Original subtitles

Come on, Chequito! You can do it! Run!

Do it like I taught you!

Come on, Chequito, you can do it!

Yes, my love! Yes!

To the right, Chequito!

He'll jump to the right!

Goal! Well done!

I love you!

Congratulations, champ! We're going to the final!

What is it? Aren't you excited?

Imagine, you and me together in Guadalajara.

Oh, don't tell me you're full of yourself because you scored.

No, it's not that, Mom.

So?

I'd like my father to go and see me in the finals.

Oh, honey.

I don't know, but maybe if my dad knew

that we might be champions, he'd like to meet me.

And we could even invite him to...

What if we invite your Uncle Chuma?

You know he loves you so much. Maybe he'd like to come.

Yes, I love him, too,

but it wouldn't be the same.

Mom, what do you think my dad is doing now?

What do you say? Did you like how I made you fly?

I think you still have to practice that move.

Yes, I'll practice it more.

It was easier without violence, right?

You just had to pay what you owe.

Yes, I'll transfer the money right now.

A transfer. Listen, Gavilán, don't try to be funny.

And don't take this the wrong way,

but paying with Bitcoin

is not something Yuca or his brother will like.

You remember Yuca, don't you, Gavi?

- Who? - Did you forget already?

The one who lent you the money to open this gym

and buy that sign you just went under.

The one with the Veracruz accent?

What do you mean, Veracruz?

Now for being disrespectful,

and not knowing about geography,

you have to pay in local currency, right?

Yes. Just give me a chance. The money is in there.

No more.

By the way, kids,

if this jackass says he's a professional wrestler,

or coach or instructor,

then we are Maluma and Bad Bunny.

And if he owes you anything, come and get your tuition money,

and ask him for a scholarship. Got it?

- Yes. - Got it?

- Yes! - Good job.

Should we take his mask off?

Yes, disenmas... Demask...

Take it off, damn it!

No! No! No!

Hey, what if that wasn't Gavilán?

What do you mean?

He was wearing a mask. It could have been anyone.

Maybe that's why he couldn't do the chokehold.

But he paid anyway.

So maybe it was a Gavilán, but not the Gavilán we know.

Like a copycat?

What worries me is that this guy

might be putting those kids at risk of injury.

That's not wrestling.

Wrestling isn't easy, even if it just looks like a show.

- Mm-hmm. - Mr. Checo, Mr. Chuma!

It's a pleasure to welcome you here.

What's up, Dueñas? How are you?

Fine, fine.

I'm honored by your presence.

I wanted to see if you needed anything,

if you had any complaints. Are you taken well care of?

Or do you need anything?

Actually, we do,

since you mentioned it, right?

We want to tell you that...

We'll miss you a shit load, Dueñas!

That's right, Dueñas.

Relax, Dueñas, we're just fooling around.

And since

today is your last payday, we wanted to bring you

a little something.

- Okay, thank you. - Of course...

You shouldn't have bothered.

This is an image of the Holy Trinity

that Chequis and I always give to good payers.

It's very pretty, thank you.

No, give thanks to Yuca, he's the one who helped you.

- Yes. - That's what money is for.

Right.

Otherwise, what is it for?

But you brought the envelope, right?

Yes, yes. I got it. Look, here it is. It's all there.

Yes.

You see, Dueñas?

- That's nice. - Indeed it is.

I'm telling you, Chuma, this is a nice place.

Feel free to come whenever you want.

You're always welcome here.

We'll give you what you need.

- Congrats. - The pasta is very good.

Get the boys another drink, please!

Beer! Beer, right? Beer.

Thanks, Dueñas.

This dude really is scared of the Yuca.

He should be, he's a psycho.

He wears explosives around his foot.

Chuma, come on!

He doesn't wear explosives around his false leg.

Those are just stories he tells.

So I'm a liar?

I'll give you a story to shove up your ass,

you pair of useless fools.

Idiots!

You jackass sons of bitches!

Yuca...

Mr. Yuca to you! Pansies!

You know nothing!

Yes.

Here you go, boss.

So?

Has that shit-eating Dueñas finished paying us or what?

- Yes, boss. - Including interest, boss.

And what about the wrestler?

- He did, too. - Both of them.

- This is from Dueñas. - Okay.

This from the soap opera actor.

The surgeon.

The congressman.

- The owners of the nursing home. - And...

You know who.

So, in order for you

to stop gossiping, let me tell you

that if this piece of crap

leaves my side for 40 seconds,

this Adonis from Varadero... Oh, man.

Everything explodes, my child!

No, boss. No, we don't...

We don't doubt your word.

No, we were just making conversation.

You're a couple of idiots!

You cowards!

I'll see who dares try and make a fool out of me.

No, I mean, we were just curious, right?

You were curious?

Well, now you know this is not just some "story."

This is designed

to cover a range of...

Oh, no! Stop that!

This thing won't stop.

It's okay! There... There.

As I was saying,

if this doesn't feel my pulse

for more than 40 seconds...

No! No!

No!

Chuma...

Let's go.

Ow!

Ah, fuck...

Let's open it. Get a screwdriver.

Damn it.

We only have knives.

Bring one!

A knife and some bread to eat and calm down.

Nice.

With all this money we could go to the United States.

We could open a seafood bar.

Can you imagine a seafood bar in Miami?

What seafood bar? What Miami?

We have just been reborn.

You just escaped death. It was a miracle.

And you're thinking about a seafood bar?

Listen, Chuma,

who was the one talking about needing a change?

Why continue kicking people's asses

if we can be restaurant owners?

A seafood bar in New York. There aren't any.

Checo, this is bigger than seafood,

bigger than New York, than you and me.

It's a sign from the universe, a sign from God.

Checo, this is a divine sign.

Divine is all the money we have in here.

Seriously, maybe this is a sign to turn our lives around

and use this ill-gotten money

to do good instead of...

Instead of what? Giving it back to Yuca's brother?

No, no, Chuma.

No, no. He's crazy. We shouldn't mess with him.

Exactly. Exactly. We should do nothing.

There's nothing left of Yuca,

nothing of Dueñas, the restaurant, nothing!

It's a miracle we're even alive!

You, me, and their money.

Chuma, listen, these briefcases are high tech.

They are indestructible.

