Original subtitles

(male narrator) Previously on "Mystery Incorporated.."

My real name isn't Angel Dynamite.

It's Cassidy Williams.

You've been lying to us from the beginning.

Why should we listen to anything you have to say to us now?

Oh, Baylor, you're everything I never knew I wanted.

For the first time, I found someone

who cares about me more than their traps.

We're a team, remember?

We're not a team, not without Daphne.

We need a new Daphne, and I have just the girl.

(together) Hot Dog Water?

The higher carbon content reduces weldability

but makes up for it in the amazing tensile strength.

Uh, um, Fred, if I may

I have about, oh, let's see

42 pages on traps here in my notes

and that's just from this session.

Let's do a little word disassociation therapy.

I'm going to say a word, you tell me its opposite.

- Ready? Traps. - Daphne.

- Traps, traps. - Daphne, Daphne.

- Traps, traps, traps. - Daphne, Daphne, Daphne!

Daphne!

I'm sensing you want to talk about Daphne.

I want her back, doc, but she hates me.

I guess I can't blame her for hating me.

I was never attentive or romantic enough

whatever that means.

[beep beep beep]

Oh, look at that. Session's over. Pity.

What do I do about Daphne?

Sorry, Fred, but your healthcare plan

does not allow me to speak after the buzzer.

Huh. Ha?

[laughing]

[gasps]

Uh! Oh! What are you?

Dr. Henklefust, I'm so sad.

Can you help me?

I'd like to try a little aggression therapy.

And it goes like this.

[groaning]

[laughing]

I have to prove myself to Daphne

and I know exactly how!

Doc, I think I've had a breakthrough!

Dr. Henklefust?

[theme music]

(Scooby) Scooby-dooby-doo!

[crickets creaking]

[instrumental music]

[click]

[water sloshing]

[groaning]

[gasps]

- Fred? - Surprised?

What are you doing?

I did this for you!

It's what you've always wanted, right?

Romantic, huh?

Fred Jones, you.. It's too late for this.

I'm with a man now, Baylor Hotner.

He and I, we're serious.

I, I moved on

and so should you.

But wa..

[sighs]

[papers rustling]

Like, do you think this one works, Scoob?

Yes! No, not really.

I hate not having hair.

Ugh, grow, grow!

Hmph!

Poor Shaggy.

That's a good boy.

Fred, look. Isn't this your therapist?

Fred?

Frederick, pay attention.

Huh? What?

Isn't Dr. Henklefust your therapist?

What? No. I don't see a therapist.

Why would you say that? Are you saying I should see a therapist?

Because I don't have any problems.

I am completely problem-free.

Well, that therapist you're not seeing, he's gone missing.

What? Oh, yeah.

I think so, gone missing

just like Daphne.

Like, we'll be back soon.

We're gonna go get some real fake hair.

Doesn't anyone care about mystery solving anymore?

I care. You still got me.

All of it. Cut if all off.

Don't give me that look, Gorgeous G.

I mean it. It's so gone.

But, baby doll, you can't cut it off. It's beautiful!

No, I'm beautiful.

Hair is just hair.

Watch who you're talking to, girl. I'm a hairdresser.

Amen to that, Gorgeous G., best in Crystal Cove.

Now, please.

[whirring]

[whirring]

Nice.

Like my mama always said.

"Hotness is as hotness does."

Well, then, go check out all that hotness

in the bathroom mirror.

It's three-sided.

[gasps]

They're coming back for Fred.

Why? Why come back now?

I don't know

but it would be the perfect time

to get close to the kids again, Angel.

I'm not Angel Dynamite, Ricky, I'm Cassidy Williams.

And I won't do it. I won't hurt those kids again.

They're good kids

better than we were.

Ah, yes, the naive Cassidy

I once fell in love with.

You willing to bet the lives of everyone

in Crystal Cove on that?

Oh, what is taking that girl so long?

She loves herself just a little too much if you ask me.

[screech]

[screaming]

[screech]

[thud]

What was that? Gorgeous G?

[grunts] Gorgeous G!

Ah! Oh, no!

I simply can't do a thing with my hair!

[sobbing] I am so sad..

Please, make me beautiful

like a flower.

Please..

And they have red hair and brown hair

and black hair and yellow hair and

I just want shaggy hair.

I'm sure they have shaggy hair, Shaggy.

Shaggy hair for sale.

[vroom]

[laughs]

- Like, zoinks. - Crybaby Clown?

[panting]

[Crybaby Clown laughing]

[cameras clicking]

(Shaggy) Like, what's with all the paparazzi?

