Original subtitles

- [Vinnie] Do you know what I think? - [Erin] What?

I think I could make you really happy.

I'd love you, care for you.

I'd be a brilliant dad to Tyler, you know.

And everything would be amazing…

thirty-four percent of the time.

[siren wailing in distance]

- [camera shutter clicks] - [Pavarotti singing opera]

- [Pavarotti laughs] - [opera ends]

- [Sam] A brigadier? - [Vinnie] A brigadier.

There was an army colonel for a bit, but he's popped his clogs, now.

Then there's a mayor's wife, I drop off for her once a week.

Honestly, it is fucking harmless. Medicinal is what it is.

- This lady has got MS, here. - You're basically the local doctor, then.

I am Doctor Vinnie, PHDizzel.

PhD. What the fuck does that stand for, PhD?

I have no idea.

- I think the D is Doctor? - No, I don't think it is.

Wait till you see the smile on her face, now.

Honestly, watch how much joy I bring to our Linda. Linda!

- [Linda] It's open. - You all right, love?

Do I look all right? These seat sores are the bane of my life.

Will you get me cushion, slide it under?

- Yeah, can Sammy help? - Yeah. Hiya, love.

- Hi, Linda. - You the new girlfriend, then?

Shut up, gobshite. For God's sake.

Last girlfriend I had had bloody pigtails.

- Kinky. - He's a good one, this one, Sammy.

Keep hold of him. Heart of gold.

- Trying to get out of paying for the weed? - [Linda] Yeah.

Is that what it is? Come on, on three. On three. One, two, three.

- [horn beeps] - Wah!

- All right, one more. One, two, three. - [horn beeps]

Ash, help me.

What the hell have you got there?

- Never mind that, grab t'legs. - Legs?

- Dylan, can we use upstairs? - What for?

What the fuck does it look like? Avanti…

Honestly, not a clue.

Are you ready for this? Gentlemen, this is the latest, high-tech,

all-singing, all-dancing addition to my newly renovated erotic venue.

- Sex dungeon. - Not a fucking dungeon, Dylan.

It's underground, Tommo.

What I've got now Erin's got into bed with McCann.

Jesus fucking Christ. Anyway, I thought to myself,

Tommo, onwards and upwards. In with the new and so, on that note,

gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to…

["She's A Lady" playing]

- Alison. - Wow.

- She's f-f-f… - Fuckable?

- [stuttering] - Freaky?

- Life-like. - Well, that's the whole point, in't it?

100 percent thermoplastic. Built-in pulsating vagina,

- depth of seven inches. - Is that it, yeah?

Metal skeleton. Real feel, no funny smells.

Anal depth, 6.7 inches.

Oral depth, five inches.

It's deep, yeah. It's deep.

So my questions to you, lads is this.

Which one of you lucky boys is going to test drive her?

You are fucking kidding me.

- I wouldn't fit in that. - JJ.

Like I'm gonna fuck Alison behind Sugar's back.

Cardi. Cardi. Cardi.

- I will pay you. - Why don't you do it?

- She's not my type, is she? - What do you mean, not your type?

- Well, she's not human for a start. - That's the point though, isn't it?

If you must know, I've been having these fucking nightmares.

Freaky fucking dreams. Honestly, they have put me off my game.

Been waking up in a blind panic.

- What happens in the dreams? - I'm fast asleep, in me dream.

In me own bed.

Or at least it seems like my own bed.

Except for it feels like satin sheets, whereas…

I'd always plumb for Egyptian cotton.

And I become aware that I'm being caressed, softly, under the covers.

Like, not unpleasant, but the sensation starts to bring me round,

and I half open my eyes as I become more aware of my surroundings,

I pull back the covers to remind myself who I'm in bed with…

and it's only then I see…

Erin! [screams]

Erin?

Honestly, chaps, I am exhausted.

Shadow of me former self.

Drinking to knock myself out at night.

Have you tried wanking?

Of course I've fucking tried wanking, Ash.

It's my first point of call in any situation, in't it?

But you try getting it up when there's a threat of a fucking…

pupil-less Erin looming over you.

It's probably just anxiety, 'cause you guys fell out.

- Why don't you just make up? - Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe.

But I don't need her, do I, Cardi?

'Cause I have got this lovely lady, so, the question remains,

who is volunteering?

Mmm?

Did I or did I not say, pulsating vagina?

[Sam] Yeah, my dad was never really around.

