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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,140 --> 00:00:05,198 Will & Grace is recorded 2 00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:07,400 in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:08,317 --> 00:00:10,375 Okay, I have no idea why I'm supposed to care about her. 4 00:00:10,399 --> 00:00:11,697 - Bella Hadid! - Even less. 5 00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:13,899 - Gigi Hadid! - Yes. 6 00:00:13,923 --> 00:00:15,901 - Ugh, this guy. - Kanye. 7 00:00:15,925 --> 00:00:17,703 - Yes. - [DINGING] 8 00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:19,585 Uh, time, time. 9 00:00:19,609 --> 00:00:22,588 The score right now is 15 for you guys, 10 00:00:22,612 --> 00:00:27,513 and we are your heels with a very respectable one. 11 00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:29,996 I'm sorry I'm such a bad partner. 12 00:00:30,020 --> 00:00:32,078 Are you kidding? You're better than Grace. 13 00:00:32,102 --> 00:00:33,759 She never takes the time out to tell me 14 00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,321 how beautiful my eyes are. 15 00:00:35,345 --> 00:00:37,087 They really are incredible. 16 00:00:37,111 --> 00:00:39,606 They're hazel. They're the color of a swamp. 17 00:00:40,150 --> 00:00:41,367 Here, your turn. 18 00:00:41,391 --> 00:00:43,249 Okay, ready? 19 00:00:43,273 --> 00:00:44,370 Go. 20 00:00:44,394 --> 00:00:46,452 Okay, he's hot but not as hot as you. 21 00:00:46,476 --> 00:00:47,574 Adam Levine. 22 00:00:47,598 --> 00:00:49,375 You think you're hotter than Adam Levine? 23 00:00:49,953 --> 00:00:51,651 - He's right. - Yes, that's one point for us! 24 00:00:51,675 --> 00:00:53,453 No, no, it's the wrong answer 25 00:00:53,477 --> 00:00:55,815 but you are correct that you're hotter than Adam Levine. 26 00:00:55,839 --> 00:00:58,298 - That's so sweet. - Oh, you're so sweet. 27 00:00:58,322 --> 00:00:59,579 [AUDIENCE AAHS] 28 00:00:59,603 --> 00:01:01,726 We're still playing! 29 00:01:02,731 --> 00:01:03,951 Oh, this one's easy. 30 00:01:03,975 --> 00:01:05,413 Uh, we both have French bulldogs 31 00:01:05,437 --> 00:01:07,124 from the same surrogate. 32 00:01:07,148 --> 00:01:10,150 - [BEEPING] - Time, time! We won again. 33 00:01:10,174 --> 00:01:12,032 It was Rachel Maddow. 34 00:01:12,056 --> 00:01:13,674 Oh. 35 00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,756 - Well, you guys were great. - Mm-hmm. 36 00:01:15,780 --> 00:01:17,902 - At crapping the bed. - [CHUCKLES] 37 00:01:19,023 --> 00:01:20,801 But you know what? They are fun to hang out with. 38 00:01:20,825 --> 00:01:22,082 They are. They're a great couple. 39 00:01:22,106 --> 00:01:24,205 But come on, we're the better couple. 40 00:01:24,229 --> 00:01:27,929 You know, it's almost rude how much better we are. 41 00:01:27,953 --> 00:01:30,171 Should we try to be less great as a couple? 42 00:01:30,195 --> 00:01:32,197 If we could, we would. 43 00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:35,056 They really care a lot about the game. 44 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:36,457 [SIGHS] I know, 45 00:01:36,481 --> 00:01:38,624 but they're not as pretty as we are. 46 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:43,008 [UPBEAT TRUMPET AND PIANO MUSIC] 47 00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:51,041 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 48 00:01:53,218 --> 00:01:56,182 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 49 00:01:57,943 --> 00:01:59,603 What is it, Mother? 50 00:02:00,506 --> 00:02:03,165 No, I am not screening your calls. 51 00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:05,287 I did listen to your voicemails! 52 00:02:05,311 --> 00:02:07,729 I did too, Judith! 53 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,571 Oh, yes I... 54 00:02:09,595 --> 00:02:11,073 [SIGHS] 55 00:02:12,558 --> 00:02:14,117 Okay, no I didn't. 56 00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:16,554 What do you want? 57 00:02:16,578 --> 00:02:18,220 No, of course I'm still getting married! 58 00:02:18,244 --> 00:02:20,543 Why would... why do you keep asking me that? 59 00:02:20,567 --> 00:02:22,569 I love Estefan. 