All language subtitles for SNL S03E03 Hugh Hefner.DVDRip.HI.RLP.cc.en.UNVSL

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:05,015 HI! UH... OUR UNABASHED DICTIONARY DEFINES 2 00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:06,649 UH... OUR UNABASHED DICTIONARY DEFINES "BEATING AROUND THE BUSH" AS, 3 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,251 OUR UNABASHED DICTIONARY DEFINES "BEATING AROUND THE BUSH" AS, LIKE, THERE'S THIS CIRCLE OF 4 00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,919 "BEATING AROUND THE BUSH" AS, LIKE, THERE'S THIS CIRCLE OF PERCUSSIONISTS, AND, LIKE, 5 00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,721 LIKE, THERE'S THIS CIRCLE OF PERCUSSIONISTS, AND, LIKE, THEY'RE SITTING AROUND, LIKE, 6 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,224 PERCUSSIONISTS, AND, LIKE, THEY'RE SITTING AROUND, LIKE, THIS SHRUB PLAYING DRUMS. 7 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,425 THEY'RE SITTING AROUND, LIKE, THIS SHRUB PLAYING DRUMS. AND, UH... 8 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,227 THIS SHRUB PLAYING DRUMS. AND, UH... IT'S REALLY LIKE THAT, ONLY IT'S 9 00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:18,996 AND, UH... IT'S REALLY LIKE THAT, ONLY IT'S FUNNIER. 10 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,563 IT'S REALLY LIKE THAT, ONLY IT'S FUNNIER. OH, I KNOW! 11 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,432 FUNNIER. OH, I KNOW! "THERE WAS AN OLD MAN NAMED DAVE 12 00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,034 OH, I KNOW! "THERE WAS AN OLD MAN NAMED DAVE FROM NANTUCKET." 13 00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,436 "THERE WAS AN OLD MAN NAMED DAVE FROM NANTUCKET." NO, WAIT. 14 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,471 FROM NANTUCKET." NO, WAIT. FORGET IT! FORGET IT! 15 00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:28,905 NO, WAIT. FORGET IT! FORGET IT! OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 16 00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:29,939 FORGET IT! FORGET IT! OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. UM... 17 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,541 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. UM... "A RAUCOUS OLD SAILOR NAMED 18 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,676 UM... "A RAUCOUS OLD SAILOR NAMED RICK GREW SO FOND OF FLICKING 19 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,811 "A RAUCOUS OLD SAILOR NAMED RICK GREW SO FOND OF FLICKING HIS BIC. 20 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,413 RICK GREW SO FOND OF FLICKING HIS BIC. HE SAID TO HIS DATE, AS HE 21 00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,281 HIS BIC. HE SAID TO HIS DATE, AS HE GUESSED AT HER WEIGHT, 'IF YOUR 22 00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:40,117 HE SAID TO HIS DATE, AS HE GUESSED AT HER WEIGHT, 'IF YOUR NOSE WAS A PLUM, I WOULD PLUCK 23 00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:40,583 GUESSED AT HER WEIGHT, 'IF YOUR NOSE WAS A PLUM, I WOULD PLUCK IT!'" 24 00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:42,619 NOSE WAS A PLUM, I WOULD PLUCK IT!'" [GIGGLES] 25 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:43,253 IT!'" [GIGGLES] OH. 26 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,888 [GIGGLES] OH. OH, I JUST REMEMBERED THIS 27 00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:45,822 OH. OH, I JUST REMEMBERED THIS PUNCH LINE! 28 00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,424 OH, I JUST REMEMBERED THIS PUNCH LINE! UH, WHEN THEY SHOVE ME IN A DARK 29 00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:48,892 PUNCH LINE! UH, WHEN THEY SHOVE ME IN A DARK CAVE AND MAKE ME DO PUSH-UPS 30 00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:49,826 UH, WHEN THEY SHOVE ME IN A DARK CAVE AND MAKE ME DO PUSH-UPS TILL I THROW UP!" 31 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,561 CAVE AND MAKE ME DO PUSH-UPS TILL I THROW UP!" [GIGGLES] 32 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,096 TILL I THROW UP!" [GIGGLES] OH, GOSH. 33 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,198 [GIGGLES] OH, GOSH. WELL, THAT'S ALL THE JOKES I 34 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:56,933 OH, GOSH. WELL, THAT'S ALL THE JOKES I REMEMBER... 35 00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:59,369 WELL, THAT'S ALL THE JOKES I REMEMBER... EXCEPT LIVE FROM NEW YORK, 36 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,038 REMEMBER... EXCEPT LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! 37 00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:03,462 EXCEPT LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! [BAND PLAYS] 38 00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:09,068 Announcer: IT'S 39 00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:12,637 "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"! 40 00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:14,573 STARRING... 41 00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:24,516 WITH SPECIAL GUEST... 42 00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:19,438 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 43 00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:21,273 HUGH HEFNER! 44 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:23,208 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 45 00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:48,845 THANK YOU, THANK YOU. WELL, WHEN LORNE MICHAELS FIRST ASKED ME TO HOST 46 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,580 WELL, WHEN LORNE MICHAELS FIRST ASKED ME TO HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," I WASN'T, 47 00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,081 ASKED ME TO HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," I WASN'T, QUITE FRANKLY, SURE I COULD 48 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,017 "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," I WASN'T, QUITE FRANKLY, SURE I COULD HANDLE IT, BECAUSE I AM, AFTER 49 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,085 QUITE FRANKLY, SURE I COULD HANDLE IT, BECAUSE I AM, AFTER ALL, A MAGAZINE PUBLISHER, NOT A 50 00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,987 HANDLE IT, BECAUSE I AM, AFTER ALL, A MAGAZINE PUBLISHER, NOT A PERFORMER, AND, ANYONE WHO EVER 51 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,256 ALL, A MAGAZINE PUBLISHER, NOT A PERFORMER, AND, ANYONE WHO EVER SAW MY OWN TV SHOW, 52 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,224 PERFORMER, AND, ANYONE WHO EVER SAW MY OWN TV SHOW, "PLAYBOY AFTER DARK," CAN ATTEST 53 00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,626 SAW MY OWN TV SHOW, "PLAYBOY AFTER DARK," CAN ATTEST TO THAT. 54 00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:03,893 "PLAYBOY AFTER DARK," CAN ATTEST TO THAT. BUT I HAVE A COUPLE OF FRIENDS 55 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,228 TO THAT. BUT I HAVE A COUPLE OF FRIENDS WHO THINK I'M ALMOST AS FUNNY AS 56 00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,531 BUT I HAVE A COUPLE OF FRIENDS WHO THINK I'M ALMOST AS FUNNY AS RALPH NADER, SO I FIGURED, "WHAT 57 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,132 WHO THINK I'M ALMOST AS FUNNY AS RALPH NADER, SO I FIGURED, "WHAT THE HELL?" 58 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,900 RALPH NADER, SO I FIGURED, "WHAT THE HELL?" SINCE MALE FASHIONS ARE A VERY 59 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,802 THE HELL?" SINCE MALE FASHIONS ARE A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF PLAYBOY, I WAS 60 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,638 SINCE MALE FASHIONS ARE A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF PLAYBOY, I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT TO WEAR ON 61 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,939 IMPORTANT PART OF PLAYBOY, I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT TO WEAR ON THIS OPENING MONOLOGUE. 62 00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:18,141 CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT TO WEAR ON THIS OPENING MONOLOGUE. LORNE WAS VERY HELPFUL. 63 00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,576 THIS OPENING MONOLOGUE. LORNE WAS VERY HELPFUL. HE TOLD ME TO WEAR WHATEVER I 64 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,145 LORNE WAS VERY HELPFUL. HE TOLD ME TO WEAR WHATEVER I FELT COMFORTABLE IN. 65 00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:23,213 HE TOLD ME TO WEAR WHATEVER I FELT COMFORTABLE IN. HE SAID, "JUST WEAR WHAT YOU 66 00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:24,381 FELT COMFORTABLE IN. HE SAID, "JUST WEAR WHAT YOU WEAR WHEN YOU'RE HOSTING A PARTY 67 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,882 HE SAID, "JUST WEAR WHAT YOU WEAR WHEN YOU'RE HOSTING A PARTY AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION." 68 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:29,986 WEAR WHEN YOU'RE HOSTING A PARTY AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION." WELL, THIS IS IT. 69 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,121 AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION." WELL, THIS IS IT. I STARTED PLAYBOY BACK IN THE 70 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,391 WELL, THIS IS IT. I STARTED PLAYBOY BACK IN THE '50s FROM AN INITIAL INVESTMENT 71 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:35,692 I STARTED PLAYBOY BACK IN THE '50s FROM AN INITIAL INVESTMENT OF SOME $600. 72 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,694 '50s FROM AN INITIAL INVESTMENT OF SOME $600. I BUILT AN EMPIRE WORTH ALMOST 73 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,229 OF SOME $600. I BUILT AN EMPIRE WORTH ALMOST $200 MILLION. 74 00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:41,364 I BUILT AN EMPIRE WORTH ALMOST $200 MILLION. BUT I DIDN'T DO IT ALONE. 75 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,666 $200 MILLION. BUT I DIDN'T DO IT ALONE. IT TOOK A LOT OF DEDICATION AND 76 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:43,733 BUT I DIDN'T DO IT ALONE. IT TOOK A LOT OF DEDICATION AND HARD WORK FROM SOME VERY 77 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,902 IT TOOK A LOT OF DEDICATION AND HARD WORK FROM SOME VERY TALENTED PEOPLE. 78 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,572 HARD WORK FROM SOME VERY TALENTED PEOPLE. AND IT TOOK SOMETHING MORE... A 79 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:52,075 TALENTED PEOPLE. AND IT TOOK SOMETHING MORE... A KIND OF FAITH, A BELIEF IN... 80 00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,311 AND IT TOOK SOMETHING MORE... A KIND OF FAITH, A BELIEF IN... SOMETHING GREATER THAN ONESELF, 81 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,679 KIND OF FAITH, A BELIEF IN... SOMETHING GREATER THAN ONESELF, AND THAT'S WHY... 82 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:57,013 SOMETHING GREATER THAN ONESELF, AND THAT'S WHY... [PIANO PLAYS] 83 00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,115 AND THAT'S WHY... [PIANO PLAYS] [LAUGHTER] 84 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:03,720 [PIANO PLAYS] [LAUGHTER] EACH TIME I SEE A LITTLE GIRL 85 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:07,524 [LAUGHTER] EACH TIME I SEE A LITTLE GIRL OF 5 OR 6 OR 7... 86 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:10,660 EACH TIME I SEE A LITTLE GIRL OF 5 OR 6 OR 7... I CAN'T RESIST THE JOYOUS URGE 87 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,830 OF 5 OR 6 OR 7... I CAN'T RESIST THE JOYOUS URGE TO SMILE AND SAY... 88 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,232 I CAN'T RESIST THE JOYOUS URGE TO SMILE AND SAY... [INTRO TO "THANK HEAVEN TO 89 00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:20,103 TO SMILE AND SAY... [INTRO TO "THANK HEAVEN TO LITTLE GIRLS" PLAYS] 90 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,672 [INTRO TO "THANK HEAVEN TO LITTLE GIRLS" PLAYS] ♪ THANK HEAVEN 91 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:27,198 [LITTLE GIRLS" PLAYS] ♪ THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS ♪ 92 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,768 ♪ FOR LITTLE GIRLS GET 93 00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:34,139 BIGGER EVERY DAY ♪ 94 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,941 ♪ THANK HEAVEN 95 00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:41,146 FOR LITTLE GIRLS ♪ 96 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,316 ♪ THEY GROW UP IN THE MOST 97 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:48,287 DELIGHTFUL WAY ♪ 98 00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:51,456 ♪ THOSE LITTLE EYES SO HELPLESS 99 00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,992 AND APPEALING ♪ 100 00:04:54,126 --> 00:04:56,561 ♪ ONE DAY WILL FLASH AND SEND 101 00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,730 YOU CRASHIN' THROUGH THE 102 00:04:58,864 --> 00:05:01,866 CEILING ♪ 103 00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:04,536 ♪ THANK HEAVEN 104 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:08,473 FOR LITTLE GIRLS ♪ 105 00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:11,443 ♪ THANK HEAVEN FOR THEM ALL, 106 00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:15,747 NO MATTER WHERE, NO MATTER WHO ♪ 107 00:05:15,881 --> 00:05:17,683 ♪ WITHOUT THEM, WHAT WOULD 108 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:22,421 LITTLE BOYS DO? ♪ 109 00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:30,689 ♪ THANK HEAVEN ♪ ♪ THANK HEAVEN ♪ ♪ THANK HEAVEN 110 00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:38,837 ♪ THANK HEAVEN ♪ ♪ THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS ♪ 111 00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:47,045 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 112 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:59,035 HI. I'M BEAUTIFUL BUT STUPID. AND I FOUND THE SOAP THAT HELPS 113 00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:01,204 I'M BEAUTIFUL BUT STUPID. AND I FOUND THE SOAP THAT HELPS ME STAY THAT WAY. 114 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,807 AND I FOUND THE SOAP THAT HELPS ME STAY THAT WAY. MY HUSBAND SAYS I LOOK NATURAL 115 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,709 ME STAY THAT WAY. MY HUSBAND SAYS I LOOK NATURAL AND UNSPOILED, AND HE LOVES THE 116 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,577 MY HUSBAND SAYS I LOOK NATURAL AND UNSPOILED, AND HE LOVES THE WAY I NEVER BOTHER HIM WITH MY 117 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,813 AND UNSPOILED, AND HE LOVES THE WAY I NEVER BOTHER HIM WITH MY OPINIONS. 118 00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,948 WAY I NEVER BOTHER HIM WITH MY OPINIONS. LET'S FACE IT... GOOD LOOKS AND 119 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,817 OPINIONS. LET'S FACE IT... GOOD LOOKS AND COMPLEX HUMAN EMOTIONS JUST 120 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,218 LET'S FACE IT... GOOD LOOKS AND COMPLEX HUMAN EMOTIONS JUST DON'T MIX. 121 00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,686 COMPLEX HUMAN EMOTIONS JUST DON'T MIX. I GUESS THAT'S WHY I USE 122 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,655 DON'T MIX. I GUESS THAT'S WHY I USE ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA 123 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,623 I GUESS THAT'S WHY I USE ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA 23. 124 00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,325 ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA 23. ANGORA BOUQUET'S THOUSANDS OF 125 00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,293 23. ANGORA BOUQUET'S THOUSANDS OF TINY TRANQUILIZERS PENETRATE 126 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,730 ANGORA BOUQUET'S THOUSANDS OF TINY TRANQUILIZERS PENETRATE YOUR SKIN TO WASH REALITY AWAY 127 00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:29,165 TINY TRANQUILIZERS PENETRATE YOUR SKIN TO WASH REALITY AWAY AND MAKE YOUR MIND AND SKIN AS 128 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,368 YOUR SKIN TO WASH REALITY AWAY AND MAKE YOUR MIND AND SKIN AS CLEAR AS A BABY'S. 129 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:34,170 AND MAKE YOUR MIND AND SKIN AS CLEAR AS A BABY'S. YOU SEE, ANGORA BOUQUET ACTUALLY 130 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,873 CLEAR AS A BABY'S. YOU SEE, ANGORA BOUQUET ACTUALLY CONTAINS METHAQUALONE, THE SAME 131 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,275 YOU SEE, ANGORA BOUQUET ACTUALLY CONTAINS METHAQUALONE, THE SAME TRANQUILIZING AGENT THAT IS 132 00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,210 CONTAINS METHAQUALONE, THE SAME TRANQUILIZING AGENT THAT IS FOUND IN THOSE LARGE, WHITE 133 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,212 TRANQUILIZING AGENT THAT IS FOUND IN THOSE LARGE, WHITE PILLS I OFTEN COME ACROSS IN 134 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,114 FOUND IN THOSE LARGE, WHITE PILLS I OFTEN COME ACROSS IN BILL JR.'s JEANS POCKETS WHEN I 135 00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,949 PILLS I OFTEN COME ACROSS IN BILL JR.'s JEANS POCKETS WHEN I DO THE LAUNDRY. 136 00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:49,285 BILL JR.'s JEANS POCKETS WHEN I DO THE LAUNDRY. HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU TRY THIS 137 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,087 DO THE LAUNDRY. HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU TRY THIS OTHER SIDE OF THE RAKE HERE? 138 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:52,188 HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU TRY THIS OTHER SIDE OF THE RAKE HERE? GET A LITTLE MORE LEAVES THAT 139 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,724 OTHER SIDE OF THE RAKE HERE? GET A LITTLE MORE LEAVES THAT WAY. 140 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,793 GET A LITTLE MORE LEAVES THAT WAY. I GUESS THAT'S WHY MY SOAP IS 141 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,762 WAY. I GUESS THAT'S WHY MY SOAP IS ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA 142 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,430 I GUESS THAT'S WHY MY SOAP IS ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA 23. 143 00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:03,366 ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA 23. Announcer: ANGORA BOUQUET, 144 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,430 23. Announcer: ANGORA BOUQUET, WITH pH FORMULA 23. 145 00:08:00,312 --> 00:08:03,392 HOW LONG UNTIL WE INTERCEPT THE ENEMY VESSEL, LIEUTENANT TESTOSTERONE? 146 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,594 THE ENEMY VESSEL, LIEUTENANT TESTOSTERONE? TWO MINUTES TILL BATTLE 147 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,663 LIEUTENANT TESTOSTERONE? TWO MINUTES TILL BATTLE STATIONS, CAPTAIN MACHO. 148 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:07,931 TWO MINUTES TILL BATTLE STATIONS, CAPTAIN MACHO. CORPORAL HARDIN, DID THE 149 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,398 STATIONS, CAPTAIN MACHO. CORPORAL HARDIN, DID THE DETECTOSCAN GIVE US ANY FURTHER 150 00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:10,800 CORPORAL HARDIN, DID THE DETECTOSCAN GIVE US ANY FURTHER DATA ON WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE 151 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:11,434 DETECTOSCAN GIVE US ANY FURTHER DATA ON WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE UP AGAINST? 152 00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,702 DATA ON WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE UP AGAINST? DETECTOSCAN AND BIOANALYSIS 153 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:13,937 UP AGAINST? DETECTOSCAN AND BIOANALYSIS INDICATE THE OCCUPANTS OF THE 154 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,137 DETECTOSCAN AND BIOANALYSIS INDICATE THE OCCUPANTS OF THE ENEMY SHIP ARE DIFFERENT BUT 155 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,506 INDICATE THE OCCUPANTS OF THE ENEMY SHIP ARE DIFFERENT BUT BASICALLY EQUAL TO US. 156 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,307 ENEMY SHIP ARE DIFFERENT BUT BASICALLY EQUAL TO US. HOWEVER, CAPTAIN MACHO, OUR SHIP 157 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,776 BASICALLY EQUAL TO US. HOWEVER, CAPTAIN MACHO, OUR SHIP IS PHYSICALLY SUPERIOR TO 158 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:20,276 HOWEVER, CAPTAIN MACHO, OUR SHIP IS PHYSICALLY SUPERIOR TO THEIRS. 159 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,144 IS PHYSICALLY SUPERIOR TO THEIRS. CAPTION MACHO, THE ENEMY SHIP 160 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,847 THEIRS. CAPTION MACHO, THE ENEMY SHIP IS WITHIN FIRING RANGE. 161 00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:25,515 CAPTION MACHO, THE ENEMY SHIP IS WITHIN FIRING RANGE. ALL RIGHT, SET ROCKETS FOR 162 00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:26,683 IS WITHIN FIRING RANGE. ALL RIGHT, SET ROCKETS FOR CRUISING. 163 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,417 ALL RIGHT, SET ROCKETS FOR CRUISING. EVERYBODY STAY COOL. 164 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,761 CRUISING. EVERYBODY STAY COOL. LET THEM MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. 165 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,501 CAPTAIN ESTROGENA, THE ENEMY STARSHIP IS WITHIN ELECTROSCANNING DISTANCE. 166 00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:45,602 STARSHIP IS WITHIN ELECTROSCANNING DISTANCE. WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, 167 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,871 ELECTROSCANNING DISTANCE. WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, LIEUTENANT AREOLA? 168 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:54,777 WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, LIEUTENANT AREOLA? HERE IT IS, CAPTAIN. 169 00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,479 LIEUTENANT AREOLA? HERE IT IS, CAPTAIN. THEIR SHIP IS NOT AS BIG AS WE 170 00:08:56,503 --> 00:09:01,150 HERE IT IS, CAPTAIN. THEIR SHIP IS NOT AS BIG AS WE HAD HOPED. 171 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,585 THEIR SHIP IS NOT AS BIG AS WE HAD HOPED. AND FROM ITS MANEUVERING, IT 172 00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:03,987 HAD HOPED. AND FROM ITS MANEUVERING, IT APPEARS THAT OUR OPPONENTS HAVE 173 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,454 AND FROM ITS MANEUVERING, IT APPEARS THAT OUR OPPONENTS HAVE LITTLE CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN 174 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:06,389 APPEARS THAT OUR OPPONENTS HAVE LITTLE CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN CRAFT. 175 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,090 LITTLE CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN CRAFT. ALL RIGHT, WOMEN, LET'S BREAK 176 00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,826 CRAFT. ALL RIGHT, WOMEN, LET'S BREAK DOWN THEIR DEFENSES AND HIT THEM 177 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,193 ALL RIGHT, WOMEN, LET'S BREAK DOWN THEIR DEFENSES AND HIT THEM AT THEIR WEAKEST POINT. 178 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,129 DOWN THEIR DEFENSES AND HIT THEM AT THEIR WEAKEST POINT. CORPORAL FELLOPIA, ACTIVATE THE 179 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,464 AT THEIR WEAKEST POINT. CORPORAL FELLOPIA, ACTIVATE THE HORN RAY. 180 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:20,670 CORPORAL FELLOPIA, ACTIVATE THE HORN RAY. [BEEPING] 181 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,005 HORN RAY. [BEEPING] MMM-MMM-MMM. 182 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:25,241 [BEEPING] MMM-MMM-MMM. OHH. 183 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:28,444 MMM-MMM-MMM. OHH. MMM-MMM-MMM! 184 00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:29,946 OHH. MMM-MMM-MMM! MMM! 185 00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:33,016 MMM-MMM-MMM! MMM! YOU KNOW, MY FLIGHT SUIT FEELS 186 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,886 MMM! YOU KNOW, MY FLIGHT SUIT FEELS REAL TIGHT. 187 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,755 YOU KNOW, MY FLIGHT SUIT FEELS REAL TIGHT. YEAH, WE'VE BEEN ON THIS SHIP 188 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,222 REAL TIGHT. YEAH, WE'VE BEEN ON THIS SHIP ABOUT TWO YEARS NOW. 189 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:40,924 YEAH, WE'VE BEEN ON THIS SHIP ABOUT TWO YEARS NOW. YEAH. 190 00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:42,525 ABOUT TWO YEARS NOW. YEAH. LISTEN, MEN, WE'RE BEING 191 00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:43,960 YEAH. LISTEN, MEN, WE'RE BEING BOMBARDED BY SOME KIND OF 192 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,062 LISTEN, MEN, WE'RE BEING BOMBARDED BY SOME KIND OF POWERFUL NEW WEAPON, BUT WE MUST 193 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,664 BOMBARDED BY SOME KIND OF POWERFUL NEW WEAPON, BUT WE MUST GAIN CONTROL. 194 00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,999 POWERFUL NEW WEAPON, BUT WE MUST GAIN CONTROL. TRY COUNTING BACKWARDS FROM 100. 195 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:50,833 GAIN CONTROL. TRY COUNTING BACKWARDS FROM 100. MM-HMM. 196 00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:52,969 TRY COUNTING BACKWARDS FROM 100. MM-HMM. OR THINK ABOUT SPORTS. 197 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,003 MM-HMM. OR THINK ABOUT SPORTS. I CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH 198 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:54,671 OR THINK ABOUT SPORTS. I CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH LONGER, CAPTAIN. 199 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:55,738 I CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH LONGER, CAPTAIN. CAN'T WE DO SOMETHING TO STOP 200 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:56,706 LONGER, CAPTAIN. CAN'T WE DO SOMETHING TO STOP THEM? 201 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:57,874 CAN'T WE DO SOMETHING TO STOP THEM? MAYBE IF WE GIVE THEM A 202 00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:58,741 THEM? MAYBE IF WE GIVE THEM A SCARE. 203 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,142 MAYBE IF WE GIVE THEM A SCARE. LET'S FIRE THE MOUSE RAY. 204 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,444 SCARE. LET'S FIRE THE MOUSE RAY. FIRING THE MOUSE RAY. 205 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:02,211 LET'S FIRE THE MOUSE RAY. FIRING THE MOUSE RAY. MMM! 206 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,569 FIRING THE MOUSE RAY. MMM! [BEEPING] 207 00:10:12,444 --> 00:10:20,444 All: EEK! EEK! EEK! EEK! CAPTAIN MACHO, WE'VE LOST CONTROL! 208 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,461 CAPTAIN MACHO, WE'VE LOST CONTROL! WE'RE GONNA COLLIDE! 209 00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:37,762 [CRASHING] DAMAGE REPORT! NO SERIOUS DAMAGE, CAPTAIN, 210 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,919 DAMAGE REPORT! NO SERIOUS DAMAGE, CAPTAIN, BUT OUR VESSEL WILL NEVER BE THE 211 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,988 NO SERIOUS DAMAGE, CAPTAIN, BUT OUR VESSEL WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. 212 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,055 BUT OUR VESSEL WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE THEM 213 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,189 SAME. MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE THEM HALF AN HOUR AND SEE IF THEY'LL 214 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:50,426 MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE THEM HALF AN HOUR AND SEE IF THEY'LL ATTACK AGAIN. 215 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,694 HALF AN HOUR AND SEE IF THEY'LL ATTACK AGAIN. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I 216 00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:57,967 ATTACK AGAIN. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I COULD CERTAINLY USE A CIGARETTE. 217 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,769 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I COULD CERTAINLY USE A CIGARETTE. THAT WAS SOME BATTLE, MEN. 218 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,170 COULD CERTAINLY USE A CIGARETTE. THAT WAS SOME BATTLE, MEN. I THINK WE'D BETTER GET SOME 219 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:01,738 THAT WAS SOME BATTLE, MEN. I THINK WE'D BETTER GET SOME SLEEP. 220 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,305 I THINK WE'D BETTER GET SOME SLEEP. ARE YOU SURE, CAPTAIN? 221 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,008 SLEEP. ARE YOU SURE, CAPTAIN? I THINK WE OUGHT TO DO BATTLE 222 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:05,908 ARE YOU SURE, CAPTAIN? I THINK WE OUGHT TO DO BATTLE AGAIN RIGHT NOW. 223 00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,777 I THINK WE OUGHT TO DO BATTLE AGAIN RIGHT NOW. NO! NO! 224 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,734 AGAIN RIGHT NOW. NO! NO! GET SOME SLEEP. 225 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:25,116 Announcer: JOIN US NEXT WEEK FOR "ESCAPE FROM THE PLANET OF THE GAYS." 226 00:11:28,954 --> 00:11:31,801 HERE'S SOMEBODY I THINK YOU'LL BE HEARING A LOT MORE ABOUT. 227 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,002 YOU'LL BE HEARING A LOT MORE ABOUT. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 228 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,603 ABOUT. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LIBBY TITUS. 229 00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,438 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LIBBY TITUS. [APPLAUSE] 230 00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:38,074 LIBBY TITUS. [APPLAUSE] [INTRO TO "FOOL THAT I AM" 231 00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:46,015 [APPLAUSE] [INTRO TO "FOOL THAT I AM" PLAYS] 232 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,217 [INTRO TO "FOOL THAT I AM" PLAYS] ♪ THE FIRST TIME THAT I SAW 233 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:52,155 [PLAYS] ♪ THE FIRST TIME THAT I SAW YOU WAS IN CHINATOWN ♪ 234 00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:55,091 ♪ THE FIRST TIME THAT I SAW YOU WAS IN CHINATOWN ♪ ♪ YOU SMILED AT ME, 235 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:58,561 YOU WAS IN CHINATOWN ♪ ♪ YOU SMILED AT ME, AND MY HEAD FELL DOWN ♪ 236 00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:01,197 ♪ YOU SMILED AT ME, AND MY HEAD FELL DOWN ♪ ♪ THE NEXT TIME THAT I SAW YOU 237 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,701 AND MY HEAD FELL DOWN ♪ ♪ THE NEXT TIME THAT I SAW YOU WAS AT HOME ON TV ♪ 238 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,670 ♪ THE NEXT TIME THAT I SAW YOU WAS AT HOME ON TV ♪ ♪ I REACHED FOR THE DIAL 239 00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:11,240 WAS AT HOME ON TV ♪ ♪ I REACHED FOR THE DIAL JUST AS YOU REACHED FOR ME ♪ 240 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:17,246 ♪ I REACHED FOR THE DIAL JUST AS YOU REACHED FOR ME ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ 241 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,683 JUST AS YOU REACHED FOR ME ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ ♪ I WAITED FOR YOU, 242 00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:23,820 ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ ♪ I WAITED FOR YOU, HOPING YOU KNEW ♪ 243 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:28,780 ♪ I WAITED FOR YOU, HOPING YOU KNEW ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ 244 00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:44,288 ♪ A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE SAID YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME ♪ ♪ I KEPT A WATCH ON THE PHONE, 245 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:48,778 YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME ♪ ♪ I KEPT A WATCH ON THE PHONE, BUT UNFORTUNATELY ♪ 246 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:51,480 ♪ I KEPT A WATCH ON THE PHONE, BUT UNFORTUNATELY ♪ ♪ WHEN YOUR CALL CAME, 247 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:54,416 BUT UNFORTUNATELY ♪ ♪ WHEN YOUR CALL CAME, I WAS BADLY MISPLACED ♪ 248 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:58,387 ♪ WHEN YOUR CALL CAME, I WAS BADLY MISPLACED ♪ ♪ BY THE TIME I GOT FOUND, 249 00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,323 I WAS BADLY MISPLACED ♪ ♪ BY THE TIME I GOT FOUND, YOU COULDN'T BE TRACED ♪ 250 00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:07,429 ♪ BY THE TIME I GOT FOUND, YOU COULDN'T BE TRACED ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ 251 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,833 YOU COULDN'T BE TRACED ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ ♪ I WAITED FOR YOU, 252 00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:13,936 ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ ♪ I WAITED FOR YOU, HOPING YOU KNEW ♪ 253 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:21,010 ♪ I WAITED FOR YOU, HOPING YOU KNEW ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ 254 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,334 HOPING YOU KNEW ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ [SCATTING] 255 00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:53,257 ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ ♪ I WAITED FOR YOU, HOPING YOU KNEW ♪ 256 00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:03,186 ♪ I WAITED FOR YOU, HOPING YOU KNEW ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ 257 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,923 HOPING YOU KNEW ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ ♪ I WAITED FOR YOU, 258 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:10,026 ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ ♪ I WAITED FOR YOU, HOPING YOU KNEW ♪ 259 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:16,665 ♪ I WAITED FOR YOU, HOPING YOU KNEW ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ 260 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:24,689 HOPING YOU KNEW ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ 261 00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,499 ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ ♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪ [APPLAUSE] 262 00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:46,262 LAST WEEK, LORNE MICHAELS, "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S" DYNAMIC YOUNG PRODUCER, SAT IN THIS VERY 263 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,397 "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S" DYNAMIC YOUNG PRODUCER, SAT IN THIS VERY CHAIR AND TOLD YOU, THE AMERICAN 264 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,666 YOUNG PRODUCER, SAT IN THIS VERY CHAIR AND TOLD YOU, THE AMERICAN TELEVISION VIEWER, THAT ANYONE 265 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,434 CHAIR AND TOLD YOU, THE AMERICAN TELEVISION VIEWER, THAT ANYONE CAN HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT'S" 266 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,669 TELEVISION VIEWER, THAT ANYONE CAN HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT'S" CHRISTMAS SHOW. 267 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,972 CAN HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT'S" CHRISTMAS SHOW. WELL, THIS WEEK, LORNE ASKED ME 268 00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,074 CHRISTMAS SHOW. WELL, THIS WEEK, LORNE ASKED ME TO DO THIS SPOT TO EMPHASIZE 269 00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,509 WELL, THIS WEEK, LORNE ASKED ME TO DO THIS SPOT TO EMPHASIZE THAT ANYONE CAN HOST. 270 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,411 TO DO THIS SPOT TO EMPHASIZE THAT ANYONE CAN HOST. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS WRITE A 271 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,446 THAT ANYONE CAN HOST. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS WRITE A POSTCARD, 25 WORDS OR LESS, ON 272 00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,848 ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS WRITE A POSTCARD, 25 WORDS OR LESS, ON "WHY I WANT TO HOST 273 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,917 POSTCARD, 25 WORDS OR LESS, ON "WHY I WANT TO HOST 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'" AND SEND 274 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,501 "WHY I WANT TO HOST 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'" AND SEND IT TO US AT... 275 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:19,128 YOUR ENTRY MUST BE IN BY MIDNIGHT, NOVEMBER 1st. AND IF WE THINK YOUR POSTCARD IS 276 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,163 MIDNIGHT, NOVEMBER 1st. AND IF WE THINK YOUR POSTCARD IS FUNNY AND ORIGINAL, YOU MIGHT BE 277 00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,065 AND IF WE THINK YOUR POSTCARD IS FUNNY AND ORIGINAL, YOU MIGHT BE ONE OF FIVE FINALISTS FLOWN TO 278 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,101 FUNNY AND ORIGINAL, YOU MIGHT BE ONE OF FIVE FINALISTS FLOWN TO AND FROM NEW YORK IN NOVEMBER TO 279 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,069 ONE OF FIVE FINALISTS FLOWN TO AND FROM NEW YORK IN NOVEMBER TO READ HIS OR HER POSTCARD ON THE 280 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,104 AND FROM NEW YORK IN NOVEMBER TO READ HIS OR HER POSTCARD ON THE AIR. 281 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,372 READ HIS OR HER POSTCARD ON THE AIR. THEN IT'S UP TO THE PEOPLE AT 282 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,373 AIR. THEN IT'S UP TO THE PEOPLE AT HOME TO DECIDE. 283 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,108 THEN IT'S UP TO THE PEOPLE AT HOME TO DECIDE. THE LUCKY WINNER WILL BE FLOWN 284 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,910 HOME TO DECIDE. THE LUCKY WINNER WILL BE FLOWN TO NEW YORK, PUT UP AT THE SWANK 285 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:37,280 THE LUCKY WINNER WILL BE FLOWN TO NEW YORK, PUT UP AT THE SWANK ESSEX HOUSE HOTEL, AND PAID 286 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,949 TO NEW YORK, PUT UP AT THE SWANK ESSEX HOUSE HOTEL, AND PAID $3,000 TO HOST 287 00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:41,117 ESSEX HOUSE HOTEL, AND PAID $3,000 TO HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT'S" CHRISTMAS 288 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:42,684 $3,000 TO HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT'S" CHRISTMAS SHOW ON DECEMBER 17th. 289 00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:46,322 "SATURDAY NIGHT'S" CHRISTMAS SHOW ON DECEMBER 17th. REMEMBER, ANYONE CAN HOST. 290 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,291 SHOW ON DECEMBER 17th. REMEMBER, ANYONE CAN HOST. UH, WELL, NOT REALLY ANYONE. 291 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,592 REMEMBER, ANYONE CAN HOST. UH, WELL, NOT REALLY ANYONE. FOR EXAMPLE, I CAN'T HOST. 292 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,860 UH, WELL, NOT REALLY ANYONE. FOR EXAMPLE, I CAN'T HOST. Announcer: THAT'S RIGHT, 293 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,595 FOR EXAMPLE, I CAN'T HOST. Announcer: THAT'S RIGHT, GARRETT, BECAUSE NBC EMPLOYEES 294 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,398 Announcer: THAT'S RIGHT, GARRETT, BECAUSE NBC EMPLOYEES AND RELATIVES ARE NOT ELIGIBLE. 295 00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:57,099 GARRETT, BECAUSE NBC EMPLOYEES AND RELATIVES ARE NOT ELIGIBLE. I'D LIKE TO HOST THE SHOW, TOO, 296 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,234 AND RELATIVES ARE NOT ELIGIBLE. I'D LIKE TO HOST THE SHOW, TOO, BUT I CAN'T. 297 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,069 I'D LIKE TO HOST THE SHOW, TOO, BUT I CAN'T. ONCE AGAIN, SEND THOSE 298 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,573 BUT I CAN'T. ONCE AGAIN, SEND THOSE POSTCARDS, NO LETTERS, TO... 299 00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:23,625 I'M DONE STUDYING FOR TONIGHT. HOW ABOUT YOU, HONEY? 300 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:24,393 TONIGHT. HOW ABOUT YOU, HONEY? YEAH. 301 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,494 HOW ABOUT YOU, HONEY? YEAH. I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA FIND A 302 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,562 YEAH. I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA FIND A CURE FOR CANCER TONIGHT. 303 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,797 I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA FIND A CURE FOR CANCER TONIGHT. YEAH. 304 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,999 CURE FOR CANCER TONIGHT. YEAH. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST 305 00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:33,002 YEAH. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST RELAX, SMOKE A JOINT, GO TO BED? 306 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,636 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST RELAX, SMOKE A JOINT, GO TO BED? GREAT IDEA. 307 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,338 RELAX, SMOKE A JOINT, GO TO BED? GREAT IDEA. YEAH. 308 00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:38,174 GREAT IDEA. YEAH. TOO MUCH STUDYING, YOU KNOW? 309 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:40,242 YEAH. TOO MUCH STUDYING, YOU KNOW? YOU KNOW, DR. SHELL'S PAPER ON 310 00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,445 TOO MUCH STUDYING, YOU KNOW? YOU KNOW, DR. SHELL'S PAPER ON THE ISOLATION OF CANCER CELLS IN 311 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,046 YOU KNOW, DR. SHELL'S PAPER ON THE ISOLATION OF CANCER CELLS IN BLADDER TISSUE IS VERY 312 00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:45,047 THE ISOLATION OF CANCER CELLS IN BLADDER TISSUE IS VERY INTERESTING. 313 00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:46,282 BLADDER TISSUE IS VERY INTERESTING. I'LL HAVE TO READ THAT BEFORE 314 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:47,283 INTERESTING. I'LL HAVE TO READ THAT BEFORE I GO TO THE DAYCARE CENTER 315 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:47,749 I'LL HAVE TO READ THAT BEFORE I GO TO THE DAYCARE CENTER TOMORROW. 316 00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:49,518 I GO TO THE DAYCARE CENTER TOMORROW. OH, YEAH, PLEASE. 317 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:53,522 TOMORROW. OH, YEAH, PLEASE. I GOT IT HERE SOMEWHERE. 318 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:58,160 OH, YEAH, PLEASE. I GOT IT HERE SOMEWHERE. [INHALING] 319 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,562 I GOT IT HERE SOMEWHERE. [INHALING] AHHHH! 320 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:01,297 [INHALING] AHHHH! FREEZE! 321 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:02,664 AHHHH! FREEZE! X-POLICE! 322 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,833 FREEZE! X-POLICE! X-POLICE?! 323 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,002 X-POLICE! X-POLICE?! WE WERE KICKED OFF THE FORCE 324 00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:09,505 X-POLICE?! WE WERE KICKED OFF THE FORCE A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO. 325 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,639 WE WERE KICKED OFF THE FORCE A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO. BUT THAT WON'T KEEP US FROM 326 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,540 A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO. BUT THAT WON'T KEEP US FROM ENFORCING THE LAW! 327 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,442 BUT THAT WON'T KEEP US FROM ENFORCING THE LAW! YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA. 328 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:14,276 ENFORCING THE LAW! YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA. IT'S A FELONY! 329 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,444 YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA. IT'S A FELONY! YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE 330 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,379 IT'S A FELONY! YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE WITHOUT A WARRANT! 331 00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:17,013 YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE WITHOUT A WARRANT! ALL RIGHT. 332 00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,214 WITHOUT A WARRANT! ALL RIGHT. THIS IS MY WARRANT, BABY. 333 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:18,914 ALL RIGHT. THIS IS MY WARRANT, BABY. AAH! 334 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:19,615 THIS IS MY WARRANT, BABY. AAH! HEY! 335 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:20,682 AAH! HEY! LOOK, YOU CAN'T... 336 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,018 HEY! LOOK, YOU CAN'T... WHAAA! 337 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,919 LOOK, YOU CAN'T... WHAAA! I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'VE EVER 338 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,155 WHAAA! I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'VE EVER SEEN A 13-YEAR-OLD TURNED ON TO 339 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,224 I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'VE EVER SEEN A 13-YEAR-OLD TURNED ON TO HEROIN BECAUSE SOME PUNK LIKE 340 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,859 SEEN A 13-YEAR-OLD TURNED ON TO HEROIN BECAUSE SOME PUNK LIKE YOU GAVE HER A MARIJUANA JOINT! 341 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,528 HEROIN BECAUSE SOME PUNK LIKE YOU GAVE HER A MARIJUANA JOINT! POT, GRASS, MARIJUANA... IT'S 342 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,929 YOU GAVE HER A MARIJUANA JOINT! POT, GRASS, MARIJUANA... IT'S ALL THE SAME! 343 00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,297 POT, GRASS, MARIJUANA... IT'S ALL THE SAME! JOE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP 344 00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,598 ALL THE SAME! JOE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP HITTING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE 345 00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:37,133 JOE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP HITTING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE WALL. 346 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,401 HITTING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE WALL. HE'S ALREADY UNCONSCIOUS. 347 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,136 WALL. HE'S ALREADY UNCONSCIOUS. HE COULD GET SERIOUSLY HURT. 348 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,471 HE'S ALREADY UNCONSCIOUS. HE COULD GET SERIOUSLY HURT. I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT! 349 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:47,276 HE COULD GET SERIOUSLY HURT. I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT! [MOANS] 350 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,444 I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT! [MOANS] IT'S TOO LATE. 351 00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,646 [MOANS] IT'S TOO LATE. HE'S DEAD. 352 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:56,485 IT'S TOO LATE. HE'S DEAD. ANOTHER MARIJUANA-RELATED DEATH. 353 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,553 HE'S DEAD. ANOTHER MARIJUANA-RELATED DEATH. BETTER MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THE 354 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,187 ANOTHER MARIJUANA-RELATED DEATH. BETTER MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THE GIRL DID IT. 355 00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,156 BETTER MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THE GIRL DID IT. THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 356 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,324 GIRL DID IT. THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. [GUNSHOT] 357 00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,426 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. [GUNSHOT] OKAY, GIVE ME THAT GLASS OF 358 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:08,630 [GUNSHOT] OKAY, GIVE ME THAT GLASS OF WATER. 359 00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,266 OKAY, GIVE ME THAT GLASS OF WATER. HERE. 360 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:13,536 WATER. HERE. WIPE YOUR PRINTS. 361 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:18,941 HERE. WIPE YOUR PRINTS. AAH! 362 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,610 WIPE YOUR PRINTS. AAH! WHAT HAPPENED?! 363 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:22,611 AAH! WHAT HAPPENED?! [SCOFFS] 364 00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:25,181 WHAT HAPPENED?! [SCOFFS] YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA. 365 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,216 [SCOFFS] YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA. YOU GOT HYSTERICAL, HE THREW A 366 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,351 YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA. YOU GOT HYSTERICAL, HE THREW A GLASS OF WATER IN YOUR FACE, AND 367 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:32,988 YOU GOT HYSTERICAL, HE THREW A GLASS OF WATER IN YOUR FACE, AND YOU SHOT HIM! 368 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,656 GLASS OF WATER IN YOUR FACE, AND YOU SHOT HIM! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! 369 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,725 YOU SHOT HIM! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! AAAAAAHH! 370 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:42,898 WHAT HAVE I DONE?! AAAAAAHH! [GLASS SHATTERING] 371 00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:46,835 AAAAAAHH! [GLASS SHATTERING] MARIJUANA. 372 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:47,903 [GLASS SHATTERING] MARIJUANA. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE 373 00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,607 MARIJUANA. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THE REAL POLICE ARRIVE. 374 00:18:56,335 --> 00:19:00,216 Announcer: SUSAN KLEIN RECOVERED FROM HER FALL AND WAS CONVICTED OF FIRST-DEGREE MURDER 375 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,517 RECOVERED FROM HER FALL AND WAS CONVICTED OF FIRST-DEGREE MURDER IN THE SHOOTING DEATH OF HER 376 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,451 CONVICTED OF FIRST-DEGREE MURDER IN THE SHOOTING DEATH OF HER HUSBAND. 377 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,885 IN THE SHOOTING DEATH OF HER HUSBAND. SHE WAS SENTENCED TO LIFE IN 378 00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:05,387 HUSBAND. SHE WAS SENTENCED TO LIFE IN PRISON AT THE CALIFORNIA STATE 379 00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:06,888 SHE WAS SENTENCED TO LIFE IN PRISON AT THE CALIFORNIA STATE WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY WHERE SHE 380 00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:10,526 PRISON AT THE CALIFORNIA STATE WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY WHERE SHE WAS KILLED IN A PRISON RIOT. 381 00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,060 WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY WHERE SHE WAS KILLED IN A PRISON RIOT. JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK FOR 382 00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:16,020 WAS KILLED IN A PRISON RIOT. JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF "X-POLICE"! 383 00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:34,049 GEE, HEF, THANKS FOR TAKING TIME OUT FROM YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE TO HELP ME WITH MY THESIS. 384 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,851 TIME OUT FROM YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE TO HELP ME WITH MY THESIS. AH, LISTEN, IT'S A PLEASURE. 385 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,119 TO HELP ME WITH MY THESIS. AH, LISTEN, IT'S A PLEASURE. IT'S NOT EVERY DAY I'M ABLE TO 386 00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,420 AH, LISTEN, IT'S A PLEASURE. IT'S NOT EVERY DAY I'M ABLE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE EDUCATION OF 387 00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:39,455 IT'S NOT EVERY DAY I'M ABLE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE EDUCATION OF A COMELY YOUNG COED LIKE 388 00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:40,523 PARTICIPATE IN THE EDUCATION OF A COMELY YOUNG COED LIKE YOURSELF. 389 00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:41,890 A COMELY YOUNG COED LIKE YOURSELF. BESIDES, I REALLY APPRECIATE THE 390 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,259 YOURSELF. BESIDES, I REALLY APPRECIATE THE OPPORTUNITY TO QUIT WORKING FOR 391 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,627 BESIDES, I REALLY APPRECIATE THE OPPORTUNITY TO QUIT WORKING FOR A NIGHT AND DO THE THING I ENJOY 392 00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:45,161 OPPORTUNITY TO QUIT WORKING FOR A NIGHT AND DO THE THING I ENJOY THE MOST. 393 00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:46,529 A NIGHT AND DO THE THING I ENJOY THE MOST. [GIGGLES] 394 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:47,929 THE MOST. [GIGGLES] DID YOU BRING THE EQUIPMENT? 395 00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:49,198 [GIGGLES] DID YOU BRING THE EQUIPMENT? YES, I HAVE EVERYTHING WE 396 00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:49,665 DID YOU BRING THE EQUIPMENT? YES, I HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED. 397 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,799 YES, I HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED. WELL, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO 398 00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:51,400 NEED. WELL, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO FIRST? 399 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:52,501 WELL, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO FIRST? WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE? 400 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,402 FIRST? WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE? THE PROTRACTOR. 401 00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,770 WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE? THE PROTRACTOR. NOW, COULD YOU EXPLAIN YOUR 402 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:55,837 THE PROTRACTOR. NOW, COULD YOU EXPLAIN YOUR RESEARCH A LITTLE MORE 403 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,772 NOW, COULD YOU EXPLAIN YOUR RESEARCH A LITTLE MORE SPECIFICALLY TO ME? 404 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,340 RESEARCH A LITTLE MORE SPECIFICALLY TO ME? WELL, IT'S LIKE I SAID... 405 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,176 SPECIFICALLY TO ME? WELL, IT'S LIKE I SAID... TONIGHT I INTEND TO PROVE THE 406 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,178 WELL, IT'S LIKE I SAID... TONIGHT I INTEND TO PROVE THE MAJOR HYPOTHESIS OF MY THESIS ON 407 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,679 TONIGHT I INTEND TO PROVE THE MAJOR HYPOTHESIS OF MY THESIS ON MALE SEXUAL PERFORMANCE 408 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,947 MAJOR HYPOTHESIS OF MY THESIS ON MALE SEXUAL PERFORMANCE TERRITORIES AND THEIR GEOMETRIC 409 00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:07,683 MALE SEXUAL PERFORMANCE TERRITORIES AND THEIR GEOMETRIC VARIANCE USING YOU AND YOUR 410 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:08,617 TERRITORIES AND THEIR GEOMETRIC VARIANCE USING YOU AND YOUR CIRCULAR BED. 411 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:09,685 VARIANCE USING YOU AND YOUR CIRCULAR BED. SOUNDS GOOD. 412 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,620 CIRCULAR BED. SOUNDS GOOD. NOW, WHAT HYPOTHESIS DO YOU HOPE 413 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:12,721 SOUNDS GOOD. NOW, WHAT HYPOTHESIS DO YOU HOPE TO PROVE? 