My mum used to say that he was away working.

Turns out he was actually inside.

Either that or off on one of his idiot schemes.

Mmm.

- How old were you when your mum left? - Seven.

- That's so little. - Mmm.

Christ, I wonder sometimes whether that's half the reason

I am the way I am. I mean, me brain is just…

Christ, it's fucked. I have to take pills, you know.

Fucking shame.

You're bonny in the woods.

- Fuck off. - You do, you suit them.

- I like it. - Mmm.

I bet you missed it here when you were inside?

I did, yeah.

What were you actually in for?

Something to do with a burial?

It's a long story, that one.

I'm not going anywhere.

[sighs]

It's better I don't tell you about it, keep you safe.

This fella, Terence McCann, he is just a piece of work.

The guy Erin works for?

He's just not a nice guy. He fucking hurts people, you know.

And that is the last thing I want happening to you, so…

- Hi, Albie. - Hi.

It's only gonna be for an hour while I do some work.

- Have you brought a game? - Yeah, Connect Four.

- I love Connect Four. - I know you do,

and you're good at it as well.

- Have a good time, yeah? Bye, Albie. - [Tyler] Bye.

[knocking]

- What's going on? - Department of Environment.

This erection you are living in is here illegally.

- What? - This land has been sold,

and your erection…

Come on now, you, with your erections…

has to be removed within seven days.

- Hey, hang on a minute… - It's all in there.

Fuck me, I've been here years, man.

Yeah, illegally.

It's the fucking woods, people don't own the woods.

They do now.

- Seven days. - All right.

Shit!

["Ska Parisienne" playing]

Jimbo?

Oh!

Fuck are you two old cunts doing?

What does it look like?

It looks like you are fondling up a ginger horse.

There you are, then. We are entering the East Lancs show

and this time we're gonna fucking win.

We've set aside our previous differences

- to come together in a common cause. - Mmm.

It's like when Batman and The Joker worked together to defeat Owlman.

Weren't Owlman, was it? Was fucking Penguin.

- Owlman. - Penguin.

- Owlman. - Penguin.

Oi! For fuck's sake.

I need help.

The fucking council have sold the land on.

They're gonna kick me out my fucking shack.

- I've got seven days lads. - They can't do that.

Well, apparently, they can.

That's right on the edge of my farm that, that's classic woodland.

There's fucking rare bluebells down there,

little fucking dormice and chiff chaffs.

That's right, I saw a willow warbler down there just last week.

Listen, fuck, it's my home. I can't live in a fucking house.

What the fuck am I gonna do? Help me out, for fuck sake.

Hey, what about your secret club?

You're always bragging that you know MPs and council members.

All right, well, what's this secret club then, Shirley?

- It's a secret. - He's a Mason.

- Prove it! - Well, then, fuck, Shirley,

- have a word for me, man. - No can do, sorry.

We have very strict rules against that kind of thing.

- Fuck! - In fact, forget I was ever here,

forget this conversation ever took place.

Oi, Paslowski…

your secret friends are cunts!

- Your secret friends are cunts! - I haven't got any secret friends.

But if you did, they'd be cunts!

Three illegal operations.

Weed grow, Rat and Cutter, car garage.

We hit them all at the same time.

We want to catch them in the act so the timing is vital. Samantha.

I'm working on it.

I'd say I'm pretty close to being able to provide a hit time.

We're gonna take these scrotes down.

And when we've got them…

we'll make them squeal about that bastard McCann.

- [banging on door] - Erin! Erin!

You all right, Albie? Where's Tyler?

He's gone. I've lost him. He just disappeared.

["A Pain That I'm Used To" playing]

Tyler?

Tyler!

Have you seen him?

It's McCann, Vinnie, I know it is.

- All 'cause of that 30 fucking grand. - Albie, listen to me.

Did he get in a car with any men?

- He can't remember. - I can't remember.

It's all right. All right. Erm, why was he going to the fucking shop, anyway?

He went to get Tyler some sweets, I didn't tell him he couldn't.

- I'm sorry. - No. No. No, sweetheart.

- It's not your fault. - It's all right.

I'm really worried, Vin. I'll have to call the police.

What if they hurt him? Oi, listen, calm down a bit.

I'm gonna get him back. I'll get him back today,

I promise you. Everything is gonna be all right. I promise, sweetheart.

- [phone ringing] - Shit, it's Sugar. Shug!

[sighs] He's at home. He's at home. Thank fuck for that. Christ!

