Original subtitles

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪

Two. [both grunting]

Three, four.

Five.

Uh...

Whoa, hey. It worked. [laughs]

That's pretty cool.

Now when the chicks see us at the pool,

we'll look all pumped and ripped.

[both laugh] - Cool.

Uh, hello, sir.

We wanna, like, swim and show off our guns.

[both laugh] - Yeah, let us in, yeah.

[both chuckling]

Sorry, you're banned.

Can I just come in and take a whiz real quick?

No.

This sucks, Butt-Head.

Got all ripped for nothing.

[girls laughing]

- Whoo! - Stop splashing me.

Whoa, check it out, Beavis.

Our muscles are bigger than those guys'.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, sun's out, muscles out. Or something.

Beavis, we gotta find something that floats

and get in that river.

Yeah, really. [laughs]

Hm, something that floats.

Whoa. Whoa, check it out, Butt-Head.

Beavis, this is our lucky day.

[both laugh]

This is gonna be cool.

[grunts]

Here we go. [both laugh]

Good morning, everybody.

This morning, I am headed over to do a main line

at Nashua City Building.

Another drain cleaner broke a piece of snake in there

and just left, so wish me luck.

Stay tuned, and I hope to see you at the end.

Uh, she's really into toilets.

[chuckles]

Think she, like, brings a toilet with her

everywhere she goes, like, to parties and stuff?

Hey, does anyone need to take a dump?

[chuckles]

I got a toilet right here. Come on, don't be shy.

[chuckles]

That reminds me, I heard that, like,

when you get older, the doctor has one of these,

and he sticks the camera up your butt every five years.

It's mandatory. [chuckles]

Whoa, really? [chuckles]

Why do they do that?

They say it's, like,

to check for scallops or something,

but they really just do it 'cause it's funny.

[chuckles]

[chuckles] Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it is, yeah.

You think this chick does that?

Probably.

Yeah, it's pretty cool, actually, you know, 'cause,

um, then afterwards, you could say,

"Hey, baby, I see you put a camera inside my butt."

[chuckles]

Yeah, did you like what you see?

[chuckles]

The inside of my butt is just the beginning.

Yeah, yeah, because people are more beautiful

on the inside. That's what counts.

[chuckles]

Whoa, it's Waldo. Look down there in the corner.

[chuckles]

Waldo's gonna climb inside someone's butt.

[chuckles]

Waldo's like, "They will not find me here."

[chuckles]

I'd rather be in someone's butt than a book.

- Yeah, really. - I did it!

High five.

[coughing]

Ah, butthole. Oh.

[chuckles]

Ah! Butt-Head, help!

I can't swim. - Uh, what?

[coughing, spluttering]

Uh, Beavis?

Did you, like, drowned or something?

Are you dead?

Hello? [chuckles]

Oh, well. Now where did those chicks go?

Aah! [coughing]

What took you so long, dumbass?

- [coughs] - Damn it, Beavis.

Quit your barfing and start paddling.

We gotta catch up with those chicks.

Okay, oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay, yeah. [laughs]

- No. - Uh, where'd they go?

Whoa, I think I can hear the chicks, Butt-Head.

I think they're up ahead there, yeah.

[water rushing]

It sounds like they're, like, splashing around a lot

and, like, making a loud roaring noise.

- Beavis, we must prepare. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay. [grunts]

- One. - [grunts]

Two.

[water roaring]

Uh...uh-oh.

Beavis, you dumbass.

Paddle the other way.

Okay.

I think it's working.

[both scream]

[both groaning]

[bodies thudding]

[laughs] That was cool.

Yeah. Yeah, that was pretty cool.

[chuckles]

Okay, now where did those chicks go?

[rod whirs]

Oh, look. A gummy worm.

I'm hungry, yeah.

Aah! - Oh, I think I got something.

Aah! No!

Aah, aah!

What's happening? Aah! Oh, no.

Damn it, Beavis. Quit screwing around.

We gotta catch up with those girls.

