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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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(THUNDER CRASHING)
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(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
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Hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on.
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00:00:25,507 --> 00:00:27,140
(THUNDER CRASHING)
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00:00:27,142 --> 00:00:30,110
For those of you who
don't go to the movies
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00:00:30,112 --> 00:00:32,514
or to the theater
or watch television,
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00:00:33,514 --> 00:00:35,582
let me introduce myself.
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My name is Peter O'Toole.
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(GUITAR STRING TWANGS)
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Quite.
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For one reason or another,
the motion picture
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00:00:46,527 --> 00:00:50,629
you are about to watch is
not very clear in parts.
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00:00:50,631 --> 00:00:53,132
As a matter of fact, it
was made to demonstrate
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how not to make a motion picture
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00:00:55,471 --> 00:00:58,708
and at the same time
win an Academy Award.
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00:01:00,042 --> 00:01:02,074
In fact, Solomon
at the front office
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00:01:02,076 --> 00:01:03,643
has thought the occasional word
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00:01:03,645 --> 00:01:06,579
from me might clarify the plot
20
00:01:06,581 --> 00:01:10,216
and any other vague
portions of the film.
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In my view, fat chance.
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Still, if you're sitting
comfortably, let us begin.
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(THUNDER CRASHING)
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(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
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(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
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(WOMAN SCREECHING)
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(BLUEGRASS MUSIC)
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Now, ladies and gentlemen,
this is the beginning
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00:01:56,565 --> 00:01:59,266
of the journey in
which two brothers,
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Oliver and Stanley Rosenblum,
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00:02:02,538 --> 00:02:05,041
make their way to a mythical
place called El Dorado,
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00:02:07,175 --> 00:02:10,743
as depicted in the poem
by Edgar Allan Poe.
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But first, they have to appear
at the Las Vegas amphitheater
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00:02:15,550 --> 00:02:17,951
for a very strange group.
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Well I hardly know
how to describe.
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00:02:19,854 --> 00:02:20,923
Whatever, you'll see.
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00:02:23,792 --> 00:02:26,229
(JAZZ MUSIC)
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Good evening
ladies and gentlemen,
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00:02:30,632 --> 00:02:32,197
and welcome to the
Nevada Amphitheater
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00:02:32,199 --> 00:02:33,666
in downtown Las Vegas.
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00:02:33,668 --> 00:02:37,036
Well here it is the
late '70s going on 1985.
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00:02:37,038 --> 00:02:38,672
You know most of the
music we hear today
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00:02:38,674 --> 00:02:41,708
is nothing more than
pre-programmed electronic disco.
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00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:43,275
We very rarely get
a chance to hear
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00:02:43,277 --> 00:02:45,879
master blues men practicing
their craft anymore.
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By the year 2020, the
music known as the blues
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00:02:48,015 --> 00:02:50,249
will only exist in the
classical record department
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00:02:50,251 --> 00:02:51,718
of your local library.
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00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,153
So while we still can,
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00:02:53,155 --> 00:02:55,721
please welcome from Rock
Island, Illinois the blues music
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00:02:55,723 --> 00:02:57,592
of Oliver and Stanley Rosenblum:
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00:02:58,727 --> 00:03:00,292
The Jews brothers.
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00:03:00,294 --> 00:03:03,630
(PIANO GLISSANDO)
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00:03:03,632 --> 00:03:05,098
GROUP: Shit!
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Get to the Jew boys!
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00:03:07,369 --> 00:03:09,205
CROWD: Sieg Heil!
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(MAN YELLING)
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00:03:18,714 --> 00:03:21,217
(CAR REVVING)
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00:03:23,685 --> 00:03:24,316
(GUNS FIRING)
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00:03:24,318 --> 00:03:26,988
(MEN YELLING)
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00:03:32,761 --> 00:03:35,330
(CARS REVVING)
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00:03:36,632 --> 00:03:41,166
("RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES"
BY RICHARD WAGNUR)
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00:03:41,168 --> 00:03:43,636
I want those Jews
brothers roasting
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00:03:43,638 --> 00:03:45,672
on a German spit, yeah.
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00:03:45,674 --> 00:03:47,641
This is America
land of the free,
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00:03:47,643 --> 00:03:50,275
and I want them
free and over easy.
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00:03:50,277 --> 00:03:52,715
(LAUGHING)
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00:03:58,085 --> 00:03:59,351
(AIR FLAPPING)
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00:03:59,353 --> 00:04:01,921
Why are we performing
to neo-Nazis, Oliver?
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00:04:01,923 --> 00:04:04,423
OLIVER: It was supposed
to be a bar mitzvah, Stanley.
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00:04:04,425 --> 00:04:05,595
Whose?
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00:04:07,128 --> 00:04:10,362
Do you think they're
firing real bullets at us?
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00:04:10,364 --> 00:04:12,999
Does that answer
your question?
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00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:15,938
(TIRES SCREECHING)
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00:04:23,345 --> 00:04:25,847
(MAN YELLING)
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00:04:28,984 --> 00:04:31,320
(MAN YELLING)
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MAN: I've been shot!
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00:04:40,195 --> 00:04:41,761
Are we going to
the casino, Oliver?
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00:04:41,763 --> 00:04:42,896
With what?
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00:04:42,898 --> 00:04:44,330
Didn't we get paid
from the last gig?
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00:04:44,332 --> 00:04:45,999
I don't think any
California neo-Nazi party
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00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:48,100
were interested in paying
for any form of entertainment
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00:04:48,102 --> 00:04:50,335
from two Jewish entertainers,
Stanley, do you?
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00:04:50,337 --> 00:04:52,004
Maybe not, Ollie.
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(MAN MUMBLING)
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(BLOWS)
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00:04:56,344 --> 00:04:59,179
(CHUCKLING)
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00:04:59,181 --> 00:05:01,417
Wanna have some fun, huh?
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00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:05,287
(CAR DOOR SLAMMING)
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00:05:07,455 --> 00:05:10,290
(CHANGE JINGLING)
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00:05:10,292 --> 00:05:12,895
(BELL DINGING)
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00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:19,432
(PHONE RINGING)
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00:05:19,434 --> 00:05:22,501
(MAN LAUGHING MANICALLY)
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00:05:22,503 --> 00:05:23,836
Hello!
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00:05:23,838 --> 00:05:26,773
JJ Hamilton, an
agency for the, hello?
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00:05:26,775 --> 00:05:27,973
Hello!
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00:05:27,975 --> 00:05:29,477
This can't be a prank
phone call, I (LAUGHS).
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00:05:33,448 --> 00:05:34,747
Hello?
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00:05:34,749 --> 00:05:36,949
JJ Hamilton, Agency
for Gifted People!
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00:05:36,951 --> 00:05:38,852
So what about people
without a bullet proof vest?
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00:05:38,854 --> 00:05:40,252
What?
102
00:05:40,254 --> 00:05:42,088
JJ, can you hear me?
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00:05:42,090 --> 00:05:43,556
Yeah, I can hear you.
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00:05:43,558 --> 00:05:44,456
Who is that?
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00:05:44,458 --> 00:05:46,191
It's Oliver Rosenblum.
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00:05:46,193 --> 00:05:47,427
- Who?
- Oliver Rosenblum.
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00:05:47,429 --> 00:05:49,028
From the Jews brothers.
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00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:50,028
Oliver!
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00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:51,864
Oliver, how's my
favorite client?
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00:05:51,866 --> 00:05:53,165
How's the show going?
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00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:55,201
JJ, we were fired at.
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00:05:55,203 --> 00:05:56,502
No problem, don't worry.
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00:05:56,504 --> 00:05:58,872
Even the best of 'em get
fired once and a while.
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00:05:58,874 --> 00:06:00,239
- It happens.
- No, JJ.
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00:06:00,241 --> 00:06:01,775
We were shot at.
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00:06:01,777 --> 00:06:02,775
Shot at?
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00:06:02,777 --> 00:06:04,410
What kind of bat
mitzvah is this?
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00:06:04,412 --> 00:06:05,511
There was no bat mitzvah, JJ.
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00:06:05,513 --> 00:06:07,179
The roasting these
guys wanted to do
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00:06:07,181 --> 00:06:08,514
was of me and Stan.
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00:06:08,516 --> 00:06:09,314
(JJ MUTTERING)
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00:06:09,316 --> 00:06:10,249
(PHONE RINGING)
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00:06:10,251 --> 00:06:11,384
Whoa, hold on there, Oliver.
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00:06:11,386 --> 00:06:12,552
I got another call.
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00:06:12,554 --> 00:06:14,987
JJ, we need to
get some work quick.
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00:06:14,989 --> 00:06:16,790
Just a second, okay?
127
00:06:16,792 --> 00:06:19,191
Just stay on the line,
okay, stay on the line.
128
00:06:19,193 --> 00:06:21,393
I'm very busy, but I
always have time for you.
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00:06:21,395 --> 00:06:23,295
Just stay on the line.
130
00:06:23,297 --> 00:06:25,465
Hello, hello, hello!
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00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:27,566
Agency for the Stars.
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00:06:27,568 --> 00:06:30,270
JJ, is that you, you asshole?
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00:06:30,272 --> 00:06:31,336
What's wrong, Leslie?
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00:06:31,338 --> 00:06:32,437
What's wrong?
135
00:06:32,439 --> 00:06:34,506
You've done it again.
136
00:06:34,508 --> 00:06:35,809
I thought you were sending me
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00:06:35,811 --> 00:06:37,910
to some kinky Nazi
party convention.
138
00:06:37,912 --> 00:06:40,246
I get there and this guy
starts giving me shit
139
00:06:40,248 --> 00:06:42,816
because I tossed my
G-string into the fountain,
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00:06:42,818 --> 00:06:45,951
the same time as they dip a
baby's head into the basin.
141
00:06:45,953 --> 00:06:48,321
How did I know it
was a bat mitzvah?
142
00:06:48,323 --> 00:06:50,189
I thought the stage was done
for something a little hinky,
143
00:06:50,191 --> 00:06:52,424
a bit of water sports maybe.
144
00:06:52,426 --> 00:06:53,559
I don't know about bat mitzvahs.
145
00:06:53,561 --> 00:06:55,828
I'm a stripper, JJ.
146
00:06:55,830 --> 00:06:57,963
They wanted a Blues
Brothers tribute act.
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00:06:57,965 --> 00:06:59,264
A Jewish which Blues Brothers,
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00:06:59,266 --> 00:07:02,035
like those other
assholes you represent?
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00:07:02,037 --> 00:07:05,441
Leslie, now Stanley and Oliver
are professional musicians.
150
00:07:06,941 --> 00:07:09,174
Well it's my pink pussy
that makes you the money.
151
00:07:09,176 --> 00:07:10,212
Remember that, JJ.
152
00:07:11,378 --> 00:07:13,312
How am I gonna sing
the blues with my tits?
153
00:07:13,314 --> 00:07:14,547
Hold on, Lesllie.
154
00:07:14,549 --> 00:07:16,148
Maybe I can find
ya something else.
155
00:07:16,150 --> 00:07:17,917
(LAUGHING)
That's it!
156
00:07:17,919 --> 00:07:20,153
I think I found the
ideal gig for both of ya.
157
00:07:20,155 --> 00:07:22,622
They want a stripper and a band,
158
00:07:22,624 --> 00:07:23,989
and I think you can even take
159
00:07:23,991 --> 00:07:25,490
your half-wit boyfriend with ya.
160
00:07:25,492 --> 00:07:27,559
Now listen, listen
hard and listen quick.
161
00:07:27,561 --> 00:07:31,030
I want you to make a
left on route 66, okay?
162
00:07:31,032 --> 00:07:33,198
That's right near Boon's
Diner and Gas Station,
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00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,201
but don't be late, they
want you for dinner.
164
00:07:35,203 --> 00:07:36,501
Okay, Leslie, gotta go.
165
00:07:36,503 --> 00:07:37,569
Bye bye, bye bye.