[music ends]

They said I had to go because you needed me home.

They used your name so I thought they knew you.

- [Erin] Did they say anything? - No.

They just asked me if I knew my Uncle Terence.

All right, well you are home now, so it doesn't matter but listen to me.

Don't ever get in a strange car

with people you don't know ever again. All right?

- Not unless Mummy says. - Yeah.

Okay. You're a good lad.

Eat your bi-squits.

[McCann on voicemail] You have reached Terence McCann.

Please leave a message after the beep.

["Stormy High" playing]

[Ash] I don't know about this, Vin.

Kidnapping, it's not really our thing, is it?

We're sending a message, Ashley.

I wouldn't mind but they bloody know me, these two.

♪ …Swimming in the ocean ♪

[sighs] That's enough.

Girls. Oi. Oi. Oi.

You don't even know what a narwhal is, do you?

- What is a narwhal? - It's a whale with a horn.

It's for breaking up ice.

- Is it? - Where's the fat one?

Now, girls, that's not nice, is it?

[in Irish accent] No, it's not, so it's not.

We'll be drinking a pint of Guinness with me leprechaun.

[girls laugh]

♪ Narwhals, narwhals Swimming in the ocean… ♪

Just make the call, will you?

Oi, that's enough.

[phone ringing]

[phone pings]

Right, now.

Before you start going out your fucking mind, they're fine.

In fact, they're extremely annoying,

and it is me that's fucking traumatised.

Take 'em… Take 'em fucking home now.

Ah, now you see, you sound cross there.

I was pretty fucking furious too when you had a word with my child.

- Your child? You and Erin? - Jesus Christ, yes, me and Erin.

We had a one-night stand thing. I am warning you, man…

Threaten me as much as you want.

You involve my kid with summat like this again, I'll fucking murder you.

Erin owes me 30 grand.

- Right, and you'll get it. - When?

Fucking soon.

You've got until the end of the fucking week. Put them on the phone.

No.

You fucking lay a hand on those girls, and I swear…

Listen to you, I am not a fucking monster like you,

I wouldn't hurt a child, would I? I am proving a fucking point.

Proving a fucking point? You're a dead cunt.

You were nearly dead before this stunt, but now you are fucking dead.

And that bitch that bore your child is fucking dead.

And that boy, I will leave a fucking orphan!

Now take 'em home!

- How did it go? - Not great.

- Right. - Let's drop 'em off.

Thanks, Dan.

Vinnie was telling me all about why he went to prison. Crazy.

Yeah.

- Were you there? - Was I…

When Tillerton had his accident?

Er… yeah.

Yeah. But you know, that's behind us now.

Vinnie's done his time, it's all forgotten.

Must be a bit scary though.

Erin still working with McCann. And you two didn't...

Fuck!

Shit, it's broken.

Oh, sorry. Hi, you okay? Good to see you.

[bell dings]

- Oh, it's you. What do you want? - What the fuck is that in your hand?

- An ear. - Why would you bring an ear

to the front of house?

I mean, this is your establishment, man.

I could have been a grieving family member.

You know, lost my husband or summat. I walk in here,

there's a one-eyed fucking pirate with a severed ear in his hand.

It's not severed, in fact, the reason I'm holding it

is 'cause of the way he died. The man had his entire head

squashed under the wheel of an articulated lorry.

Caved like a melon.

But staggeringly, the ear came out unscathed.

That is staggering.

Which is why it's going in my trophy cabinet.

What you on about, trophy cabinet?

Body parts that have fascinating stories connected to their deaths.

It's like a 3D diary kind of thing.

For fuck… Shut up.

You've got the body parts of people's loved ones in a cabinet?

The man's head was squashed to mush under a fucking truck.

Do you really think his family are gonna care

whether I keep his fucking ear in formaldehyde?

- Hmm. - Do you wanna see?

- Yes. - Come on, so.

- What did you come here for anyway? - I need to get your Stephen to bell me,

- it's about his dad. - McCann, why?

I need him to organise some sort

- of a truce. - With his dad, unlikely.

- He thinks he's an effeminate artist. - Yeah.

Well, can you get him to bell me?

["I Will always Love You" plays faintly]

Behold, the trophy cellar.

What the fuck?

- What do you think? - What do you mean, "what do I think"?

I think you are a fucking lunatic, is what I think.

Look at the state of this shit.

- What the fuck are these here? - Brain.

