Original subtitles

WINTER BOY

- Don't you want to drive? - No.

It's all right.

My name is Lucas,

and my life has become a wild animal

that I can't approach without getting bitten.

All my ideas frighten me.

I recognize nothing now.

Everything in my mind feels like a threat.

It has to end.

I have to be able to start over again.

I feel it deep inside.

It's like an inner need rotting my brain.

Something keeps telling me

to gather everything together.

I must see what happened again, or I'm lost and it's over.

I don't know if I should fear it's already over.

It's stupid fearing what has already happened.

Before, I was just a high school student.

Getting started is the hard part.

Maybe I've started, but that's not the case.

I'm at high school.

My name's Lucas.

I'm 17.

But I feel even that isn't me anymore.

Oscar boards too.

He lives in my village, one hour from school.

But...

We take the bus together

every Monday morning.

I don't want to think about him now.

I'll talk about him later. I'll start with my dad.

Dad taking me to school by car.

Two weeks ago.

When I was still intact.

We're approaching Chambéry.

I watch my father driving.

We hadn't seen each other much,

with his work.

We don't have much to say to each other.

But I remember him saying...

What's up, kiddo?

He could've had another life,

not that of a valley village prosthodontist.

Don't screw up the year.

I won't be a drag and say high school is important,

but it all begins there.

Fine, say what you think.

Don't get regrets later.

When I was your age, if I'd been more disciplined,

I might have another life.

I could have lived differently.

You're not happy?

That's not the issue.

I know you said it to motivate me,

but you dared to question your life in front of me.

What I felt then, sitting by you in that car,

was sorrow.

Because I know

I agree with you.

I too would have wanted better for you.

I wanted to say something kind and reassuring,

but had no time.

I thought I'd die in your arms.

I remember thinking

I'd prefer to die

in those arms.

Why didn't I die that morning?

Come here.

I'm sorry. Are you OK?

Are you OK? You're not injured?

Let's get out of here.

No need to tell your mother.

Not your fault, that jerk overtook you.

I know it wasn't my fault.

It's probably stupid to think

it was like a sign

or a prediction.

But that's what I believe now.

I think I was warned that morning something would happen.

I was sent a sign.

It came from above.

I didn't understand. I didn't realize it announced death.

Good night.

Time for bed.

See you tomorrow. Good night.

- Lights out, Lucas. - I'll just finish.

We have a test tomorrow.

All right.

I just need a quick word with him.

Hurry.

We'll meet up in Victor's room.

No, not tonight.

- I have work. - Good night.

Remember your mask, Milo.

Don't worry.

Good night.

It's Mr Loison, Lucas.

Mr Loison enters the room.

My room.

He's my parents' neighbour.

He taught me physics at middle school.

My brother is there but avoids me.

You have to come with us.

I greet my cousin.

When I touch the skin of her cheeks, I feel it's strange for a dream,

to have such a real sense of touch.

Get dressed.

Mr Loison says I have to go with them now,

that we'll come back later to pick up my things.

He speaks like dictating an exercise.

He tells me to dress.

What's up?

Your father had a car accident last night.

He's in hospital.

Is it serious?

I invent a story.

I think my father had his accident

while delivering to dentists.

I think of last night's storm.

My father aquaplaned.

No idea where I heard that, but I cling to it.

His car skidded into the ditch.

My father with crutches.

His accident,

the way others pass exams, have birthdays or tumours.

Is Dad dead?

I enter our house.

I first see my mother's sister.

I give her a kiss. I smile.

I embrace my father's parents.

I say, "Hello, how are you?"

How can I ask how they are?

I feel ashamed because of that.

Be brave.

Yet I ask everyone I see.

I should shut up, but I smile, "Hello, how are you?"

I hear them telling me to be brave,

to be a man, not to scare my mother...

Long time, no see.

But I don't scare anyone as I smile and embrace them all.

Lucas...

My little darling.

Why didn't you say he was here?

I wanted to tell him.

He knows, Isabelle.

Come on.

I was worried because

he didn't come home after his rounds.

The police came to tell me.

His car

swerved and rammed into a truck opposite.

We don't know why, it's inexplicable.

Maybe he fell asleep or...

We don't know.

He died instantly.

There was no one to fetch you.

Quentin

managed to get back from Paris.

He arrived in the night.

I wanted to tell you myself, sweetheart.

Where is he?

At the hospital.

I couldn't see him yesterday...

It took a long time to get him out...

They're taking him...

to the funeral home in Chambéry.

Mum, you're...

You're still young.

You can start a new life.

Sweetheart...

Quentin, come here.

Come here.