It's the city's new publicist, J.R. Kipple.

Mayor Nettles hired him a few weeks ago.

Get pictures of all the destruction.

See if you can get this teddy bear in the picture.

It'll add a little something, something to the news story.

Make it go viral.

Mr. Kipple, I'm not so sure this is a good idea.

- I don't want to cause a panic. - You crazy?

Panic is great publicity

a feeding frenzy, a fear fest.

That's why the news exist.

With these abductions by the Crybaby Clown

we'll put Crystal Cove back on the map

as a great scary place to vacation.

I don't like my citizens being abducted

by evil, clown-man babies.

I want this mystery solved.

[click click click]

[click click click]

Looking good, pal.

Scooby-dooby-doo!

[laughs]

(Velma) Check this out.

I think we just found our first clue.

Um, looks like some kind of cathode.

Or part of a transponder chip.

Hi, gang.

[all gasping]

Awkward.

Look, I just wanna say

I know you're mad at me and I don't blame you

but if I can help in...

No way, Angel Cassidy Dynamite Williams

wh-wh-whatever your name is.

There's an old saying in Crystal Cove.

"Fool me once, shame on

shame on you?"

Uh..

A fooled man can't get fooled again!

Yeah. Fool me

what he said.

Alright.

I, um, I understand.

Y'all be safe.

Don't tell me what to do!

[instrumental music]

[gasps]

Daphne, this one really sells

the whole quaint, small-town, innocent girl.

They're going to love you.

Do you really think so, Baylor?

Babe, you're going to be a hit.

I don't think that works at all.

It's stupid!

Now, try this on, Daphne.

Or how about this one?

- You need a really big apron. - Fred..

You know what a messy eater you are.

You can use this like a bib

and a, and dribble all over yourself

like you normally do and nobody will know!

[laughs] It's, well, great.

Well, if you're looking for something new, Daph

try this.

It comes in periwinkle, lavender, orchid, heliotrope

mulberry, magenta, violet and indigo.

Yeah, I think we should get 'em all.

Oh, Baylor, you know exactly what a girl wants.

[vroom]

Norville, I really appreciate you driving me

to the plastic surgeon's office.

I didn't wanna come alone, but I want you to know

I'm only picking up a pamphlet.

Just because all your friends are doing it

doesn't mean you have to, Mrs. Rogers.

Uh, what did the dog say?

Like, um, he said you're perfect and beautiful

just the way you are, mom.

Oh, how naive. I mean, how sweet.

[gasping]

(Shaggy) Like, man, someone really did a number

on this plastic surgeon's office.

(Scooby) What a waste of perfectly good ice cream.

[sobbing] He took him!

He took the doctor!

- Who did? - Clown!

Evil, clown baby-man.

- Yikes! - Ooh!

Yike.

Norville, you're not very brave for a general.

Like, mom, I'm undercover, remember?

Hot Dog Water and I analyzed

the chip we found. It's a transmitter.

So we rigged this transistor radio to pick up the signal.

[beep beep]

Which should lead us right to Crybaby Clown!

I can net him and give him to Daphne as a present

to show her how much I care!

Come on, gang, let's go bag Crybaby Clown!

[vroom]

Turn right down that alley.

[screech]

There.

[screech]

[groans]

[boom]

[whirring]

Time to wrap up this mystery.

Fred Jones, you are the most incompetent

idiotic, micro-brained guy named Fred

in the history of guys named Fred!

I.. B-but, Daphne..

- What just happened? - I don't get it.

She's emitting the signal.

[beep beep beep]

Daphne, you have a transmitter

just under the skin on your ankle!

What? I've been tagged with a tracking device?

Man, I wish I'd have thought of that.

[vroom vroom]

[gasps] Uh-oh.

[laughing]

[all screaming]

[screech]

[clank]

[laughing]

[screaming]

[click click click]

Stop taking pictures of those nitwits.

They're not news.

I hope you got some great snaps

of that crazy man, baby clown.

He's so perfect!

Funny how the city's publicist J.R. Kipple

shows up a few minutes after Crybaby Clown disappears.

I'm not laughing.

Yeah. Like, me, neither, Scoob.

I see what Velma's getting at.

Mr. Kipple, I notice you got here really quickly.

And lucky you had your photographers in place

to take pictures.

Luck has nothing to do with it

shirtless boy.

A good publicist makes the news happen.

Oh, Daphne, I was so worried.

I've been looking all over for you.

Oh, doodle, you bad kitty.

How did you find me?

I am so in love with you

that I was drawn to your side.

Yeah, well, I was drawn to her so much

that I shot her with my net gun

then tackled her really hard.

