Original subtitles

The girl on the broom-stick

Story by Screenplay by

Dramaturgy Team Dramaturg

With

and others

Assistant Director Assistant Set Designer

Cameraman Continuity

Assistants to Head of Production

Make-up Properties

Costume and Mask designer Costumes made by

Music by

Played by Conducted by

Lyrics by Song sung by

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Set Designer

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Made at

Get a move on, the bell will be ringing!

It will soon be end of term...

I shall begin testing you!

What's happening back there?!

You're passing notes!

- Yes, please.

Stand up Saxanna!

I see!

The metamorphosis of an animate being into an inanimate and vice versa.

You're trying to cheat?

Walk up to the blackboard!

You will now show us a metamorphosis...

...into a raven!

Dessem... - No prompting!

Do you know or don't you?

- Dexem po...

...vederex!

Rebeke plex!

But... - There we go...

There now, just as I thought!

She doesn't even know what a raven look like!

Did you ring the bell, Miss? - Bring me a raven from the cabinet!

- Please... I do know!

Well?

- Dexem po... krumplex!

Excuse me, Miss, we always used to do cows

in nature study class!

- This is what it comes to when pupils don't do any work!

Another bad mark for you!

My note book!

Saxanna, Saxanna...

She took advantage of the situation!

Little basilisks or werewolves would be happy

to have your changes of studying...

And you don't appreciate it?!

- No.

- No?

But my dear child,

a witch has a very responsible job.

She calls up hailstorms, casts evil spells in cattle, very serious matters!

- How can she cast evil spells on cattle

if she doesn't know the difference between a cow and raven...?

- There now, you see...

What when more important problems come? -

Fattening up children, placing them onto shovels, roasting them,

and so on...

Schoolings is insdispensable in this field!

- It isn't any fun.

- Is that so?

And who is your father?

- A bat.

- Ask him to fly to school tomorrow morning.

- Well, Sir, he sleeps in the mornings.

- That's right.

Well, ask somebody to take a message home,

that you're being kept in after school for three hundred years!

Dammit! Nothing but sulphur!

These eternal spells of yours!

- At least you're not bored stiff!

- Well, my dear, three hundred years...!

With people, some nine generations!

- Did you ever stay amongst people?

- Yeah, but that's a long time ago.

I drank a certain farmer's blood.

Yeah.

That's how it is.

- What's it like down there?

- Down there?

The people all seem to be nuts.

- Nuts? - Yeah,

really nuts.

For example: Somebody steals something,

and instead of becoming invisible

or changing into a carrot

he stays as he is

and they catch him... The fool!

- But why?

- They don't know how. They're such squares!

Don't they learn how to cast spells at school?

How did you get there, anyway?

- Oh, there's a thing in one of those books.

Why do you ask?

Time enough for that. You'll be taking

in your 83 rd form!

- Isn't this a waste of time?

I could get some work done in advance!

- That's the way!

I think that this is the one.

The World of the Humans...

Yes, here it is.

We enter the World of the Human in five ways:

As a mouse, a fog, a sheep, a crow or an owl.

These metamorphoses allow for a sojourn into the human world

of forty-four hours.

Here, read it yourself!

Conversion into an owl:

Cross your arms at eye-level...

...and utter the spell:

Detereme... - Don't say it out aloud!

...xydravoplax vebete... - I said stop it!

...mexabo plex!

Strike me pink!

A pretty kettle of fish!

- She must have done it on purpose, Sir!

- Do you know what could happen?! - Such a silly fool...

- Well.

- But she'll be back anyway in forty-four hours.

- What of she drank some old hag's ear brew...

In that case she'd never come back.

- There now, I forgot that!

You follow her and keep an eye on her!

And if she gets into trouble then you'd do better not to come back either!

How did she leave?

As a sheep or as a frog?

- As an owl.

Mr. Headmaster! Mr. Headmaster!

What shall we do with this owl, Sir?

It's flown in of its own accord, we've got no papers for it!

- It's all agape. - It's a youn'un.

What about giving it to Johnny? - Just the thing

it's his birthday tomorrow.

Just look at those eyes!

Hello dad. What's that?

- Undo it! - What is it?

- You'll see. I'll go and get a cage.

- We've got enough of a Zoo at home already...

- You wait and see what it is!

- Jeeze-strike-a-light-allelujah!

How do you like the bird?