60 00:02:23,570 --> 00:02:24,907 How dare you! 61 00:02:24,931 --> 00:02:26,469 No, I am not going to cheat. 62 00:02:26,493 --> 00:02:31,033 Not even if the perfect man fell from the sky! 63 00:02:31,057 --> 00:02:33,476 No, I'm not going to feel stuck when I get married. 64 00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,198 I will never be stuck. 65 00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:36,919 [THUDDING] 66 00:02:36,943 --> 00:02:38,521 [ELECTRICAL BUZZING] 67 00:02:38,545 --> 00:02:40,227 Oh, my God, I'm stuck. 68 00:02:42,349 --> 00:02:44,808 Malcolm, darling, the power is still out. 69 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:47,370 I'll take off as soon as it stops snowing. 70 00:02:47,394 --> 00:02:50,597 I'll just give Pilot a little nudge. Okay. 71 00:02:52,079 --> 00:02:55,242 Now you listen to me, you son of a bitch. 72 00:02:56,203 --> 00:02:59,503 I don't care if you have to dig that plane out of the snow 73 00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,104 with a coke spoon, 74 00:03:01,128 --> 00:03:05,092 I am flying to Islamabad tonight to see my boyfriend. 75 00:03:06,774 --> 00:03:09,657 Wow, so that voice comes out of you. 76 00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:14,222 I was picturing a sexy animated rabbit. 77 00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:18,907 Well, that's how I picture myself except with a whip. 78 00:03:21,589 --> 00:03:23,567 Um, I'm Nikki. I'm above you. 79 00:03:23,591 --> 00:03:25,856 Honey, no one's above me. 80 00:03:30,318 --> 00:03:33,257 [SCOFFS] Mind if I borrow your glasses? 81 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:34,819 Sure. 82 00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:36,541 There you go. 83 00:03:36,565 --> 00:03:38,983 Wow, you have such a weak prescription. 84 00:03:39,007 --> 00:03:40,385 There's no prescription. 85 00:03:40,409 --> 00:03:41,621 They're fake. 86 00:03:42,411 --> 00:03:44,269 My eyes are perfect. 87 00:03:44,293 --> 00:03:45,430 Then why... 88 00:03:45,454 --> 00:03:47,272 Well, network testing showed the glasses 89 00:03:47,296 --> 00:03:49,995 make me appear more trustworthy and approachable. 90 00:03:50,019 --> 00:03:52,317 So people think you're too beautiful without the glasses? 91 00:03:52,341 --> 00:03:54,679 82% of viewers don't hear a word I say 92 00:03:54,703 --> 00:03:56,705 when I'm not wearing them. 93 00:03:58,307 --> 00:03:59,885 I'm sorry, what? 94 00:03:59,909 --> 00:04:01,911 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 95 00:04:02,231 --> 00:04:04,233 [BOTH SMACKING] 96 00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:07,212 You know what bugs me about Will and McCoy? 97 00:04:07,236 --> 00:04:09,134 Ooh, what? 98 00:04:09,158 --> 00:04:12,658 They're so into each other, especially McCoy. 99 00:04:12,682 --> 00:04:15,100 Love's not that showy crap. 100 00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:18,023 You know, "Oh, you're so beautiful and wonderful." 101 00:04:18,047 --> 00:04:19,825 Who wants that all the time? 102 00:04:19,849 --> 00:04:21,787 [SCOFFS] Babies. 103 00:04:22,412 --> 00:04:26,712 This is good. oh, you and me hanging out. 104 00:04:26,736 --> 00:04:29,635 These last few months, I've been really happy. 105 00:04:29,659 --> 00:04:32,290 - I could do this all the time. - Yeah, me too. 106 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:36,026 Hey, I've got an idea. 107 00:04:36,579 --> 00:04:39,718 How about I give you a drawer here? 108 00:04:39,743 --> 00:04:42,057 Some place to keep your fake glasses. 109 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,494 - I love that idea, Will. - Hmm. 110 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,367 Or I could just move in with you. 111 00:04:48,392 --> 00:04:50,555 [CHUCKLES] 112 00:04:51,909 --> 00:04:53,911 Oh. 113 00:04:54,664 --> 00:04:56,843 Love is looking someone in the eyes 114 00:04:57,140 --> 00:04:59,358 and saying "I love you, move in with me." 115 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,385 Yeah, I guess. 