Original subtitles

( Instrumental theme playing)

♪ Thanks for the memory ♪

♪ Of candlelight and wine ♪

♪ Castles on the Rhine ♪

♪ Lovely it was ♪

( Whistling tune )

( Humming tune )

( Water splashing )

How're you doing, Steve?

Pretty good for a guy with a marcel on his nose.

I love you, dear, marcel and all.

Yeah, and I love you, honey.

Even at the risk of cutting my own throat.

Darling, do you realize

we've been married three months today?

Yeah. Who says marriages don't last?

( Chuckles ) Ouch. There it is. I got it.

Why don't you use a new blade?

No, sir, I'm stubborn.

This blade was good enough for my father,

and it's good enough for me.

Oh, uh, come to think of it,

I had a new blade here yesterday.

Well, if it's gone, I'll bet Skinny Kincaid took it.

What would Skinny Kincaid be doing with my blade?

He shaved here yesterday.

- Oh, he shaved here yesterday? - Uh-huh.

( Chuckles ) Good old Skinny. I bet he was pie-eyed.

Isn't he always?

Still, I don't think Skinny would walk off with my blade.

Oh, of course not.

Skinny drinks our liquor, sponges our food,

walks off with our cigarettes and matches,

but I'm sure he wouldn't stoop to blades.

Was he alone?

No. He was with an appraiser.

- An appraiser? - Uh-huh.

What would he want with an appraiser up here?

He was trying to borrow some money on our furniture.

Crazy guy.

Pretty soon he'll be squawking because my suits don't fit him.

You know, Anne, between you and me,

that mob is getting slightly on my nerves.

They're here day and night enjoying

the good old Merrick hospitality.

Why there are so many of them practically living here

with us now, it looks like a federal housing project.

- ( Telephone ringing) - Is that the phone?

Sounds like it. Hurry up, will you, darling?

First thing you know, some of our pals

will be drifting in, and then we'll never get away.

Yeah.

Wish I had the hat-checking concession in this place.

Hello?

No, I'm sorry to say I don't.

No, not tonight. We're going out.

- Who was that? - Bert Monroe.

Bert Monroe? Who's he?

Don't ask me.

How on earth do we happen to know so many funny people?

Now don't lay it on me.

They wouldn't come here the way they do

if you weren't so blamed charming.

Ah.

( Telephone ringing)

- Let me answer this one. - Thanks, dear.

( Spanish accent ) Hello?

No, Mr. Merrick, he not home now.

No, Mr. Merrick, he out dancing.

Yeah. He do flat-foot floo-jeep on the floor-floor.

No, no, flat-foot floo-jeep on the floor-floor.

Oh, no. Could not do that.

No. No. Not with the floor-floor.

Yeah. You go, too. Yeah. Yeah.

Just another jitterbug looking for a home.

Gee, you look pretty.

Do I, Steve?

Listen, Anne, when I think of any other woman...

What I mean to say is I don't.

90 days married and still dealing out romance.

Nin... 90 days? Gee. It seems longer than that.

Oh, it does?

Sure, you know when you're happy and contented,

why, you just forget all about time.

Say, I'm so contented now, if I was a cow,

all I'd give would be cream.

( Knock on door)

Oh, now, who's that?

Let him knock again.

( Knock on door)

The landlord.

Let's surprise him and open the door.

The only thing he'll get here today is practice.

Both: Oh! How do you do, Mr. Flanahan?

How do you do, Mr. and Mrs. Merrick?

My, what a small world. Imagine meeting you at our door.

Well, folks, I was just passing, and I said to myself,

"Well, why not drop in and see the Merricks?"

Well, we're glad you did, Mr. Flanahan.

It saves us going out.

Yes. It saves us going out.

You know, I'll bet you came up about the rent.

Yes, sir, if at first you don't succeed,

try, try again.

Won't you come in, Mr. Flanahan?

- Yes, do come in. We'll talk about it. - Wait a minute.

I don't wanna hear any more fairytales.

I saw "Snow White," and I'm very happy.

I'd like to have my money.

Oh, yeah, well, that's what we wanna talk

to you about, Mr. Flanahan, about the money.

There was a little trouble about my last check clearing

and we'd like to have you play ball with us

for a couple of more days.

Listen, I've been playing ball with you so long,

I got a charley horse in my right arm.

Oh, I know, but after all,

money isn't everything, Mr. Flanahan.

You know, that's what I like about you.

You're so darn nice about everything.

You know, truthfully, you oughta relax a little more.

Take things easy.

You know the old saying, "All work and no Jack

"makes hay while the..." or it's,

"All hay and no Jack with..." what is that thing, Anne?

I've got it. "All work and no play

keeps the doctor away."

All: That's it! ( Laughs )

He thought I was...

( coughs )

(knock on door)

Oh, the door. Yeah.

I'll get the door.

Package for Mr. Merrick.

Oh, thanks. Uh, pair of shoes I bought.

Hey, wait a minute. That's collect!

Well, you don't have to get nasty about it.

$5.35.

$5.35.

There ought to be a home for boys like you.

Uh, $5.35, honey.

Hey, I want my money.

Are you any relation to him?

$5.35.

Have you change for a $20, Mr. Flanahan?

Any way at all will do. Just break...

Well, that ten will be fine. That's charming.

Thank you. Here's ten, son.

- Yes, sir, here's your change. - And here's a dollar for you.

- Oh, thank you! - What's money?

( Chuckles )

Just add that onto the rent, Mr. Flanahan.

Now, where were we?

It was, "All work and no Jack... ".

Say, I gave you $10.

Oh, I know you did. And I'll fix that for you.

You just lend me your pen

and I'll make it out for you right now.

Now, how do you spell your name, Mr. Flanahan?

Flanahan. F-L-A-N-A-H-A-N.

Oh, just plain like that, eh? I see.

That's F-L-A-N-A-H-A-N.

Now, that's 40 for the rent and ten.

That's 50. Is that right?

- That's right. - $50. Yes. I see.

"I owe you $50."

You know, I could give you a check,

but you couldn't put it through for a couple of years,

so this is probably much better.

Here you are, Mr. Flanahan.

This just proves that one should never worry about a thing.

Everything comes out all right in the end.

Wait a minute.

I got enough of these things to start a fire.

Yeah, why didn't you think of that last winter

when we didn't have enough heat in this place?

Goodbye, Mr. Flanahan. Happy times.

You know, that Flanahan is sure a nice guy.

Say, and a nice pen.

I ought to get at least a dollar on it.

Hurry up, darling, will you? We'll be late.

Don't you think it's about time you tell me where we're dining?

Can't I surprise you once in a while?

Honey, there isn't a day that passes

that you don't surprise me.

Now, come clean.

Well, you've heard me speak of Gil Morrell.