Bring her in here, we'll pop her into a cage!

- Into a cage? No!

- Hurry up!

Dexem po... vederex.

Was there a chicken in there too?

What are you staring at? Where's the owl?

Lost your tongue?

- No.

- There was no owl in there? - No.

- Bauer sure messed this up!

- Henry, there's a chicken here.

- I know. I'm coming.

What are we going to do with it, Henry?

- I'll make a chicken paprika dish tomorrow.

- No!

You're not going kill that chicken! - Are you mad?

We're no vegetarians!

- You mustn't overdo this love of animals business...

- What if it isn't a chicken at all?

- What is it, then? A woodpecker?

- Dad, I think it's...

...some girl.

- Johnny!

- My dear boy!

- This is terrible.

- He's talking to that bird in there!

And so I refused to be kept in after school for 3OO years

and decided to run away.

- But you said you have to be back in 44 hours.

- In 38 hours now!

I've wasted six as owl.

- What will you do then?

- I don't care. It'll work out.

- Do keep quiet! There'd be a row!

- What's a row?

- That's better.

- What is it?

- A transistor.

You've never seen one!

- The things you have here!

- Johnny dear, some tea for you! - Just a minute, Mummy!

Dexem po...

...dexem po...

- Gripes, come on, be a chicken!

- Dexem po... Krumplex.

- May I come in, Johnny? Take an aspirin.

- I'm letting nobody in!

- You're afraid we'll take the chicken away?

- Get away!

The way he's panting!

- Panting?

- That means he's furious.

- That's right.

One does pant when one's furious.

I'll talk a psychiatrist tomorrow.

- Good afternoon, could I please borrow some vinegar?

- Yes, of course.

- Thank you.

- How's Napoleon doing? - My husband is just renovating him.

Has John told you I had to give him a D in maths?

- Again?

Nothing but nonsense in his head! - Birds!

You can't stay this way!

You can't even get through a door!

And who will feed you...?

Can't you change into something more sensible?

Remember that spell, dammit!

Hush!

A classroom's no place for poultry!

Classrooms are for pupils.

- You'd better change into a pupil!

- What? - Nothing!

- Who's got a chicken or hen in here? - Do something, dammit!

- What did you say? - Get of my back!

- What about John?

Are you a new pupil?

- Yes.

- What is your name?

- Saxanna.

- And your surname?

You don't have one?

Who is your father?

- A bat.

- I won't have such talk!

- Her name's Kudlackova.

She's from Plzen!

- I'll have to put your name in the register.

Interesting schools you must have in Plzen!

Where's the bird?

- I haven't got one.

- I'll give a little test.

That was a shock!

What a stink!

- Sorry!

I'm looking for a girl named Saxanna.

- Don't know her!

- She may be an owl or a chicken just now!

- I heard a chicken in form 9 just now!

- Would you be so kind? - I need to talk to her urgently.

Somebody called Saxanna has a visitor.

They say she's either a girl or a chicken.

Thank you. - Please.

Don't mention it! Look at the mees you've got me into!

They sent me after you - to keep an eye on you.

So no nonsense, d'you heard!

The most important thing is never to drink any old...

...any old hag's ear brew!

In that case you could never return.

Now whisk off!

What I like here, my dear colleague, is your advanced technique.

We do everything by hand at home.

- And where is that?

- That's a service secret.

The isectivore include the mole, the shrew-mouse...

- Listen, could you get a hag's ear for me?

- What? - A hag's ear.

- Are you mad? One can't buy that!

- You must get it for me!

In that case I can stay here, see?

- That's enough!

Saxanna, take your things and come and sit here!

You don't have any schoolbooks?

- All her things are still in Plzen, Miss.

- Don't keep answering on her behalf! She isn't dumb, is she!

Sit down!

- Jeeze!

I'm surprised at you, Rousek!

You wait till the headmaster comes in.

That Napoleon business is going to cost you dear!

- Stop making faces and come to the blackboard!

Name the rodents you know!

The forest rodent,

the water rodent - called the tortoise...

- Stop and sit down!

Your fourth bad mark.

I had better clarify it for you.

Let's write it down.

Insect-eaters also include: - The old hag!

- The domestic rabbit... - She's a hag?

- Yeah. - Could you get me her ear?

- What's a hag? - Her ear.

...the hare...

If you get it for me I'll do anything for you!