I try to focus, to think,

but all I can think of

is someone will yell at me for getting my shoes on the bed.

All of a sudden,

I feel everything shatter within me.

My lungs start burning up.

Come here...

Come here, sonny.

Let me.

Sweetheart, calm down.

Calm down.

There, sweetheart...

Calm down.

It'll be OK.

Uncover his shoulder.

- It'll be OK. - It'll help you relax.

I don't want it, I don't.

Calm down.

Here goes.

There, it's over.

Let's leave them.

We must pray for him.

His face looks good, you needn't be afraid.

Hold on, a friend's here.

You'll regret it.

- Been here long? - Just got here.

We'll take a walk.

How's your mother?

I haven't seen her much.

The whole family turned up.

I feel in the way.

She forces herself to welcome people.

You can sleep at my place.

My parents offered.

No, I have to stay with them.

When'll you be back at school?

- I might not be back. - Really?

I can't stay a boarder.

I need to be closer to my mother.

Nothing's decided yet.

We can't talk with everyone here.

Not the priests at St Marc?

I might have no choice.

I understand.

Besides, school, now...

How do you feel?

I dunno.

I feel sort of anaesthetized.

I've always known your dad.

Are you crying?

It won't help me if you cry.

It's not love, you know.

I know.

Maybe one day.

Maybe one day, but not with me.

What's that chimney over there?

A factory.

They must burn disgusting stuff. It stinks.

Right, they're waiting for me.

Can you turn it up?

Beautiful.

I like it.

Beautiful, isn't it?

I'd also like our song, your father's and mine.

- We can't play that. - We can.

The song we dance to every Christmas.

We can't play it in the church.

It's what I want.

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark?

That won't work.

I'm not sure.

Sure you won't come? You can change your mind.

No, it's OK.

Stay here, nice and quiet, OK?

I'm sorry.

Not at all. It's OK.

All right, let's go.

See you later.

I'll look after the house.

He's creating a permanent buzz.

He goes on TV, he promotes his books.

He's even saying now he may run for president.

You believe it?

No, he has no...

He has no potential as president, he's a showman.

So what?

In a democracy, he has the right to run.

Millions will vote for him.

A democracy? Zemmour represents fascists.

The leftist's Godwin's law: a fascist.

Zemmour is a fascist.

A kid takes an interest in politics for once

and gets labelled a fascist.

Me taking an interest doesn't count.

It's just noise.

He went to the Bataclan on November 13th

to blame Hollande for the attacks.

What did he say?

He said the Bataclan attacks were...

Can I speak?

Hollande disrespected the French by leaving the borders open.

He said Hollande let Arabs into France.

He took a risk. He didn't protect the French.

With closed borders, there'd be no Bataclan, Charlie Hebdo,

and we'd have a normal youth.

So you mean all terrorists are people who came

from a foreign country?

Where did the Bataclan shooters come from?

Enough of this crap in my father's home.

So shut up, Christophe,

and you too Basile, get it?

Tell me something.

Did the priest say Dad didn't believe in God?

- Don't say that. - Why not?

It was a nice ceremony.

The church was packed.

The speeches were very moving.

Come with me.

Quentin...

Sit here and calm down.

Bravo.

It's not a day for that kind of thing.

It's a funeral. Not a political rally.

He'd talk politics.

No one minded.

I'll leave tomorrow.

I have important appointments. A curator's coming Wednesday

to see my work. I can't postpone it.

Besides, in any case,

staying here gets me down.

I'm counting on you, Lucas.

It's a new responsibility for you.

I know you didn't expect it but...

It's landed on you, like the rest of us.

Maybe you should change schools and go to St Marc.

You'd be here every evening. What d'you say?

Quentin, I don't want to go back to high school.

I know, it stresses you out,

but you have no choice.

You have exams this year. You need to get to work.

Besides, it's better for you

to focus on something. It'll occupy your mind.

That's a totally dumb thing to say.

It's stupid.

I don't want my mind occupied until it passes.

It won't pass right away.

Our old life is over.

So I want everything to change.

It isn't over.

We'll manage without him.

You're right.

Easy for you. You've managed without us for years.

Two years of high school is nothing.

Then you can do what you want.

What?

You don't care about us.

Why do I bother? You don't get it.

All you want to do

is get back to Paris, your friends,

and your career that's taking off.

Don't worry, Mum and I will stay here,

in our place, and deal with grief.

Shut up.

You'll be back in three months for Mum's birthday,

then for mine,

then... You'll bring nice little presents.

But then leave again.

And, after that,

we can hope for you at Christmas.

And that's all.

- Think what you like. - You make me sick.

