, show us how to fly.

-- With this wing? -- Teach us, then.

No!

He's valuable, you say?

-- Sure. -- Get the torch.

Now, you listen here, sister. I'm not going back to that life.

I'm a Lone Free Ranger. Emphasis on FREE!

And that's what we want. Freedom!

Fancy that. They're coming this way.

Oh, oh, no. No. They're on to me.

Teach us to fly and we'll hide you.

And if I don't?

Was your father by any chance a vulture?

Do we have a deal?

Time to make good on that deal, doll----

The name is Ginger.

-- Comfortable? -- Not really.

Maybe this will help.

Nice hideout.

Ouch. I had more room in my egg.

We've held up our end of the deal. Tomorrow you hold up yours.

-- What deal? -- The flying!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Don't worry.

I'll teach you everything I know.

Now, which bunk is mine?

Absolutely outrageous!

Asking a senior officer to share his quarters...

and with a noncommissioned Yank, no less.

-- Why, back in my day, I'd never---- -- Hey!

You weren't exactly MY first choice, either.

And scoot over. Your wing's on my side of the bunk.

Your side of the bunk?

The whole bunk is my side of the bunk!

Just---- What's that smell? Is that your breath?

It's absolutely outrageous.

So you wanna fly, huh?

Well, it ain't gonna be easy, and it ain't gonna happen overnight.

You see, flying takes three things.

Hard work, perseverance and----

-- Hard work. -- You said hard work twice!

That's because it takes twice as much work as perseverance.

Codswallop!

Now, the most important thing is we have to work as a team,

which means... you do everything I tell you.

Right! Let's rock and roll!

-- Oh! Oh, oh. -- Oh! Oh, oh.

Mrs Tweedy! The chickens are----

Pecking?

And left, two, three. And right, two, three.

And...stop right there. Oh, yeah, down.

Down. Yeah, make little circles. That's it. Faster.

Faster. Oh, yes. Perfect.

Oh, that's the spot.

I thought you were going to teach us how to fly.

That's what I'm doing.

Isn't there usually some flapping involved?

Hey, do I tell YOU how to lay eggs?

Relax. We're making progress.

Really? I can't help feeling we're going around in circles.

What the---- Hey! Cut it out! You're making me dizzy.

I think they're ready to fly now.

Good, because they certainly can't walk any more.

Up and at 'em, gals. Let's flap.

Watch, Fetcher.

Let's see if old Attila the Hen has come to her senses.

It's raining hen!

-- What's this caper, love? -- We're flying.

Obviously.

Flippin' hell. Look at this, Fetch.

They're gonna kill themselves.

-- Wanna watch? -- Yeah, all right.

-- Ooh! -- Ooh!

-- Ahh! -- Ahh!

Hey! Careful of those eggs!

Sunny--side up.

Now they're over easy!

Definitely scrambled.

Go! Go! Go!

Go, go, go, go! Go!

Poultry in motion!

Birds of a feather flop together.

Great work, ladies. Great work!

The pain you're feeling is a good thing. It's good.

Pain is your friend, OK? It's a positive thing.

Just keep the faith, uh---- What's your name? Agnes! You'll get there.

Ducky, I think you flew four feet today!

Right, four feet! From the roof to the ground.

It's all part of the process, ladies. Nothing to worry about!

Whoa!

That doesn't sound good. Ha, ha, ha.

OK, the ground's shaking. Are we worried?

Are we worried?

The circus. Quick. Hide me.

-- Hide me. -- Come on.

One isn't awarded a medal like this for flapping about like a lunatic.

Now, see here! This is an officer's quarters.

-- Quick. In here. -- Get out of here immediately, sir!

Give it a rest, Pops.

Out of here! I shall have you on a charge within the week.

Cheers, mate.

It's all in your head. It's all in your head.

It's all in your head.

Ooh!

What---- What---- What's all this, then?

This is our future, Mr Tweedy.

No more wasting time with petty egg collection and minuscule profits.

No more eggs? But we've always been egg farmers.

Me father and his father and all their fathers. They was always----

Poor! Worthless. Nothings.

But all that's about to change.

This will take Tweedy's farm out of the dark ages...

and into full--scale automated production.

Melisha Tweedy will be poor no longer.

Ooh!

I'll put it together, then, shall I?

