Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON

"MYSTERY, INCORPORATED..."

- THERE IT IS...

THE UNDERSEA TOWN!

- I THINK THAT'S - THE LOST TOWN OF MISSIONARIES

THAT DISAPPEARED

ABOUT 300 YEARS AGO.

- THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

NIBIRU...

- IT SOUNDED LIKE... - NIBIRU.

MY FAVORITE

INTERNET ENCYCLOPEDIA SAYS

THE NIBIRU COLLISION IS

A DISASTROUS ENCOUNTER

BETWEEN THE EARTH

AND A LARGE PLANETARY OBJECT.

I HAVE COBBLED TOGETHER

THE PLANOSPHERIC DISC.

A RUDIMENTARY PLAYER FOR

- [ALL GASP] NIBIRU!

- DOOMSDAY!

- NIBIRU.

[LAUGHTER]

[CRICKETS]

- WELCOME,

VOLUNTEER STAGE HANDS.

THANKS TO YOUR COURT-ORDERED

COMMUNITY SERVICE,

- YOU GET TO BE A PART OF - THIS YEARLY TRADITION

WHERE WE THEATRICALLY RECREATE

SOMETHING HORRID

FROM OUR CITY'S

SORDID PAST.

- AND WHAT COULD BE - MORE HORRID

THAN THAT NIGHT

500 YEARS AGO

WHEN A TERRIFYING EARTHQUAKE

SENT THE FIRST TOWN

OF CRYSTAL COVE

SINKING INTO THE SEA?

ALL WOULD HAVE PERISHED

THE BRAVE EFFORTS

IF IT WEREN'T FOR

OF FRIAR GABRIELLO SERRA

AND HIS TRUSTY DONKEY PORTO.

AND I'M VERY PLEASED

TO ANNOUNCE

THAT THE ROLE OF FRIAR SERRA

WILL BE PLAYED BY

NONE OTHER THAN

MASTER THESPIAN

CRYSTAL COVE HIGH'S

DOOGLE McGINNIS!

- TA! HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING?

- WELL, DOOGLE,

READY TO REHEARSE?

- CHA! YOU BET!

BUT, UM,

WHAT'S WITH THE DEAD GUY?

- BURLINGTON LIBRARY SENT OVER

GENUINE ARTIFACTS

TO HELP LEND OUR PRODUCTION

AUTHENTICITY,

INCLUDING THE MUMMIFIED BODY

OF FRIAR SERRA HIMSELF.

ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?

[CLICKS]

WHAT HAPPENED

TO THE LIGHTS?

- [CREAKS] - [HISSING]

- [LOW ROARING]

- AAH! AH!

- [ALL SCREAMING]

- [GROWLS] - [BOTH GASP]

- [ROARS]

- [BOTH SCREAMING]

- [GRUNTING AND WHIMPERING]

- [ROARS]

- [SCREAMS]

- [GROWLS]

- [SNARLS] - [SCREAMS]

- ANYONE WHO DARES TELL MY STORY

IS DOOMED!

- SCOOBY-DOOBY-DOO!

- UP THE SERVANT STAIRCASE,

QUICK!

- - BUT DAPHNE, - YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

- YES, FRED, I DO.

- YOU CAN'T KEEP LIVING - BY THE RIVER

IN THE MYSTERY MACHINE.

YOU'RE BEGINNING TO... SMELL.

- - BUT I'VE BEEN USING - MY HOBO SOAP.

- HOBO SOAP?

- - A PINE CONE DIPPED - IN DEER SWEAT

- AND SCENTED - WITH FERRET MUSK.

- BLECH.

- [SNIFFS] HMM.

- WHOA.

- YOU AND NOVA SHOULD BE

OK IN HERE.

BATHROOM'S IN THERE.

THERE'S REAL SOAP IN THE SHOWER.

USE IT.

- I'LL VISIT YOU

EVERY DAY.

[BELL DINGS]

- LIKE, IT'S A TEXT - FROM VINCENT VAN GHOUL.