...the musquash...

- Yeah? Swipe that that note-book then!

...the hamster...

- Right!

...the mouse... rat...

...squirrel...

...the ground-squirrel... ...the marmot...

...and the beaver. Characteristics!

Rodents have teeth that are characteristic

for the whole species.

- Surely that's impossible...

- Why should it be impossible?

This is what a rodent's teeth look like:

Some chompers...

What a pity, we have such a good nature-study lab,

but we don't have an example of rodent's teeth.

I did so want to show you.

- Rebeke mex. - But...

- I say! - Cripes!

- D'you see those teeth!

- Such biters!

Come in.

Sit down!

What happened to you, Mrs. Peskova?

- We're doing rodents and suddenly...

- Ah, a teaching aid! Good!

Excuse me?

You three

will come to the teachers' room at two!

We shall talk about the disgraceful damage done

to the bust of Emperor Napoleon

who, as we all know, once spent a night in our town.

You will be punished and your parents shall be told.

Sit down!

Our parents... Gee-wiz...

Saxanna! - I'm busy.

They promised to get that ear for me! - Don't be silly!

- You said it can't be done and they say it can!

- Scoot! We're in a hurry!

- I'll come when I have the ear.

Come here, Mickey!

What's this I heard?

- What a lot of tripe!

Someone dressed up to look like us.

We didn't go near that statues yesterday, did we?!

- I'll find out the truth, my boy!

In any case: You stay in today

and do some schoolwork!

Who on earth's that girl?

- Saxanna Kudlackova. - Kudlackova...

- We're coaching her.

- In what...

Stop it! Who's to listen to that?!

- How come it plays?

- Don't bother us! The teachers' conference takes place in half an hour

and we have to think up something!

- That hand trick's a marvel,

but how do we use it...?

- She knows some more tricks, don't you?

- What if she wiped out the school?

- Could you manage that?

- Hmm.

- What's the good?

We'd have lessons somewhere else and their conference'll take place tomorrow!

- That's a fact!

Are you having your lunch or not? I can't keep heating up that rabbit!

- I'm busy! - The more for us!

Rabbit! Rabbit every day...

My aunt steels them, from the caretaker's over the fence,

to economize. - Wait...

What if she changed the teachers into rabbits?

- Would you know how?

- Cripes! - Why not?

If she's a witch - nothing's problem for her...

- Sure thing!

We'll slip them into the rabbit hutch and that's that!

That could work! - Hmm.

And what about that ear?

- Yeah... You'll have this afternoon!

- You are nice...

And whose ear will it be? - My aunt's.

Could they be wisdom teeth?

- Wisdom teeth... Just look at the sight I am!

- You don't have a squirrel in the family?

- Please...

It's very useful for demonstration purposes.

Would somebody please put the kettle on for coffee.

Auch!

- Again? Have it seen to!

Have it fixed!

- What is that you keep drinking?

- An excellent thing! My asthma you know...

Sage tea.

- The note-book. - Call in those three boys!

Have them come in! - Yes.

You can go in now, and knock!

Count up to twenty and then burst in!

Come in!

One, two, three, four...

...That's a fact... It couldn't have been us,

we were all baby-sitting yesterday.

- Right... You look it...

Anyway, the Culture Commission representative, Mr. Blaha,

will tell us all about it!

Ah, here he is! Sorry! Come in!

What do you want?

- Dexem po... - Excuse me?

- Dexem po... - Dexem po. Who is this girl?

What a sight she is! - A new girl in form 9...

Go away, Saxanna, you shouldn't be here at all!

- Dexem po... ...multo...

- It look like she's not all there...

- Take her out!

- Get a move on! - How dare you, Rousek...

Is that the way to talk to your teacher?

- Hell's bells, hurry! They should be turned into rabbits by now!

- What? Turn us... into rabbits?

- Dexem po... multo shumpoplex!

And they're rabbits! Great! - What?

She changed them into rabbits?

How's that possible? - No problem.

- What are you waiting for? Transform him!

Transform him, before he does something silly!

- Police? This is Blaha.

Yes, the Zoo.

Yes, the manager of the Zoo. - Hurry up!

- No, this is not the Zoo...

I am... - Dexem po multo shumpoplex!

- Hullo, hullo...

Said this isn't the Zoo... Don't be daft! Quick!

Look, the headmaster!