Guanta will start looking for it soon.

That's why we should go away. Let's go to Europe.

I've got it! I know what we'll do.

We'll tell him that Yuca ran away with his money.

Remember he hates him. Hates him with a passion!

Checo! I don't want to work for Guanta.

At least Yuca treated us well, more or less.

Did he? He was a jerk.

And Guanta is worse. That's why we should leave.

There are no seafood bars in Europe.

Chequis, what other sign do you need to change?

Come on, man. Is everything a sign for you?

Give it a rest.

Do you want us to ask for a sign right now?

God, send us a sign to see what we should do...

There it is. You asked for it.

You asked for it.

Chumis, I think so.

We have to go and give thanks.

What are you doing?

I want to see who he is.

Francisco Mota Rodriguez. Former IT engineer

of Velazquez Meds.

I'm in debt with six banks,

and they just fired me!

I need a miracle.

Listen, hey, calm down. Wow!

Somebody had one too many.

And to make things worse, my wife won't stop calling.

She must be worried, bro.

Let's see.

Wow! He has 20 missed calls.

She's worried.

It's my wife and the people from the bank.

To top it off, even though I begged,

my boss wouldn't give me another chance.

Your wife is very intense, she won't stop calling.

What should I do?

Let's see.

Hello?

You finally pick up, Paco! Where are you?

Swear to me that you didn't drink again.

Listen, madam, I'm going to ask you a favor.

Calm down, okay?

I won't calm down. And who the hell are you anyway?

Take it.

- What? - Take it.

Okay.

Hello?

Who is this?

I'm Francisco's boss.

So you're the soulless man who laid him off?

Aren't you ashamed to leave a model father of two unemployed

after he worked 15 years for you

and with school registration for the girls coming up?

With all due respect, you're wrong.

We didn't fire him.

- You didn't? - Hmm?

No?

No, he's working overtime

for the super mega project.

The super mega project? So why doesn't he pick up?

Because of the super mega project.

- It's due before 9:00... - Mm-hmm.

And we don't want him to waste precious work time...

Okay.

Being a lawyer.

- Engineer. - He's an engineer.

And an architect

of his own destiny.

He's a guide, a leader, a light in the way, infallible.

- Stop, stop. - Irreplaceable.

Okay.

You have a model husband.

Tell him to call me when he's done.

Goodbye.

Well done.

Listen,

do you want your job back?

That would be a miracle.

Chuma, let's give him a miracle.

First, we have to sober him up,

then we take him home,

and we'll do the miracle tomorrow.

- Come in, Mr. Engineer. - Hello.

Hello.

Who let these people...

Calm down. Take care of the engineer.

- Get him a coffee or something. - Yes.

Help me.

Good afternoon.

We represent Mr. Mota.

Is this about that jerk getting fired?

The legal department is located on the first floor.

Go. But I'll warn you,

I usually wipe my ass with their legal nonsense.

First, they're not nonsense.

Second, we're not here for you to wipe anything, okay?

We're... Let's say we're his friends.

We kindly come to ask you

to reintegrate him into the company.

That's all.

You really made me laugh.

Mommy didn't give you folic acid as babies, right?

You look like someone who fell out of their crib.

Not! Let me down! Do it for your mothers!

Please! Please!

Do you want to be let down slowly or fast?

Slowly! Slowly, slowly, please.

But you have to give the engineer his job back.

Yes. I will! I'm afraid of heights!

You'll hire him

and give him a raise.

I swear, with a raise.

- And a bonus. - Of course!

And medical insurance.

Yes, all the insurances.

And paid vacations for his family in Acapulco.

Acapulco, Bora-Bora, or Hawaii, but please!

I'll give him my position or make him a partner.

Mommy!

Look how nice it is to help people

instead of being criminals.

Well, we acted like criminals with Mr. Mota's boss.

Well, yes,

but we also gave sense to his life as an employer.

Look, those gestures of kindness and humility,

he didn't have them when he let us in.

He didn't let us in, we barged in.

Well...

He must be telling him

to take his wife out for dinner at the Ventura

so that he can tell her about his new position.

It's all covered, I promise.

So that you can go and revive your passion.

Yes, sir.

How romantic! And you say that miracles don't exist.

What is that? It's a miracle.

A miracle is what we need. What are we going tell Guli?

I know!

Did they answer?

No, boss.

Anything been located?

No, the police say they haven't found any bodies.

Apparently the explosion was caused by a gas leak.

But don't worry, boss. Yuca must be somewhere.

Alive and kicking.

I meant his briefcase, you animal!

He had all the money from his clients, half of mine

and probably my mother's.

Do you know who he saw last?

He always met last with Checo and Chuma.

Then keep on calling them until they pick up, you chimp!

Insist!

Hi, Guli.

Chuma! What's up? How are you? Everything okay?

Well, not so much, Guli.

The world's come crashing down on us.

- What happened? - Well, you know...

You know how Yuca loved to have lunch at Adesso?

We barely made it out alive.

Yeah, we were very worried about you.

I'm here with Guanta,

we're looking for his brother Yuca.

Is he all right?

I think he is because luckily he left right before.

He was able to leave before...

Before... Damn, sorry.

Sorry, it was just horrible.

Many people didn't even have dessert.

Easy, easy, just breathe. Breathe, Chuma.

What can I say?

Yuca never dies, right?

How is Checo?

He's still in intensive care.

He hit his head really bad. I think

he'll be even more stupid than before.

What hospital are you at?

Huh? Uh, at the... Here at the...

We're in the infectiology ward

in Ecatepec, in case you want to come.

No, no! Let him recover at his own pace.

If we need anything we'll call or we'll text you.

Yes, yes. I'll let you know.

Please say hi to Guanta.

I will.

Thank you.

Fucking Chuma. From this to Hollywood.

You could rule the world.

How about that?

Yes.

Let's see. Miss, here you go.

What's that for?

Tell the manager this is for the equipment rental.

Thank you.

We don't like to take advantage.

Hey...

See you!

Goodbye!

Excuse us.

- Excuse us. - Goodbye.

Sorry for everything.

All in a day's work.

Fucking Yuca.

He did the same after a hurricane in Varadero.

He had me looking for him

like an idiot all over the island.

But you'll see. You'll see when I find him.