414 00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:15,023 NOW, WHAT HYPOTHESIS DO YOU HOPE TO PROVE? WELL, IF TWO BODIES INTERSECT 415 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,958 TO PROVE? WELL, IF TWO BODIES INTERSECT AT VARIOUS ANGLES WITHIN A 416 00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:19,261 WELL, IF TWO BODIES INTERSECT AT VARIOUS ANGLES WITHIN A CIRCULAR AREA AND LOVE-MAKING IS 417 00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,397 AT VARIOUS ANGLES WITHIN A CIRCULAR AREA AND LOVE-MAKING IS PERFORMED FOR 3.14 MINUTES IN 418 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,599 CIRCULAR AREA AND LOVE-MAKING IS PERFORMED FOR 3.14 MINUTES IN EACH QUADRANT, BY THE TIME THE 419 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,767 PERFORMED FOR 3.14 MINUTES IN EACH QUADRANT, BY THE TIME THE BODIES REACH THE MIDPOINT, THE 420 00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:28,070 EACH QUADRANT, BY THE TIME THE BODIES REACH THE MIDPOINT, THE COUPLE WILL ACHIEVE PI! 421 00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:29,004 BODIES REACH THE MIDPOINT, THE COUPLE WILL ACHIEVE PI! GREAT. 422 00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:30,439 COUPLE WILL ACHIEVE PI! GREAT. LET'S GO TO WORK. 423 00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:31,607 GREAT. LET'S GO TO WORK. LET'S DO IT FOR SCIENCE. 424 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:32,208 LET'S GO TO WORK. LET'S DO IT FOR SCIENCE. OKAY. 425 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,276 LET'S DO IT FOR SCIENCE. OKAY. [BEEPING] 426 00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:34,976 OKAY. [BEEPING] OH, NO. 427 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:35,911 [BEEPING] OH, NO. WHAT'S THAT? 428 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:36,978 OH, NO. WHAT'S THAT? IT'S MY BEEPER. 429 00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:38,714 WHAT'S THAT? IT'S MY BEEPER. IT BEEPS EVERY TIME AN IMPORTANT 430 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,316 IT'S MY BEEPER. IT BEEPS EVERY TIME AN IMPORTANT CALL COMES IN ON MY ANSWERING 431 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:40,916 IT BEEPS EVERY TIME AN IMPORTANT CALL COMES IN ON MY ANSWERING SERVICE. 432 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,818 CALL COMES IN ON MY ANSWERING SERVICE. I'M GONNA HAVE TO PHONE THE 433 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:43,485 SERVICE. I'M GONNA HAVE TO PHONE THE SERVICE. 434 00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,254 I'M GONNA HAVE TO PHONE THE SERVICE. THAT'S WHAT THAT LITTLE BLACK 435 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:45,921 SERVICE. THAT'S WHAT THAT LITTLE BLACK BOX WAS? 436 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,223 THAT'S WHAT THAT LITTLE BLACK BOX WAS? I WAS AFRAID TO ASK. 437 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:50,526 BOX WAS? I WAS AFRAID TO ASK. I THOUGHT IT WAS A PACEMAKER. 438 00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:52,194 I WAS AFRAID TO ASK. I THOUGHT IT WAS A PACEMAKER. NO. 439 00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,229 I THOUGHT IT WAS A PACEMAKER. NO. EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE 'CAUSE I 440 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,230 NO. EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE 'CAUSE I AM GONNA HAVE TO CALL MY 441 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:54,630 EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE 'CAUSE I AM GONNA HAVE TO CALL MY SERVICE. 442 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,532 AM GONNA HAVE TO CALL MY SERVICE. I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. 443 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:57,533 SERVICE. I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. NO, NO, NO. 444 00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:58,900 I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. NO, NO, NO. I GIVE YOU MY WORD, THIS IS OUR 445 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,202 NO, NO, NO. I GIVE YOU MY WORD, THIS IS OUR NIGHT. 446 00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,871 I GIVE YOU MY WORD, THIS IS OUR NIGHT. UH, HELLO, THIS IS HEFNER. 447 00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,206 NIGHT. UH, HELLO, THIS IS HEFNER. WHO CALLED? 448 00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:05,507 UH, HELLO, THIS IS HEFNER. WHO CALLED? OH, REALLY? 449 00:21:05,531 --> 00:21:06,842 WHO CALLED? OH, REALLY? AGAIN, HUH? 450 00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,177 OH, REALLY? AGAIN, HUH? WHAT'S HE WANT THIS TIME? 451 00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:09,778 AGAIN, HUH? WHAT'S HE WANT THIS TIME? I SEE. 452 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,046 WHAT'S HE WANT THIS TIME? I SEE. WELL, LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE 453 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:11,980 I SEE. WELL, LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE DISTURBED TONIGHT. 454 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,349 WELL, LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE DISTURBED TONIGHT. LET'S HOLD ALL CALLS, AND TELL 455 00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:14,683 DISTURBED TONIGHT. LET'S HOLD ALL CALLS, AND TELL HIM I'LL CALL HIM TOMORROW. 456 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:15,784 LET'S HOLD ALL CALLS, AND TELL HIM I'LL CALL HIM TOMORROW. OKAY? 457 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:16,619 HIM I'LL CALL HIM TOMORROW. OKAY? OKAY. 458 00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:17,919 OKAY? OKAY. ALWAYS IN DEMAND. 459 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,788 OKAY. ALWAYS IN DEMAND. IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS 460 00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,323 ALWAYS IN DEMAND. IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO REACH YOU, HEF. 461 00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:22,858 IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO REACH YOU, HEF. YES, BUT I WANT TO FORGET ALL 462 00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:23,592 TRYING TO REACH YOU, HEF. YES, BUT I WANT TO FORGET ALL THEM TONIGHT. 463 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,361 YES, BUT I WANT TO FORGET ALL THEM TONIGHT. TELL ME, AM I THE ONLY SUBJECT 464 00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,129 THEM TONIGHT. TELL ME, AM I THE ONLY SUBJECT IN YOUR EXPERIMENT WHO OWNS AN 465 00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:28,330 TELL ME, AM I THE ONLY SUBJECT IN YOUR EXPERIMENT WHO OWNS AN UNCOMMONLY SHAPED BED? 466 00:21:28,354 --> 00:21:29,265 IN YOUR EXPERIMENT WHO OWNS AN UNCOMMONLY SHAPED BED? OH, NO. 467 00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,666 UNCOMMONLY SHAPED BED? OH, NO. I EXPERIMENTED WITH AN 468 00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,301 OH, NO. I EXPERIMENTED WITH AN OCTOGENARIAN WHO SLEPT ON A 469 00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:32,968 I EXPERIMENTED WITH AN OCTOGENARIAN WHO SLEPT ON A HEXAGON. 470 00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:34,202 OCTOGENARIAN WHO SLEPT ON A HEXAGON. HE DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE 471 00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:34,836 HEXAGON. HE DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT. 472 00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:35,604 HE DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT. [BEEPING] 473 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:36,705 NIGHT. [BEEPING] OH. 474 00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:38,106 [BEEPING] OH. I THOUGHT YOU TOLD THEM TO 475 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:38,940 OH. I THOUGHT YOU TOLD THEM TO HOLD ALL CALLS. 476 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,376 I THOUGHT YOU TOLD THEM TO HOLD ALL CALLS. YES, THAT'S NOT THE BEEPER. 477 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:44,446 HOLD ALL CALLS. YES, THAT'S NOT THE BEEPER. THAT'S OUR PLAYBOY RADAR SCAN. 478 00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,782 YES, THAT'S NOT THE BEEPER. THAT'S OUR PLAYBOY RADAR SCAN. IT MEANS THAT... 479 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,884 THAT'S OUR PLAYBOY RADAR SCAN. IT MEANS THAT... SOMEONE'S LANDING ON THE HELIPAD 480 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,419 IT MEANS THAT... SOMEONE'S LANDING ON THE HELIPAD UP ON THE ROOF. 481 00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:51,953 SOMEONE'S LANDING ON THE HELIPAD UP ON THE ROOF. HEF, I BETTER GO. 482 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,422 UP ON THE ROOF. HEF, I BETTER GO. YOU'RE TOO BUSY TO BE BOTHERED 483 00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:54,823 HEF, I BETTER GO. YOU'RE TOO BUSY TO BE BOTHERED BY SOME COED WHO'S WORKING ON 484 00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:55,658 YOU'RE TOO BUSY TO BE BOTHERED BY SOME COED WHO'S WORKING ON HER THESIS. 485 00:21:55,682 --> 00:21:56,958 BY SOME COED WHO'S WORKING ON HER THESIS. NO, I TOLD YOU THIS IS GONNA 486 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:57,593 HER THESIS. NO, I TOLD YOU THIS IS GONNA BE OUR NIGHT. 487 00:21:57,617 --> 00:21:59,261 NO, I TOLD YOU THIS IS GONNA BE OUR NIGHT. NO ONE IS GONNA DISTURB US, NOT 488 00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:00,763 BE OUR NIGHT. NO ONE IS GONNA DISTURB US, NOT EVEN IF THE PRESIDENT OF THE 489 00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:02,230 NO ONE IS GONNA DISTURB US, NOT EVEN IF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES WERE TO CALL. 490 00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,774 EVEN IF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES WERE TO CALL. OKAY. 491 00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:16,278 EXCUSE ME, HEF. HELLO, MA'AM. HEF, I TRIED CALLING ON THE 492 00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:17,479 HELLO, MA'AM. HEF, I TRIED CALLING ON THE PHONE, BUT THEY SAID THAT THEY 493 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:18,580 HEF, I TRIED CALLING ON THE PHONE, BUT THEY SAID THAT THEY PUT YOU ON HOLD THERE, AND I 494 00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:19,548 PHONE, BUT THEY SAID THAT THEY PUT YOU ON HOLD THERE, AND I JUST HAD TO TALK TO YOU. 495 00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:20,816 PUT YOU ON HOLD THERE, AND I JUST HAD TO TALK TO YOU. I NEED SOME ADVICE FROM YOU 496 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:21,950 JUST HAD TO TALK TO YOU. I NEED SOME ADVICE FROM YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. 497 00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:22,984 I NEED SOME ADVICE FROM YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. WHAT IS IT NOW, JIMMY? 498 00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:24,186 ABOUT SOMETHING. WHAT IS IT NOW, JIMMY? CAN I SIT DOWN HERE ON THE 499 00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:24,653 WHAT IS IT NOW, JIMMY? CAN I SIT DOWN HERE ON THE BED? 500 00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:26,087 CAN I SIT DOWN HERE ON THE BED? SURE. 501 00:22:26,111 --> 00:22:27,289 BED? SURE. WELL, HEF, AS YOU KNOW, THE 502 00:22:27,313 --> 00:22:28,557 SURE. WELL, HEF, AS YOU KNOW, THE GENEVA CONFERENCE IS NEXT WEEK. 503 00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:29,658 WELL, HEF, AS YOU KNOW, THE GENEVA CONFERENCE IS NEXT WEEK. THERE ARE GONNA BE A LOT OF 504 00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:30,892 GENEVA CONFERENCE IS NEXT WEEK. THERE ARE GONNA BE A LOT OF COUNTRIES THERE, AND I WANT TO 505 00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:31,860 THERE ARE GONNA BE A LOT OF COUNTRIES THERE, AND I WANT TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION. 506 00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:33,228 COUNTRIES THERE, AND I WANT TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION. I LIKE TO GET BACK IN MY HOTEL 507 00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:34,530 MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION. I LIKE TO GET BACK IN MY HOTEL ROOM, THINK ABOUT POLICY, AND 508 00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:35,931 I LIKE TO GET BACK IN MY HOTEL ROOM, THINK ABOUT POLICY, AND RELAX AND LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC. 509 00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,466 ROOM, THINK ABOUT POLICY, AND RELAX AND LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC. I LIKE TO PLAY MY MUSIC LOUD, SO 510 00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:39,000 RELAX AND LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC. I LIKE TO PLAY MY MUSIC LOUD, SO I DON'T WANT TO DISTURB ANYBODY 511 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:40,168 I LIKE TO PLAY MY MUSIC LOUD, SO I DON'T WANT TO DISTURB ANYBODY IN THE HOTEL, AND I WAS 512 00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,337 I DON'T WANT TO DISTURB ANYBODY IN THE HOTEL, AND I WAS WONDERING, WHAT KIND OF 513 00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,872 IN THE HOTEL, AND I WAS WONDERING, WHAT KIND OF HEADPHONES SHOULD I BUY? 514 00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:45,307 WONDERING, WHAT KIND OF HEADPHONES SHOULD I BUY? SECRETARY OF STATE VANCE AND I 515 00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:45,941 HEADPHONES SHOULD I BUY? SECRETARY OF STATE VANCE AND I HAD A BET. 516 00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:47,409 SECRETARY OF STATE VANCE AND I HAD A BET. HE SAID YOU'D SAY CLAUS K190s, 517 00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:48,610 HAD A BET. HE SAID YOU'D SAY CLAUS K190s, AND I FIGURED YOU'D SAID 518 00:22:48,634 --> 00:22:50,412 HE SAID YOU'D SAY CLAUS K190s, AND I FIGURED YOU'D SAID MASTERSOUND PRO 15s. 519 00:22:50,436 --> 00:22:51,380 AND I FIGURED YOU'D SAID MASTERSOUND PRO 15s. WELL, IF YOU SAID 520 00:22:51,404 --> 00:22:52,715 MASTERSOUND PRO 15s. WELL, IF YOU SAID MASTERSOUND PRO 15s, COLLECT 521 00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:53,315 WELL, IF YOU SAID MASTERSOUND PRO 15s, COLLECT YOUR MONEY. 522 00:22:53,339 --> 00:22:54,316 MASTERSOUND PRO 15s, COLLECT YOUR MONEY. YOU WON THE BET. 523 00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:55,818 YOUR MONEY. YOU WON THE BET. MASTERSOUND PUTS OUT SEPARATE 524 00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:57,419 YOU WON THE BET. MASTERSOUND PUTS OUT SEPARATE TWEETER AND WOOFER IN EACH CUP, 525 00:22:57,443 --> 00:22:58,854 MASTERSOUND PUTS OUT SEPARATE TWEETER AND WOOFER IN EACH CUP, COUPLED BY A FULL CROSSOVER 526 00:22:58,878 --> 00:22:59,688 TWEETER AND WOOFER IN EACH CUP, COUPLED BY A FULL CROSSOVER NETWORK. 527 00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:01,189 COUPLED BY A FULL CROSSOVER NETWORK. THE RESULT IS A POWERFUL BASS 528 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:02,758 NETWORK. THE RESULT IS A POWERFUL BASS RESPONSE, RICHNESS IN TONE, AND 529 00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:04,360 THE RESULT IS A POWERFUL BASS RESPONSE, RICHNESS IN TONE, AND THE SOUND STILL HOLDS TOGETHER. 530 00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:06,328 RESPONSE, RICHNESS IN TONE, AND THE SOUND STILL HOLDS TOGETHER. NOW, COULD YOU LEAVE US, JIMMY? 531 00:23:06,352 --> 00:23:07,229 THE SOUND STILL HOLDS TOGETHER. NOW, COULD YOU LEAVE US, JIMMY? I AM BUSY. 532 00:23:07,253 --> 00:23:08,330 NOW, COULD YOU LEAVE US, JIMMY? I AM BUSY. OKAY, THANKS, HEF. 533 00:23:08,354 --> 00:23:10,198 I AM BUSY. OKAY, THANKS, HEF. THANKS A LOT. 534 00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:11,533 OKAY, THANKS, HEF. THANKS A LOT. OH, THERE'S ONE MORE THING. 535 00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:12,601 THANKS A LOT. OH, THERE'S ONE MORE THING. WHAT IS IT? 536 00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:13,935 OH, THERE'S ONE MORE THING. WHAT IS IT? THE SECRET SERVICE MEN AND I 537 00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,504 WHAT IS IT? THE SECRET SERVICE MEN AND I WOULD LIKE TO USE THE JACUZZI. 538 00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:16,538 THE SECRET SERVICE MEN AND I WOULD LIKE TO USE THE JACUZZI. GO AHEAD. 539 00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:17,038 WOULD LIKE TO USE THE JACUZZI. GO AHEAD. ANYTHING. 540 00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:18,073 GO AHEAD. ANYTHING. OKAY, THANK YOU. 541 00:23:18,097 --> 00:23:18,907 ANYTHING. OKAY, THANK YOU. BYE-BYE, MA'AM. 542 00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:20,743 OKAY, THANK YOU. BYE-BYE, MA'AM. NICE MEETING YOU. 543 00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:22,711 BYE-BYE, MA'AM. NICE MEETING YOU. LET'S GET BACK TO BASIC 544 00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:24,815 NICE MEETING YOU. LET'S GET BACK TO BASIC GEOMETRY. 545 00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:37,192 Announcer: AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR "LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC," THE PROGRAM DEDICATED TO MUSIC 546 00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:39,160 FOR "LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC," THE PROGRAM DEDICATED TO MUSIC APPRECIATION, WITH YOUR HOST, 547 00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:41,830 THE PROGRAM DEDICATED TO MUSIC APPRECIATION, WITH YOUR HOST, JOHN BELUSHI. 548 00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:43,231 APPRECIATION, WITH YOUR HOST, JOHN BELUSHI. GOOD EVENING, MUSIC 549 00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:43,999 JOHN BELUSHI. GOOD EVENING, MUSIC LISTENERS. 550 00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:46,001 GOOD EVENING, MUSIC LISTENERS. I'M JOHN BELUSHI, AND TONIGHT ON 551 00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:47,903 LISTENERS. I'M JOHN BELUSHI, AND TONIGHT ON "LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC," WE 552 00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:49,471 I'M JOHN BELUSHI, AND TONIGHT ON "LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC," WE ARE GOING TO HEAR A RARE 553 00:23:49,495 --> 00:23:52,274 "LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC," WE ARE GOING TO HEAR A RARE RECORDING OF RICHARD WAGNER'S 554 00:23:52,298 --> 00:23:54,242 ARE GOING TO HEAR A RARE RECORDING OF RICHARD WAGNER'S "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES," FROM 555 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:55,977 RECORDING OF RICHARD WAGNER'S "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES," FROM "DIE VALKYRIE," ONE OF MY 556 00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:56,645 "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES," FROM "DIE VALKYRIE," ONE OF MY FAVORITES. 557 00:23:56,669 --> 00:23:58,547 "DIE VALKYRIE," ONE OF MY FAVORITES. WRITTEN IN 1855, ITS FAMILIAR 558 00:23:58,571 --> 00:24:00,348 FAVORITES. WRITTEN IN 1855, ITS FAMILIAR THEME IS CHARGED WITH FIERY 559 00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:02,217 WRITTEN IN 1855, ITS FAMILIAR THEME IS CHARGED WITH FIERY PASSION AND TEXTURED WITH THE 560 00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:04,185 THEME IS CHARGED WITH FIERY PASSION AND TEXTURED WITH THE FULL ORCHESTRA, COMPLETING THE 561 00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:06,087 PASSION AND TEXTURED WITH THE FULL ORCHESTRA, COMPLETING THE ORIGINAL MELODY IN A POWERFUL 562 00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:07,923 FULL ORCHESTRA, COMPLETING THE ORIGINAL MELODY IN A POWERFUL AND FORCEFUL BRILLIANCE. 563 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,525 ORIGINAL MELODY IN A POWERFUL AND FORCEFUL BRILLIANCE. [BLOWING] 564 00:24:09,549 --> 00:24:11,627 AND FORCEFUL BRILLIANCE. [BLOWING] WAGNER OFTEN WRITES MUSIC WHICH 565 00:24:11,651 --> 00:24:13,328 [BLOWING] WAGNER OFTEN WRITES MUSIC WHICH SEEMS TO EVOKE A SORT OF 566 00:24:13,352 --> 00:24:16,264 WAGNER OFTEN WRITES MUSIC WHICH SEEMS TO EVOKE A SORT OF SUGGESTIVENESS OF PLACE, OF 567 00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:17,299 SEEMS TO EVOKE A SORT OF SUGGESTIVENESS OF PLACE, OF THINGS. 568 00:24:17,323 --> 00:24:21,136 SUGGESTIVENESS OF PLACE, OF THINGS. SO, AS I PLAY THE RECORD... 569 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,104 THINGS. SO, AS I PLAY THE RECORD... YOU TRY TO IMAGINE FOR YOURSELF 570 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:26,241 SO, AS I PLAY THE RECORD... YOU TRY TO IMAGINE FOR YOURSELF THE IMAGES WHICH APPEAR BEFORE 571 00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:28,577 YOU TRY TO IMAGINE FOR YOURSELF THE IMAGES WHICH APPEAR BEFORE YOUR BRAIN FROM THE MUSIC. 572 00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:29,878 THE IMAGES WHICH APPEAR BEFORE YOUR BRAIN FROM THE MUSIC. OKAY? 573 00:24:29,902 --> 00:24:33,181 YOUR BRAIN FROM THE MUSIC. OKAY? JUST IMAGINE. 574 00:24:33,205 --> 00:24:39,321 OKAY? JUST IMAGINE. LISTEN. 575 00:24:39,345 --> 00:24:40,856 JUST IMAGINE. LISTEN. ["THE RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" 576 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:47,796 LISTEN. ["THE RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" PLAYS] 577 00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:48,931 ["THE RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" PLAYS] HORSES. 578 00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:49,631 [PLAYS] HORSES. OH. 579 00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:53,034 HORSES. OH. HORSES. 580 00:24:53,058 --> 00:24:53,702 OH. HORSES. WAVES. 581 00:24:53,726 --> 00:24:56,071 HORSES. WAVES. OH, WAVES. 582 00:24:56,095 --> 00:24:58,039 WAVES. OH, WAVES. A LOT OF PEOPLE! 583 00:24:58,063 --> 00:24:59,708 OH, WAVES. A LOT OF PEOPLE! MOUNTAINS! 584 00:24:59,732 --> 00:25:00,709 A LOT OF PEOPLE! MOUNTAINS! SNOW! 585 00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:02,511 MOUNTAINS! SNOW! LANDSCAPES. 586 00:25:02,535 --> 00:25:03,912 SNOW! LANDSCAPES. FORESTS. 587 00:25:03,936 --> 00:25:05,347 LANDSCAPES. FORESTS. THE SKY! 588 00:25:05,371 --> 00:25:07,015 FORESTS. THE SKY! A FIELD AND A SMALL POND! 589 00:25:07,039 --> 00:25:08,884 THE SKY! A FIELD AND A SMALL POND! A BIG SHOW WITH A LOT OF HORSES! 590 00:25:08,908 --> 00:25:09,952 A FIELD AND A SMALL POND! A BIG SHOW WITH A LOT OF HORSES! A LOT OF PEOPLE GOING TO THE 591 00:25:09,976 --> 00:25:10,452 A BIG SHOW WITH A LOT OF HORSES! A LOT OF PEOPLE GOING TO THE SHOW. 592 00:25:10,476 --> 00:25:11,587 A LOT OF PEOPLE GOING TO THE SHOW. SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN... 593 00:25:11,611 --> 00:25:12,688 SHOW. SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN... SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN FREE. 594 00:25:12,712 --> 00:25:13,455 SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN... SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN FREE. AH, BUT THEY CAN'T! 595 00:25:13,479 --> 00:25:14,490 SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN FREE. AH, BUT THEY CAN'T! SOME OF THE PEOPLE CAN GET IN 596 00:25:14,514 --> 00:25:15,457 AH, BUT THEY CAN'T! SOME OF THE PEOPLE CAN GET IN FREE BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE 597 00:25:15,481 --> 00:25:16,492 SOME OF THE PEOPLE CAN GET IN FREE BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE PEOPLE THAT ARE IN THE SHOW. 598 00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:17,559 FREE BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE PEOPLE THAT ARE IN THE SHOW. WELL, THEY'RE ALL WATCHING THE 599 00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:18,627 PEOPLE THAT ARE IN THE SHOW. WELL, THEY'RE ALL WATCHING THE BIG SHOW AND THERE ARE A LOT OF 600 00:25:18,651 --> 00:25:19,060 WELL, THEY'RE ALL WATCHING THE BIG SHOW AND THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE. 601 00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:20,161 BIG SHOW AND THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE. EVERYBODY'S HAVING A GOOD TIME, 602 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:21,530 PEOPLE. EVERYBODY'S HAVING A GOOD TIME, AND THEN... AND THEN THERE'S... 603 00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:24,065 EVERYBODY'S HAVING A GOOD TIME, AND THEN... AND THEN THERE'S... [RECORD SCRATCHING] 604 00:25:24,089 --> 00:25:25,200 AND THEN... AND THEN THERE'S... [RECORD SCRATCHING] AH, RAINBOWS! 605 00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:26,334 [RECORD SCRATCHING] AH, RAINBOWS! AHH. 606 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:27,703 AH, RAINBOWS! AHH. RAINBOWS, WATERFALLS. 607 00:25:27,727 --> 00:25:28,770 AHH. RAINBOWS, WATERFALLS. OOH, THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHO 608 00:25:28,794 --> 00:25:29,671 RAINBOWS, WATERFALLS. OOH, THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHO MEET AND FALL IN LOVE. 609 00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:30,706 OOH, THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHO MEET AND FALL IN LOVE. AND IMMEDIATELY THEY FLY TO 610 00:25:30,730 --> 00:25:31,907 MEET AND FALL IN LOVE. AND IMMEDIATELY THEY FLY TO HAWAII. 611 00:25:31,931 --> 00:25:33,208 AND IMMEDIATELY THEY FLY TO HAWAII. FLYING TO HAWAII. 612 00:25:33,232 --> 00:25:34,476 HAWAII. FLYING TO HAWAII. OH, THEY WANT TO GET MARRIED, 613 00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:36,244 FLYING TO HAWAII. OH, THEY WANT TO GET MARRIED, BUT... OH! THEY CAN'T! 614 00:25:36,268 --> 00:25:37,479 OH, THEY WANT TO GET MARRIED, BUT... OH! THEY CAN'T! THEY CAN'T BECAUSE THE FATHER 615 00:25:37,503 --> 00:25:38,847 BUT... OH! THEY CAN'T! THEY CAN'T BECAUSE THE FATHER DOESN'T APPROVE OF THE MARRIAGE! 616 00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:40,215 THEY CAN'T BECAUSE THE FATHER DOESN'T APPROVE OF THE MARRIAGE! FINALLY, THE GUY GETS THE FATHER 617 00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:41,483 DOESN'T APPROVE OF THE MARRIAGE! FINALLY, THE GUY GETS THE FATHER TO LET HIM MARRY HIS DAUGHTER! 618 00:25:41,507 --> 00:25:43,719 FINALLY, THE GUY GETS THE FATHER TO LET HIM MARRY HIS DAUGHTER! THEN SUDDENLY THERE'S A WAR! 619 00:25:43,743 --> 00:25:45,020 TO LET HIM MARRY HIS DAUGHTER! THEN SUDDENLY THERE'S A WAR! [RECORD SCRATCHING] 620 00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:47,122 THEN SUDDENLY THERE'S A WAR! [RECORD SCRATCHING] WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 621 00:25:47,146 --> 00:25:48,056 [RECORD SCRATCHING] WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. AAH! 622 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:48,757 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. AAH! THERE'S A WAR! 623 00:25:48,781 --> 00:25:50,125 AAH! THERE'S A WAR! EVERYBODY'S GOT TO GO TO RUSSIA 624 00:25:50,149 --> 00:25:51,059 THERE'S A WAR! EVERYBODY'S GOT TO GO TO RUSSIA AND FIGHT THE ENEMY! 625 00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:52,293 EVERYBODY'S GOT TO GO TO RUSSIA AND FIGHT THE ENEMY! AH, THERE'S ALL KINDS OF BOMBERS 626 00:25:52,317 --> 00:25:52,861 AND FIGHT THE ENEMY! AH, THERE'S ALL KINDS OF BOMBERS THERE! 627 00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:54,930 AH, THERE'S ALL KINDS OF BOMBERS THERE! CKK! AAAH! AAH! 628 00:25:54,954 --> 00:25:56,832 THERE! CKK! AAAH! AAH! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! 629 00:25:56,856 --> 00:25:58,199 CKK! AAAH! AAH! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! JET PLANES AND ROCKETS! 630 00:25:58,223 --> 00:25:59,434 LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! JET PLANES AND ROCKETS! AAH! 631 00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:00,702 JET PLANES AND ROCKETS! AAH! LOOK OUT! 632 00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:01,469 AAH! LOOK OUT! [RECORD SCRATCHING] 633 00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:04,640 LOOK OUT! [RECORD SCRATCHING] AAH, JET PLANES, ROCKETS! 634 00:26:04,664 --> 00:26:05,941 [RECORD SCRATCHING] AAH, JET PLANES, ROCKETS! AND HERE, COSSACKS ARE COMING! 635 00:26:05,965 --> 00:26:07,308 AAH, JET PLANES, ROCKETS! AND HERE, COSSACKS ARE COMING! THE COSSACKS ARE COMING IN THE 636 00:26:07,332 --> 00:26:07,843 AND HERE, COSSACKS ARE COMING! THE COSSACKS ARE COMING IN THE HOUSE! 637 00:26:07,867 --> 00:26:09,244 THE COSSACKS ARE COMING IN THE HOUSE! LOOK OUT, THEY GOT KIRBY! 638 00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,346 HOUSE! LOOK OUT, THEY GOT KIRBY! THEY GOT KIRBY! 639 00:26:11,370 --> 00:26:12,480 LOOK OUT, THEY GOT KIRBY! THEY GOT KIRBY! MEDIC! 640 00:26:12,504 --> 00:26:12,981 THEY GOT KIRBY! MEDIC! MEDIC! 641 00:26:13,005 --> 00:26:13,749 MEDIC! MEDIC! LIEUTENANT! 642 00:26:13,773 --> 00:26:15,083 MEDIC! LIEUTENANT! I'LL SEE YOU IN BERLIN, YOU 643 00:26:15,107 --> 00:26:16,051 LIEUTENANT! I'LL SEE YOU IN BERLIN, YOU DIRTY KRAUT! 644 00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:17,553 I'LL SEE YOU IN BERLIN, YOU DIRTY KRAUT! YOU DIRTY KRAUT! 645 00:26:17,577 --> 00:26:19,577 DIRTY KRAUT! YOU DIRTY KRAUT! [INDISTINCT SCREAMING] 646 00:26:48,406 --> 00:26:51,853 Announcer: AND NOW "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH THE "WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM. 647 00:26:51,877 --> 00:26:53,922 "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH THE "WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM. HERE ARE JANE CURTIN AND 648 00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:56,058 "WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM. HERE ARE JANE CURTIN AND DON AYKROYD. 649 00:26:56,082 --> 00:26:58,093 HERE ARE JANE CURTIN AND DON AYKROYD. THAT'S DAN AYKROYD. 650 00:26:58,117 --> 00:26:59,861 DON AYKROYD. THAT'S DAN AYKROYD. Announcer: WHAT WAS THAT? 651 00:26:59,885 --> 00:27:01,029 THAT'S DAN AYKROYD. Announcer: WHAT WAS THAT? THAT'S DAN, DON. 652 00:27:01,053 --> 00:27:02,263 Announcer: WHAT WAS THAT? THAT'S DAN, DON. Announcer: I'M SORRY, DAN. 653 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:03,264 THAT'S DAN, DON. Announcer: I'M SORRY, DAN. IT MUST HAVE BEEN A 654 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:04,466 Announcer: I'M SORRY, DAN. IT MUST HAVE BEEN A TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR ON MY 655 00:27:04,490 --> 00:27:05,000 IT MUST HAVE BEEN A TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR ON MY SCRIPT. 656 00:27:05,024 --> 00:27:08,503 TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR ON MY SCRIPT. I BEG YOUR PARDO. 657 00:27:08,527 --> 00:27:09,938 SCRIPT. I BEG YOUR PARDO. THAT'S "PARDON." 658 00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:11,206 I BEG YOUR PARDO. THAT'S "PARDON." Announcer: OH, I'M SORRY! 659 00:27:11,230 --> 00:27:12,474 THAT'S "PARDON." Announcer: OH, I'M SORRY! IT MUST HAVE BEEN A 660 00:27:12,498 --> 00:27:13,709 Announcer: OH, I'M SORRY! IT MUST HAVE BEEN A TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR. 661 00:27:13,733 --> 00:27:16,211 IT MUST HAVE BEEN A TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR. THANK YOU, DON PARDO. 662 00:27:16,235 --> 00:27:17,545 TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR. THANK YOU, DON PARDO. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT, 663 00:27:17,569 --> 00:27:19,114 THANK YOU, DON PARDO. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT, PROFESSOR JOHN VAN VLECK OF 664 00:27:19,138 --> 00:27:20,682 OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT, PROFESSOR JOHN VAN VLECK OF HARVARD UNIVERSITY WON THE 665 00:27:20,706 --> 00:27:22,317 PROFESSOR JOHN VAN VLECK OF HARVARD UNIVERSITY WON THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS THIS 666 00:27:22,341 --> 00:27:22,985 HARVARD UNIVERSITY WON THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS THIS WEEK. 667 00:27:23,009 --> 00:27:24,319 NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS THIS WEEK. HE IS SHOWN HERE WITH HIS 668 00:27:24,343 --> 00:27:25,754 WEEK. HE IS SHOWN HERE WITH HIS INVENTION, A PARTY DOLL FOR 669 00:27:25,778 --> 00:27:27,555 HE IS SHOWN HERE WITH HIS INVENTION, A PARTY DOLL FOR OLDER MEN. 670 00:27:27,579 --> 00:27:31,181 INVENTION, A PARTY DOLL FOR OLDER MEN. CONGRATULATIONS, PROFESSOR. 671 00:27:31,449 --> 00:27:33,183 A TERRORIST GROUP CALLING 672 00:27:33,317 --> 00:27:35,285 THEMSELVES THE GAY BAKERS STRUCK 673 00:27:35,419 --> 00:27:37,220 AGAIN YESTERDAY, THIS TIME IN 674 00:27:37,355 --> 00:27:41,859 DES MOINES, IOWA. 675 00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,161 NOW WATCH THIS. 676 00:27:44,428 --> 00:27:52,347 ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS, AND... [LAUGHTER] NO, NO, LET HIM STAY. 677 00:27:52,371 --> 00:27:53,782 [LAUGHTER] NO, NO, LET HIM STAY. LET HIM STAY. 678 00:27:53,806 --> 00:27:54,883 NO, NO, LET HIM STAY. LET HIM STAY. WELL, AT LEAST IT'S A FRUIT 679 00:27:54,907 --> 00:27:57,485 LET HIM STAY. WELL, AT LEAST IT'S A FRUIT PIE. 680 00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:59,387 WELL, AT LEAST IT'S A FRUIT PIE. FORTUNATELY, MISS BRYANT, WHO 681 00:27:59,411 --> 00:28:01,256 PIE. FORTUNATELY, MISS BRYANT, WHO WAS NOT INJURED, ENJOYED A GOOD 682 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,025 FORTUNATELY, MISS BRYANT, WHO WAS NOT INJURED, ENJOYED A GOOD LAUGH AND SAID IT WAS OKAY IF 683 00:28:03,049 --> 00:28:07,395 WAS NOT INJURED, ENJOYED A GOOD LAUGH AND SAID IT WAS OKAY IF THE ASSAILANT DATED HER HUSBAND. 684 00:28:07,419 --> 00:28:09,164 LAUGH AND SAID IT WAS OKAY IF THE ASSAILANT DATED HER HUSBAND. THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF 685 00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:11,033 THE ASSAILANT DATED HER HUSBAND. THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF BROADCASTERS, BETTER KNOWN AS 686 00:28:11,057 --> 00:28:13,368 THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF BROADCASTERS, BETTER KNOWN AS THE N.A.B., HAS ISSUED REVISED 687 00:28:13,392 --> 00:28:15,236 BROADCASTERS, BETTER KNOWN AS THE N.A.B., HAS ISSUED REVISED GUIDELINES FOR LAXATIVE 688 00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:16,938 THE N.A.B., HAS ISSUED REVISED GUIDELINES FOR LAXATIVE COMMERCIALS ON TELEVISION, 689 00:28:16,962 --> 00:28:18,106 GUIDELINES FOR LAXATIVE COMMERCIALS ON TELEVISION, STATING, "GRAPHIC 690 00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:19,875 COMMERCIALS ON TELEVISION, STATING, "GRAPHIC REPRESENTATIONS OF SYMPTOMS 691 00:28:19,899 --> 00:28:21,710 STATING, "GRAPHIC REPRESENTATIONS OF SYMPTOMS AND/OR PRODUCT MECHANIC SHALL 692 00:28:21,734 --> 00:28:22,911 REPRESENTATIONS OF SYMPTOMS AND/OR PRODUCT MECHANIC SHALL NOT BE PERMITTED. 693 00:28:22,935 --> 00:28:25,080 AND/OR PRODUCT MECHANIC SHALL NOT BE PERMITTED. FOR EXAMPLE, RAIN, RIVERS, 694 00:28:25,104 --> 00:28:27,149 NOT BE PERMITTED. FOR EXAMPLE, RAIN, RIVERS, GELATIN, CONCRETE BLOCKS, 695 00:28:27,173 --> 00:28:28,684 FOR EXAMPLE, RAIN, RIVERS, GELATIN, CONCRETE BLOCKS, ET CETERA." 696 00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:30,451 GELATIN, CONCRETE BLOCKS, ET CETERA." THE LAXATIVE INDUSTRY'S 697 00:28:30,475 --> 00:28:32,020 ET CETERA." THE LAXATIVE INDUSTRY'S DELEGATION OF UNITED 698 00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:34,122 THE LAXATIVE INDUSTRY'S DELEGATION OF UNITED MANUFACTURERS AND PRODUCERS, 699 00:28:34,146 --> 00:28:35,957 DELEGATION OF UNITED MANUFACTURERS AND PRODUCERS, BETTER KNOWN AS D.U.M.P., ISSUED 700 00:28:35,981 --> 00:28:37,458 MANUFACTURERS AND PRODUCERS, BETTER KNOWN AS D.U.M.P., ISSUED A REPLY, SAYING, "WE HAVE 701 00:28:37,482 --> 00:28:39,061 BETTER KNOWN AS D.U.M.P., ISSUED A REPLY, SAYING, "WE HAVE RECEIVED THE GUIDELINES AND 702 00:28:39,085 --> 00:28:40,796 A REPLY, SAYING, "WE HAVE RECEIVED THE GUIDELINES AND SHALL DRAW OUR CONCLUSIONS, AS 703 00:28:40,820 --> 00:28:42,530 RECEIVED THE GUIDELINES AND SHALL DRAW OUR CONCLUSIONS, AS WE USUALLY DO, BY A PROCESS OF 704 00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:45,867 SHALL DRAW OUR CONCLUSIONS, AS WE USUALLY DO, BY A PROCESS OF ELIMINATION." 705 00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:46,735 WE USUALLY DO, BY A PROCESS OF ELIMINATION." DODGERS FAN 706 00:28:46,759 --> 00:28:48,236 ELIMINATION." DODGERS FAN MISS LILLIAN CARTER THIS WEEK 707 00:28:48,260 --> 00:28:49,838 DODGERS FAN MISS LILLIAN CARTER THIS WEEK TOLD THE LOS ANGELES TIMES THAT 708 00:28:49,862 --> 00:28:50,972 MISS LILLIAN CARTER THIS WEEK TOLD THE LOS ANGELES TIMES THAT SHE DOESN'T LIKE ABC 709 00:28:50,996 --> 00:28:52,607 TOLD THE LOS ANGELES TIMES THAT SHE DOESN'T LIKE ABC SPORTSCASTER HOWARD COSELL, 710 00:28:52,631 --> 00:28:54,275 SHE DOESN'T LIKE ABC SPORTSCASTER HOWARD COSELL, SAYING, "I DON'T WANT HIM TO 711 00:28:54,299 --> 00:28:56,111 SPORTSCASTER HOWARD COSELL, SAYING, "I DON'T WANT HIM TO DIE, BUT I WISH THEY'D TAKE HIM 712 00:28:56,135 --> 00:28:58,446 SAYING, "I DON'T WANT HIM TO DIE, BUT I WISH THEY'D TAKE HIM OFF THE AIR." 713 00:28:58,470 --> 00:28:59,781 DIE, BUT I WISH THEY'D TAKE HIM OFF THE AIR." COSELL, RESPONDING TO THE 714 00:28:59,805 --> 00:29:01,183 OFF THE AIR." COSELL, RESPONDING TO THE REMARKS OF THE 79-YEAR-OLD 715 00:29:01,207 --> 00:29:02,784 COSELL, RESPONDING TO THE REMARKS OF THE 79-YEAR-OLD PRESIDENTIAL MOTHER, REPORTEDLY 716 00:29:02,808 --> 00:29:04,186 REMARKS OF THE 79-YEAR-OLD PRESIDENTIAL MOTHER, REPORTEDLY SAID, "I HAVE NO ANIMOSITY 717 00:29:04,210 --> 00:29:06,088 PRESIDENTIAL MOTHER, REPORTEDLY SAID, "I HAVE NO ANIMOSITY TOWARDS MISS LILLIAN, AND I HOPE 718 00:29:06,112 --> 00:29:08,323 SAID, "I HAVE NO ANIMOSITY TOWARDS MISS LILLIAN, AND I HOPE SHE LIVES TO BE 80." 719 00:29:08,347 --> 00:29:09,891 TOWARDS MISS LILLIAN, AND I HOPE SHE LIVES TO BE 80." ON THE STUDIO FLOOR, AND 720 00:29:09,915 --> 00:29:11,659 SHE LIVES TO BE 80." ON THE STUDIO FLOOR, AND THIS IS THE "UPDATE" SET IN 721 00:29:11,683 --> 00:29:12,994 ON THE STUDIO FLOOR, AND THIS IS THE "UPDATE" SET IN STUDIO 8H, WHERE 722 00:29:13,018 --> 00:29:14,863 THIS IS THE "UPDATE" SET IN STUDIO 8H, WHERE "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" IS 723 00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:17,232 STUDIO 8H, WHERE "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" IS PRODUCED EVERY SATURDAY EVENING. 724 00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:18,466 "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" IS PRODUCED EVERY SATURDAY EVENING. CHROMA-KEY AREA. 725 00:29:18,490 --> 00:29:19,701 PRODUCED EVERY SATURDAY EVENING. CHROMA-KEY AREA. THERE'S DAN AYKROYD AND 726 00:29:19,725 --> 00:29:20,435 CHROMA-KEY AREA. THERE'S DAN AYKROYD AND JANE CURTIN. 727 00:29:20,459 --> 00:29:21,469 THERE'S DAN AYKROYD AND JANE CURTIN. WHERE'S CHEVY? 728 00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:22,303 JANE CURTIN. WHERE'S CHEVY? I'M SORRY. 729 00:29:22,327 --> 00:29:23,905 WHERE'S CHEVY? I'M SORRY. CHEVY IS NO LONGER WITH THE 730 00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:24,505 I'M SORRY. CHEVY IS NO LONGER WITH THE SHOW. 731 00:29:24,529 --> 00:29:26,208 CHEVY IS NO LONGER WITH THE SHOW. YOU'LL COME THIS WAY, AND WE'LL 732 00:29:26,232 --> 00:29:27,876 SHOW. YOU'LL COME THIS WAY, AND WE'LL SEE THE RECORDING STUDIO 733 00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:30,612 YOU'LL COME THIS WAY, AND WE'LL SEE THE RECORDING STUDIO WHERE... 734 00:29:30,636 --> 00:29:31,747 SEE THE RECORDING STUDIO WHERE... CONTROL... YEAH, THEY JUST 735 00:29:31,771 --> 00:29:32,781 WHERE... CONTROL... YEAH, THEY JUST BROUGHT A TOUR THROUGH THE 736 00:29:32,805 --> 00:29:34,349 CONTROL... YEAH, THEY JUST BROUGHT A TOUR THROUGH THE "UPDATE" SET. 737 00:29:34,373 --> 00:29:35,450 BROUGHT A TOUR THROUGH THE "UPDATE" SET. OH, THAT'S GONNA BE NORMAL 738 00:29:35,474 --> 00:29:36,017 "UPDATE" SET. OH, THAT'S GONNA BE NORMAL PROCEDURE? 739 00:29:36,041 --> 00:29:37,385 OH, THAT'S GONNA BE NORMAL PROCEDURE? OH, OKAY. 740 00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:41,322 PROCEDURE? OH, OKAY. I DON'T KNOW. 741 00:29:41,346 --> 00:29:42,824 OH, OKAY. I DON'T KNOW. [CLEARS THROAT] 742 00:29:42,848 --> 00:29:44,226 I DON'T KNOW. [CLEARS THROAT] WITH THE DISCOVERY OF STILL 743 00:29:44,250 --> 00:29:45,727 [CLEARS THROAT] WITH THE DISCOVERY OF STILL ANOTHER DIAMOND DEALER'S BODY 744 00:29:45,751 --> 00:29:47,229 WITH THE DISCOVERY OF STILL ANOTHER DIAMOND DEALER'S BODY THIS WEEK IN PUERTO RICO, THE 745 00:29:47,253 --> 00:29:48,663 ANOTHER DIAMOND DEALER'S BODY THIS WEEK IN PUERTO RICO, THE COUNT IS NOW AT AT LEAST SIX 746 00:29:48,687 --> 00:29:50,065 THIS WEEK IN PUERTO RICO, THE COUNT IS NOW AT AT LEAST SIX MURDERS OF DIAMOND DEALERS WITH 747 00:29:50,089 --> 00:29:51,599 COUNT IS NOW AT AT LEAST SIX MURDERS OF DIAMOND DEALERS WITH MORE DISCOVERIES ANTICIPATED. 748 00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:53,301 MURDERS OF DIAMOND DEALERS WITH MORE DISCOVERIES ANTICIPATED. AUTHORITIES WITH FEW CLUES TO GO 749 00:29:53,325 --> 00:29:54,803 MORE DISCOVERIES ANTICIPATED. AUTHORITIES WITH FEW CLUES TO GO ON ARE NOW CONFRONTED BY THE 750 00:29:54,827 --> 00:29:56,104 AUTHORITIES WITH FEW CLUES TO GO ON ARE NOW CONFRONTED BY THE POSSIBILITY OF A MOTIVE. 751 00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:59,941 ON ARE NOW CONFRONTED BY THE POSSIBILITY OF A MOTIVE. THEY'RE CALLING IT GEMICIDE. 752 00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:01,542 POSSIBILITY OF A MOTIVE. THEY'RE CALLING IT GEMICIDE. THIS WEEK, THE SUPREME COURT 753 00:30:01,566 --> 00:30:03,278 THEY'RE CALLING IT GEMICIDE. THIS WEEK, THE SUPREME COURT UPHELD CONGRESS' BAN ON THE USE 754 00:30:03,302 --> 00:30:05,247 THIS WEEK, THE SUPREME COURT UPHELD CONGRESS' BAN ON THE USE OF MEDICAID MONEY FOR ABORTIONS. 755 00:30:05,271 --> 00:30:06,848 UPHELD CONGRESS' BAN ON THE USE OF MEDICAID MONEY FOR ABORTIONS. THE COURT RULED THAT A FETUS 756 00:30:06,872 --> 00:30:08,516 OF MEDICAID MONEY FOR ABORTIONS. THE COURT RULED THAT A FETUS BECOMES A HUMAN BEING AT THREE 757 00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:10,018 THE COURT RULED THAT A FETUS BECOMES A HUMAN BEING AT THREE MONTHS IF THE PARENTS EARN 758 00:30:10,042 --> 00:30:13,321 BECOMES A HUMAN BEING AT THREE MONTHS IF THE PARENTS EARN $15,000 OR MORE A YEAR AND AT 759 00:30:13,345 --> 00:30:14,956 MONTHS IF THE PARENTS EARN $15,000 OR MORE A YEAR AND AT ONE MONTH IF THE PARENTS EARN 760 00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:19,360 $15,000 OR MORE A YEAR AND AT ONE MONTH IF THE PARENTS EARN LESS. 761 00:30:19,384 --> 00:30:21,897 ONE MONTH IF THE PARENTS EARN LESS. NADIA COMANECI, THE 15-YEAR-OLD 762 00:30:21,921 --> 00:30:24,232 LESS. NADIA COMANECI, THE 15-YEAR-OLD DARLING OF THE 1976 OLYMPICS, 763 00:30:24,256 --> 00:30:26,768 NADIA COMANECI, THE 15-YEAR-OLD DARLING OF THE 1976 OLYMPICS, HAS JUST BEGUN A 60-CITY TOUR OF 764 00:30:26,792 --> 00:30:28,336 DARLING OF THE 1976 OLYMPICS, HAS JUST BEGUN A 60-CITY TOUR OF THE UNITED STATES, AND, FRANKLY, 765 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:29,504 HAS JUST BEGUN A 60-CITY TOUR OF THE UNITED STATES, AND, FRANKLY, I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. 766 00:30:29,528 --> 00:30:31,072 THE UNITED STATES, AND, FRANKLY, I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. SHE'S LIKE POETRY IN MOTION. 767 00:30:31,096 --> 00:30:32,841 I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. SHE'S LIKE POETRY IN MOTION. AND WE HAVE THIS FOOTAGE FOR YOU 768 00:30:32,865 --> 00:30:34,209 SHE'S LIKE POETRY IN MOTION. AND WE HAVE THIS FOOTAGE FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. 769 00:30:34,233 --> 00:30:36,833 AND WE HAVE THIS FOOTAGE FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS] 770 00:30:52,516 --> 00:31:00,516 HI! I'M NADIA COMANECI! AREN'T I CUTE? PLEASE, COME SEE ME PERFORM ALL 771 00:31:04,163 --> 00:31:06,041 AREN'T I CUTE? PLEASE, COME SEE ME PERFORM ALL OVER THIS COUNTRY WHEN I COME TO 772 00:31:06,065 --> 00:31:06,975 PLEASE, COME SEE ME PERFORM ALL OVER THIS COUNTRY WHEN I COME TO YOUR CITY! 773 00:31:06,999 --> 00:31:09,845 OVER THIS COUNTRY WHEN I COME TO YOUR CITY! I'M ONLY 15 YEARS OLD NOW, BUT 774 00:31:09,869 --> 00:31:11,479 YOUR CITY! I'M ONLY 15 YEARS OLD NOW, BUT I HAVE TO MAKE ALL THE MONEY I 775 00:31:11,503 --> 00:31:13,481 I'M ONLY 15 YEARS OLD NOW, BUT I HAVE TO MAKE ALL THE MONEY I CAN BECAUSE I WON'T BE CUTE 776 00:31:13,505 --> 00:31:15,116 I HAVE TO MAKE ALL THE MONEY I CAN BECAUSE I WON'T BE CUTE FOREVER. 777 00:31:15,140 --> 00:31:17,219 CAN BECAUSE I WON'T BE CUTE FOREVER. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, I'LL GROW UP 778 00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:19,221 FOREVER. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, I'LL GROW UP TO BE A BIG, FAT ROMANIAN WOMAN 779 00:31:19,245 --> 00:31:21,256 BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, I'LL GROW UP TO BE A BIG, FAT ROMANIAN WOMAN WITH FAT THIGHS AND A MUSTACHE 780 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:26,294 TO BE A BIG, FAT ROMANIAN WOMAN WITH FAT THIGHS AND A MUSTACHE LIKE MY MOTHER! 781 00:31:26,318 --> 00:31:29,397 WITH FAT THIGHS AND A MUSTACHE LIKE MY MOTHER! WE DON'T AGE SO GOOD. 782 00:31:29,421 --> 00:31:30,832 LIKE MY MOTHER! WE DON'T AGE SO GOOD. SO WHO'S GONNA WANT TO SEE ME 783 00:31:30,856 --> 00:31:31,466 WE DON'T AGE SO GOOD. SO WHO'S GONNA WANT TO SEE ME THEN? 784 00:31:31,490 --> 00:31:33,101 SO WHO'S GONNA WANT TO SEE ME THEN? IT'S SO HARD TO DO GYMNASTICS 785 00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:34,569 THEN? IT'S SO HARD TO DO GYMNASTICS WHILE YOU'RE ARGUING WITH 786 00:31:34,593 --> 00:31:35,770 IT'S SO HARD TO DO GYMNASTICS WHILE YOU'RE ARGUING WITH STOREKEEPERS. 787 00:31:35,794 --> 00:31:37,973 WHILE YOU'RE ARGUING WITH STOREKEEPERS. [CHUCKLES] 788 00:31:37,997 --> 00:31:41,076 STOREKEEPERS. [CHUCKLES] SO, SEE ME NOW WHILE I'M STILL 789 00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:42,310 [CHUCKLES] SO, SEE ME NOW WHILE I'M STILL DARLING! 790 00:31:42,334 --> 00:31:50,334 SO, SEE ME NOW WHILE I'M STILL DARLING! BYE! 791 00:31:51,310 --> 00:31:52,921 DARLING! BYE! YOU KNOW, JANE, SHE IS SO 792 00:31:52,945 --> 00:31:54,222 BYE! YOU KNOW, JANE, SHE IS SO CUTE, THAT GIRL. 793 00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:55,790 YOU KNOW, JANE, SHE IS SO CUTE, THAT GIRL. SHE SURE IS. 794 00:31:55,814 --> 00:31:57,292 CUTE, THAT GIRL. SHE SURE IS. BUT I THOUGHT HER PARALLEL 795 00:31:57,316 --> 00:31:58,860 SHE SURE IS. BUT I THOUGHT HER PARALLEL BARS... THE PARALLEL BARS WERE 796 00:31:58,884 --> 00:32:00,161 BUT I THOUGHT HER PARALLEL BARS... THE PARALLEL BARS WERE HER FIRST LOVE. 797 00:32:00,185 --> 00:32:01,096 BARS... THE PARALLEL BARS WERE HER FIRST LOVE. MINE, TOO. 798 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:02,597 HER FIRST LOVE. MINE, TOO. A LOT OF US GIRLS WHO TOOK GYM 799 00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:03,899 MINE, TOO. A LOT OF US GIRLS WHO TOOK GYM CLASS LOST IT TO THE PARALLEL 800 00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:09,037 A LOT OF US GIRLS WHO TOOK GYM CLASS LOST IT TO THE PARALLEL BARS. 801 00:32:09,061 --> 00:32:10,772 CLASS LOST IT TO THE PARALLEL BARS. THE CALHOUN NATIONAL BANK IN 802 00:32:10,796 --> 00:32:12,440 BARS. THE CALHOUN NATIONAL BANK IN GEORGIA HAS CONSTRUCTED A NEW 803 00:32:12,464 --> 00:32:13,875 THE CALHOUN NATIONAL BANK IN GEORGIA HAS CONSTRUCTED A NEW OFFICE FOR RETURNING BANK 804 00:32:13,899 --> 00:32:15,610 GEORGIA HAS CONSTRUCTED A NEW OFFICE FOR RETURNING BANK EXECUTIVE BURT LANCE FOLLOWING 805 00:32:15,634 --> 00:32:16,945 OFFICE FOR RETURNING BANK EXECUTIVE BURT LANCE FOLLOWING LANCE'S REQUEST THAT HE BE 806 00:32:16,969 --> 00:32:18,479 EXECUTIVE BURT LANCE FOLLOWING LANCE'S REQUEST THAT HE BE ALLOWED TO START ALL OVER AGAIN 807 00:32:18,503 --> 00:32:21,883 LANCE'S REQUEST THAT HE BE ALLOWED TO START ALL OVER AGAIN AT THE BOTTOM. 808 00:32:21,907 --> 00:32:23,751 ALLOWED TO START ALL OVER AGAIN AT THE BOTTOM. WELL, THE WORLD SERIES OPENED 809 00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:25,620 AT THE BOTTOM. WELL, THE WORLD SERIES OPENED THIS WEEK, AND AFTER FOUR GAMES, 810 00:32:25,644 --> 00:32:27,255 WELL, THE WORLD SERIES OPENED THIS WEEK, AND AFTER FOUR GAMES, THE YANKS ARE LEADING THREE 811 00:32:27,279 --> 00:32:28,823 THIS WEEK, AND AFTER FOUR GAMES, THE YANKS ARE LEADING THREE GAMES TO ONE. 812 00:32:28,847 --> 00:32:34,963 THE YANKS ARE LEADING THREE GAMES TO ONE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 813 00:32:34,987 --> 00:32:36,697 GAMES TO ONE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] TOMORROW THEY'LL PLAY THE FIFTH 814 00:32:36,721 --> 00:32:38,233 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] TOMORROW THEY'LL PLAY THE FIFTH GAME AT DODGER STADIUM WITH 815 00:32:38,257 --> 00:32:39,634 TOMORROW THEY'LL PLAY THE FIFTH GAME AT DODGER STADIUM WITH ETHEL MERMAN SINGING THE 816 00:32:39,658 --> 00:32:41,869 GAME AT DODGER STADIUM WITH ETHEL MERMAN SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM BEFORE THE GAME. 817 00:32:41,893 --> 00:32:43,338 ETHEL MERMAN SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM BEFORE THE GAME. THE YANKS HAVE SURPRISED A LOT 818 00:32:43,362 --> 00:32:44,839 NATIONAL ANTHEM BEFORE THE GAME. THE YANKS HAVE SURPRISED A LOT OF SKEPTICS WITH THEIR PITCHING 819 00:32:44,863 --> 00:32:46,274 THE YANKS HAVE SURPRISED A LOT OF SKEPTICS WITH THEIR PITCHING DESPITE THE FACT THAT MOST OF 820 00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:47,608 OF SKEPTICS WITH THEIR PITCHING DESPITE THE FACT THAT MOST OF THEIR PITCHERS ARE INJURED. 821 00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:49,110 DESPITE THE FACT THAT MOST OF THEIR PITCHERS ARE INJURED. BUT AS INSURANCE IN THE EVENT 822 00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:50,678 THEIR PITCHERS ARE INJURED. BUT AS INSURANCE IN THE EVENT THAT THE SERIES DOES GO A FULL 823 00:32:50,702 --> 00:32:52,113 BUT AS INSURANCE IN THE EVENT THAT THE SERIES DOES GO A FULL SEVEN GAMES, THE YANKS HAVE 824 00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:53,714 THAT THE SERIES DOES GO A FULL SEVEN GAMES, THE YANKS HAVE ANNOUNCED THE SIGNING OF FORMER 825 00:32:53,738 --> 00:32:56,818 SEVEN GAMES, THE YANKS HAVE ANNOUNCED THE SIGNING OF FORMER ST. LOUIS CARDINAL DIZZY DEAN. 826 00:32:56,842 --> 00:32:58,320 ANNOUNCED THE SIGNING OF FORMER ST. LOUIS CARDINAL DIZZY DEAN. DESPITE THE FACT THAT DEAN HAS 827 00:32:58,344 --> 00:32:59,620 ST. LOUIS CARDINAL DIZZY DEAN. DESPITE THE FACT THAT DEAN HAS BEEN DEAD FOR THE PAST TWO 828 00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:00,956 DESPITE THE FACT THAT DEAN HAS BEEN DEAD FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS, THE YANKEE BRASS IS 829 00:33:00,980 --> 00:33:02,490 BEEN DEAD FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS, THE YANKEE BRASS IS CONFIDENT THAT HE'LL STILL FARE 830 00:33:02,514 --> 00:33:06,227 YEARS, THE YANKEE BRASS IS CONFIDENT THAT HE'LL STILL FARE BETTER THAN CATFISH HUNTER. 831 00:33:06,251 --> 00:33:07,662 CONFIDENT THAT HE'LL STILL FARE BETTER THAN CATFISH HUNTER. I'M SURE DIZZY WILL BOUNCE 832 00:33:07,686 --> 00:33:08,430 BETTER THAN CATFISH HUNTER. I'M SURE DIZZY WILL BOUNCE BACK THERE. 833 00:33:08,454 --> 00:33:09,897 I'M SURE DIZZY WILL BOUNCE BACK THERE. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 834 00:33:09,921 --> 00:33:11,632 BACK THERE. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? WE HAVE A BULLETIN COMING IN ON 835 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:13,101 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? WE HAVE A BULLETIN COMING IN ON THE NBC DANCING "N." 836 00:33:13,125 --> 00:33:14,569 WE HAVE A BULLETIN COMING IN ON THE NBC DANCING "N." THIS IS THE NBC NEWS UPDATE 837 00:33:14,593 --> 00:33:15,337 THE NBC DANCING "N." THIS IS THE NBC NEWS UPDATE DANCING "N." 838 00:33:15,361 --> 00:33:17,472 THIS IS THE NBC NEWS UPDATE DANCING "N." IF I CAN... 839 00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:20,608 DANCING "N." IF I CAN... JUST... 840 00:33:20,632 --> 00:33:25,680 IF I CAN... JUST... [APPLAUSE] 841 00:33:25,704 --> 00:33:26,881 JUST... [APPLAUSE] THIS JUST IN FROM YOUR 842 00:33:26,905 --> 00:33:27,915 [APPLAUSE] THIS JUST IN FROM YOUR NATIONAL DRUG ABUSE 843 00:33:27,939 --> 00:33:29,317 THIS JUST IN FROM YOUR NATIONAL DRUG ABUSE ASSOCIATION... "COCAINE AND 844 00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:30,585 NATIONAL DRUG ABUSE ASSOCIATION... "COCAINE AND HEROIN DO NOT MIX. 845 00:33:30,609 --> 00:33:38,126 ASSOCIATION... "COCAINE AND HEROIN DO NOT MIX. IF YOU MUST SNORT, DON'T SHOOT." 846 00:33:38,150 --> 00:33:39,861 HEROIN DO NOT MIX. IF YOU MUST SNORT, DON'T SHOOT." WELL, TONIGHT, WE'RE PROUD TO 847 00:33:39,885 --> 00:33:41,529 IF YOU MUST SNORT, DON'T SHOOT." WELL, TONIGHT, WE'RE PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT TONIGHT'S SHOW IS 848 00:33:41,553 --> 00:33:43,198 WELL, TONIGHT, WE'RE PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT TONIGHT'S SHOW IS THE FIRST "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" 849 00:33:43,222 --> 00:33:44,866 ANNOUNCE THAT TONIGHT'S SHOW IS THE FIRST "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" TO BE BROADCAST OVERSEAS TO THE 850 00:33:44,890 --> 00:33:46,701 THE FIRST "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" TO BE BROADCAST OVERSEAS TO THE ARMED FORCES NETWORK, AND WE'D 851 00:33:46,725 --> 00:33:48,503 TO BE BROADCAST OVERSEAS TO THE ARMED FORCES NETWORK, AND WE'D LIKE TO WELCOME SOME 1 MILLION 852 00:33:48,527 --> 00:33:50,138 ARMED FORCES NETWORK, AND WE'D LIKE TO WELCOME SOME 1 MILLION MILITARY PERSONNEL WHO ARE 853 00:33:50,162 --> 00:33:51,906 LIKE TO WELCOME SOME 1 MILLION MILITARY PERSONNEL WHO ARE WATCHING "WEEKEND UPDATE" FOR 854 00:33:51,930 --> 00:33:53,741 MILITARY PERSONNEL WHO ARE WATCHING "WEEKEND UPDATE" FOR THE FIRST TIME. 855 00:33:53,765 --> 00:33:57,045 WATCHING "WEEKEND UPDATE" FOR THE FIRST TIME. UH... 856 00:33:57,069 --> 00:33:59,180 THE FIRST TIME. UH... THIS JUST IN... WE'RE AT WAR. 857 00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:00,548 UH... THIS JUST IN... WE'RE AT WAR. ARMY PERSONNEL, TURN OFF YOUR 858 00:34:00,572 --> 00:34:02,050 THIS JUST IN... WE'RE AT WAR. ARMY PERSONNEL, TURN OFF YOUR SETS AND DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED 859 00:34:02,074 --> 00:34:02,917 ARMY PERSONNEL, TURN OFF YOUR SETS AND DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO. 860 00:34:02,941 --> 00:34:03,985 SETS AND DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO. JUST KIDDING! 861 00:34:04,009 --> 00:34:05,887 TO DO. JUST KIDDING! GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT 862 00:34:05,911 --> 00:34:09,391 JUST KIDDING! GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. 863 00:34:09,415 --> 00:34:10,591 GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. Announcer: "WEEKEND UPDATE" 864 00:34:10,615 --> 00:34:11,692 TOMORROW. Announcer: "WEEKEND UPDATE" IS A PRESENTATION OF 865 00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:13,061 Announcer: "WEEKEND UPDATE" IS A PRESENTATION OF "SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS," KEEPING 866 00:34:13,085 --> 00:34:14,862 IS A PRESENTATION OF "SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS," KEEPING AMERICA INFORMED FOR OVER A 867 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:18,046 "SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS," KEEPING AMERICA INFORMED FOR OVER A FIFTIETH OF A CENTURY. 868 00:34:21,526 --> 00:34:26,574 Announcer: WELCOME TO "THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA," AND HERE'S YOUR HOST, NOTED SEX 869 00:34:26,598 --> 00:34:30,345 "THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA," AND HERE'S YOUR HOST, NOTED SEX AUTHORITY HUGH HEFNER. 