We can't leave this here! It would be suspicious!

We caught them in the school buildings, so they must be yours!

- But I have 21 rabbits.

Actually, only 2O! Somebody stole one again yesterday!

- You see... You get them stolen why not have these -

free! - But what if somebody recognizes them?

- Nobody would... - What makes you think so?

But they're all white and all alike.

- Xerylox buxanto!

But... They're not white at all!

- Cripes... - I've never seen this sort before.

- Some trick!

- Put them inside, then! Goodness me...

Some trick!

- Yeah, but our time's running out my girl...

19 more hours and we're off...

- And what if not?

Good afternoon, excuse me. I hear the conference did not take place!

- Oh yes it did...

Well, it didn't.

Actually, it did, but you see,

then it didn't.

They've all disappeared. - Disappeared?

What odd goings on...

Our Katie was telling us, there's a girl called Saxophona in her class

who's trying to get a human ear.

- She must be a bit...

She looks rather excentric.

Excuse me!

And now the ear!

You promised!

Silence!

Or I'll throw you out! Where's Mickey?

- With his father. We're to wait for him here.

- Hmm.

- Why don't you tell her? - What are you tell me?

- Nothings, she's a bit dippy...

- That's not true and they promised!

- Promised what?

- That I could have your ear.

I have to boil it.

- Your humour'll dry up, my dear...

And I'll tell Mickey's father about the people he brings in...

You're really not going to get ear for me?

- Are you really that daft?

- But I did change them into rabbits! - Exactly!

You're off a few hours and nobody will ever know what happened!

- We'd be real nuts

to try and get it for you, you silly chit!

Yes, cry, you'll feel better!

- Even worse than the basilisks! You're horrid!

Where I come from monsters behave like monsters...

- Cheerio, monster!

- I'm not staying here,

it's worse than back home!

- That's the right line!

- But before I disappear I'm going to tell Johnny everything!

- Oh no you aren't!

- I wouldn't reckon with doing that!

Boxes hok!

Toxare rex!

Bad news. They want to stick into a reformatory.

Where's Saxanna? - In the closet!

- She was making a fuss and so we showed her...

- But we'll be needing her!

Saxanna...

She's gone!

Do you know what you are? What if she's changed into a mouse?

She may be telling John everything right this minute.

- You're mad... mice don't run that fast.

We'll go by taxi.

And we've got their keys.

I don't know... We were doing rodents and suddenly this.

- You were lucky, Mary... - How's that?

- Really lucky!

Just imagine if you'd been doing the rhinoceros...

You'd have a coat hanger instead of a nose.

- I seem to be in a madhouse since morning.

- Calm down, you're home, nothing can happen to you now.

Home is an oasis of peace...

- Charlie!

- What's up! Oh, my head!

- Saxanna Kudlackova! What is this supposed tom mean?

- Who's that? Oh! My leg.

Oh! - Napoleon...

I think I'll have to kill you.

The work that's gone into it... My leg's broken.

- That's the limit...

Pick up that statue, Saxanna! Can't you see I'm supporting my husband?

- Do I get to know how that girl got in here?

- On a broom-stick.

I'm beginning to understand all sorts of things!

- And what does she want in here?

Get up and tell us what you're doing here!

- I'm sorry!

My steering went wrong...

I meant to land next door at the Blaha space.

Could you untie this please?

No indeed! I don't drive rascals about.

- You mind what you're doing! We'll change you into a rabbit!

- Dexem po... - Multo...

- Shupoplex! Shuplex! - Shuplex!

- Nuts to you, kids!

- What if a weasel gets into the rabbit-hutch?

- I can't remember the formula. - Oh, does it hurt!

- I'll take you for an X-ray.

Charlie...

You stay here and try and remember!

You must remember! They have families to support...

What colour are the rabbits? Black or white?

- Stripey...

How did you get in here? - From the flat next door.

- Why don't you go after Mickey.

I'm busy, I'm going to the pictures with dad!

- I don't know what you mean by pictures,

but you won't be going anywhere with your dad...

He's a rabbit now!

- What did you say he is? - A rabbit.

Mr. Javorsky, Mr. Keprle...

Ah, colleague Marik!

Just keep cool, gentlemen!

And why do you mind so much, having a rabbit for a father?

Mine's a bat.

You'll get used to it.

- But you look at everything with different eyes!

Did that... bat of yours ever play with you?