- Aah! No! - Come on, dumbass.

Aah! Help!

Aah! - [groans]

[panting]

Beavis, you butt wagon.

We're never gonna catch the chicks if you're busy

playing with your toys.

[grunts]

Oh, cool. A fly rod.

Damn it.

What happened to that gummy worm?

What is all this? Looks like--

[both screaming]

Damn it, Beav-- [groans]

[humming]

[distant screams]

- Oh! - Aah!

[both groaning]

[both screaming]

[line snaps]

Aah. [clears throat]

I think I swallowed something.

[coughs] - Shut up, Beavis.

We've almost caught up with the chicks.

Now start paddling. - Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Chicks are cool.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Uh, this is making me, like, motion sick, Butt-Head.

[laughs] I might barf.

Don't let me slow you down, Beavis.

Bonjour, everyone. We are BlackList Parkour.

This is parkour POV in Paris. Let's go.

Where are they? [laughs]

Uh, he just said they're in Paris.

No, no, it's not Paris.

Beavis, he just said.

They're in Paris. - No, no, no.

Oh, I know where it is. It's Houston.

Yeah, this is Houston. - Uh, Beavis?

The guy just said they're in Paris.

No, no. [chuckles]

'Cause he has that Houston accent,

you can't understand, Butt-Head.

[chuckles]

Yeah, see that? See that parking lot?

They have parking lots in Houston.

Damn it, Beavis. It's not Houston.

Butt-Head, I'm tired of you embarrassing yourself

'cause you've never been to Houston, and I have.

[chuckles]

Just need to get over it. [laughs]

Damn it, Beavis.

Why are you so hell-bent on this being Houston?

[chuckles] Yeah, yeah, see?

It's downtown Houston. [chuckles]

Damn it, Beavis. Cut it out.

♪ ♪

This guy's like, "Hey, how's it going?

"Sorry I can't stay. Just doing some parkour."

You know...

♪ ♪

You know, another thing about Houston,

it's actually not the capital.

A lot of people think it is.

Damn it, Beavis. I don't think about it at all.

Shut up.

It's the second-biggest city in Texas.

Yeah, they call it the "Longhorn state."

[laughs]

See, Beavis? See that tower back there?

That's, like, Paris.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

That's one of those, like, big oil drill things, yeah.

That's, like, for the--

for the Houston Oilers, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, oil is big in Houston.

We got a gusher here. [laughs]

Uh, oh, yeah. [chuckles]

You're right, Beavis.

This is Houston. - Yeah, yeah.

See? See?

I was wrong.

I'm not too big to admit when I'm wrong.

And I'm not too big to admit that your mom is a slut.

[both laugh]

Yeah, well, you're right. [chuckles]

Remember that time we went into your mom's bedroom

and that roofer dude was bouncing around

like this on your mom? [laughs]

Shut up, Butt-Head.

It wasn't as good as these guys.

Oh, yeah.

He was all fat and slow.

Uh, uh, uh. [laughs]

I don't see the chicks, Butt-Head.

Uh, just keep paddling, Beavis.

We'll catch up with 'em.

[laughs]

[chuckles]

I still don't see 'em, Butt-Head.

I still don't see 'em, Butt-Head.

Butt-Head? [laughs]

I still don't see 'em.

[soft dramatic music]

Are we dying?

- No. - [grumbles]

♪ ♪

Uh, wait. Look, Beavis.

Out on the horizon.

There's someone coming to save us.

We gotta get ready.

One.

- Um, Butt-Head? - Two.

Um, that's a--that's not-- um...

Shut up, Beavis.

There could be chicks on that boat.

♪ ♪

Um, Butt-Head?

Um, Butt-Head?

- [groans] - It's small.

That's right, Beavis.

There's probably only room for one of us

'cause of all the chicks, so you'll have to stay here.

[groans] - Um...

Yeah, okay.

We'll come back for you.

Maybe. [laughs]

Seven.

[hard rock music]

Nine.

♪ ♪

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪

Chirp.