This isn't good, Mac.

Whatever's in those boxes is for us, and I don't think it's softer hay.

Aye, hen. And I hate to be the voice of doom,

but I've been calculating, and I just don't think we're built for flying.

But I saw him. He flew in over that fence.

Aye, aye, I believe you, but if we could just see it for ourselves,

that may answer some questions.

You're right. I'm sorry.

We've been at this all week, and we're getting nowhere.

If his wing were better, he could---- Oh! I'll have a word with him.

Where is he?

They didn't give me this medal for being a Yank nanny.

A simple "I don't know" would suffice.

Beware of that one, young Ginger.

That Yank is not to be trusted.

That YANK is our ticket out of here.

And the pig says to the horse, "Hey, fella, why the long face?"

Oh, oh, look, look.

Oh. Cocktail!

Give over!

So, um, anyway----

Remember those flying tips tomorrow. They're very important.

Keep thinking those flighty thoughts.

Oh, yeah.

They're swell chicks. They really are.

Look at what Babs made me.

A beak warmer. Isn't that the cutest?

And that Bunty. She really packs a punch.

Is there a problem here?

-- Have we flown over that fence? -- Not quite.

Then there's a problem.

Good things come to those who wait, dollface.

Ginger!

-- OK, how long did it take you? -- To do what?

To learn how to fly.

Apples and oranges, baby doll. I'm gifted. They're not.

You can't compare the two, OK?

The point is, these things take time.

Which we are rapidly running out of.

We haven't even lifted off the ground. Why?

Trust. I went over my calculations,

and I figured the key element was trust.

I--I didn't get a word of that.

When birds like ducks and geese take off, what do they have? Trust!

I swear she ain't usin' real words.

-- She said we need more thrust. -- Oh, thrust.

Well, of course, we need thrust. Thrust and flying are like...this!

-- Would you excuse us? -- Aye.

Ah, the wing, the wing, the wing.

If we don't see some results by tomorrow, the deal is off.

No more hiding. They will find you, and it's back to the circus, flyboy!

You're the first chick I ever met with the shell still on.

Sleep tight, angel face. The Rock's on the case.

Ginger!

Whew!

Cock--a--doodle--doo! What, what.

Oh, it was a beaut, guv'nor.

A fine piece of work, if I do say so meself.

-- I say so meself, too. -- Wish I could have seen it.

We slipped into the farmer's room, all quiet like.

-- Like a fish. -- Yeah, and we----

"Like a fish"? You stupid Norbert.

Anyway, guv, here it is.

-- El merchandiso. -- That's Spanish.

What are these two crooks doing here?

-- So, you know each other? -- She don't think we're valuable.

Guys, you are without a doubt the sneakiest,

most light--fingered thieving parasites I've ever met.

-- Oh, don't, don't. Stop it. -- I've gone bright red.

So, uh, how about them eggs?

Eggs? Don't tell me you promised them----

Yep! Promised them every egg I lay this month.

And when can we expect the first instalment?

I'm brewing one up as we speak. I'll keep you posted.

Pleasure doing business with you, sir.

Sucker.

-- What? -- You've lied to them.

I didn't lie, dollface. I just...omitted certain truths.

I'll give them exactly what I promised.

-- Which is nothing. -- Which is what I'll give them.

And what will you give us?

Thrrrust!

You OK, sweetheart? Good, good.

Now this is just a little helper.

Something to get you going. It's a thrust exercise.

-- The tension's killing me. -- It's gonna kill her!

-- Release! -- Whoa!

Come on! Flap!

You can do it. Flap, flap, flap!

Yes, yes, yes!

Is that your first offence?

Oops.

Roll call! I haven't laid any eggs.

-- Hide me. -- Three days and not one.

-- Oh, no! -- Why didn't you tell us, Babs?

-- Hide me! -- We've been busy with the flying----

-- They're coming! -- Hide me!

Hide yourself!

Oh!

Double their food rations, Mr Tweedy.

I want them all as fat as this one.

Oh!

All of me life flashed before me eyes!

It was really borin'.

Chicken feed. My favourite!

Wait. Wait.

Ooh!

No. Wait!

Babs, please! Bunty! Stop it! Wait!

Stop!

Stop it!

Something is wrong here. Can't you see that?