You just want us out of your life.

Shut your mouth!

Stop pissing me off, OK?

I'm sick of it!

- Quentin! - Piss off!

Don't touch me, you hear!

It's over! Don't touch me again!

Lucas!

Lucas, come here!

Leave him, let's go back in. Let him have his meltdown.

Mum, come inside now.

Don't tell me how to deal with your brother!

Go in, it's not a show.

Asshole!

Why does he hate me?

Don't be silly. Come here.

Let's go back, we'll catch a chill. Come on.

You go. I'm sick of them all.

Make an effort. Come on.

They're here to help us, OK?

Once they all leave, the house will be very empty.

I'll enrol at St Marc,

so you won't be alone.

No, that's out of the question.

Stay with your friends in Chambéry. I'll see you at weekends.

I don't need you or your brother to look after me.

I have to keep on looking after you both.

I can see the year out. Then we'll see about next year.

No, we won't.

Don't start worrying. Come on.

What'll you do?

What'll you do?

I'll go back to work at school.

The children need me.

I'm their teacher. They're learning to read.

What'll you do for yourself, Mum?

I'm going to wait.

I have no other choice

but to get by without your father. I'll try...

to accept it.

Maybe, one day, I'll be really old and tell myself

I was lucky to grow old, unlike your father.

Got a cigarette for me?

A trick question?

Give me one if you have any. I'm sure you do.

Where are they? There they are.

We left you dessert.

No, thanks. D'you want some?

Be brave.

Bye.

- I can't make it. - You can.

You'll make it.

I'll help you.

I've lost everything.

In the veranda...

I suggest

taking Lucas to Paris with me for a week.

I can't take care of you much, but it'll be a break before school.

If Mum agrees, we'll leave tomorrow.

Would you like that?

Yes.

I won't have much time for you.

We leave at 9 for the station.

Can I sleep at Oscar's?

At Oscar's?

- Can I sleep there? - Yes.

Pack your bag for Paris first.

I love you both.

At Oscar's, I decided on a new destiny for myself.

I wanted to live alone,

refusing to let anyone make demands of me.

It was more than a resolution, it was a vow.

I didn't want to owe anyone anything.

For that, I was ready to sacrifice the very idea of love.

What're you looking for?

I'm putting some music on.

You're here too?

I couldn't find Dad's grave.

I thought it was that one with flowers.

No, it's this one.

I can go if you want to be alone.

What do you think Dad thought of me?

Apart from being a ball-buster?

Me being a fag disappointed him.

No. Why? He never said anything like that.

He knew before I did. I remember.

I was 8 or 9 at the time.

I still see the dismayed look you got, Dad,

when the two of us were alone at home.

You looked worn out in advance.

As if he'd made up his mind about me long before,

and that I'd bring him nothing good.

Don't say that. And don't believe it.

It's not true, OK?

Dad never thought like that.

He loved you completely.

Get that shit out of your mind.

Don't blame the dead.

Why not?

We leave in 40 minutes.

If a client arrives, act like we don't know him, OK?

Usually, he waits there.

Hi, I'm Lucas.

Lilio, delighted.

C'mon, Quentin.

It'll be good

if you give him your keys...

I'll sleep at Lara's. I won't join you.

Lucas will be there when you get back.

When do you finish?

6 pm, but I can do stuff if you want to go out.

He'll stay in.

I gave him money to make dinner.

He's already exploiting you. Watch out.

My client.

Wait for me?

The stop is Place des Fêtes.

I noted the address, door code

and floor for you, OK?

Sorry, guys.

Drop us at the apartment?

Sorry, all I can offer is the garage.

I'd like to see the garage.

Get in.

No, Lara's waiting for me.

I'll take Lucas.

- Sure? - Yeah, he'd like that, right?

OK, see you later.

See you. Kiss Lara for me.

Come on, get in.

"You haven't hurt yourself Just as I thought

It's no use Sheltering from the wind

We are just seashells Scattered over the sand

With no chance of return

To when the sea was calm"

Lucas, forgive me. I'm sorry.

Sorry.

I'm an idiot, I didn't think.

Not at all. It's a pretty song too.

I'm sorry.

Come here.

Thanks.

It's me. Am I calling too late?

Not at all, sweetheart. It's good to hear you.

You're already in bed?

No, I'm...

I'm in my bedroom. I was just reading a bit.

So...

Tell me, how was your first day?

Great. Really great.

I'm happy I'm here.

It's so cool.

Where did your brother take you today?

He showed me the neighbourhood.

Then he took me to see the Seine.

At the Pont-Neuf?

I forget the name of the bridge.