- WHAT DOES IT SAY?

"HEEP"?

WHAT THE HECK'S THAT MEAN?

- I MEANT TO TYPE "HELP."

I'M NO GOOD WITH

THESE NEW-FANGLED GADGETS.

BUT I WAS IN

SUCH A PANICKED STATE...

MAYOR NETTLES CALLED

OVER THE PLAY.

AND ASKED ME TO TAKE

EVIDENTLY, THE DIRECTOR

AND THE STAR SUDDENLY QUIT.

- OBVIOUSLY, - I JUMPED AT THE CHANCE.

- I'M A GREAT SUPPORTER - OF AMATEUR DRAMATICS.

AND TRUTH BE TOLD,

MY CAREER COULD USE A GOOSE.

BUT WHEN I ARRIVE,

I FIND THE SET'S BEEN DESTROYED.

AND WORSE,

THE ONLY COPY OF THE SCRIPT

HAS BEEN RIPPED

TO PIECES!

WHAT AM I TO DO?

[CRYING]

- DON'T WORRY, - MR. VAN GHOUL.

- WE'LL HELP YOU.

- WE WILL? - WE WILL.

AFTER ALL THE TIMES

SCOOBY AND I IN TROUBLE,

YOU GUYS HAVE GOTTEN

YOU OWE US.

- BIG TIME.

- PLEASE?

- WELL... OK.

- OH, THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

- THIS I GOT TO SEE.

- GEORGE AVOCADOS?

- THAT'S AVACADOS.

- MR. AVOCADOS,

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- SWEEPING. THAT'S WHAT

A JANITOR DOES, ISN'T IT?

- JANITOR?

- AFTER YOU ALL DESTROYED

MY FARM,

THE ONLY JOB I COULD GET

WAS BACK HERE AT CITY HALL

AS A JANITOR!

AND A GOOD THING, TOO.

- NOW I GET TO WATCH YOU ALL - MAKE FOOLS OF YOURSELVES

- TRYING TO PUT ON - THAT PLAY.

AND WHEN YOU FAIL,

I'LL BE HERE

TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS.

[LAUGHS]

- AVOCADOS!

BACK TO WORK.

- THAT'S AVACADOS.

- BUT... - STIFLE IT, CHILES.

PERICLES HAS THE FLOOR.

- SO, THE KINDER STILL HAVE

THE DISC.

YOU COULDN'T EVEN MANIPULATE

YOUR OWN SON? PATHETIC.

- FINE. WE FAILED.

- THAT'S RIGHT, BRAD.

- NOT NOW, JUDY.

AREN'T YOU THE SMART ONE

THROUGH FRED'S RUSE?

WHO SHOULD HAVE SEEN

- DON'T PUSH ME,

OLDER PRETTY BOY.

I WANT THOSE PIECES,

AND SINCE YOU

DUMB BRIDE FAILED ME,

AND YOUR SWEET,

IT IS UP TO YOU

TO RECOVER THEM

BEFORE PEOPLE GET HURT.

- MOST OF THE SCRIPT'S MISSING,

- BUT IT LOOKS LIKE - THEY WERE TRYING

TO TELL THE STORY

OF FRIAR SERRA

AND HIS DONKEY PORTO.

- THE ONES - WHO SAVED EVERYONE

- WHEN THE FIRST TOWN - OF CRYSTAL COVE SANK

- INTO THE OCEAN? - MM-HMM.

- LIKE, THE SAME UNDERWATER TOWN

WITH THOSE KILLER ROBOTS?

- BINGO. - HUH?

[BOTH WHIMPER]

- I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND

- WHY MR. LeFRANC AND DOOGLE - WOULD SMASH THE SET

AND RUN OFF LIKE THAT.

- TYPICAL THEATER FOLK.

I ONCE SAW LIONEL BARRYMORE

A LEAD PIPE.

ATTACK A SETTEE WITH

BUT WE'LL SHOW THEM

WHO THE TRUE PROFESSIONALS ARE.