Strange boxes arrive in the barn. Babs stops laying,

but she's not taken to the chop, and now they're giving us extra food.

Don't you see what's happening? They're fattening us up.

They're going to kill us all.

Whoa, whoa! Heavy alert.

-- She didn't mean that, gals. -- Do you mind?

Keep eating. Save some for me.

What are you doing? How dare you! Let go of me!

Listen! I've met some hard--boiled eggs in my day,

but I'd say you're about 20 minutes!

-- What's that supposed to mean? -- It means you got to lighten up.

Over in America, we have this rule.

If you want to motivate someone, don't mention death.

Funny. Over here, the rule is: always tell the truth.

That's been working like a real charm, hasn't it?

Here's some free advice. You want them to perform?

-- Tell them what they want to hear. -- You mean lie.

Here we go again. You know what your problem is?

You're...difficult.

Why? Because I'm honest? I care about what happens to them,

something I wouldn't expect a Lone Free Ranger to know anything about.

If this is the way you show it, I hope you never care about me!

-- I can assure you, I never will. -- Good!

Fine!

What's all this?

Well, here she is. Ask and you shall receive.

That's biblical.

That's real craftsmanship, is what it is. Solid as a rock.

Ooh!

It's supposed to do that.

-- It's perfect, guys. -- And how's that egg coming?

This is a double yolker.

I don't see what this has to do with----

You will.

We've been workin' too hard.

Time to kick back a bit, shake those tail feathers.

Look at him. Nellypodging around like a----

Oh, good heavens. What's happenin'?

That's called a beat, sister. Feel it pulsing through your body!

Oh, yes. Pulsing. Fancy that.

Hey, well, then go with it, baby.

Oh, my. Look! I'm going with it!

Bunty, what's got into you?

Same thing that's got into you apparently.

# Flip, flop, fly, I don't care if I die #

Just go with the flow, gal!

# Flip, flop, fly, I don't care if I die

# Don't ever leave me, don't ever say goodbye #

Now, see here. I don't recall authorising a hop.

Oh, shut up and dance.

Ooh! Oooh!

What are you sobbing about, you nancy?

Little moments like this, mate.

It's what makes the job all worthwhile.

Wanna dance?

Yeah, all right.

# Now, give me one more kiss, hold it a long, long time #

Huh?

# Give me one more kiss, hold it a long, long time

# Love me, baby, till the feelin' hits my head like wine

# So fine, so glad that you're mine

# Flip, flop, fly, I don't care if I die

# Flip, flop, fly, I don't care if I die

# Don't ever leave me, don't ever say goodbye

# Don't ever leave me, don't ever say goodbye

# Yeah, don't ever leave me, don't ever say goodbye, yeah #

Ooh!

Did ya see that? I flew!

Attagirl, Babsy. Attagirl.

-- Oh! Your wing. It's better. -- Well----

-- How about that? -- Fantastic.

You can fly for us tomorrow.

Uh, uh, yeah, so it seems.

I flew! I flew!

Looks like I owe you an apology.

I didn't think you cared about us, but after all this----

Well, it seems I was wrong.

Hey, easy, Miss Hard--boiled.

I might think you're turning soft.

Uh, listen, there's something I got to tell ya. I----

No. You'd better wait here.

Ooh, that's champion, that is. What is it?

It's a pie machine, you idiot.

Chickens go in, pies come out.

Ooh! What kind of pies?

-- Apple. -- My favourite!

Chicken pies, you great lummox! Imagine it.

In less than a fortnight, every grocers' in the county...

will be stocked with box upon box...

of Mrs Tweedy's Homemade Chicken Pies.

Just Missus?

Woman's touch. Makes the public feel more comfortable.

Oh, right. How does it work?

Get me a chicken and I'll show you.

I know just the one.

I've got a score to settle with you.

Bloomin' heck! They've got Ginger!

We mustn't panic. We mustn't panic!

Quiet there!

Quiet, I say! Let's have some discipline. What, what.

The enemy has taken a prisoner. This calls for retaliation.

Retaliation!

What's going on? What's happening?

They got Ginger, Mr Rhodes. They're taking her to the chops.

Well, what are you waiting for, laddie? Fly over there. Save her!

Of course---- No, no! No, that's just what they'd expect.

But I say we give them the old element of surprise.

And catch Jerry with his trousers down.