The Pont-Neuf is by the Louvre.

You have to see the Louvre.

Try to see what you can't see here.

I'll do that. I'll ask him.

There's the Jeu de Paume Museum too.

In that same area. It's the one

with Monet's big Waterlilies.

I don't know them.

But I guess Quentin will.

Make him take you. He knows all that by heart.

I'll do that. I'll do that.

Got that, Mum.

How about you?

How do you feel?

It's quieter now.

Only Auntie and Granny are still here.

We were at the bank this morning for your father's life insurance.

I need to talk to you about it as you get a share each.

I'm not making money from Dad's death.

Don't start, Lucas.

You'll need it to study.

Take it all. I want nothing.

Listen, I'll explain better when you get back, OK?

Listen. I don't want to hear about that money.

I know it sounds absurd, like you're benefiting from it, but no.

Your father wanted it.

Let's stop claiming what Dad would have wanted.

He'd have wanted to live longer. No one knows the rest.

Don't be so harsh.

I have to be.

I asked you how you felt.

It depends on the time of day.

But don't worry,

I'll be OK.

Are you still there?

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Why do we find it so hard to say things are bad?

Are you taking the pills Dr Dauvert gave you?

I'm tired, Mum, I think I'll go now.

Call me tomorrow to tell me about your day.

All right?

Love and kisses, sweetheart.

Love you, Mum. Lots and lots.

Hi!

Hi.

Up you get. It's already 11.

- I need the place. - I slept so well!

Sorry about last night.

Lara was so upset about Dad, I stayed with her.

She didn't know him.

You can be upset for others.

Get up.

Yeah, give me five more minutes.

Did you touch my stuff?

No, I just looked.

That painting moved alone?

If you use my room, touch nothing.

I looked, OK, I didn't touch.

I saw some very pretty stuff.

Come on now, get up.

I need to tidy the place.

An important curator is due in under an hour.

You slept naked in my bed?

- C'mon... - That's disgusting!

Put a bathrobe on.

Has Lil left?

Yes, he works. It's Lilio, not Lil.

Lille is a city in northern France.

Make the bed, please.

Let me make coffee first.

Hurry, I need to concentrate.

Have coffee in a bar.

It'll be better.

I see you.

Butter in the fridge. Have a good day, kid!

You're the best, man! The Ricard prize next.

While the curator is here,

could I watch while you show her your work?

I'm really interested in what you do.

And it'd help me understand better.

Even if I know I'm not always supposed to try to understand anything.

You're not answering?

The answer's no. It's my work, not an open day.

I don't want you in our way.

This appointment's important.

It's bad enough not having a studio,

without my baby brother too.

Yeah, OK, I get it.

I'll see you for lunch.

But I'm not free, Lucas.

You said the lady would be here in an hour.

It won't last all day, will it?

It'll last the time it takes. I said an hour,

but she may not come until this afternoon.

It's sunny, I'll take a walk.

Great, take a walk. Try to stay out

until 6 pm.

6 pm? What'll I do until 6 pm?

I don't know. You wanted to come.

Walk, see a movie...

There's a pool nearby, I can lend you a bathing cap.

Work it out. You're not a baby.

If you're proud to be Parisian, clap your hands.

If you're proud to be Parisian, clap your hands.

Are you jerking my chain? Get going.

Yeah, I'm jerking it. Don't touch me, asshole!

I get it, I'm going.

You bet you are.

I warned you, so don't whinge now.

However much you tidy up, your place will still suck.

How can you make a good impression?

Shut up!

Shut up and get the hell out!

I have an important appointment and you piss me off!

Screw your appointment, I don't need you!

I wish. Get out!

Here, ten euros for food, now piss off.

And stay out till 6!

I don't want to talk now about my first day alone in Paris.

It had its importance,

but I didn't know that at the time.

I thought it was important.

I'm getting mixed up. I don't know what to say exactly,

but it was a day when I walked a lot.

When I felt cold.

I won't lie, so I'll say it's also a day I met someone

and when I spoke to a priest.

I got back at 6 pm,

as Quentin had asked.

I hadn't been in touch all day

out of pride, I admit,

cos things had happened.

When I got back, the door was locked and I panicked.

For a few seconds, I thought he didn't want me there again.

Quentin, it's me.

I'm at the door, but no one's here.

Do I wait for you here or come there?

What's the name again?

How's it going?

Sonia, meet my country brother, Lucas.

Sonia taught us at the Cergy Art School.

We're celebrating.

The curator is programming me

at Lafayette Anticipations.

Excellent!

Who's the bouquet for?

For you. I was sure it would go well.

Come here, kiddo.