116 00:05:02,726 --> 00:05:04,728 Oh. 117 00:05:09,260 --> 00:05:10,357 Bad nut. 118 00:05:10,381 --> 00:05:12,680 Grace, I'm asking you to move in with me. 119 00:05:12,704 --> 00:05:13,964 [SPITS] 120 00:05:15,526 --> 00:05:17,864 Oh, I... oh. 121 00:05:17,889 --> 00:05:20,068 Ah, I did it again. I moved too fast. 122 00:05:20,093 --> 00:05:22,551 Why do I keep doing that? What is wrong with me? 123 00:05:22,576 --> 00:05:24,674 No, no, no, wait, wait! There's nothing wrong with you. 124 00:05:24,701 --> 00:05:27,264 No, you're great. You... you... you're wonderful. 125 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:33,125 The reason we can't move in together is... it's not you. 126 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,282 It's Grace. 127 00:05:38,289 --> 00:05:39,907 You make me happy 128 00:05:39,932 --> 00:05:42,711 and you're so good with Katie and she adores you. 129 00:05:42,736 --> 00:05:44,738 So what the hell, let's do this. 130 00:05:45,537 --> 00:05:48,580 What's with the face? Why isn't it a "yes" face? 131 00:05:49,501 --> 00:05:52,120 I... I would. I mean, I would, but... 132 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,146 But what? What... what is it? 133 00:05:55,072 --> 00:05:56,423 It's Will. 134 00:05:58,196 --> 00:05:59,613 What about her? 135 00:05:59,638 --> 00:06:01,416 Well, she's gone through some stuff, you know? 136 00:06:01,441 --> 00:06:04,300 She's kind of, um, well... 137 00:06:04,677 --> 00:06:06,308 she's mentally unstable. 138 00:06:08,681 --> 00:06:10,145 He's... 139 00:06:11,164 --> 00:06:12,314 broke. 140 00:06:13,166 --> 00:06:14,984 Completely broke. 141 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,425 What, how? 142 00:06:16,449 --> 00:06:17,986 Gambling. 143 00:06:19,332 --> 00:06:22,255 - How unstable? - It's not good, McCoy. 144 00:06:24,419 --> 00:06:26,157 [SHAKER SHAKING] 145 00:06:26,967 --> 00:06:28,945 Okay, that's what that sound is. 146 00:06:28,976 --> 00:06:30,473 You know, upstairs, uh, 147 00:06:30,497 --> 00:06:32,620 we all thought someone played the maracas. 148 00:06:33,821 --> 00:06:36,039 Isn't there, like, another smaller maraca? 149 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,320 That would be this. 150 00:06:37,344 --> 00:06:39,507 [PILL BOTTLE SHAKING] 151 00:06:40,428 --> 00:06:42,245 You're very musical. 152 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,672 Well, I've been playing for years. 153 00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:48,131 Hello, 911? 154 00:06:48,155 --> 00:06:49,853 Yes, uh, yes, I called three times! 155 00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:52,456 Why isn't anybody here yet? 156 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,019 Did you just call me ma'am? 157 00:06:55,043 --> 00:06:57,101 I am not a ma'am. 158 00:06:57,125 --> 00:07:00,825 No, I am a man. I am not a ma'am. 159 00:07:00,849 --> 00:07:03,267 [HIGH-PITCHED] Why would you think I was a woman? 160 00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:04,709 [SIGHS] 161 00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:06,430 - [KNOCK ON DOOR] - Grace, can I talk to you? 162 00:07:06,454 --> 00:07:07,712 Uh, sure. Come on in. 163 00:07:07,736 --> 00:07:09,353 Don't say anything about the gambling. 164 00:07:09,377 --> 00:07:10,915 Hey, sorry you guys. 165 00:07:10,939 --> 00:07:12,517 - [CRUNCH] - Ow! 166 00:07:12,541 --> 00:07:14,783 Please tell me that's a shell and not a toenail. 167 00:07:16,385 --> 00:07:17,722 Grace said the maid comes tomorrow 168 00:07:17,746 --> 00:07:19,724 so we could throw whatever we want on the floor. 169 00:07:19,748 --> 00:07:21,299 He's the maid. 170 00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:23,368 Look at us. 171 00:07:23,392 --> 00:07:26,171 Just two working gals in the big city. 172 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:29,054 Punching in everyday around 2:00, 173 00:07:29,078 --> 00:07:32,257 pushing papers till 3:30, 174 00:07:32,281 --> 00:07:34,619 then taking the Rolls back to the manse, 175 00:07:34,643 --> 00:07:39,865 sleeping 16 hours and then it's time to make the donuts. 176 00:07:39,889 --> 00:07:40,986 [CHUCKLES] 177 00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:43,148 You're like my photo negative. 