Ah, fuck me. A foot.

What's with the tongue? What's that all about?

Wife cut it out after she caught her husband giving cunnilingus

to the baby sitter. He bled to death.

- This is fucked! - Beautiful.

- Get it away. - It's gonna look well there.

Are them bollocks there?

- What're they saying? - It's a funny story.

- There was a barbed wire fence... - Oh, no, dude. Fuck me.

That's the end of that story. Start and the end, barbed wire fence.

Big fucking slit down the centre of it. Jesus wept.

- [music ends] - What's under that?

Oh, that's nothing, that's empty, forget about it.

- Come on. - All right.

[screaming]

Ah! No. No.

I told you not to look.

You were meant to fucking cremate that, dude.

- That is not… That's evidence. - No one's gonna find it.

Besides, it's a great story. Head clean off, sewn to another body.

- It's my second favourite. - Second favourite.

That's nothing but trouble.

- You'll fucking burn it. - Say I don't?

I'll fucking… McCann.

- Dickhead! - All right, all right, for fuck's sake.

I am heartbroken. I want you to know that.

Fuck! Burn it!

Burn it.

Oi, get Stephen to bell me.

[exhales] Sammy.

I know you're working, but I just…

I dunno, I just…

I dunno, actually.

I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.

I am sorry it's a shit message. Already.

Just, erm… if you want, give us a bell tomorrow or summat.

We can try and link up. Erm…

Erm, fuck. Bye.

Bye, then. You fucking turd.

[clicks tongue] Shit!

[sighs]

Mmm.

[rustling]

[man] Hello?

[Vinnie] Shit.

- Oh, you fucker! - All right, Vin.

You great dickhead. What the fuck are you doing in there?

[clears throat]

I need a bit of company, mate.

It's my head, these fucking dreams, I can't be on me own.

- Right, then fucking come on, then. - Cheers, mate.

Fucking hell, dude, what's that?

She is jaundice yellow. She looks startled.

I am not fucking test driving that, man.

Just a quickie, fanny, funbags. She were reduced for a quick sale,

so I'm worried there might be hidden damage.

- Fuck me. Hidden damage? - Baggy arse or summat, I don't know.

Christ, and what are you gonna be doing

- while I'm humping the life out of this? - I'll go for a walk, won't I?

- Toddle about. - Fuck that,

- dude, I am not shagging that thing. - Jesus fucking Christ, Vincent.

It's a free shag, I can't even fucking give it away.

I suppose you're having your needs attended to

by the scrumptious Samantha?

Mmm. Well. Not really.

Hmm? Have you, er…

[whistles]

- Not exactly, no. - Not exactly?

- Well, not… fuck me, not at all. - Has she sucked you off?

Dude, I am not supposed to… tell you shit like that.

Not supposed to. Hey, hey, hey, look who you are talking to, mate.

I'm a broken man.

This year I've had fucking hell, dignity robbed,

livelihood stripped away from me. The least you can do, right,

is enlighten your mate

with the details of your mucky, mucky love life. Now then.

- Have you had a go on the mammaries? - Yes.

- Right. Naked or through clothes? - Through clothes.

- What about the mons pubis? - Uh-uh.

- Not yet. - Not even through clothes?

- Not even a dry hump? - No, I haven't dry humped.

We've kissed. We have had a smooch up, but that is about it.

It's just about connection for now, you know.

She likes me. And I like her.

I tell her I am a bipolar fuck up, she listens and tells me I'm not.

I think I feel something for her. [chuckles]

Fair enough.

Now, then, what's your policy on spooning?

I can't have your willy near my bum.

- I won't sleep. - Fine, you spoon me.

Next question, may I sleep in the altogether?

Dude, no. That is a firm no.

Jesus fucking Christ, when did you get to be such a fucking prude?

When I have to sleep with my midget mate naked.

I tell you what…

- What? - It's actually quite cosy,

- this place, in't it? - Yeah.

I don't mind telling you.

I used to think it were a bit of a shithole.

Well, if that removal order comes through,

I will be out on my fucking ear, won't I?

Oh, aye. Do you want any help with that?

I used to spank a bloke who works in the town hall.

Actually, no, come to think about it, he works in sanitation.

Do you know that fucking Shirley's a Mason?

- [grunts] - Yeah. Jim told me about it.

Knows all these people on the fucking council.

I said, will you give us a hand? Told me to fuck myself. Blonde twat!