166
00:07:37,571 --> 00:07:38,403
(JJ MAKING KISSY NOISES)
167
00:07:38,405 --> 00:07:39,240
- Mwah!
- JJ!
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00:07:40,107 --> 00:07:41,609
Yeah, Oliver, Oliver.
169
00:07:42,544 --> 00:07:43,946
Oliver, my boy.
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00:07:44,946 --> 00:07:46,379
I don't know how you did it,
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00:07:46,381 --> 00:07:49,415
but somehow you got mixed
up at Leslie's show.
172
00:07:49,417 --> 00:07:50,549
Well, I didn't
make the booking.
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00:07:50,551 --> 00:07:52,417
No, no you didn't.
174
00:07:52,419 --> 00:07:54,153
But I think I got a
winner for ya here.
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00:07:54,155 --> 00:07:55,590
Are you sure this time?
176
00:07:56,290 --> 00:07:57,590
Would I lie to ya, Ollie?
177
00:07:57,592 --> 00:07:59,492
Come on, I got you covered.
178
00:07:59,494 --> 00:08:02,194
It's the same show as
Leslie, different night.
179
00:08:02,196 --> 00:08:04,532
Okay, take down the details.
180
00:08:05,667 --> 00:08:09,335
So, as Oliver and
Stanley get the address
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00:08:09,337 --> 00:08:12,071
to their next who in El Dorado,
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00:08:12,073 --> 00:08:15,908
unknown to them, someone else
who will cross their path
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00:08:15,910 --> 00:08:20,112
is making a surprise
return visit to her husband
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00:08:20,114 --> 00:08:24,650
on the other side of town
at a strip club called
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00:08:24,652 --> 00:08:26,455
the Vertical Smile.
186
00:08:27,989 --> 00:08:32,994
Yeah, this is what you
call matrimonial bliss.
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00:08:34,162 --> 00:08:35,631
You better come
and do that now.
188
00:08:37,398 --> 00:08:38,631
What's going on?
189
00:08:38,633 --> 00:08:39,535
Who is she, Roy?
190
00:08:40,601 --> 00:08:42,470
What are you
talking about, Darlin?
191
00:08:44,705 --> 00:08:45,874
Get up.
192
00:08:49,109 --> 00:08:52,214
You'll need that to take the
taste away before you leave.
193
00:08:55,517 --> 00:08:57,583
Ah, sweetie pie.
194
00:08:57,585 --> 00:09:00,285
It was only a
slight indiscretion.
195
00:09:00,287 --> 00:09:01,123
Come back!
196
00:09:04,258 --> 00:09:06,626
Meanwhile the boys are finding
197
00:09:06,628 --> 00:09:09,661
that getting to El
Dorado is not easy,
198
00:09:09,663 --> 00:09:14,232
even after getting shot at
by neo-Nazis and ex-wives.
199
00:09:14,234 --> 00:09:17,270
So the question is,
what else can happen?
200
00:09:17,272 --> 00:09:19,005
- (POPPING)
- What the hell was that?
201
00:09:19,007 --> 00:09:20,305
OLIVER: We have a flat.
202
00:09:20,307 --> 00:09:21,240
STANLEY: What, again?
203
00:09:21,242 --> 00:09:24,079
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)
204
00:09:34,556 --> 00:09:37,490
Now we have the scene
where the spurned wife
205
00:09:37,492 --> 00:09:41,361
meets our heroes down
that dusty back road
206
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,663
leading to El Dorado.
207
00:09:43,665 --> 00:09:46,735
Is she the good
Samaritan they need?
208
00:09:49,704 --> 00:09:51,069
(SQUEAKING)
209
00:09:51,071 --> 00:09:52,273
STANLEY: Ow!
210
00:09:53,675 --> 00:09:56,011
(WHISTLING)
211
00:10:20,634 --> 00:10:23,138
(WHISTLING)
212
00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:27,008
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)
213
00:10:55,135 --> 00:10:56,836
Where the hell are you going?
214
00:10:56,838 --> 00:10:58,374
I think I can see something?
215
00:11:00,808 --> 00:11:03,711
(OMINOUS CRESCENDO)
216
00:11:18,759 --> 00:11:21,763
(MEN PASSING GAS)
217
00:11:35,176 --> 00:11:36,409
Hoo!
218
00:11:36,411 --> 00:11:39,478
Who was eating them
goddamned beans again?
219
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,316
(WOMAN CHUCKLING)
220
00:11:46,588 --> 00:11:49,291
(SHOES SCUFFING)
221
00:11:51,625 --> 00:11:52,791
So where the
hell have you been?
222
00:11:52,793 --> 00:11:54,861
I think I found some help.
223
00:11:54,863 --> 00:11:55,862
Where?
224
00:11:55,864 --> 00:11:56,728
There, in the desert.
225
00:11:56,730 --> 00:11:58,131
There's about 50 of them.
226
00:11:58,133 --> 00:12:00,532
They look like good ole boys.
227
00:12:00,534 --> 00:12:02,200
We don't need
any help, Stanley.
228
00:12:02,202 --> 00:12:03,805
The car's fixed; let's go.
229
00:12:05,406 --> 00:12:08,410
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
230
00:12:12,614 --> 00:12:13,679
Shit.
231
00:12:13,681 --> 00:12:14,881
Well, what's wrong, Ollie?
232
00:12:14,883 --> 00:12:17,349
We've ran out of gas.
233
00:12:17,851 --> 00:12:20,152
Looks like we've got a
hole in our tank, Stanley.
234
00:12:20,154 --> 00:12:22,420
I can fix it, but we
ain't got any gas.
235
00:12:22,422 --> 00:12:23,892
Well, what are we gonna do?
236
00:12:25,159 --> 00:12:27,160
You better show me where
those good ole boys are.
237
00:12:27,162 --> 00:12:28,397
I just hope we don't get raped.
238
00:12:33,401 --> 00:12:34,867
Well they look all right.
239
00:12:34,869 --> 00:12:36,839
Well looks can be
deceiving, Stanley.
240
00:12:38,605 --> 00:12:40,609
They sure can, boys.
241
00:12:44,811 --> 00:12:47,246
What are these dudes wearing?
242
00:12:47,248 --> 00:12:49,549
Are they supposed
to be undertakers?
243
00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,817
We're the Jews Brothers.
244
00:12:51,819 --> 00:12:53,319
Jews Brothers?
245
00:12:53,321 --> 00:12:56,856
Shit, look more like
the ugly brothers to me.
246
00:12:56,858 --> 00:12:59,992
You make fun of me,
you ugly son of a bitch?
247
00:12:59,994 --> 00:13:03,462
My brother will whip your ass.
248
00:13:03,464 --> 00:13:04,796
Is that a fact?
249
00:13:04,798 --> 00:13:06,766
He's speaking for himself.
250
00:13:06,768 --> 00:13:08,867
That's not what
short-stop said,
251
00:13:08,869 --> 00:13:10,402
is it short-stop?
252
00:13:10,404 --> 00:13:11,603
Let me have him.
253
00:13:11,605 --> 00:13:14,740
I could do with the exercise.
254
00:13:14,742 --> 00:13:16,675
(LAUGHING WICKEDLY)
255
00:13:16,677 --> 00:13:18,813
- I'm a lover, not a fighter.
- Good!
256
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:24,916
You'll fuck first, then you
can fight for your life.
257
00:13:24,918 --> 00:13:25,785
(HONKING)
258
00:13:25,787 --> 00:13:28,721
- Strip, big boy.
- What?
259
00:13:28,723 --> 00:13:29,921
You heard the lady.
260
00:13:29,923 --> 00:13:31,656
Get your duds off.
261
00:13:31,658 --> 00:13:33,928
(ROCK MUSIC)
262
00:15:12,726 --> 00:15:14,395
You got off lightly, stranger.
263
00:15:15,562 --> 00:15:17,063
But remember we
don't wanna see you
264
00:15:17,065 --> 00:15:17,963
around these parts again.
265
00:15:17,965 --> 00:15:19,700
You understand?
266
00:15:21,835 --> 00:15:25,574
(MOTORCYCLE ENGINE RUMBLING)
267
00:15:39,686 --> 00:15:40,920
Yo, Stanley.
268
00:15:40,922 --> 00:15:42,454
Don't drop rubbish on the floor.
269
00:15:42,456 --> 00:15:43,859
Aren't we in enough trouble?
270
00:15:48,995 --> 00:15:51,030
WOMAN: Are you guys lost?
271
00:15:51,032 --> 00:15:52,030
Well, we've been kidnapped.
272
00:15:52,032 --> 00:15:52,964
Kidnapped?
273
00:15:52,966 --> 00:15:54,635
Yeah, it's a long story.
274
00:15:55,736 --> 00:15:57,035
Could you give us a lift?
275
00:15:57,037 --> 00:15:59,104
- Where to?
- About 20 miles that way.
276
00:15:59,106 --> 00:16:00,705
Sure can, why
don't you get on in.
277
00:16:00,707 --> 00:16:03,044
(TWANGY MUSIC)
278
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:15,854
You boys all
ready for the feast?
279
00:16:15,856 --> 00:16:17,790
Sure am, Mayor.
280
00:16:17,792 --> 00:16:18,958
- Sure am.
- Very nice, Tommy.
281
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,659
What you got there?
282
00:16:20,661 --> 00:16:22,428
Don't hide it, don't hide it.
283
00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:23,728
It's nipples, sure enough.
284
00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:25,964
I like to suck on a
teat now and then.
285
00:16:25,966 --> 00:16:26,998
(GIGGLES)
286
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,733
Hmm, very tasty.
287
00:16:28,735 --> 00:16:30,571
Very tasty, isn't
that right, Lemmas?
288
00:16:32,105 --> 00:16:34,173
But how do you know
they're female?
289
00:16:34,175 --> 00:16:36,442
They're the ones
without the hair attached,
290
00:16:36,444 --> 00:16:37,675
can't you tell?
291
00:16:37,677 --> 00:16:38,777
(TOMMY GIGGLES)
292
00:16:38,779 --> 00:16:39,612
Well said, Tommy.
293
00:16:39,614 --> 00:16:40,813
Very well said.
294
00:16:40,815 --> 00:16:43,149
I do like the taste
of shortbreads.
295
00:16:43,151 --> 00:16:46,017
Can't beat the sound of
that plop in your mouth
296
00:16:46,019 --> 00:16:48,087
when you bite in that ball.
297
00:16:48,089 --> 00:16:49,421
(CHUCKLES)
298
00:16:49,423 --> 00:16:50,925
Delicious, eh Lemmas?
299
00:16:52,192 --> 00:16:54,727
Look, all ready
for the festival.
300
00:16:54,729 --> 00:16:56,728
(TOMMY LAUGHING)
301
00:16:56,730 --> 00:16:57,997
You got a nice
little something
302
00:16:57,999 --> 00:17:00,402
I could take home for my
dinner tonight, Lemmas?
303
00:17:05,005 --> 00:17:05,840
Hold on.
304
00:17:12,513 --> 00:17:14,146
What's your fancy, Mayor?
305
00:17:14,148 --> 00:17:16,147
I bit kinder, you
know how Ma Louise
306
00:17:16,149 --> 00:17:19,018
likes a nice bit of
lean breast, no fat.
307
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:19,921
Coming right up.
308
00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:23,489
(WOMAN GROANING)
309
00:17:23,491 --> 00:17:26,128
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
310
00:17:27,128 --> 00:17:29,398
She does carry on
a bit, don't she?