Eli.

Chuma.

What's up?

What's all this?

Just some things Checo sent over.

Tell that fucking Checo to come and meet his son.

You know him, Eli.

Yeah, and I know you.

You just cover for that coward who hasn't come.

Don't start with that again.

Look, this is for the school tuition.

What?

Where did you get all this?

It's too much for the school.

For now, but what about later? Here.

No, we can manage by ourselves. You know it.

Yes, I know you can do it all yourself.

But nothing is too much for your kid. Keep it.

Uncle Chuma!

- Uncle Chuma! - Hey! How are you, champ?

- Good! - Yeah?

Did you see my dad?

Yes, of course I did. He says hi.

And look. He sent you this...

- Wow! - It's signed by...

- It's signed by... Uncle Chuma. - Oh.

So my dad knows I'm going to the finals in Guadalajara?

We made it to the finals.

In Guadalajara?

Yes! We can go with our parents and it's fully paid!

Well done!

Hey, maybe if he finds that out,

he'll want to meet me, right?

Maybe. Yeah, could be. I'll tell him.

- Okay! - But remember, he works a lot

and he's very busy.

Yeah, but promise me that you'll tell him, okay?

We'll see. We'll see.

Honey, sit down and have your lunch.

- Yes, Mom. Yes. - I'll hold it for you.

- Uncle Chuma? - Hmm?

What's my dad like?

What is he...

He asks a lot of questions like you.

Let's eat and leave questions for later, okay?

- Okay. - I'll serve you.

So if anything comes up

- let me know. - Sure will.

- And so? - Nothing.

Yuca seems to have evaporated.

Chacas says he hasn't seen him in his apartment

and he hasn't seen the briefcase either.

Fucking Yuca.

All his clothes are in place, the luggage is empty

and even his teddy bear toothbrush is in the bathroom.

God willing it's okay.

Who? Yuca?

No! My money! You fool!

I won't hear anything. I'm not here. Go on.

Guanta, my love, it's Mommy.

Your brother is not picking up. What is the problem?

I read there was an explosion

at that place he likes to eat. Are you okay?

Take care please. There are many robberies.

Yuca, that asshole!

Let's run away with the money.

With all that money, we could open a seafood bar in Paris.

Imagine a Sinaloa-style seafood bar

in front of the Eiffel Tower.

What about helping people?

Are we really going to continue doing the same thing?

It wouldn't be the same thing.

We would be restaurant owners.

Imagine opening a restaurant chain

all over Europe. First one in Paris,

then London, then Japan.

Japan is not in Europe.

- It's not? - No. It's an island.

We'll open one there, too, hmm? Let's see.

Guli told me that Chiva Jiménez

opened a seafood bar in Amsterdam

and it was a success.

Chiva Jiménez didn't open a seafood bar in Amsterdam.

- He didn't? - No. What happened to him was...

What? Are you saying...

I'm saying, if he opened a seafood bar,

it was up there with Saint Peter.

I'm so stupid. I believed what Guli told me.

Well, it doesn't matter.

Well we will open one while we're alive.

- Before it's too late. - Check that out!

- What do you mean? - It's Guanta, man!

No shit. The gummies just gave me acid reflux.

That's because the chili candies are all expired.

Stop messing around. Hey!

- Watch out, dumbass! - Who are you calling a dumbass?

- Are you blind? - Leave it!

Let's go!

Give me your drink.

- Son of a bitch! - Sorry, man!

Hey.

We need a miracle. A sign or something.

Check that out!

- Again? - No! Check it out, Checo!

Run.

How many tickets?

Can't you see he's getting away? Hurry!

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Here. God bless you. Sir! You have to get in line.

Don't worry, no, don't pay. I'm paying for this lady

and everyone else in the line

up to the guy wearing the Arab scarf.

- So... - Here you go.

- Your change. - Keep it.

Your ticket.

Can I have a taste?

- Of course. - Thank you.

- Hope you like it. - Thank you.

- Enjoy. - Here's for the scare.

These sisters are serious!

They put some extra eggs in this!

It must be one of the barefoot nuns.

So what?

Can I have a taste?

Get in line.

At least take your ticket.

Oh, shit.

Chuma.

Come.

Take this.

God, forgive us.

Let's dance.

This way.

What do you want, Guliver? Can't you see I'm busy?

Boss,

there's a survivor from the incident at the restaurant.

Maybe he knows something about Yuca.

Where is he? Should we meet at the hospital?

No, no, no.

He is in a coma.

Don't fuck with me! Is that what you called me for?

I thought it would make you happy.

Stop thinking, and call me when he wakes up.

Fucking Guanta, nothing pleases him.

Fucking idiot.

Would you like some eggnog?

Come, sister.

These miracles don't just happen.

Why are you speaking like that?

I saw it in a movie.

Don't be ridiculous.

That too spicy for you?

Ah.

Wait till you see Guanta.

Did you see his Rottweiler face?

I think we should give Guanta his money back.

Well, I don't think that will be possible.

Why not? Why?

Because...

Because what?

Don't tell me you spent your share!

Fucking Chuma, you don't know anything about saving.

Can you tell me what you did with your share?

Don't scare me.

Don't tell me you donated it to the Red Cross.

Kids with cancer?

- Dog rescuers? - No.

Did you give it to the doggie rescuers?

- No, no, no. - Chuma.

Hey! Come here!

Come here, young lady! Stop her!

Look! Our next mission! Run!

Come back! My dress!

Come back, girl!

Come here.

Stop them. Stop them.

Come here.

Give me the dress...

The dress, the dress!

- What's wrong with you? - Okay, okay.

Calm down.

Have you not heard

"Thou shall not quarrel in the house of the Lord"?

What? She stole the dress!

Yes, my son, but that doesn't give you the right

to hit a girl. What's your name, child?

- Alma. - Alma?

And have you not heard about the fifth commandment?

Isn't it the seventh?

Yeah, whatever. It is not worthy of a young lady

to be stealing quinceañera dresses in this way.

What is the cost of the dress?

Are you buying it? I'm not selling it to her.

You're not? Huh?

- Fifteen thousand. - Are you a student?

- Yes? - What's the student's discount?

Fifteen thousand.

And friend's discount?

Fifteen thousand!