You know, school chum, you might wanna do

a little work on that six-pack.

Me and the boys from Dusk have a great ab workout.

I'll send it over.

Did you tell them, my little strawberry cheesecake?

No? Alright.

Well, Daphne and I are leaving for Hollywood

tonight, together.

[chuckles] I'm gonna make her a star.

Daph..

[thud]

[instrumental music]

(Kipple) I want more coverage!

What do I pay you news editors under the table for

if you don't run the stories I tell you to run?

Like, that guy's gotta be Crybaby Clown!

He's an evil man-baby if I ever saw one!

Jinkies, look!

Mr. Kipple!

Like, behind you!

You nimrods get away from my window.

[screaming]

[boom]

This is out of control. We've got to stop that clown.

Get Fred.

(Shaggy) Like, why would Crybaby Clown steal a therapist

a hairdresser, a plastic surgeon

and now a publicist?

Hot Dog Water and I have exhausted the computer archives

searching for any common thread linking the four individuals.

We've come up with nothing.

Nada, the big zero.

The four didn't even know each other.

There's no connection!

We're just spinning our wheels.

Daphne, don't go!

Wheels!

Different spokes on a wheel

all meet at one hub, right?

Gang, I think I've solved this mystery!

And you know what that means?

- We order takeout? - Chinese?

Huh, I love Chinese.

No. It means it's trapping time!

(woman on PA) The green zone's for unloading of corpses only.

[vroom]

[screech]

[indistinct chattering]

[muffled groaning]

[groaning]

[all groaning]

(Crybaby) You know what makes me sad?

All these empty seats.

[laughs] Oh, I wish I had enough friends

to fill this entire plane..

[bawling]

But I have you.

And I'm taking you all back

to my special clown town.

Hm? Hm?

Buckle up!

It's gonna be a very bumpy ride!

[gasps]

Welcome aboard Air Shag And Scoob.

Please enjoy your flight.

Get off my plane!

Zoinks! Look out, Scoob!

[screaming]

[vroom]

[all screaming]

[crash]

[all screaming]

Is it supposed to do that?

No. We'll have to improvise.

[vroom vroom]

[thud]

[screaming]

- Yikes! - Ha-ha ha!

Huh? Huh?

Don't make me cry!

You wouldn't like me when I'm crying.

Like, dude, huh, we don't like you now.

[Crybaby grunting]

I'm the only one professionally trained

as a pilot and barnstormer

so you two are on ground control.

[dramatic music]

- Velma, take the wheel. - Huh?

[grunts]

Hm?

[panting]

[clank]

[vroom]

[screech]

[thunder rumbling]

Now, where, oh, where

did my in-flight entertainment go?

[bawling]

[door shuts]

[Scooby speaking in Spanish]

(Scooby) Ocupado.

(Shaggy) Nobody's in here.

Heh-heh. Like, I guess when you gotta go, you really gotta go.

[thunder rumbling]

Aah!

[beeping]

[grunts]

[dramatic music]

[sighs]

[Crybaby grunting]

Fred, he's got Daphne back here!

Daphne? No!

[groans]

[Shaggy screaming]

- Whoa! - A-ah!

[grunts]

[groaning]

[thunder rumbling]

[intense music]

[thunder rumbling]

And now let's see who Crybaby Clown really is.

(all) Baylor Hotner?

That's right-ner.

Actor, humanitarian

guy with amazingly super-awesome abs.

I came here to Crystal Cove

to research the part of a crazed clown

for my upcoming blockbuster movie.

"The Night The Clown Cried."

It was gonna be

my Oscar.

(Baylor) Using my knowledge of Hollywood makeup and effects

and a trick buggy I stole from the back lot

I honed my crazed clown performance to perfection.

Then I built my entourage

a therapist, a hairdresser

a plastic surgeon and a publicist

everything I needed to be a great actor!

Of course, I put tracking chips in all of them

because you have to know where your posse is at all times.

I even had an innocent, small-town girl

that would make me look like the nicest guy.

I had it all!

And I would've been the world's greatest

Hollywood thespian, too

if it hadn't have been for you

small-town scene stealers. Uh!

Small-town that, Baylor Hotner!

These are my friends. Take him away, sheriff.

[vroom]

Thanks, guys. You, uh, really saved me.

Like, you're one of us.

Um, you know, Daphne, you could come back to me

to-to the gang, I mean.

Really?

I-I'd like that very much.

Hooray! Daphne's back.

Group hug.

Scooby-dooby-doo!

And Daphne, too.

[laughs]

[theme music]