178 00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:45,494 Hmm? 179 00:07:46,616 --> 00:07:49,154 Ugh, God, it does not look like 180 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,436 we are getting out of here tonight. 181 00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:52,317 Oh, honey, don't say that. 182 00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,384 Girl, I just said it. 183 00:07:55,144 --> 00:07:56,282 Honey. 184 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,308 Girl. 185 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,006 Honey. 186 00:08:01,030 --> 00:08:03,073 Girl. 187 00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:07,557 So, uh, can I talk to you for a moment? 188 00:08:08,598 --> 00:08:10,336 Oh, I leave. That's how this works. 189 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,445 Mm-hmm. 190 00:08:11,469 --> 00:08:14,060 Sorry, you know, I just have a, uh, I have a problem. 191 00:08:14,084 --> 00:08:15,461 Oh, I know. 192 00:08:15,485 --> 00:08:18,288 I mean, I... I don't know. Why would I know? 193 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,932 Oh, uh, forgot my wallet. 194 00:08:23,734 --> 00:08:26,156 I might need it for, um... 195 00:08:27,097 --> 00:08:29,316 no particular reason. 196 00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:31,369 Certainly trust you. 197 00:08:32,943 --> 00:08:35,081 It's so hot. 198 00:08:35,105 --> 00:08:37,204 Why is it so hot in here? 199 00:08:37,228 --> 00:08:39,446 [PANTING] 200 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,254 Must be... 201 00:08:42,033 --> 00:08:44,315 must be running out of oxygen. 202 00:08:46,357 --> 00:08:48,439 There's no other explanation. 203 00:08:50,481 --> 00:08:53,645 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 204 00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:57,264 So... 205 00:08:57,288 --> 00:08:58,826 Look, I... I need you to back me up 206 00:08:58,850 --> 00:09:00,428 and... and don't ask any questions. 207 00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:01,789 I told McCoy 208 00:09:01,813 --> 00:09:04,191 that you're mentally and emotionally unstable. 209 00:09:04,215 --> 00:09:07,114 What? And he believed you? 210 00:09:07,138 --> 00:09:08,531 Instantly. 211 00:09:09,621 --> 00:09:10,958 He asked to move in with me 212 00:09:10,982 --> 00:09:12,280 and I panicked. 213 00:09:12,304 --> 00:09:14,001 Just... so just back me up on this, please! 214 00:09:14,025 --> 00:09:15,203 I'd do it for you. 215 00:09:15,227 --> 00:09:17,469 Yeah, um, let's test that out. 216 00:09:19,671 --> 00:09:24,092 I told Noah that you're an out of control gambler. 217 00:09:24,116 --> 00:09:27,175 Also a thief, but that's really just to support the gambling. 218 00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:28,536 Just... 219 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:29,858 [PANTING] 220 00:09:29,882 --> 00:09:32,931 Man, it's so hot. I got to get out of here. 221 00:09:34,687 --> 00:09:37,986 Think of a plan, Jack. Think of a plan. 222 00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:40,012 Ooh, I got it! 223 00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:43,792 [SCREAMING] Help! 224 00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:45,818 What is going on with them? 225 00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:49,598 What is going on with us? 226 00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:51,760 Isn't this what we both wanted? 227 00:09:52,242 --> 00:09:53,786 Yeah. 228 00:09:55,188 --> 00:09:56,846 Then why didn't we say yes? 229 00:09:56,870 --> 00:09:58,567 Maybe... 230 00:09:58,591 --> 00:10:00,169 maybe we like things the way they are. 231 00:10:00,193 --> 00:10:01,691 Yes, yes, we do. 232 00:10:01,715 --> 00:10:03,492 We're in a really good place. We're comfortable. 233 00:10:03,516 --> 00:10:05,134 Comfortable, exactly. 234 00:10:05,158 --> 00:10:06,816 You get to a certain age. 235 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,857 Forty-s... 236 00:10:07,881 --> 00:10:09,883 BOTH: Four. 237 00:10:10,363 --> 00:10:11,701 And... and you want comfort. 238 00:10:11,725 --> 00:10:13,262 And there's nothing wrong with that. 239 00:10:13,286 --> 00:10:14,744 No, exactly. 