Did he ever explain - say - what an airship is?

- He sleeps by day because be flies about by night!

- There, you see! Sleeps by day off goodness knows where by night...

With some people it's no odds if they've got a father or a bat,

but... even though my dad does get on my nerves sometimes,

he's great and I do love him.

- What's what? - What?

- To love. We never learnt about that.

- Well, that's a problem then...

Look, see this cup and this saucer?

Without the saucer the cup would feel lonely...

That's why it's worried when it's not in place.

And if anything happened to the saucer,

then the cup would care,

because they belong together.

Do you understands?

- Yes.

You're worried about your father?

- Of course I am!

What if Mrs. Vondrackova decided to do him in!

- So that's what it means - to love.

- I'd like to try that.

We don't have such things back home.

We just cast spells on people. - Let's go!

- Where to! - To get the rabbit!

Gently, or she'll get mad...

- What when we do catch her?

- I've got a plan!

- That's a Mickey and the boys. Hide!

The balcony!

What do you want? Where did you get our keys?

- Where is Saxanna?

- How should I know?

- We'll beat the truth out of you!

I've searched everywhere. The girl's not here!

What are we going to do?

- Beat him up until he's willing to tell us where she is!

Are you going to tell us?!

Hoterex fade!

Look who is here... - Hi, Saxana.

There -

and now I'll make you into this!

Hokare to...

- Don't be silly!

- We've be looking for you. We've got that ear!

Or don't you need it any more?

The boys said you didn't want to stay here any longer!

- I've changed my mind.

You see, I want to know what is means..."to love" somebody...

- Oh I see... Well, that's the right decision!

- "To love", yeah, that's a great thing.

And it's worth staying here for.

And where's the ear?

- We'll take you where. They have as many ears as you'll want.

- Give me that head! And the rest too!

I said the rest too!

- Where can it be?

- If you want that ear, we'll have to hurry!

- All right, I'll find him afterwards.

I've been working with rabbits for twenty years now, Miss.

You have to keep working at those teeth.

Or they'll be this long in a week's time.

- But I eat, don't I?

- You must nibble and nibble!

Here, nibble!

I make you responsible for their safety! For just a few days.

Mr. Javorsky, Mr. Masek, Miss Koutna...

- I beg your pardon? - Oh nothing!

My pet names for them.

- Some foreign strain, isn't it?

- Yes. Would you kindly take special care of them...

- Yeah, we'll read them fairly tales at bedtime...

- They'd prefer the classics!

Here they'll let you have what you like. If it's a leg you want, a leg you get!

- Let's go, then! - You go on ahead!

I'll be home in a minute.

Wait here.

Good afternoon, doctor.

The leg's all right.

But my head.

I keep seeing things.

What are you doing here, anyway? - I've come to get an ear!

PS YCHIATRIC WARD - Here?

It's good thing you've brought her in. You can't be all bad

if you care about your classmate's health.

What's the matter with you?

Overworked, I suppose?

We'll have to take that girl in for treatment.

Looks like a disorder of a more serious type.

Call her in, sister!

Kudlackova.

Good afternoon.

- So you need an oldish ear, do you? - Yes.

If I don't manage to find one, I won't be able to stay here.

- But of course you'll stay here...

You'll settle down and wait for that ear...

- But it mustn't take too long!

Otherwise I changed into an owl tomorrow and disappear.

- Ah, yes, of course...

Sister will take you to your room now.

- Are you my sister? Then you father's a bat too, what?

This is Saxanna Kudlackova.

- How do you do? I'm Rip-van-Winkle's sister-in-law.

- Really? I was originally a witch.

- Here you go! - Are you waiting for an ear too?

- No. I'm waiting for Christopher Columbus!

- I can see you two'll understand each other.

Where's the handle? - There isn't one.

So that nobody escapes.

Only they forgot that Columbus'll be coming by boat...

Through the water pipes.

So they've looked us up! - Hmmm.

- Is there a broom here somewhere? - No.

But we can play marbles.

If you've got a hole, we can play.

Oh, isn't he pretty! - Don't touch!

Zarache beteme valo ketax!

I'm so glad it worked.

Johnny, you must tell me what to do.

- What's happened?

Where are my arms and legs?

- Look like we're all going into straight-jacket!

Good afternoon. - Hello!

In such a hurry to get onto your pedestal?