That's my baby brother.

Another round, Hamid, please.

What now?

If we can't say anything, it's hard to talk to you.

- He was at Art School too? - Yes, we met there.

What you did then

has played tricks on you since.

Students do caricatures of teachers.

It's healthy. Plus you signed them

before posting them.

But that one was too much.

They weren't funny?

The others were, but that one was problematic.

We were all so embarrassed for Hélène.

She wasn't. She never accused me.

Everyone was furious.

Thanks, Hamid.

I promised myself I'd stay silent.

I didn't want them getting a bad opinion of me.

They were going to talk about art, for sure.

I had to avoid speaking, above all.

Because I knew nothing

and, if I expressed an idea, Quentin would demolish it

and I'd look ridiculous.

You drew her, pursued by a hideous man

with all the codes of wealth,

and gave him clawed hands.

They weren't clawed.

And you gave her a big smile, as if she wanted to be caught.

She went on about her bourgeois habitus,

I drew her with the phantom of the bourgeoisie.

Period.

You joked by showing her as a Jew unable

to escape the demon of money.

What are you working on? I'd like...

I'm not working.

That's not true.

It is.

I park cars at the Gare de Lyon.

That's my work.

You're wrong to give up.

Next autumn,

there's a show on "Art in Africa and its diaspora."

I could give the curator your file.

You have stuff, right?

Sorry, I've nothing to offer.

My family's Italian, you know.

That bitch, demanding I give her African masks...

After insinuating my drawings were anti-Semitic.

Checking my teeth would be less perverse.

C'mon, she's fought in anti-racist groups all her life.

Thanks to whites like her, you got into Fine Arts.

White fragility now. Get lost.

So art is over for you?

It isn't.

The gentleman may be anti-Semitic, but he has talent.

Separate the man from the artist.

Anti-Semitic, like any person of race who shows up their racism.

I'm sick of that too.

The bitch. I feel like dying.

Anti-Semitic and, I forgot, a misogynist.

I love this one.

It's beautiful.

See the style?

Yeah, I like it.

I didn't expect it to be like this.

See the detail?

Can I show him this one?

- I think so. - Show me everything.

This gets straight to the point.

Hold on...

Say hi to your fans.

This one's for you.

Show the secret ones.

Secret drawings?

They're kind of private.

Can I see them?

Go ahead, take a look.

In any case, it's all work.

It's funny.

You only draw guys.

Yeah, male bodies in general.

I got the balls wrong, but I like it.

Two nice pears.

You prefer those to my hives.

You did this in a mirror?

Sorry.

That's the really daring stuff.

You want to sleep here, you drag?

I know never sharing a bed is a family tradition,

but we could make an exception.

I have no intention of hearing or seeing you sleep.

You know,

you can talk about Dad to me.

You can talk to me too if you want.

All right.

I promised to relate that first day.

It unfolded in two stages.

Between the two, I spent a lot of time

walking in the city, feeling cold...

The two stages

have nothing in common.

Told this way, you might think

that one has a connection with the other, but no.

It just happened like that.

I felt like praying and I had a hook-up.

Hi.

Cool, you didn't lie about your age.

Do I close the door?

Coming?

Hello.

Hello.

Beautiful, isn't it?

It's like a Rubens, but it isn't one.

Am I in the way?

Why? The church is open.

It's OK, my parents won't be back before 8.

I feel like an idiot.

We can stop if I'm not your type.

No, it's not that.

I'm just not used to direct hook-ups like this.

But I want that to change.

Why?

I don't know.

I don't like my mind right now.

I'd prefer

my body to take all the space,

with everything light as a feather.

So allow yourself everything.

But I'm not quite there yet.

He looks pretty dead.

Yes, you're right.

It seems hopeless.

And yet...

May I ask

how can you explain the Resurrection?

Let's say...

the Resurrection is what gives hope,

and what awakens within us the desire

and courage to live.

But I don't think that answers your question.

It does actually.

I think I understand what it means.

It's like...

a way to a lost supernatural life.

Something lost that was returned to us.

The Resurrection

is an integral part of Redemption.

Death opens onto life,

and the Resurrection ends the suffering on the Cross.

The mystery of suffering

only finds its ultimate solution

in the mystery of a dying and glorified Christ.

This will probably sound stupid,

but I think...

I see that like

suddenly recalling something you had forgotten.

Have you lost someone recently?

I don't want to talk about that.

I can't stay.

Thank you for listening.

That's a really dumb idea.

Why?

Because I want to see you again.

That's kind.

But...

Once is good too, you know.

You're the first guy I had sex with anonymously.

My name is...

No, say nothing. Shut up.