240 00:10:14,768 --> 00:10:17,307 So we'll just... we'll just tell the men, who love us, 241 00:10:17,331 --> 00:10:18,828 that we made up ridiculous lies 242 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:21,695 because we would rather just live together. 243 00:10:23,177 --> 00:10:24,441 Forever. 244 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,676 [CLEARS THROAT] 245 00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:30,040 Or we could keep the lies going for a little while, 246 00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:31,361 buy us some time. 247 00:10:31,385 --> 00:10:33,163 Now that's the kind of short term thinking 248 00:10:33,187 --> 00:10:34,684 we gamblers like to hear. 249 00:10:34,708 --> 00:10:37,567 And I think it's just crazy enough to work. 250 00:10:37,591 --> 00:10:38,809 Good, that's good. 251 00:10:38,833 --> 00:10:39,990 That's good. That's a good idea. 252 00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,303 It's a great idea. 253 00:10:41,327 --> 00:10:42,893 I'm just gonna say it, we're geniuses. 254 00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:45,135 I'm gonna say it, we're the better couple. 255 00:10:45,159 --> 00:10:47,401 [BLOWS RASPBERRY] 256 00:10:49,380 --> 00:10:52,357 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 257 00:10:52,381 --> 00:10:54,599 Will? No, it's me. 258 00:10:54,623 --> 00:10:57,282 Will and Grace are doing their Will and Grace thing. 259 00:10:57,306 --> 00:10:58,975 I don't know where to be. 260 00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:02,087 Wow, this place is really clean. 261 00:11:02,111 --> 00:11:03,438 Where do you guys eat? 262 00:11:04,153 --> 00:11:06,155 In the kitchen. 263 00:11:07,316 --> 00:11:08,854 Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? 264 00:11:08,878 --> 00:11:10,496 Yeah, have a seat. 265 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:11,863 So listen... 266 00:11:12,995 --> 00:11:14,533 are these flannel sheets? 267 00:11:14,558 --> 00:11:16,536 Yeah, they're really great on a night like this. 268 00:11:16,561 --> 00:11:18,139 I always wondered what they felt like. 269 00:11:18,164 --> 00:11:19,746 Be my guest. 270 00:11:22,012 --> 00:11:23,309 Don't feel weird, 271 00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:26,472 I'm New York's most trusted newsman. 272 00:11:26,496 --> 00:11:27,962 Yeah, all right. 273 00:11:31,662 --> 00:11:33,640 - Oh, wow. - Mm-hmm. 274 00:11:33,664 --> 00:11:35,762 Ooh, that's cozy. 275 00:11:35,786 --> 00:11:38,324 It's nice to be in a bed where nothing crunches. 276 00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:40,350 Hmm. 277 00:11:40,671 --> 00:11:42,673 [CHUCKLES] 278 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:47,398 You have the most beautiful skin I've ever seen. 279 00:11:48,732 --> 00:11:50,550 You're like a super-hot baby. 280 00:11:50,575 --> 00:11:54,280 I know, it's both a blessing and a... 281 00:11:54,845 --> 00:11:56,741 actually, it's just a blessing. 282 00:11:57,368 --> 00:12:00,587 So listen, uh, I just want to put it out there. 283 00:12:00,611 --> 00:12:02,269 I know where Will can get some help 284 00:12:02,293 --> 00:12:03,871 for his gambling problem. 285 00:12:03,895 --> 00:12:05,192 Gambling problem? 286 00:12:05,216 --> 00:12:06,834 You don't have to cover for him, okay? 287 00:12:06,858 --> 00:12:07,875 Grace told me. 288 00:12:07,899 --> 00:12:10,702 Oh, Grace told you. 289 00:12:13,424 --> 00:12:15,507 That must be so hard. 290 00:12:16,227 --> 00:12:18,350 Is she off her meds again? 291 00:12:19,791 --> 00:12:21,474 You mean Gas-X? 292 00:12:22,113 --> 00:12:23,531 No, no, she took one tonight. 293 00:12:23,555 --> 00:12:26,214 A little after the fact, but still. 294 00:12:26,238 --> 00:12:29,521 No, I'm talking about her anti-psychotics. 295 00:12:30,322 --> 00:12:32,151 Will told me that she... 296 00:12:33,645 --> 00:12:35,071 You know what? 297 00:12:35,848 --> 00:12:37,385 I think we've been lied to. 298 00:12:37,409 --> 00:12:40,108 Nah, I... I find that hard to believe. 299 00:12:40,132 --> 00:12:42,134 Oh, sorry. 