Is that the least?

The least... The least.

Twelve thousand.

- Ah! - Twelve thousand.

That's more like it. You see, my son?

All about communication.

We're sorry for the inconveniences, okay.

Who needs to use violence? Right? Go.

So,

they closed the lab where my mom worked...

What does she do?

She is a geneticist.

What?

She works with DNA.

The point is, she's going to start working in another lab

and we ran out of money this month.

We'll lose the advance payment we made for the venue,

the DJ, the cake,

and even the catering.

When is your birthday?

On Sunday. You see? See what I mean?

Calm down.

What's your average grade in school? Just to know.

Nine point five.

- Oh, wow. - For being such a smart girl,

you shouldn't steal dresses with such glee.

That is a sin and it's not right. Hmm?

Well, yeah. But it's also not right to extort that man.

Yes, but we did it politely.

And we bore the expense for the dress. We did!

We paid for it.

It was a lesson to teach him some manners.

And now?

Now you must have faith, my child. Have faith.

Don't you believe in miracles?

No.

We will make you believe, right, sister?

At this very moment, we'll go and talk to your mother.

No! Are you going to rat me out?

Absolutely not. But you'll have to just go with it.

Sisters!

Let us help you, sister.

You two are so nice. Thanks a lot.

- You're welcome. - Come in, please.

Thank you.

If you help me, it's just those few

- if you would be so kind. - There's more. Of course.

Did you come to see someone?

Yes, we are here to see Almita.

On the first floor, she's Carito's daughter.

- Yes, yes. - Exactly.

And what order do you belong to?

- Of... Of... - Of Sacred Socorro...

Of the Perpetual Shoeless Heart.

- Divine. - Yes.

Oh.

Sister, which floor do you live on?

Right on the fifth floor.

On the fifth floor.

Honestly, God sent you to me.

Excuse me, there is no elevator?

No, we don't have that here.

I make little bags for orphans.

They live four blocks away, more or less.

I make them bags, knit pretty things.

Why don't we help you with those small bags

and not with these big bags?

So clever.

It's God's work, he sent you to me.

They are...

They are a bit heavy, right?

Sister, you stepped on my habit.

- Let's see. - Help me.

May God pay you back for this! May God pay you back!

And who will pay for our hernia surgery?

That woman bought the whole supermarket!

Sister, thou shalt not complain, it was a good deed.

I wish it were only one good deed, sister,

but there's a good deed on every corner!

Let's not go overboard!

Sister, you have not understood one bit.

Life... Life is about sacrifice.

Why are we still speaking like nuns?

I don't want to lose the habit.

Chuma, don't be ridiculous.

I'm coming.

Acting like a nun all day is tiring.

Are we waiting for another divine sign or what?

- Hi. - How are you?

Is your name

Carolina Cárdenas Fragoso?

Yes.

Then you are Almita's mother?

Yes, why? Did she do something wrong?

No, it's just that Alma

won a prize awarded by the Sacred Heart of the...

- Socorro... - Perpetual Heart.

We give it every year to girls with good grades

and good behavior,

so that she can celebrate her quinceañera mass and party.

What an incredible practical joke! Are you filming this?

No. It's not a joke.

- This is Sister... Chescuina. - Mm-hmm.

And I am Sister...

- Sister Chumarra. - Chumarra, that's right.

Could you let us in?

Yes, please. Come in.

Did you say good behavior?

No, I said Chumarra.

Please.

Thanks. Well, regarding good behavior,

the truth is that in our order we're quite open minded.

The truth is that we focus

on good grades and that they're good girls.

Like Almita, of course.

Oh, that's great. Um... The thing is, we didn't...

We didn't sign up for any contest. We...

Well, hold on a second. Alma!

What?

Did you sign up

to any raffle or contest?

With some strange nuns?

Yes!

Are you the quinceañera nuns?

Fuck yes!

I mean, of course we are, dear.

We are the quinceañera contest nuns.

Your prize includes a mass,

a venue for the party, catering for 90 guests, a cake, a dress,

dance partners, and if you want cadets,

we'll bring you the whole army.

Did you hear, Mom? I'll have my 15th birthday party!

It's a miracle!

But let's see.

Don't worry. We will cover all the expenses.

Yes. And I vow

that it shall be a ball to die for.

Thank you.

Thank you.

My love.

Okay.

- What a dramatic sister. - Yes.

Thank you.

You're beautiful!

- I love you! - I love you more!

I can't thank you enough for all this.

It's too much. Really.

Thank God and your daughter. She's adorable.

And she's a grade A student.

Yes. That's why she deserved her 15th birthday party.

Yes.

Although, her party won't last 15 years,

it's just one day.

Sister! Never mind her. Before she joined the order,

she wanted to be a comedian.

- Really? - Yes.

You have potential. You have talent and a spark.

And that's without drinking eggnog

- because if we do, we go wild! - Really?

- Would you dance and all? - No.

- Does your order allow it? - No.

Are you asking me to dance? I'd love to.

- But of course! - Yes, sister, yes.

My sister is old-fashioned, but I'd love to.

No, I'm telling you.

But yes! Let's go. Come, sister.

Oh, all right.

Come, sister. Show me your best moves.

Alma, so the guys disguised as nuns

paid for your party?

Yes. Aren't they cool?

Super cool! Do you know if they also give away first communions?

Yes, you just have to steal something first.

Do you know what the cake is made of?

Do you have a plate or a knife?

With pleasure. I'll bring it.

Thank you. A bigger knife would be better.

Of course.

- Is he asleep? - Yes.

He's exhausted from soccer practice.

Poor guy. I brought him cake.

Leave it there.

There won't be any left for him.

Little guy. Do you want me to carry him to his room?

Yes. Hang on, I'll help you.

Come on.

Let's go to bed. There we go. Let's go, come on.

- Oh, dear. - Come on.

Done! I'm so embarrassed, I'm sorry.

Oh, don't worry. Any tip is fine.

Shipping was not included.

I know. But we did it for Alma's happiness.

Yes, she was very happy.

She really enjoyed her party.

- She was so excited about it. - Yes.

- Honestly, yes. - She deserved it.

Yes.

I can see that you really trust her.

Yes, she's mature for her age.

She is, right?