- BUT WHAT ABOUT - THE ACTORS?

- STOP! DON'T MOVE.

THAT CHIN. THAT NOSE.

YOU SHALL BE

FRIAR GABRIELO SERRA,

AND YOU SHALL BE

HIS DONKEY PORTO.

- WOW. A DONKEY!

- I SHOULD BE ABLE - TO REBUILD THE SET.

- AND I CAN MAKE - THE COSTUMES.

- AND I'LL FINISH - WRITING THE PLAY.

- OH, I LOVE IT.

IT'S SO CLICHE!

- BUT FIRST, I'LL NEED

FRIAR SERRA AND PORTO.

TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT

- [HISSES]

- HUH?

HMM. THAT'S WEIRD.

HELLO?

ANYBODY THERE?

HELLO?

OH!

[GRUNTS]

MY GLASSES!

- [ROARS]

- AAH!

- [ROARING]

- [GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

WHOA! OH!

- [BOTH GRUNT]

- AAH!

- [GROWLS]

- NO. STAY AWAY!

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TRANSFERRED

MY DEAD WIFE'S BRAIN

INTO AN EARTHWORM!

- KISS ME, DARLING.

MMM.

- NO! NO!

NOTICE MY ACTING TECHNIQUE HERE.

I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH HER,

YET REPULSED.

- [CHEWING AND GRUNTING]

- HEY, VELMA, MOVE.

- VELMA, YOU ALL RIGHT?

- POOR GIRL LOOKS LIKE

SHE'S SEEN A GHOST.

- TRY MUMMY.

- MUMMY?

- I THINK I KNOW WHY DOOGLE

AND MR. LeFRANC RAN AWAY.

- MY DEAR WOMAN,

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME

- THIS PRODUCTION WAS PLAGUED - BY A MUMMY?

- I DIDN'T KNOW

WERE TELLING THE TRUTH!

MR. LeFRANC AND DOOGLE

- I THOUGHT - THEY WERE MAKING IT ALL UP

- TO GET OUT - OF THE PRODUCTION

- BECAUSE I WASN'T - PAYING THEM ENOUGH.

- WAIT.

YOU WERE PAYING THEM?

WELL, I AM DONE

WITH THIS CHARADE.

- BUT WE'RE ALREADY SOLD OUT!

- WE'RE HAVING CHURROS - SHIPPED IN SPECIAL.

- THE NEWSPAPER'S - EVEN SENDING OVER

THEIR BEST CRITIC

VALDESH HELGENJEW.

- HELGENJEW?

OH, NO. NOT HIM!

- LIKE, WHO'S HELGENJEW?

- THE NORWEGIAN ME.

WE USED TO GO UP

FOR THE SAME PARTS.

HE HATES ME BECAUSE

I ALWAYS GOT THE ROLES OVER HIM.

OH, HE'LL SAVAGE ME!

HE'LL TEAR ME APART!

- NO, HE WON'T.

YOU'RE VINCENT VAN GHOUL!

- YOU CAN DO THIS!

- BUT... THE MUMMY...

- DON'T WORRY, - MR. VAN GHOUL.

- MYSTERY, INCORPORATED IS - ON THE CASE.

- IF THERE IS A MUMMY FRIAR,

WE'LL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT.

- YOU MEAN IT?

- OH, IT'S ON.

- THAT MUST BE THE CASE - THAT USED TO HOLD

- FRIAR SERRA'S - MUMMIFIED BODY.

- BUT WHERE DID IT GO?

- I WONDER WHAT THIS IS.

[SNIFFS]

- EWW.

- APPEARS ORGANIC.

- IT'S OVER HERE, TOO.

IT'S ON ALL OF THESE

BURLINGTON LIBRARY CRATES.

- HEY, DAPH,

SOME OF THIS STUFF

MAYBE YOU COULD USE

TO MAKE A FRIAR SERRA COSTUME

FOR SHAGGY.