I like the sound of that. What's the plan?

The plan---- The plan.

The plan---- Uh, Babs!

Give me that thing. Bunty, give me a boost.

Whoa.

Look at the size of that thing.

Oh, no!

Chickens go in,

pies come out.

Chicken pies.

Not---- Not apple pies. Chicken.

Oh, great. Brilliant!

-- Yo, baby doll! -- Rocky!

-- I'm coming! -- Hurry!

-- I'm still coming! -- Come on!

-- Stop this thing! -- I'm gettin' there!

Oh, shoot!

Rocky!

I'll be down before you can say...

mixed vegetables!

Aaaah!

Aaah! Ohh!

Whoa--ohh--ohh--ohh!

Whoa--ohh--ohh!

D--oh! Get it? Dough!

-- I'm stuck! -- Nothing to it. Oops.

Ohh! Oh!

Hang on!

Look out!

Whoa!

Hey! Aha!

Yes!

Oh, it's like an oven in here.

Come on!

Wait up! I'm com----

Don't leave----

Get over to the----

The door! Come on!

She's gonna blow! Run!

What did you do, you great pudding?

I didn't do 'owt!

-- Turn it off! -- It won't turn off!

-- Ouch! -- We've got to show the others.

Look! I fixed it!

Huh?

- - Chicken pies? - - Ohh!

-- Yes, but---- -- I don't want to be a pie!

I don't like gravy.

Ladies, please. Let's not lose our heads.

Lose our heads?

What I meant was, Rocky sabotaged the machine and bought us time.

Ooh!

And better still, he's going to fly for us tomorrow.

And once we've seen how it's done, we'll get it!

So don't worry,

because tomorrow everything's going to go much, much smoother.

All right, Pops, what did I do now?

A very brave and honourable deed, sir.

In the light of your action this evening,

I dutifully admit that I have misjudged your character.

So I present you with this medal for bravery.

And...

I salute you.

In honour of the occasion,

I surrender the bunk entirely.

I shall sleep under the stars.

Oh, uh, I await tomorrow's flying demonstration...

with great anticipation.

You and me both, Pops.

-- Oh! -- I'm sorry. Were you----

-- Is this your---- I'll go. -- No, it's just----

-- Since you're here---- -- I'm glad you're here, because----

-- I'm sorry. You go first. -- You go ahead. I'll----

Um, I just wanted to say...

I may have been a bit harsh at first.

Well, what I really mean is,

thank you...

for saving my life.

For saving OUR lives.

You know,

I come up here every night... and look out to that hill

and imagine what it must be like on the other side.

It's funny, I've----

I've never actually felt grass beneath my feet.

I'm sorry.

Here I am rambling on about hills and grass, and you had something to say.

Uh, y--y--yeah.

Um, it's just that, y--you know,

life, as I've experienced it, you know, out there,

lone free rangin' and stuff, it's, uh,

it's full of disappointments, and, uh----

What, you mean grass isn't all it's cracked up to be?

Grass! Exactly. Grass.

It's always greener on the other side.

And then you get there and it's brown and prickly.

You see what I'm tryin' to say?

What I'm trying to say is...

you're welcome.

You know,

that hill is looking closer tonight than it ever has before.

Oh!

Well, good night...Rocky.

Good night...Ginger.

Company, attention!

Today's the day, girls. We're going to fly!

I can feel it!

Finally, we get to see a real professional in action.

Better start warming up. I'll go and get him.

Rocky. Knock--knock. Everyone's waiting, so I told them to----

R--Rocky?

Oh, a cannon.

Aye, that would give you thrust.

I knew he was fake all along.

In fact, I'm not even certain he was American.

So, what's the next plan, hen?

Let's face it.

The only way out of here is wrapped in pastry.

Perhaps he just went on holiday.

Perhaps he just went to get away from your infernal knitting!

Ohh! Ohh!

You were always hitting him. See how YOU like it!

Don't push me, four--eyes!

Quiet there! Quiet, I say!

Dissension in the ranks. Precisely what Jerry would have wanted.

The old divide and conquer.

A proper squadron work together, like we did in my RAF days.

Jocko at the stick, Flappy at the map...

and old Whizzbang at the tail--end Charlie.

Wing Co would give the call, hop in the old crate, chocks away!