Gil Morrell?

Oh, isn't he the guy that used to go for you?

What do you mean, "used to"?

Oh, go on.

Well, I ran into him last week.

Oh, I suppose he just happened to be passing.

Hold this for me, darling.

Yeah.

Uh, what about this Gil Morrell?

I told him about your novel.

Well, you had your nerve.

More than that. I gave it to him to read.

Well, I've only finished ten chapters.

So he said, "Bring the poor sap to dinner,

and we'll talk about it."

Well, aren't you pleased?

Pleased? I'm tickled pink.

Oh, Steve, won't it be wonderful to be rich?

Yeah, then we can walk by the finance company again

without trying to look nonchalant.

And you can give up your pint-sized job

and we'll move out of this place.

Anne, what's the matter with it? I like it here.

Oh, so do I, but...

Oh, let me handle it. I'm a wizard at this stuff.

I'll take...

I handle these... I'm a wiz, I...

I can...

Do you get an oil can with these things?

- ( Telephone ringing) - There it is.

Now I wonder who that is.

I don't know, but whoever it is, we're out.

I'll say.

( Spanish accent ) Hello. Mr. Merrick, he not...

What?

Mr. and Mrs. Flint are on their way up.

I told them you wasn't in,

but they don't seem to have no confidence in me.

Oh.

Thanks. Yeah.

Anne. Oh, Anne.

Who was it?

The Flints. And they're coming up.

They may be coming up, but they'll never come in.

Now, get your coat and follow me.

You know, the last time they dropped in for a cocktail,

they stayed till breakfast.

Hurry up, Steve.

- ( Door buzzer buzzes ) - There they are.

They can ring till the cows come home.

- We're going down the fire escape. - Let's go.

- Lights. - Oh, the lights.

( Buzzing continues)

Well, happy landing.

- Be careful. - Nice knowing you.

Catch it, darling.

I got it.

( Car horns blaring in distance )

- All right. - Okay.

You all right?

Hey! Taxi!

Where to, buddy?

34 Washington Square.

Why, that's only a few blocks from here.

Why don't you walk it?

Fallen arches. You don't mind, do you?

No. But I hate to see any guy throw money away.

Even if he's got it.

That's the trouble of the whole world today.

Too few people have any economic balance.

Would you like to mind your own business?

I wasn't talking to you, buddy. I... I was thinking out loud.

We'll travel for a year, huh?

London, Paris.

The Riviera.

Monte Carlo.

Monte...

We'll take a little house there.

I'll settle down to another novel.

I'll raise a family.

Well, you can't raise much of a family in a year.

You can start one, can't you?

Are you working on a novel?

You heard me.

I just finished one.

You don't tell me! Who's gonna publish it?

Well, International wants it,

but I don't think they're the right people to handle it.

- I'm consid... - (honk honks)

Get out of the way, you lug.

I'm considering giving it to Consolidated.

Here we are.

Well, goodbye, my literary friend.

The next time we meet,

I hope we'll both be famous novelists.

And if you want me to put a good word in for you

at Consolidated, just let me know.

- Oh, thanks, I'll need you. - Yes.

Look at those books.

Funny he hasn't said anything about mine.

I don't see anything funny about it, dear.

A man doesn't ask people to dinner

and then talk nothing but shop.

As soon as he gets through telephoning

I wish you'd introduce the subject.

I will.

I'm so sorry.

Shall we go out and have our coffee?

Oh, fine. I'd love to.

By the way, I don't think I congratulated you.

- Oh, you mean my novel? - No, I mean your wife.

A lot of fellas can write,

but few men can get a girl like Anne.

I ought to know. She almost married me.

Yeah, I know, Anne and I have laughed

about that lots of times.

Gil, it's charming.

You like it?

It's not a bit like New York.

That's why I took it.

I can sit out here and imagine I'm in the country.

Saves me having to commute. Sit down.

- Thank you. - Steve?

Well, Gil, what do you think?

I think it shows unusual promise.

I was sure you'd like it.

The characters are alive and fresh.

Dialogue fairly crackles. However...

Will you have a cigarette, Anne?

Oh, thank you.

- Steve? - Thanks.

- You were saying? - Oh, yes.

Some of the chapters are grand, but, um...

Out with it, old man, I can take it.

( Chuckles ) Well, after all, I've only seen 10 chapters.

I have a feeling, Steve, that you haven't thought it out.

A novel isn't just a loose collection of chapters,

no matter how good they are.

It should be as carefully planned as a house,

a house that's gonna be occupied

by a lot of interesting people.

Well, I see what you mean, Gil,

but can you put your finger on just what's wrong with it?

Yes.

Your story shows great promise up to chapter nine.

Then it sinks.

It what?

It sinks.

Oh! You had me a little nervous there for a minute.

( All chuckle )

When I read a book, I want to know first of all

what the author's purpose is.

Well, I hate novels with a purpose.

I almost agree with you.

Still, if an author hasn't something to say,

why bother to write?

Gil's right, Steve.

How do you work, Steve?

I have a feeling that you wrote most of those chapters

while running for the subway.

Well, I write nights and Sundays.

That is...

Lots of friends, I suppose.

Oh, the line forms on the left.

I've always tried to sell my authors the idea

that writing isn't only an art, it's a business.

What's your job like?

Oh, just a job.

- Why don't you give it up? - Give it up?

If I had your talent, I'd get somebody to stake me,

anybody, and go to it.

Anyhow, I think we better be going, Anne.

- What, so soon? - Well, it's after 11:00.

Well, if it's that late, we must.

I'm afraid I made myself an awful nuisance.

Oh, no, you've been swell.

Well, let me know how it goes.

I'll be very much interested.

Thanks, Gil, for a beautiful evening.

Good night.

Thanks for everything.

Thank you.

Will you get me a taxi?

Steve, we're not going to ride home.

We're not going home. We're going for a spin.

Uh, do you write novels?

Not me. I work for a living.

Drive us through the park.

Steve, you're not discouraged, are you?

What about?

He said I could write, didn't he?

All on earth you need is an opportunity.

And I'm gonna make it, see? From now on no more parties.

No more people dropping in for cocktails.

As soon as we stop serving gin,

we won't have a friend in the world.

I'm gonna shut myself up in a shell

and think novel, eat novel, and drink novel.

Oh, Steve, you're wonderful.

Simply wonderful.

I know it.

Is this the place? I think so.

Say, who do you think you are, Paul Revere?

Sure. The redcoats are coming! The redcoats are coming!

Shut up, you durn fool. Do you wanna get us pinched?

Biney, I haven't enough money to bail us out.

Don't worry.

Whatever it is, I don't think we want any.

Uh, Mr. Merrick's apartment, please.

- You can't go up. - Why not?

'Cause he ain't at home. And this time, he really ain't.

