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1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:05,015
HI!
UH...
OUR UNABASHED DICTIONARY DEFINES
2
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:06,649
UH...
OUR UNABASHED DICTIONARY DEFINES
"BEATING AROUND THE BUSH" AS,
3
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,251
OUR UNABASHED DICTIONARY DEFINES
"BEATING AROUND THE BUSH" AS,
LIKE, THERE'S THIS CIRCLE OF
4
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,919
"BEATING AROUND THE BUSH" AS,
LIKE, THERE'S THIS CIRCLE OF
PERCUSSIONISTS, AND, LIKE,
5
00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,721
LIKE, THERE'S THIS CIRCLE OF
PERCUSSIONISTS, AND, LIKE,
THEY'RE SITTING AROUND, LIKE,
6
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,224
PERCUSSIONISTS, AND, LIKE,
THEY'RE SITTING AROUND, LIKE,
THIS SHRUB PLAYING DRUMS.
7
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,425
THEY'RE SITTING AROUND, LIKE,
THIS SHRUB PLAYING DRUMS.
AND, UH...
8
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,227
THIS SHRUB PLAYING DRUMS.
AND, UH...
IT'S REALLY LIKE THAT, ONLY IT'S
9
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:18,996
AND, UH...
IT'S REALLY LIKE THAT, ONLY IT'S
FUNNIER.
10
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,563
IT'S REALLY LIKE THAT, ONLY IT'S
FUNNIER.
OH, I KNOW!
11
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,432
FUNNIER.
OH, I KNOW!
"THERE WAS AN OLD MAN NAMED DAVE
12
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,034
OH, I KNOW!
"THERE WAS AN OLD MAN NAMED DAVE
FROM NANTUCKET."
13
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,436
"THERE WAS AN OLD MAN NAMED DAVE
FROM NANTUCKET."
NO, WAIT.
14
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,471
FROM NANTUCKET."
NO, WAIT.
FORGET IT! FORGET IT!
15
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:28,905
NO, WAIT.
FORGET IT! FORGET IT!
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
16
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:29,939
FORGET IT! FORGET IT!
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
UM...
17
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,541
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
UM...
"A RAUCOUS OLD SAILOR NAMED
18
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,676
UM...
"A RAUCOUS OLD SAILOR NAMED
RICK GREW SO FOND OF FLICKING
19
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,811
"A RAUCOUS OLD SAILOR NAMED
RICK GREW SO FOND OF FLICKING
HIS BIC.
20
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,413
RICK GREW SO FOND OF FLICKING
HIS BIC.
HE SAID TO HIS DATE, AS HE
21
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,281
HIS BIC.
HE SAID TO HIS DATE, AS HE
GUESSED AT HER WEIGHT, 'IF YOUR
22
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:40,117
HE SAID TO HIS DATE, AS HE
GUESSED AT HER WEIGHT, 'IF YOUR
NOSE WAS A PLUM, I WOULD PLUCK
23
00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:40,583
GUESSED AT HER WEIGHT, 'IF YOUR
NOSE WAS A PLUM, I WOULD PLUCK
IT!'"
24
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:42,619
NOSE WAS A PLUM, I WOULD PLUCK
IT!'"
[GIGGLES]
25
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:43,253
IT!'"
[GIGGLES]
OH.
26
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,888
[GIGGLES]
OH.
OH, I JUST REMEMBERED THIS
27
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:45,822
OH.
OH, I JUST REMEMBERED THIS
PUNCH LINE!
28
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,424
OH, I JUST REMEMBERED THIS
PUNCH LINE!
UH, WHEN THEY SHOVE ME IN A DARK
29
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:48,892
PUNCH LINE!
UH, WHEN THEY SHOVE ME IN A DARK
CAVE AND MAKE ME DO PUSH-UPS
30
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:49,826
UH, WHEN THEY SHOVE ME IN A DARK
CAVE AND MAKE ME DO PUSH-UPS
TILL I THROW UP!"
31
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,561
CAVE AND MAKE ME DO PUSH-UPS
TILL I THROW UP!"
[GIGGLES]
32
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,096
TILL I THROW UP!"
[GIGGLES]
OH, GOSH.
33
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,198
[GIGGLES]
OH, GOSH.
WELL, THAT'S ALL THE JOKES I
34
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:56,933
OH, GOSH.
WELL, THAT'S ALL THE JOKES I
REMEMBER...
35
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:59,369
WELL, THAT'S ALL THE JOKES I
REMEMBER...
EXCEPT LIVE FROM NEW YORK,
36
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,038
REMEMBER...
EXCEPT LIVE FROM NEW YORK,
IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"!
37
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:03,462
EXCEPT LIVE FROM NEW YORK,
IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"!
[BAND PLAYS]
38
00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:09,068
Announcer: IT'S
39
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:12,637
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"!
40
00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:14,573
STARRING...
41
00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:24,516
WITH SPECIAL GUEST...
42
00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:19,438
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
43
00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:21,273
HUGH HEFNER!