- [ROARS] - HYAH!

- [GRUNTS AND GROANS]

- WOW. THAT WAS ANTICLIMACTIC.

- [GROANS]

- DOOGLE McGINNIS?

- YOU'RE THE MUMMY?

- OF COURSE NOT!

- I JUST WANTED TO GET - MY COSTUME BACK.

IT WAS CUSTOM-MADE

BUTTOCKS DYSPLASIA.

TO HIDE MY INHERITED

- WHERE'S MR. LeFRANC?

- WHO KNOWS? - HE'S DISAPPEARED.

- AND WHAT WERE YOU ALL - TALKING ABOUT?

WHY WOULD SHAGGY NEED

A FRIAR SERRA COSTUME?

- SINCE YOU - AND MR. LeFRANC LEFT,

- WE'RE HELPING VINCENT VAN GHOUL - PUT ON THE PLAY WITHOUT YOU.

- SHAGGY ROGERS IS PLAYING

MY ROLE?

I AM THE FINEST ACTOR

IN CRYSTAL COVE!

I CANNOT BE REPLACED!

IF YOU DO THIS PLAY,

YOU'RE DOOMED.

- EVERYBODY, - LISTEN TO ME.

THE CITY, SHE IS, LIKE, UH,

FALLING INTO THE SEA.

COME WITH US

IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.

- UH, I'M A DONKEY?

- BOO!

- BACK TO WORK, AVOCADOS!

- DON'T WORRY.

A PART OF THE CRAFT.

RIDICULE IS ALL

- LIKE, RIGHT NOW,

IN CRAFT SERVICES.

I'M MORE INTERESTED

- WHAT DO YOU SAY, SCOOB? - BREAK TIME?

- YEAH. YUM!

- I'M DOOMED.

- YES, YOU ARE!

[LAUGHS]

- AVOCADOS!

- [MUNCHING]

- YOU FIND ANYTHING?

- JUST A HAM - IN A FRIAR'S COSTUME

- WHO DOESN'T WANT - THE SHOW TO GO ON.

- AH. HMM?

- READ MY MIND, BUDDY.

HOO-HOO!

- IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

- WHY WOULD DOOGLE SABOTAGE - THIS SHOW?

- HUH?

- NOW WHAT?

- YOU MUST NOT EVOKE

THE MEMORY OF NIBIRU!

THE TELLING OF THE STORY

MUST NEVER BE HEARD!

HE WILL FEED ON IT.

NIBIRU WILL GROW STRONGER,

AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE

TO STOP HIM!

- [SCREAMING]

- AAH!

- [ALL GRUNT]

- DANGER! YOU ARE ALL

IN HORRIBLE DANGER!

- [SCREAMS]

- [LAUGHS]

- AAH!

- YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE

TO STOP HIM!

[GROWLS]

[GROANS]

- LIKE, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

- THIS TIME,

I HAVE NO IDEA.

- HEY, REMEMBER DOOGLE McGINNIS - DID SAY WE WERE DOOMED

- IF WE TRIED - TO DO THE PLAY.

- NO. IT'S THAT CRITIC

VALDESH HELGENJEW.

- HE'S OUT TO RUIN ME - ONCE AND FOR ALL.

- WHAT ABOUT MR. LeFRANC?

NOBODY'S SEEN HIM

SINCE THE INITIAL ATTACK.

- ONE THING'S FOR SURE...

- IF WE'RE GOING TO GET - TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS,

THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

- HUH? [WHIMPERING]

- [BRAYING]

- [BOTH BRAYING]

- [GROANS]

- HMM. THERE HE IS,

HELGENJEW.

OH, I'M SO NERVOUS,

I THINK I'M GOING TO TINKLE.

- NO TIME.

YOU GUYS ARE ON IN 5 MINUTES.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

- NOW, THE HOUR HAS COME TO BE.

THE EARTH AND OCEAN

DON'T AGREE.

THE FAULT HAS SPLIT.