Otherwise I wouldn't let her go out with her friends.

Sure.

You can go first because you're carrying more.

My God! This rhino is heavy!

It's a unicorn!

Well, it weighs as much as a rhino!

Go ahead because I'm stepping on my dress and I...

I'll lose my teeth.

Did he wake up?

No, he's sound asleep.

So now you cater for weddings?

- No, quinceañeras. - Ah.

You should've seen how nice it was.

The birthday girl and her mom were very happy.

I can imagine.

Maybe you can tell Checo to organize a party for his son.

- Well... - I mean, so that he meets him.

You know that Checo is complicated.

Complicated. Yes.

But he'll come.

One day, he'll come.

Hopefully.

Yeah, hopefully.

Would you like something to drink?

Look...

While you think about it,

there's the tequila and the glasses.

Let's see, sister. I'm very curious.

How do sweet nuns like you

get so much money to finance a party like this?

That's not relevant, sister.

It's not important.

What matters is that the miracle happened

and that God is great.

- Yes. - I see.

Would you like some eggnog?

Oh, I'd love to,

but I have to go. They could close the convent.

How are they going to close the convent?

You don't know that! They can do it

and then I'd have to jump over the back fence.

Have some eggnog!

Holy God, help me. I am a nun, I am a nun.

Can I come in?

Yes.

Well, cheers.

Cheers.

I know the one you have in your convent is better,

- but... - Let's try it.

- No? - Let's try it.

Let's see.

- Cheers. - Tell me.

Oh!

- It's good! - Is it?

Great! That's great.

Yes.

Are you trembling?

Well, maybe a little. I'm a bit nervous, so yes.

No... It's an earthquake.

Oh, my God. Calm down.

Calm down. There.

Is it stopping?

It's stopping. Okay.

Did you feel that?

Yes. I'll go get Chequito.

No, wait. I think it's over.

- It is, right? - Yes.

It wasn't too bad.

Fortunately.

Yes, but it was scary.

Yes, it was.

You know what? I left the puppy all alone.

Um... I should go.

- Are you sure? - Yes.

But thank you.

But...

- Okay. - Sorry. Excuse me.

- Relax. - But the alarm didn't go off.

It's for the best, it just scares you. Calm down.

- I have to check on Alma. - Yes.

Is it over?

Yes, just relax.

Alma? Honey.

Hi, Mom, are you okay?

Yes, and you?

Yes, it wasn't bad. Are you alone?

No, I'm with Sister Chescuina.

We just finished bringing your presents up.

Tell her I say hi.

Let me know when you're coming back.

Yes, I will. Kisses.

I love you.

That was scary.

She's fine, right?

Yes, perfect. She says hi.

Oh, thank you. Well...

I should go. I would love to stay longer,

but my sisters are old

and they might be very worried.

I'd better go and check on them.

Nothing we can do about it.

Well...

I hope next time we meet,

you teach me how to make eggnog.

Sure. You just need to beat the eggs and that's it.

Really?

Yeah, it's all about the beating.

- Beating? - Yes.

Perhaps next time we meet,

you won't be in this nun disguise, huh?

Excuse me.

What's up?

Damn!

Damn, what?

I think Caro likes me.

No way, Checo.

You're a fucking nun.

I'm serious, Chuma.

Something happened between us.

Didn't you say we have to believe in miracles?

But real ones, man.

Chumita...

I think I'm falling in love.

Again?

No, no, it's different this time.

Carito has something special.

And Alma is a great girl.

Maybe I'm finding my maternal instinct.

Or paternal instinct.

You're crazy.

What?

You're imagining yourself with a new family

when you already have a son you've abandoned?

Are you starting with that again, Chuma?

That Elisa has my son?

No, Chuma. This is not gossip.

It's real. This is love, I'm sure of it.

And you know what?

I'm inviting Caro out for dinner.

Who? You or Sister Chescuina?

Wait...

- I'm coming! - Wait, hold on.

Wait.

Hide. Hurry up.

I'm coming!

Coming!

What's up, Guli?

What's up?

Come in, Guli.

So, feeling better, right?

Yes, why?

They took the orthopedic collar off fast.

Oh, yes, it was just

a preventive immobilization, precautionary to...

To discard any

- cervical injury... Skull, then. - Oh...

Know anything about Yuca?

Only that he's missing.

Are you sure?

Sure! Otherwise we would've let you know.

Why? Do you think he fled with your money?

Guanta says he already did it once.

That he faked his death in a hurricane.

Fucking Yuca! A hurricane.

Which hurricane?

A terrible one. I don't remember the name.

Annie?

No. It had an "S".

- Sally. - No.

- Maybe it was a tsunami. - Yes! Sashimi.

- Oh, yes. - Yes, yes.

Enough talk already.

What about Checo? How is he?

Bad, Guli. Bad.

He's slow, disoriented.

- Uh-huh. - Stupider than before.

He wasn't very smart to begin with.

Yeah.

And he has this thing... You know, what is it called?

PTSD. Very weird.

But weird, like it's weird, or like he's a weirdo?

Strange.

That's worse because...

Strange how, Chumita? Strange how?

Hmm?

I don't think it's strange

that the Lord has shed his light on me.

Right, dear Guliver?

Yes, Checo, but...

Sister Chescuina to you, Guliver.

Sure, but...

But what? Huh? But what, Guli?

What are you trying to say?

That just because I'm a bride of our Lord Jesus Christ,

that I can't work, that I can't collect as usual?

Yes, Checo, but...

Sister Chescuina, you son of a bitch!

Forgive me, Lord.

Sister Chescuina, you little bastard. Or what?

Are you going to start with that discrimination bullshit?

With your transcatholiphobic nonsense?

No, sir. Mm, mm. Here,

we don't discriminate based on sex,

race, gender

or sexual preference, political affiliations,

zodiac signs or soccer teams. Understand?

And if you don't like it,

you can tell fucking Guanta that...

That if you don't accept him as he is,

you'll have to find someone else to collect from debtors,

those capitalists, patriarchs and defectors,

and I don't know what else.

He's worse than we thought.

Yes, he is! Because nuns do not offend like that

especially not in that manner.

Hey, asshole!

You're in my spot! Move!

But the habit is imposing.

It's not a bad idea to send him dressed as a nun.