870 00:34:30,369 --> 00:34:31,846 AND HERE'S YOUR HOST, NOTED SEX AUTHORITY HUGH HEFNER. OH, HELLO. 871 00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:33,381 AUTHORITY HUGH HEFNER. OH, HELLO. I'M NOTED SEX AUTHORITY 872 00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:34,582 OH, HELLO. I'M NOTED SEX AUTHORITY HUGH HEFNER. 873 00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:36,584 I'M NOTED SEX AUTHORITY HUGH HEFNER. WELCOME TO "THE HISTORY OF SEX 874 00:34:36,608 --> 00:34:37,919 HUGH HEFNER. WELCOME TO "THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA." 875 00:34:37,943 --> 00:34:38,920 WELCOME TO "THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA." AS YOU KNOW, ON 876 00:34:38,944 --> 00:34:40,422 IN CINEMA." AS YOU KNOW, ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," ONE CAN 877 00:34:40,446 --> 00:34:41,889 AS YOU KNOW, ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," ONE CAN SAY ANYTHING ONE LIKES. 878 00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:45,126 "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," ONE CAN SAY ANYTHING ONE LIKES. FOR EXAMPLE, THE WORD "PENIS." 879 00:34:45,150 --> 00:34:46,961 SAY ANYTHING ONE LIKES. FOR EXAMPLE, THE WORD "PENIS." HOWEVER, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN 880 00:34:46,985 --> 00:34:48,596 FOR EXAMPLE, THE WORD "PENIS." HOWEVER, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN AMERICAN ENTERTAINMENT WAS 881 00:34:48,620 --> 00:34:50,065 HOWEVER, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN AMERICAN ENTERTAINMENT WAS CENSORED BY PURITANICAL 882 00:34:50,089 --> 00:34:50,965 AMERICAN ENTERTAINMENT WAS CENSORED BY PURITANICAL MORALITY. 883 00:34:50,989 --> 00:34:52,767 CENSORED BY PURITANICAL MORALITY. IN THE 1930s AND '40s, THE HAYS 884 00:34:52,791 --> 00:34:54,436 MORALITY. IN THE 1930s AND '40s, THE HAYS OFFICE PLACED RESTRICTIONS ON 885 00:34:54,460 --> 00:34:56,404 IN THE 1930s AND '40s, THE HAYS OFFICE PLACED RESTRICTIONS ON MOTION PICTURES WITH A STRICT 886 00:34:56,428 --> 00:34:58,039 OFFICE PLACED RESTRICTIONS ON MOTION PICTURES WITH A STRICT CODE OF STANDARDS. 887 00:34:58,063 --> 00:34:59,474 MOTION PICTURES WITH A STRICT CODE OF STANDARDS. NOW, ONE RULE OF THE HAYS CODE 888 00:34:59,498 --> 00:35:00,975 CODE OF STANDARDS. NOW, ONE RULE OF THE HAYS CODE STATED THAT IF A MAN AND A WOMAN 889 00:35:00,999 --> 00:35:02,944 NOW, ONE RULE OF THE HAYS CODE STATED THAT IF A MAN AND A WOMAN APPEARED ON A BED TOGETHER, AT 890 00:35:02,968 --> 00:35:04,645 STATED THAT IF A MAN AND A WOMAN APPEARED ON A BED TOGETHER, AT LEAST ONE OF THEIR FOUR FEET 891 00:35:04,669 --> 00:35:06,881 APPEARED ON A BED TOGETHER, AT LEAST ONE OF THEIR FOUR FEET MUST REMAIN ON THE FLOOR. 892 00:35:06,905 --> 00:35:08,383 LEAST ONE OF THEIR FOUR FEET MUST REMAIN ON THE FLOOR. TONIGHT, WE PRESENT THE FINAL 893 00:35:08,407 --> 00:35:09,517 MUST REMAIN ON THE FLOOR. TONIGHT, WE PRESENT THE FINAL SCENE FROM 894 00:35:09,541 --> 00:35:11,152 TONIGHT, WE PRESENT THE FINAL SCENE FROM "THE FIRST MRS. KIMBLE," A 895 00:35:11,176 --> 00:35:12,954 SCENE FROM "THE FIRST MRS. KIMBLE," A SCREWBALL COMEDY STARRING THE 896 00:35:12,978 --> 00:35:14,722 "THE FIRST MRS. KIMBLE," A SCREWBALL COMEDY STARRING THE DASHING YOUNG CARY GRANT AND 897 00:35:14,746 --> 00:35:16,524 SCREWBALL COMEDY STARRING THE DASHING YOUNG CARY GRANT AND IRREPRESSIBLE KATHERINE HEPBURN. 898 00:35:16,548 --> 00:35:18,025 DASHING YOUNG CARY GRANT AND IRREPRESSIBLE KATHERINE HEPBURN. NOW, EVEN THOUGH THE SCENE 899 00:35:18,049 --> 00:35:19,694 IRREPRESSIBLE KATHERINE HEPBURN. NOW, EVEN THOUGH THE SCENE TECHNICALLY STAYED WITHIN THE 900 00:35:19,718 --> 00:35:21,429 NOW, EVEN THOUGH THE SCENE TECHNICALLY STAYED WITHIN THE LETTER OF THIS "ONE FOOT ON THE 901 00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:23,565 TECHNICALLY STAYED WITHIN THE LETTER OF THIS "ONE FOOT ON THE FLOOR" RULE, IT NEVERTHELESS 902 00:35:23,589 --> 00:35:25,533 LETTER OF THIS "ONE FOOT ON THE FLOOR" RULE, IT NEVERTHELESS VIOLATED THE RULE'S INTENT AND 903 00:35:25,557 --> 00:35:27,535 FLOOR" RULE, IT NEVERTHELESS VIOLATED THE RULE'S INTENT AND WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE SEEN IN 904 00:35:27,559 --> 00:35:28,769 VIOLATED THE RULE'S INTENT AND WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE SEEN IN AMERICA. 905 00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:31,273 WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE SEEN IN AMERICA. THAT IS, UNTIL TONIGHT. 906 00:35:38,469 --> 00:35:43,218 BUT, JUDY, I CAN'T GO TO THE LAWYER'S OFFICE IN THIS! I LOOK RIDICULOUS! 907 00:35:43,242 --> 00:35:45,786 LAWYER'S OFFICE IN THIS! I LOOK RIDICULOUS! I THINK YOU LOOK RATHER CUTE. 908 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:47,755 I LOOK RIDICULOUS! I THINK YOU LOOK RATHER CUTE. WELL, GO BACK TO THE LAUNDRY 909 00:35:47,779 --> 00:35:49,591 I THINK YOU LOOK RATHER CUTE. WELL, GO BACK TO THE LAUNDRY AND TELL THEM I NEED MY SUIT. 910 00:35:49,615 --> 00:35:51,226 WELL, GO BACK TO THE LAUNDRY AND TELL THEM I NEED MY SUIT. YOU CAN'T BOSS ME AROUND. 911 00:35:51,250 --> 00:35:53,261 AND TELL THEM I NEED MY SUIT. YOU CAN'T BOSS ME AROUND. I'M NOT YOUR WIFE ANYMORE. 912 00:35:53,285 --> 00:35:54,762 YOU CAN'T BOSS ME AROUND. I'M NOT YOUR WIFE ANYMORE. WELL, YOU ARE UNTIL YOU SIGN 913 00:35:54,786 --> 00:35:55,497 I'M NOT YOUR WIFE ANYMORE. WELL, YOU ARE UNTIL YOU SIGN THOSE PAPERS. 914 00:35:55,521 --> 00:35:57,031 WELL, YOU ARE UNTIL YOU SIGN THOSE PAPERS. NOW GO GET ME MY SUIT. 915 00:35:57,055 --> 00:35:59,066 THOSE PAPERS. NOW GO GET ME MY SUIT. AH, AH, AH. 916 00:35:59,090 --> 00:36:00,034 NOW GO GET ME MY SUIT. AH, AH, AH. ALL RIGHT! 917 00:36:00,058 --> 00:36:02,370 AH, AH, AH. ALL RIGHT! I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN! 918 00:36:02,394 --> 00:36:04,172 ALL RIGHT! I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN! IS THAT ALL RIGHT? 919 00:36:04,196 --> 00:36:05,840 I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN! IS THAT ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE SUCH A LITTLE BOY, 920 00:36:05,864 --> 00:36:07,074 IS THAT ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE SUCH A LITTLE BOY, GEORGE KIMBLE. 921 00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:10,745 YOU'RE SUCH A LITTLE BOY, GEORGE KIMBLE. I LOVE YOU. 922 00:36:10,769 --> 00:36:12,514 GEORGE KIMBLE. I LOVE YOU. YES, I NOTICED IT WAS GETTING 923 00:36:12,538 --> 00:36:14,815 I LOVE YOU. YES, I NOTICED IT WAS GETTING A LITTLE WARMER IN HERE. 924 00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:16,817 YES, I NOTICED IT WAS GETTING A LITTLE WARMER IN HERE. OH, JUDY, JUDY... 925 00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:18,520 A LITTLE WARMER IN HERE. OH, JUDY, JUDY... WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS, ANYWAY, 926 00:36:18,544 --> 00:36:19,454 OH, JUDY, JUDY... WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS, ANYWAY, THIS DIVORCE? 927 00:36:19,478 --> 00:36:20,555 WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS, ANYWAY, THIS DIVORCE? IT'S SUCH A STUPID THING. 928 00:36:20,579 --> 00:36:21,722 THIS DIVORCE? IT'S SUCH A STUPID THING. WHOSE IDEA WAS IT IN THE FIRST 929 00:36:21,746 --> 00:36:22,123 IT'S SUCH A STUPID THING. WHOSE IDEA WAS IT IN THE FIRST PLACE? 930 00:36:22,147 --> 00:36:23,658 WHOSE IDEA WAS IT IN THE FIRST PLACE? I THINK IT WAS YOURS, 931 00:36:23,682 --> 00:36:24,959 PLACE? I THINK IT WAS YOURS, GEORGE KIMBLE. 932 00:36:24,983 --> 00:36:26,361 I THINK IT WAS YOURS, GEORGE KIMBLE. WELL, LET'S JUST PRETEND I 933 00:36:26,385 --> 00:36:28,429 GEORGE KIMBLE. WELL, LET'S JUST PRETEND I NEVER THOUGHT OF SUCH A THING... 934 00:36:28,453 --> 00:36:30,265 WELL, LET'S JUST PRETEND I NEVER THOUGHT OF SUCH A THING... MRS. KIMBLE. 935 00:36:30,289 --> 00:36:31,999 NEVER THOUGHT OF SUCH A THING... MRS. KIMBLE. [GASPS] 936 00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:33,868 MRS. KIMBLE. [GASPS] OH, GEORGE. 937 00:36:33,892 --> 00:36:34,669 [GASPS] OH, GEORGE. JUDY. 938 00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:35,803 OH, GEORGE. JUDY. OH, GEORGE. 939 00:36:35,827 --> 00:36:37,305 JUDY. OH, GEORGE. OH, JUDY, JUDY. 940 00:36:37,329 --> 00:36:38,306 OH, GEORGE. OH, JUDY, JUDY. OH, GEORGE! 941 00:36:38,330 --> 00:36:39,073 OH, JUDY, JUDY. OH, GEORGE! JUDY. 942 00:36:39,097 --> 00:36:40,441 OH, GEORGE! JUDY. GEORGE. 943 00:36:40,465 --> 00:36:41,576 JUDY. GEORGE. OH, GEORGE! 944 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:42,477 GEORGE. OH, GEORGE! JUDY! 945 00:36:42,501 --> 00:36:43,178 OH, GEORGE! JUDY! GEORGE! 946 00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:43,878 JUDY! GEORGE! JUDY! 947 00:36:43,902 --> 00:36:44,712 GEORGE! JUDY! GEORGE! 948 00:36:44,736 --> 00:36:45,880 JUDY! GEORGE! JUDY! 949 00:36:45,904 --> 00:36:48,916 GEORGE! JUDY! JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU! 950 00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:51,852 JUDY! JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU! JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JUDY! 951 00:36:51,876 --> 00:36:56,191 JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU! JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! 952 00:36:56,215 --> 00:36:58,626 JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! 953 00:36:58,650 --> 00:37:00,584 JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY... 954 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:14,609 WELL, MAYBE SOME THINGS SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO BE SEEN. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN 955 00:37:14,633 --> 00:37:16,244 SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO BE SEEN. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN "THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA" 956 00:37:16,268 --> 00:37:17,812 TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN "THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA" BRINGS YOU THE OUTTAKES FROM 957 00:37:17,836 --> 00:37:20,996 "THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA" BRINGS YOU THE OUTTAKES FROM "THE MIRACLE WORKER." 958 00:37:44,828 --> 00:37:49,143 HELLO. WELCOME TO "3 R's," THE PROGRAM THAT IS FUNDED BY THE NEW YORK 959 00:37:49,167 --> 00:37:51,078 WELCOME TO "3 R's," THE PROGRAM THAT IS FUNDED BY THE NEW YORK STATE BOARD OF REGENTS AND EVERY 960 00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:52,980 THAT IS FUNDED BY THE NEW YORK STATE BOARD OF REGENTS AND EVERY WEEK EXAMINES ANOTHER ASPECT OF 961 00:37:53,004 --> 00:37:54,449 STATE BOARD OF REGENTS AND EVERY WEEK EXAMINES ANOTHER ASPECT OF OUR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM. 962 00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:56,150 WEEK EXAMINES ANOTHER ASPECT OF OUR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM. I'M JANE CURTIN, AND MY GUESTS 963 00:37:56,174 --> 00:37:57,818 OUR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM. I'M JANE CURTIN, AND MY GUESTS TONIGHT ARE MICHAEL MYKONOS AND 964 00:37:57,842 --> 00:37:59,254 I'M JANE CURTIN, AND MY GUESTS TONIGHT ARE MICHAEL MYKONOS AND HIS DAUGHTER, COLLEEN. 965 00:37:59,278 --> 00:38:00,020 TONIGHT ARE MICHAEL MYKONOS AND HIS DAUGHTER, COLLEEN. WELCOME. 966 00:38:00,044 --> 00:38:02,357 HIS DAUGHTER, COLLEEN. WELCOME. [SPEAKING GREEK] 967 00:38:02,381 --> 00:38:02,890 WELCOME. [SPEAKING GREEK] IT'S GREEK. 968 00:38:02,914 --> 00:38:03,791 [SPEAKING GREEK] IT'S GREEK. VERY GOOD TO BE HERE. 969 00:38:03,815 --> 00:38:04,659 IT'S GREEK. VERY GOOD TO BE HERE. VERY NICE TO BE HERE. 970 00:38:04,683 --> 00:38:05,660 VERY GOOD TO BE HERE. VERY NICE TO BE HERE. VERY GOOD TO BE HERE. 971 00:38:05,684 --> 00:38:07,395 VERY NICE TO BE HERE. VERY GOOD TO BE HERE. MR. MYKONOS HAS JUST FILED A 972 00:38:07,419 --> 00:38:09,096 VERY GOOD TO BE HERE. MR. MYKONOS HAS JUST FILED A $10 MILLION LAWSUIT AGAINST THE 973 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:10,698 MR. MYKONOS HAS JUST FILED A $10 MILLION LAWSUIT AGAINST THE BOARD OF EDUCATION, CLAIMING 974 00:38:10,722 --> 00:38:12,267 $10 MILLION LAWSUIT AGAINST THE BOARD OF EDUCATION, CLAIMING THAT COLLEEN ATTENDED A CITY 975 00:38:12,291 --> 00:38:14,034 BOARD OF EDUCATION, CLAIMING THAT COLLEEN ATTENDED A CITY HIGH SCHOOL, GRADUATED, RECEIVED 976 00:38:14,058 --> 00:38:15,670 THAT COLLEEN ATTENDED A CITY HIGH SCHOOL, GRADUATED, RECEIVED HER DIPLOMA, BUT CANNOT ENTER 977 00:38:15,694 --> 00:38:17,372 HIGH SCHOOL, GRADUATED, RECEIVED HER DIPLOMA, BUT CANNOT ENTER COLLEGE BECAUSE TESTS SHOW THAT 978 00:38:17,396 --> 00:38:18,439 HER DIPLOMA, BUT CANNOT ENTER COLLEGE BECAUSE TESTS SHOW THAT SHE'S ILLITERATE. 979 00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:20,375 COLLEGE BECAUSE TESTS SHOW THAT SHE'S ILLITERATE. IS THAT RIGHT, MR. MYKONOS? 980 00:38:20,399 --> 00:38:21,542 SHE'S ILLITERATE. IS THAT RIGHT, MR. MYKONOS? WE ARE A SIMPLE PEOPLE, YOU 981 00:38:21,566 --> 00:38:22,209 IS THAT RIGHT, MR. MYKONOS? WE ARE A SIMPLE PEOPLE, YOU KNOW? 982 00:38:22,233 --> 00:38:23,911 WE ARE A SIMPLE PEOPLE, YOU KNOW? WE ARE 100% GREEK. 983 00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:24,912 KNOW? WE ARE 100% GREEK. 100%. 984 00:38:24,936 --> 00:38:27,415 WE ARE 100% GREEK. 100%. I RUN A LUNCHEONETTE CALLED 985 00:38:27,439 --> 00:38:29,216 100%. I RUN A LUNCHEONETTE CALLED EAT GOOD FOOD LUNCHEONETTE. 986 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:30,251 I RUN A LUNCHEONETTE CALLED EAT GOOD FOOD LUNCHEONETTE. WE HAVE VERY GOOD STRAWBERRY 987 00:38:30,275 --> 00:38:30,652 EAT GOOD FOOD LUNCHEONETTE. WE HAVE VERY GOOD STRAWBERRY PIE. 988 00:38:30,676 --> 00:38:31,719 WE HAVE VERY GOOD STRAWBERRY PIE. YOU EAT THERE? 989 00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:32,253 PIE. YOU EAT THERE? OH, NO. 990 00:38:32,277 --> 00:38:33,321 YOU EAT THERE? OH, NO. EH, YOU CHEAP... 991 00:38:33,345 --> 00:38:35,856 OH, NO. EH, YOU CHEAP... ANYWAY, YOU KNOW, MY WIFE, SHE 992 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:37,825 EH, YOU CHEAP... ANYWAY, YOU KNOW, MY WIFE, SHE DIED, YOU KNOW? 993 00:38:37,849 --> 00:38:39,327 ANYWAY, YOU KNOW, MY WIFE, SHE DIED, YOU KNOW? AND COLLEEN, I WANTED HER TO GO 994 00:38:39,351 --> 00:38:40,428 DIED, YOU KNOW? AND COLLEEN, I WANTED HER TO GO TO COLLEGE, YOU KNOW? 995 00:38:40,452 --> 00:38:41,596 AND COLLEEN, I WANTED HER TO GO TO COLLEGE, YOU KNOW? I WON'T LIVE FOREVER. 996 00:38:41,620 --> 00:38:42,697 TO COLLEGE, YOU KNOW? I WON'T LIVE FOREVER. MAYBE I DIE SOON. 997 00:38:42,721 --> 00:38:43,864 I WON'T LIVE FOREVER. MAYBE I DIE SOON. HOW SHE GONNA TAKE CARE OF 998 00:38:43,888 --> 00:38:45,433 MAYBE I DIE SOON. HOW SHE GONNA TAKE CARE OF HERSELF SHE CAN'T READ, HUH? 999 00:38:45,457 --> 00:38:46,567 HOW SHE GONNA TAKE CARE OF HERSELF SHE CAN'T READ, HUH? HOW AM I GONNA DIE IN PEACE, 1000 00:38:46,591 --> 00:38:47,134 HERSELF SHE CAN'T READ, HUH? HOW AM I GONNA DIE IN PEACE, HUH? 1001 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,169 HOW AM I GONNA DIE IN PEACE, HUH? BUT, PAPA... 1002 00:38:48,193 --> 00:38:51,105 HUH? BUT, PAPA... SHUT UP! 1003 00:38:51,129 --> 00:38:52,740 BUT, PAPA... SHUT UP! WHAT SCHOOL DID YOU GRADUATE 1004 00:38:52,764 --> 00:38:54,842 SHUT UP! WHAT SCHOOL DID YOU GRADUATE FROM, COLLEEN? 1005 00:38:54,866 --> 00:38:57,077 WHAT SCHOOL DID YOU GRADUATE FROM, COLLEEN? T.S. 187. 1006 00:38:57,101 --> 00:38:58,012 FROM, COLLEEN? T.S. 187. T.S. 1007 00:38:58,036 --> 00:38:59,614 T.S. 187. T.S. YOU SAID "T.S."! 1008 00:38:59,638 --> 00:39:01,215 T.S. YOU SAID "T.S."! YOU KNOW, SHE'S SO STUPID, SHE 1009 00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:02,383 YOU SAID "T.S."! YOU KNOW, SHE'S SO STUPID, SHE DON'T DO NO LETTERS. 1010 00:39:02,407 --> 00:39:03,751 YOU KNOW, SHE'S SO STUPID, SHE DON'T DO NO LETTERS. WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY? 1011 00:39:03,775 --> 00:39:05,586 DON'T DO NO LETTERS. WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY? THIS SOUNDS SO AMAZING TO ME, 1012 00:39:05,610 --> 00:39:07,322 WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY? THIS SOUNDS SO AMAZING TO ME, CONSIDERING ALL THE TESTS THAT 1013 00:39:07,346 --> 00:39:08,989 THIS SOUNDS SO AMAZING TO ME, CONSIDERING ALL THE TESTS THAT ARE DONE IN SCHOOL, THAT THIS 1014 00:39:09,013 --> 00:39:10,825 CONSIDERING ALL THE TESTS THAT ARE DONE IN SCHOOL, THAT THIS CONDITION WAS NOT DETECTED UNTIL 1015 00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:12,360 ARE DONE IN SCHOOL, THAT THIS CONDITION WAS NOT DETECTED UNTIL NOW. 1016 00:39:12,384 --> 00:39:13,828 CONDITION WAS NOT DETECTED UNTIL NOW. MY DAUGHTER WROTE A BOOK ALL 1017 00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:14,362 NOW. MY DAUGHTER WROTE A BOOK ALL ABOUT IT. 1018 00:39:14,386 --> 00:39:15,630 MY DAUGHTER WROTE A BOOK ALL ABOUT IT. SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT. 1019 00:39:15,654 --> 00:39:18,165 ABOUT IT. SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT. IT'S CALLED "MY EXPERIENCES AS 1020 00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:19,400 SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT. IT'S CALLED "MY EXPERIENCES AS AN ILLITERATE." 1021 00:39:19,424 --> 00:39:21,736 IT'S CALLED "MY EXPERIENCES AS AN ILLITERATE." UH, WHAT'S THAT TITLE AGAIN? 1022 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,771 AN ILLITERATE." UH, WHAT'S THAT TITLE AGAIN? IT'S "MY EXPERIENCE"... 1023 00:39:23,795 --> 00:39:25,673 UH, WHAT'S THAT TITLE AGAIN? IT'S "MY EXPERIENCE"... SEE, SHE'S SO STUPID! 1024 00:39:25,697 --> 00:39:26,808 IT'S "MY EXPERIENCE"... SEE, SHE'S SO STUPID! AAH! 1025 00:39:26,832 --> 00:39:29,043 SEE, SHE'S SO STUPID! AAH! LOOK WHAT YOU WRITE HERE! 1026 00:39:29,067 --> 00:39:31,045 AAH! LOOK WHAT YOU WRITE HERE! WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY, EH? 1027 00:39:31,069 --> 00:39:31,779 LOOK WHAT YOU WRITE HERE! WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY, EH? I WANT MY MONEY. 1028 00:39:31,803 --> 00:39:32,814 WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY, EH? I WANT MY MONEY. THAT'S ALL I ASK FOR. 1029 00:39:32,838 --> 00:39:33,548 I WANT MY MONEY. THAT'S ALL I ASK FOR. I'M VERY SIMPLE. 1030 00:39:33,572 --> 00:39:34,281 THAT'S ALL I ASK FOR. I'M VERY SIMPLE. I WANT MY MONEY. 1031 00:39:34,305 --> 00:39:36,751 I'M VERY SIMPLE. I WANT MY MONEY. THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY SAD. 1032 00:39:36,775 --> 00:39:38,686 I WANT MY MONEY. THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY SAD. DID COLLEEN SUFFER ANY EMOTIONAL 1033 00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:40,421 THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY SAD. DID COLLEEN SUFFER ANY EMOTIONAL STRAIN DUE TO HER CONDITION? 1034 00:39:40,445 --> 00:39:42,189 DID COLLEEN SUFFER ANY EMOTIONAL STRAIN DUE TO HER CONDITION? DID THE CHILDREN TEASE HER OR 1035 00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:43,290 STRAIN DUE TO HER CONDITION? DID THE CHILDREN TEASE HER OR MAKE FUN OF HER? 1036 00:39:43,314 --> 00:39:44,459 DID THE CHILDREN TEASE HER OR MAKE FUN OF HER? SURE, ALL THE TIME. 1037 00:39:44,483 --> 00:39:45,159 MAKE FUN OF HER? SURE, ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME. 1038 00:39:45,183 --> 00:39:46,794 SURE, ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME. YEAH, SURE, THEY CALL HER NAMES, 1039 00:39:46,818 --> 00:39:48,229 ALL THE TIME. YEAH, SURE, THEY CALL HER NAMES, SHE STAY ALL BY HERSELF ALL 1040 00:39:48,253 --> 00:39:48,763 YEAH, SURE, THEY CALL HER NAMES, SHE STAY ALL BY HERSELF ALL SUMMER. 1041 00:39:48,787 --> 00:39:51,466 SHE STAY ALL BY HERSELF ALL SUMMER. SHE COMES HOME, SHE WORKS EVERY 1042 00:39:51,490 --> 00:39:54,001 SUMMER. SHE COMES HOME, SHE WORKS EVERY DAY, AND SHE GOES TO BED, AND 1043 00:39:54,025 --> 00:39:55,837 SHE COMES HOME, SHE WORKS EVERY DAY, AND SHE GOES TO BED, AND SHE READS AN M&M. 1044 00:39:55,861 --> 00:39:56,738 DAY, AND SHE GOES TO BED, AND SHE READS AN M&M. YOU KNOW? 1045 00:39:56,762 --> 00:39:58,205 SHE READS AN M&M. YOU KNOW? AND IT'S ALL IN THE BOOK. 1046 00:39:58,229 --> 00:39:59,841 YOU KNOW? AND IT'S ALL IN THE BOOK. IT'S ON PAGE 1. 1047 00:39:59,865 --> 00:40:01,275 AND IT'S ALL IN THE BOOK. IT'S ON PAGE 1. YOU KNOW "ONE" IN GREEK? 1048 00:40:01,299 --> 00:40:02,610 IT'S ON PAGE 1. YOU KNOW "ONE" IN GREEK? PAGE 1. 1049 00:40:02,634 --> 00:40:05,780 YOU KNOW "ONE" IN GREEK? PAGE 1. ALL THE PAGES ARE "1." 1050 00:40:05,804 --> 00:40:07,815 PAGE 1. ALL THE PAGES ARE "1." AH, IT'S THE LAST PAGE... 1B. 1051 00:40:07,839 --> 00:40:08,883 ALL THE PAGES ARE "1." AH, IT'S THE LAST PAGE... 1B. SHE'S SO STUPID! 1052 00:40:08,907 --> 00:40:10,050 AH, IT'S THE LAST PAGE... 1B. SHE'S SO STUPID! OH, PAPA! 1053 00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:12,119 SHE'S SO STUPID! OH, PAPA! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! 1054 00:40:12,143 --> 00:40:13,721 OH, PAPA! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! MY FATHER'S A CROOK AND A FRAUD. 1055 00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:15,289 I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! MY FATHER'S A CROOK AND A FRAUD. HE PUT ME UP TO THIS SO HE COULD 1056 00:40:15,313 --> 00:40:16,123 MY FATHER'S A CROOK AND A FRAUD. HE PUT ME UP TO THIS SO HE COULD GET THE MONEY. 1057 00:40:16,147 --> 00:40:18,626 HE PUT ME UP TO THIS SO HE COULD GET THE MONEY. HE REALLY DID, AND I'M SORRY. 1058 00:40:18,650 --> 00:40:20,060 GET THE MONEY. HE REALLY DID, AND I'M SORRY. HIS LUNCHEONETTE WAS GOING DOWN 1059 00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:21,396 HE REALLY DID, AND I'M SORRY. HIS LUNCHEONETTE WAS GOING DOWN THE TUBES, AND HE MADE ME DO 1060 00:40:21,420 --> 00:40:22,897 HIS LUNCHEONETTE WAS GOING DOWN THE TUBES, AND HE MADE ME DO THIS, AND I APOLOGIZE TO YOU AND 1061 00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:24,432 THE TUBES, AND HE MADE ME DO THIS, AND I APOLOGIZE TO YOU AND YOUR AUDIENCE. 1062 00:40:24,456 --> 00:40:26,934 THIS, AND I APOLOGIZE TO YOU AND YOUR AUDIENCE. NEVER TALK WITH DISRESPECT TO 1063 00:40:26,958 --> 00:40:28,836 YOUR AUDIENCE. NEVER TALK WITH DISRESPECT TO YOUR FATHER ON MY SHOW! 1064 00:40:28,860 --> 00:40:30,505 NEVER TALK WITH DISRESPECT TO YOUR FATHER ON MY SHOW! OHH! WHAT ARE YOU... 1065 00:40:30,529 --> 00:40:31,672 YOUR FATHER ON MY SHOW! OHH! WHAT ARE YOU... OH, YOU POOR MAN. 1066 00:40:31,696 --> 00:40:33,374 OHH! WHAT ARE YOU... OH, YOU POOR MAN. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CASE, AND I 1067 00:40:33,398 --> 00:40:34,675 OH, YOU POOR MAN. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CASE, AND I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU WIN. 1068 00:40:34,699 --> 00:40:35,643 GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CASE, AND I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU WIN. THAT'S RIGHT. 1069 00:40:35,667 --> 00:40:37,177 CERTAINLY HOPE YOU WIN. THAT'S RIGHT. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN MY 1070 00:40:37,201 --> 00:40:38,713 THAT'S RIGHT. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE A GROWN MAN WHO 1071 00:40:38,737 --> 00:40:40,247 TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN MY GUEST WILL BE A GROWN MAN WHO STILL USES THE WORD "TARDY." 1072 00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:42,991 GUEST WILL BE A GROWN MAN WHO STILL USES THE WORD "TARDY." GOOD NIGHT. 1073 00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:57,780 Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE STORY OF "H." IT ALL STARTED WITH MY 1074 00:40:59,424 --> 00:41:01,436 GENTLEMEN, THE STORY OF "H." IT ALL STARTED WITH MY PARENTS, GRACE AND GLENN HEFNER, 1075 00:41:01,460 --> 00:41:02,837 IT ALL STARTED WITH MY PARENTS, GRACE AND GLENN HEFNER, HARDWORKING FARM PEOPLE FROM 1076 00:41:02,861 --> 00:41:05,139 PARENTS, GRACE AND GLENN HEFNER, HARDWORKING FARM PEOPLE FROM NEBRASKA, WITH A STRONG SENSE OF 1077 00:41:05,163 --> 00:41:11,078 HARDWORKING FARM PEOPLE FROM NEBRASKA, WITH A STRONG SENSE OF RIGHT AND WRONG. 1078 00:41:11,102 --> 00:41:13,347 NEBRASKA, WITH A STRONG SENSE OF RIGHT AND WRONG. THANKS TO THEM, I GOT A GOOD 1079 00:41:13,371 --> 00:41:19,186 RIGHT AND WRONG. THANKS TO THEM, I GOT A GOOD START IN LIFE. 1080 00:41:19,210 --> 00:41:21,088 THANKS TO THEM, I GOT A GOOD START IN LIFE. EVEN AS A YOUNG MAN, I TRIED TO 1081 00:41:21,112 --> 00:41:22,356 START IN LIFE. EVEN AS A YOUNG MAN, I TRIED TO DO THE RIGHT THING. 1082 00:41:22,380 --> 00:41:24,358 EVEN AS A YOUNG MAN, I TRIED TO DO THE RIGHT THING. I SERVED MY COUNTRY. 1083 00:41:24,382 --> 00:41:29,630 DO THE RIGHT THING. I SERVED MY COUNTRY. I TOOK A WIFE. 1084 00:41:29,654 --> 00:41:32,132 I SERVED MY COUNTRY. I TOOK A WIFE. THEN THINGS STARTED TO GO WRONG. 1085 00:41:32,156 --> 00:41:34,769 I TOOK A WIFE. THEN THINGS STARTED TO GO WRONG. I YIELDED TO TEMPTATION WITHOUT 1086 00:41:34,793 --> 00:41:39,006 THEN THINGS STARTED TO GO WRONG. I YIELDED TO TEMPTATION WITHOUT REALIZING WHERE IT WOULD LEAD. 1087 00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:42,343 I YIELDED TO TEMPTATION WITHOUT REALIZING WHERE IT WOULD LEAD. ♪ VENUS, IF YOU WILL ♪ 1088 00:41:42,367 --> 00:41:44,679 REALIZING WHERE IT WOULD LEAD. ♪ VENUS, IF YOU WILL ♪ ALL I WANTED WAS A PLAIN, 1089 00:41:44,703 --> 00:41:46,747 ♪ VENUS, IF YOU WILL ♪ ALL I WANTED WAS A PLAIN, ORDINARY GIRL NEXT DOOR. 1090 00:41:46,771 --> 00:41:47,982 ALL I WANTED WAS A PLAIN, ORDINARY GIRL NEXT DOOR. BUT, NO. 1091 00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:49,416 ORDINARY GIRL NEXT DOOR. BUT, NO. EVEN THIS WAS DENIED ME. 1092 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,385 BUT, NO. EVEN THIS WAS DENIED ME. ♪ GIRL WITH ALL THE CHARM ♪ 1093 00:41:51,409 --> 00:41:53,020 EVEN THIS WAS DENIED ME. ♪ GIRL WITH ALL THE CHARM ♪ ♪ WELL, LONG TALL SALLY SHE'S 1094 00:41:53,044 --> 00:41:54,489 ♪ GIRL WITH ALL THE CHARM ♪ ♪ WELL, LONG TALL SALLY SHE'S BUILT FOR SPEED, SHE GOT 1095 00:41:54,513 --> 00:41:55,957 ♪ WELL, LONG TALL SALLY SHE'S BUILT FOR SPEED, SHE GOT EVERYTHING THAT UNCLE JOHN 1096 00:41:55,981 --> 00:41:56,457 BUILT FOR SPEED, SHE GOT EVERYTHING THAT UNCLE JOHN NEED ♪ 1097 00:41:56,481 --> 00:41:57,959 EVERYTHING THAT UNCLE JOHN NEED ♪ ♪ OH, BABY ♪ 1098 00:41:57,983 --> 00:42:00,495 NEED ♪ ♪ OH, BABY ♪ ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ 1099 00:42:00,519 --> 00:42:01,796 ♪ OH, BABY ♪ ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ ♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪ 1100 00:42:01,820 --> 00:42:03,097 ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ ♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪ ♪ BABY ♪ 1101 00:42:03,121 --> 00:42:05,566 ♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪ ♪ BABY ♪ ♪ HAVIN' ME SOME FUN TONIGHT ♪ 1102 00:42:05,590 --> 00:42:07,101 ♪ BABY ♪ ♪ HAVIN' ME SOME FUN TONIGHT ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪ 1103 00:42:07,125 --> 00:42:08,369 ♪ HAVIN' ME SOME FUN TONIGHT ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪ HELLO, THERE. 1104 00:42:08,393 --> 00:42:09,470 ♪ YEAH ♪ HELLO, THERE. GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US THIS 1105 00:42:09,494 --> 00:42:10,270 HELLO, THERE. GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US THIS EVENING. 