Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Just a few more miles

and I can get this important information to the rebel base.

If I can just get through this raging sandstorm!

(CREATURE GRUNTING)

Uh, I said, "If I can just get through this raging sandstorm."

Hey, uh, artist, what's going on here?

We gotta entertain these folks!

It can't just be me

and whatever this thing is for five minutes.

Give me something to work with here.

-(SNAKE HISSES) - BUGS: Ahhh! Yipes!

(EXCLAIMS AND GRUNTS)

Listen, buddy, the script says specifically,

"Page one, open on Bugs Bunny riding a beast

"under the hot desert planet's suns."

Huh? Oh, thank you.

"Page two. Bugs heroically traverses through the harsh desert."

Ah, lemonade. Very refreshing. Thanks.

(SLURPS)

"Page two. Bugs heroically traverses through a raging sandstorm,"

which is where we have our plot hole.

-(BUGS SCREAMS) -(THUDS)

I said "plot hole," not "pothole"!

This is not the kind of hole I was talking about!

Look, buddy, last I checked the star of this show is me, Bugs Bunny,

not Mr. Anonymous Cartoon Artist.

And I don't think the studio would take kindly

(VOLUME LOWERING) with an upstart like you that's...

(INAUDIBLE)

(ECHOING) ...amateur!

(DRUMS BEATING)

Listen, if we don't get this cartoon going soon

both of us are gonna lose our jobs.

So animate something!

This is your animation?

Are you trying to scare the children?

(BRAYING)

(SLURPS)

Okay, okay, I get it.

Look, I know you work long hours and the pay is peanuts,

but I work hard, too. You think I ever get a break?

No, there's no vacation for Bugs Bunny.

The second this cartoon is over, I'm off to St. Louis

for a series of personal appearances.

Ha-ha. I get it. You think I'm being a baby.

Fine, you want to work off-script?

What's your vision for this cartoon?

Isn't space a little overdone?

(EXCLAIMING)

How about something a little more down to earth?

-(TRIBAL CHANTING) - Yikes!

Something more safe!

-(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING) - Ahhh! How is this safe?

- Ahhh! -(COMPUTER BEEPS)

Phew! Saved by the error.

So, now what? You're gonna reboot the computer?

-(COMPUTER POWERING DOWN) - BUGS: So dark. So cold!

-(COMPUTER DINGS) - Next time, save before you restart!

Okay, you know what? I'm done with this!

Just take me back to my rabbit hole.

Hey, Rembrandt, how am I supposed to fit in there?

- Hey! -(COMPUTER BEEPS)

- Too small! Resize! -(COMPUTER BEEPS)

Uh, when I said "resize,"

I meant just the background, not me, you chicken-scratcher.

All right, then. Now what?

I can't just be a head. Give me a body!

(STRAINING)

You really ought to get your proportions right.

(IMITATING FOGHORN) I say, I say, this is not my head, son.

(IMITATING PORKY) Does this look like the face for this kind of body?

(STAMMERING) Knock it off!

(IMITATING SYLVESTER) Thanks! Oops.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Listen, you supercilious scribbler!

You give me back my head or I'll sue you silly!

Having fun? Put it back!

Ouch!

Listen, buster, I'm not leaving this cartoon until it's finished.

So let's make a cartoon that people want to see.

(BUGS EXCLAIMING)

(LAUGHING OBNOXIOUSLY)

Er, this might be a little too retro.

Okay, now you're just messing with me.

May I see the pen, please?

(GRUNTS)

(COMPUTER BEEPS)

Not on your life!

We're getting near the end of the cartoon here!

We gotta move things along!

Yipe!

(EXCLAIMING)

(YELPS)

(EXCLAIMING)

Not again!

(SCREAMS)

(YELPS)

(YELLING)

(GASPS)

Listen, doc, I just want a happy ending. Something calm and serene.

Could you at least do that for me, please?

Ah, that's more like it. A perfect ending.

(DEEP VOICE) Ah, this is boring.

(ROARS)

(BUGS SCREAMS)

Everybody's a critic!

- Somebody, anybody, save me! -(GLASS CLINKING)

(COMPUTER BEEPS)

This animation thing is a lot easier than they said it would be.

Ain't I a stinker?

Wahoo! Wahoo! Wahoo! Wahoo!

Ah, the last day of summer!

Ooh, what's this? Cinnamon roll!

All right, everybody. Gather round, gather round.

Thank you all for paying to be here today.

It's almost time for the duck days of summer to begin.

Mr. Fudd, what exactly is the duck days of summer?