Say, now don't be absurd.

He just telephoned me from his sick bed.

I'm Dr. Axoplanard.

Dr. Axo... oh.

Well, what about the young lady here?

My nurse.

Well, right this way.

Thank you.

Say, I remember you now.

Last time you got me up in the middle of the night,

you told me you was a lawyer.

Oh, I gave up the law. There's no future in it.

That's what I told my brother.

But they still got him locked up.

Oh, here's a pass to one of my theaters, made out for two.

You can take your sweetheart.

Oh, but I got a wife.

She don't need to know.

You don't know my wife.

You know, you've got your nerve

breaking into a strange apartment.

What do you mean strange?

I'll bet anything you don't even know these people.

I'll bet anything I know where they keep their gin.

Well, I've got to write my review.

There's a typewriter. Help yourself.

Can I use the telephone?

Help yourself. The place is yours.

Thanks.

( Dialing rotary)

No answer, darn it.

( Liquid pouring )

Say, I don't like to use this machine

with somebody else's work in it.

Take it out.

I know, but these people may be fussy.

Oh, go ahead, take it out.

Here.

Why don't you tear it up and be done with it?

Oh, it's not mine.

There you are.

Now, I'll dictate your review for you. Ready?

Shoot.

( Hiccups )

Hello. How've you been?

( Slurring ) Okay.

Anybody home?

Not yet. The liquor's in there.

In there.

Who is that man?

Search me.

Say, what kind of people are these Merricks?

They're grand, and don't let anybody tell you different.

What does he do?

Oh, he's got a job with electrical appliances.

What does she do?

She was a model before she married Steve.

You mean to say she lets her husband support her?

Well, she was gonna keep right on working,

but Steve wouldn't have it.

( Telephone dialing)

( Wheezes )

That you, Kelly?

Six bottles of gin, the Merrick apartment.

Emergency call.

Say, who's going to pay for those six bottles?

I don't know. It's not my party.

What'll I do with this?

You ever try swallowing 'em?

Biney!

Oh, I knew a fellow once, made his living

swallowing lighted cigarettes.

He said it toned up his digestion.

He finally blew up.

Man: Steve!

Well, George Trent, you old sinner, how are you?

I can't complain. Why, Anne.

- Hello, George. - Come on up.

Well, just a minute. Come along, Sugar.

Sugar?

Some lump.

Anne and Steve, this is Mrs. Trent.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

George's mother. Well, well.

I happen to be George's wife.

Oh! Well, those things happen.

I mean, I thought you looked very young to be...

That's right, you didn't know. My mistake, I'm sorry.

I should think he would be.

Mercy, who's the dame in the ermine

with the flock of orchids?

That's Mrs. George. He married the Stickle million.

My, she must have had a lot of fun

knitting socks for the soldiers...

in the Civil War.

Some of the best wine comes out of old bottles, Polly.

Won't you come up, Mrs. Trent?

No, I'm afraid it's rather late for that.

Oh, nonsense, Anne, you take George and Mrs. Trent upstairs,

and I'll run over to Tony's and get some sandwiches.

Fine, dear. Come with me, Mrs. Trent.

Oh, Sugar, please.

Well, for a very few minutes.

Biney, darling!

How are you, baby?

Oh, so good to see you again.

Hello. I'm Polly Griscom.

Oh, Biney's talked a lot about you.

Don't believe him. It's not true.

- I won't. - Man: Oh!

One of those exclusive places, eh?

( Whispers ) Who's that?

Hello.

Hello.

The liquor's right in there.

Well, thanks.

- Biney: George! - Biney!

Gee, I'm glad to see you again, Biney.

Glad to see you, George.

Say, I hear you married somebody filthy with money.

Well, yes, I... shh!

Hello, George, haven't seen you for ages.

- Give us a little kiss. - Swell to see you again, Polly.

Oh, gee.

Well, George.

Yes, Sugar?

Oh, won't you come in, Mrs. Trent?

Really, George,

I think you might have waited for me.

I had to climb that last flight alone.

I don't see how you ever made it.

George has been a bachelor so long, he's apt to forget

those little niceties that mean so much to a woman.

But I expect to change all that.

Yes, I can see a change already.

George, you might introduce me to your friends.

Yes, Sugar. This is Polly.

George and I are old pals, missus...

So I've noticed.

And this is Biney.

Well, what about a little drink, George?

We are not drinking, thank you.

What? George not drinking?

We're not drinking.

We are.

I wish that egg would get off the phone.

I will, but give me long distance.

And now he wants long distance.

And now he wan...

I want long distance.

I want to talk to a girl in Dayton.

( laughs )

Wait right here, George. I may need you any minute.

Yes, Sugar.

- Hello. - Sue?

I want Sue.

What are you made up for?

I'm just holding these for Sugar.

Well, George, how does it feel to be a kept man?

- Shh! - Shh!

What's the matter?

- My keeper's in there. - Oh, I'm sorry.

It's all right. She's heard the rumor before.

Sugar: George?

Yes, Sugar?

I want you.

She wants me.

How much did you say she was worth?

- 16 million. - It's not enough.

Well, how are you, beautiful?

Hello, angel.

You know, I wouldn't trade you for 16 times 16 million.

You wouldn't, huh?

Excuse me.

Say, what are we going to do with that guy?

Just ignore him. What about some food?

Yes. I can't find a thing in the icebox.

Sandwiches.

( All chattering )

( Chattering continues )

Biney! How about that show of yours?

- Didn't you open it tonight? - Yes, and very good.

- Say, do you think it'll run? - Oh, just a short day.

I hear it's so bad, the actors hiss the audience for coming.

Polly: Yes, they're going to close next week

and recast the backers.

Oh!

( Sugar screaming )

A face! A face! ( Screaming )

( All clamoring )

I distinctly saw a face peering at me.

You just imagined it, Sugar.

I never use my imagination.

( Knock on door)

- Oh, it's terrible. - Oh, hello.

It's terrible. I'm in such trouble.

I wonder if one of you boys could help me out.

She's in trouble, and she wants a boy.

- It's a bat. - What's a bat?

That awful thing that flew in my window.

I'm such a baby.

If it got in my hair, I'd just die.

You'd just die?

I'd just naturally die.

Well, no woman dies while there's life in my body.

Get your gun, Steve.

Get your things, George. We're going.

I feel just terrible rushing in here like this

without being introduced.

My name is Luella Mae Carroll.

My name is Jefferson Davis Faniere.

Are you any kin to the Fanieres in Richmond?

- No, just related. - Oh.

- Come along, George. - Oh, so soon, Mrs. Trent?

Oh, don't hurry off, folks.

I do wish you all would come in.

I'm so used to a great, big house full of people.

Thank you so much. Good night. Good night.