311
00:17:30,831 --> 00:17:33,467
(TWANGY MUSIC)
312
00:17:44,212 --> 00:17:45,144
♪ Dressed in black ♪
313
00:17:45,146 --> 00:17:46,110
♪ Looking fine ♪
314
00:17:46,112 --> 00:17:48,681
♪ And walking real smooth ♪
315
00:17:48,683 --> 00:17:49,581
♪ On the town ♪
316
00:17:49,583 --> 00:17:50,782
♪ On the prowl ♪
317
00:17:50,784 --> 00:17:53,184
♪ No way they could lose ♪
318
00:17:53,186 --> 00:17:54,185
♪ Here they go ♪
319
00:17:54,187 --> 00:17:55,521
♪ On the way ♪
320
00:17:55,523 --> 00:17:57,755
♪ You better stay clear ♪
321
00:17:57,757 --> 00:17:58,924
♪ Dressed in black ♪
322
00:17:58,926 --> 00:17:59,992
♪ Looking fine ♪
323
00:17:59,994 --> 00:18:02,728
♪ Now here comes the fear ♪
324
00:18:02,730 --> 00:18:04,530
♪ Here they go, on their way ♪
325
00:18:04,532 --> 00:18:06,932
♪ You'd better stay clear ♪
326
00:18:06,934 --> 00:18:08,067
♪ Dressed in black ♪
327
00:18:08,069 --> 00:18:09,134
♪ Looking fine ♪
328
00:18:09,136 --> 00:18:11,569
♪ Now here comes the fear ♪
329
00:18:11,571 --> 00:18:14,443
♪ Dressed in black ♪
330
00:18:34,128 --> 00:18:36,531
(JAZZ MUSIC)
331
00:18:41,034 --> 00:18:43,601
(PHONE RINGING)
332
00:18:43,603 --> 00:18:44,970
Darling!
333
00:18:44,972 --> 00:18:49,140
Nothing was happening, I swear.
334
00:18:49,142 --> 00:18:52,043
Why would I want
anybody but you?
335
00:18:52,045 --> 00:18:55,981
I can see naked girls
any day of the week,
336
00:18:55,983 --> 00:18:58,220
but it's you that makes
me hard, sweet pea.
337
00:18:59,853 --> 00:19:01,153
Come back.
338
00:19:01,155 --> 00:19:02,523
I wanna give you something.
339
00:19:03,791 --> 00:19:05,624
Please come back.
340
00:19:05,626 --> 00:19:06,291
Ah, don't beg.
341
00:19:06,293 --> 00:19:07,161
It sounds pitiful.
342
00:19:08,763 --> 00:19:10,698
At least let me remember
you the way that you are,
343
00:19:11,565 --> 00:19:13,000
a sniveling little rat.
344
00:19:15,136 --> 00:19:16,638
Oh, and by the way sweetheart.
345
00:19:17,972 --> 00:19:20,242
Do you remember that suitcase
you left in the loft?
346
00:19:21,809 --> 00:19:23,809
What suitcase?
347
00:19:23,811 --> 00:19:25,644
Oh, you know darling.
348
00:19:25,646 --> 00:19:27,279
The nice little silver
one in the cupboard
349
00:19:27,281 --> 00:19:29,315
with all the money in it.
350
00:19:29,317 --> 00:19:30,715
Why don't we call it a payoff
351
00:19:30,717 --> 00:19:32,186
for all the years
that I gave you?
352
00:19:33,286 --> 00:19:34,955
Oh, and by the way, Roy.
353
00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:37,191
Goodbye, sweetheart.
354
00:19:46,833 --> 00:19:49,300
(ROY SCREAMING)
355
00:19:49,302 --> 00:19:50,234
(TOMMY GIGGLING)
356
00:19:50,236 --> 00:19:51,238
You want something, Missy?
357
00:19:52,907 --> 00:19:54,306
Fill up my baby, laughing boy,
358
00:19:54,308 --> 00:19:56,107
and check under
the hood, will you?
359
00:19:56,109 --> 00:19:57,111
Will do.
360
00:19:58,311 --> 00:20:00,178
Is there a packet
of cigarettes there?
361
00:20:00,180 --> 00:20:03,281
Just as soon as I've
sorted out your car.
362
00:20:03,283 --> 00:20:04,282
Great.
363
00:20:04,284 --> 00:20:05,250
You got a wash room?
364
00:20:05,252 --> 00:20:06,751
Out back, wash basin, too.
365
00:20:06,753 --> 00:20:09,253
To cool off in all this heat.
366
00:20:09,255 --> 00:20:11,993
(TOMMY GIGGLING)
367
00:20:17,665 --> 00:20:19,834
See you got a pussy wagon.
368
00:20:20,701 --> 00:20:21,367
(WATER DRIPPING)
369
00:20:21,369 --> 00:20:22,434
(ELECTRICITY HUMMING)
370
00:20:22,436 --> 00:20:24,339
Oh god, what's that smell?
371
00:20:27,241 --> 00:20:28,674
That'll fuck her chances
372
00:20:28,676 --> 00:20:32,310
of getting out of
Death Valley now.
373
00:20:32,312 --> 00:20:34,379
(GIGGLING)
374
00:20:34,381 --> 00:20:35,947
(ELECTRICITY HUMMING)
375
00:20:35,949 --> 00:20:38,686
(WATER DRIPPING)
376
00:20:40,987 --> 00:20:41,855
Ugh, god.
377
00:20:43,323 --> 00:20:46,293
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
378
00:20:50,798 --> 00:20:54,032
(ELECTRICITY HUMMING)
379
00:20:54,034 --> 00:20:56,737
(WATER DRIPPING)
380
00:20:58,171 --> 00:21:01,041
(FOREBODING MUSIC)
381
00:21:14,421 --> 00:21:15,421
(JESSICA SCREAMING)
382
00:21:15,423 --> 00:21:18,991
(TOMMY LAUGHING MANICALLY)
383
00:21:18,993 --> 00:21:21,830
(BLUEGRASS MUSIC)
384
00:21:36,744 --> 00:21:39,278
Meanwhile, back at the
front of the gas station,
385
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,114
Oliver and Stanley
arrive trying to find
386
00:21:42,116 --> 00:21:45,353
the town of El Dorado and
a dentist for Stanley.
387
00:21:46,352 --> 00:21:48,322
What they really need is a map.
388
00:21:50,824 --> 00:21:53,992
(TWANGY MUSIC)
389
00:21:53,994 --> 00:21:55,397
Anyone at home?
390
00:21:56,830 --> 00:21:59,234
Yo, I said is anyone at home?
391
00:22:00,301 --> 00:22:01,336
Maybe we should go?
392
00:22:02,736 --> 00:22:04,168
Go where, Stanley?
393
00:22:04,170 --> 00:22:06,437
We're lost, unless you
know the way to El Dorado?
394
00:22:06,439 --> 00:22:07,940
No.
395
00:22:07,942 --> 00:22:10,309
Stanley, if you don't
know and I don't know,
396
00:22:10,311 --> 00:22:12,310
maybe we should ask
someone who does,
397
00:22:12,312 --> 00:22:13,345
you know what I mean?
398
00:22:13,347 --> 00:22:14,349
Yeah.
399
00:22:17,818 --> 00:22:20,388
Hey, it's the
Soggy Bottom Boys.
400
00:22:22,055 --> 00:22:23,955
The Soggy Bottom Boys shit.
401
00:22:23,957 --> 00:22:26,290
We're the Jews Brothers
from Chicago, Illinois,
402
00:22:26,292 --> 00:22:29,228
and we're looking for the
town called El Dorado, mister.
403
00:22:29,230 --> 00:22:30,995
You don't know
the way, do you?
404
00:22:30,997 --> 00:22:31,930
You bet.
405
00:22:31,932 --> 00:22:33,464
I was born and bred there.
406
00:22:33,466 --> 00:22:35,466
El Dorado, no town like it.
407
00:22:35,468 --> 00:22:40,475
Anyway, it says here you're
the Soggy Bottom Boys.
408
00:22:43,010 --> 00:22:46,377
Now, Sir, do we look like
the Soggy Bottom Boys to you?
409
00:22:46,379 --> 00:22:47,215
You do there.
410
00:22:52,852 --> 00:22:54,488
I think we need
a new agent, Ollie.
411
00:23:00,895 --> 00:23:02,461
Do you have a restroom?
412
00:23:02,463 --> 00:23:03,427
What?
413
00:23:03,429 --> 00:23:05,597
I need to have
a pee, you know.
414
00:23:05,599 --> 00:23:07,432
Oh, it's out of order.
415
00:23:07,434 --> 00:23:08,901
Out of order?
416
00:23:08,903 --> 00:23:13,070
Yeah, something
died in there, hoo!
417
00:23:13,072 --> 00:23:15,072
If I don't find
a restroom fast,
418
00:23:15,074 --> 00:23:16,841
something's gonna die here.
419
00:23:16,843 --> 00:23:18,443
I'm sorry, it's locked.
420
00:23:18,445 --> 00:23:20,849
Oh, I'll find somewhere else.
421
00:23:32,458 --> 00:23:33,992
So, do you know
where El Dorado is?
422
00:23:33,994 --> 00:23:35,493
You bet.
423
00:23:35,495 --> 00:23:38,496
Well would you like to enlighten
me with your knowledge?
424
00:23:38,498 --> 00:23:40,264
It's about four
miles down the road,
425
00:23:40,266 --> 00:23:43,367
and you'll see a sign
post on the left.
426
00:23:43,369 --> 00:23:46,140
(TRUNK SLAMMING)
427
00:23:47,273 --> 00:23:48,473
You wouldn't
know where to find
428
00:23:48,475 --> 00:23:49,875
a good dentist
around these parts?
429
00:23:49,877 --> 00:23:51,409
I sure do, mister.
430
00:23:51,411 --> 00:23:53,412
That'd be Doc Martin.
431
00:23:53,414 --> 00:23:55,848
He's on your way out there,
432
00:23:55,850 --> 00:23:57,918
around 10 miles the
other side of town.
433
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,185
He's a good sort of
bones, old Doc Martin.
434
00:24:01,187 --> 00:24:02,921
And he won't cost
you much, either.
435
00:24:02,923 --> 00:24:04,092
- (GIGGLES)
- Thanks!
436
00:24:07,026 --> 00:24:09,126
So where did you go?
437
00:24:09,128 --> 00:24:10,197
I'll tell ya later.
438
00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:16,937
(HARMONICA MUSIC)
439
00:24:19,473 --> 00:24:21,542
Are you sure this
is the way, Ollie?
440
00:24:22,943 --> 00:24:24,479
That's what it
says on the card.
441
00:24:27,147 --> 00:24:28,416
Oh, my tooth.
442
00:24:34,455 --> 00:24:35,956
I think we found it.
443
00:24:49,302 --> 00:24:51,536
Hey, buddy, we're looking
for the Doc Martin.
444
00:24:51,538 --> 00:24:56,077
Does he live around here?
445
00:25:01,314 --> 00:25:02,282
Who wants him?
446
00:25:04,385 --> 00:25:06,521
My brother needs a
dentist, that's all.
447
00:25:08,955 --> 00:25:10,655
I like you boys,
you pay in cash.
448
00:25:10,657 --> 00:25:13,492
That's a real good way
to start a relationship.
449
00:25:13,494 --> 00:25:18,129
- Will it hurt?
- Ooh, do you want it to?
450
00:25:18,131 --> 00:25:18,966
No!
451
00:25:20,100 --> 00:25:22,567
- Well, you're the customer.
- Ollie!
452
00:25:22,569 --> 00:25:24,202
Nothing to worry
about, my little friend.
453
00:25:24,204 --> 00:25:25,937
I rarely miss that vein,
454
00:25:25,939 --> 00:25:28,272
and if I do, the second
one's on the house.
455
00:25:28,274 --> 00:25:29,509
That's not bad.
456
00:25:31,011 --> 00:25:35,446
(STANLEY BREATHING HEAVILY)
457
00:25:35,448 --> 00:25:37,581
Hold 'em down.
458
00:25:37,583 --> 00:25:40,487
(STANLEY WHIMPERING)
459
00:25:43,357 --> 00:25:45,057
Whoa, oh, oh, oh.
460
00:25:45,059 --> 00:25:45,926
Oh, oh, oh!
461
00:25:47,962 --> 00:25:51,430
Ooh!
462
00:25:51,432 --> 00:25:53,065
Hmmm, I got it.
463
00:25:53,067 --> 00:25:53,902
Oh, oh.