HERE COMES THE FLOOD

TO DESTRUCTIFY

Y'ALL'S NEIGHBORHO'D.

NO TIME TO RUN.

THERE'S ONLY PANIC

WHILE THE MISSION FALLS

INTO THE ATLANTIC.

- IT'S THE PACIFIC,

YOU HACK!

- [LAUGHTER]

- UM, UH, UMMM...

[LAUGHTER]

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

- ♪ SO, LIKE, WE'RE SINKING ♪

- ♪ INTO THE SEA ♪

♪ BECAUSE I'M PORTO,

A SUPER DONKEY! ♪

- ♪ THE EARTHQUAKE'S - LIKE A SIEVE ♪

♪ SO COME WITH ME

IF YOU WANT TO LIVE ♪

- UH...

- ♪ LIKE, THE ONLY ONES TO SAVE

YOU ARE MY DONKEY AND ME ♪

[CLICKS]

[BUZZING]

- [ALL GASP]

[CROWD MURMURS]

- [GROWLS]

I WARNED YOU

NOT TO TELL MY STORY.

[GROWLING]

[HISSES]

- [ALL GASP]

- [GROWLING] - [SCREAMING]

LOOK OUT!

- AAH!

[WHIMPERS AND LAUGHS]

- [GROWLING]

- [GRUNTS]

- [PANTING] OH!

- AAH! TAKE THAT! - HEY!

- [GROWLING]

- [SCREAMING]

- [BOTH GASP]

- WHOA! OH!

- [CROWD GASPS] - OH!

- [SNARLING]

- [CROWD GASPS

[AND MURMURS]

- [PANTING]

- CHURRO!

- [CHOKING]

- NOW! - [GRUNTS]

- [GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

- NOW, LET'S SEE

WHO THIS GHOSTLY MONK REALLY IS.

- GEORGE AVOCADOS?

- THAT'S AVAC...

AH. OH, FORGET IT.

THAT'S RIGHT,

IT IS ME.

- YES! FINALLY!

THE VILLAIN EVENTUALLY.

I KNEW YOU'D BE

- ALL RIGHT, YOU GOT ME.

AND I SUPPOSE YOU'RE WONDERING,

AFTER SO MANY PRIOR MISDIRECTS,

WHY NOW.

- ACTUALLY, NO. - NOT REALLY.

- WE KIND OF ALWAYS KNEW - YOU WERE EVIL.

- HMMPH! OK, FINE.

NOT SURPRISE.

THEN MY TALE SHOULD

IT ALL BEGAN

AFTER I FAILED IN POLITICS.

I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO GO

INTO THE FAMILY BUSINESS...

FARMING AVOCADOS.

EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL

UNTIL YOU MYSTERY BRATS

BLEW UP MY CROPS.

I THEN TRIED MY HAND

AT FORTUNE TELLING.

BUT WHEN THAT ENDEAVOR FAILED...

I FELL BACK ON

THE AVACADOS LEGACY

OF STEALING

OTHER PEOPLE'S THINGS.

I LOCATED THE AVACADOS DIAMOND,

STOLEN BY MY FATHER.

TURNS OUT, IT ACTUALLY WAS

DISGUISED AS A DOOR KNOB...

- NOT ON A DOOR - IN CRYSTAL COVE,

- BUT ON A DOOR AT - THE BURLINGTON LIBRARY.

- WHEN I FOUND OUT - IT WAS AMONG THE ARTIFACTS

SENT HERE

FOR THE PRODUCTION.

I TOOK A JOB AS A JANITOR.

- I NEEDED EVERYONE TO STAY CLEAR - OF THE BASEMENT

- TO GIVE ME - TIME TO LOOK.

I HID THE BODY OF FRIAR SERRA

IN A CLOSET

AND ASSUMED HIS IDENTITY.

- KNOWING THIS TOWN'S - GULLIBILITY,

I KNEW A GHOST STORY

WOULD GIVE ME ROOM TO HUNT.