1106 00:42:10,294 --> 00:42:11,271 GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US THIS EVENING. I'M HUGH HEFNER, 1107 00:42:11,295 --> 00:42:12,507 EVENING. I'M HUGH HEFNER, EDITOR/PUBLISHER OF PLAYBOY 1108 00:42:12,531 --> 00:42:14,475 I'M HUGH HEFNER, EDITOR/PUBLISHER OF PLAYBOY MAGAZINE AND YOUR HOST. 1109 00:42:14,499 --> 00:42:16,343 EDITOR/PUBLISHER OF PLAYBOY MAGAZINE AND YOUR HOST. ♪ PLEASE ALLOW ME TO 1110 00:42:16,367 --> 00:42:18,245 MAGAZINE AND YOUR HOST. ♪ PLEASE ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF ♪ 1111 00:42:18,269 --> 00:42:20,515 ♪ PLEASE ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF ♪ ♪ I'M A MAN OF WEALTH AND 1112 00:42:20,539 --> 00:42:21,415 INTRODUCE MYSELF ♪ ♪ I'M A MAN OF WEALTH AND TASTE ♪ 1113 00:42:21,439 --> 00:42:23,050 ♪ I'M A MAN OF WEALTH AND TASTE ♪ I SHOULD HAVE BEEN LEFT ALONE 1114 00:42:23,074 --> 00:42:24,585 TASTE ♪ I SHOULD HAVE BEEN LEFT ALONE WITH MY SHAME, BUT I WAS LURED 1115 00:42:24,609 --> 00:42:26,453 I SHOULD HAVE BEEN LEFT ALONE WITH MY SHAME, BUT I WAS LURED INTO THE LIMELIGHT, CONFUSED, 1116 00:42:26,477 --> 00:42:28,355 WITH MY SHAME, BUT I WAS LURED INTO THE LIMELIGHT, CONFUSED, SAYING ANYTHING THAT CAME INTO 1117 00:42:28,379 --> 00:42:29,056 INTO THE LIMELIGHT, CONFUSED, SAYING ANYTHING THAT CAME INTO MY HEAD. 1118 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,091 SAYING ANYTHING THAT CAME INTO MY HEAD. I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A MUCH 1119 00:42:31,115 --> 00:42:33,160 MY HEAD. I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A MUCH MORE LIBERAL, MORE PERMISSIVE 1120 00:42:33,184 --> 00:42:35,129 I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A MUCH MORE LIBERAL, MORE PERMISSIVE ATTITUDE AND LIFESTYLES, AND 1121 00:42:35,153 --> 00:42:37,297 MORE LIBERAL, MORE PERMISSIVE ATTITUDE AND LIFESTYLES, AND THAT'S PART OF WHAT PLAYBOY'S 1122 00:42:37,321 --> 00:42:39,867 ATTITUDE AND LIFESTYLES, AND THAT'S PART OF WHAT PLAYBOY'S BEEN ALL ABOUT. 1123 00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:41,903 THAT'S PART OF WHAT PLAYBOY'S BEEN ALL ABOUT. LIBERTINES AND HIPPIES WERE 1124 00:42:41,927 --> 00:42:43,470 BEEN ALL ABOUT. LIBERTINES AND HIPPIES WERE TAKING OVER. 1125 00:42:43,494 --> 00:42:45,172 LIBERTINES AND HIPPIES WERE TAKING OVER. AND I WAS DUPED INTO GIVING THEM 1126 00:42:45,196 --> 00:42:48,375 TAKING OVER. AND I WAS DUPED INTO GIVING THEM A FORUM FOR THEIR VIEWS. 1127 00:42:48,399 --> 00:42:50,011 AND I WAS DUPED INTO GIVING THEM A FORUM FOR THEIR VIEWS. ♪ GROUND CONTROL TO 1128 00:42:50,035 --> 00:42:51,245 A FORUM FOR THEIR VIEWS. ♪ GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM ♪ 1129 00:42:51,269 --> 00:42:52,747 ♪ GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM ♪ I WAS GOING MAD. 1130 00:42:52,771 --> 00:42:55,416 MAJOR TOM ♪ I WAS GOING MAD. I DESPERATELY NEEDED TO ESCAPE. 1131 00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:57,084 I WAS GOING MAD. I DESPERATELY NEEDED TO ESCAPE. ♪ GROUND CONTROL TO 1132 00:42:57,108 --> 00:43:00,054 I DESPERATELY NEEDED TO ESCAPE. ♪ GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM ♪ 1133 00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:01,321 ♪ GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM ♪ BUT EVERY TIME I FLEW, I GOT 1134 00:43:01,345 --> 00:43:02,990 MAJOR TOM ♪ BUT EVERY TIME I FLEW, I GOT AIRSICK. 1135 00:43:03,014 --> 00:43:04,559 BUT EVERY TIME I FLEW, I GOT AIRSICK. I COULD STAND IT NO LONGER. 1136 00:43:04,583 --> 00:43:06,293 AIRSICK. I COULD STAND IT NO LONGER. I HAD TO FIND A MORE WHOLESOME 1137 00:43:06,317 --> 00:43:07,728 I COULD STAND IT NO LONGER. I HAD TO FIND A MORE WHOLESOME ENVIRONMENT. 1138 00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:09,030 I HAD TO FIND A MORE WHOLESOME ENVIRONMENT. I MOVED TO HOLLYWOOD. 1139 00:43:09,054 --> 00:43:10,731 ENVIRONMENT. I MOVED TO HOLLYWOOD. ♪ FOUR THAT WANNA OWN ME ♪ 1140 00:43:10,755 --> 00:43:12,366 I MOVED TO HOLLYWOOD. ♪ FOUR THAT WANNA OWN ME ♪ ♪ TWO THAT WANNA STONE ME ♪ 1141 00:43:12,390 --> 00:43:14,068 ♪ FOUR THAT WANNA OWN ME ♪ ♪ TWO THAT WANNA STONE ME ♪ ♪ ONE SAYS SHE'S A FRIEND OF 1142 00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:14,969 ♪ TWO THAT WANNA STONE ME ♪ ♪ ONE SAYS SHE'S A FRIEND OF MINE ♪ 1143 00:43:14,993 --> 00:43:17,838 ♪ ONE SAYS SHE'S A FRIEND OF MINE ♪ ♪ I SHOULD GO TO BED ♪ 1144 00:43:17,862 --> 00:43:19,373 MINE ♪ ♪ I SHOULD GO TO BED ♪ I WAS MISERABLE. 1145 00:43:19,397 --> 00:43:20,908 ♪ I SHOULD GO TO BED ♪ I WAS MISERABLE. I WANTED SOLITUDE, BUT THE 1146 00:43:20,932 --> 00:43:22,577 I WAS MISERABLE. I WANTED SOLITUDE, BUT THE PARTIES NEVER STOPPED. 1147 00:43:22,601 --> 00:43:24,045 I WANTED SOLITUDE, BUT THE PARTIES NEVER STOPPED. I WAS ONLY AT EASE WITH THOSE 1148 00:43:24,069 --> 00:43:27,347 PARTIES NEVER STOPPED. I WAS ONLY AT EASE WITH THOSE WHO HAD NEVER READ MY MAGAZINE. 1149 00:43:27,371 --> 00:43:31,085 I WAS ONLY AT EASE WITH THOSE WHO HAD NEVER READ MY MAGAZINE. ♪ TO SAY THE THINGS 1150 00:43:31,109 --> 00:43:33,921 WHO HAD NEVER READ MY MAGAZINE. ♪ TO SAY THE THINGS HE TRULY FEELS ♪ 1151 00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:35,089 ♪ TO SAY THE THINGS HE TRULY FEELS ♪ I KNOW IT'S TOO LATE TO 1152 00:43:35,113 --> 00:43:37,324 HE TRULY FEELS ♪ I KNOW IT'S TOO LATE TO CHANGE MY LIFE... 1153 00:43:37,348 --> 00:43:39,126 I KNOW IT'S TOO LATE TO CHANGE MY LIFE... BUT IF SEEING THIS FILM CAN SAVE 1154 00:43:39,150 --> 00:43:40,861 CHANGE MY LIFE... BUT IF SEEING THIS FILM CAN SAVE EVEN ONE OF YOU FROM A SIMILAR 1155 00:43:40,885 --> 00:43:42,863 BUT IF SEEING THIS FILM CAN SAVE EVEN ONE OF YOU FROM A SIMILAR FATE... 1156 00:43:42,887 --> 00:43:44,531 EVEN ONE OF YOU FROM A SIMILAR FATE... THEN MAYBE... 1157 00:43:44,555 --> 00:43:46,300 FATE... THEN MAYBE... JUST MAYBE... 1158 00:43:46,324 --> 00:43:47,434 THEN MAYBE... JUST MAYBE... IT WAS WORTH IT. 1159 00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:53,674 JUST MAYBE... IT WAS WORTH IT. ♪ AND DID IT MY WAY ♪ 1160 00:43:53,698 --> 00:43:55,698 IT WAS WORTH IT. ♪ AND DID IT MY WAY ♪ [APPLAUSE] 1161 00:44:01,071 --> 00:44:06,553 Announcer: ATHENS IN THE YEAR 400 B.C., THE CRADLE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION AND THE BIRTHPLACE 1162 00:44:06,577 --> 00:44:10,390 400 B.C., THE CRADLE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION AND THE BIRTHPLACE OF... 1163 00:44:10,414 --> 00:44:12,093 CIVILIZATION AND THE BIRTHPLACE OF... EACH DAY, THE WISE MEN AND YOUTH 1164 00:44:12,117 --> 00:44:13,761 OF... EACH DAY, THE WISE MEN AND YOUTH OF THE CITY WOULD GATHER IN THE 1165 00:44:13,785 --> 00:44:15,429 EACH DAY, THE WISE MEN AND YOUTH OF THE CITY WOULD GATHER IN THE MARKETPLACE TO ASK QUESTIONS OF 1166 00:44:15,453 --> 00:44:17,798 OF THE CITY WOULD GATHER IN THE MARKETPLACE TO ASK QUESTIONS OF THE PHILOSOPHERS AND TO LEARN AT 1167 00:44:17,822 --> 00:44:20,101 MARKETPLACE TO ASK QUESTIONS OF THE PHILOSOPHERS AND TO LEARN AT THE FEET OF THE ONE THEY CALLED 1168 00:44:20,125 --> 00:44:21,836 THE PHILOSOPHERS AND TO LEARN AT THE FEET OF THE ONE THEY CALLED HEF. 1169 00:44:21,860 --> 00:44:23,771 THE FEET OF THE ONE THEY CALLED HEF. IF YOU RECALL, FRIENDS, 1170 00:44:23,795 --> 00:44:26,040 HEF. IF YOU RECALL, FRIENDS, YESTERDAY WE SPOKE OF THE IDEAL 1171 00:44:26,064 --> 00:44:26,674 IF YOU RECALL, FRIENDS, YESTERDAY WE SPOKE OF THE IDEAL LIFE. 1172 00:44:26,698 --> 00:44:28,275 YESTERDAY WE SPOKE OF THE IDEAL LIFE. HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE? 1173 00:44:28,299 --> 00:44:31,946 LIFE. HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE? MY ANSWER, SIMPLY, KNOW THYSELF. 1174 00:44:31,970 --> 00:44:34,248 HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE? MY ANSWER, SIMPLY, KNOW THYSELF. A WISE THOUGHT, SOCRATES. 1175 00:44:34,272 --> 00:44:35,616 MY ANSWER, SIMPLY, KNOW THYSELF. A WISE THOUGHT, SOCRATES. AND I SAID THAT A MAN OUGHT TO 1176 00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:37,785 A WISE THOUGHT, SOCRATES. AND I SAID THAT A MAN OUGHT TO LEAD A JUST LIFE, A LIFE OF 1177 00:44:37,809 --> 00:44:39,253 AND I SAID THAT A MAN OUGHT TO LEAD A JUST LIFE, A LIFE OF HARMONY. 1178 00:44:39,277 --> 00:44:41,789 LEAD A JUST LIFE, A LIFE OF HARMONY. MMM, WELL SPOKEN, PLATO. 1179 00:44:41,813 --> 00:44:43,958 HARMONY. MMM, WELL SPOKEN, PLATO. BUT WHAT SAY YOU, HEF, YOU WHO 1180 00:44:43,982 --> 00:44:46,093 MMM, WELL SPOKEN, PLATO. BUT WHAT SAY YOU, HEF, YOU WHO HAVE TRAVELED WISELY AND HAVE 1181 00:44:46,117 --> 00:44:49,396 BUT WHAT SAY YOU, HEF, YOU WHO HAVE TRAVELED WISELY AND HAVE VISITED ALL THE TOPLESS RESORTS? 1182 00:44:49,420 --> 00:44:52,499 HAVE TRAVELED WISELY AND HAVE VISITED ALL THE TOPLESS RESORTS? HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE? 1183 00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:54,001 VISITED ALL THE TOPLESS RESORTS? HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE? AH, BUT LET US DEFINE OUR 1184 00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:54,735 HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE? AH, BUT LET US DEFINE OUR TERMS. 1185 00:44:54,759 --> 00:44:58,539 AH, BUT LET US DEFINE OUR TERMS. TELL ME, PLATO, WHAT IS A MAN? 1186 00:44:58,563 --> 00:45:00,340 TERMS. TELL ME, PLATO, WHAT IS A MAN? A CREATURE OF DESIRE, OF 1187 00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:01,909 TELL ME, PLATO, WHAT IS A MAN? A CREATURE OF DESIRE, OF COURAGE AND REASON? 1188 00:45:01,933 --> 00:45:03,144 A CREATURE OF DESIRE, OF COURAGE AND REASON? YES, OF COURSE. 1189 00:45:03,168 --> 00:45:04,244 COURAGE AND REASON? YES, OF COURSE. MM-HMM. 1190 00:45:04,268 --> 00:45:05,546 YES, OF COURSE. MM-HMM. THEN WHY IS A MAN DIFFERENT 1191 00:45:05,570 --> 00:45:07,081 MM-HMM. THEN WHY IS A MAN DIFFERENT FROM THE BEASTS? 1192 00:45:07,105 --> 00:45:10,851 THEN WHY IS A MAN DIFFERENT FROM THE BEASTS? THE LION HAS COURAGE. 1193 00:45:10,875 --> 00:45:12,586 FROM THE BEASTS? THE LION HAS COURAGE. BUT DOES THE LION DECORATE HIS 1194 00:45:12,610 --> 00:45:14,755 THE LION HAS COURAGE. BUT DOES THE LION DECORATE HIS CAVE... 1195 00:45:14,779 --> 00:45:16,223 BUT DOES THE LION DECORATE HIS CAVE... WITH A LEATHER BEDSPREAD AND 1196 00:45:16,247 --> 00:45:17,124 CAVE... WITH A LEATHER BEDSPREAD AND SHAG CARPETING? 1197 00:45:17,148 --> 00:45:19,459 WITH A LEATHER BEDSPREAD AND SHAG CARPETING? MNH-MNH, NO. 1198 00:45:19,483 --> 00:45:21,395 SHAG CARPETING? MNH-MNH, NO. AND DOES THE FOX CHOOSE THE 1199 00:45:21,419 --> 00:45:23,363 MNH-MNH, NO. AND DOES THE FOX CHOOSE THE AFTERSHAVE LOTION THAT IS RIGHT 1200 00:45:23,387 --> 00:45:24,065 AND DOES THE FOX CHOOSE THE AFTERSHAVE LOTION THAT IS RIGHT FOR HIM? 1201 00:45:24,089 --> 00:45:26,333 AFTERSHAVE LOTION THAT IS RIGHT FOR HIM? AHH, I SEE, I SEE. 1202 00:45:26,357 --> 00:45:28,602 FOR HIM? AHH, I SEE, I SEE. THE MAN IS THE ONLY CREATURE WHO 1203 00:45:28,626 --> 00:45:31,072 AHH, I SEE, I SEE. THE MAN IS THE ONLY CREATURE WHO CAN ENJOY A SENSUAL AND 1204 00:45:31,096 --> 00:45:34,374 THE MAN IS THE ONLY CREATURE WHO CAN ENJOY A SENSUAL AND UNINHIBITED LIFESTYLE AND LIVE 1205 00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:35,642 CAN ENJOY A SENSUAL AND UNINHIBITED LIFESTYLE AND LIVE FREE AND WORK HARD. 1206 00:45:35,666 --> 00:45:39,180 UNINHIBITED LIFESTYLE AND LIVE FREE AND WORK HARD. HABEO SCENTUM SUM, ERGO 1207 00:45:39,204 --> 00:45:42,717 FREE AND WORK HARD. HABEO SCENTUM SUM, ERGO SUM... I HAVE MY OWN SCENT, 1208 00:45:42,741 --> 00:45:44,518 HABEO SCENTUM SUM, ERGO SUM... I HAVE MY OWN SCENT, THEREFORE I AM. 1209 00:45:44,542 --> 00:45:45,652 SUM... I HAVE MY OWN SCENT, THEREFORE I AM. YES. 1210 00:45:45,676 --> 00:45:47,922 THEREFORE I AM. YES. AH, ONCE AGAIN, HEF, YOU HAVE 1211 00:45:47,946 --> 00:45:50,224 YES. AH, ONCE AGAIN, HEF, YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF THE WISEST AND 1212 00:45:50,248 --> 00:45:53,094 AH, ONCE AGAIN, HEF, YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF THE WISEST AND MOST SWINGING OF THE GREEKS. 1213 00:45:53,118 --> 00:45:55,362 PROVEN YOURSELF THE WISEST AND MOST SWINGING OF THE GREEKS. BUT ANSWER THIS, IF YOU CAN. 1214 00:45:55,386 --> 00:45:56,764 MOST SWINGING OF THE GREEKS. BUT ANSWER THIS, IF YOU CAN. "ONE NIGHT LAST WEEK, FOLLOWING 1215 00:45:56,788 --> 00:45:58,132 BUT ANSWER THIS, IF YOU CAN. "ONE NIGHT LAST WEEK, FOLLOWING A DELICIOUS DINNER OF MOUSSAKA 1216 00:45:58,156 --> 00:45:59,466 "ONE NIGHT LAST WEEK, FOLLOWING A DELICIOUS DINNER OF MOUSSAKA AND WHITE WINE, I WAS STARTLED 1217 00:45:59,490 --> 00:46:00,768 A DELICIOUS DINNER OF MOUSSAKA AND WHITE WINE, I WAS STARTLED TO HEAR THE YOUNG LADY I WAS 1218 00:46:00,792 --> 00:46:02,002 AND WHITE WINE, I WAS STARTLED TO HEAR THE YOUNG LADY I WAS ENTERTAINING ASK IF I HAD A 1219 00:46:02,026 --> 00:46:03,170 TO HEAR THE YOUNG LADY I WAS ENTERTAINING ASK IF I HAD A BOTTLE OF OUZO. 1220 00:46:03,194 --> 00:46:04,739 ENTERTAINING ASK IF I HAD A BOTTLE OF OUZO. JUST WHAT IS OUZO, ANYWAY, AND 1221 00:46:04,763 --> 00:46:06,207 BOTTLE OF OUZO. JUST WHAT IS OUZO, ANYWAY, AND WHERE CAN I BUY IT?" 1222 00:46:06,231 --> 00:46:07,474 JUST WHAT IS OUZO, ANYWAY, AND WHERE CAN I BUY IT?" WELL, THIS IS, INDEED, A 1223 00:46:07,498 --> 00:46:08,909 WHERE CAN I BUY IT?" WELL, THIS IS, INDEED, A DIFFICULT RIDDLE. 1224 00:46:08,933 --> 00:46:11,245 WELL, THIS IS, INDEED, A DIFFICULT RIDDLE. NOW HERE'S ONE FOR YOU. 1225 00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:14,014 DIFFICULT RIDDLE. NOW HERE'S ONE FOR YOU. HOW MANY OF YOU CAN SPOT THE 1226 00:46:14,038 --> 00:46:16,217 NOW HERE'S ONE FOR YOU. HOW MANY OF YOU CAN SPOT THE RABBIT ON THIS VASE? 1227 00:46:16,241 --> 00:46:17,284 HOW MANY OF YOU CAN SPOT THE RABBIT ON THIS VASE? AH. 1228 00:46:17,308 --> 00:46:18,919 RABBIT ON THIS VASE? AH. MNH-MNH-MNH! 1229 00:46:18,943 --> 00:46:19,620 AH. MNH-MNH-MNH! MNH! 1230 00:46:19,644 --> 00:46:22,790 MNH-MNH-MNH! MNH! YOU ARE FAR TOO SLY FOR US, HEF. 1231 00:46:22,814 --> 00:46:24,691 MNH! YOU ARE FAR TOO SLY FOR US, HEF. CLEARLY, YOU HAVE NO EQUAL IN 1232 00:46:24,715 --> 00:46:26,761 YOU ARE FAR TOO SLY FOR US, HEF. CLEARLY, YOU HAVE NO EQUAL IN THE FIELD OF SOPHISTICATED MEN'S 1233 00:46:26,785 --> 00:46:28,162 CLEARLY, YOU HAVE NO EQUAL IN THE FIELD OF SOPHISTICATED MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT. 1234 00:46:28,186 --> 00:46:29,296 THE FIELD OF SOPHISTICATED MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT. BUT WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH FOR 1235 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:29,897 ENTERTAINMENT. BUT WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH FOR TODAY. 1236 00:46:29,921 --> 00:46:30,965 BUT WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH FOR TODAY. SHALL WE GO TO MY HOUSE? 1237 00:46:30,989 --> 00:46:32,566 TODAY. SHALL WE GO TO MY HOUSE? THE SAUNA IS WORKING NOW. 1238 00:46:32,590 --> 00:46:34,034 SHALL WE GO TO MY HOUSE? THE SAUNA IS WORKING NOW. YES, LET'S GO. 1239 00:46:34,058 --> 00:46:35,602 THE SAUNA IS WORKING NOW. YES, LET'S GO. YOU TWO GO WITHOUT ME. 1240 00:46:35,626 --> 00:46:38,105 YES, LET'S GO. YOU TWO GO WITHOUT ME. I... I MUST STAY HERE AND SIT 1241 00:46:38,129 --> 00:46:39,874 YOU TWO GO WITHOUT ME. I... I MUST STAY HERE AND SIT AND PONDER THE ULTIMATE 1242 00:46:39,898 --> 00:46:40,775 I... I MUST STAY HERE AND SIT AND PONDER THE ULTIMATE QUESTION. 1243 00:46:40,799 --> 00:46:43,144 AND PONDER THE ULTIMATE QUESTION. AW, GIVE UP, HEF. 1244 00:46:43,168 --> 00:46:44,879 QUESTION. AW, GIVE UP, HEF. NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, YOU BROOD 1245 00:46:44,903 --> 00:46:46,380 AW, GIVE UP, HEF. NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, YOU BROOD OVER THE SAME QUESTION. 1246 00:46:46,404 --> 00:46:47,181 NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, YOU BROOD OVER THE SAME QUESTION. COME WITH US. 1247 00:46:47,205 --> 00:46:48,315 OVER THE SAME QUESTION. COME WITH US. WE'LL HAVE A DRINK AT THE 1248 00:46:48,339 --> 00:46:49,083 COME WITH US. WE'LL HAVE A DRINK AT THE PLAYBOY FORUM. 1249 00:46:49,107 --> 00:46:50,517 WE'LL HAVE A DRINK AT THE PLAYBOY FORUM. NO, LEAVE ME NOW. 1250 00:46:50,541 --> 00:46:51,618 PLAYBOY FORUM. NO, LEAVE ME NOW. I'LL JOIN YOU LATER. 1251 00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:52,686 NO, LEAVE ME NOW. I'LL JOIN YOU LATER. I'LL LEAVE YOU TO YOUR 1252 00:46:52,710 --> 00:46:57,925 I'LL JOIN YOU LATER. I'LL LEAVE YOU TO YOUR THOUGHTS. 1253 00:46:57,949 --> 00:47:01,383 I'LL LEAVE YOU TO YOUR THOUGHTS. TO GO PINK OR NOT TO GO PINK. 1254 00:47:18,302 --> 00:47:24,919 [ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS] AND SO, UPON THIS GRIEVOUS OCCASION, BECAUSE WE AT THE 1255 00:47:24,943 --> 00:47:26,586 AND SO, UPON THIS GRIEVOUS OCCASION, BECAUSE WE AT THE HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR FUNERAL HOME 1256 00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:27,688 OCCASION, BECAUSE WE AT THE HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR FUNERAL HOME DID NOT REALLY KNOW 1257 00:47:27,712 --> 00:47:29,990 HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR FUNERAL HOME DID NOT REALLY KNOW JONATHAN GILSRACK, WE'VE CALLED 1258 00:47:30,014 --> 00:47:32,259 DID NOT REALLY KNOW JONATHAN GILSRACK, WE'VE CALLED UPON HIS CLOSEST FRIEND IN LIFE 1259 00:47:32,283 --> 00:47:33,627 JONATHAN GILSRACK, WE'VE CALLED UPON HIS CLOSEST FRIEND IN LIFE TO DELIVER THE EULOGY, 1260 00:47:33,651 --> 00:47:34,695 UPON HIS CLOSEST FRIEND IN LIFE TO DELIVER THE EULOGY, HARTLEY RAYMOND. 1261 00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:40,267 TO DELIVER THE EULOGY, HARTLEY RAYMOND. HARTLEY? 1262 00:47:40,291 --> 00:47:42,536 HARTLEY RAYMOND. HARTLEY? THANK YOU, JOHN HOLSE. 1263 00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:43,737 HARTLEY? THANK YOU, JOHN HOLSE. HELLO, EVERYBODY, I'M 1264 00:47:43,761 --> 00:47:45,739 THANK YOU, JOHN HOLSE. HELLO, EVERYBODY, I'M HARTLEY RAYMOND. 1265 00:47:45,763 --> 00:47:46,907 HELLO, EVERYBODY, I'M HARTLEY RAYMOND. I'M SORRY WE ALL HAD TO MEET 1266 00:47:46,931 --> 00:47:48,375 HARTLEY RAYMOND. I'M SORRY WE ALL HAD TO MEET UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT 1267 00:47:48,399 --> 00:47:50,311 I'M SORRY WE ALL HAD TO MEET UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT THAT IS LIFE... 1268 00:47:50,335 --> 00:47:53,280 UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT THAT IS LIFE... AND DEATH, TOO, HUH? 1269 00:47:53,304 --> 00:47:54,448 THAT IS LIFE... AND DEATH, TOO, HUH? YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE SEEING 1270 00:47:54,472 --> 00:47:55,216 AND DEATH, TOO, HUH? YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE SEEING EVERYONE SO DOWN. 1271 00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:56,483 YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE SEEING EVERYONE SO DOWN. JONATHAN WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED IT 1272 00:47:56,507 --> 00:47:57,318 EVERYONE SO DOWN. JONATHAN WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED IT THIS WAY. 1273 00:47:57,342 --> 00:47:59,820 JONATHAN WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED IT THIS WAY. YOU KNOW, TO JONATHAN, LIFE WAS 1274 00:47:59,844 --> 00:48:01,455 THIS WAY. YOU KNOW, TO JONATHAN, LIFE WAS A PARTY. 1275 00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:02,689 YOU KNOW, TO JONATHAN, LIFE WAS A PARTY. THINK OF A WORD THAT DESCRIBES 1276 00:48:02,713 --> 00:48:03,324 A PARTY. THINK OF A WORD THAT DESCRIBES JONATHAN. 1277 00:48:03,348 --> 00:48:03,991 THINK OF A WORD THAT DESCRIBES JONATHAN. GO AHEAD. 1278 00:48:04,015 --> 00:48:06,160 JONATHAN. GO AHEAD. EVERYBODY, THINK OF A WORD. 1279 00:48:06,184 --> 00:48:07,928 GO AHEAD. EVERYBODY, THINK OF A WORD. ALL RIGHT, HAVE YOU GOT IT? 1280 00:48:07,952 --> 00:48:08,996 EVERYBODY, THINK OF A WORD. ALL RIGHT, HAVE YOU GOT IT? HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE THINKING 1281 00:48:09,020 --> 00:48:09,964 ALL RIGHT, HAVE YOU GOT IT? HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE THINKING "TERRIFIC"? 1282 00:48:09,988 --> 00:48:11,198 HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE THINKING "TERRIFIC"? HANDS? 1283 00:48:11,222 --> 00:48:12,699 "TERRIFIC"? HANDS? FOUR OUT OF NINE. 1284 00:48:12,723 --> 00:48:14,501 HANDS? FOUR OUT OF NINE. ALMOST HALF OF YOU WERE THINKING 1285 00:48:14,525 --> 00:48:16,370 FOUR OUT OF NINE. ALMOST HALF OF YOU WERE THINKING THAT JONATHAN WAS TERRIFIC. 1286 00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:17,304 ALMOST HALF OF YOU WERE THINKING THAT JONATHAN WAS TERRIFIC. [CRYING] 1287 00:48:17,328 --> 00:48:18,505 THAT JONATHAN WAS TERRIFIC. [CRYING] OH, PLEASE DON'T CRY, 1288 00:48:18,529 --> 00:48:19,606 [CRYING] OH, PLEASE DON'T CRY, MRS. GILSRACK. 1289 00:48:19,630 --> 00:48:21,208 OH, PLEASE DON'T CRY, MRS. GILSRACK. I HATE TO SEE YOU CRY. 1290 00:48:21,232 --> 00:48:21,942 MRS. GILSRACK. I HATE TO SEE YOU CRY. COME ON. 1291 00:48:21,966 --> 00:48:23,878 I HATE TO SEE YOU CRY. COME ON. COME ON, LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE. 1292 00:48:23,902 --> 00:48:24,511 COME ON. COME ON, LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE. YOU KNOW WHAT? 1293 00:48:24,535 --> 00:48:25,679 COME ON, LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE. YOU KNOW WHAT? ON ARRIVING HERE TODAY, I SAW 1294 00:48:25,703 --> 00:48:26,680 YOU KNOW WHAT? ON ARRIVING HERE TODAY, I SAW THIS BEAUTIFUL WREATH OF 1295 00:48:26,704 --> 00:48:27,614 ON ARRIVING HERE TODAY, I SAW THIS BEAUTIFUL WREATH OF FLOWERS. 1296 00:48:27,638 --> 00:48:28,648 THIS BEAUTIFUL WREATH OF FLOWERS. I FELT BETTER JUST LOOKING AT 1297 00:48:28,672 --> 00:48:29,083 FLOWERS. I FELT BETTER JUST LOOKING AT THEM. 1298 00:48:29,107 --> 00:48:30,751 I FELT BETTER JUST LOOKING AT THEM. AND I SAID TO MYSELF, "YOU KNOW, 1299 00:48:30,775 --> 00:48:32,086 THEM. AND I SAID TO MYSELF, "YOU KNOW, GOSH, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL." 1300 00:48:32,110 --> 00:48:33,354 AND I SAID TO MYSELF, "YOU KNOW, GOSH, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL." THEY LOOK JUST LIKE THE ONES I 1301 00:48:33,378 --> 00:48:34,355 GOSH, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL." THEY LOOK JUST LIKE THE ONES I HAVE RIGHT HERE. 1302 00:48:34,379 --> 00:48:35,256 THEY LOOK JUST LIKE THE ONES I HAVE RIGHT HERE. HOW ABOUT THAT? 1303 00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:36,523 HAVE RIGHT HERE. HOW ABOUT THAT? [ORGAN PLAYS] 1304 00:48:36,547 --> 00:48:37,424 HOW ABOUT THAT? [ORGAN PLAYS] THEY'RE FOR YOU. 1305 00:48:37,448 --> 00:48:38,926 [ORGAN PLAYS] THEY'RE FOR YOU. TAKE THEM BECAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY 1306 00:48:38,950 --> 00:48:39,994 THEY'RE FOR YOU. TAKE THEM BECAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY AND BEAUTIFUL, OKAY? 1307 00:48:40,018 --> 00:48:42,162 TAKE THEM BECAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY AND BEAUTIFUL, OKAY? A LITTLE HOCUS-POCUS, BUT WHAT 1308 00:48:42,186 --> 00:48:44,298 AND BEAUTIFUL, OKAY? A LITTLE HOCUS-POCUS, BUT WHAT IS LIFE BUT AN ILLUSION, HUH? 1309 00:48:44,322 --> 00:48:45,532 A LITTLE HOCUS-POCUS, BUT WHAT IS LIFE BUT AN ILLUSION, HUH? NOW, I'M JUST TRYING TO CHEER 1310 00:48:45,556 --> 00:48:46,800 IS LIFE BUT AN ILLUSION, HUH? NOW, I'M JUST TRYING TO CHEER EVERYBODY UP A LITTLE BIT, AND 1311 00:48:46,824 --> 00:48:48,102 NOW, I'M JUST TRYING TO CHEER EVERYBODY UP A LITTLE BIT, AND I'M GONNA KEEP TRYING, BUT I'M 1312 00:48:48,126 --> 00:48:49,403 EVERYBODY UP A LITTLE BIT, AND I'M GONNA KEEP TRYING, BUT I'M GONNA NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE 1313 00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:51,538 I'M GONNA KEEP TRYING, BUT I'M GONNA NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE MOURNERS TO STEP UP AND HELP ME. 1314 00:48:51,562 --> 00:48:53,274 GONNA NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE MOURNERS TO STEP UP AND HELP ME. NOW, HOW ABOUT THIS PRETTY GIRL 1315 00:48:53,298 --> 00:48:54,975 MOURNERS TO STEP UP AND HELP ME. NOW, HOW ABOUT THIS PRETTY GIRL RIGHT HERE, THE WIDOW GILSRACK? 1316 00:48:54,999 --> 00:48:55,709 NOW, HOW ABOUT THIS PRETTY GIRL RIGHT HERE, THE WIDOW GILSRACK? NO, NO. 1317 00:48:55,733 --> 00:48:56,743 RIGHT HERE, THE WIDOW GILSRACK? NO, NO. OH, COME ON, DON'T BE SHY. 1318 00:48:56,767 --> 00:48:57,744 NO, NO. OH, COME ON, DON'T BE SHY. MAYBE IF WE GIVE HER A HAND, 1319 00:48:57,768 --> 00:48:58,345 OH, COME ON, DON'T BE SHY. MAYBE IF WE GIVE HER A HAND, SHE'LL COME UP. 1320 00:48:58,369 --> 00:48:59,246 MAYBE IF WE GIVE HER A HAND, SHE'LL COME UP. COME ON. 1321 00:48:59,270 --> 00:49:00,647 SHE'LL COME UP. COME ON. LET'S HEAR IT FOR HER! 1322 00:49:00,671 --> 00:49:02,482 COME ON. LET'S HEAR IT FOR HER! COME ON! 1323 00:49:02,506 --> 00:49:03,850 LET'S HEAR IT FOR HER! COME ON! IS SHE MARVELOUS?! 1324 00:49:03,874 --> 00:49:05,519 COME ON! IS SHE MARVELOUS?! COME ON UP, MRS. GILSRACK! 1325 00:49:05,543 --> 00:49:06,086 IS SHE MARVELOUS?! COME ON UP, MRS. GILSRACK! COME ON! 1326 00:49:06,110 --> 00:49:07,087 COME ON UP, MRS. GILSRACK! COME ON! YOU'RE TERRIFIC. 1327 00:49:07,111 --> 00:49:07,754 COME ON! YOU'RE TERRIFIC. THANK YOU. 1328 00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:08,923 YOU'RE TERRIFIC. THANK YOU. NOW, WE'VE NEVER MET BEFORE IN 1329 00:49:08,947 --> 00:49:09,756 THANK YOU. NOW, WE'VE NEVER MET BEFORE IN OUR LIVES, HAVE WE? 1330 00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:10,891 NOW, WE'VE NEVER MET BEFORE IN OUR LIVES, HAVE WE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HARTLEY? 1331 00:49:10,915 --> 00:49:12,059 OUR LIVES, HAVE WE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HARTLEY? NO, OF COURSE WE HAVE. 1332 00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:13,060 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HARTLEY? NO, OF COURSE WE HAVE. I'M JUST KIDDING. 1333 00:49:13,084 --> 00:49:13,560 NO, OF COURSE WE HAVE. I'M JUST KIDDING. GOOD. 1334 00:49:13,584 --> 00:49:14,828 I'M JUST KIDDING. GOOD. I THINK WE'RE GONNA SUCCEED. 1335 00:49:14,852 --> 00:49:17,231 GOOD. I THINK WE'RE GONNA SUCCEED. NOW, DO YOU BELIEVE IN SPIRITS? 1336 00:49:17,255 --> 00:49:19,033 I THINK WE'RE GONNA SUCCEED. NOW, DO YOU BELIEVE IN SPIRITS? OH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 1337 00:49:19,057 --> 00:49:20,301 NOW, DO YOU BELIEVE IN SPIRITS? OH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW. BE HONEST. 1338 00:49:20,325 --> 00:49:22,169 OH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW. BE HONEST. I... I DON'T KNOW. 1339 00:49:22,193 --> 00:49:23,404 BE HONEST. I... I DON'T KNOW. OH, ALL RIGHT, Shh, Shh. 1340 00:49:23,428 --> 00:49:24,771 I... I DON'T KNOW. OH, ALL RIGHT, Shh, Shh. ALL RIGHT, ON MY WAY OVER HERE, 1341 00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:25,940 OH, ALL RIGHT, Shh, Shh. ALL RIGHT, ON MY WAY OVER HERE, I HAD THE MOST RIDICULOUS 1342 00:49:25,964 --> 00:49:26,440 ALL RIGHT, ON MY WAY OVER HERE, I HAD THE MOST RIDICULOUS THOUGHT. 1343 00:49:26,464 --> 00:49:27,474 I HAD THE MOST RIDICULOUS THOUGHT. TYPICAL... RIDICULOUS. 1344 00:49:27,498 --> 00:49:29,176 THOUGHT. TYPICAL... RIDICULOUS. I THOUGHT, "WHAT IF THE SPIRITS 1345 00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:30,577 TYPICAL... RIDICULOUS. I THOUGHT, "WHAT IF THE SPIRITS REALLY DID SPEAK FROM THE 1346 00:49:30,601 --> 00:49:32,012 I THOUGHT, "WHAT IF THE SPIRITS REALLY DID SPEAK FROM THE BEYOND?" 1347 00:49:32,036 --> 00:49:33,314 REALLY DID SPEAK FROM THE BEYOND?" A LITTLE MUSIC, PROFESSOR, 1348 00:49:33,338 --> 00:49:34,114 BEYOND?" A LITTLE MUSIC, PROFESSOR, PLEASE. 1349 00:49:34,138 --> 00:49:35,349 A LITTLE MUSIC, PROFESSOR, PLEASE. [ORGAN PLAYS] 1350 00:49:35,373 --> 00:49:36,516 PLEASE. [ORGAN PLAYS] NOW I'VE GOT HERE AN ORDINARY 1351 00:49:36,540 --> 00:49:37,418 [ORGAN PLAYS] NOW I'VE GOT HERE AN ORDINARY PACK OF PLAYING CARDS. 1352 00:49:37,442 --> 00:49:38,485 NOW I'VE GOT HERE AN ORDINARY PACK OF PLAYING CARDS. NOW, THERE'S NOTHING UP MY 1353 00:49:38,509 --> 00:49:39,619 PACK OF PLAYING CARDS. NOW, THERE'S NOTHING UP MY SLEEVES, AND I'M GONNA PROVE 1354 00:49:39,643 --> 00:49:40,787 NOW, THERE'S NOTHING UP MY SLEEVES, AND I'M GONNA PROVE THAT THE SPIRITS CAN TALK AND 1355 00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:41,989 SLEEVES, AND I'M GONNA PROVE THAT THE SPIRITS CAN TALK AND HOPEFULLY JONATHAN WILL HELP US 1356 00:49:42,013 --> 00:49:42,756 THAT THE SPIRITS CAN TALK AND HOPEFULLY JONATHAN WILL HELP US OUT A LITTLE BIT. 1357 00:49:42,780 --> 00:49:45,259 HOPEFULLY JONATHAN WILL HELP US OUT A LITTLE BIT. NOW GO AHEAD... PICK A CARD. 1358 00:49:45,283 --> 00:49:46,760 OUT A LITTLE BIT. NOW GO AHEAD... PICK A CARD. HEY, NOW, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH 1359 00:49:46,784 --> 00:49:47,828 NOW GO AHEAD... PICK A CARD. HEY, NOW, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, GARY? 1360 00:49:47,852 --> 00:49:49,596 HEY, NOW, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, GARY? HEY, NOW, DID YOU WANT TO BE MY 1361 00:49:49,620 --> 00:49:51,531 YOU, GARY? HEY, NOW, DID YOU WANT TO BE MY LITTLE ASSISTANT, TOO? 1362 00:49:51,555 --> 00:49:53,000 HEY, NOW, DID YOU WANT TO BE MY LITTLE ASSISTANT, TOO? YOU KNUCKLEHEAD, YOU WANT TO BE 1363 00:49:53,024 --> 00:49:53,733 LITTLE ASSISTANT, TOO? YOU KNUCKLEHEAD, YOU WANT TO BE MY ASSISTANT? 