300 00:12:48,340 --> 00:12:49,598 I think we've been lied to. 301 00:12:49,622 --> 00:12:52,304 Oh, my God! We've been lied to! 302 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,844 This is the NYPD. 303 00:12:55,868 --> 00:12:57,480 Oh, thank God! 304 00:12:57,504 --> 00:13:00,473 Remain calm, ma'am. I'm coming down. 305 00:13:05,238 --> 00:13:07,680 Wait, I know you. 306 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,140 Drew. 307 00:13:11,164 --> 00:13:12,621 Jack? 308 00:13:12,645 --> 00:13:15,745 So what if I make a little more effort than Malcolm? 309 00:13:15,769 --> 00:13:17,907 Are you saying that you've never gone out of your way 310 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,268 for your man? 311 00:13:19,292 --> 00:13:22,536 No, but to be fair my men are women. 312 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,249 Oh. 313 00:13:29,423 --> 00:13:31,425 You're a vagiterian. 314 00:13:35,669 --> 00:13:37,367 Question, 315 00:13:37,391 --> 00:13:40,570 are you permanently parked in the lesbian zone 316 00:13:40,594 --> 00:13:44,134 or do you move your car to alternate sides 317 00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:46,760 of the street from time to time for plowing? 318 00:13:50,324 --> 00:13:52,703 This car is parked up on blocks 319 00:13:52,727 --> 00:13:54,817 with 100 tickets on the windshield. 320 00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:57,668 [SIGHS] 321 00:13:57,692 --> 00:13:59,470 Boils my blood! 322 00:13:59,494 --> 00:14:02,256 They still give tickets for being gay! 323 00:14:03,297 --> 00:14:05,796 Karen, I don't mean to judge but... 324 00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:08,239 look, if you're always taking care of some guy, 325 00:14:08,263 --> 00:14:10,321 who takes care of you? 326 00:14:10,345 --> 00:14:12,467 Besides pharmacists? 327 00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:19,424 I don't know, I guess most of my life, 328 00:14:19,449 --> 00:14:21,451 I've taken care of myself. 329 00:14:22,757 --> 00:14:24,880 Looks like we have more in common than I thought. 330 00:14:26,842 --> 00:14:29,981 Look, we know everything. So no more lies. 331 00:14:30,005 --> 00:14:32,544 Six months, you've been telling me to take a leap, 332 00:14:32,568 --> 00:14:35,386 open up, and when I finally do, you lie to me? 333 00:14:35,410 --> 00:14:36,828 I'm sorry, it's just... 334 00:14:36,852 --> 00:14:38,710 No, you know what? Any excuse you're about to say 335 00:14:38,734 --> 00:14:40,832 I've used a thousand times, so save it. 336 00:14:40,856 --> 00:14:42,354 Grace, make a choice. 337 00:14:42,378 --> 00:14:45,076 We either move forward in this relationship or we don't. 338 00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:48,680 Same here. We either move in together or we're done. 339 00:14:48,704 --> 00:14:50,866 I'll do anything you want. Don't leave me. 340 00:14:52,128 --> 00:14:54,130 [YELLING] Am I making myself clear?! 341 00:14:56,672 --> 00:14:58,370 Can Will and I just have a minute? 342 00:14:58,394 --> 00:15:01,373 - Okay, one minute. - Yeah, one minute! 343 00:15:01,397 --> 00:15:03,856 Take your time. I'm not going anywhere. 344 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,430 One minute! 345 00:15:11,287 --> 00:15:13,225 This whole comfortable thing we came up with? 346 00:15:13,249 --> 00:15:14,547 Complete crap. 347 00:15:14,571 --> 00:15:16,148 We were just using each other as an excuse. 348 00:15:16,172 --> 00:15:17,990 So what? Do we... 349 00:15:18,014 --> 00:15:20,377 do we go back there and say yes? 350 00:15:21,418 --> 00:15:23,876 Seems kind of fast, they gave us a minute. 351 00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:27,464 We should probably do stuff like... like this. 352 00:15:28,625 --> 00:15:31,308 It's like we're balancing our options. 353 00:15:32,189 --> 00:15:34,808 Okay, and... and... and then I'll... I'll point to myself. 354 00:15:34,832 --> 00:15:35,832 Uh-huh. 355 00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:37,795 - Then I'll point to you. - Mm-hmm. 356 00:15:39,156 --> 00:15:41,049 Then I'll point to myself again. 