- Good night. Good night. - Say, look, Steve,

Sugar's giving a yachting party over the weekend.

Why don't you and Anne join us in the morning?

Oh, swell, George.

Well, Sugar would love having you, wouldn't you, Sugar?

( Stammers ) Yes, of course.

Say, how about inviting me and Polly?

- We love yachts. - Surest thing you know.

Come along, George.

Say, look, Sugar, it's early now.

Couldn't we...

Now, it's been a delightful evening,

but now we are going.

Good night, Mrs. Merrick.

Good night, Mrs. Trent.

Shame you can't stay for the bat hunt.

I'll be with you on the second hunt.

- Good night, Polly. - Good night, George.

- So long, Anne. - Good night, Georgie.

Now, where is that old bat?

George!

Oh, there you are.

Well, good night, all.

Why don't you slide down the banister, Sugar?

Uh, now where's your room?

Right around here a piece.

- A piece? - I told you.

I think it's all too wonderful

having you all drop in like this.

I wish somebody would pinch me to see if I'm awake.

Well, pinch her, Biney. You're single.

You can afford to take the rap.

( Giggles )

Oh, my goodness!

What is it now?

I left my nightgown hanging over one of the chairs.

Well, no wonder.

No wonder what?

No wonder you have bats.

There's nothing draws bats like a nightgown.

Oh?

- Are you ready, Biney? - Sure enough.

Well, let's save the colonel's daughter.

( Both grunting gibberish )

I'll bet you Yankee boys are a mess of fun at a party.

Now where's the bat?

Well, if you were a bat, where would you hide?

Well, I... You're thinking of a horse.

- Here bat, here bat. - Come, come, come, come.

My family just can't understand

why I left our old plantation to come up north.

But I just love New York.

Of course, I don't always feel so safe here.

I don't see why.

I used to be awful lonely, but I don't anymore

since I got to know you all.

There's nothing like old friends, is there?

Ain't it the truth?

That's not it.

I can't find a bat anywhere.

Oh, much obliged anyhow.

You just about saved my life.

Oh, that's nothing.

Okay, Biney. Treasure hunt's over.

- Well... - My folks just sent me some Virginia ham,

and I'm fixing to whip up some meat and biscuits.

Won't you all stay and have some?

Well, not tonight, Miss, uh...

Please call me Luella Mae.

We'll all call you Luella Mae.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Good night. - Good night.

Good night.

You'd better look out, Steve.

That Southern bloodhound is after you.

Don't worry, dear. I'm anemic.

Hey, what about opening up another can of sardines?

You will open up no more cans tonight.

I've got to go to the office, and you're going with me.

Sugar says no.

Good night, Mrs. Merrick. Good night, Steve.

Good night.

- It was a grand party. - Thank you.

- Good night, Steve. - I'll take this, Biney.

Wasn't that a swell party?

I don't know. Was it?

- Cigarette? - Mm-hmm.

Thank you, darling.

Thank you.

♪ Two sleepy people by dawn's early light ♪

♪ And too much in love to say good night ♪

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Out of cigarettes ♪

♪ Holding hands and yawning ♪

♪ Look how late it gets ♪

♪ Two sleepy people ♪

♪ With nothing to say ♪

♪ And too much in love to break away ♪

♪ Do you remember ♪

♪ The nights we had to linger in the hall? ♪

( laughs ) Yeah.

Father didn't like you at all.

Whatever happened to him?

♪ Remember the reason why we married in the fall? ♪

♪ To rent this little nest ♪

♪ And get a bit of rest ♪

♪ But here we are ♪

♪ Just about the same ♪

♪ Foggy little fella ♪

♪ Drowsy little dame ♪

♪ Two sleepy people ♪

♪ By dawn's early light ♪

♪ Too much in love to say good night ♪

Here we are.

Gee, don't we look a mess?

♪ Lipstick on my collar ♪

Whose?

♪ Wrinkles in your dress ♪

♪ Two sleepy people ♪

♪ Who know very well ♪

♪ They're too much in love to break the spell ♪

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Crazy in the head ♪

- Gee, your eyes are gorgeous. - Yeah?

Even when they're red.

( Bottles crash )

Is that the milkman?

No, that's dawn breaking.

- Oh! - Oh!

I'm sorry.

♪ Do you remember the nights we used to cuddle in the car? ♪

♪ Watching every last fading star ♪

♪ Remember the doctor said your health was under par ♪

♪ And you, my little schnooks ♪

♪ Were ruining your looks ♪

Well, here we are.

♪ Keeping up the pace ♪

♪ Letting each tomorrow slap us in the face ♪

♪ Two sleepy people ♪

♪ By dawn's early light ♪

♪ And too much in love ♪

♪ To say. ♪

I'm a lucky guy, you know.

How come?

You know, as we sat there at dinner tonight,

I kept asking myself how it happened.

You know, you could have married Gil if you wanted to.

A guy who could give you anything,

a guy who has gotten somewhere.

Instead you picked a dark horse like me.

I've got a strong hunch that dark horse

is going to win the race.

He sure got himself a good jockey.

( Man wheezes)

Bet two bucks on that horse for me.

Good night. ( Hiccups )

Shh.

Steve, breakfast is ready.

I'll be right there, dear.

Good morning, Mrs. M.

How'd you sleep, darling?

I dreamed I was in Luella's room all night chasing bats.

Well, don't start walking in your sleep.

Say, I must remember to call up George

about that yachting party.

- I don't think we ought to go. - Why not?

I haven't anything to wear on a yacht.

All right, honey, just grab your little yellow basket

and go out and buy a couple of things.

I can't do that, Steve. Our budget won't stand it.

Oh, Anne, forget about the budget.

George is one of our closest friends,

and we can't let him down.

How much work do you expect to get done on a yacht?

Sweetheart, we gotta have a little fun now and then.

All right, you have your fun.

But you can have it without me.

You mean you're not going?

That's just what I mean.

When your novel's finished, you can have plenty of fun,

and I'll share it with you.

But until it is, I'm Old Lady Sourpuss.

You know, Gil was right when he said that you...

Oh, now don't start quoting Gil.

I got an overdose of that book-peddler last night.

That's a nice way to talk about a man who was so charming to us.

He was charming to you, all right, oh, yes.

He had a bad case on you once,

and he doesn't seem to have gotten over it.

We aren't getting jealous, are we?

No! I haven't got a jealous bone in my body.

All I mean is that Gil Morrell doesn't half-know

what he's talking about.

Did you hear what he said about me giving up my job?

That was the most sensible thing he said.

Oh, is that so? Well, who's gonna stake me?

Of course, we could call up The Rockefeller Foundation.

James, bring me my silk hat, white tie, and tails.

I'm going out and buy a hamburger.

( Chuckles humorlessly) Yes, with onions.