- Shirley. - Yeah.

Because I seem to recall that Shirley's a sleepwalker, in't he?

- Hmm. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

'Cause the thing about sleepwalkers, Vincent, is…

people get up to all sorts in their sleep, don't they?

- Hmm. - [chuckles]

[muffled music plays in pub]

Shit!

["Beautiful Dreamer" playing]

♪ Beautiful dreamer… ♪

[whispering] Right, go on.

Now, then, a few lewd poses, right,

enough for your standard blackmail job.

There we go. Get snapping.

- Fuck! - Right, he's going for it.

- Jesus, he's rampant. - [Shirley moaning]

We shouldn't be watching this, lads.

- Fuck, dude. - [Shirley moaning]

Fucking hell, he's not actually.

- Oh, poor Alison. - Poor me, more like,

I've gotta clean her out.

Jesus Christ, I hope he don't rip her.

- [squelching] - Oh, fucking hell! Fuck, dude.

[Shirley grunting]

- How do you make it do that? - [Shirley moaning]

Good Lord, nobody should have to go through that.

[JJ] Poor Alison.

All right, Dyldo? What you doing here?

I need to talk to you, man.

Alone.

What the fuck's going on?

Dude, man, I don't know how to tell you this.

Dude, honestly, you are making me fucking nervous.

- What's going on, Dill? - Erm…

- It's Samantha. - What about her?

I don't know who she is. I don't know what she is,

but you can't fucking trust her.

What you talking about?

She starts asking loads of questions behind the bar.

And I were fucking… I were careful,

after what happened with Sara, I kept my gob shut,

but it… just… it just bothered me.

And then… look, I accidentally knocked her bag over

and found this.

It's not a lighter.

It's a fuck… It's a microphone.

- [recording plays on laptop] - [Sam] How old were you

- when your mam left? - [Vinnie] Seven.

- [Sam] That's so little. - [Vinnie] Mmm.

Christ, I wonder sometimes whether that's half the reason I am the way I am.

I mean, me brain is just… Christ, it's fucked.

I have to take pills, you know. Fucking shame.

You're bonny in the woods.

[Sam] I like it.

I bet you miss… [recording stops]

[sighs]

- Who is she? - I dunno, man.

She could be a cop, maybe?

An investigator?

- I've fucked up. - How could you know, man.

None of us knew. She seems fantastic.

Dill, I don't know what I've fucking said to her.

I mean, you know.

You were careful, but they know about the weed grow.

Oh, fu…

I trusted her.

I know, dude. I'm sorry, man.

She fucking lied. She told me things about her fucking… past, her family and…

She kissed me.

I liked her.

I really liked her.

I am never trusting an outsider again.

I think we've got a problem.

What do you want?

Want to know if you'll reconsider speaking to your Mason pals

- to help Vinnie's shack. - No.

I won't, and there's nothing you can say or do

that will make me change my mind.

- Oh, really? - [Shirley moaning on phone]

["I've Got A Feelin" playing]

[song continues faintly in pub]

- Hi, JJ. - Hey.

Dylan, how's it going?

- I'm good, yeah, how are you? - Yeah, great, thanks.

Sandra's asked us to bring the new optics down from the function room,

- can you come give me a hand? - Yeah, no worries.

Get up to anything last night

- when you left here? - Nah.

Just stayed at home, quiet one. How about you?

Yeah, same, I was wrecked. It's hard work, this place.

Hello.

- [door locks] - What are you up to?

- What's going on? - Who the fuck are you?

- What? - Who you working for?

Who do I work for? I work here.

Do you think I'm a cunt?

It's a funny little thing, that.

There you go. Come on.

So why have you been doing that, then?

Why have you been recording all our chats?

Because I like to remember them, I like to have nice moments.

Look at me.

I really fucking fell for you. Do you know that?

I let you in.

And I'm really lonely.

You knew, didn't you?

Vinnie, can we speak alone?

No.

[sighs] Look at these people with me now.

They're all I've ever known.

I don't have anybody else, they are me entire family.

And if you've fucked me over, fucking look at them.

You have fucked them over too, haven't you?

Are you police?

Yeah.

Is it Slater?

What have you told him?

- Fucking, what have you told him? - Everything.

- Right. - Listen…

I started to like you, I did, I swear.

It started as a job and then

- I got feelings and… - She's lying.

- I'm not. - Say anything to get out

of this room now, won't you?

Vinnie, I swear.