464
00:25:57,571 --> 00:25:59,040
Yeah.
465
00:26:01,207 --> 00:26:03,607
Now get down to
the real business.
466
00:26:03,609 --> 00:26:05,245
This is the part I like.
467
00:26:06,647 --> 00:26:09,181
Kind of like digging for gold.
468
00:26:09,183 --> 00:26:11,015
Hell, you never know
what you're gonna find.
469
00:26:11,017 --> 00:26:13,652
(OLIVER LAUGHING)
470
00:26:13,654 --> 00:26:15,520
I think you'd better
wait in the other room.
471
00:26:15,522 --> 00:26:16,655
That's good.
472
00:26:16,657 --> 00:26:19,023
I get real jumpy around
drills, you know?
473
00:26:19,025 --> 00:26:20,128
Yeah, most people do.
474
00:26:27,033 --> 00:26:28,599
Lots of frillies,
but no money.
475
00:26:28,601 --> 00:26:30,003
Shit, shit, shit!
476
00:26:31,437 --> 00:26:33,704
(PHONE RINGING)
477
00:26:33,706 --> 00:26:35,240
Bobby phone?
478
00:26:35,242 --> 00:26:36,077
Bobby phone?
479
00:26:41,014 --> 00:26:41,648
What?
480
00:26:42,582 --> 00:26:43,647
Jessica, you bitch.
481
00:26:43,649 --> 00:26:45,584
Are you there?
482
00:26:45,586 --> 00:26:47,551
You can't do this to me.
483
00:26:47,553 --> 00:26:49,023
It's my fucking money.
484
00:26:50,123 --> 00:26:51,725
You know who you're
fucking with!
485
00:26:53,127 --> 00:26:55,159
Wrong number, tough guy.
486
00:26:55,161 --> 00:26:57,664
(TOMMY GIGGLES)
487
00:26:59,366 --> 00:27:01,602
(ROCK MUSIC)
488
00:27:18,385 --> 00:27:21,723
(GRUNTING AND GIGGLING)
489
00:27:31,365 --> 00:27:34,301
(LESLIE SCREAMING)
490
00:27:35,569 --> 00:27:37,569
Don't worry little lady.
491
00:27:37,571 --> 00:27:39,741
I haven't forgot about you.
492
00:27:45,378 --> 00:27:46,214
Oh!
493
00:27:48,115 --> 00:27:49,447
Let me see your breasts!
494
00:27:49,449 --> 00:27:52,119
(LESLIE CRYING)
495
00:27:56,657 --> 00:28:00,261
I love to feel the smooth
texture of your skin.
496
00:28:02,161 --> 00:28:04,495
I like to stroke the smooth skin
497
00:28:04,497 --> 00:28:05,732
and firm breasts.
498
00:28:15,609 --> 00:28:16,707
No!
499
00:28:16,709 --> 00:28:19,646
(TOMMY LAUGHING)
500
00:28:24,751 --> 00:28:26,651
You smell real good.
501
00:28:26,653 --> 00:28:28,356
You smell like
dead fish up there.
502
00:28:30,189 --> 00:28:31,490
Were you playing
with your boyfriend
503
00:28:31,492 --> 00:28:33,795
before I found you on the layby?
504
00:28:38,398 --> 00:28:40,635
You won't be performing
at our festival.
505
00:28:41,834 --> 00:28:43,702
You'll be the main course.
506
00:28:43,704 --> 00:28:46,640
(TOMMY LAUGHING)
507
00:28:51,244 --> 00:28:53,244
Don't cry, little girl.
508
00:28:53,246 --> 00:28:54,678
Don't cry.
509
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:58,151
Daddy will only kill
you if you tell a lie.
510
00:28:59,753 --> 00:29:02,790
Let me smell those water
spots between your thighs.
511
00:29:04,457 --> 00:29:07,661
Let me wipe away those tears
from your eyes before you die.
512
00:29:12,832 --> 00:29:14,368
I loved poetry at school.
513
00:29:16,270 --> 00:29:17,105
Can't you tell?
514
00:29:17,905 --> 00:29:21,676
(TOMMY LAUGHING MANICALLY)
515
00:29:25,745 --> 00:29:26,944
No!
516
00:29:26,946 --> 00:29:29,850
(TOMMY WHIMPERING)
517
00:29:36,389 --> 00:29:37,291
Jessica?
518
00:29:38,457 --> 00:29:39,292
Jessica?
519
00:29:40,927 --> 00:29:41,760
You bitch!
520
00:29:41,762 --> 00:29:43,395
You'll pay for that.
521
00:29:43,397 --> 00:29:45,463
(TOMMY COUGHING)
522
00:29:45,465 --> 00:29:47,568
- You'll pay for that.
- No!
523
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:57,211
(SAW ENGINE RUMBLING)
524
00:30:02,782 --> 00:30:05,619
(ALL SCREAMING)
525
00:30:09,889 --> 00:30:12,627
(TOMMY LAUGHING)
526
00:30:21,234 --> 00:30:21,869
Jess?
527
00:30:25,606 --> 00:30:26,440
Jess?
528
00:30:27,340 --> 00:30:28,208
Jess!
529
00:30:29,342 --> 00:30:30,210
Jessica!
530
00:30:33,946 --> 00:30:35,248
Jessica!
531
00:30:38,985 --> 00:30:41,789
(TOMMY PANTING)
532
00:30:43,724 --> 00:30:45,560
Your boyfriend tastes good!
533
00:30:47,927 --> 00:30:49,263
You want a bite?
534
00:30:50,763 --> 00:30:52,931
Ted, it's Roy.
535
00:30:52,933 --> 00:30:53,768
I need your help.
536
00:30:55,369 --> 00:30:57,772
Something has happened and I
don't know who else to turn to.
537
00:30:59,539 --> 00:31:00,340
Thanks.
538
00:31:10,884 --> 00:31:12,483
(POP MUSIC)
539
00:31:12,485 --> 00:31:13,987
What is this shit?
540
00:31:15,421 --> 00:31:17,655
(COUNTRY MUSIC)
541
00:31:17,657 --> 00:31:18,825
That's better.
542
00:31:24,731 --> 00:31:25,866
Your brother'll be fine.
543
00:31:27,868 --> 00:31:29,770
So were you in
Vietnam or what?
544
00:31:30,736 --> 00:31:32,470
Oh yeah, many moons ago.
545
00:31:32,472 --> 00:31:34,306
I mean, I don't
mean to pry, you know?
546
00:31:34,308 --> 00:31:34,942
No problem.
547
00:31:35,908 --> 00:31:37,445
Oh, so is that you?
548
00:31:38,512 --> 00:31:39,511
Yeah.
549
00:31:39,513 --> 00:31:40,744
Like I said, many moons ago.
550
00:31:40,746 --> 00:31:41,879
You want a beer?
551
00:31:41,881 --> 00:31:43,315
No, thanks.
552
00:31:43,317 --> 00:31:46,984
So, yeah, it's a nice picture.
553
00:31:46,986 --> 00:31:48,555
We were like the Spartan Army.
554
00:31:51,858 --> 00:31:52,726
300 strong.
555
00:31:54,927 --> 00:31:56,464
We could take on anyone.
556
00:31:57,397 --> 00:31:59,734
(JAZZ MUSIC)
557
00:32:03,869 --> 00:32:06,404
300 when we started, anyway.
558
00:32:06,406 --> 00:32:08,839
Good men from good families,
559
00:32:08,841 --> 00:32:11,943
ready and willing to
fight for the cause,
560
00:32:11,945 --> 00:32:15,980
fight the good fight, free
the country of communism,
561
00:32:15,982 --> 00:32:18,015
get rid of the reds.
562
00:32:18,017 --> 00:32:20,484
Red, red, fire in the shed.
563
00:32:20,486 --> 00:32:22,921
I'd rather be dead than red.
564
00:32:22,923 --> 00:32:27,928
One by one we fought until
the cause no longer mattered.
565
00:32:28,928 --> 00:32:30,531
We just wanted to stay
alive, whatever it took.
566
00:32:31,398 --> 00:32:33,100
That 300 became 200,
567
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,069
then 100,
568
00:32:36,669 --> 00:32:40,975
then 50, 20, 10, until it
was only two of us left.
569
00:32:43,042 --> 00:32:44,742
By the end of it,
neither of us knew
570
00:32:44,744 --> 00:32:46,845
what we were fighting for.
571
00:32:46,847 --> 00:32:50,013
It wasn't country or cause.
572
00:32:50,015 --> 00:32:52,018
I'm not even sure it
was for ourselves.
573
00:32:53,453 --> 00:32:55,119
I only knew that I
had to keep going
574
00:32:55,121 --> 00:32:59,924
because one day I'd be
back to a place I loved,
575
00:32:59,926 --> 00:33:01,662
a place where my family lived,
576
00:33:02,561 --> 00:33:05,632
a place I called home.
577
00:33:07,067 --> 00:33:09,403
So you still see him or what?
578
00:33:12,738 --> 00:33:14,806
That's what they gave us.
579
00:33:14,808 --> 00:33:15,643
What?
580
00:33:20,813 --> 00:33:22,550
Nice, real nice.
581
00:33:23,550 --> 00:33:24,918
It's a pocket watch.
582
00:33:26,686 --> 00:33:28,819
That's what they gave us
for serving our country
583
00:33:28,821 --> 00:33:31,524
for six long years,
a pocket watch.
584
00:33:32,993 --> 00:33:35,796
Guess somebody thought that's
all a man's life is worth.
585
00:33:36,963 --> 00:33:40,033
I guess somebody thought that's
all be need is a timepiece
586
00:33:41,967 --> 00:33:44,871
to watch our life ebb away
with no friends by our side.
587
00:33:49,074 --> 00:33:52,543
(DOC MARTIN CHUCKLES)
588
00:33:52,545 --> 00:33:54,178
Now you boys come back
any time you want.
589
00:33:54,180 --> 00:33:55,847
Yeah, we will.
590
00:33:55,849 --> 00:33:58,586
(ENGINE REVVING)
591
00:33:59,718 --> 00:34:02,722
(SMOOTH CELLO MUSIC)
592
00:34:09,728 --> 00:34:10,728
Hiya, Moses.
593
00:34:10,730 --> 00:34:12,063
Hey.
594
00:34:12,065 --> 00:34:15,469
- You got a whiskey for me?
- Sure thing, Mr. Ted.
595
00:34:18,938 --> 00:34:20,507
Mr. Pickleford back there?
596
00:34:21,775 --> 00:34:23,210
Mr. Roy's out back, detective.
597
00:34:25,145 --> 00:34:26,744
Sure do like that shirt.
598
00:34:26,746 --> 00:34:27,581
Thank you.
599
00:34:29,081 --> 00:34:31,916
You want anything else?
600
00:34:31,918 --> 00:34:35,119
Not anything that
anyone else doesn't want.
601
00:34:35,121 --> 00:34:38,025
(MOSES CHUCKLES)
602
00:34:52,138 --> 00:34:53,637
Come in.
603
00:34:53,639 --> 00:34:55,739
Ah, Ted.
604
00:34:55,741 --> 00:34:57,741
Thank god you're here.
605
00:34:57,743 --> 00:34:58,578
Sit down.
606
00:35:00,045 --> 00:35:01,246
What's going on?
607
00:35:01,248 --> 00:35:04,616
Are you in trouble
with protection again?
608
00:35:04,618 --> 00:35:06,884
No, it's nothing like that.
609
00:35:06,886 --> 00:35:07,720
It's Jessica.
610
00:35:09,623 --> 00:35:12,223
Ah, that little bitch.
611
00:35:12,225 --> 00:35:13,690
What'd she do this time?
612
00:35:13,692 --> 00:35:16,293
Catch you fucking one
of the other girls?
613
00:35:16,295 --> 00:35:17,529
Of course not.
614
00:35:17,531 --> 00:35:19,197
Well, yes she did,
615
00:35:19,199 --> 00:35:21,068
but that's not what
I'm worried about.