Heh. Wouldn't I look swell wearing tails?

The way you act, I'll bet some of your ancestors wore them.

Where are you going?

I'm going to see about that top hat.

( Telephone dialing)

Could I talk to Mr. Brigden? This is Anne Merrick speaking.

Anne!

You're not going back to your old job.

And who are you?

I am your husband, remember?

Aren't you funny?

Oh, is that you, Mrs. Brigden?

Darling, how are you? Fine, thanks.

Anne, I don't like to make a scene this early in the morning.

Could I speak to the boss for a minute?

If you think I'm gonna be another George Trent...

You won't be. You're going to earn your keep.

You're going to take care of the house and do the cooking.

Listen, Anne Merrick, if you think you're gonna parade

around in a pair of step-ins while I'm home here

slaving over a hot stove, you're badly mistaken.

Oh, Mr. Brigden, this is Anne Merrick.

Well, it's like this...

I'd like to have my old job back.

Cooking.

Certainly, I'm on the level.

All right, I'll hold the line.

When you're not shelling peas,

you can finish the Great American Novel.

I won't give up my job and be a kept man!

Who said anything about keeping you?

I am lending you the money, and if you don't pay it back...

Monday morning, 9:00? I'll be there.

( Knock on door)

Would you be interested in a subscription

to the Women's Home Journal?

Do I look that way?

- Sure. - ( groans )

( Telephone rings )

Hello?

The electric light company?

Well, I paid my...

Oh, you want me to see if the streetlight

on the corner is burning?

I don't mind.

Yes, it is.

Blow it out? Ye...

Hello! Hello!

Wait a minute, wise...

Blow it out.

Sounded like Biney to me.

( Steam hissing )

Are you hissing me?

( Meowing )

Go get your rag and help, will you?

Go on.

That's the biggest thing I ever saw.

Oh, you should see the emerald he has.

It's driving me crazy.

Some Indian princess used to wear it in her nose.

In her nose?

Over there they think nothing of puncturing the nose

and loading it down with jewels.

They must be savages.

He told me he'd give me the emerald tonight.

- Maybe. - Are you engaged to him?

Certainly not.

After all, I only met the man last night.

- Oh. - ( telephone rings)

Hello, how do you do? This is Frances. How are you?

Oh, pardon me.

I thought you were somebody else.

Tired, dear?

Tired? Oh!

Telephone, Anne.

What's the matter? Don't you feel good, honey?

I feel like the breaking up of a hard winter.

Move, my love.

Yes?

Listen, Anne, how about you and Steve having dinner

with an old sweetheart of yours?

Well, certainly I mean me.

How many old sweethearts have you got?

Sounds grand, Gil, but Steve's expecting me home for dinner.

And I have an appointment later.

Well, I'm not very far away. What about me driving you home?

I accept.

In fact, if someone hadn't produced a car,

I don't know how I'd have gotten home.

I'm really tired.

Shh, shh, shh!

Go away, Tiger. Shh!

( Door buzzer buzzes )

Who is it?

Doorman: Good evening, laundry.

Well, it's about time you showed up.

- You got my shirts there? - Yes, Mr. Merrick.

You'll find them right underneath the bill.

Don't I smell gas?

Oh, is that what that is?

Do you cook?

I try to. Do you?

No. I'm always too busy trying to collect.

Anyway, it seems like a woman don't look up

to a man who would do housework.

( Giggles ) Once a woman gets you under her thumb,

she just thumbs you to death.

Oh, yeah.

What about the money for this laundry?

You know the rules.

Us janitors can't deliver it unless we get the cash.

Excuse me. I didn't know you had company.

Oh, come on in, Luella. This is Liberty Hall.

Stevie, I'm in such trouble.

Again? What is it this time, snakes?

No, my papa says I've got to give up my career and come home.

That's good.

Why, Steve Merrick!

( Door buzzer buzzes )

If that buzzer rings again in this house, I'll just...

But I don't want to go home. I'd just as leave stay here.

I'd leave for.

Yeah. And I'd leave for you left.

Come on. Get out.

Now, don't you try to put me out.

I've gone out of here once by myself!

I know. Goodbye.

Well?

I'll have that other laundry ready for you tomorrow.

- I'll pay you then. - I'm sorry, boss.

But no cashy, no washy.

Well, don't worry, you'll get your money.

I'll pay you if it takes my last IOU.

( laughs ) You know, Mr. Merrick,

if I had your soft soap,

maybe I could start my own laundry.

- How much do I owe you? - $10.25.

Wait a minute.

Madam, do you need the exterminator?

- No, and get out of here. - (laughs)

- George! - Steve.

Just in the nick of time. Say, could you loan me $10?

Well, that's what I came to see you about.

Could you loan me a dollar?

- No. - No.

Don't look at me.

I'm only 30 cents short of having a quarter.

I thought you were a millionaire.

I only married one.

You see, I'm on an allowance.

Could you lend me your watch so I can hock it?

My watch is in escrow.

Anne get paid today?

Yeah.

I'll wait.

- Can I help you? - Do you know how to shell peas?

No. But I've always wanted to learn.

Well, step into my office.

Personally, I like canned peas better.

I wonder who ever thought of putting them up

in these little wrappers.

Some day they'll put zippers on 'em.

( Door buzzer buzzes )

There it goes again.

Woman's work is never done.

( Mockingly chuckles )

(pea rattles)

- Well? - I'm back again!

Forgot to ask you for the garbage.

The garbage isn't ready yet.

Well, it's 6:30. That's garbage time.

Well, I gave you some yesterday.

- Yeah, I know, but... - Well, don't be a hog!

Here.

Is that all?

No, I'll try and borrow some next door.

No use, they ain't been eating regular either.

Who was that?

The G man.

G man?

Do I smell something burning?

Oh!

Recipe number 19.

It was.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

- Here, kitty. - ( cat meows )

There you are.

That's a good kitty.

Uh, tell me, Steve, as one housewife to another...

I'm no housewife.

I'm just borrowing until we can live on what I write.

Are you on an allowance, too?

- No! - Well, bide your time.

- Yoo-hoo. - There's Anne now.

Oh, Anne...

George, I haven't seen you for ages.

Say, Anne, could you lend me a dollar?

- Why, George! - Well, Sugar's taking me to Newport.

She's waiting at the station now.

I'd hate to think what would happen if I didn't get there.

Oh, thanks.

- So long, Steve. - Goodbye, George.

Hello, darling.

Well, I spoiled your dinner.

I don't mind.

Have a hard day?

About the same as usual. How's the writing going?

Oh, swell, I'm racing ahead like a fire engine.

I'm so glad.

I get so terribly anxious about it, Steve.

Why?

Well, I want you to finish it.

What chapter are you on?

Oh, I've lost count.

Never mind that.

Chapter five?