You'll meet guys less gifted than me.

You think so?

I'm sure of it.

You're here for a week, so stay focused.

Stick to one subject.

Getting trapped makes provincials attractive.

You're more Parisian than me.

You really think so?

That's provincial. No Parisian is proud of being one.

Your number or you don't leave.

My father died last week.

That's how I spent my first day.

But the memorable part,

what I found memorable,

is I spent the night that followed

in the same room as Lilio,

just centimetres from him.

- Want to get some air? - Sure.

I was too cold in the hallway.

Heel on the trash bin.

Come on, move.

Ten to warm up.

Wake up.

The coach runs with his ankles, does he?

Knees to hands.

Higher.

Maybe you're old, but I can run easy.

That's no good. Stand on that thing for a better view.

- Smile or not? - Smile, it's for Mum.

You don't mind me leaving you?

No, not at all, really.

No worries.

Stay out till dinner. Lilio needs to focus on his work.

Yes, he told me.

I'll do the shopping and then...

He may not stay for dinner.

Work it out.

The Orangerie Museum is easy.

Walk across the Tuileries Gardens

till you reach two buildings like Greek temples.

On the right, the Jeu de Paume.

Despite what Mum said, the Waterlilies aren't there.

Visit the left one.

The entrance is at the front or on the side.

I should manage it.

You can't really go wrong.

I'm off, kiddo. See you tomorrow.

Wait for me at home so I can get in.

The Louvre was fun with you.

See you tomorrow.

Bye.

What's up?

Back already?

- Am I disturbing you? - Yes.

I'm expecting someone.

Come back later.

I'll stay in Quentin's room.

No, you really should go.

Hi, Thierry.

- You OK? - Can I come in?

My friend's brother is just leaving.

He can stay.

No, he's leaving.

A threesome suits me.

I'll pay extra.

Another 50, say.

- He's going. - Yes, I'll leave you.

See you later.

- Have a good day. - You too.

That's done.

If you need my services, one on one, I'm ready.

Really?

Aren't you a bit young?

Got a phone number?

What's yours?

Hello, ma'am.

0760209587.

Now you can call me, and I can call you.

If we do it, leave Lilio be afterwards, OK?

An after-sex ciggie?

You're being a drag, Lucas.

What you do doesn't bother me.

I won't tell anyone.

It'd be sick if we fell out cos of it.

Stop imagining things, Lucas.

See him often?

You realize it's not for money?

It's a game you both play?

I'm eating at my mum's restaurant.

I told Quentin I'd take you along, if you want.

Really?

We'll go later, after she finishes serving.

If you want.

It'll be cool.

What shall we do for now?

Any ideas?

Maybe you could take the time to explain

the game with that guy.

None of your business, jerk.

Delivery, 9 am tomorrow.

OK, madam.

- 9 am. - Yes, 9.

OK, off you go.

Were you a cook here?

I helped my mum out.

You know every dish on the menu?

Every single one.

- Is that on the menu? - No.

Something smells good!

What is it, son?

He ought to try kik alicha.

- Says who? - He's a shrimp.

Eat it all up!

No leftovers here.

I always finish my food.

He saw that last night.

That's good. Hold on, let me wipe that up.

No, let me cook in peace.

Help her set the table, Lucas.

That's a pretty table.

This is for the one who can come calling anytime.

Tell me...

How's your mother?

Is she managing?

Yes.

I know it's hard to lose your dad, honey,

but losing your husband...

You lose all your bearings.

You lose half yourself, your lifetime companion.

It's awful.

She's really going to need you.

You don't need your dad, you're big now, see?

My husband was so handsome!

Him...

The same.

I think we've covered it.

Whenever we talk about your dad...

It's always a bad time.

He's the one who left, remember.

- For a slut. - Jesus...

- What? - Do we need to do this now?

- You're going to defend her? - Not now, OK.

OK, let's forget your father.

Let's talk about you.

What's the situation, love-wise?

Has Fabrice...

It's dead calm right now.

Fabrice left a while ago.

I never liked him.

Why not?

- Too white maybe. - Shit.

Or you, not enough.

Mum, you're embarrassing.

Really embarrassing.

You don't get it, you honkie. Know what a honkie is?

- No, what? - A white boy.

Leave him alone.

It's true.

I've been around and I've seen stuff...

It's not the same for others.

No.

I know that.

Just warning him.

Got a girlfriend?

Black? White? Yellow?

You're too much. Leave him be.

I'm just asking!

It's a touchy issue.

No, I'm free.

He's free!

What are you doing?

If I wait for you to make a move, I reckon it could take forever.