Wizard show it was. That's how you get medals.

Will you shut up about your stupid blooming medals!

Ooh!

Ohh!

How dare you!

Madam, forgive me. A--As an officer, I offer my most----

Fowler?

Everyone, shut up!

Eh?

Fowler.

What exactly is the RAF?

What do you mean, what is it?

The Royal Air Force is what.

Then what's the "old crate"?

Ahh! There she is.

Gorgeous, isn't she?

You mean, you flew in one of these?

Beautifully built. In fact, there's a bit of a story to that.

We were out on a "recce," you see.

Ops had given the go--ahead, but the weather duffed up...

Yes. Of course.

We might actually be able to pull this off.

-- We're STILL going to fly! -- What, what?

Fowler's provided the answer.

I have?

Uh, yes, yes, yes. Of course I have.

Uh, how have I?

We'll make...

a crate.

Mac, you'll handle the engineering.

Babs, manufacturing.

Fowler will be chief aviation advisor.

Bunty, eggs.

-- Eggs? -- Eggs.

Right, just like the ones that rooster was gonna lay.

Only roosters don't lay eggs, do they?

-- Don't they? -- No, it's a lady thing, apparently.

Ask your mum.

One egg for every item on the list. First payment in advance.

Right! When do we start?

Come on!

-- oi. -- Oh!

Huh?

What the dickens?

Oh, gnomes now.

Voilà!

Give me.

Hmm?

Aah!

Ohh!

Eggs from heaven!

No! From her bum!

Mmm?

-- Idiot! -- That was close.

Too close.

We can't stop now. Come on, everyone! Go for it!

Really go for it! Go, go, go, go!

Mac, we need those calculations quickly.

Agnes, that has to be really secure.

-- Careful up there, Fowler! -- Roger!

Bunty, give him a hand.

Well done, Babs. Keep it up.

No problem, dollface.

# Oh, I'm the type of guy

# That likes to roam around

# I'm never in one place

# I roam from town to town

# And when I found myself fallin' for some girl

# I'd hop right in that car---- #

# And travel 'round the world

# 'Cause I'm a wanderer

# Yeah, a wanderer

# I roam around and 'round, around and 'round... #

Oh, boy.

Come on.

Please.

Oh, no. He's fixed it.

Get the chickens.

Which ones?

All of them.

Me tools!

Why, you thieving little buggers!

What's the plan?

-- Attack! -- Huh?

Nice plan.

Mrs Tweedy!

Aaaah! Mrs Tweedy!

The chickens are revolting!

Finally something we agree on.

Help! Mrs----

Mmm---- Mmm?

Under the hut.

-- What have we done? -- This is it, everyone.

We're escaping.

-- What, now? -- Now!

-- But, Ginger, she's not ready. -- Listen.

We'll either die free chickens or die trying.

Are those the only choices?

-- Let's do it! -- Scramble!

This way!

Mrs Tweedy!

The exits are located here and here.

In the quite likely event of an emergency,

put your head between your knees and----

Kiss your bum goodbye.

All right, Fowler, ready for takeoff.

Behind you all the way.

But you're supposed to be up there.

You're the pilot.

Oh, don't be ridiculous. I can't fly this contraption.

Back in your day---- The Royal Air Force----

6--4--4 Squadron, poultry division.

We were the mascots.

You mean you never actually flew the plane?

Good heavens, no!

I'm a chicken!

The Royal Air Force doesn't let chickens behind the controls

of a complex aircraft!

We're all gonna die!

Fowler, you have to fly it.

You're always talking about back in your day. Well, today is your day.

You can do it, you old sausage.

Wing Commander TI Fowler...

reporting for duty.

Well, come on. What are you waiting for?

We haven't got all day. Let's get this crate off the ground.

Fowler! Now!

Roger! Contact!

Cleared for takeoff!

Chocks away!

Chocks away!

Whoa!

-- Full throttle! -- Full throttle!

We need more power!

I cannot work miracles, Cap'n! We're givin' her all she's got.

-- Gotcha! -- Hard right!

Oh, mother!

Turn her around. I'll get the ramp.

Aaah!

Put the ramp down.

You are going to be a pie!

Ginger!

Rocky!

Heads up!

< -- Look out!

-- Aah! -- Clear the runway!

Ginger! Let's go!