616
00:35:22,636 --> 00:35:23,571
She's gone missing,
617
00:35:26,072 --> 00:35:27,208
but with my fucking money.
618
00:35:28,208 --> 00:35:30,041
You try calling her?
619
00:35:30,043 --> 00:35:32,175
Well why didn't
I think of that?
620
00:35:32,177 --> 00:35:34,177
Of course I tried calling her.
621
00:35:34,179 --> 00:35:37,849
The last time I called her,
was somebody else on the line.
622
00:35:37,851 --> 00:35:39,583
Some strange shit,
623
00:35:39,585 --> 00:35:41,018
and there was a noise.
624
00:35:41,020 --> 00:35:43,820
It was a (IMITATES BUZZING)
funny noise on the line.
625
00:35:43,822 --> 00:35:45,088
What kind of noise?
626
00:35:45,090 --> 00:35:47,592
It sounded like
a chainsaw to me,
627
00:35:47,594 --> 00:35:49,561
and there was this screaming.
628
00:35:49,563 --> 00:35:53,167
Screaming like oh my
god, I can't describe.
629
00:35:54,768 --> 00:35:58,239
Sounded to me like someone
was being hurt real bad.
630
00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:01,242
You know what I think?
631
00:36:02,641 --> 00:36:04,675
I think she's just
fucking with your head,
632
00:36:04,677 --> 00:36:07,110
like she's been doing
for a really long time.
633
00:36:07,112 --> 00:36:09,646
I don't understand why you
don't just kill the bitch
634
00:36:09,648 --> 00:36:11,217
and be rid of her
once and for all.
635
00:36:15,822 --> 00:36:20,224
Yeah, well, I guess you
like to fuck dancers.
636
00:36:20,226 --> 00:36:21,195
Who wouldn't?
637
00:36:22,596 --> 00:36:24,264
The thing is, you
can't marry 'em.
638
00:36:25,264 --> 00:36:26,898
You can fuck 'em all day,
639
00:36:26,900 --> 00:36:28,903
but don't put 'em
in your kitchen.
640
00:36:30,235 --> 00:36:33,070
Well thank you for
the information, Ted.
641
00:36:33,072 --> 00:36:34,271
TED: You're welcome.
642
00:36:34,273 --> 00:36:36,340
But that's not why I
asked you to come here.
643
00:36:36,342 --> 00:36:38,076
You see Jessica came back early
644
00:36:38,078 --> 00:36:40,744
from a shopping trip in Reno,
645
00:36:40,746 --> 00:36:43,715
and she found me with
one of the new dancers,
646
00:36:43,717 --> 00:36:45,215
a stupid bitch called Sally.
647
00:36:45,217 --> 00:36:49,152
- That a new girl?
- Yeah, now you wait a minute.
648
00:36:49,154 --> 00:36:51,255
(TED LAUGHING)
649
00:36:51,257 --> 00:36:53,123
I'm just saying,
I heard a new name
650
00:36:53,125 --> 00:36:55,927
and you know, makes me crazy.
651
00:36:55,929 --> 00:36:57,231
Is that her right there?
652
00:36:59,132 --> 00:37:02,333
You can have Sally as a gift.
653
00:37:02,335 --> 00:37:06,139
I want the bitch
back and my money.
654
00:37:07,139 --> 00:37:08,141
You can fuck her, too,
655
00:37:09,308 --> 00:37:11,210
and I'll hold her down
for you if you like.
656
00:37:13,813 --> 00:37:18,819
Three is a crowd, but I
thank you for the invite.
657
00:37:21,888 --> 00:37:23,223
Now what else can I do for ya?
658
00:37:24,757 --> 00:37:26,690
I want you to put
a trace on my call.
659
00:37:26,692 --> 00:37:28,358
When you get the
address, you tell me.
660
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:29,228
I'll do the rest.
661
00:37:36,136 --> 00:37:37,137
All right.
662
00:37:38,737 --> 00:37:40,204
Consider it done.
663
00:37:40,206 --> 00:37:42,139
(CLICKS TONGUE)
664
00:37:42,141 --> 00:37:45,076
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
665
00:37:45,078 --> 00:37:48,081
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
666
00:38:02,328 --> 00:38:05,866
- You got the meat, boy?
- I sure have here.
667
00:38:09,768 --> 00:38:12,136
Hey, hold it right there.
668
00:38:12,138 --> 00:38:15,172
What the hell have you
been doing to that meat?
669
00:38:15,174 --> 00:38:17,909
I just had a little
fun with it first.
670
00:38:17,911 --> 00:38:21,746
I told you, boy, don't
you play with your food!
671
00:38:21,748 --> 00:38:23,317
Now if you're gonna
fuck something,
672
00:38:24,918 --> 00:38:25,753
make sure it's still alive.
673
00:38:26,453 --> 00:38:29,288
(BOTH LAUGHING)
674
00:38:38,163 --> 00:38:40,833
(PHONE RINGING)
675
00:38:41,801 --> 00:38:44,138
What the goddamn hell is that?
676
00:38:45,404 --> 00:38:46,239
Boons.
677
00:38:48,308 --> 00:38:50,677
Jessica, is that you?
678
00:38:51,911 --> 00:38:55,145
Where the hell did
you get this thing?
679
00:38:55,147 --> 00:38:58,215
I took it from the woman
with the fancy car, Lemmas.
680
00:38:58,217 --> 00:39:00,250
What, not one of them?
681
00:39:00,252 --> 00:39:03,356
No, sir, the bitch
with the yellow Trans Am.
682
00:39:05,759 --> 00:39:07,058
Hey, Steve.
683
00:39:07,060 --> 00:39:07,895
It's me, Ted.
684
00:39:08,828 --> 00:39:10,293
You run that trace for me?
685
00:39:10,295 --> 00:39:13,029
STEVE: Yeah, the signal back
states that the coordinates
686
00:39:13,031 --> 00:39:16,800
for that transmission
is 116.7212,
687
00:39:16,802 --> 00:39:18,936
but it's a little strange, Ted.
688
00:39:18,938 --> 00:39:20,337
Why is that?
689
00:39:20,339 --> 00:39:22,405
STEVE: Well there's just
no town listed in that area.
690
00:39:22,407 --> 00:39:23,340
There's nothing.
691
00:39:23,342 --> 00:39:24,310
Like absolutely nothing at all.
692
00:39:25,444 --> 00:39:29,248
Well, Steve, I
appreciate the info,
693
00:39:30,516 --> 00:39:32,449
but you need to make sure you
keep everything to yourself.
694
00:39:32,451 --> 00:39:33,985
Do you understand?
695
00:39:33,987 --> 00:39:35,085
STEVE: Yeah, no problem man.
696
00:39:35,087 --> 00:39:36,055
I owe ya one.
697
00:39:38,324 --> 00:39:40,427
Let's just say that
you're paid in full.
698
00:39:43,830 --> 00:39:45,032
What do you intend to do?
699
00:39:47,833 --> 00:39:51,270
Well, I'm gonna kill the bitch
700
00:39:52,605 --> 00:39:54,806
and whoever else
that bastard was
701
00:39:54,808 --> 00:39:56,275
on the other end of the phone.
702
00:39:58,877 --> 00:40:01,813
Son, do you want somebody
to find out what you're doing?
703
00:40:01,815 --> 00:40:02,547
No, Sir.
704
00:40:02,549 --> 00:40:04,047
Do you want the police to come
705
00:40:04,049 --> 00:40:05,817
and take you away from here?
706
00:40:05,819 --> 00:40:06,453
No, Sir.
707
00:40:09,188 --> 00:40:12,422
Well I don't think we'll be
needing this anymore, do you?
708
00:40:12,424 --> 00:40:13,391
No, Sir.
709
00:40:13,393 --> 00:40:15,896
(BANJO MUSIC)
710
00:40:20,232 --> 00:40:24,270
Boy, I hope you've
learned a lesson today.
711
00:40:25,505 --> 00:40:28,572
Never steal anything
more than you can eat
712
00:40:28,574 --> 00:40:31,541
from those goddamn heathens!
713
00:40:31,543 --> 00:40:33,578
Because they have strange ways
714
00:40:33,580 --> 00:40:36,514
and you don't wanna catch
their strange ways, now do ya?
715
00:40:36,516 --> 00:40:38,248
No, Sir.
716
00:40:38,250 --> 00:40:39,884
They are outsiders
717
00:40:39,886 --> 00:40:41,384
and they will remain outsiders.
718
00:40:41,386 --> 00:40:43,119
Do you understand?
719
00:40:43,121 --> 00:40:43,991
Yes, Sir.
720
00:40:48,393 --> 00:40:49,626
Okay, it's all right.
721
00:40:49,628 --> 00:40:51,295
Okay.
722
00:40:51,297 --> 00:40:53,934
(BOTH LAUGHING)
723
00:41:06,112 --> 00:41:07,411
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
724
00:41:07,413 --> 00:41:09,279
The boys get in the
edge of their destination,
725
00:41:09,281 --> 00:41:12,852
not knowing what
fate awaits them.
726
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,190
Look, Ollie, it's El Dorado.
727
00:41:20,426 --> 00:41:23,960
(CAR ENGINE RUMBLING)
728
00:41:23,962 --> 00:41:27,900
Now this is what we call
in the industry a wild card,
729
00:41:29,368 --> 00:41:32,205
a group of characters the
audience wasn't expecting.
730
00:41:33,438 --> 00:41:36,940
Well within minutes of the
Jews Brothers entering town
731
00:41:36,942 --> 00:41:41,411
comes the sound of
Eduardo's Desert Tours,
732
00:41:41,413 --> 00:41:44,514
only this time his
coach breaks down
733
00:41:44,516 --> 00:41:49,188
with only one place to go other
than the desert, El Dorado.
734
00:41:52,491 --> 00:41:54,460
A huge mistake, Eduardo.
735
00:41:58,998 --> 00:42:00,067
Everybody off.
736
00:42:09,641 --> 00:42:11,308
What the hell is that?
737
00:42:11,310 --> 00:42:13,412
Do you think we made the
right decision coming here?
738
00:42:14,647 --> 00:42:16,549
There was no where
else to go, Stanley.
739
00:42:17,417 --> 00:42:18,518
Why are we stopping?
740
00:42:19,618 --> 00:42:21,985
The bus is broken down
741
00:42:21,987 --> 00:42:24,523
and there isn't another
stop for 300 miles.
742
00:42:26,192 --> 00:42:29,563
It's either here or the desert.
743
00:42:39,205 --> 00:42:40,040
Asshole.
744
00:42:41,574 --> 00:42:44,511
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
745
00:42:45,578 --> 00:42:46,913
Ladies and gentlemen,
746
00:42:48,214 --> 00:42:52,152
today is the 200th anniversary
of our little town.
747
00:42:53,453 --> 00:42:57,257
So tonight we shall celebrate
at El Dorado's own music hall
748
00:42:58,123 --> 00:42:59,690
with our special guests,
749
00:42:59,692 --> 00:43:01,257
live from California,
750
00:43:01,259 --> 00:43:04,462
the Soggy Bottom Boys
and their tribute act.
751
00:43:04,464 --> 00:43:06,063
Is he talking about us?
752
00:43:06,065 --> 00:43:07,264
JJ's done it again.
753
00:43:07,266 --> 00:43:10,034
But we're the Jews Brothers.
754
00:43:10,036 --> 00:43:11,571
Not tonight, we're not.
755
00:43:12,572 --> 00:43:13,573
Hooray!
756
00:43:14,574 --> 00:43:16,706
Come one, come
all, and celebrate
757
00:43:16,708 --> 00:43:20,714
with the Soggy Bottom
Boys live at our Old Opry.
758
00:43:23,081 --> 00:43:26,217
Hiya cowboys, line up,
line up, and try you luck.
759
00:43:26,219 --> 00:43:28,052
Shoot a can if you can.
760
00:43:28,054 --> 00:43:30,353
(GIGGLES)
761
00:43:30,355 --> 00:43:33,056
Would you and your daughter
mind to have a try, Sir?