Put that down, will you? It's not right yet.

But you were on chapter five last week.

All right. What about it?

You must be inspired.

I'm sorry I ruined your dinner.

Forget about it.

Oh, darling.

Forgive me for being cross.

Forgiven.

You know, you didn't kiss me when I came in.

I know, this business has gotten under my skin

these last few weeks.

It's impossible for me to be close to you.

Is that it?

I've been wondering, because I haven't changed.

I still want you.

- You know what? - No, what?

- I'm hungry. - You and me both.

How'd you like me to get dinner?

Oh, I'm eating right now.

All right, you set the table and I'll get the can opener.

More shortcake?

What do you want me to do, bust wide open?

Say, Anne, how about going out to a picture with me tonight?

You know, we haven't been anywhere together

for a dog's age.

Don't you think you ought to spend the time working?

Yeah. I guess you're right.

Anne?

Could you let me have $10?

Why don't you take it out of the household money?

Well, there isn't any.

But darling, I put $28 there last Saturday.

All right then, don't lend me $10!

- Here it is, dear. - I don't want it.

Oh, Steve, don't be childish.

I've got to leave you now. Don't touch the dishes.

We'll wash them when I get home.

Well, where are you going?

Well, Steve.

Can't a working woman have a little time to herself?

Well, I asked you where you were going.

I've got a date.

Oh, so you won't go to a picture with me,

but you'll step out with some other fella.

Who's the date with?

A fellow I know.

Does he know you're married?

He ought to.

I've got marriage written all over me.

Well, I don't like it.

Oh, Steve.

Please be nice. This is really important.

I don't care, people that are married have no business

seeing a lot of other people.

Oh, I do hope I'm not an intruder.

Well, Luella, how long have you been here?

Just a minute, I often slip in through your balcony.

It's a shortcut.

Oh, well, I'm glad you found a shortcut.

It makes everything much simpler.

What is it, Luella?

Stevie, I want you to come to the station with me

about my tickets.

I'm such a baby.

I'm afraid Steve can't.

He's staying home tonight to work.

Oh, I'll be delighted to go with you, Luella.

Oh...

You won't forget your allowance, will you, Stevie?

Did I do something wrong?

( Door slams )

Luella, how'd you like me to give you

a farewell party with champagne?

- Champagne? - You heard me.

Oh, Stevie, you're marvelous.

I'll go home and change my frock.

I got a brand-new one for the party.

Stevie!

Coming.

Oh, my, but you look powerful sharp.

What? In this old suit?

It doesn't look old the way you wear it.

Oh, don't be silly.

Oh, Stevie, I declare, I don't know

what I'm going to do without you.

I sure don't.

( Door buzzer buzzes )

Oh, my goodness!

Hey, come out of there!

( Door buzzer buzzes )

( Both singing march )

Well, what do you tramps want?

It can't be Steve Merrick.

Say, a remarkable resemblance.

Them eyes, those hair, those nose.

- It is Steve Merrick. - How are you, sunshine?

Oh, I feel fine.

How about a little drink? We're dying of thirst.

We brought our own ice.

Well, we don't serve liquor here.

Oh!

Well, I guess we'll have to use our own then.

( Door buzzer buzzes )

Oh, excuse me.

Here's your champagne, Mr. Merrick. Eight bucks.

Shh.

Champagne?

- Thanks, Kelly. - Thank you.

I'll put this on ice.

I thought he wasn't serving liquor around here anymore.

Champagne isn't liquor, silly, it's a luxury.

Hello.

Well, well, well.

I hope you all don't think it's funny me coming out of there.

Oh, mercy, no.

I was waiting for Steve.

Chasing bats again.

She was waiting for Steve.

I'm ready if you are, Stevie.

I'm taking Luella to the station.

Just make yourselves at home.

I wish I had somebody to buy me champagne.

Listen, gold digger, as long as you run around

with me, you'll drink gin.

And don't I know it.

Ahem.

( Chuckles ) Well, of all things.

The butler told me to come right in.

- I hope you don't mind. - Mind?

Believe it or not, I just got through praying

that you'd walk in through that window.

Look at my knees, they're all dusty where I was kneeling.

Sit down.

Well.

Now, what's on your beautiful mind?

Gil, I need some money.

How much?

Oh, I don't want to borrow it, I want to earn it.

I'm sorry.

I'd like to loan you a lot and then press you for payment.

Well, you see, I know you have a lot of manuscripts to read,

and I thought... well, I might be able

to help you out two or three nights a week.

No, ma'am, I wouldn't take such a risk.

Risk?

If you read scripts for me, you'd have to read them here,

and I guess you know what that would lead to.

I haven't the faintest idea.

Now don't go Pollyanna on me.

I'm crazy enough about you as it is.

If I saw much of you, I'd go right off the deep end

and start dirty work.

By the way, while we're on the subject...

How about divorcing Steve and marrying me?

Oh, Gil.

You're not in love with me.

- You think not? - No.

If you could read my mind whenever I think about you...

Well, you wouldn't say that.

Now, I've let my hair down, how do you feel about me?

You're just a big-hearted brother to me, Gil.

Listen, lady, if I ever started on you in earnest,

Steve'd put you right out on the sidewalk.

Now, how come you need this extra money?

You earn more than Steve did when he was working.

Well, it's, uh...

it's for my family.

I didn't know you had a family.

Don't tell me I'm going to be a godfather.

Listen, lady, you're going to stop being a model tomorrow

- and work for me regularly. - Oh, Gil!

Here's my first gift to my godchild.

I want you to go uptown

and get the gal-darndest rattle they've got.

Solid silver, with letters on it an inch high.

"To snookums, from Uncle Gil."

- Do you hear? - Oh, Gil, I can't take this.

You're going to take it.

It's really an advance on Steve's novel, see?

Gee, he must be thrilled.

- What did he say when you told him? - I haven't told him yet.

I came right straight here from the doctor's.

Come on, get out of here.

You're going right home and tell Steve.

It'll put new life into him.

Oh, and tell him from me that I read those first

few chapters he sent me, and they're swell.

Really, Gil? ( Sighs happily )

Well...

Well...

A grand wife, a novel, and a brand-new baby.

Some fellas get all the breaks.

♪ A change for a d-I-I-ime ♪

Fine, Biney.

Hello.

Hurray, our hostess.

Where's Steve?

I, uh... I think he went out.

Anne, you look all in. Let me get you a drink.

No, thanks. I'll just have a glass of milk.

The champagne.

Anne, don't go in there.

- Why not? - Let me get it for you.

Well, all right.

How about a roast beef sandwich?

No, just a glass of milk.

- How you been, Biney? - Mighty handsome.

( Door buzzer buzzes )

- I'll get it. - Thanks.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, wait a moment. Wait a minute, mister.