But the nose is not...

WHERE IS SAXANA?

In hospital. In Psychiatry.

Such nonsense.

I don't suppose I'll find that ear.

- Yes, you'll disappear... But what about those rabbits?

- What shall I do? I'd have to have that book.

- Tarzan and his Mate.

That's a lovely book! - Will you please leave us alone!

- Hush!

- What book? - The Lexicon of Magic Spells.

Everything's in it. - And where is that Lexicon?

- Back home!

- Geee! It talks!

Great heavens! In there... Go quickly!

- Alone? I'll get Willie!

Willie! Willie! Willie!

She's just overworked.

When I get that way I see sheep. Or cows...

- But the head talks, Doctor!

It's young Blaha' a head! - By jingo!

- Calm down! As a physician I know

what's possible!

But the head's talking to the Kudlackova girl!

- Crumbs!

- Well, so what?

Let's go and have a look, then!

Does it fit? - Yes.

- I must be mad! - Come on, before somebody comes in!

- Where are you off to? - Stand where you are!

- Do something! - Dexem po... krumplex!

An honest-to-goodness looney house!

See? Cows!

I'm overworked too. That's quite normal.

Where is Saxanna? - Are you Christopher Columbus?

Where's your ship?

Glubg, glub, glub, glub... - You see, nurse -

this head couldn't have spoken...

Just as those cows aren't real. Where's your common sense?!

It's not that bad here!

Listen, why go back now?

- There's no fun here. - All right.

But tell our Headmaster that I won't be back till morning.

You see, I promised Mrs. Vondrackova that I'd help her with the washing.

She's got a washing machine.

Look!

- Through a fireplace or a well, you said...

- A fireplace or a well!

Thanks.

Come on!

There they are!

Where are they? - Must have fallen in.

- So that's that. - Fine!

Let's throw in the rabbits too!

Just imagine, somebody stole those striped rabbits!

- What?

Well, there always will be thieves about...

- And they were so special!

I could cry! - There now...

Mrs. Vondrackova - My only pride and joy!

Xerylox buxanta!

Mrs. Vondrackova, we've come to get those rabbits!

- Somebody stole the stripey ones!

- What are you saying?

Goodness me!

- Let us have them! - No! I've got them

and I'll keep them! - We'll just take them, then.

- You get out of here, boys!

Or you'll make me angry...

- Mind your own business, you old codger!

- You're asking for it...

Uxandra pruxa!

You wait, you'll be sorry!

- Don't nettle him!

- I think these gentlemen won't go home in a hurry!

- Aren't you clever!

Good evening, Mrs. Blaha. Mr. Blaha says

you are to put us up for the night.

- For the night... Why?

- Mr. Blaha said he'd explain tomorrow!

- And he sends you his keys, for you to believe us.

Fancy that...

Did you hear that, gran?

- And is Johnny with them?

- John fell into the well!

- Jesus Christ! - But we pulled him out.

He's O.K. - And you got hurt?

Come along, I'll see to it for you. - No, it's nothing!

- Such brave boys!

This is the braying class.

Come on!

Watch it!

- Damn it! I'll show him!

He thinks that as his father's a dragon with ten heads,

he doesn't have to work...

You don't know me. I will show you! - He teaches us how to shrink.

He's very nice!

OFFICE

Look!

That's bad, really bad!

I don't know what you think will save you...

Are you just waiting for some Prince

to change you into a Princess with a kiss?

Sit down!

Come in!

What can we do for you, Prince?

- I have a message from Professor Merlin,

would you kindly let him have The Lexicon of Magic Spells -

for a spell. - Yes of course.

My best regards to the Professor.

- Thank you. Thank you.

Back to your places! It's not that easy to become a Princess!

I advise you to study!

Haxipola, come to the front!

Saxanna! So you're back!

Which class are you from?

- Form nine A! - Ninth from?

How is it that I don't know you?

What odd clothes you're wearing!

Come on! - What's that?

The Lexicon! - Hold him!

- Well... Sound the alarm!

How dare you?! - Hold on! Nearly got it!

Professor Magic! Professor Wizard!

Alarm! Alarm! Alarm! - What is going on, headmaster?

- Alarm!

- I've got it! - Draw a month's foot, quick!

- The Lexicon! - Nonsense! Call the dragon!

- The one with two heads'll do. - They're out in the playground!