The legend states if the Summer Duck pops up through this hole in the dock

then we're guaranteed four more weeks of summer.

So, it's like Groundhog Day but with summer and a duck?

Yeah, pretty great, right?

I've never heard of a Summer Duck.

Is it even real?

What's your name, little boy?

- William. - Well, I've never heard of you, William.

Are you real?

Now, let's all wait and see if the Summer Duck shows up.

The anticipation is killing me.

Not really. This whole thing is a scam.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

ELMER: There's still time to buy some souvenirs.

Looks like everyone's wallets are pretty empty,

so let's see if we're gonna have four more weeks of summer.

Ooh, the Summer Duck!

Looks like we'll have more summer.

Don't screw this up for me.

These people think you've brought four more weeks of summer

and I'm going to make money off of that.

Money-schmoney. What's in it for me?

You're a celebrity!

Take a look, these people love you.

- You're a star! - A star!

Everywhere you go, people are gonna be clamoring to see you.

In that case, I am the Summer Duck!

Hey, everyone, the Summer Duck is here!

-(ALL CHEERING) - I'm gonna be rich.

(CHUCKLES)

Time for the celebrity Summer Duck ribbon-cutting at this new hotel.

- Huh? -(SCISSORS CLATTER)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Now, to immortalize the Summer Duck's handprints forever.

-(EXCLAIMS) - I don't have fingers. I've got feathers!

And why stop there?

-(CROWD CHEERING) - Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo!

DAFFY: Ouch!

$10 for a lucky Summer Duck feather.

MAN 1: I want a lucky Summer Duck feather!

MAN 2: Me, too! MAN 3: I'll take 12!

-(ALL CLAMORING) -(EXCLAIMING)

Okay, let's take five, folks.

Look, pal, this isn't what I signed up for, so I quit.

You can quit if you want, but it's not gonna change anything.

- What do you mean? - You can quit me but you can't quit them.

-(ALL CHEERING) - Good luck, Summer Duck. (CHUCKLES)

MAN 1: Summer Duck, we love you!

MAN 2: Can I invade your personal space?

Too late. Woohoo! Woohoo!

This is getting ridiculous.

These people need to leave me alone.

I know! I'll cause a little trouble with my fans

and they'll stop loving me in no time!

- John! - Marsha...

Ketchup, mustard...

(GULPS)

Well, you're out of food. See you later. Woohoo!

Bless you, Summer Duck.

You made this the best date ever.

I'm never washing this shirt.

Well, that didn't work.

This will get 'em off the Summer Duck love train.

- Ooh! -(WHIRRING)

(WHIRRING SPEEDS UP)

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

(GLASS BREAKS)

Let's see how these kids love me

after I drive their precious little ice cream truck into the lake.

GIRL: Yeah! The Summer Duck made it rain ice cream!

(GRUNTS)

-(CROWD CHEERING) -(DAFFY SCREAMS)

This is crazy.

I gotta find a place to hide.

MALE VOICE: Help! Let me out!

A talking statue?

MALE VOICE: Not the statue! I'm in the base!

Hold tight!

I am the Winter Stag. I bring the snow.

I have been trapped in here for weeks, man.

How does that happen?

A conniving bald man tossed in a cinnamon roll

and I just can't resist those little guys.

Did the little bald man look like this?

Oh, you wascally wabbit.

Lots of "W" words mispronounced.

By Jove, that's him!

That guy is the worst!

Okay, pal. I got an idea how we can get back at that bogus baldy.

(WHISPERING)

Hey, where's the Summer Duck? I want to touch him in an invasive manner!

ALL: Hey, there he is!

He's over there!

And now, we ride!

Hey, you crazy duck, you're ruining my summer scam!

-(ALL GASP) - WOMAN: What?

Oh, uh, did I say "scam"? I meant "summer ham!"

Listen, everybody, he put me up to this.

He locked away the Winter Stag.

I don't know what he did with the Autumn Ostrich.

He's the one to blame!

You lied to the masses!

Well, you see, I have a perfectly good explanation for this.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(EXCLAIMS) Help! Help! I can't swim!

- We've got you. - Huh?

-(GASPS) -(CHILDREN CHEERING)

That's right, folks. Enjoy winter while it lasts.

Summer will be here before you know it.

That means you'll be out in six months.

Holy tamole! Six months?

Will one of you feed me, at least?

Here, you like cinnamon rolls.

Come on, let's blow this popsicle stand.

Woohoo!

I'm sorry. I just can't resist these little guys.

(MUNCHING)