I told you about my mum, didn't I?

And my dad.

Look, Slater wants you guys, but he wants McCann, too.

- So if you let me, I can help you. - Can't trust you.

Dylan, please, they're planning a raid.

They've done surveillance but they need me to tell them the right time.

We let her go now, she's gonna go squealing straight to the cops.

I won't, Vin, I swear.

Trust me.

Why the fuck, after all this…

why would you help us, eh?

- Why would you? - Because…

you've got a good heart.

["20th Century Boy" playing]

[clamouring]

[sirens blare, tyres screech]

♪ Friends says it's good ♪

♪ Everybody says it's Just like Robin Hood ♪

♪ I move like a cat Charge like a ram ♪

♪ Sting like a bee Babe, I want to be your man ♪

♪ Well, it's plain to see You were meant for me ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm your boy Your 20th century toy… ♪

All units stand by unless active or urgent.

Entry team forward.

[officer 1] Armed police, stand still and show me your hands.

Armed police!

- [officer] Police. - [all shouting indistinctly]

Morning, lads. Ey up?

Armed police.

[overlapping shouting]

What the fuck?

[officer 2 on radio] Premises clear. No arrests made.

Fuck! Fuck's sake!

- [officer] Armed police, do not move! - Can I come in for a minute?

I'm unarmed, I'm unarmed. You all right?

I… I have to be honest, you have, I mean,

Jesus, Carl, you have fucked me… Can I sit down? Can I sit down?

Oh, God. Carl.

I have got to hand it to you, man, you have… royally fucked me over.

I am fucking heartbroken with the Sam thing. I had no idea, man.

Seems like you did.

Well, yeah, but fuck me, only just, dude.

Christ lads, you were really bloody close. Really close.

Yeah. But anyway, you've done really well,

I think you've fucked me right over and I just don't want you

hanging on my back for the rest of my life so… fair cop.

All right, what's going on?

- Nothing. - Crap. Cuff him.

Now, back in the van.

- Leave him here. - But, sir…

Leave him and go.

I'll be fine.

Oh, be my fucking guest, Vin, have a seat.

We've known each other a long time, haven't we, Vin?

Since school.

So I'm quietly confident that this behaviour

is wildly out of character.

Vincent O'Neill doesn't just give himself up

and then happily walk back into prison, does he?

Dude, I just don't think I'll get that long inside.

In all truth, Carl, I won't, and I have fucking been there before

and it is just not that bad so it makes no difference,

- lock me up and the rest, why not? - What's going on, Vin?

Carl, mate, you're on a fucking revenge mission. I get it.

You don't like me.

You know, I was a fucking horrible cunt to you in school,

I called you a dog bummer and it stuck. Can't have helped.

I always had a posse of mates and you struggled a bit,

you were always on your own.

But you couldn't possibly hurt me more than me.

Carl, listen to me.

With no agenda, I am a fucking nobody.

Pathetic, mentally ill dickhead criminal

from the arse end of nowhere.

If you want people talking your name…

you best land yourself a much bigger fish.

- Oh, I intend to. - Right. Well…

it just so happens I could help you out with that.

But I'm gonna want some guarantees.

I don't do deals, Vin.

Sound enough, forget the whole thing. No worries.

["Salvation" playing]

You stay here.

- [Tommo] Go on. - [JJ] I managed to get hold of 5K.

I've borrowed two grand from the Crow's Nest.

And I've put in the money I were gonna use to restart my sex dungeon.

- Thanks, Tommo. - Pleasure.

Just… stay out of my dreams.

Well, we're still way too short. I mean, even with the club money,

- that's only 19k. - Shit!

[door opens]

I'll lend you the rest. I've got it.

I'll get it back. It's fine.

Dad, before you say anything, Erin wants a chance to apologise.

- How do you know her? - Through business.

She's a good person, and she has your money.

Mr McCann, I am…

really, really, sorry.

I just want to put things right.

Dad, can we come in?

♪ I need protection ♪

♪ But I don't need you ♪

- [twin 1] You're cheating. - [twin 2] You can't catch me.

[twin 1] I will catch you. I've got you already.

- Sorry, can I just go to the loo? - No.

Of course you can use the fucking loo.

- [twin 1] You're cheating. - [twin 2] No, I am not.

Yes, you are.

You are a cheater.

- Hi, girls. - [both] Hi, Stevie.

Hey, why don't we go inside 'cause it is starting to rain?