- Determe xydravoplax vebete mexabo plex!

- Why didn't you call the dragon?! - I told you so!

- They are gone.

- You don't know how to behave in an emergency!

- I can only change wolves into grandmothers!

- Judo will be compulsory from now on!

We've got two extra owls again.

- Where the heck do they come from?

What's the time? - Half past seven.

- Put them into a sack, I'll drop by at Mr. Blaha's house.

I want to ask what's the matter with him - he's never as late as this...

Up you get, boys!

You'll be late for school.

- Just a bit longer...

- Anna! Come here!

- What's up? - Is anything wrong?

That's... from the well!

A tumour, from infection.

- Good morning, Mrs. Blaha. - Good morning.

- Is the boss at home? - My poor boy,

they'll have to trim them for you!

But my husband spent the night at the Zoo. With Johnny.

- Impossible! I'd have to know about that!

Good morning. - Good morning.

- You've got visitor I see.

Here, you undo it! You have nimbler fingers.

Come on!

What's wrong with him? - That's from pulling Johnny

out of the well at your place. - Out of what well?

Now then, where is my husband and where is Johny?

Jeeze-strike-a-light-allelujah...

- Anna, look!

Johnny...

- I say, so here you are!

The Lexicon, Johnny!

Velo - rex! THE ADVANCED LEXICON OF MAGIC SPELLS

- What is this supposed to be? - You mean this?

That's full of spells.

I'm going to change those boys into hot dogs...

- Follow me, quick!

- He stole the Lexicon! Bring it back!

Come on, Johnny...!

- They've looked us in!

- More of your goings-on?

They've gone. - What can we do?

- What on earth, rabbits and Napoleon?

- I just don't get it. What was it all about?

- Please don't keep us now, mummy!

Saxanna's to disappear at nine and we've got to get it done in time!

- I'll explain afterwards. - A broom!

- Where's the broom? - Over there!

But I've already swept the floor, dear!

- You're all sure perky of a morning!

I'll come again!

Fuses - my weak point!

- Johnny!

Mummy, go to the rabbit hutch and feed dad!

He hasn't had hid breakfast yet!

- Anna! Are you going to let him? - Toxare kex!

- It's in your own interest...

- This...

- Strike me pink!

- He's forgotten his scarf! He'll catch cold!

Why drive in such an old banger!

Let's change the car! Find the place!

- Changes."C"...

- Changes it into something decent! - I've got it!

Did you see that?

- This is more like it!

- Have you broken some regulation? The police is after us!

- Honest! Two of them! - They must be after us!

- Cripes... Do something - quick!

What can we do for you? - Surely you don't want us!

- We're in a great hurry!

I'm sorry, purely an error, you may drive on.

I saw some boys in that car.

- Did you notice how they talked?

Those voices... And in Czech...

- Where are we going?

- To Switzerland. - Right!

- But those two are on our tail again!

- Who? - The two cops!

- We're got the Lexicon, haven't we?

- That's a fact.

- It worked once, but now we've had it!

What was that?

Doesn't look like it!

What is it?

- Nothing. Bon voyage.

- Why are you bothering us? We're on the way to Switzerland

to consecrate a church! Step on it, you chump!

I don't like it!

- Bishops in a Fiat 5OO... Nonsense!

Damm it, move over! We're packed in her like sardines!

Damm fool idea!

- Wait a minute, then! Let's try again...

- Hurry up!

- Go down! This is it!

- Hold on!

We can't stay in this garb in here!

- Why not? We're moving out a monastery...

- Yeah. But we haven't eaten yet! And we can't go into a pub like this!

- All right then.

Watch it!

Now!

Great!

What's the time? - We've got half an hour!

- We? You mean I have!

- We!

That's better!

Look at these muscles!

- But we can't go to Switzerland like this!

- You fool, we'll become elegant diplomats at the border!

- Look, a pub! Let's eat!

- I wonder how much this body needs to eat its fill...

You want to follow them in? - Of course! No time to waste!

- Goulash - three times! - Three times goulash.

- Guess what for rafters! - And you?

- A tall beer! - Are you deaf and dump?!

- We can do what we like now! We can even light a fag.

- Right you are! I'll have some Chesterfields...

- First the goulash!

What do we do for money?

- That's easy! As much as you like...

- A lot, I'm hungry!

- Here it says: "Money", see

"Shake little donkey!".