I can't let nobody have this till somebody pays their bill.

Where have I heard that before?

How much is it?

$10.25.

What?

He ain't paid me in four weeks.

This is too sordid for me.

Here you are.

I'll see that this doesn't happen again.

I hope so, lady, 'cause them steps is wearing me down.

Polly: Now, stop it, Biney.

I don't want to spoil my appetite.

Well, if beef isn't dead cow, what is it?

Oh! Stop it!

You ever been to a slaughterhouse?

Oh!

Biney, is this for me?

Oh, my soul.

Who let her in there?

You and your dead cow.

Anne, I forgot to tell you...

You shouldn't have done this, really.

It was just a whim of mine.

George: Anybody home?

Hurray, the economic royalist.

Hello, George!

How does it feel to be bought and paid for?

Gee, George, you look funny, funnier than usual.

What happened?

I thought you were on your way to Newport.

I got in a traffic jam. And when I reached the station,

the train had pulled out, but Sugar hadn't.

There she stood, surrounded by her bags

and her maids and my valet, and did she give it to me!

She didn't leave a rag on me.

Honestly, the way I felt, I could have been arrested

for indecent exposure.

- And you took it, I suppose. - Well, I had to, Biney.

You can't stop a woman like Sugar.

You could say something, couldn't you?

Well, I did.

As soon as I could get a word in edgeways, I socked her.

( laughter )

And what did she do?

Well, the last I saw of her, her maids and my valet

were raising her from the dead.

And as far as I'm concerned, she can stay that way.

Hurray, this calls for a celebration.

Well, come on, we've got the makings.

Steve: Just a minute, that happens to be my champagne.

It may be yours, but we're going to drink it.

Did you say yours?

Yes, I bought it for Luella.

Luella, Steve's taken you out a lot, hasn't he?

Why, no.

Well, every time he took you out, I paid for it.

And when he bought you champagne, I paid for it.

- Shut up, will you? - I won't.

All right, then tell her, tell them all.

She buys my food, she buys my clothes,

she pays the rent.

To make a long story loathsome, she's the man of the house.

Now everybody knows it.

( Door slams )

- Where are you going? - Out.

Steve, there's something I want to tell you.

You've told me enough.

But, Steve, this is important!

Just one thing more... That champagne tonight

was the first money I ever spent on Luella.

Then what became of the money?

I've been buying you a winter coat on the installment plan.

- Oh, Steve. - I thought I could pay for it

out of the household money and surprise you.

Well, I only made a mess of things, the way I always do.

The coat's in a box on the top closet shelf.

I didn't want you to know you were paying

for your own present,

but you'll get it back, every last penny.

What are you going to do?

Get myself a job and feel like a man again.

Oh, Steve, don't do that.

Look, dear, I've got a check for you.

It's from Gil. It's an advance on your novel.

What are you trying to do? Make a fool out of me?

It's made out to you.

Oh, Steve, listen.

There's something I have to tell you.

You don't have to tell me. Gil's not paying me.

He's paying you.

Paying me?

I've closed my eyes to a lot of things,

but I won't stand for this.

You don't have to. Go back to your job.

Be a nobody all your life!

A nobody, that's what I've been for four months.

George and I have been nothing but a couple

of pinheaded pushovers, only I wore an apron.

Well, I can be pushed just so far.

Woman: Mr. Merrick?

What is it?

Somebody on this floor is cooking.

Oh, that's a dirty shame.

Why, my dear landlady,

you know I wouldn't be baking a cake on your premises.

Well, you can't trust anybody these days.

Oh, it's you. How are you?

- Thirsty, as usual. - How about a cup of coffee?

Oh, I'd rather stay thirsty.

If you don't mind, I'll finish this chapter.

Go right ahead.

How's it going?

I'm on the last lap.

What's it about?

Boy meets girl, girl meets Gil,

Gil gets girl.

Gil gonna handle it for you? The novel?

No.

What's the matter with Gil?

Why should I send my stuff to Gil?

'Cause he's a good publisher.

Say, nice view of the mountains you got here.

Does it go with the room?

Gil Morrell broke up my home.

Your home is right where you left it.

Takes two to make a home.

And about the same to make a quarrel.

Listen, all I want to do is pay Anne

what I owe her and click as a writer.

When that's done, I never expect to think of her again.

All I hope is that I never have to see her again.

Steve, Anne's going away.

Where's she going?

To her aunt's in the country.

Serves her right.

She wants to see you before she goes away.

Oh.

Oh, she does, does she?

Did she send you over here with that message?

No, Steve, she said to George,

and George told Polly, and Polly told me.

Listen, lug, you can tell Polly, and Polly can tell George,

and so on and so on, that she can go to the country...

- Steve! - And as for you, take my advice

and keep away from my door.

Biney!

When's she leaving?

Was Steve glad to see you?

Sure, when he opened the door and saw me standing there,

tears came into his eyes.

"Gee, Biney," he says,

"you're like the answer to a maiden's prayer."

If I hadn't have kept a stiff upper lip,

I think he'd have kissed me.

He wasn't glad to see me when I dropped in on him.

Well, you don't understand people like I do, George.

You mean well, but you haven't any tact.

Hey, you don't think there's going to be a divorce?

No, Steve's crazy about Anne.

Well, that's great.

People who were foolish enough to get married

ought to stay that way.

Are you going to stay married to Sugar after all you said?

Oh, gosh, Biney. If I love her...

George, you're nothing but a worm.

But what... what can I do?

Ever since I socked her that day in the railroad station,

she's been after me...

Letters, telephone calls, wires.

I... I got this one early this morning.

"To err is human.

To forgive, divine."

So you're going back on relief.

Say, you ought not to move heavy things like that.

You're liable to strain yourself.

A lot you'd care if I did.

Oh, don't be bitter, Polly.

One thing I can't stand is a bitter woman.

I bit her woman once.

( Door buzzer buzzes )

Biney, the door.

Oh, dear, if it isn't one thing, it's another.

Anything wrong?

Those stairs...

We'll have them taken out. You want to see the apartment?

If you please, I... I liked the advertisement.

Come right in.

- Hello. - How are you?

There's the manager. You can talk to her.

- How do you do? - Excuse the looks of things.

Mrs. Merrick's going to the country,

and I'm trying to pack her trunks.

I'll pack it for you, Polly.

- Will you, Biney? - Certainly.

The bedroom's in there. I'll show you that first.

Thank you.

George, come here a minute.

What do you make of this?

What... well, what is it?

Looks like baby clothes to me.

Well, what would Anne be doing with baby clothes?

Oh, I can't imagine.

Unless...

( gasps )

I never thought of that.

Does Steve know?

I don't think so.

You know, this is a real nice place.

How's the kitchen?

Enormous. You could stage an ice carnival in it.