1364 00:49:53,757 --> 00:49:54,568 YOU KNUCKLEHEAD, YOU WANT TO BE MY ASSISTANT? COME ON UP HERE! 1365 00:49:54,592 --> 00:49:55,702 MY ASSISTANT? COME ON UP HERE! I'M GONNA NEED TWO ASSISTANTS. 1366 00:49:55,726 --> 00:49:56,703 COME ON UP HERE! I'M GONNA NEED TWO ASSISTANTS. GET UP HERE, GARY. 1367 00:49:56,727 --> 00:49:58,072 I'M GONNA NEED TWO ASSISTANTS. GET UP HERE, GARY. OKAY, NOW YOU CAN HOLD THE DECK. 1368 00:49:58,096 --> 00:49:59,073 GET UP HERE, GARY. OKAY, NOW YOU CAN HOLD THE DECK. HERE, YOU HOLD THE DECK. 1369 00:49:59,097 --> 00:50:00,774 OKAY, NOW YOU CAN HOLD THE DECK. HERE, YOU HOLD THE DECK. ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHEN I SAY GO, I 1370 00:50:00,798 --> 00:50:01,942 HERE, YOU HOLD THE DECK. ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHEN I SAY GO, I WANT YOU TO LEAD THE 1371 00:50:01,966 --> 00:50:03,510 ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHEN I SAY GO, I WANT YOU TO LEAD THE CONGREGATION IN SAYING, "YES, 1372 00:50:03,534 --> 00:50:04,744 WANT YOU TO LEAD THE CONGREGATION IN SAYING, "YES, THE SPIRITS CAN TALK." 1373 00:50:04,768 --> 00:50:06,080 CONGREGATION IN SAYING, "YES, THE SPIRITS CAN TALK." WILL YOU DO THAT FOR ME, GARY? 1374 00:50:06,104 --> 00:50:06,513 THE SPIRITS CAN TALK." WILL YOU DO THAT FOR ME, GARY? OKAY. 1375 00:50:06,537 --> 00:50:07,714 WILL YOU DO THAT FOR ME, GARY? OKAY. MRS. GILSRACK, HAVE YOU STILL 1376 00:50:07,738 --> 00:50:08,282 OKAY. MRS. GILSRACK, HAVE YOU STILL GOT THE CARD? 1377 00:50:08,306 --> 00:50:08,849 MRS. GILSRACK, HAVE YOU STILL GOT THE CARD? YES, I... 1378 00:50:08,873 --> 00:50:09,649 GOT THE CARD? YES, I... FABULOUS. 1379 00:50:09,673 --> 00:50:11,318 YES, I... FABULOUS. OKAY, GARY, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO? 1380 00:50:11,342 --> 00:50:12,319 FABULOUS. OKAY, GARY, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO? TERRIFIC. OKAY. 1381 00:50:12,343 --> 00:50:13,187 OKAY, GARY, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO? TERRIFIC. OKAY. ARE YOU READY? 1382 00:50:13,211 --> 00:50:13,854 TERRIFIC. OKAY. ARE YOU READY? GARY. 1383 00:50:13,878 --> 00:50:16,223 ARE YOU READY? GARY. YES, THE SPIRITS CAN TALK. 1384 00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:17,557 GARY. YES, THE SPIRITS CAN TALK. COME ON... EVERYBODY NOW. 1385 00:50:17,581 --> 00:50:18,625 YES, THE SPIRITS CAN TALK. COME ON... EVERYBODY NOW. COME ON. 1386 00:50:18,649 --> 00:50:19,326 COME ON... EVERYBODY NOW. COME ON. OH, COME ON! 1387 00:50:19,350 --> 00:50:20,827 COME ON. OH, COME ON! YOU COULDN'T RAISE A FLAG, LET 1388 00:50:20,851 --> 00:50:21,661 OH, COME ON! YOU COULDN'T RAISE A FLAG, LET ALONE THE DEAD! 1389 00:50:21,685 --> 00:50:22,662 YOU COULDN'T RAISE A FLAG, LET ALONE THE DEAD! NOW, COME ON! LET'S HEAR IT! 1390 00:50:22,686 --> 00:50:23,763 ALONE THE DEAD! NOW, COME ON! LET'S HEAR IT! THE SPIRITS CAN TALK! 1391 00:50:23,787 --> 00:50:25,366 NOW, COME ON! LET'S HEAR IT! THE SPIRITS CAN TALK! ALL RIGHT, NOW, JONATHAN, WHAT'S 1392 00:50:25,390 --> 00:50:26,100 THE SPIRITS CAN TALK! ALL RIGHT, NOW, JONATHAN, WHAT'S THE CARD? 1393 00:50:26,124 --> 00:50:27,601 ALL RIGHT, NOW, JONATHAN, WHAT'S THE CARD? WHAT? 1394 00:50:27,625 --> 00:50:28,835 THE CARD? WHAT? HE SAYS HE LOVES THE SERVICE! 1395 00:50:28,859 --> 00:50:29,936 WHAT? HE SAYS HE LOVES THE SERVICE! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY? 1396 00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:30,704 HE SAYS HE LOVES THE SERVICE! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY? GET OUT OF HERE! 1397 00:50:30,728 --> 00:50:32,439 CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY? GET OUT OF HERE! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 1398 00:50:32,463 --> 00:50:33,940 GET OUT OF HERE! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? HE WON'T TELL ME! 1399 00:50:33,964 --> 00:50:34,608 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? HE WON'T TELL ME! JONATHAN! 1400 00:50:34,632 --> 00:50:36,043 HE WON'T TELL ME! JONATHAN! TELL ME WHAT THE CARD IS! 1401 00:50:36,067 --> 00:50:37,611 JONATHAN! TELL ME WHAT THE CARD IS! TELL HIM, JONATHAN! 1402 00:50:37,635 --> 00:50:39,046 TELL ME WHAT THE CARD IS! TELL HIM, JONATHAN! WHAT? 1403 00:50:39,070 --> 00:50:40,080 TELL HIM, JONATHAN! WHAT? ALL RIGHT, JONATHAN. 1404 00:50:40,104 --> 00:50:41,848 WHAT? ALL RIGHT, JONATHAN. JONATHAN HAS TOLD ME THAT YOUR 1405 00:50:41,872 --> 00:50:44,351 ALL RIGHT, JONATHAN. JONATHAN HAS TOLD ME THAT YOUR CARD IS THE 9 OF DIAMONDS. 1406 00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:46,253 JONATHAN HAS TOLD ME THAT YOUR CARD IS THE 9 OF DIAMONDS. IS THAT CORRECT? 1407 00:50:46,277 --> 00:50:47,254 CARD IS THE 9 OF DIAMONDS. IS THAT CORRECT? THE 9 OF DIAMONDS. 1408 00:50:47,278 --> 00:50:50,090 IS THAT CORRECT? THE 9 OF DIAMONDS. NO, IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES. 1409 00:50:50,114 --> 00:50:51,225 THE 9 OF DIAMONDS. NO, IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES. WHAT? 1410 00:50:51,249 --> 00:50:53,727 NO, IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES. WHAT? IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES. 1411 00:50:53,751 --> 00:50:54,395 WHAT? IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES. [SIGHS] 1412 00:50:54,419 --> 00:50:55,795 IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES. [SIGHS] A MISERABLE MISTAKE. 1413 00:50:55,819 --> 00:50:58,132 [SIGHS] A MISERABLE MISTAKE. WELL, I GUESS THE DEAD STAY 1414 00:50:58,156 --> 00:51:00,167 A MISERABLE MISTAKE. WELL, I GUESS THE DEAD STAY WHERE THEY ARE... DEAD. 1415 00:51:00,191 --> 00:51:01,168 WELL, I GUESS THE DEAD STAY WHERE THEY ARE... DEAD. [CRYING] 1416 00:51:01,192 --> 00:51:02,169 WHERE THEY ARE... DEAD. [CRYING] NO, WAIT. 1417 00:51:02,193 --> 00:51:03,170 [CRYING] NO, WAIT. WHAT'S THAT? 1418 00:51:03,194 --> 00:51:04,871 NO, WAIT. WHAT'S THAT? WHAT DO YOU SAY, JONATHAN? 1419 00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:05,605 WHAT'S THAT? WHAT DO YOU SAY, JONATHAN? WHAT?! 1420 00:51:05,629 --> 00:51:07,474 WHAT DO YOU SAY, JONATHAN? WHAT?! LOOK IN HIS POCKET? 1421 00:51:07,498 --> 00:51:09,476 WHAT?! LOOK IN HIS POCKET? WELL, ALL RIGHT, IF YOU SAY SO. 1422 00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:11,645 LOOK IN HIS POCKET? WELL, ALL RIGHT, IF YOU SAY SO. THE 7 OF SPADES, EVERYBODY! 1423 00:51:11,669 --> 00:51:12,846 WELL, ALL RIGHT, IF YOU SAY SO. THE 7 OF SPADES, EVERYBODY! COME ON. 1424 00:51:12,870 --> 00:51:14,481 THE 7 OF SPADES, EVERYBODY! COME ON. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 1425 00:51:14,505 --> 00:51:15,649 COME ON. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THANKS FOR... WEREN'T THEY 1426 00:51:15,673 --> 00:51:16,750 THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THANKS FOR... WEREN'T THEY TERRIFIC FOR HELPING? 1427 00:51:16,774 --> 00:51:17,984 THANKS FOR... WEREN'T THEY TERRIFIC FOR HELPING? GARY, YOU WERE TERRIFIC FOR 1428 00:51:18,008 --> 00:51:18,785 TERRIFIC FOR HELPING? GARY, YOU WERE TERRIFIC FOR HELPING OUT. 1429 00:51:18,809 --> 00:51:19,486 GARY, YOU WERE TERRIFIC FOR HELPING OUT. TERRIFIC. 1430 00:51:19,510 --> 00:51:20,620 HELPING OUT. TERRIFIC. I'M GONNA NEED THIS DECK. 1431 00:51:20,644 --> 00:51:21,288 TERRIFIC. I'M GONNA NEED THIS DECK. THANK YOU. 1432 00:51:21,312 --> 00:51:22,189 I'M GONNA NEED THIS DECK. THANK YOU. TERRIFIC. 1433 00:51:22,213 --> 00:51:23,690 THANK YOU. TERRIFIC. NOW, MY NEXT TRICK IS A SPECIAL 1434 00:51:23,714 --> 00:51:25,059 TERRIFIC. NOW, MY NEXT TRICK IS A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO THE DECEASED AND, 1435 00:51:25,083 --> 00:51:26,527 NOW, MY NEXT TRICK IS A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO THE DECEASED AND, FOR THAT, I'M GONNA BRING BACK 1436 00:51:26,551 --> 00:51:27,827 TRIBUTE TO THE DECEASED AND, FOR THAT, I'M GONNA BRING BACK MR. JOHN HOLSE. 1437 00:51:27,851 --> 00:51:29,263 FOR THAT, I'M GONNA BRING BACK MR. JOHN HOLSE. JOHN? 1438 00:51:29,287 --> 00:51:31,365 MR. JOHN HOLSE. JOHN? NOW, AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS CASKET 1439 00:51:31,389 --> 00:51:33,300 JOHN? NOW, AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS CASKET IS A SOLID WOOD CASKET WITH NO 1440 00:51:33,324 --> 00:51:34,268 NOW, AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS CASKET IS A SOLID WOOD CASKET WITH NO TRAP DOORS. 1441 00:51:34,292 --> 00:51:35,269 IS A SOLID WOOD CASKET WITH NO TRAP DOORS. TELL THEM ABOUT IT, JOHN, WOULD 1442 00:51:35,293 --> 00:51:35,735 TRAP DOORS. TELL THEM ABOUT IT, JOHN, WOULD YOU, PLEASE? 1443 00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:36,703 TELL THEM ABOUT IT, JOHN, WOULD YOU, PLEASE? HE'S LYING IN A 1444 00:51:36,727 --> 00:51:38,205 YOU, PLEASE? HE'S LYING IN A HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR'S EXCLUSIVE 1445 00:51:38,229 --> 00:51:39,673 HE'S LYING IN A HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR'S EXCLUSIVE DRY WEIGHT EARTHMASTER CASKET. 1446 00:51:39,697 --> 00:51:41,075 HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR'S EXCLUSIVE DRY WEIGHT EARTHMASTER CASKET. IT'S A FULL MAHOGANY BOX WITH A 1447 00:51:41,099 --> 00:51:42,509 DRY WEIGHT EARTHMASTER CASKET. IT'S A FULL MAHOGANY BOX WITH A FLANNEL COVERING AND THREE FULL 1448 00:51:42,533 --> 00:51:43,877 IT'S A FULL MAHOGANY BOX WITH A FLANNEL COVERING AND THREE FULL INCHES OF VINYL TEFLAC SEALANT 1449 00:51:43,901 --> 00:51:45,312 FLANNEL COVERING AND THREE FULL INCHES OF VINYL TEFLAC SEALANT TO PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES FROM 1450 00:51:45,336 --> 00:51:46,480 INCHES OF VINYL TEFLAC SEALANT TO PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES FROM WEATHERING, MOISTURE, AND 1451 00:51:46,504 --> 00:51:47,981 TO PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES FROM WEATHERING, MOISTURE, AND INSECTS FOR 99 YEARS. 1452 00:51:48,005 --> 00:51:49,516 WEATHERING, MOISTURE, AND INSECTS FOR 99 YEARS. ANOTHER THICK, STRONG CASKET 1453 00:51:49,540 --> 00:51:51,318 INSECTS FOR 99 YEARS. ANOTHER THICK, STRONG CASKET FROM THE PEOPLE AT EARTHMASTER. 1454 00:51:51,342 --> 00:51:52,486 ANOTHER THICK, STRONG CASKET FROM THE PEOPLE AT EARTHMASTER. OKAY, EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN 1455 00:51:52,510 --> 00:51:53,387 FROM THE PEOPLE AT EARTHMASTER. OKAY, EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN THERE, JONATHAN? 1456 00:51:53,411 --> 00:51:54,421 OKAY, EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN THERE, JONATHAN? "S'ALRIGHT!" 1457 00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:55,789 THERE, JONATHAN? "S'ALRIGHT!" GET OUT OF HERE, YOU NUT! 1458 00:51:55,813 --> 00:51:57,924 "S'ALRIGHT!" GET OUT OF HERE, YOU NUT! OKAY, NOW THIS IS A TRICK FIRST 1459 00:51:57,948 --> 00:51:59,960 GET OUT OF HERE, YOU NUT! OKAY, NOW THIS IS A TRICK FIRST DESIGNED BY THE FAMOUS FRENCH 1460 00:51:59,984 --> 00:52:02,129 OKAY, NOW THIS IS A TRICK FIRST DESIGNED BY THE FAMOUS FRENCH PSYCHOLOGIST, DR. EMILE QUAY. 1461 00:52:02,153 --> 00:52:04,030 DESIGNED BY THE FAMOUS FRENCH PSYCHOLOGIST, DR. EMILE QUAY. THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS ONCE QUOTED 1462 00:52:04,054 --> 00:52:06,467 PSYCHOLOGIST, DR. EMILE QUAY. THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS ONCE QUOTED AS SAYING, "DEAD MEN FEEL NO 1463 00:52:06,491 --> 00:52:10,270 THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS ONCE QUOTED AS SAYING, "DEAD MEN FEEL NO PAIN." 1464 00:52:10,294 --> 00:52:12,672 AS SAYING, "DEAD MEN FEEL NO PAIN." LET'S HOPE THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS 1465 00:52:12,696 --> 00:52:13,240 PAIN." LET'S HOPE THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS RIGHT. 1466 00:52:13,264 --> 00:52:14,708 LET'S HOPE THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS RIGHT. [SUSPENSEFUL ORGAN MUSIC 1467 00:52:14,732 --> 00:52:17,911 RIGHT. [SUSPENSEFUL ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS] 1468 00:52:17,935 --> 00:52:20,514 [SUSPENSEFUL ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS] [GASPS] 1469 00:52:20,538 --> 00:52:22,471 [PLAYS] [GASPS] OH, MY GOD! 1470 00:52:32,149 --> 00:52:40,149 [GRUNTING] [APPLAUSE] NOW THE HARD PART! 1471 00:52:49,366 --> 00:52:54,047 DON'T BLINK YOUR EYES OR YOU'LL MISS JONATHAN GILSRACK! 1, 2, 3! 1472 00:52:54,071 --> 00:52:55,849 MISS JONATHAN GILSRACK! 1, 2, 3! THERE HE IS! 1473 00:52:55,873 --> 00:52:58,285 1, 2, 3! THERE HE IS! [APPLAUSE] 1474 00:52:58,309 --> 00:52:59,085 THERE HE IS! [APPLAUSE] THANK YOU. 1475 00:52:59,109 --> 00:53:00,420 [APPLAUSE] THANK YOU. THAT DIDN'T HURT A BIT, DID IT, 1476 00:53:00,444 --> 00:53:00,920 THANK YOU. THAT DIDN'T HURT A BIT, DID IT, JONATHAN? 1477 00:53:00,944 --> 00:53:02,122 THAT DIDN'T HURT A BIT, DID IT, JONATHAN? HE'S A GOOD SPORT, ISN'T HE? 1478 00:53:02,146 --> 00:53:03,123 JONATHAN? HE'S A GOOD SPORT, ISN'T HE? HE'S TERRIFIC. 1479 00:53:03,147 --> 00:53:04,358 HE'S A GOOD SPORT, ISN'T HE? HE'S TERRIFIC. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 1480 00:53:04,382 --> 00:53:05,359 HE'S TERRIFIC. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. JOHN HOLSE, LADIES AND 1481 00:53:05,383 --> 00:53:05,925 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. JOHN HOLSE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 1482 00:53:05,949 --> 00:53:06,493 JOHN HOLSE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THANK YOU. 1483 00:53:06,517 --> 00:53:10,864 GENTLEMEN. THANK YOU. [APPLAUSE] 1484 00:53:10,888 --> 00:53:12,132 THANK YOU. [APPLAUSE] WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 1485 00:53:12,156 --> 00:53:14,100 [APPLAUSE] WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I HOPE YOU HAD A LITTLE BIT OF 1486 00:53:14,124 --> 00:53:15,935 WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I HOPE YOU HAD A LITTLE BIT OF SUNSHINE PUT INTO YOUR DAY. 1487 00:53:15,959 --> 00:53:17,404 I HOPE YOU HAD A LITTLE BIT OF SUNSHINE PUT INTO YOUR DAY. LOOK, WHEN YOU'RE LEAVING, DRIVE 1488 00:53:17,428 --> 00:53:18,872 SUNSHINE PUT INTO YOUR DAY. LOOK, WHEN YOU'RE LEAVING, DRIVE CAREFULLY, AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE 1489 00:53:18,896 --> 00:53:20,340 LOOK, WHEN YOU'RE LEAVING, DRIVE CAREFULLY, AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE A CAR AND YOU'RE WALKING, WATCH 1490 00:53:20,364 --> 00:53:21,241 CAREFULLY, AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE A CAR AND YOU'RE WALKING, WATCH OUT FOR THE RAIN. 1491 00:53:21,265 --> 00:53:23,043 A CAR AND YOU'RE WALKING, WATCH OUT FOR THE RAIN. BUT JUST REMEMBER THAT... 1492 00:53:23,067 --> 00:53:24,711 OUT FOR THE RAIN. BUT JUST REMEMBER THAT... ♪ GRAY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR 1493 00:53:24,735 --> 00:53:25,546 BUT JUST REMEMBER THAT... ♪ GRAY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR UP ♪ 1494 00:53:25,570 --> 00:53:26,913 ♪ GRAY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR UP ♪ COME ON, YOU KNOW THE WORDS. 1495 00:53:26,937 --> 00:53:28,615 UP ♪ COME ON, YOU KNOW THE WORDS. ♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪ 1496 00:53:28,639 --> 00:53:30,217 COME ON, YOU KNOW THE WORDS. ♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪ YOU KNOW THE WORDS, GARY! 1497 00:53:30,241 --> 00:53:32,252 ♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪ YOU KNOW THE WORDS, GARY! ♪ WIPE OFF THAT FROWN AND CHEER 1498 00:53:32,276 --> 00:53:33,253 YOU KNOW THE WORDS, GARY! ♪ WIPE OFF THAT FROWN AND CHEER UP ♪ 1499 00:53:33,277 --> 00:53:36,323 ♪ WIPE OFF THAT FROWN AND CHEER UP ♪ ♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪ 1500 00:53:36,347 --> 00:53:41,295 UP ♪ ♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪ ♪ AND SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER 1501 00:53:41,319 --> 00:53:42,162 ♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪ ♪ AND SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER THE PLACE ♪ 1502 00:53:42,186 --> 00:53:43,297 ♪ AND SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER THE PLACE ♪ COME ON, JOHNNY! 1503 00:53:43,321 --> 00:53:48,023 THE PLACE ♪ COME ON, JOHNNY! ♪ JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪ 1504 00:53:59,703 --> 00:54:04,084 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ANDY KAUFMAN. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1505 00:54:04,108 --> 00:54:06,348 ANDY KAUFMAN. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] 1506 00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:31,960 ♪ O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-K- LAHOMA, WHERE THE WIND COMES SWEEPING DOWN THE PLAIN ♪ 1507 00:54:32,002 --> 00:54:34,381 LAHOMA, WHERE THE WIND COMES SWEEPING DOWN THE PLAIN ♪ ♪ AND THE WAVING WHEAT 1508 00:54:34,405 --> 00:54:36,250 SWEEPING DOWN THE PLAIN ♪ ♪ AND THE WAVING WHEAT CAN SURE SMELL SWEET ♪ 1509 00:54:36,274 --> 00:54:38,485 ♪ AND THE WAVING WHEAT CAN SURE SMELL SWEET ♪ ♪ AS THE WIND COMES RIGHT BEHIND 1510 00:54:38,509 --> 00:54:40,520 CAN SURE SMELL SWEET ♪ ♪ AS THE WIND COMES RIGHT BEHIND THE RAIN ♪ 1511 00:54:40,544 --> 00:54:43,290 ♪ AS THE WIND COMES RIGHT BEHIND THE RAIN ♪ ♪ O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-K- 1512 00:54:43,314 --> 00:54:46,126 THE RAIN ♪ ♪ O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-K- LAHOMA, EVERY NIGHT MY HONEY 1513 00:54:46,150 --> 00:54:47,994 ♪ O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-K- LAHOMA, EVERY NIGHT MY HONEY LAMB AND I ♪ 1514 00:54:48,018 --> 00:54:50,230 LAHOMA, EVERY NIGHT MY HONEY LAMB AND I ♪ ♪ SIT ALONE AND TALK 1515 00:54:50,254 --> 00:54:52,031 LAMB AND I ♪ ♪ SIT ALONE AND TALK AND WATCH A HAWK ♪ 1516 00:54:52,055 --> 00:54:54,434 ♪ SIT ALONE AND TALK AND WATCH A HAWK ♪ ♪ MAKIN' LAZY CIRCLES IN THE 1517 00:54:54,458 --> 00:54:55,902 AND WATCH A HAWK ♪ ♪ MAKIN' LAZY CIRCLES IN THE SKY ♪ 1518 00:54:55,926 --> 00:54:58,472 ♪ MAKIN' LAZY CIRCLES IN THE SKY ♪ ♪ WE KNOW WE BELONG TO THE 1519 00:54:58,496 --> 00:54:59,839 SKY ♪ ♪ WE KNOW WE BELONG TO THE LAND ♪ 1520 00:54:59,863 --> 00:55:02,142 ♪ WE KNOW WE BELONG TO THE LAND ♪ ♪ AND THE LAND WE BELONG TO 1521 00:55:02,166 --> 00:55:03,510 LAND ♪ ♪ AND THE LAND WE BELONG TO IS GRAND ♪ 1522 00:55:03,534 --> 00:55:06,012 ♪ AND THE LAND WE BELONG TO IS GRAND ♪ ♪ SO WHEN WE SAY 1523 00:55:06,036 --> 00:55:09,949 IS GRAND ♪ ♪ SO WHEN WE SAY YEEOW! AYIPIOEEAY! ♪ 1524 00:55:09,973 --> 00:55:10,684 ♪ SO WHEN WE SAY YEEOW! AYIPIOEEAY! ♪ HO! 1525 00:55:10,708 --> 00:55:12,719 YEEOW! AYIPIOEEAY! ♪ HO! ♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN' 1526 00:55:12,743 --> 00:55:15,088 HO! ♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN' FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪ 1527 00:55:15,112 --> 00:55:16,990 ♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN' FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪ ♪ OKLAHOMA ♪ 1528 00:55:17,014 --> 00:55:19,359 FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪ ♪ OKLAHOMA ♪ ♪ O.K. ♪ 1529 00:55:19,383 --> 00:55:21,317 ♪ OKLAHOMA ♪ ♪ O.K. ♪ [INSTRUMENTAL SOLO] 1530 00:55:34,731 --> 00:55:42,731 ♪ SAY YEEOW! AYIPIOEEAY! ♪ HO! ♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN' 1531 00:55:42,873 --> 00:55:45,218 HO! ♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN' FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪ 1532 00:55:45,242 --> 00:55:47,120 ♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN' FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪ ♪ OKLAHOMA ♪ 1533 00:55:47,144 --> 00:55:50,824 FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪ ♪ OKLAHOMA ♪ ♪ O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A ♪ 1534 00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:54,027 ♪ OKLAHOMA ♪ ♪ O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A ♪ ♪ OKLAHO-O-O-O-O-O-MA! ♪ 1535 00:55:54,051 --> 00:55:54,894 ♪ O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A ♪ ♪ OKLAHO-O-O-O-O-O-MA! ♪ YO! 1536 00:55:54,918 --> 00:55:56,852 ♪ OKLAHO-O-O-O-O-O-MA! ♪ YO! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1537 00:56:06,929 --> 00:56:14,929 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [PIANO PLAYS] ♪ OH, THE COW GOES MOO ♪ 1538 00:56:21,144 --> 00:56:23,590 [PIANO PLAYS] ♪ OH, THE COW GOES MOO ♪ ♪ AND THE BIRD GOES TWEET ♪ 1539 00:56:23,614 --> 00:56:26,360 ♪ OH, THE COW GOES MOO ♪ ♪ AND THE BIRD GOES TWEET ♪ ♪ AND THE DOG GOES WOOF ♪ 1540 00:56:26,384 --> 00:56:28,895 ♪ AND THE BIRD GOES TWEET ♪ ♪ AND THE DOG GOES WOOF ♪ ♪ AND THE CAT GOES MEOW ♪ 1541 00:56:28,919 --> 00:56:31,698 ♪ AND THE DOG GOES WOOF ♪ ♪ AND THE CAT GOES MEOW ♪ ♪ AND THE PIG GOES OINK ♪ 1542 00:56:31,722 --> 00:56:34,768 ♪ AND THE CAT GOES MEOW ♪ ♪ AND THE PIG GOES OINK ♪ ♪ AND THE LION GOES ROAR! ♪ 1543 00:56:34,792 --> 00:56:39,973 ♪ AND THE PIG GOES OINK ♪ ♪ AND THE LION GOES ROAR! ♪ ♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES ♪ 1544 00:56:39,997 --> 00:56:41,508 ♪ AND THE LION GOES ROAR! ♪ ♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES ♪ SAY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA. 1545 00:56:41,532 --> 00:56:43,076 ♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES ♪ SAY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA. LET'S ALL SING THE SONG 1546 00:56:43,100 --> 00:56:45,211 SAY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA. LET'S ALL SING THE SONG TOGETHER, OKAY? 1547 00:56:45,235 --> 00:56:47,046 LET'S ALL SING THE SONG TOGETHER, OKAY? OKAY? 1548 00:56:47,070 --> 00:56:48,281 TOGETHER, OKAY? OKAY? EVERY TIME I SAY "OKAY," 1549 00:56:48,305 --> 00:56:50,417 OKAY? EVERY TIME I SAY "OKAY," EVERYBODY SAY, "OKAY." 1550 00:56:50,441 --> 00:56:51,518 EVERY TIME I SAY "OKAY," EVERYBODY SAY, "OKAY." OKAY? 1551 00:56:51,542 --> 00:56:52,586 EVERYBODY SAY, "OKAY." OKAY? All: OKAY! 1552 00:56:52,610 --> 00:56:53,687 OKAY? All: OKAY! OKAY. 1553 00:56:53,711 --> 00:56:55,154 All: OKAY! OKAY. All: OKAY. 1554 00:56:55,178 --> 00:56:56,089 OKAY. All: OKAY. OKAY. 1555 00:56:56,113 --> 00:56:58,425 All: OKAY. OKAY. All: OKAY. 1556 00:56:58,449 --> 00:56:59,125 OKAY. All: OKAY. OKAY. 1557 00:56:59,149 --> 00:57:00,494 All: OKAY. OKAY. All: OKAY. 1558 00:57:00,518 --> 00:57:01,695 OKAY. All: OKAY. OKAY, NOW WHEN... 1559 00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:03,864 All: OKAY. OKAY, NOW WHEN... All: OKAY. 1560 00:57:03,888 --> 00:57:04,798 OKAY, NOW WHEN... All: OKAY. OKAY. 1561 00:57:04,822 --> 00:57:06,400 All: OKAY. OKAY. All: OKAY. 1562 00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:07,734 OKAY. All: OKAY. OH, OKAY. 1563 00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:09,202 All: OKAY. OH, OKAY. All: OKAY. 1564 00:57:09,226 --> 00:57:11,037 OH, OKAY. All: OKAY. NOW, WHEN WE GET TO THE LION, 1565 00:57:11,061 --> 00:57:13,139 All: OKAY. NOW, WHEN WE GET TO THE LION, EVERYBODY SAY, "ROAR!" REAL, 1566 00:57:13,163 --> 00:57:14,173 NOW, WHEN WE GET TO THE LION, EVERYBODY SAY, "ROAR!" REAL, REAL LOUD. 1567 00:57:14,197 --> 00:57:15,409 EVERYBODY SAY, "ROAR!" REAL, REAL LOUD. LET'S TRY IT. 1568 00:57:15,433 --> 00:57:18,011 REAL LOUD. LET'S TRY IT. 1, 2, 3. 1569 00:57:18,035 --> 00:57:19,379 LET'S TRY IT. 1, 2, 3. All: [Weakly] ROAR! 1570 00:57:19,403 --> 00:57:20,647 1, 2, 3. All: [Weakly] ROAR! OH, COME ON, NOW. 1571 00:57:20,671 --> 00:57:22,015 All: [Weakly] ROAR! OH, COME ON, NOW. YOU COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT. 1572 00:57:22,039 --> 00:57:24,384 OH, COME ON, NOW. YOU COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT. 1, 2, 3! 1573 00:57:24,408 --> 00:57:26,420 YOU COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT. 1, 2, 3! All: ROAR! 1574 00:57:26,444 --> 00:57:28,054 1, 2, 3! All: ROAR! VERY GOOD. 1575 00:57:28,078 --> 00:57:29,756 All: ROAR! VERY GOOD. AND WE'LL ALL SING 1576 00:57:29,780 --> 00:57:32,225 VERY GOOD. AND WE'LL ALL SING "AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES" 1577 00:57:32,249 --> 00:57:34,027 AND WE'LL ALL SING "AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES" TOGETHER, OKAY? 1578 00:57:34,051 --> 00:57:35,194 "AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES" TOGETHER, OKAY? All: OKAY. 1579 00:57:35,218 --> 00:57:36,029 TOGETHER, OKAY? All: OKAY. OKAY. 1580 00:57:36,053 --> 00:57:38,932 All: OKAY. OKAY. All: OKAY. 1581 00:57:38,956 --> 00:57:43,837 OKAY. All: OKAY. [PIANO PLAYS] 1582 00:57:43,861 --> 00:57:47,040 All: OKAY. [PIANO PLAYS] ♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪ 1583 00:57:47,064 --> 00:57:48,542 [PIANO PLAYS] ♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪ All: [Weakly] MOO. 1584 00:57:48,566 --> 00:57:49,843 ♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪ All: [Weakly] MOO. OH, COME ON, NOW. 1585 00:57:49,867 --> 00:57:51,411 All: [Weakly] MOO. OH, COME ON, NOW. OH... COME ON, EVERYBODY! 1586 00:57:51,435 --> 00:57:53,413 OH, COME ON, NOW. OH... COME ON, EVERYBODY! ♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪ 1587 00:57:53,437 --> 00:57:54,481 OH... COME ON, EVERYBODY! ♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪ All: MOO! 1588 00:57:54,505 --> 00:57:56,483 ♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪ All: MOO! ♪ AND THE DOG GOES... ♪ 1589 00:57:56,507 --> 00:57:57,484 All: MOO! ♪ AND THE DOG GOES... ♪ All: WOOF! 1590 00:57:57,508 --> 00:57:59,619 ♪ AND THE DOG GOES... ♪ All: WOOF! ♪ AND THE CAT GOES... ♪ 1591 00:57:59,643 --> 00:58:00,620 All: WOOF! ♪ AND THE CAT GOES... ♪ All: MEOW! 1592 00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:02,756 ♪ AND THE CAT GOES... ♪ All: MEOW! ♪ AND THE BIRD GOES... ♪ 1593 00:58:02,780 --> 00:58:03,790 All: MEOW! ♪ AND THE BIRD GOES... ♪ All: TWEET! 1594 00:58:03,814 --> 00:58:05,926 ♪ AND THE BIRD GOES... ♪ All: TWEET! ♪ AND THE PIG GOES... ♪ 1595 00:58:05,950 --> 00:58:06,860 All: TWEET! ♪ AND THE PIG GOES... ♪ All: OINK! 1596 00:58:06,884 --> 00:58:09,195 ♪ AND THE PIG GOES... ♪ All: OINK! ♪ AND THE LION GOES... ♪ 1597 00:58:09,219 --> 00:58:10,897 All: OINK! ♪ AND THE LION GOES... ♪ All: ROAR! 1598 00:58:10,921 --> 00:58:13,934 ♪ AND THE LION GOES... ♪ All: ROAR! ♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT 1599 00:58:13,958 --> 00:58:16,903 All: ROAR! ♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES ♪ 1600 00:58:16,927 --> 00:58:23,643 ♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES ♪ [APPLAUSE] 1601 00:58:23,667 --> 00:58:29,749 GOES ♪ [APPLAUSE] [UP-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYS] 1602 00:58:29,773 --> 00:58:31,707 [APPLAUSE] [UP-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYS] [CHEERING] 1603 00:59:23,793 --> 00:59:27,841 ♪ OH, OH ♪ ♪ I LOVE YOU SO ♪ ♪ OH, OH ♪ 1604 00:59:27,865 --> 00:59:29,275 ♪ I LOVE YOU SO ♪ ♪ OH, OH ♪ ♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪ 1605 00:59:29,299 --> 00:59:30,577 ♪ OH, OH ♪ ♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH ♪ 1606 00:59:30,601 --> 00:59:32,311 ♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪ 1607 00:59:32,335 --> 00:59:34,681 ♪ OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ 1608 00:59:34,705 --> 00:59:36,449 ♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ OH, GEE, 1609 00:59:36,473 --> 00:59:37,483 ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ OH, GEE, THE WAY YOU KISS ♪ 1610 00:59:37,507 --> 00:59:38,985 ♪ OH, GEE, THE WAY YOU KISS ♪ ♪ SWEETIE, 1611 00:59:39,009 --> 00:59:40,319 THE WAY YOU KISS ♪ ♪ SWEETIE, TOO GOOD TO MISS ♪ 1612 00:59:40,343 --> 00:59:41,621 ♪ SWEETIE, TOO GOOD TO MISS ♪ ♪ WOW-WHEE, 1613 00:59:41,645 --> 00:59:43,356 TOO GOOD TO MISS ♪ ♪ WOW-WHEE, I WANT MORE OF THIS ♪ 1614 00:59:43,380 --> 00:59:46,192 ♪ WOW-WHEE, I WANT MORE OF THIS ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ 1615 00:59:46,216 --> 00:59:48,028 I WANT MORE OF THIS ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING JUST FOR 1616 00:59:48,052 --> 00:59:49,062 ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING JUST FOR TONIGHT ♪ 1617 00:59:49,086 --> 00:59:50,931 ♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING JUST FOR TONIGHT ♪ ♪ TO DO SOME LOVIN' AND HOLD YOU 1618 00:59:50,955 --> 00:59:51,765 TONIGHT ♪ ♪ TO DO SOME LOVIN' AND HOLD YOU TIGHT ♪ 1619 00:59:51,789 --> 00:59:53,833 ♪ TO DO SOME LOVIN' AND HOLD YOU TIGHT ♪ ♪ DON'T TELL ME, BABY, YOU GOTTA 1620 00:59:53,857 --> 00:59:54,267 TIGHT ♪ ♪ DON'T TELL ME, BABY, YOU GOTTA GO ♪ 1621 00:59:54,291 --> 00:59:56,036 ♪ DON'T TELL ME, BABY, YOU GOTTA GO ♪ ♪ I GOT THE HI-FI HIGH AND THE 1622 00:59:56,060 --> 00:59:57,303 GO ♪ ♪ I GOT THE HI-FI HIGH AND THE LIGHTS DOWN LOW ♪ 1623 00:59:57,327 --> 00:59:58,672 ♪ I GOT THE HI-FI HIGH AND THE LIGHTS DOWN LOW ♪ ♪ HEY, NOW, 1624 00:59:58,696 --> 00:59:59,973 LIGHTS DOWN LOW ♪ ♪ HEY, NOW, HEAR WHAT I SAY ♪ 1625 00:59:59,997 --> 01:00:01,441 ♪ HEY, NOW, HEAR WHAT I SAY ♪ ♪ OH, WOW, 1626 01:00:01,465 --> 01:00:02,709 HEAR WHAT I SAY ♪ ♪ OH, WOW, YOU BETTER STAY ♪ 1627 01:00:02,733 --> 01:00:04,077 ♪ OH, WOW, YOU BETTER STAY ♪ ♪ POW POW, 1628 01:00:04,101 --> 01:00:05,712 YOU BETTER STAY ♪ ♪ POW POW, DON'T RUN AWAY ♪ 1629 01:00:05,736 --> 01:00:07,614 ♪ POW POW, DON'T RUN AWAY ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ 1630 01:00:07,638 --> 01:00:08,414 DON'T RUN AWAY ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ALL RIGHT! 