We're flying!

-- Aah! -- That's for leaving.

Eew.

And this is for coming back.

-- Whoa! -- Uhh!

Great Scott! What was that?

A cling--on, Cap'n, and the engines can't take it!

Oh, goodness.

Babs! Scissors!

Bingo.

Lower me down.

-- But, Ginger, I---- -- Just do it.

Increase velocity!

-- What does that mean? -- Pedal your flippin' giblets out!

-- Lower! -- I'm trying!

-- Aah! -- Aaah!

Fowler, look out!

-- Whoa! -- Oh! Ginger!

Fire! Fire!

Me eggs.

No!

Blea--aah!

More ammo! Hurry!

-- We got no more eggs! -- Ginger! Look out!

No!

-- Huh? -- Bye--bye.

-- Aaah! -- Bombs away!

Mr Tweedy!

Oh, that was good. That was good!

The old bird bought it!

Mrs Tweedy! Mrs Twee----

Whoa!

I told you they was organised.

We did it, everyone!

Ha, ha, ha, ha----

Aww!

Keep pedaling! We're not there yet!

You can't see paradise if you don't pedal!

Put your drumsticks into it!

That's what I told him. What, what.

We were losing altitude, you see, and heading for a fearful prang.

This is a lovely holiday.

I'll be sad to go back.

Safety at all times is imperative.

Now, wind 'er up and...

-- Whee! -- Let 'er go!

So...is it as good as you imagined?

No.

It's better.

Come on. I'll show you how to play cricket.

'Ey, 'ey, here's a thought.

Why don't we get an egg and start our own chicken farm?

That way we'll have all the eggs we could eat.

Right. We'll need a chicken, then.

No. No, we'll need an egg.

You have the egg first. That's where you get the chicken from.

No, that's cobblers. Without a chicken, where you gonna get an egg?

From the chicken that comes from the egg.

But you have to have an egg to have a chicken.

But you gotta get the chicken first to get the egg,

and then the egg to get the chicken out of.

Hang on. Let's go over this again.

# Yeow!

# All right

# Oh, yeah

# When I get the blues, gon' get me a rockin' chair

# When I get the blues, gon' get me a rockin' chair

# When the blues overtake me

# Gonna rock on away from here, ohh

# Here comes my baby, flashin' a new gold tooth

# Here comes my baby, flashin' a new gold tooth

# Yeah, she's so small

# She can rumba in a payphone booth

# That's the truth, ha--ha!

# Flip, flop, fly

# I don't care if I die

# Flip, flop, fly

# I don't care if I die

# Don't ever leave me, don't ever say goodbye

# Yeow!

# Now, give me one more kiss

# And hold it a long, long time

# Give me one more kiss

# And hold it a long, long time

# Love me, baby, till the feelin' hits my head like wine

# So fine, so glad that you're mine

# Flip, flop, fly

# I don't care if I die

# Flip, flop, fly

# I don't care if I die

# Don't ever leave me, don't ever say goodbye

# Don't ever leave me, don't ever say goodbye

# Bye--bye, bye--bye

# Don't ever leave me, don't ever say goodbye

# Yeah!

# Bye--bye! #

The egg, obviously.

Rollin' along, 'appy as Larry.

Then, crack! Hatches into the first chicken.

Yeah, but where'd the egg come from, then?

What do you mean?

Egg comes rollin' along, 'appy as Larry.

It's wonderin' where'd it come from?

Without a chicken, you get no egg to come rollin' along.

Well, conversely, without an egg to hatch into the chicken,

there will be no chicken to lay the other egg

that hatches into the chicken that lays the egg I mentioned first.

-- We got two eggs now? -- no.

We're still talking about the very first egg.

-- What about the very first chicken? -- He's in the very first egg!

- - Aren't you listenin'? - - Uh, guys. Guys?

Tryin' to enjoy paradise over here.

-- Oh, sorry, guv. -- Beg your pardon.

- - Won't happen again. - - Thanks.

-- Gitface. -- Pillock.

Thinks he's such a big shot 'cause he's got his name on a poster.

These show biz folk are all the same.

-- The rats are the stars. -- Yeah, of course they are.

We do all the 'ard work, he gets all the credit.

-- He gets everything. -- Yes, he does. Everything.

-- You said it, mate. -- I know.