Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(CRYING)

Hey, kids, what's wrong?

We were shopping for Halloween costumes and we lost our mom.

And we're never gonna see her again.

(WAILING)

Can you help us find our mom, Mr. Bunny?

This is a mall, maybe we can buy you a new mommy.

(CRYING)

Bad joke. Come on.

Let's get you guys to security.

(SNORING)

- Security! -(GASPS)

How can I help yous guys?

These kids can't find their mom.

I can help you, what are your names?

I'm Phoebe and this is Justin.

Hey, Mommy,

Phoebe and Justin are waiting for you at mall security, all right?

They're real cute, too.

They got cute little cheeks, I can pinch all day long.

Pinch, pinch, pinch. Pinch, pinch, pinch, pinch!

- Pinch, pinch-- - Enough!

-(CRYING) - They're not grapefruits.

Stop crying. Please.

Now, how about I tell you a story until your mom shows up?

- I like stories. - Yeah.

Especially one's with laser guns.

(IMITATES LASER FIRING)

Well then, here goes.

Now, one day I was hanging out in the forest.

And then things got weird.

Rabbit! You stole my waffle fries, you dirty thief.

I don't know what you're talking about, Doc.

Since I can't cover me waffle fries with ketchup,

I'm gonna cover you with ketchup.

Hey!

(GRUNTS)

(CACKLING)

Bye.

-(SPURTING) -(EXCLAIMING)

(LAUGHING)

So you wanna play rough, huh?

Well, I love it when Irish eyes are crying.

-(LAUGHING) -(RUMBLING)

- Ooh! -(SPLATTERING)

Time out. Why was he chasing you?

Because he thought I stole his fries.

- Did you? - Of course not.

But I had to find out who did.

And that's when things got weird.

Get back here, rabbit.

-(GRUNTS) - Rabbit!

You know what happens when I find you?

I make you look beautiful.

First, we carefully take in some foundation.

- Oopsies, I gave you cake face. -(GRUNTS)

Relax.

We're just getting started.

I would offer you a massage chair,

but a rabbit stole it this morning.

- See? - That fella kinda looks like me.

Wait a minute, that is you.

Nobody steals from me!

-(CLANGS) -(GRUNTS)

(STRAINING)

Oopsie, I gave you cake face.

-(SLAPS) -(GROANING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(GROWLS)

(GRUNTS) Follow that rabbit.

I saw him first.

After him!

Hey, where's the laser gun?

I'm getting to it.

But I had to find out who was framing me.

And that's when things got weird.

BUGS: There I was, running for my life.

When who do I run into?

-(GRUNTS) - I, Sir Littlechin,

have found the rabbit who besmirched my honor.

Buddy, what are you talking about?

This clip of Ye Old Tube.

(SCREAMING)

You have brought shame on my undergarments.

Therefore I challenge you to--

- Let me guess, a duel? -(GASPS)

No! A game of one-on-one basketball.

They call me donut, because I always be dunking.

I should open a cafeteria,

because I hit nothing but trays.

En fuego.

How about the next basket wins?

You're on.

(GRUNTS) A laundry basket?

(GRUNTS AND SCREAMS)

Distasteful.

-(GRUNTS) -(SCREAMS)

Get in line, iron butt.

(GRUMBLES)

-(WHISTLES) -(ENGINE ROARS)

Follow that rabbit!

Clearly someone was impersonating you.

But who would be such a meanie?

Stop interrupting and I'll tell you.

Oh, yeah.

Slugsworthy.

You stole my identity and ruined my good name.

In order to be the first to eat waffle fries in a massage chair,

I had to throw Bugs Bunny under the bus.

(SCREAMS)

SLUGSWORTHY: So long, sucker!

Come back here, you big sack of blubber.

(EXCLAIMS)

-(SHOUTS) - Double yikes!

(SCREAMS)

That was it. It was the end of Bugs Bunny.

There was only one thing that could save me now.

A laser gun.

Fired by a mysterious woman riding a unicorn.

(ZAPPING)

Are you all right, Bugs?

Who was that mask woman?

Her.

- BOTH: Mom! - There you are!

I was in the store buying your Halloween costumes when I lost track of you.

Phoebe, here's your unicorn costume.

And Justin, here's your laser ranger.

BOTH: Yay!

Come on, kids, let's go home.

Thanks, Mr. Bunny.

So long, kids.

BOTH: Bye!

I can't believe all that stuff really happened to you.

It didn't. I made it all up.

You made it up?

Yup, great stories are all around ya,

you just have to know where to look.