762
00:43:33,058 --> 00:43:35,761
That's my wife,
shorty, not my daughter.
763
00:43:36,828 --> 00:43:38,695
Cheeky little fucker.
764
00:43:38,697 --> 00:43:39,532
I'll show him.
765
00:43:42,067 --> 00:43:45,004
(GLASS SHATTERING)
766
00:43:49,741 --> 00:43:51,510
Well done, Daddy!
767
00:43:52,578 --> 00:43:53,580
Good shot, cowboy.
768
00:43:54,781 --> 00:43:57,016
Like I said, that's
what I call shooting.
769
00:44:00,152 --> 00:44:02,555
Been buying in El Dorado
for almost 200 years now.
770
00:44:03,723 --> 00:44:06,090
First settlers came to
this part of the desert
771
00:44:06,092 --> 00:44:09,563
to claim the gold, and
then they decided to stay.
772
00:44:10,830 --> 00:44:12,563
How can I help you, little lady?
773
00:44:12,565 --> 00:44:14,764
Is there still gold here?
774
00:44:14,766 --> 00:44:15,668
Good question.
775
00:44:17,136 --> 00:44:18,237
Some say no,
776
00:44:19,371 --> 00:44:21,137
but I believe that if
you wish hard enough
777
00:44:21,139 --> 00:44:23,340
your dreams could come
true at El Dorado.
778
00:44:23,342 --> 00:44:24,378
Fact!
779
00:44:25,578 --> 00:44:28,047
Some say El Dorado was
discovered by a pirate,
780
00:44:29,181 --> 00:44:30,648
a rogue of the sea.
781
00:44:30,650 --> 00:44:32,248
(EERIE MUSIC)
782
00:44:32,250 --> 00:44:35,085
Captain Jake was his name.
783
00:44:35,087 --> 00:44:37,188
Hard drinking,
woman loving pirate
784
00:44:37,190 --> 00:44:39,190
that only cared for the sea.
785
00:44:39,192 --> 00:44:43,427
Like all stories, things didn't
go right for Captain Jake,
786
00:44:43,429 --> 00:44:45,365
and on a night very
similar to tonight,
787
00:44:46,331 --> 00:44:47,534
his ship hit a storm.
788
00:44:49,668 --> 00:44:51,437
He fought the waves!
789
00:44:52,538 --> 00:44:54,608
As his shipped
bobbed on the sea,
790
00:44:55,607 --> 00:44:57,474
like a matchstick on (MUMBLES).
791
00:44:57,476 --> 00:44:59,712
Tell me, what
happened to this pirate?
792
00:45:01,147 --> 00:45:04,618
Well, Captain Jake fought
those waves to the bitter end.
793
00:45:05,650 --> 00:45:09,089
When out of the sea came
a monster from hell.
794
00:45:12,625 --> 00:45:14,525
The Kraken appeared.
795
00:45:14,527 --> 00:45:17,728
Some say it stood 1,000
feet, not an inch more.
796
00:45:17,730 --> 00:45:19,163
Well what did he do?
797
00:45:19,165 --> 00:45:20,396
SHERIFF: Like
any good Captain,
798
00:45:20,398 --> 00:45:22,366
Captain Jake went
down with his ship
799
00:45:22,368 --> 00:45:25,768
as the Kraken curled,
dragging it under the sea,
800
00:45:25,770 --> 00:45:29,239
along with Davy Jones' locker.
801
00:45:29,241 --> 00:45:30,674
Did he die?
802
00:45:30,676 --> 00:45:31,844
Did the Kraken kill him?
803
00:45:33,346 --> 00:45:34,945
Well we're talking
about Captain Jake, here.
804
00:45:34,947 --> 00:45:37,715
A rogue of the sea, little lady.
805
00:45:37,717 --> 00:45:40,317
As Captain Jake watches
the awful scene,
806
00:45:40,319 --> 00:45:43,353
he knows his destiny
must travel another path.
807
00:45:43,355 --> 00:45:45,458
On that path Captain
Jake traveled.
808
00:45:47,659 --> 00:45:50,730
(THUNDER CRASHING)
809
00:46:02,741 --> 00:46:05,678
(GLASS SHATTERING)
810
00:46:09,248 --> 00:46:11,717
(EERIE MUSIC)
811
00:46:13,853 --> 00:46:17,190
That's it, go west
yon man, go west.
812
00:46:18,857 --> 00:46:21,224
So what happened next?
813
00:46:21,226 --> 00:46:21,860
Arr!
814
00:46:23,529 --> 00:46:27,598
Now this part is interesting.
815
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:29,435
Captain Jake walked
for many a moon,
816
00:46:30,603 --> 00:46:31,871
many a day through
the desert sun.
817
00:46:33,471 --> 00:46:35,941
Legend states that Captain
Jake stumbled on this spot
818
00:46:37,543 --> 00:46:40,380
and as his body melted
into the desert,
819
00:46:41,547 --> 00:46:44,918
became an oasis which
later became El Dorado.
820
00:46:46,819 --> 00:46:48,755
And that, little lady,
821
00:46:50,956 --> 00:46:52,826
is the legend of El Dorado.
822
00:46:58,331 --> 00:46:59,797
This ain't no
Blues Club, Ollie.
823
00:46:59,799 --> 00:47:00,800
What are we gonna do?
824
00:47:01,967 --> 00:47:03,833
Oh, what are we gonna do, Ollie?
825
00:47:03,835 --> 00:47:05,703
We ain't no bluegrass
tribute act.
826
00:47:05,705 --> 00:47:07,770
The only song I know is the one
827
00:47:07,772 --> 00:47:10,340
that Daddy used to sing
us when we were kids!
828
00:47:10,342 --> 00:47:12,242
That's a great idea, Stanley.
829
00:47:12,244 --> 00:47:13,844
- Let's do that one.
- What?
830
00:47:13,846 --> 00:47:15,346
Now our very own El Dorado boy
831
00:47:15,348 --> 00:47:20,353
who will be doing a tune
for all you good city folk.
832
00:47:20,953 --> 00:47:23,786
Come on, Tommy, come up.
833
00:47:23,788 --> 00:47:26,192
(CROWD BOOS)
834
00:47:28,627 --> 00:47:30,930
Bit short for Elvis, ain't he?
835
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:36,699
(TOMMY SINGING INCOHERENTLY)
836
00:47:36,701 --> 00:47:39,305
(CROWD BOOING)
837
00:47:42,340 --> 00:47:43,873
I can't hear you.
838
00:47:43,875 --> 00:47:46,944
(CROWD BOOING)
839
00:47:46,946 --> 00:47:50,616
(TOMMY SINGING GIBBERISH)
840
00:47:55,788 --> 00:47:57,020
Bring on the Soggy Bottom Boys,
841
00:47:57,022 --> 00:47:58,257
not this crap.
842
00:47:59,357 --> 00:48:00,556
(LAUGHS)
843
00:48:00,558 --> 00:48:01,625
You can do anything, Tommy.
844
00:48:01,627 --> 00:48:03,761
You can just do anything to me.
845
00:48:03,763 --> 00:48:06,433
(CROWD JEERING)
846
00:48:09,467 --> 00:48:11,804
Elvis has left the building!
847
00:48:16,475 --> 00:48:18,308
Ladies and gentlemen,
848
00:48:18,310 --> 00:48:19,946
due to popular demand,
849
00:48:21,580 --> 00:48:24,447
we're gonna cut short our
Elvis appreciation tribute
850
00:48:24,449 --> 00:48:26,949
and go straight to the
main act of the evening.
851
00:48:26,951 --> 00:48:28,587
What are you doing?
852
00:48:30,723 --> 00:48:31,791
I have an idea.
853
00:48:32,891 --> 00:48:34,391
Oh, not another one.
854
00:48:34,393 --> 00:48:37,927
All the way form
southern California,
855
00:48:37,929 --> 00:48:42,666
theirs is a tribute act
to end all tribute acts.
856
00:48:42,668 --> 00:48:44,867
They may be from Las Vegas,
857
00:48:44,869 --> 00:48:48,605
but their hearts are
in the deep south.
858
00:48:48,607 --> 00:48:52,679
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Soggy Bottom Boys.
859
00:48:53,712 --> 00:48:55,545
CROWD: Soggy Bottom Boys!
860
00:48:55,547 --> 00:48:57,348
Soggy Bottom Boys!
861
00:48:57,350 --> 00:48:59,016
Soggy Bottom Boys!
862
00:48:59,018 --> 00:49:00,884
Soggy Bottom Boys!
863
00:49:00,886 --> 00:49:02,820
Soggy Bottom Boys!
864
00:49:02,822 --> 00:49:04,755
Soggy Bottom Boys!
865
00:49:04,757 --> 00:49:06,155
Soggy Bottom Boys!
866
00:49:06,157 --> 00:49:08,862
(CROWD CHEERS)
867
00:49:09,828 --> 00:49:12,398
(TWANGY MUSIC)
868
00:49:13,866 --> 00:49:17,701
♪ On the mountain in Virginia ♪
869
00:49:17,703 --> 00:49:21,838
♪ Stands a lonesome pine ♪
870
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:25,842
♪ Just below is the cabin home ♪
871
00:49:25,844 --> 00:49:29,913
♪ Of a little friend of mine ♪
872
00:49:29,915 --> 00:49:31,882
♪ Her name is June ♪
873
00:49:31,884 --> 00:49:33,983
♪ And very, very soon ♪
874
00:49:33,985 --> 00:49:37,357
♪ She'll belong to me ♪
875
00:49:45,096 --> 00:49:47,366
What's up with the
phones in this place?
876
00:49:48,067 --> 00:49:49,465
None of them work.
877
00:49:49,467 --> 00:49:50,936
That's El Dorado
for you, buddy.
878
00:49:52,138 --> 00:49:53,837
What can I do for ya, stranger?
879
00:49:53,839 --> 00:49:55,938
I need to get my bus fixed.
880
00:49:55,940 --> 00:49:57,741
You need to see Lemmas.
881
00:49:57,743 --> 00:49:59,675
Who is Lemmas?
882
00:49:59,677 --> 00:50:01,811
He's the butcher
here in these parts.
883
00:50:01,813 --> 00:50:04,181
I need a mechanic,
not a butcher.
884
00:50:04,183 --> 00:50:06,516
It's Lemmas' Chop Shop.
885
00:50:06,518 --> 00:50:08,918
Need anything mechanical
done, that's your man.
886
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,690
You need a lean,
clean, thick steak,
887
00:50:12,525 --> 00:50:13,956
that's your man also.
888
00:50:13,958 --> 00:50:16,029
The man, right.
889
00:50:23,868 --> 00:50:27,871
♪ In the Blue Ridge
Mountains of Virginia ♪
890
00:50:27,873 --> 00:50:29,773
♪ Mountains of Virginia ♪
891
00:50:29,775 --> 00:50:33,976
♪ On the trail of
the lonesome pine ♪
892
00:50:33,978 --> 00:50:36,915
(CROWD CHEERING)
893
00:50:39,485 --> 00:50:43,056
("MAN OF CONSTANT SORROW")
894
00:50:52,964 --> 00:50:57,936
♪ I am a man of
constant sorrow ♪
895
00:51:00,538 --> 00:51:05,444
♪ I've seen trouble
all my days ♪
896
00:51:06,978 --> 00:51:11,984
♪ I bid farewell
to old Kentucky ♪
897
00:51:13,953 --> 00:51:18,958
♪ The place where I
was born and raised ♪
898
00:51:19,991 --> 00:51:24,630
♪ The place where he
was born and raised ♪
899
00:51:26,098 --> 00:51:31,103
♪ For six long years
I've been in trouble ♪
900
00:51:33,538 --> 00:51:38,511
♪ No pleasure here
on earth I've found ♪
901
00:51:39,944 --> 00:51:44,950
♪ For in this world
I'm bound to ramble ♪
902
00:51:47,552 --> 00:51:52,525
♪ I have no friends
to help me now ♪
903
00:51:53,726 --> 00:51:57,197
♪ He has no friends
to help him now ♪
904
00:52:00,766 --> 00:52:03,269
(CROWD CHEERING)
905
00:52:13,578 --> 00:52:18,551
♪ It's fare thee well
my own true lover ♪
906
00:52:20,985 --> 00:52:25,991
♪ I never expect
to see you again ♪
907
00:52:27,592 --> 00:52:32,565
♪ For I'm bound to ride
that northern railroad ♪
908
00:52:34,933 --> 00:52:39,938
♪ Perhaps I'll die
upon that train ♪
909
00:52:41,105 --> 00:52:44,743
♪ Perhaps he'll die
upon that train ♪
910
00:53:01,125 --> 00:53:06,031
♪ Maybe your friends think
I'm just a stranger ♪
911
00:53:08,199 --> 00:53:13,205
♪ My face you never
will see no more ♪
912
00:53:15,107 --> 00:53:20,112
♪ But there is one
promise that is given ♪
913
00:53:22,181 --> 00:53:27,186
♪ I'll meet you on
god's golden shore ♪
914
00:53:28,654 --> 00:53:32,257
♪ He'll meet you on
god's golden shore ♪
915
00:53:35,728 --> 00:53:37,996
Oh good, it's about time.
