Original subtitles

♪ MTV ♪

[rock music]

♪ ♪

[Beavis and Butt-Head laughing]

And then he told me that when you're on a camping trip,

if someone's asleep and you put their hand

in a bowl of warm water, they, like, pee in their sleep.

Uh, really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, right in their pants.

It really works. They pee their pants, yeah.

[both laughing]

Are you feeling sleepy, Beavis?

Yeah, yeah, a little.

Uh, wait here. [chuckling]

[door opens]

[objects clattering]

[water running]

[water stops]

Let me help you get comfortable, Beavis.

Oh, thanks, yeah.

You can use this bag of potato chips as a pillow.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, it's pretty cozy. Yeah.

Oh, still some stuff in there, too.

Wow, good stuff.

There we go, Beavis.

You just relax.

You know, I think I will. Yeah.

Nice deep breaths, Beavis.

[sighs] I might just rest my eyes for a little bit,

if that's okay.

You go right ahead, Beavis.

Relax, deeper and deeper, way down.

[chuckles]

Count backwards from--

Uh, never mind that, Beavis.

Just relax. [chuckles]

Okay.

What a day, what a day.

[chuckles, sighs] Hmm.

Hey!

Are you trying to make me pee my pants?

Perhaps. [chuckles]

Um, wait here. [chuckling]

[objects clattering]

[water running, Beavis humming]

Pee his pants. [snickers]

Well played, Beavis.

We'll see who falls asleep first, Butt-Head.

Yes, we will, Beavis.

Yes, we will.

We are playing the most dangerous game.

And the loser pees their pants.

[snickering]

[rock music]

♪ ♪

Whoa!

I can't tell you how easy that was.

Did you see that?

I sure did.

Yes! Yes!

Oh, yeah.

Boy, this guy really hates bamboo.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I hate it, too.

Yeah, yeah, chop it off. Yeah!

Yes, get it.

both: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Get it. - Yeah.

This guy must score so hard.

That's what I love about this Chinese war sword.

I want this job right here. Yeah.

Do you think you need, like, good grades

to be a sword chopper?

Uh, I don't think so.

He looks pretty stupid.

Stupid people kick ass.

I love it.

The Chinese war sword by Cold Steel.

The Chinese war sword, yeah.

[chuckles] Who's this doofus?

Yeah, yeah, really.

I think that's, like, that guy's son or something.

[chuckles]

He's a disgrace to the family.

[both snickering]

Well, son, if you get fired from Subway,

there's always a place for you here slicing cow heads.

Don't worry about it.

That basketball killed his entire family.

[chuckles]

They ought to kill all the sports, you know?

Yeah, they should kill, like, baseball and football

and stretching and climbing that rope, you know?

Whoa, whoa, look!

Yeah. Yeah, there you go. There you go.

Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

This is the coolest video

I have ever seen in my entire life.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, they should put a thing at the beginning that says

"Definitely try this at home."

"And do not ask your parents' permission."

'Cause it kicks ass. Yeah.

Good morning, Beavis.

Um, yeah, good morning.

You were up all night. You must be feeling very tired.

Oh, yes, yes.

Yeah, in fact, I'm so tired that if you go to sleep first,

I'll go to sleep, too,

and I will not put your hand, like,

in this bowl that's on my lap.

Yeah. [chuckles]

- Oh, really? - Absolutely, yeah.

And that's the truth.

And it's not just me, like, lying or something, you know?

It's completely true, from the bottom of my heart.

[chuckles]

Nice try, Beavis, but the game continues.

Okay, there are how many kinds of rocks?

Three kinds of rocks, okay?

There's igneous...

sedimentary,

and meta what? - [snickering]

[shouts]

Anybody?

Meta...?

Okay, it's metamorphic.

Those are the three kinds of rocks.

[school bell ringing]

Ugh! [chuckles]

[both groaning]

[both groaning]

Damn it, Beavis, this has gone too far.

We've been up for two nights in a row.

That's, like, ten straight hours or something.

Yeah, I'm getting kind of tired, Bergman.

What's your name, again? - Uh, I don't know.

That sounded right.

Cool.

Beavis, it is time for peace.

Let's pour out our bowls of warm water

and have, like, one of those truce things.

Yeah, truce thing. Yeah.

Eh...

one, two, three.

[chuckles]

[chuckles, groans softly]

I am kind of tired or something.

Yeah. [chuckles]

Me too. [chuckles]

- [snoring] - [chuckling]

Yeah.

[snoring]

[chuckling]

Eh...

Damn it.

Um, Beavis? Butt-Head?

[muttering]

Sounds reasonable.

I'm beginning to get concerned that the two of you

aren't getting enough rest, okay?

It seems like you're coming to class fatigued,

and it's affecting your ability to concentrate.

[muttering]

- Beavis, where are you going? - Just go over--

- Beavis? - [muttering]

[body thuds] - I think he's sleepwalking.

[muttering] Ah!

[locker clangs] - Yes!

I'm going to make him pee in his pants.

[chuckles]

[muttering]

- Hey! - Yeah, sorry about that.

[snickering]

[muttering]

[tires screeching, horn honking]

Come back here with your hand

and, like, stand in one place, dumbass.

They don't stand right there, you know?

Ah!

[muttering] [whistle blows]

[continues muttering]

Damn it, stay in one place, dumbass.

Hold still. [chuckles]

Now, it's dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so we need--

Oh. - [muttering]

See bed, yeah. There we go.

Ah, finally...

[chuckling]

Victory is mine.

[chuckles]

[both sigh]

[liquid trickling]