GUARD: Now that's an ending.

Trick or treat?

Oh, what adorable costumes.

No, no, no. Don't rush.

There's plenty of candy for all.

KID 1: Trick or treat!

One for you.

KID 2: Trick or treat?

And one for you.

- KID 3: Trick or treat? - And one for you.

DAFFY: Trick or treat?

Hey, hurry up with that sugar, pal.

I got 18 more blocks to hit.

Sorry, Mr. Duck,

the candy is for the kids.

And besides, you don't even have a costume.

Oh, really?

KIDS: Yay!

You wanna see a costume?

(INHALES)

(STAMMERING) Candy is for youngsters.

(IMITATES RAMBLING)

(STUTTERING) No, no, no candy for you.

Because I'm a party porker.

Oops, I mean pooper.

All right, that's enough.

Guess what my costume was?

I was a side of bacon.

(LAUGHS)

Get it? Side of bacon?

(SIGHS) Okay, take just one.

Swell, one's all I need.

Just one... Bowl!

Come back!

You know, I've always considered myself a child at heart.

- Whoo-hoo! - Come back you Hallow's Eve hoodlum, you!

(DAFFY CHEERING)

(GRUNTS)

Hey, let me in.

I mean it!

Not by the hair of my chocolate covered chin.

I mean bill. I don't know if I technically have a chin.

(KISSES)

(STUTTERING) Then I'm coming in to get you.

-Entrez-vous. -(SCREAMING)

-(CRASHING) -(MUMBLING)

(STUTTERING) Boy...

This place gives me the heebie...

This place gives me the creeps.

-(MOANS) -(SCREAMING)

A ghost!

(SHIVERING) There's no such things as ghosts.

(STUTTERING) It was just a figment of my... My...

I was just seeing things.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

(STUTTERING AND MURMURING)

(GHOST MOANING)

(SCREAMING)

(MOANING CONTINUES)

(SLURPING) I'm a ghost.

-(SAWING) - Huh?

I'm a scary ghost.

I can see you, Mr. Duck.

Your sheet is...

(STUTTERING) Your sheet is...

You're no longer under cover.

Whoops! Easy, big fella. Wanna lick?

I want my candy back!

Well, it is beggar's night.

But beggars can't be choosers.

Whoo-hoo! Look, a unipiggy.

Whoo-hoo!

(CHEERING)

Get back here.

(GASPS)

Oh no, Mr. Duck, you're not fooling me again.

A-ha! Huh?

Oh, nice try, mister...

You gotta wake up pretty early in the morning to fool Porky...

A-ha! There you are.

Take that ridiculous sheet off and...

(STUTTERING) Talk to me in the face...

(HEART POUNDING)

(POUNDING CONTINUES)

You mean you're not a duck?

(STUTTERING) You're a...

Ghost! (SCREAMING)

Oh, hey, Porky, there's a mini fridge over there,

and I have to say... Whoa, buddy!

You look like you've seen a ghost.

(SCREAMS) I did!

This house is haunted!

Easy, buster, you're acting like a scaredy pig.

Get a load of this guy, would ya?

He thinks this place is haunted.

(GULPS)

So, I was just telling Porky

there's a mini fridge over there.

And you're more than welcome to, uh...

Ghost!

(SCREAMS)

(PANTING)

-(BREATHING HEAVILY) -(GHOST MOANING)

-(TAUNTS AND GROWLS) -(SCREAMS)

(MUTTERING)

-(LAUGHS) - Ghost!

(SCREAMS)

Ghost!

(PANTING)

(GHOST DOG BARKS)

(SNIFFING)

Good work, we lost him.

-(GROWLS) -(BOTH SCREAM)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

(GHOST MOANING)

(SCREAMS)

Eh... Everything okay, fellas?

You look like you've seen a ghost.

It's horrifying. Terrifying.

A ghost was chasing us.

Cobwebs up everywhere. Cold patches.

There was nowhere to turn!

- Stay as far away as you can! - From the haunted house!

BOTH: Across the street!

Across the street?

But that's strange. That house burned down 10 years ago.

Huh?

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(LAUGHS)

Those two, what maroons!

They letting old Hallow's Eve get under their skin.

(LAUGHS)

Someone should tell them there's no such thing as ghosts.

(LAUGHS)

Haunted houses.

(LAUGHING) Oh, boy!

-(PANTING) -(TAPPING)

Oh, thank you.

(CHUCKLES)

Ghost!

(CACKLES)

Happy Halloween!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)