I don't know. I hate nuns.

But this one is different.

It's as if he was taken from a horror movie.

Your debtors will shit themselves when they see him.

Move! I'm in a hurry!

Have you heard anything from Yuca?

- Nothing. - My mother keeps calling.

I don't know what else I can tell her if it doesn't show up.

- Yuca? - No! The briefcase, you idiot!

I told her I'd send her money for her birthday.

We'll find it, you'll see.

Are you stupid?

You're in the way there, too!

Did I ever tell you Yuca and I were sent to a religious school

for three years when we arrived from Cuba?

That's worse than military headquarters.

Worse. But we couldn't stand it after three months.

We ran away.

Yuca stayed in Veracruz because it reminded him of Cuba.

I came to the city and became a Chilango.

Sure did!

You're a Chilango, for sure.

- Sister Chescuina! - You asshole!

Fucking Chuma.

Did you see Guli's face when he saw me dressed like a nun?

He froze.

Just like I did now.

More or less.

Acting like a nun worked for now,

but Guanta won't fall for it.

We can tell him I hit my head again

and I lost my memory, so I don't remember anything.

No?

Hey. Take a shower and clean up because we're going out.

Where are we going?

I mean, waiting for God to send us a sign

to see who we can help is a pain in the ass.

Don't fucking swear in the house of the Lord.

You did it, too.

What?

We've been here for a while and I don't see anything.

Stop. Shh. Listen.

If you say my name, I cease to exist. What am I?

What?

Silence.

Oh.

- Come on. - Take it easy, Checo. Easy.

I beg you, mother Virgin. Please.

Come.

Let's see. Open it.

"Dear holy mother of Jesus.

"My name is Martha. I'm 45 years old,

"and for a long time, my husband and I

"have asked God to bless us with a child."

"So far our prayers have gone unanswered."

"My husband works a lot and without that blessing,

"I feel he's lost that joy I knew in him when we fell in love.

"I hope you can help me,

"though it feels impossible at my age.

"It would bring such joy to our home and our world.

"Yours faithfully, Martha Colmenares."

That's a tough miracle, right?

We're talking about miracles, not enchiladas.

You thought it would be easy?

So? Should we donate our sperm?

Should we adopt a child? What should we do, Chuma?

What?

I've got it!

- What? - It's crystal clear.

Shut up.

In order to preserve the fertility of our patient

after an endometriosis procedure,

we must consider four very important elements.

First, that our staff

do not reek of alcohol.

Second, review the peritoneal phenotype

and rule out the presence of adenomyosis.

Because the endometrium border of the uterus architecture

changes during the cycle.

Now, let's watch the video of our first surgery.

Please.

There you are! You sons of bitches!

I'll be right back. I'll be right back.

I've already paid you every last cent and with interest!

Easy, doc.

You really can't take a joke.

It was for you to remember old times.

Do you want money? How much?

Look, doc, we've changed.

We're different now.

That's right. We're following a divine mission.

Divine is what I did for you. And for your friends.

Easy, doc. They were your friends, too.

You even married one.

Weren't we even

when I cured that pain in your balls?

Yes, but this is for a good cause.

Well, my balls were also a good cause.

But this is different.

Look, we'll even pay. Look.

Here. Take it.

Go on, take it. Go on.

What do you need?

- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.

Look, that's her.

Yes, yes. Go.

Go.

Sorry.

Oh, no!

Let's see. Oh, dear.

Please forgive me.

I didn't see you going out.

Don't worry, madam. Are you okay?

Yes, but I don't know how bad I hit your ambulance.

Don't worry, it's nothing. How do you feel?

Um, I feel all right.

If you want, we can call my insurance company.

It's not a problem.

You don't look well. I think you're in shock.

- Mm-hmm. - In shock?

No.

Calm down.

It's clear that you are in denial.

She should get a checkup, right?

Yes, colleague.

Listen, madam, sometimes these accidents

can cause brain damage.

- Yes. - Brain damage?

But it was just a small incident.

No, there is no such thing as a small incident.

Do you know how many people have died

- because of a small incident? - No.

Thousands. Millions. Thousands of millions.

We'd better check if you have any trauma.

Here in the ambulance?

Doctor Camacho here is an old colleague we trust.

He'll be able to give you a checkup.

Nice to meet you.

Not only is he a general practitioner, he...

He's one of the best gynecologists in the country.

In the world.

And he's an expert in reproductive surgery.

That's right. Coincidentally, just today,

he's offering urban services.

Urban?

Urban?

Nice to meet you, Mrs...

Colmenares.

Nice to meet you, Mrs. Colmenares.

We'll ask you some questions

and then I'll run some tests

with nurse Tracy's help.

I've heard so much about you. I tried to make an appointment

but there was a one-year waiting list.

Yes, but we're here now. We are here.

Now, if my colleagues would allow me...

Yes, you're in good hands. Doctor, colleague.

Colleague, nurse. Doctor.

Goodbye.

Tell me, Mrs. Colmenares...

Did you see how her eyes lit up?

Especially when she saw the doctor.

It was a great moment.

I hope the doctor can give her a miracle.

We already gave her a miracle by getting her an appointment.

You see, Checo?

What?

There are so many people who want kids but can't have them,

and you have yours and don't care.

What's your thing with Elisa? Did she ask you for money again?

No.

Why doesn't she call to ask me?

You know why, right? Because he's not my son.

Yeah, and she knows it.

- And everyone knows it. - Hm.

But since you're mister sensitive...

Do you want to know the truth?

Tell me.

I'm sterile. I can't have kids, Chuma.

I'm like sugar substitute.

I make things sweet but won't make you fat.

Why?

Do you remember that time

when we wanted to sell sperm to Doctor Camacho?

Yeah.

It turned out that

with the number of times life has knocked me around...

I was six, I remember.

There was another time when I was playing soccer.

I was the goalkeeper.

Suddenly the ball hit me right in the balls.

Then in baseball, I was the catcher

and a boy hit me with the bat.

Then at school...

Did you know...

One day I went to a bar

and I owed some money to the owner.

And then Yuca.

Fuck!

Then Elisa.

I practically had a vasectomy after so many punches.

Chuma, listen.

The possibility of me having a son is one in a million.