916
00:53:38,964 --> 00:53:41,697
(CROWD CHEERING)
917
00:53:41,699 --> 00:53:43,602
I need to hit the head.
918
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:50,009
That was the
Soggy Bottom Boys,
919
00:53:51,243 --> 00:53:55,148
all the way from Las Vegas,
just for you good folk.
920
00:54:01,386 --> 00:54:02,154
Dick?
921
00:54:03,087 --> 00:54:04,855
Dick?
922
00:54:04,857 --> 00:54:05,692
Dick?
923
00:54:09,795 --> 00:54:14,801
Dick!
924
00:54:16,701 --> 00:54:19,469
Do you think I could
help her find her dick?
925
00:54:19,471 --> 00:54:21,103
We haven't got time, Stanley.
926
00:54:21,105 --> 00:54:23,040
Aw, but Ollie.
927
00:54:23,042 --> 00:54:27,143
You can't leave a young lady
wanting a dick, can you?
928
00:54:27,145 --> 00:54:28,210
Dick?
929
00:54:28,212 --> 00:54:29,081
Dick!
930
00:54:30,214 --> 00:54:31,715
What's the point
of having a Dick
931
00:54:31,717 --> 00:54:33,784
when you can't find him?
932
00:54:33,786 --> 00:54:35,421
He's never around
when you need him.
933
00:54:42,460 --> 00:54:43,328
11:58.
934
00:54:45,163 --> 00:54:46,165
She's gonna die.
935
00:54:47,232 --> 00:54:48,301
She's gonna die, Ted.
936
00:54:49,802 --> 00:54:52,405
Fast and hard, like
sperm hitting the condom.
937
00:54:53,806 --> 00:54:57,273
Well then, I'm
gonna go with you.
938
00:54:57,275 --> 00:54:58,875
There's no need.
939
00:54:58,877 --> 00:55:01,244
Two guns are better than one.
940
00:55:01,246 --> 00:55:02,978
You just wanna fuck my wife.
941
00:55:02,980 --> 00:55:04,213
Yes, I do.
942
00:55:04,215 --> 00:55:06,386
(MEN LAUGH)
943
00:55:09,788 --> 00:55:13,292
(TOMMY LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
944
00:55:19,931 --> 00:55:22,364
So Ollie, where
do we go from here?
945
00:55:22,366 --> 00:55:24,166
Yo Stanley, if
JJ's got anything
946
00:55:24,168 --> 00:55:25,737
to do with it, who knows?
947
00:55:30,942 --> 00:55:32,011
Ahh, Ollie!
948
00:55:33,011 --> 00:55:33,980
It's an ear!
949
00:55:39,217 --> 00:55:42,351
(WATER RUNNING)
950
00:55:42,353 --> 00:55:43,786
Back in El Dorado,
951
00:55:43,788 --> 00:55:47,456
Chef Mario gets ready
for the celebration.
952
00:55:47,458 --> 00:55:50,062
Bon appetite, city slickers.
953
00:55:51,295 --> 00:55:52,429
Trying to make a 40
954
00:55:52,431 --> 00:55:54,797
going for a four.
955
00:55:54,799 --> 00:55:56,233
(LAUGHING)
956
00:55:56,235 --> 00:55:57,236
So?
957
00:55:58,302 --> 00:56:00,070
What's cooking, Mario?
958
00:56:00,072 --> 00:56:03,440
My cuisine will be
fit for a king, Mayor.
959
00:56:03,442 --> 00:56:07,811
The meat will just
fall from the bone.
960
00:56:07,813 --> 00:56:09,945
That sounds good, Mario.
961
00:56:09,947 --> 00:56:12,282
We don't want them city
slickers finding out
962
00:56:12,284 --> 00:56:15,152
our little secret
before they need to.
963
00:56:15,154 --> 00:56:18,121
City gourmet.
964
00:56:18,123 --> 00:56:19,225
City gourmet.
965
00:56:21,592 --> 00:56:23,826
(MUMBLES)
966
00:56:23,828 --> 00:56:25,997
(HUMMING)
967
00:56:28,299 --> 00:56:29,900
(LAUGHING)
968
00:56:29,902 --> 00:56:32,302
Ladies and gentlemen,
969
00:56:32,304 --> 00:56:36,873
Chef Mario brings to you
the bistro resistance
970
00:56:36,875 --> 00:56:39,308
in El Dorado cooking!
971
00:56:39,310 --> 00:56:41,980
(CROWD OOING)
972
00:56:47,485 --> 00:56:48,518
Voila!
973
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:51,357
(CROWD SCREAMING)
974
00:56:52,223 --> 00:56:55,327
(FOREBODING MUSIC)
975
00:57:08,306 --> 00:57:11,042
(BELL RINGING)
976
00:57:15,246 --> 00:57:17,380
Welcome to Boon's, city folk,
977
00:57:17,382 --> 00:57:19,049
home of the combo.
978
00:57:19,051 --> 00:57:21,985
You gentlemen want anything?
979
00:57:21,987 --> 00:57:24,920
Yeah, give me some black
coffee and cigarettes.
980
00:57:24,922 --> 00:57:27,991
- And some information.
- Information?
981
00:57:27,993 --> 00:57:30,893
Information can cost
you, city slickers.
982
00:57:30,895 --> 00:57:32,497
Tough guys from the big city.
983
00:57:34,433 --> 00:57:37,500
Has a woman in a yellow
Trans Am been through here?
984
00:57:37,502 --> 00:57:39,902
- Nope.
- You sure?
985
00:57:39,904 --> 00:57:44,340
Like I say, boss, no pussy
wagon has come this way.
986
00:57:44,342 --> 00:57:45,442
Pussy wagon?
987
00:57:45,444 --> 00:57:47,309
Now that's a strange
expression to use.
988
00:57:47,311 --> 00:57:49,012
Why did you say pussy wagon?
989
00:57:49,014 --> 00:57:50,246
TOMMY: What?
990
00:57:50,248 --> 00:57:51,915
Pussy wagon, why'd you say it?
991
00:57:51,917 --> 00:57:53,351
Yo, boss, I don't understand.
992
00:57:56,388 --> 00:57:59,021
Now say something
funny, laughing boy.
993
00:57:59,023 --> 00:58:01,925
Yo I don't understand, boss.
994
00:58:01,927 --> 00:58:03,525
Oh, you will.
995
00:58:03,527 --> 00:58:06,096
Like I say, no
one's come this way.
996
00:58:06,098 --> 00:58:07,529
Shut up and stop lying!
997
00:58:07,531 --> 00:58:08,465
Roy!
998
00:58:08,467 --> 00:58:10,400
What's going on?
999
00:58:10,402 --> 00:58:13,402
Now say, wrong
number tough guy.
1000
00:58:13,404 --> 00:58:15,307
- What?
- Say it!
1001
00:58:16,507 --> 00:58:18,108
Wrong number, tough guy.
1002
00:58:18,110 --> 00:58:19,175
Roy, talk to me.
1003
00:58:19,177 --> 00:58:22,177
Now say it and then laugh.
1004
00:58:22,179 --> 00:58:23,313
Roy, talk to me!
1005
00:58:23,315 --> 00:58:24,547
I'm not going crazy.
1006
00:58:24,549 --> 00:58:26,650
Say it or I'll blow
your fucking brains out
1007
00:58:26,652 --> 00:58:27,717
right here, right now.
1008
00:58:27,719 --> 00:58:30,420
Wrong number tough guy!
1009
00:58:30,422 --> 00:58:34,991
Now say it and mean
it without the stammer.
1010
00:58:34,993 --> 00:58:37,460
Wrong number, tough guy.
1011
00:58:37,462 --> 00:58:38,460
(ROY CHUCKLES)
1012
00:58:38,462 --> 00:58:40,496
You bastard, I
knew it was you.
1013
00:58:40,498 --> 00:58:41,730
What have you done
with my money?
1014
00:58:41,732 --> 00:58:43,400
Roy, tell me the story!
1015
00:58:43,402 --> 00:58:44,967
This is the little fucker
1016
00:58:44,969 --> 00:58:47,203
who was on the other
end of the line.
1017
00:58:47,205 --> 00:58:48,404
How else would he have known
1018
00:58:48,406 --> 00:58:51,407
that she called her
Trans Am a pussy wagon?
1019
00:58:51,409 --> 00:58:52,474
Yo money, boss?
1020
00:58:52,476 --> 00:58:54,643
Yeah, you're listening now.
1021
00:58:54,645 --> 00:58:58,213
Yeah, say you haven't seen
the silver case with my money
1022
00:58:58,215 --> 00:59:00,349
before I shoot you
between the eyes.
1023
00:59:00,351 --> 00:59:01,684
Money?
1024
00:59:01,686 --> 00:59:03,453
Yeah, yeah, money.
1025
00:59:03,455 --> 00:59:05,558
A million dollars
of my money, ah!
1026
00:59:08,393 --> 00:59:09,228
Uh.
1027
00:59:10,362 --> 00:59:12,061
So I'm the little
fucker am I, big boy?
1028
00:59:12,063 --> 00:59:14,634
(TOMMY LAUGHING)
1029
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:18,000
Both of you, raise your hands.
1030
00:59:18,002 --> 00:59:21,273
I'm gonna take you out back
and show you my workshop.
1031
00:59:24,509 --> 00:59:25,474
Where is she?
1032
00:59:25,476 --> 00:59:27,110
Where is who, numb nuts?
1033
00:59:27,112 --> 00:59:30,447
You answered the phone,
bitch in the Trans Am.
1034
00:59:30,449 --> 00:59:32,148
Pussy wagon lady,
1035
00:59:32,150 --> 00:59:34,351
she's gonna be taken care of
1036
00:59:34,353 --> 00:59:37,520
just like you and your money.
1037
00:59:37,522 --> 00:59:39,521
Your time's coming, freak.
1038
00:59:39,523 --> 00:59:41,991
This could be the end of us.
1039
00:59:41,993 --> 00:59:43,128
Not again.
1040
00:59:47,565 --> 00:59:50,233
(GUNSHOTS RESOUNDING)
1041
00:59:50,235 --> 00:59:51,237
Hello, Mayor?
1042
00:59:52,503 --> 00:59:54,206
Yeah, it's all sorted.
1043
00:59:56,308 --> 00:59:57,540
Okay, Tommy.
1044
00:59:57,542 --> 00:59:58,574
That's good, lad.
1045
00:59:58,576 --> 01:00:00,312
That's real good.
1046
01:00:01,513 --> 01:00:04,549
Just come back when
you clear out there.
1047
01:00:05,650 --> 01:00:06,648
Yeah, okay.
1048
01:00:06,650 --> 01:00:08,219
I'll come right over.
1049
01:00:10,654 --> 01:00:12,322
Are the men ready, Lemmas?