- Ouch. Can we go inside, please? - Fight with us.

Pussy.

- Later, I'll fight with you later. C'mon. - [twins] No!

- [Stephen] Yes. - No, idiot.

- You're an idiot. - You're an idiot.

And you're not coming in our room.

I don't wanna get in your stupid room anyway. 'Cause it smells.

- Your room smells. - I don't care 'cause I am gonna go in

and I'm gonna mess up all your stuff. I am.

- No, you're not. - Yeah, I am.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

You upset me, Erin.

I don't like rejection.

You had that prick O'Neill inside you.

Had his baby, and you have the fucking temerity to reject me?

I appreciate the money back, but you're done.

- Terence... - You're done.

And when you least fucking expect it,

you and that arsehole O'Neill will get what's coming to you.

- Mr McCann... - Shh.

[twins and Stevie bickering nearby]

[twin 1] Get out the bedroom!

[groans, sighs]

[urine trickling]

[sighs]

- Dad! Stevie slapped me! - Fuck's sake…

[toilet flushes]

[twins arguing]

[Terence] Stop…

[Erin whispers] Go!

[whispers] That way, that way, go!

- Fuck's sake! - You always take their side.

- All good? - Yeah.

- Mission accomplished. - [engine starts]

Nice one, Stevie. Thank God for that.

- I'm scared. - Oi, don't be. Listen to me.

If that works out, we'll be free of him, hun.

Will we, though?

Erm… I'm sorry about Samantha.

It's all right. You know, all the things I did with her…

I'd show her the woods, and where I used to play

when I was little, and the whole bloody time,

all I could think was I just wished it was you.

- Vin… - I know. I know. I know. It's fine.

I always think about what you whispered.

I don't know.

I don't know anything any more. [sighs]

I just want to do what's best for Tyler.

I have to do what's best for our boy.

["I Shall Be Released" playing]

Come here.

- [door smashes] - [girls screaming]

[officers yelling]

[officer] Show me your hands now! Turn around!

♪ They say every distance is not near ♪

♪ So I remember ♪

♪ Every face… ♪

Well, well, well.

What on earth's this doing here?

♪ I see my light come shining ♪

♪ From the west down to ♪

♪ The east ♪

♪ Any day now ♪

♪ Any day now ♪

♪ I shall be released ♪

♪ I see my light come shining ♪

♪ From the west down to ♪

♪ The east ♪

♪ Any day now ♪

♪ Any day now ♪

[vehicle approaching]

♪ I shall be ♪

♪ Released ♪

Fuck!

Oi! Oi! Oi! Fuck off, dude. Get gone.

Sorry, lads, time's up. This erection has to come down.

- [all yelling] - Oi! Stop it!

No, don't!

- That's enough, you Irish cunts. - What's all this?

What does it look like?

Looks like two old twats running through the wood holding paper.

Fuck are you asking for then?

- Cease and desist. - Mmm.

Signed by the deputy head of planning at the council,

- Nigel Perrywater. - You what?

And I have written authorisation

that this erection can stay exactly where it is.

All right. Early breakfast, boys.

[cheering]

["The Last Time" playing]

Nice one, Shirley.

- Celebration? - Yeah, let's definitely go to the pub.

- Jim's buying. - Wahey!

Erin, Erin, come down to the pub

and make sure you bring bloody Sugar with you. Shirley saved the shack.

Shirley and Jim. Christ, thank God.

It's a really good day, so…

come and have a drink.

[music continues]

[sighs]

- You all right, Shug? - All right, Vin.

Is Erin in?

- I've no idea. - Is she not in. No?

- I've only just got up. - Erin?

[music ends]

Er… Erin?

- Ty…Tyler… - What's going on?

- Fuck! - Oh, my God.

- She's gone. - What?

She's fucking gone. She's gone.

[sighs]

[sighs]

["There's No Other Like My Baby" playing]

♪ There's a story ♪

♪ I want you to know ♪

♪ 'Bout my baby ♪

♪ How I love him so… ♪

[sobbing]

♪ There's… ♪

[Erin] My darling Vinnie, you are the dad to our beautiful son

and an amazing friend.

But I am scared,

so I have to go.

I need a fresh start somewhere that I know he is safe.

I'm so sorry.

I'll miss you forever.

And I hope you can forgive me.

[whispers] Thirty-four percent was always enough.

♪ There's no other ♪

♪ Like my baby ♪

♪ No, no ♪