1631 01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:16,438 ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ALL RIGHT! [GUITAR SOLO] 1632 01:00:16,647 --> 01:00:19,292 ALL RIGHT! [GUITAR SOLO] ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ 1633 01:00:19,316 --> 01:00:20,660 [GUITAR SOLO] ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ OH, OH ♪ 1634 01:00:20,684 --> 01:00:22,028 ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ OH, OH ♪ ♪ I LOVE YOU SO ♪ 1635 01:00:22,052 --> 01:00:23,496 ♪ OH, OH ♪ ♪ I LOVE YOU SO ♪ ♪ OH, OH ♪ 1636 01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:24,931 ♪ I LOVE YOU SO ♪ ♪ OH, OH ♪ ♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪ 1637 01:00:24,955 --> 01:00:26,232 ♪ OH, OH ♪ ♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH ♪ 1638 01:00:26,256 --> 01:00:27,968 ♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪ 1639 01:00:27,992 --> 01:00:30,704 ♪ OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ 1640 01:00:30,728 --> 01:00:33,473 ♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ 1641 01:00:33,497 --> 01:00:35,842 ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ 1642 01:00:35,866 --> 01:00:41,314 ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ 1643 01:00:41,338 --> 01:00:44,418 ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1644 01:00:57,486 --> 01:01:05,338 [COUGHING, LAUGHING] LARRY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE AT THE 1645 01:01:05,362 --> 01:01:06,239 LARRY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE AT THE PLAYBOY CLUB. 1646 01:01:06,263 --> 01:01:08,174 WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE AT THE PLAYBOY CLUB. I MEAN, IF YOU WANTED TO MAKE 1647 01:01:08,198 --> 01:01:10,309 PLAYBOY CLUB. I MEAN, IF YOU WANTED TO MAKE LOVE, ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK. 1648 01:01:10,333 --> 01:01:12,045 I MEAN, IF YOU WANTED TO MAKE LOVE, ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK. LISTEN, BOBBI, THE POINT OF 1649 01:01:12,069 --> 01:01:13,613 LOVE, ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK. LISTEN, BOBBI, THE POINT OF THIS PLACE ISN'T SEX, IT'S 1650 01:01:13,637 --> 01:01:14,380 LISTEN, BOBBI, THE POINT OF THIS PLACE ISN'T SEX, IT'S ENTERTAINMENT. 1651 01:01:14,404 --> 01:01:15,481 THIS PLACE ISN'T SEX, IT'S ENTERTAINMENT. MRS. FARBER, HE'S ABSOLUTELY 1652 01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:16,049 ENTERTAINMENT. MRS. FARBER, HE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. 1653 01:01:16,073 --> 01:01:17,316 MRS. FARBER, HE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. I'VE BEEN BRINGING CLIENTS LIKE 1654 01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:18,518 RIGHT. I'VE BEEN BRINGING CLIENTS LIKE YOUR HUSBAND HERE SINCE 1968. 1655 01:01:18,542 --> 01:01:19,853 I'VE BEEN BRINGING CLIENTS LIKE YOUR HUSBAND HERE SINCE 1968. I'VE BEEN A KEYHOLDER SINCE 1656 01:01:19,877 --> 01:01:21,254 YOUR HUSBAND HERE SINCE 1968. I'VE BEEN A KEYHOLDER SINCE 1968, AND I ASSURE YOU NOBODY 1657 01:01:21,278 --> 01:01:22,455 I'VE BEEN A KEYHOLDER SINCE 1968, AND I ASSURE YOU NOBODY MESSES WITH THESE GIRLS. 1658 01:01:22,479 --> 01:01:23,823 1968, AND I ASSURE YOU NOBODY MESSES WITH THESE GIRLS. HEF MAKES THEM TAKE A SPECIAL 1659 01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,291 MESSES WITH THESE GIRLS. HEF MAKES THEM TAKE A SPECIAL DRUG TO GET RID OF THEIR DESIRE. 1660 01:01:25,315 --> 01:01:26,726 HEF MAKES THEM TAKE A SPECIAL DRUG TO GET RID OF THEIR DESIRE. IT'S CUSTOM MADE AT THE PLAYBOY 1661 01:01:26,750 --> 01:01:27,894 DRUG TO GET RID OF THEIR DESIRE. IT'S CUSTOM MADE AT THE PLAYBOY PLEASURE LABS IN LAKE GENEVA, 1662 01:01:27,918 --> 01:01:28,494 IT'S CUSTOM MADE AT THE PLAYBOY PLEASURE LABS IN LAKE GENEVA, WISCONSIN. 1663 01:01:28,518 --> 01:01:30,530 PLEASURE LABS IN LAKE GENEVA, WISCONSIN. I MEAN, I DON'T UNDERSTAND, 1664 01:01:30,554 --> 01:01:31,297 WISCONSIN. I MEAN, I DON'T UNDERSTAND, LARRY. 1665 01:01:31,321 --> 01:01:33,967 I MEAN, I DON'T UNDERSTAND, LARRY. I'M ALWAYS SO GOOD ABOUT SEX, 1666 01:01:33,991 --> 01:01:35,234 LARRY. I'M ALWAYS SO GOOD ABOUT SEX, LIKE THAT TIME WHEN YOU CAME 1667 01:01:35,258 --> 01:01:36,602 I'M ALWAYS SO GOOD ABOUT SEX, LIKE THAT TIME WHEN YOU CAME HOME FROM THE HUNTING TRIP AND 1668 01:01:36,626 --> 01:01:38,004 LIKE THAT TIME WHEN YOU CAME HOME FROM THE HUNTING TRIP AND YOU HADN'T WASHED FOR TWO WEEKS 1669 01:01:38,028 --> 01:01:39,372 HOME FROM THE HUNTING TRIP AND YOU HADN'T WASHED FOR TWO WEEKS AND YOU WERE CARRYING THAT DEAD 1670 01:01:39,396 --> 01:01:40,006 YOU HADN'T WASHED FOR TWO WEEKS AND YOU WERE CARRYING THAT DEAD MOOSE MEAT. 1671 01:01:40,030 --> 01:01:41,107 AND YOU WERE CARRYING THAT DEAD MOOSE MEAT. OH, HE MAKES THEM TAKE A 1672 01:01:41,131 --> 01:01:41,641 MOOSE MEAT. OH, HE MAKES THEM TAKE A DRUG, HUH? 1673 01:01:41,665 --> 01:01:42,776 OH, HE MAKES THEM TAKE A DRUG, HUH? HEF'S GOT HIS OWN PRIVATE 1674 01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:44,044 DRUG, HUH? HEF'S GOT HIS OWN PRIVATE BEDROOM IN EVERY PLAYBOY CLUB IN 1675 01:01:44,068 --> 01:01:44,844 HEF'S GOT HIS OWN PRIVATE BEDROOM IN EVERY PLAYBOY CLUB IN THE UNITED STATES. 1676 01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:45,845 BEDROOM IN EVERY PLAYBOY CLUB IN THE UNITED STATES. HE TESTS EVERY BUNNY GIRL 1677 01:01:45,869 --> 01:01:46,412 THE UNITED STATES. HE TESTS EVERY BUNNY GIRL PERSONALLY. 1678 01:01:46,436 --> 01:01:47,647 HE TESTS EVERY BUNNY GIRL PERSONALLY. IF SHE'S NO GOOD, FIRED ON THE 1679 01:01:47,671 --> 01:01:48,181 PERSONALLY. IF SHE'S NO GOOD, FIRED ON THE SPOT. 1680 01:01:48,205 --> 01:01:49,615 IF SHE'S NO GOOD, FIRED ON THE SPOT. HE'S GOT A PRIVATE BEDROOM WITH 1681 01:01:49,639 --> 01:01:50,917 SPOT. HE'S GOT A PRIVATE BEDROOM WITH A FIVE-DAY FOOD, LIQUOR, AND 1682 01:01:50,941 --> 01:01:51,918 HE'S GOT A PRIVATE BEDROOM WITH A FIVE-DAY FOOD, LIQUOR, AND DRUG SUPPLY IN IT. 1683 01:01:51,942 --> 01:01:52,819 A FIVE-DAY FOOD, LIQUOR, AND DRUG SUPPLY IN IT. [LAUGHING] 1684 01:01:52,843 --> 01:01:53,820 DRUG SUPPLY IN IT. [LAUGHING] HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS? 1685 01:01:53,844 --> 01:01:54,954 [LAUGHING] HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS? WELL, YOU BEEN A KEYHOLDER 1686 01:01:54,978 --> 01:01:55,955 HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS? WELL, YOU BEEN A KEYHOLDER THIS LONG, YOU'RE PARTY TO 1687 01:01:55,979 --> 01:01:57,190 WELL, YOU BEEN A KEYHOLDER THIS LONG, YOU'RE PARTY TO CERTAIN INFORMATION. 1688 01:01:57,214 --> 01:01:58,424 THIS LONG, YOU'RE PARTY TO CERTAIN INFORMATION. YEAH, WELL, LARRY, SERIOUSLY, 1689 01:01:58,448 --> 01:01:59,625 CERTAIN INFORMATION. YEAH, WELL, LARRY, SERIOUSLY, I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO WONDERFUL 1690 01:01:59,649 --> 01:02:00,359 YEAH, WELL, LARRY, SERIOUSLY, I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO WONDERFUL ABOUT THIS PLACE. 1691 01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:02,261 I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO WONDERFUL ABOUT THIS PLACE. I MEAN, THEY BOLT THE ASHTRAYS 1692 01:02:02,285 --> 01:02:04,197 ABOUT THIS PLACE. I MEAN, THEY BOLT THE ASHTRAYS TO THE ARMS OF THE CHAIRS, AND 1693 01:02:04,221 --> 01:02:05,832 I MEAN, THEY BOLT THE ASHTRAYS TO THE ARMS OF THE CHAIRS, AND THEY ALWAYS GIVE YOU THIS 1694 01:02:05,856 --> 01:02:07,734 TO THE ARMS OF THE CHAIRS, AND THEY ALWAYS GIVE YOU THIS LITTLE, TEENY-TINY SALAD PLATE 1695 01:02:07,758 --> 01:02:08,768 THEY ALWAYS GIVE YOU THIS LITTLE, TEENY-TINY SALAD PLATE FOR THE SALAD. 1696 01:02:08,792 --> 01:02:10,170 LITTLE, TEENY-TINY SALAD PLATE FOR THE SALAD. BOY, THAT HUGH HEFNER... 1697 01:02:10,194 --> 01:02:11,237 FOR THE SALAD. BOY, THAT HUGH HEFNER... WHAT A GUY, HUH? 1698 01:02:11,261 --> 01:02:12,839 BOY, THAT HUGH HEFNER... WHAT A GUY, HUH? LARRY. 1699 01:02:12,863 --> 01:02:14,440 WHAT A GUY, HUH? LARRY. I BETCHA HUGH HEFNER DOESN'T 1700 01:02:14,464 --> 01:02:16,209 LARRY. I BETCHA HUGH HEFNER DOESN'T TURN HIS SOCKS INSIDE OUT TO GET 1701 01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:18,311 I BETCHA HUGH HEFNER DOESN'T TURN HIS SOCKS INSIDE OUT TO GET ANOTHER DAY'S WEAR OUT OF THEM. 1702 01:02:18,335 --> 01:02:19,245 TURN HIS SOCKS INSIDE OUT TO GET ANOTHER DAY'S WEAR OUT OF THEM. HEY, LISTEN. 1703 01:02:19,269 --> 01:02:19,846 ANOTHER DAY'S WEAR OUT OF THEM. HEY, LISTEN. OH, WOW. 1704 01:02:19,870 --> 01:02:21,314 HEY, LISTEN. OH, WOW. MR. SCHAEFER, THANK YOU VERY 1705 01:02:21,338 --> 01:02:22,515 OH, WOW. MR. SCHAEFER, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE BUNNY ANKLE 1706 01:02:22,539 --> 01:02:23,482 MR. SCHAEFER, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE BUNNY ANKLE BRACELET. 1707 01:02:23,506 --> 01:02:24,550 MUCH FOR THE BUNNY ANKLE BRACELET. LISTEN TO ME. 1708 01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:25,819 BRACELET. LISTEN TO ME. IS IT TRUE ABOUT HIM HAVING HIS 1709 01:02:25,843 --> 01:02:26,820 LISTEN TO ME. IS IT TRUE ABOUT HIM HAVING HIS OWN BUNNY JET? 1710 01:02:26,844 --> 01:02:27,987 IS IT TRUE ABOUT HIM HAVING HIS OWN BUNNY JET? NOT ONLY DOES HE HAVE HIS OWN 1711 01:02:28,011 --> 01:02:28,988 OWN BUNNY JET? NOT ONLY DOES HE HAVE HIS OWN BUNNY JET, HE'S GOT HIS OWN 1712 01:02:29,012 --> 01:02:29,522 NOT ONLY DOES HE HAVE HIS OWN BUNNY JET, HE'S GOT HIS OWN BUNNY TRAIN. 1713 01:02:29,546 --> 01:02:31,224 BUNNY JET, HE'S GOT HIS OWN BUNNY TRAIN. HE'S GOT HIS OWN NUCLEAR-POWERED 1714 01:02:31,248 --> 01:02:32,692 BUNNY TRAIN. HE'S GOT HIS OWN NUCLEAR-POWERED BUNNY SUB, IN FACT. 1715 01:02:32,716 --> 01:02:33,727 HE'S GOT HIS OWN NUCLEAR-POWERED BUNNY SUB, IN FACT. YEAH, IN THE EVENT OF 1716 01:02:33,751 --> 01:02:34,928 BUNNY SUB, IN FACT. YEAH, IN THE EVENT OF WORLD WAR III, HE DIVES TO THE 1717 01:02:34,952 --> 01:02:35,695 YEAH, IN THE EVENT OF WORLD WAR III, HE DIVES TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA. 1718 01:02:35,719 --> 01:02:36,796 WORLD WAR III, HE DIVES TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA. HE CAN EVADE OR COUNTERATTACK 1719 01:02:36,820 --> 01:02:37,864 BOTTOM OF THE SEA. HE CAN EVADE OR COUNTERATTACK ANY NUCLEAR ANTAGONIST WHILE 1720 01:02:37,888 --> 01:02:38,965 HE CAN EVADE OR COUNTERATTACK ANY NUCLEAR ANTAGONIST WHILE HAVING CONTINUAL PLEASURE WITH 1721 01:02:38,989 --> 01:02:40,133 ANY NUCLEAR ANTAGONIST WHILE HAVING CONTINUAL PLEASURE WITH ANY MEMBER OF THE CREW, EACH OF 1722 01:02:40,157 --> 01:02:41,267 HAVING CONTINUAL PLEASURE WITH ANY MEMBER OF THE CREW, EACH OF WHOM IS A TRAINED ATOMIC BUNNY 1723 01:02:41,291 --> 01:02:41,735 ANY MEMBER OF THE CREW, EACH OF WHOM IS A TRAINED ATOMIC BUNNY PHYSICIST. 1724 01:02:41,759 --> 01:02:42,335 WHOM IS A TRAINED ATOMIC BUNNY PHYSICIST. WOW. 1725 01:02:42,359 --> 01:02:43,469 PHYSICIST. WOW. THAT'S A FACT. 1726 01:02:43,493 --> 01:02:45,038 WOW. THAT'S A FACT. WE'RE CLOSING NOW, SIR. 1727 01:02:45,062 --> 01:02:46,206 THAT'S A FACT. WE'RE CLOSING NOW, SIR. HERE'S YOUR CHECK. 1728 01:02:46,230 --> 01:02:47,240 WE'RE CLOSING NOW, SIR. HERE'S YOUR CHECK. I'VE BEEN NOTICING YOUR 1729 01:02:47,264 --> 01:02:48,341 HERE'S YOUR CHECK. I'VE BEEN NOTICING YOUR TAIL'S A LOT FUZZIER THAN THE 1730 01:02:48,365 --> 01:02:49,109 I'VE BEEN NOTICING YOUR TAIL'S A LOT FUZZIER THAN THE REST OF THE GIRLS. 1731 01:02:49,133 --> 01:02:50,009 TAIL'S A LOT FUZZIER THAN THE REST OF THE GIRLS. I'LL SAY. 1732 01:02:50,033 --> 01:02:51,277 REST OF THE GIRLS. I'LL SAY. WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, KEEP 1733 01:02:51,301 --> 01:02:51,945 I'LL SAY. WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, KEEP IT UP. 1734 01:02:51,969 --> 01:02:52,678 WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, KEEP IT UP. THANK YOU. 1735 01:02:52,702 --> 01:02:53,579 IT UP. THANK YOU. OH, THANK US? 1736 01:02:53,603 --> 01:02:54,147 THANK YOU. OH, THANK US? THANK YOU. 1737 01:02:54,171 --> 01:02:54,981 OH, THANK US? THANK YOU. DON'T THANK US. 1738 01:02:55,005 --> 01:02:55,982 THANK YOU. DON'T THANK US. WE'RE NOT DOING THE 1739 01:02:56,006 --> 01:02:56,716 DON'T THANK US. WE'RE NOT DOING THE ENTERTAINING. 1740 01:02:56,740 --> 01:02:57,851 WE'RE NOT DOING THE ENTERTAINING. WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE. 1741 01:02:57,875 --> 01:02:58,952 ENTERTAINING. WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE. THANK YOU, LARRY. 1742 01:02:58,976 --> 01:03:00,353 WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE. THANK YOU, LARRY. THANK YOU. 1743 01:03:00,377 --> 01:03:01,420 THANK YOU, LARRY. THANK YOU. YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TALK TO 1744 01:03:01,444 --> 01:03:02,321 THANK YOU. YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TALK TO THEM, LAR. 1745 01:03:02,345 --> 01:03:04,157 YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TALK TO THEM, LAR. ALL RIGHT, LARRY, WE TOLD THE 1746 01:03:04,181 --> 01:03:05,825 THEM, LAR. ALL RIGHT, LARRY, WE TOLD THE SITTER WE'D BE HOME BY 12:30, 1747 01:03:05,849 --> 01:03:07,660 ALL RIGHT, LARRY, WE TOLD THE SITTER WE'D BE HOME BY 12:30, AND YOU REMEMBER THAT EPISODE OF 1748 01:03:07,684 --> 01:03:09,428 SITTER WE'D BE HOME BY 12:30, AND YOU REMEMBER THAT EPISODE OF HER DRYING THE CAT IN THE RADAR 1749 01:03:09,452 --> 01:03:09,963 AND YOU REMEMBER THAT EPISODE OF HER DRYING THE CAT IN THE RADAR RANGE. 1750 01:03:09,987 --> 01:03:11,064 HER DRYING THE CAT IN THE RADAR RANGE. NOW, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD 1751 01:03:11,088 --> 01:03:12,232 RANGE. NOW, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD LEAVE HER THERE ONE MORE MINUTE 1752 01:03:12,256 --> 01:03:12,932 NOW, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD LEAVE HER THERE ONE MORE MINUTE THAN WE HAVE TO. 1753 01:03:12,956 --> 01:03:14,067 LEAVE HER THERE ONE MORE MINUTE THAN WE HAVE TO. HOW DOES HE FIND THEM? 1754 01:03:14,091 --> 01:03:15,334 THAN WE HAVE TO. HOW DOES HE FIND THEM? I MEAN, GIRLS LIKE THAT, HOW 1755 01:03:15,358 --> 01:03:16,236 HOW DOES HE FIND THEM? I MEAN, GIRLS LIKE THAT, HOW DOES HE FIND THEM? 1756 01:03:16,260 --> 01:03:17,336 I MEAN, GIRLS LIKE THAT, HOW DOES HE FIND THEM? HE DOESN'T FIND THEM. 1757 01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:18,604 DOES HE FIND THEM? HE DOESN'T FIND THEM. HE BREEDS THEM ON RANCHES IN 1758 01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:19,072 HE DOESN'T FIND THEM. HE BREEDS THEM ON RANCHES IN NEVADA. 1759 01:03:19,096 --> 01:03:19,572 HE BREEDS THEM ON RANCHES IN NEVADA. WHAT? 1760 01:03:19,596 --> 01:03:20,740 NEVADA. WHAT? HE BREEDS THEM LIKE MINKS. 1761 01:03:20,764 --> 01:03:22,075 WHAT? HE BREEDS THEM LIKE MINKS. LET ME ASK YOU... HAVE YOU EVER 1762 01:03:22,099 --> 01:03:23,243 HE BREEDS THEM LIKE MINKS. LET ME ASK YOU... HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN OLD PLAYBOY BUNNY? 1763 01:03:23,267 --> 01:03:23,643 LET ME ASK YOU... HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN OLD PLAYBOY BUNNY? NO. 1764 01:03:23,667 --> 01:03:24,978 SEEN AN OLD PLAYBOY BUNNY? NO. THAT'S BECAUSE HE KILLS THEM 1765 01:03:25,002 --> 01:03:26,712 NO. THAT'S BECAUSE HE KILLS THEM WHEN THEY REACH THE AGE OF 25. 1766 01:03:26,736 --> 01:03:27,647 THAT'S BECAUSE HE KILLS THEM WHEN THEY REACH THE AGE OF 25. PRIVATE UNDERWATER BUNNY 1767 01:03:27,671 --> 01:03:28,815 WHEN THEY REACH THE AGE OF 25. PRIVATE UNDERWATER BUNNY CEMETERY IN PALM BEACH, FLORIDA, 1768 01:03:28,839 --> 01:03:29,883 PRIVATE UNDERWATER BUNNY CEMETERY IN PALM BEACH, FLORIDA, UNDER THE PLAYBOY HOUSEBOAT. 1769 01:03:29,907 --> 01:03:30,950 CEMETERY IN PALM BEACH, FLORIDA, UNDER THE PLAYBOY HOUSEBOAT. THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S HIS 1770 01:03:30,974 --> 01:03:31,550 UNDER THE PLAYBOY HOUSEBOAT. THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S HIS HOME BUNNIES. 1771 01:03:31,574 --> 01:03:32,285 THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S HIS HOME BUNNIES. HOME BUNNIES? 1772 01:03:32,309 --> 01:03:33,352 HOME BUNNIES. HOME BUNNIES? YEAH, THE ONES HE KEEPS AT 1773 01:03:33,376 --> 01:03:33,853 HOME BUNNIES? YEAH, THE ONES HE KEEPS AT HOME. 1774 01:03:33,877 --> 01:03:34,954 YEAH, THE ONES HE KEEPS AT HOME. YOU KNOW, BIG METAL COLLARS, 1775 01:03:34,978 --> 01:03:35,421 HOME. YOU KNOW, BIG METAL COLLARS, STUDS. 1776 01:03:35,445 --> 01:03:36,422 YOU KNOW, BIG METAL COLLARS, STUDS. HE FEEDS THEM RAW MEAT. 1777 01:03:36,446 --> 01:03:37,523 STUDS. HE FEEDS THEM RAW MEAT. WOW! 1778 01:03:37,547 --> 01:03:39,125 HE FEEDS THEM RAW MEAT. WOW! THEY LIVE 10 TO 15 YEARS MORE 1779 01:03:39,149 --> 01:03:40,359 WOW! THEY LIVE 10 TO 15 YEARS MORE THAN THE REGULAR WOMEN. 1780 01:03:40,383 --> 01:03:41,928 THEY LIVE 10 TO 15 YEARS MORE THAN THE REGULAR WOMEN. WOW. 1781 01:03:41,952 --> 01:03:43,863 THAN THE REGULAR WOMEN. WOW. YOU KNOW, LARRY, IF WE STAY 1782 01:03:43,887 --> 01:03:45,731 WOW. YOU KNOW, LARRY, IF WE STAY HERE ANY LONGER, I'M GOING TO 1783 01:03:45,755 --> 01:03:47,667 YOU KNOW, LARRY, IF WE STAY HERE ANY LONGER, I'M GOING TO TAKE OUT MY CONTACT LENSES AND 1784 01:03:47,691 --> 01:03:50,069 HERE ANY LONGER, I'M GOING TO TAKE OUT MY CONTACT LENSES AND CLEAN THEM IN MY MOUTH. 1785 01:03:50,093 --> 01:03:52,305 TAKE OUT MY CONTACT LENSES AND CLEAN THEM IN MY MOUTH. AND I'LL PROBABLY SWALLOW ONE. 1786 01:03:52,329 --> 01:03:54,007 CLEAN THEM IN MY MOUTH. AND I'LL PROBABLY SWALLOW ONE. BOBBI, I LISTENED THE WHOLE 1787 01:03:54,031 --> 01:03:55,675 AND I'LL PROBABLY SWALLOW ONE. BOBBI, I LISTENED THE WHOLE WAY HERE TO THAT BORING STORY 1788 01:03:55,699 --> 01:03:57,376 BOBBI, I LISTENED THE WHOLE WAY HERE TO THAT BORING STORY ABOUT THE FREELAND GIRL BEING 1789 01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:58,978 WAY HERE TO THAT BORING STORY ABOUT THE FREELAND GIRL BEING ALLERGIC TO CHROME AND GLASS 1790 01:03:59,002 --> 01:03:59,913 ABOUT THE FREELAND GIRL BEING ALLERGIC TO CHROME AND GLASS COFFEE TABLES. 1791 01:03:59,937 --> 01:04:01,580 ALLERGIC TO CHROME AND GLASS COFFEE TABLES. NOW, I THINK THE LEAST YOU CAN 1792 01:04:01,604 --> 01:04:03,316 COFFEE TABLES. NOW, I THINK THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS LISTEN TO LITTLE STORIES 1793 01:04:03,340 --> 01:04:05,451 NOW, I THINK THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS LISTEN TO LITTLE STORIES ABOUT HUGH HEFNER! 1794 01:04:05,475 --> 01:04:07,353 DO IS LISTEN TO LITTLE STORIES ABOUT HUGH HEFNER! EXCUSE ME. 1795 01:04:07,377 --> 01:04:08,721 ABOUT HUGH HEFNER! EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME, IS THERE A PROBLEM? 1796 01:04:08,745 --> 01:04:11,490 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME, IS THERE A PROBLEM? [GASPS] 1797 01:04:11,514 --> 01:04:12,692 EXCUSE ME, IS THERE A PROBLEM? [GASPS] IT'S 'NER. 1798 01:04:12,716 --> 01:04:13,559 [GASPS] IT'S 'NER. 'NER! 1799 01:04:13,583 --> 01:04:14,627 IT'S 'NER. 'NER! 'NERSY! 1800 01:04:14,651 --> 01:04:15,929 'NER! 'NERSY! HEY, 'NER. 1801 01:04:15,953 --> 01:04:17,230 'NERSY! HEY, 'NER. IT'S HIM HIMSELF. 1802 01:04:17,254 --> 01:04:18,298 HEY, 'NER. IT'S HIM HIMSELF. I FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU. 1803 01:04:18,322 --> 01:04:19,265 IT'S HIM HIMSELF. I FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU. I READ YOUR MAGAZINE. 1804 01:04:19,289 --> 01:04:20,466 I FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU. I READ YOUR MAGAZINE. MR. HEFNER, I'M THE KEYHOLDER 1805 01:04:20,490 --> 01:04:20,900 I READ YOUR MAGAZINE. MR. HEFNER, I'M THE KEYHOLDER HERE. 1806 01:04:20,924 --> 01:04:22,368 MR. HEFNER, I'M THE KEYHOLDER HERE. REG SCHAEFER, SANDUSKY HAIRDRYER 1807 01:04:22,392 --> 01:04:23,636 HERE. REG SCHAEFER, SANDUSKY HAIRDRYER TEMPERATURE CONTROL SWITCH 1808 01:04:23,660 --> 01:04:24,304 REG SCHAEFER, SANDUSKY HAIRDRYER TEMPERATURE CONTROL SWITCH CORPORATION. 1809 01:04:24,328 --> 01:04:25,504 TEMPERATURE CONTROL SWITCH CORPORATION. THESE ARE MY GUESTS, MR. AND 1810 01:04:25,528 --> 01:04:26,639 CORPORATION. THESE ARE MY GUESTS, MR. AND MRS. LARRY FARBER. 1811 01:04:26,663 --> 01:04:28,574 THESE ARE MY GUESTS, MR. AND MRS. LARRY FARBER. HELLO, THERE. 1812 01:04:28,598 --> 01:04:30,343 MRS. LARRY FARBER. HELLO, THERE. IT IS GETTING A LITTLE LATE. 1813 01:04:30,367 --> 01:04:32,212 HELLO, THERE. IT IS GETTING A LITTLE LATE. YOU KNOW, WE WERE WONDERING A 1814 01:04:32,236 --> 01:04:34,013 IT IS GETTING A LITTLE LATE. YOU KNOW, WE WERE WONDERING A FEW THINGS. 1815 01:04:34,037 --> 01:04:35,614 YOU KNOW, WE WERE WONDERING A FEW THINGS. YOU KNOW, THE PLAYMATES OF 1816 01:04:35,638 --> 01:04:37,250 FEW THINGS. YOU KNOW, THE PLAYMATES OF THE MONTH, DO THEY GET TO PICK 1817 01:04:37,274 --> 01:04:38,852 YOU KNOW, THE PLAYMATES OF THE MONTH, DO THEY GET TO PICK THE MONTH, OR DO YOU FORCE THE 1818 01:04:38,876 --> 01:04:39,385 THE MONTH, DO THEY GET TO PICK THE MONTH, OR DO YOU FORCE THE MONTH ON THEM? 1819 01:04:39,409 --> 01:04:40,486 THE MONTH, OR DO YOU FORCE THE MONTH ON THEM? AND THOSE STARS ON THE "P" IN 1820 01:04:40,510 --> 01:04:41,387 MONTH ON THEM? AND THOSE STARS ON THE "P" IN THE "PLAYBOY" ON THE COVER? 1821 01:04:41,411 --> 01:04:42,455 AND THOSE STARS ON THE "P" IN THE "PLAYBOY" ON THE COVER? DOES THAT REALLY MEAN THE NUMBER 1822 01:04:42,479 --> 01:04:43,389 THE "PLAYBOY" ON THE COVER? DOES THAT REALLY MEAN THE NUMBER OF TIMES YOU SLEPT WITH THE 1823 01:04:43,413 --> 01:04:44,423 DOES THAT REALLY MEAN THE NUMBER OF TIMES YOU SLEPT WITH THE PLAYMATE? 1824 01:04:44,447 --> 01:04:45,591 OF TIMES YOU SLEPT WITH THE PLAYMATE? HUH? HUH? HUH? 1825 01:04:45,615 --> 01:04:47,060 PLAYMATE? HUH? HUH? HUH? MR. SCHAEFER, THE STARS HAVE 1826 01:04:47,084 --> 01:04:48,261 HUH? HUH? HUH? MR. SCHAEFER, THE STARS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. 1827 01:04:48,285 --> 01:04:49,829 MR. SCHAEFER, THE STARS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. THE STARS ON THE "P" ON THE 1828 01:04:49,853 --> 01:04:51,130 NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. THE STARS ON THE "P" ON THE PLAYBOY COVER ARE AN 1829 01:04:51,154 --> 01:04:52,832 THE STARS ON THE "P" ON THE PLAYBOY COVER ARE AN ADVERTISING DEVICE TO SHOW WHAT 1830 01:04:52,856 --> 01:04:54,433 PLAYBOY COVER ARE AN ADVERTISING DEVICE TO SHOW WHAT CITY THAT ISSUE WAS PUBLISHED 1831 01:04:54,457 --> 01:04:54,968 ADVERTISING DEVICE TO SHOW WHAT CITY THAT ISSUE WAS PUBLISHED IN. 1832 01:04:54,992 --> 01:04:56,102 CITY THAT ISSUE WAS PUBLISHED IN. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? 1833 01:04:56,126 --> 01:04:57,436 IN. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? THAT'S RIGHT, MRS. FARBER. 1834 01:04:57,460 --> 01:04:58,471 HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? THAT'S RIGHT, MRS. FARBER. HOW DOES SHE KNOW? 1835 01:04:58,495 --> 01:05:00,206 THAT'S RIGHT, MRS. FARBER. HOW DOES SHE KNOW? OH, AND I ALSO WANTED TO SAY 1836 01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:01,975 HOW DOES SHE KNOW? OH, AND I ALSO WANTED TO SAY SOMETIMES, LARRY, I GET TIRED 1837 01:05:01,999 --> 01:05:03,442 OH, AND I ALSO WANTED TO SAY SOMETIMES, LARRY, I GET TIRED CLEANING YOUR HANDKERCHIEF 1838 01:05:03,466 --> 01:05:04,878 SOMETIMES, LARRY, I GET TIRED CLEANING YOUR HANDKERCHIEF DRAWER, AND I DO A LITTLE 1839 01:05:04,902 --> 01:05:05,511 CLEANING YOUR HANDKERCHIEF DRAWER, AND I DO A LITTLE READING. 1840 01:05:05,535 --> 01:05:07,546 DRAWER, AND I DO A LITTLE READING. AND I THOUGHT THAT ALEX HALEY 1841 01:05:07,570 --> 01:05:09,548 READING. AND I THOUGHT THAT ALEX HALEY INTERVIEW WITH MALCOLM X WAS 1842 01:05:09,572 --> 01:05:11,351 AND I THOUGHT THAT ALEX HALEY INTERVIEW WITH MALCOLM X WAS DEFINITELY THE DEFINITIVE 1843 01:05:11,375 --> 01:05:13,519 INTERVIEW WITH MALCOLM X WAS DEFINITELY THE DEFINITIVE MALCOLM X INTERVIEW. 1844 01:05:13,543 --> 01:05:14,820 DEFINITELY THE DEFINITIVE MALCOLM X INTERVIEW. WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, 1845 01:05:14,844 --> 01:05:16,022 MALCOLM X INTERVIEW. WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MRS. FARBER, AND IF YOU'RE 1846 01:05:16,046 --> 01:05:17,223 WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MRS. FARBER, AND IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THAT SORT OF 1847 01:05:17,247 --> 01:05:18,591 MRS. FARBER, AND IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THAT SORT OF THING, I'M EDITING AT THE VERY 1848 01:05:18,615 --> 01:05:19,893 INTERESTED IN THAT SORT OF THING, I'M EDITING AT THE VERY MOMENT A ALEX HALEY PIECE FOR 1849 01:05:19,917 --> 01:05:20,826 THING, I'M EDITING AT THE VERY MOMENT A ALEX HALEY PIECE FOR THE DECEMBER ISSUE. 1850 01:05:20,850 --> 01:05:22,362 MOMENT A ALEX HALEY PIECE FOR THE DECEMBER ISSUE. OH, I'D LOVE TO SEE IT! 1851 01:05:22,386 --> 01:05:23,963 THE DECEMBER ISSUE. OH, I'D LOVE TO SEE IT! WHY DON'T YOU TWO HAVE A 1852 01:05:23,987 --> 01:05:25,798 OH, I'D LOVE TO SEE IT! WHY DON'T YOU TWO HAVE A DRINK HERE, AND WE'LL BE BACK IN 1853 01:05:25,822 --> 01:05:26,732 WHY DON'T YOU TWO HAVE A DRINK HERE, AND WE'LL BE BACK IN A FEW MINUTES. 1854 01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:27,466 DRINK HERE, AND WE'LL BE BACK IN A FEW MINUTES. OKAY, YEAH. 1855 01:05:27,490 --> 01:05:28,534 A FEW MINUTES. OKAY, YEAH. THAT'S HUGH HEFNER! 1856 01:05:28,558 --> 01:05:30,003 OKAY, YEAH. THAT'S HUGH HEFNER! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY, AND 1857 01:05:30,027 --> 01:05:30,970 THAT'S HUGH HEFNER! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY, AND HE BUYS YOU A DRINK! 1858 01:05:30,994 --> 01:05:33,006 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY, AND HE BUYS YOU A DRINK! LARRY, CALL THE SITTER, OKAY? 1859 01:05:33,030 --> 01:05:34,107 HE BUYS YOU A DRINK! LARRY, CALL THE SITTER, OKAY? OKAY, HONEY. 1860 01:05:34,131 --> 01:05:36,042 LARRY, CALL THE SITTER, OKAY? OKAY, HONEY. SURE, DEAR, ANYTHING YOU SAY. 1861 01:05:36,066 --> 01:05:37,476 OKAY, HONEY. SURE, DEAR, ANYTHING YOU SAY. ARE YOU SURE SHE'LL BE... 1862 01:05:37,500 --> 01:05:39,112 SURE, DEAR, ANYTHING YOU SAY. ARE YOU SURE SHE'LL BE... YEAH, I JUST HOPE BOBBI ISN'T 1863 01:05:39,136 --> 01:05:40,713 ARE YOU SURE SHE'LL BE... YEAH, I JUST HOPE BOBBI ISN'T ALLERGIC TO THE REACTION TO THAT 1864 01:05:40,737 --> 01:05:41,147 YEAH, I JUST HOPE BOBBI ISN'T ALLERGIC TO THE REACTION TO THAT DRUG. 1865 01:05:41,171 --> 01:05:42,148 ALLERGIC TO THE REACTION TO THAT DRUG. I HOPE HE DOESN'T TAKE HER 1866 01:05:42,172 --> 01:05:43,049 DRUG. I HOPE HE DOESN'T TAKE HER AWAY IN THE SUBMARINE. 1867 01:05:43,073 --> 01:05:45,553 I HOPE HE DOESN'T TAKE HER AWAY IN THE SUBMARINE. OH, NAH! 1868 01:05:53,449 --> 01:05:54,609 THANK YOU, ALL, FOR MAKING 1869 01:05:54,683 --> 01:05:56,184 THIS SUCH A WONDERFUL ADVENTURE. 1870 01:05:56,319 --> 01:05:57,319 THANK YOU. 1871 01:05:57,353 --> 01:05:58,086 GOOD NIGHT. 1872 01:05:58,220 --> 01:05:59,454 GOOD NIGHT. 1873 01:05:59,588 --> 01:06:00,956 [APPLAUSE] 1874 01:06:01,090 --> 01:06:02,890 [BAND PLAYS] 202407

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.