Life is tough for you, but aren't you rushing things?

I don't wanna waste time.

Nothing lasts, so I won't wait.

You may be wrong.

About what?

Me being ready for this.

Like you're not a fag?

I'm a total fag, OK.

But you're my friend's brother. You don't want this.

I want it.

It's all I want.

You're gonna meet other guys...

OK, stop.

- I'm sure. - Sorry I kissed you.

You're Quentin's kid brother.

I'm 29, you're 17.

Shut up. Don't lecture me, please.

You're wrong about me.

I'm just older than you.

I know things you can't imagine.

Come on, Lucas.

Let's go for a walk.

No, I start early.

Oscar can help,

but you can ask your teachers too.

They're bound to know what happened.

You heard me, Lucas?

You'll see the other boarders again.

With them, it can only get better.

It's like I spend my life here.

Isn't Lilio here?

No, like I said, I'm alone.

You didn't tell me what you charge.

- 50. - 50 euros?

150 euros.

We do what you want.

I don't want anything.

I just want you to tell Lilio everything.

Lilio?

Yes, tell him everything we do.

Not so fast.

Let me look at you.

Turn around.

No, keep the underpants on. Nice and slow.

We're in no rush.

Is that Lilio?

That sly devil planned it all.

What's going on? Who are you?

Get out of my place.

Shame on you.

What's going on? Are you nuts?

Come here! What's going on?

What's all this money?

Why's this money here?

Why is it here?

Why do you do this?

I'm fucking sick of you! Why?

- Why d'you do this? - It's a game!

A game? You call this a game?

Go on, get some clothes on. A game?

I'm sending you home.

It was a bad idea bringing you here.

It's true.

Go home and say nothing.

Mum doesn't need to know.

You need to control yourself.

It's sick profiting from Dad's death that way.

I know, I screwed up. I'm sorry.

Everything's so sad now.

Your grief can't wreck it all.

You have to think of me and of Mum.

We're not animals.

We hurt like you do.

Keep me here.

Keep me here with you, please.

No, you'll be at home tonight.

This is where I am now.

Maybe I skipped stuff, but I couldn't take two more weeks.

I miss you, Dad.

I need you.

Hear what I say.

Everything seems too clear since you died.

I feel I know our exact place in the world.

And that place, Dad,

is worth nothing.

We can talk, if you want.

You can tell me anything.

Tell me what happened in Paris.

It could help us.

I wonder...

What? What do you wonder?

I wonder if I should worry or not.

You're real pains, your brother and you.

I don't want secrets between us.

Don't you have secrets?

What are you implying?

Nothing.

If you have a question, ask it.

What's on your mind?

Tell me.

Could Dad have done it on purpose?

What?

Losing control of his car on a straight road,

with a truck opposite, maybe he wanted it.

You drive the last few kilometres.

Supervised driving means you need to drive.

It's the story of my shame...

that settled inside my mind,

destroyed everything

and began to rule.

It rots my head and my heart.

I speak as a judge, knowing I'm guilty.

You see me fall.

You can't deny, Dad, you didn't see where I was heading.

I feel inexcusable.

I confused the best with the worst.

I thought, with your death, the world was telling me the truth.

But it didn't.

There's no more truth now than before.

No one tells the truth.

We have to stay silent.

I'll stay silent.

Until I'm told the truth,

my mouth will stay shut.

I'm stepping into silence.

I swear to God.

Come on.

What are you up to?

The vice-principal is waiting.

I'll leave your bag here.

Let's go. Fold up the sides.

Hang on there, Lucas.

Stay with us.

I'll call you. Don't worry, I'll call you.

You can go with him.

Climb in, madam.

You're in an ambulance now.

We're good.

I'm closing the door.

It's so hot.

Can't we do anything?

No, sorry.

It seems to be jammed.

Can you manage?

Well?

Hold on, what are you doing?

You need to leave soon.

A couple more minutes.

Let's do it gently.

- Here you go. - Thank you.

It's not easy to leave.

But two weeks

without a visit isn't that long, sweetheart.

You'll be able to rest here.

We can write to you, so I'll do it every day, promise.

But maybe

you'll get mail once a week.

The doctor decides.

All right.

Don't worry if you can't reply.

The pyjamas are just for a day or two, they said.

Remember what they told you.

You can borrow books from the library.

I can't hang around.

I shouldn't even be in your room.

If it's clear for you, I'll go.

You're not locked in here, you know that?

You can leave

as soon as you feel better, all right?

You decide, the doctor said. It's a "voluntary" hospitalization.

See you soon.

I love you.

Quentin loves you.

You'll make it, sweetheart.