That's it, Checo. Precisely.

That one in a million possibility

is called a miracle.

Come on, man. So everything is a miracle to you?

Come on!

Elisa broke my heart.

Yes! She cheated on me

and now she wants to fool you, too.

Stop it, Checo. Stop.

What position does your son play?

And he's a great player.

He's even going to Guadalajara for the finals.

He'll make the team champions.

And you know who he wants to share that with?

With his dad, Checo.

All the kids' fathers are going, but his...

Where is he?

Chuma, don't fuck with me.

How long have you been seeing them?

What does that have to do with this?

That's not cool! It's not cool!

Not cool? Let me explain, Checo!

Wait! Checo!

Checo... Mr. Checo.

- Carolina! - Sister Chescuina!

You won't let it go.

- Go ahead. - Well, the thing is,

I don't even know what to call you.

I was already confused with mother and sister, and now?

Just call me Checo.

All right, Checo. Checo is good.

Yes. Listen, I owe you an apology, Carito.

Honestly, it was all for a noble cause.

And you're apologizing?

I just feel grateful for both of you.

Thank you for everything you did for Alma and for me.

No, thank Sister Chescuina. Isn't she great?

She's wonderful!

Would you like some wine?

- Please. - Let's see.

It's very good.

Yeah? We can make a toast to Sister Chescuina.

To Sister Chescuina, to Alma and to you, Carito.

Huh? Cheers.

Well, between us...

Yes?

You looked very good in that nun outfit.

Did you know all along?

- Me? - Mm-hmm.

Everyone!

What?

I mean, did you really think we believed it?

No, we were just going along with it.

- I thought... - In order to not kill the magic.

And not to ruin your illusion.

The truth is that it was fun to play a nun.

I don't know, can I tell you something?

When people saw us, they were kinder,

nicer, I don't know.

Ever since I dressed like a nun, I have good habits.

Of course.

Yeah.

Yes.

And... Apart from

dressing like a nun, what do you do?

Uh... Me? What do I do?

Let's say I'm a debt collector, okay?

I manage client accounts that have delayed payments.

I'm a collection executive.

Yes, but that was before.

Now I want to open a restaurant. I'm thinking about opening

a seafood restaurant in Australia.

- In Australia? - Yes.

- Sinaloa style? - Exactly.

Wouldn't it be great?

- What a sexy business! - Yeah? Yes.

Good for you!

Yeah.

What about me?

What am I good for?

I can imagine many things.

But I wanted to...

I wanted to ask you a favor, Carito, if I may.

But you don't have to be so formal.

Sure. I wanted to ask you a favor,

if you can.

As long as you don't ask me to dress like a priest,

everything's fine.

Alma told me that you...

That you worked for a lab. That you're a...

- Geneticist. - Right.

- Right? - Yes.

Okay.

Did something happen? Are you okay?

Do you really want to know?

Sure!

All right.

How do I say this?

What's up? Good evening!

Hello! Chequito is at soccer practice.

I know, but I wanted to pay you a visit

and bring you these things Checo sends.

What's all this? You're going to spoil him.

No! On the contrary.

You have to take advantage now while you can.

How long are you going to do this?

Doing what?

The presents, the tuition, the money, the day trips.

We both know Checo didn't send anything.

Chuma, look me in the eyes.

Lie to me and tell me that you didn't buy all this!

Chuma, what's going on?

Nothing. It's just that...

There's something I've always wanted to ask you,

but I don't know how.

What is it?

That's the thing. I don't know how you'll take it.

Just tell me.

I should, right? Okay, listen...

What I've always wanted to ask you...

- Uh-huh. - Is...

What?

What is it, Chuma?

Wait! It's so...

- What? - Simple.

- Uh-huh. - I've always wanted to ask...

Mm-hmm?

- If you are... - What?

- Sure... - Sure?

That Checo is Chequito's father.

I can't believe that you...

How dare you ask something like that?

- I didn't mean to offend you. - Well, you did.

- I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. - Yes, you're an idiot.

You're an imbecile.

I was stupid enough to think you were going to ask

- if I wanted to be your... - My wife?

What?

What was that for?

At least you could've hit the other cheek.

All right! All right!

Wait.

Wait, my jacket...

All right, Chacas. That's a lot of green.

It's as much as we make in a year, with interest.

Did he owe us that much?

No! Are you kidding me, boss?

No, it's just that...

He was being difficult

and I had to pressure him.

Gori?

Yes. Fucking Gori.

He didn't see it coming.

You beat Gori Mendoza by yourself?

Hell yeah!

What? Just because I'm skinny

and Gori is bulked up,

it doesn't mean I can't beat him.

Especially if I'm doing it for you, Guanta.

So you...

So... The truth is I killed Gori.

I brought everything he had in the safe box.

What do you think?

You see that, Guli? This bastard outdid himself.

He didn't only bring everything Gori had in his safe box

but he got rid of him!

You've got a pair of balls.

Just give the order. Just say "jump," and I'll ask how high.

Fucking Guli!

Where do you find these assholes?

First he kills our best client!

And then he exposes us to the police!

I'm sorry, Guanta.

Sorry? With Yuca missing and now this,

my mom is gonna kill me!

You don't go to college to be a dumbass!

I thought he'd be useful.

Don't think so much!

- Yes, okay. - Listen to me!

Don't even think about bringing another idiot like this again,

because you've been warned.

Yes, Guanta. Okay. Easy now.

Oh, by the way. They called from the hospital.

That idiot Dueñas woke up from his coma.

- Lady and gentleman. - Thank you.

Thank you.

You can close up now.

- What time does the movie start? - At 6:15, minus the previews.

I'm locking the gate. Do you have the key?

Yes, I've got it. Hurry up, we're gonna be late.

- Let's go. - Let's hurry.

Hurry, hurry. I'm so excited, my love!

STOP! AUTHORIZED DINOS ONLY

- Thank you very much. - You're welcome.

- Hi! - Hello.

Here it is.

I just needed a sample.

I didn't need the toothbrush, but it's fine.

I thought that the more evidence you had, the better.

As long as we know it's his, it's fine.

Yeah, I found it in his room.

I don't think his mom is into dinosaurs.

All right. Let's see what we can do.

Mm-hmm.

Ow!

Did that hurt?