357 00:15:41,599 --> 00:15:44,297 And then I'll be, like, "Why didn't I think of that? 358 00:15:44,321 --> 00:15:46,019 Like why didn't that go in here?" 359 00:15:46,043 --> 00:15:48,782 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - That in here. That in here. 360 00:15:48,806 --> 00:15:51,184 What do you think they're talking about? 361 00:15:51,208 --> 00:15:52,477 Nothing. 362 00:15:56,294 --> 00:15:57,398 Ready? 363 00:15:58,336 --> 00:16:00,314 Uh, okay. 364 00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:02,156 We made our decision. 365 00:16:02,180 --> 00:16:03,677 We're moving in with you. 366 00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,399 I feel so excited about this! 367 00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:06,921 [BOTH YELLING EXCITEDLY] 368 00:16:06,945 --> 00:16:08,963 They're moving in with us! 369 00:16:08,987 --> 00:16:10,444 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 370 00:16:10,468 --> 00:16:12,326 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 371 00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:14,088 Hey, here's an idea. How about we switch? 372 00:16:14,112 --> 00:16:15,529 Oh, right. 373 00:16:15,553 --> 00:16:17,371 [YELLING EXCITEDLY] 374 00:16:17,395 --> 00:16:19,918 ♪ ♪ 375 00:16:21,349 --> 00:16:23,892 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 376 00:16:23,923 --> 00:16:26,341 This is so crazy. 377 00:16:26,365 --> 00:16:27,623 So how have you been? 378 00:16:27,647 --> 00:16:30,065 Yeah, I've been, you know, okay. 379 00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,828 I've got to be honest with you though, I've, um... 380 00:16:32,852 --> 00:16:34,590 I never stopped thinking about you. 381 00:16:34,614 --> 00:16:36,472 Well, of course. 382 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,498 [ZIPPING] 383 00:16:40,059 --> 00:16:41,597 You probably read the reviews 384 00:16:41,621 --> 00:16:43,863 of my new show "Gaybraham Twinkin'." 385 00:16:44,944 --> 00:16:46,362 "Timeout New York" said, 386 00:16:46,386 --> 00:16:49,685 "Hopefully, the only gay Abraham Lincoln musical 387 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,369 we'll ever see." 388 00:16:56,636 --> 00:16:58,775 Jack, I... I... come here. 389 00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:00,937 I made a huge mistake. 390 00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:02,739 I should've never broken up with you. 391 00:17:02,763 --> 00:17:05,422 Drew, I... I... 392 00:17:05,446 --> 00:17:07,143 I'm getting married. 393 00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:09,466 I mean, I was married when we first met. 394 00:17:09,490 --> 00:17:11,492 Yeah, to a woman. 395 00:17:11,892 --> 00:17:13,270 That doesn't count. 396 00:17:13,294 --> 00:17:14,871 It's just a way to share health insurance 397 00:17:14,895 --> 00:17:16,561 and double your wardrobe. 398 00:17:17,658 --> 00:17:19,740 Tell me you haven't thought about me. 399 00:17:20,701 --> 00:17:22,279 I have. 400 00:17:22,303 --> 00:17:25,322 I've had this exact dream so many times! 401 00:17:25,346 --> 00:17:28,189 Except we weren't in an elevator. 402 00:17:29,350 --> 00:17:30,687 This isn't a dream. 403 00:17:30,711 --> 00:17:32,369 You know, I'm here right now 404 00:17:32,393 --> 00:17:34,491 and, uh... 405 00:17:34,515 --> 00:17:36,133 my gay cop instincts are telling me 406 00:17:36,157 --> 00:17:39,096 to charge you with intent to get frisky. 407 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,659 Tell me, Officer, what's the punishment 408 00:17:41,683 --> 00:17:43,821 for aggravated hanky-panky? 409 00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:45,967 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 410 00:17:49,411 --> 00:17:50,548 [RADIO STATIC] 411 00:17:50,572 --> 00:17:51,669 Everything okay down there? 412 00:17:51,693 --> 00:17:52,990 Yeah, yeah, um, 413 00:17:53,014 --> 00:17:55,153 uh, yeah, no need for backup 414 00:17:55,177 --> 00:17:57,275 and if you hear anything that sounds like kissing, 415 00:17:57,299 --> 00:17:58,836 it's, um... 416 00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,646 it's probably not kissing. 417 00:18:01,743 --> 00:18:03,107 So... 418 00:18:04,146 --> 00:18:05,964 What do you say? 419 00:18:05,988 --> 00:18:09,007 This... this doesn't mean we're getting back together. 