Goodbye.

The two of us can play a quick game one day.

Besides, I bet you'll win.

All right...

Let's do the guided tour.

OK, Lucas?

You have a church to your right.

We'll go there later.

Ready to order?

We can choose dessert today?

Yes, for Christmas.

What do you fancy, boys?

I'll go for the Black Forest cake.

Chocolate sundae for Lucas.

And you, Quentin?

Nothing for me.

Just coffee.

For my sake,

have a dessert.

So I have no choice.

Chocolate sundae then.

Thank you.

What is it?

A new exhibition.

Ibexes...

They're pretty. Beautiful. A fine animal.

Maybe you could offer

to exhibit your stuff, to make a change.

Seriously?

You have to show your work.

As if my goal in life has always been

a show at the Chambéry hospital eatery.

You're disgusting!

He'd finished, so I gave him a bit more.

Inefficiency, immobility.

One example, shutting down Fessenheim

to buy electricity

from coal-powered plants outside France.

It's one huge symbol.

The government is forcing the country

to move from the 21st century

to the 19th one.

It's an attack on the climate

and on national sovereignty.

And, above all,

an attack on future generations.

FAMILY ROOM 3

See you later.

His tea is boiling hot.

Not talking can be handy.

It forces others to do it for you.

I know the technique, I've used it too.

My train leaves at 5:30 pm.

It's fine by me if we don't talk.

It's OK if you have nothing to say.

No one asked me to come. I came because I felt I ought to.

Because I wanted to see you.

To see how you were doing.

It's hard talking to Quentin about you.

He seems stressed somehow. It isn't easy.

Besides, I wouldn't want to betray you

by saying something I shouldn't.

I don't know if I'm partly responsible for what you did,

but know I've never thought ill of you.

Nor wanted you hurt.

I think of you every day now.

Maybe not the way you'd like but...

Maybe I'm younger than you, like you said,

but I get exhausted too sometimes.

Some mornings, I don't know how I'll make it to evening.

It's a daily battle.

Everything crashes into me.

And it never ends.

Thank you.

You'll be back by 6 pm?

All right.

- Have a nice walk. - Thank you.

Let's go this way.

What is it?

Where were you?

You're soaked.

You went for a run?

You went into town? You went out?

I'm not saying you can't, but did you let them know?

I've brought your clean laundry.

I didn't know you ran outside the grounds.

What is it?

I saw Lilio to the station, that's why.

When did you start speaking?

Now. Just now, with you.

You know, Mum, I think

it's time we saw Fortineau to tell him I can leave.

I'll be right there.

It's silly to think you had anything to do with it.

It's silly to think you're watching over your son.

That you're his ally

and can bring him back to life by giving him some of your strength.

It's silly, but it's so good to believe it tonight.

The beauty of it warms me for the first time since you went away.

For the first time, my heart feels less cold

and your absence less awful.

I know you're with me.

You're here.

And even though, my love, you won't be in our bed,

even though I'll nestle against emptiness again,

listen to what I'm going to tell you.

For the first time, I'll fall asleep without being angry at you.

I'm not mad at you anymore.

I miss you.

I'm not as strong as you thought.

Forgive me.

Do I have the right to be so happy without you?

How will I manage the years if I can't share them with you?

Be with me, my love.

Never leave me.

You're back? Forgot something?

Yes.

See you tomorrow.

I left the ball out. Could you put it away?

Yes, I'll see to it.

Yes, Mum, I knew Lilio was coming down.

A quick round-trip. He just got back.

What? Lucas spoke to you?

Hold on a second...

What?

What are you saying?

He really spoke?

First, Lucas told me about Lilio,

then said we should see Fortineau to ask to be discharged.

No, we didn't, it was too late.

I said I'd call the secretary tomorrow.

But your brother was very calm when he said it.

Very sure of himself.

I think we can trust him.

Of course we can.

It's his decision.

Let me know after you see the doctor.

Want me to come down to go with you?

Let me know when you get an appointment.

He's going to make it, Mum.

I know, but even if we're scared,

we mustn't show it, OK?

Can you give me Lilio's number, please?

No, I won't call him.

Your brother did a video on my phone and asked me to send it to him.

Yes, text it to me.

Love you, darling.

You haven't hurt yourself

Just as I thought

You see, it's no use at all

Sheltering from the wind

We are just seashells

Scattered over the sand

With no chance of return

To when the sea was calm

You were a little scared

Just as I thought

You see, it's no use at all

Withdrawing into yourself

We are just seashells

Scattered over the sand

With no chance of return

To when the sea was calm

Not anymore

Yes, I'm done.

TO MY FATHER