Original subtitles

[rock music]

♪ ♪

[both snickering]

Remember that movie we saw yesterday,

"Freaky Friday"?

Uh, yeah.

This chick and her mom switched bodies

because the chick wanted bigger thingies.

And then they learned a lesson.

So, um, how did they change bodies though?

[soda fizzing]

Uh, there was like a big flash of light

and then the girl was like, "whoa"

and then the mom was like, "whoa"

and then they were like-- [both grunt]

[mystical music]

'Scuse me.

Whoa.

What just happened?

Uh, I don't know.

There was like a big flash of light

and then I was like, "whoa."

And then you were like--

whoa. - Whoa.

Um, Butthead,

you're not gonna believe what my reflection looks like.

You're not gonna believe what my reflection looks like.

Did we just, like, switch bodies?

Whoa. Maybe we did.

Uh, okay, let me try something.

Do you think nachos taste good?

- Yes, yes, I do. - Whoa, that's my thing.

Uh, let me think of one.

Um, do you want to score all the time?

- I sure do. - Whoa!

Do you like cool things and you hate stuff that sucks?

Whoa! Amazing!

It has happened.

I'm Beavis and you're Butthead.

I'm a dumbass.

Alonzo.

Here.

- Beavis? - Here.

Butthead.

Yeah, I'm here too.

Boys, when I take attendance,

I'd prefer you call your own names, mmkay?

We did, sir.

Yeah, see, um--

see, we like, switched identi-stries yesterday.

So, like, he's Beavis and I'm Butthead.

Right, Butthead?

I'm Beavis, dumbass.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right.

And I'm Butthead.

I'm just gonna write the first letter of my name on my hand

so I don't forget. There we go.

Oh, yeah.

Good idea, Butthead.

You're a lot smarter than me.

Okay, guys,

I understand what you must be going through, mmkay?

Identity is a very powerful issue for adolescents,

and I want you to know that

you have my full support on your journey.

Thank you, Mr. Van Driessen.

I appreciate it,

even though I'm a total dumbass named Beavis.

You're very welcome.

Beavis-- I'm sorry, Butthead,

do you need to go to the bathroom?

I do but, um--but I don't wanna touch Beavis' wiener.

You better not. Leave my wiener alone, dumbass.

Wait a minute, maybe it's Butthead's wiener?

Yeah, I don't know.

I'm just gonna play it safe

and pee in your pants.

Don't pee in my pants, butthole.

Sorry, Beavis.

I don't have a lot of options, you know what I'm saying?

It's the only thing that makes sense.

I'm gonna have to go ahead and poop in your pants too.

I'm gonna get you for this, Butthead.

Watch this.

Uh, excuse me, everyone.

My name is Butthead and I'm a dumbass

and please never score with me because it'll suck.

Did you see what I did there?

I made you look ridiculous.

Dammit! I'm gonna kill you, Butthead!

Wait a minute.

I mean, I'm gonna kill you, Beavis!

[both grunting]

Mmkay, identity is very important.

Dobson? - Here.

Dammit, I don't like being you, Beavis.

It sucks. - Settle down, Butthead.

Ah!

Wait a minute, you just hit yourself, Beavis.

Uh... oh, yeah.

Yeah, check this out.

I'm hitting you.

Ah!

Ow!

Cut it out, Butthead

You don't like this, do you, Beavis?

Ah! Ow. Yeah, see.

That's it, Butthead.

I'm kicking your ass.

- Cut it out, Beavis. - [groaning]

Son of a bitch.

[loud thudding] Ah! Take that, butthole!

[shouts]

[grunting]

Dammit, Butthead, you brought this on yourself.

[snap]

[grunting] Do you give up yet?

Never! [snickering]

Ugh, ow, ah!

What about now?

No way!

Ugh, ugh, ow!

Keep going. See if I care!

[grunting]

Switching bodies sucks. - Yeah, really.

You're not the guy who just got his balls hit

with a broomstick like 20 times.

* Got my driver's license last week ♪

♪ Just like we always talked about ♪

You know, when I get my driver's license,

I'm not gonna, like, sit in my room

and play a tiny piano.

I'm gonna go out and tear ass all over the place.

[chuckles]

Run stuff over!

And speed.

[both snickering] - Yeah.

And another thing.

You know how everyone's driver's license pictures

look all dorky?

They're all like... [groans]

Mine's gonna look cool.

I'm gonna look like this. Check it out.

Uh, you sure are ugly, Beavis.

Mine's gonna be cool. I'm gonna look like this.

Check it out.

Okay, here we go.

* Never felt this way ♪

That's not really very good, Butthead.

Beavis, I'm gonna "not very good"

the backside of your ass.

You know what license I always wondered

how you get? A license to kill.

You know, the 007, like James Bond.

How do you get one of those?

Uh, I think first you have to get, like,

a learner's permit to kill, when you're 16.

Oh, yeah.

And then there's, like, a written test.

I don't do good on written tests

but, um, that's one thing I might actually, like,

go to school for and, like, take a test,

you know, because, um--

because that would be cool, you know.

'Cause then, like, when a cop pulls you over,

and he's like, "Excuse me, sir, the reason I pulled you over is

"you just killed somebody back there.

"Do you have your license to kill on you, sir?

And your registration, please."

Yeah, and then I just shoot him.

[chuckles]

No, that won't work, Butthead.

He's probably got a bullet proof vest and he won't die

and you'll just get in a bunch of trouble.

You're right, Beavis.

Violence is never the answer.

Choose to diffuse.

Exactly. [both snickering]

Peace. [chuckles]

[both snickering]

Um, hey, Beavis, there he is.

Okay, Butthead. Now the only way to switch back

is to get that guy to kick our ass again.

Um, hey, uh-- hey, how's it going?

Um, would you mind, like,

kicking our asses, please?

Lucas, do you know these kids?

Yeah, he kicked our ass yesterday.

He, like, banged our heads together.

[chuckling] I said "head."

[all laugh]

You said "bang" too.

That's a good one.

Look, the old me would love to

bash your stupid heads together, fellas.

But since I met Debbie,

I don't solve my problems with violence no more.

Proud of you, hon.

She taught me to see things

from the other person's point of view.

That sometimes, you just need to find a way

to walk a mile in the other guy's shoes,

and then you'll realize--

okay, she can't see us. Here we go.

[grunting]

Coming, honey!

[mystical music]

♪ ♪

Uh, whoa.

What happened?

Did we switch back?

Uh, check the letters on our hands.

My letter got smeared or something.

Uh, mine too.

I guess we'll never know.

So, um, which one am I now,

Beavis or Butthead?

Uh, who cares?

What difference does it make?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Did we learn a lesson?

I sure hope not.

[both snickering]

[rock music]

♪ ♪

Chirp.

[resonant chord]