420 00:18:09,031 --> 00:18:10,168 Okay. 421 00:18:10,192 --> 00:18:13,291 Because I... I'm not calling off my wedding. 422 00:18:13,315 --> 00:18:14,372 Okay. 423 00:18:14,396 --> 00:18:16,415 I'm just a man 424 00:18:16,439 --> 00:18:19,378 towering over a smaller man 425 00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:21,820 trying to listen to what his heart says. 426 00:18:21,844 --> 00:18:23,846 What does his heart say? 427 00:18:24,447 --> 00:18:26,130 His heart says... 428 00:18:28,531 --> 00:18:30,709 Not to be this guy anymore. 429 00:18:30,927 --> 00:18:32,428 What guy? 430 00:18:33,056 --> 00:18:34,994 The guy that... [SCOFFS] 431 00:18:35,018 --> 00:18:36,916 takes the first opportunity to cheat 432 00:18:36,940 --> 00:18:40,199 when the perfect man drops from the sky. 433 00:18:40,223 --> 00:18:42,001 I'm sorry, Drew. 434 00:18:42,025 --> 00:18:44,243 No one can tempt me more than you. 435 00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:48,736 You're a delicious, cocoa-sized mini-marshmallow 436 00:18:49,472 --> 00:18:51,795 but love has changed me. 437 00:18:53,397 --> 00:18:55,094 I guess the men I've been with 438 00:18:55,118 --> 00:18:57,617 feel like I can take care of myself. 439 00:18:57,641 --> 00:19:02,806 Given some of my lovers, I've had to take care of myself. 440 00:19:03,607 --> 00:19:04,944 [CHUCKLES] 441 00:19:04,968 --> 00:19:07,131 If you know what I'm talking about. 442 00:19:08,032 --> 00:19:09,054 I do. 443 00:19:09,079 --> 00:19:14,218 I'm talking about making my Venus feel Serena. 444 00:19:15,139 --> 00:19:18,743 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 445 00:19:19,343 --> 00:19:21,481 Mm-hmm. 446 00:19:21,505 --> 00:19:23,437 Did not see that one coming. 447 00:19:25,109 --> 00:19:27,568 Well, but you know what they say, 448 00:19:27,592 --> 00:19:31,932 in every relationship, there's a gardener and a flower. 449 00:19:31,956 --> 00:19:33,814 Guess I'm the gardener. 450 00:19:33,838 --> 00:19:35,856 - Oh, come on. - What? 451 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,163 You're a flower if I've ever seen one. 452 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,663 You think I'm a flower? 453 00:19:41,406 --> 00:19:42,863 Definitely. 454 00:19:42,887 --> 00:19:45,290 And you deserve to be taken care of. 455 00:19:47,012 --> 00:19:49,951 Hey, it stopped snowing. 456 00:19:49,975 --> 00:19:51,392 Uh, guess you can call your pilot. 457 00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:53,779 I have never said that sentence before. 458 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,438 Yeah. 459 00:19:57,462 --> 00:20:01,162 I guess I could, but I don't think I will. 460 00:20:01,186 --> 00:20:02,186 Why? 461 00:20:02,187 --> 00:20:03,936 Because right now 462 00:20:04,630 --> 00:20:07,112 I feel very taken care of. 463 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:15,074 464 00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:20,369 Oh, girl. 465 00:20:22,648 --> 00:20:25,627 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 466 00:20:25,651 --> 00:20:27,669 ♪ ♪ 467 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:30,136 Hey, scoot! Grace is coming over! 468 00:20:31,457 --> 00:20:34,196 Of course, but when she actually moves out, 469 00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,639 she won't be here all the time, right? 470 00:20:36,663 --> 00:20:38,905 It's cute that you'd ask that. 471 00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:42,204 Hi! 472 00:20:42,228 --> 00:20:45,888 Uh, in bed with gay guys. If I had a nickel. 473 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,435 [CHUCKLES] 474 00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:50,893 [CHUCKLES] 475 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,695 Why am I not surprised? 476 00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:55,402 Climb in, Noah. It's so cozy. 477 00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,525 Yeah, all right. 477 00:20:59,305 --> 00:21:05,919 Craving big poker? Feast your eyes on Venom. $5 million GTD. AmericasCardroom.com 32617

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