- What? Donkey?

Did three Indians stop here? - Or three Bishops?

- Only three moving-men.

- Donkey or no donkey, the main thing is we shake up the dough!

- Rytero xaperle bax!

- Silly Ass! Take it away! - Put it down!

- I won't have it, gentlemen!

Get that animal down!

- Hide it, chum!

- This is no fault of ours. - Quick, now's your chance!

- We just wanted to complain!

- We don't know who put it here! We want our goulash!

- You'll pay for that table! This is no stable!

- In the name of the law, take the donkey down!

- Change them into something! Into violins you like, but quick!

Where's the book? - What book?

- This one!

This is the end! - No, it's the beginning!

Suxo plexo muxo! - No! Leave off!

- They can't drive in this state! - That's against regulation!

I'll join the fire brigade.

Stop! Stop!

Rebeke plex! - Hey, it's you?!

- That was lucky! - At last!

- They were taking us to the slaughter...

- Quick! Only twelve minutes left.

Ninth formers will move

into the art room... - Shut the door, there's a draft!

...the others will remain in their classrooms

until further notice. Thank you.

- There. - There.

Here they are, inspector.

This could be Henry.

Look at these cheek-bones...! - Well...

- Don't take them away, we must write out a report!

- Someone is... As if someone has knocked...

- I have never seen such a wierd school.

- You're back again?

- That's her!

- So it's you!

You say these rabbits

are all teachers? - And our Dad!

- Is that so? - You'll see!

Here it is.

Vexopuro nobleti hemenex!

Good afternoon.

- Excuse me... Hello!

I've never been

in this situation. - Damn! Lessons have already started!

And we are here...

- Look at you... - Where is the headmaster?

You hit me with a cleaver!

- I'd never dare, Sir!

- Silence! You were going to serve me with cream sauce!

And cranberries.

You're pulling our legs, Miss Kudlackova!

- It's not working. - Here they are!

- Henry!

- Saxanna! You did it!

- Yes, but I disappear in five minutes.

- You want to go back? - Where would we find an old hag's ear?

- Hag's Ear?

- But I have that in my botany collection!

- Botany? An ear?

- Salvia Pratensis. Also called Hag's Ear.

That's the old name, used mostly in the Giant Mountains.

- Please get some, quickly! We must make a brew.

We won't make it in time. - We must!

- That's right! We're not giving you up! Where's the headmaster?

- Sage!

As a rabbit I would have preferred. -

- Again, really...!

- This is the end. One and a half minutes left.

- What can we do... I must at least see those boys.

Zarache beteme valo ketax!

- Of course! You three again!

- Stay here, we want a word with you!

- Form 9 A - the pick of the bunch! - You are looking a sight!

- I apologize.

I apologize. I apologize to all of you.

They have just crossed me off the menu. Sorry, I was delayed.

I was doing my best. My asthma...

Excuse me.

- Sage. Hag's Ear! - Yes.

- Drink it up!

- Can you open it!

Here. - Your teeth!

Rudexe ux!

- Thank you.

Catch him! - Catch Rousek!

- So it was all in vain!

- Do you think so?

- Kudlackova! - Saxanna!

- Saxanna!

Saxanna! Try and land on your toes! - Call an ambulance!

- Box lox hox!

- A squatting valut! - Please, be careful!

- Give me a drop! I want to stay too.

Oh no, our boss!

- Give me that!

If I could I'd burn you alive!

- But that's just what you can't now!

Brave girl! - So you did manage it in time!

- Bravo, Saxanna. - Dear colleague...

- Welcome amongst the humans!

As our new pupil

and new caretaker! - Thank you.

And here's your application

to study at our school.

You will fill it out later. - Shut the door, there's a draft!

- Saxanna! - Saxanna!

- Saxanna! This is the end! - Saxanna!

Saxanna,

cannot beat a single rose...

Saxanna the magic in a single rose.

Saxanna Your great tomes bound in leather

all your magic spells together.

Saxanna cannot beat a single rose...

Saxanna the magic in a single rose.

Think and stoped a pace and then look for the place

that melt must the snows, last winter's snow's.

There it will say how to change night into day how to change"no"into"yes",

tears and bad dreams into happiness. The end

Saxanna Your great tomes bound in leather

all your magic spells together.

Saxanna cannot beat a single rose...

Saxanna the magic in a single rose.