Maybe he doesn't skate.

I think it's terrible.

What's terrible?

Anne not telling Steve.

Oh, they don't tell fathers anymore.

Oh.

You know, it's really very nice.

I don't see why the lady would want to give up this place.

Well, the apartment was big enough for two people

but not big enough for three.

You get it?

Yes. Well, I'll go get Mama.

It won't take long.

Fine. There'll be somebody here.

How did you two find out about Anne's baby?

Now, listen, when Anne comes back,

if either of you says a word, I'll throw you right out

in the streets single-handed.

Look, Polly, all packed.

Well, bless your hearts.

Now let me see you get it downstairs for me.

- I'll get the taxi. - Say, wait a minute, Biney.

I can't handle this thing alone.

You're well rid of him.

He'd probably get you on the front end

and then drop it on you.

Anne.

Welcome!

Get going. Get going.

And have mercy on that trunk.

Thanks, George.

Anne, I don't know what I'm going to do without you.

( Thumping down stairs)

- I knew it... the trunk. - (glass shatters)

Goodbye.

Bye, Polly.

Polly, where's Anne?

Waiting for you.

Steve: Hello, Anne.

Hello, Steve. Won't you come in?

Nice to see you again, Anne.

Nice to see you. You're looking well.

You're looking great.

You don't mind if I straighten things up.

Some people are coming in to look at the apartment.

Well, can't I help?

You know, I used to be pretty good at housework.

Yes, I remember.

Anne, I have something for you.

- What's this? - Part of my debt.

I wish you hadn't done this.

You'll get the rest pretty soon.

But, Steve, this is more than enough.

Not for me it isn't. With me, it's all or nothing.

It was nice of you to send for me.

I wanted to see you.

Did you, darling?

About a divorce.

A divorce?

Anne, what divorce?

Ours, of course.

Steve, I'm not going on like this.

Well, Anne, can't we settle this between ourselves?

You see, I lost my sense of importance.

I couldn't write. I couldn't do anything.

You could fight.

I wasn't fighting you, darling, just myself.

Things were piling up on me. I had to fight.

It didn't matter about what.

It did to me.

Come on, Mama, there's just one more flight.

You told me there were only two flights.

I know, and I made a mistake, Mama.

You deliberately deceived me, Jim Platt.

I've checked over everything. Here's your insurance policy.

Anne, don't leave me like this. I can't live without you.

You've managed pretty well for the last three months.

Who says so?

I've been so lonely for you, I could hardly go on.

You didn't do anything about it, did you?

I couldn't, Anne.

First, I had to win back my self-respect.

I wanted to pay you what I owed you and finish my novel.

I guess those people aren't coming back after all.

Anne.

When you've seen a lawyer, you can reach me through Gil.

Are you going to marry Gil?

I don't know.

Well, would you kiss me goodbye?

Why not?

Man: Well, here we are.

Oh, this is my husband.

Pleased to meet you.

I'm Mr. Platt, and this is Mrs. Platt.

How do you do?

Well, Mama, wasn't this worth climbing for?

You're going to leave everything?

Yes, it's for rent, furnished.

We haven't a stick of furniture. We've just come from California.

Come in here, Mama. This is what you'll enjoy.

He won't be happy till he gets me in the kitchen again.

Steve: Anne?

Are you going to let strangers move in here,

using our things, dirtying up our kitchen?

Somebody's got to live here.

Will you please explain to Mrs. Platt

about that refrigerator?

I'm all balled up.

Yes, of course.

It's very simple, Mrs. Platt.

All you do is step on the lever and the door opens, like this.

Look, Mama, a place to hang your stocking on Christmas Eve.

Oh...

I love to snuggle up to a fire.

My, my, now this is what I call a chair.

You won't enjoy snuggling up to this fire.

Unless you want to choke to death.

This is one of those fireplaces where all the smoke comes out

into the room and the heat goes up the chimney.

Well, I declare.

That can be fixed.

- Cost you a lot of money. - Not me.

That used to be my business.

Oh.

Does the radio work?

Sorry, it's out of order.

Oh.

( Soft orchestra music playing)

You fixed it.

Well, that's the first kitchen I've seen

in this town that is a kitchen.

The bedroom's right over here.

Mr. Platt. Mr. Platt.

It's a very sweet place, but, of course,

the country will be better for your baby.

My husband was telling me.

Cockroaches.

Well, can't you get rid of them?

We tried everything.

Well, that's funny. Out in California...

California doesn't have good cockroaches.

Our state's mighty proud of its cockroaches.

It's just as cute as it can be.

Papa, I want you.

Mrs. Merrick says we can move in tomorrow.

Mama, I want to talk to you.

All right, talk.

I...

Private, Mama.

Oh, excuse me.

What did you tell that man?

I thought it only fair to tell him about the cockroaches.

I have lived here over six months,

and I never saw one.

There's a lot of things you don't see, darling.

I'm only trying to open your eyes.

Mama ( chuckles ): For pity's sake.

Anybody's liable to have those.

We'll be over first thing in the morning.

Do you want to give Mrs. Merrick a check?

I certainly do.

As long as I get that nice easy chair.

That chair doesn't go with the apartment.

But I thought...

That chair doesn't go! And this table and this lamp!

- And that couch! - Steve!

And this woman! And this place is not for rent!

Come on, Papa.

Steve, please. Mrs. Platt, don't listen to him.

Don't listen to her. She's not in her right mind.

I understand, dear. I was like that with my first.

Come on, Papa.

Her first? First what?

Oh, first husband, I suppose. How should I know?

Anne, are you going to have a baby?

- Yes. - ( chuckles )

For a moment, I thought you said "y... ".

You did say "yes"!

Anne. Anne!

That's swell. That's certainly swell.

Two perfect strangers walk in here from California

and tell me I'm to be a father.

What's going on here, anyway?

You're not going to walk out of here with my baby.

Thanks for the memory.

♪ Of meals I used to make ♪

♪ Dishes I would break ♪

♪ No motor trips but burning lips ♪

♪ From all that burning steak ♪

How lovely that was.

Thanks.

Thanks for the memory.

Of... of quarts of gin and rye.

How you'd alibi.

And how you swore the night you wore my mother's Christmas tie.

It was a nice hunk of awning.

Thanks for the night that you left me.

You didn't seem worried about me.

Thought you'd do better without me.

I loved you, though.

All right, I'll go.

♪ Strictly entre nous ♪

♪ Darling, how are you? ♪

♪ And how are all those little dreams ♪

♪ That never did come true? ♪

♪ Awfully glad I met you ♪

♪ Cheerio and toodle-oo. ♪

Thank you so much.

( Door closes)

Steve!

Steve!

Psst. He went that way.

Thanks.

Darling!

( Instrumental "Thanks for the Memory" playing )