1050
01:00:12,324 --> 01:00:13,456
Oh yeah.
1051
01:00:13,458 --> 01:00:14,556
Yep, they've already
started rounding up
1052
01:00:14,558 --> 01:00:15,759
the coach passengers, Mayor.
1053
01:00:15,761 --> 01:00:16,594
Good.
1054
01:00:17,728 --> 01:00:18,561
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
1055
01:00:18,563 --> 01:00:19,496
(GUNSHOT RESOUNDS)
1056
01:00:19,498 --> 01:00:21,130
For tonight the clown will rise
1057
01:00:21,132 --> 01:00:23,435
and blood will flow in
the streets of El Dorado.
1058
01:00:24,569 --> 01:00:27,770
(GUNS SHOOTING)
1059
01:00:27,772 --> 01:00:30,407
It seems like someone's
been asking some questions
1060
01:00:30,409 --> 01:00:32,175
about the little?
(GUNSHOT)
1061
01:00:32,177 --> 01:00:33,012
Who?
1062
01:00:35,614 --> 01:00:38,184
(GUN SHOOTING)
1063
01:00:41,619 --> 01:00:42,619
I know him.
1064
01:00:42,621 --> 01:00:44,056
Friend or foe?
1065
01:00:45,190 --> 01:00:47,357
Now it was a long time ago.
1066
01:00:47,359 --> 01:00:48,757
He might have forgotten
about me by now.
1067
01:00:48,759 --> 01:00:50,393
Kill him anyway.
1068
01:00:50,395 --> 01:00:52,462
Bring back the money
if you can find it.
1069
01:00:52,464 --> 01:00:54,400
Meanwhile, we'll
carry on looking here.
1070
01:00:55,567 --> 01:00:56,369
Okay.
1071
01:00:57,469 --> 01:01:02,441
♪ Hey hey ♪
1072
01:01:05,476 --> 01:01:10,482
♪ Hey hey ♪
1073
01:01:13,451 --> 01:01:18,456
♪ Hey hey yeah ♪
1074
01:01:19,657 --> 01:01:24,663
♪ Hey hey hey hey ♪
1075
01:01:28,165 --> 01:01:33,138
♪ Oh ♪
1076
01:01:36,475 --> 01:01:38,308
♪ Hey ♪
1077
01:01:38,310 --> 01:01:40,145
♪ Hey ♪
1078
01:01:45,917 --> 01:01:48,617
(MUSIC BLARING ON TV)
1079
01:01:48,619 --> 01:01:50,355
Been a long time, Lemmas.
1080
01:01:51,857 --> 01:01:52,824
LEMMAS: Too long.
1081
01:01:56,127 --> 01:01:58,263
Too many questions,
not enough answers.
1082
01:01:59,397 --> 01:02:00,299
There never were.
1083
01:02:04,201 --> 01:02:05,136
'Nam was like that.
1084
01:02:09,741 --> 01:02:10,676
You want a drink?
1085
01:02:16,614 --> 01:02:18,216
I've come here to kill you.
1086
01:02:22,654 --> 01:02:24,322
Hell, I know that.
1087
01:02:27,424 --> 01:02:28,526
You wanna get ready?
1088
01:02:32,531 --> 01:02:33,364
Yep.
1089
01:02:37,735 --> 01:02:39,237
LEMMAS: You got
your timepiece?
1090
01:02:41,839 --> 01:02:43,639
Ah, you wanna time this?
1091
01:02:43,641 --> 01:02:46,846
- Why not?
- Yeah.
1092
01:02:48,679 --> 01:02:51,583
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
1093
01:02:55,819 --> 01:02:58,387
It wasn't supposed
to be like this.
1094
01:02:58,389 --> 01:02:59,257
Oh, yes it was.
1095
01:03:02,194 --> 01:03:03,395
Yeah, maybe you're right.
1096
01:03:04,563 --> 01:03:05,862
300 men go into battle,
1097
01:03:05,864 --> 01:03:08,300
- only two came out alive.
- I remember.
1098
01:03:09,266 --> 01:03:11,400
Death stamped our passport,
1099
01:03:11,402 --> 01:03:13,335
body bags were ordered.
1100
01:03:13,337 --> 01:03:14,606
We weren't meant to live.
1101
01:03:16,373 --> 01:03:18,308
Only God makes those choices.
1102
01:03:18,310 --> 01:03:20,009
Religion is for
the weak minded,
1103
01:03:20,011 --> 01:03:21,844
men who have nothing
else to live for.
1104
01:03:21,846 --> 01:03:22,947
Then what do we got?
1105
01:03:26,951 --> 01:03:27,785
Death.
1106
01:03:33,391 --> 01:03:34,293
Time check.
1107
01:03:36,694 --> 01:03:39,430
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1108
01:03:45,636 --> 01:03:50,208
11:58 and 20 seconds.
1109
01:03:53,712 --> 01:03:56,549
(CLOCK TICKING)
1110
01:03:57,681 --> 01:04:00,685
(BLUEGRASS MUSIC)
1111
01:04:06,991 --> 01:04:09,761
(MEN SHOUTING)
1112
01:04:13,331 --> 01:04:14,963
MAYOR: You found anything?
1113
01:04:14,965 --> 01:04:16,699
TOMMY: I've
ripped the car apart,
1114
01:04:16,701 --> 01:04:18,737
but I can't find
anything, Mayor.
1115
01:04:20,071 --> 01:04:22,808
(MEN SHOUTING)
1116
01:04:30,614 --> 01:04:32,614
The bitch hid the
money somewhere.
1117
01:04:32,616 --> 01:04:35,317
Maybe she hid it
in the desert, Mayor?
1118
01:04:35,319 --> 01:04:36,953
Maybe, or maybe
she did give it
1119
01:04:36,955 --> 01:04:39,725
to the dentist for safekeeping?
1120
01:04:51,402 --> 01:04:54,939
Citizens of El Dorado,
it's time to dance.
1121
01:04:56,540 --> 01:04:59,043
(CLOCK TICKING)
1122
01:04:59,877 --> 01:05:02,046
(BOOMING)
1123
01:05:08,786 --> 01:05:11,788
Back at Lemmas'
slaughter house,
1124
01:05:11,790 --> 01:05:15,326
Tommy cleans up what
is left of Jessica
1125
01:05:16,460 --> 01:05:19,031
before he takes
care of our heroes.
1126
01:05:20,565 --> 01:05:25,070
Oh dear, Jessica has got
herself into a frightful mess.
1127
01:05:28,873 --> 01:05:29,806
Am I dreaming?
1128
01:05:29,808 --> 01:05:31,541
(TOMMY GIGGLES)
1129
01:05:31,543 --> 01:05:32,942
Depends.
1130
01:05:32,944 --> 01:05:34,844
On what, fat boy?
1131
01:05:34,846 --> 01:05:36,878
If you're having
my type of dreams.
1132
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:38,748
(TOMMY LAUGHS)
1133
01:05:38,750 --> 01:05:42,888
You know my daddy always wanted
me to go to cookery school?
1134
01:05:44,054 --> 01:05:45,788
But what do I want
with gourmet cooking
1135
01:05:45,790 --> 01:05:48,527
when I could have
food like this?
1136
01:05:50,362 --> 01:05:53,061
Do you know where
this came from?
1137
01:05:53,063 --> 01:05:55,797
Some rich bitch
with a smooth pussy
1138
01:05:55,799 --> 01:05:59,037
that used to sit her ass
on a yellow Trans Am.
1139
01:06:01,406 --> 01:06:03,373
She's a Barbie doll!
1140
01:06:03,375 --> 01:06:05,511
I know 'cause I found her.
1141
01:06:09,813 --> 01:06:11,780
Well, Soggy Bottom Boys,
1142
01:06:11,782 --> 01:06:13,516
it looks like it's your time
1143
01:06:13,518 --> 01:06:15,851
'cause the whole town
needs sandwiches.
1144
01:06:15,853 --> 01:06:18,054
(TOMMY CACKLING)
1145
01:06:18,056 --> 01:06:20,790
(TOMMY GROANING)
1146
01:06:20,792 --> 01:06:23,362
(SMOOTH MUSIC)
1147
01:06:33,804 --> 01:06:35,904
Now ain't that a bit of luck?
1148
01:06:35,906 --> 01:06:37,909
Not a gunslinger in sight.
1149
01:06:39,476 --> 01:06:43,549
Maybe Oliver and Stanley will
finally escape El Dorado.
1150
01:06:44,949 --> 01:06:47,953
Whoop, on the other hand.
1151
01:06:58,096 --> 01:07:00,862
Mayor, the Soggy
Bottom Boys are escaping!
1152
01:07:00,864 --> 01:07:01,998
Escaping?
1153
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:04,166
Goddammit, I want them dead.
1154
01:07:04,168 --> 01:07:06,501
Real dead.
1155
01:07:06,503 --> 01:07:11,509
We gotta go kill these
sons of bitches, now.
1156
01:07:12,076 --> 01:07:14,713
(BLUES ROCK MUSIC)
1157
01:07:17,614 --> 01:07:19,784
(GUNFIRE)
1158
01:07:27,859 --> 01:07:31,494
Now this is what
we call a finale.
1159
01:07:31,496 --> 01:07:33,795
Riveting, isn't it?
1160
01:07:33,797 --> 01:07:35,967
(GUNFIRE)
1161
01:08:00,023 --> 01:08:02,161
(SCREAMING)
1162
01:08:08,967 --> 01:08:11,032
Don't even think
about it, Stanley.
1163
01:08:11,034 --> 01:08:12,804
Well, it's another fine mess.
1164
01:08:15,572 --> 01:08:16,872
- Break!
- What?
1165
01:08:16,874 --> 01:08:18,741
I said break!
1166
01:08:18,743 --> 01:08:20,611
Ollie look, it's the Mayor.
1167
01:08:25,249 --> 01:08:26,649
(CRASHING)
1168
01:08:26,651 --> 01:08:29,154
(MEN SCREAMING)
1169
01:08:31,021 --> 01:08:32,087
(FIRE CRACKLING)
1170
01:08:32,089 --> 01:08:34,826
(MEN GROANING)
1171
01:08:37,829 --> 01:08:40,232
OLIVER: Look,
Stanley, it's the car.
1172
01:08:45,069 --> 01:08:48,970
So Ollie, where's
the next gig?
1173
01:08:48,972 --> 01:08:52,043
- I better phone JJ.
- Ah, yeah.
1174
01:09:04,355 --> 01:09:07,159
(TIRES SQUEALING)
1175
01:09:11,728 --> 01:09:13,362
So what the hell you
got there, Stanley?
1176
01:09:13,364 --> 01:09:15,765
Well you know that Trans Am
1177
01:09:15,767 --> 01:09:18,768
at the back of the
diner near the washroom?
1178
01:09:18,770 --> 01:09:20,038
- Yeah?
- Well in there,
1179
01:09:20,972 --> 01:09:22,708
do you want me to take it back?
1180
01:09:24,575 --> 01:09:29,046
("HIGHWAY TO HELL" BY AC/DC)
1181
01:12:32,929 --> 01:12:35,333
What's so wrong with my food?
1182
01:12:36,299 --> 01:12:38,003
What's wrong with my food?
1183
01:12:39,169 --> 01:12:40,304
Did I add too many spices?
1184
01:12:42,572 --> 01:12:44,405
I don't know.
1185
01:12:44,407 --> 01:12:46,111
I want to be a chef.
1186
01:12:49,179 --> 01:12:50,182
Aye!
1187
01:12:51,481 --> 01:12:53,819
(SOBBING)
1188
01:12:55,152 --> 01:12:57,418
What's wrong with my cooking?
1189
01:12:57,420 --> 01:12:59,320
What's wrong with my cooking?
1190
01:12:59,322 --> 01:13:02,293
Please, God, tell me,
what am I doing so wrong?
1191
01:13:06,230 --> 01:13:10,035
Ladies and gentlemen,
that is the end.
1192
01:13:13,507 --> 01:13:14,898
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