AND I WOULD HAVE SUCCEEDED, TOO,

IF IT WEREN'T FOR

VINCENT VAN GHOUL.

- MOI?

- SO THE BROWN RESIDUE

THAT WAS LEFT BEHIND...

- THAT'S RIGHT.

GUACAMOLE!

NOW, I WANT MY DIAMOND!

- LET ME SEE SOMETHING.

- THIS CRYSTAL IS - THE DIAMOND!

- BUT, LIKE, HOLD ON. - IF YOU WERE THE FRIAR,

- HOW DID YOU APPEAR - AT THE REHEARSALS?

- I DIDN'T.

I ASSUMED THAT WAS

YOU MEDDLING KIDS

INTO REVEALING MYSELF.

TRYING TO TRICK ME

- HUH?

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

- OH! HERE COMES HELGENJEW.

I'M RUINED!

[WHIMPERS]

[GROANS]

- THAT WAS - THE SINGLE GREATEST PIECE

OF ABSURDIST META THEATER

THAT I HAVE EVER WITNESSED.

- OH!

- OH, THANK YOU, SIR.

YOU KNOW,

IT CAME TO ME IN A FLASH,

- AN INSPIRATION, - TOUCHED BY THE MUSE...

[CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]

- WELL, GANG, I THINK

WE CAN PUT THIS MYSTERY TO BED.

- [LAUGHS] - LIKE, YEAH.

- AND I CAN'T WAIT TO GET - ALL THIS STUFF PUT AWAY

SO WE CAN GO CELEBRATE...

- AT THE CLAM CABIN!

- WHAT THE WHAT?

- THAT'S WEIRD.

HOW'D HE GET BACK IN THERE?

- HOO-HOO! NO, NO.

AROUND TO FIND OUT.

LIKE, LET'S NOT WAIT

[CLICKS]

- HUH?

- YOU ARE STILL IN DANGER.

THE STORY OF CRYSTAL COVE IS

A LIE.

THE DONKEY NEVER TRIED

TO HELP SAVE THE TOWN,

BUT TO DESTROY IT.

THERE WERE 4 OF US AND PORTO

IN THE FRATERNITAS MYSTERIUM,

A GROUP OF

MYSTERY-SOLVING FRIARS.

WE ENCOUNTERED

A CONQUISTADOR.

HE TOLD US

A TALE OF GREAT EVIL

BEFORE HIS MADNESS GOT

THE BEST OF HIM.

- AND HE VANISHED - IN THE NIGHT.

HE LEFT BEHIND

TWO ODDLY-MARKED DISC PIECES.

WE QUICKLY BECAME OBSESSED

WITH THE PIECES.

WE REALIZED THAT THERE WAS

AN EVIL AT WORK.

WE ATTEMPTED

TO DESTROY THE PIECES

- TO RID US, - AND THE TOWN, OF EVIL.

- BUT THE EVIL - WOULD NOT ALLOW US.

[THUNDER]

THE EVIL MANIPULATED PORTO.

PORTO SET OUT

TO DESTROY THE TOWN.

WE CHASED PORTO TO

SWAMPS OUTSIDE OF TOWN.

THE ALLIGATOR-INFESTED

PORTO WAS DRAGGED AWAY

BY THE ALLIGATORS,

BUT NOT BEFORE

THE ONE PIECE HE TOOK.

I WAS ABLE TO RETRIEVE

THE OTHER PIECE,

THANKFULLY,

- WAS LOST AT - THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN

WHEN CRYSTAL COVE SANK

INTO THE SEA.

IT WAS UP TO ME, NOW,

TO HIDE THE LAST PIECE.

BEWARE.

NIBIRU IS COMING.

- THIS HAS - ALL HAPPENED BEFORE.

IT BEGINS

WITH THE ANIMAL,

ALWAYS THE ANIMAL.

HEED THE WARNING

OF THE ALLIGATORS.

THE DOG DIES.

- [GULPS] - THE DOG DIES?

IS HE TALKING ABOUT ME?