Yes.

Well, if you want something, you have to pay for it.

- Bye. - Bye.

Dueñas!

My God! You look worse than Christ!

- Mm-hmm. - Look! Look who's here!

Huh?

What's this idiot's problem?

I don't know. He thinks he's seeing a ghost.

Oh! He's confusing you!

Oh, he thinks I'm my brother. It happens all the time.

No! I'm not that fucking Yuca!

God forbid!

No, no. He's not dead.

Listen. This is Guanta, Yuca's brother.

We came to see how you are, how they're treating you.

That's nice. God bless.

You don't know how happy that makes me.

- You understand him? - Loud and clear.

He talks like Yuca. Can't you understand him?

Fuck no! Ask him about the briefcase.

Ah! He says we should look at the security cameras.

Let's find them! Whatever it takes!

That's going to be difficult. They blew up.

Didn't you see?

Look for them unless you want to end up like Chacas.

See you later.

Call me if you need anything.

It was great to see you.

PATERNITY TEST

What will you do now?

Is this 100% certain? Because what if...

Checo, he's your son.

Oh, my...

Have you thought about how and when you'll tell him?

Hey... Cheer up.

Congratulations, sister!

Correction. Father.

Checo passes it to Chuma.

Chuma receives it. He tries to pass it to Fichas

but he prefers Checo!

He avoids one, another one. He has a chance to score.

He's on the corner... Checo! Checo! Checo!

Checo! Checo! Checo!

Goal!

Oh! Sorry. I have to take this.

Mom, do you want a Popsicle? Look! Popsicles!

Wait! Your ball!

What's up, doc?

Sir, Mrs. Martha Colmenares

is totally and absolutely fertile.

That's good news.

Then what about... Why...

Uncle! Want a Popsicle?

I think it is her husband who is infertile.

We have two options.

We can run a whole lot of studies,

or we can prescribe a dose

of testicortisol.

One pill a day for two weeks,

and I guarantee great results.

Let's go for the pill.

Let's go for the pill.

- Will you let Martha know? - I'll be glad to.

Hey! Tamarind for me!

But let me tell you, they sell this pill at any pharmacy.

It's over the counter.

Perfect! Thank you!

Then we're even, right?

Just one question.

Is that the same pill Checo took when his balls were in pain?

A pain in the balls is what you two are.

If I could, I would take three boxes a day

to go blind and never see you again in my life.

I get it, doc.

But was it the same medicine he took eight years ago?

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Why?

Is it possible that if he took too many,

he regained his fertility?

In purely physical matters,

nothing is impossible.

But let me tell you, after that many kicks in the balls,

it would be a miracle.

That's it!

That's the answer I wanted to hear.

So we're even?

We are. We'll keep in touch.

In touch my ass!

I hope I never see you again in my whole life!

Yes. Fucking doc!

All right, dude! Come on!

- Your Popsicle! - Chuma arrives. Passes it!

Passes it...

Yes?

This is Doctor Camacho.

Yes?

Do you have a minute?

Sure!

I have excellent news.

You do?

UNCLE CHUMA - MOM - ME

I'll look in the kitchen...

Why are you sighing, champ?

Mom, if someone wishes for something so, so much

with all his heart, will it come true?

Yes, love.

Why don't you add it to your drawing? We'll see what happens.

Mm-hmm.

Great. Now where did you leave your brush?

I don't know.

Boss, have some eggnog.

I'll get the glasses.

EGGNOG

Would you like some eggnog?

Fucking bastards!

Pick up, Checo.

101 WAYS TO PREPARE SEAFOOD

What is it?

Checo, don't hang up.

I'm sorry. I think I should have told you before,

but I think it was worth it.

The kid is...

He's great. He turned out great.

Tomorrow he'll go to Guadalajara to the finals.

To help his team become champions.

And he wants you there.

Who cares if he's not your son? Right?

What matters is that he believes it.

There would be nothing better in the world

than you and me performing

one last miracle for a great kid, Checo.

Hey, you bastard. So you wanted to fuck me over.

No! Wait! Wait! Let me explain.

Chuma. Chuma!

Shit. Damn it. Damn it.

Chuma!

Chuma.

Where is Chuma?

You're losing your strength, you orangutan.

Yeah. I promise I'll start that diet on Monday

and I'll start running.

You're up.

So you're sisters of the holy charity.

Someone's looking for you, Guli.

Can't you see we're busy? Who's looking for him?

It's Guli's wife.

Fuck, Guli. What is your wife doing here?

Maybe it's an emergency.

I silenced my phone. Maybe it's urgent.

An emergency, you pussy?

Fine, go and see what the witch wants.

Just wait, boss. Sorry.

That's why you have no stamina, you old ass.

She's got you whipped.

And you...

What the fuck did you do with my brother's briefcase?

Stop! Stop! Please!

Let Chuma go and I'll tell you where the briefcase is.

Let me stay. The boy needs you.

Sacrifice me, Guanta!

I wasn't planning on sacrificing anyone,

but now that you mention it.

Chuma, the kid doesn't even know me.

You have to live to look after him.

No. You're the last miracle.

Chequito is waiting for you.

His name is Checo?

Sergio, but everyone calls him Checo.

- Just like me. - Yes.

Chuma, he already has a dad, and it's you.

Well, I'll have to decide for you

so that you stop torturing me with your nonsense.

How many legs does a cat have?

- Guanta, don't. - Four.

One, two, three...

- And four! - Chuma!

- Chuma! Chumita. - Chequis! Checo! Chequito!

- Is he dead? - Yes. Yes.

Thank you.

Chuma, don't do this to me.

I'm worried. I've texted you and nothing.

I'm at the soccer field with Chequito waiting for you.

Call me please.

So Uncle Chuma isn't coming either?

Honey, maybe something came up.

Maybe he can catch the 8:00 bus.

No. Miracles don't exist.

Oh! Hello!

Is that my dad?

Bye. I love you.

I love you.

Take care of him.

I'm sorry for not picking up. Eli, this is Carolina.

I have Jamaica water for the road.

- Really? - Yes.

How did you know it's my favorite?

It's mine, too!

Come on, champ.

Chuma!

- What? - Come on!

Go.

Come on. Come on.

Translated by Gisela Xetris