44
00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:23,208
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
45
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:48,845
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
WELL, WHEN LORNE MICHAELS FIRST
ASKED ME TO HOST
46
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,580
WELL, WHEN LORNE MICHAELS FIRST
ASKED ME TO HOST
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," I WASN'T,
47
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,081
ASKED ME TO HOST
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," I WASN'T,
QUITE FRANKLY, SURE I COULD
48
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,017
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," I WASN'T,
QUITE FRANKLY, SURE I COULD
HANDLE IT, BECAUSE I AM, AFTER
49
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,085
QUITE FRANKLY, SURE I COULD
HANDLE IT, BECAUSE I AM, AFTER
ALL, A MAGAZINE PUBLISHER, NOT A
50
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,987
HANDLE IT, BECAUSE I AM, AFTER
ALL, A MAGAZINE PUBLISHER, NOT A
PERFORMER, AND, ANYONE WHO EVER
51
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,256
ALL, A MAGAZINE PUBLISHER, NOT A
PERFORMER, AND, ANYONE WHO EVER
SAW MY OWN TV SHOW,
52
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,224
PERFORMER, AND, ANYONE WHO EVER
SAW MY OWN TV SHOW,
"PLAYBOY AFTER DARK," CAN ATTEST
53
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,626
SAW MY OWN TV SHOW,
"PLAYBOY AFTER DARK," CAN ATTEST
TO THAT.
54
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:03,893
"PLAYBOY AFTER DARK," CAN ATTEST
TO THAT.
BUT I HAVE A COUPLE OF FRIENDS
55
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,228
TO THAT.
BUT I HAVE A COUPLE OF FRIENDS
WHO THINK I'M ALMOST AS FUNNY AS
56
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,531
BUT I HAVE A COUPLE OF FRIENDS
WHO THINK I'M ALMOST AS FUNNY AS
RALPH NADER, SO I FIGURED, "WHAT
57
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,132
WHO THINK I'M ALMOST AS FUNNY AS
RALPH NADER, SO I FIGURED, "WHAT
THE HELL?"
58
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,900
RALPH NADER, SO I FIGURED, "WHAT
THE HELL?"
SINCE MALE FASHIONS ARE A VERY
59
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,802
THE HELL?"
SINCE MALE FASHIONS ARE A VERY
IMPORTANT PART OF PLAYBOY, I WAS
60
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,638
SINCE MALE FASHIONS ARE A VERY
IMPORTANT PART OF PLAYBOY, I WAS
CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT TO WEAR ON
61
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,939
IMPORTANT PART OF PLAYBOY, I WAS
CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT TO WEAR ON
THIS OPENING MONOLOGUE.
62
00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:18,141
CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT TO WEAR ON
THIS OPENING MONOLOGUE.
LORNE WAS VERY HELPFUL.
63
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,576
THIS OPENING MONOLOGUE.
LORNE WAS VERY HELPFUL.
HE TOLD ME TO WEAR WHATEVER I
64
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,145
LORNE WAS VERY HELPFUL.
HE TOLD ME TO WEAR WHATEVER I
FELT COMFORTABLE IN.
65
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:23,213
HE TOLD ME TO WEAR WHATEVER I
FELT COMFORTABLE IN.
HE SAID, "JUST WEAR WHAT YOU
66
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:24,381
FELT COMFORTABLE IN.
HE SAID, "JUST WEAR WHAT YOU
WEAR WHEN YOU'RE HOSTING A PARTY
67
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,882
HE SAID, "JUST WEAR WHAT YOU
WEAR WHEN YOU'RE HOSTING A PARTY
AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION."
68
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:29,986
WEAR WHEN YOU'RE HOSTING A PARTY
AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION."
WELL, THIS IS IT.
69
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,121
AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION."
WELL, THIS IS IT.
I STARTED PLAYBOY BACK IN THE
70
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,391
WELL, THIS IS IT.
I STARTED PLAYBOY BACK IN THE
'50s FROM AN INITIAL INVESTMENT
71
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:35,692
I STARTED PLAYBOY BACK IN THE
'50s FROM AN INITIAL INVESTMENT
OF SOME $600.
72
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,694
'50s FROM AN INITIAL INVESTMENT
OF SOME $600.
I BUILT AN EMPIRE WORTH ALMOST
73
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,229
OF SOME $600.
I BUILT AN EMPIRE WORTH ALMOST
$200 MILLION.
74
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:41,364
I BUILT AN EMPIRE WORTH ALMOST
$200 MILLION.
BUT I DIDN'T DO IT ALONE.
75
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,666
$200 MILLION.
BUT I DIDN'T DO IT ALONE.
IT TOOK A LOT OF DEDICATION AND
76
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:43,733
BUT I DIDN'T DO IT ALONE.
IT TOOK A LOT OF DEDICATION AND
HARD WORK FROM SOME VERY
77
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,902
IT TOOK A LOT OF DEDICATION AND
HARD WORK FROM SOME VERY
TALENTED PEOPLE.
78
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,572
HARD WORK FROM SOME VERY
TALENTED PEOPLE.
AND IT TOOK SOMETHING MORE... A
79
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:52,075
TALENTED PEOPLE.
AND IT TOOK SOMETHING MORE... A
KIND OF FAITH, A BELIEF IN...
80
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,311
AND IT TOOK SOMETHING MORE... A
KIND OF FAITH, A BELIEF IN...
SOMETHING GREATER THAN ONESELF,
81
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,679
KIND OF FAITH, A BELIEF IN...
SOMETHING GREATER THAN ONESELF,
AND THAT'S WHY...
82
00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:57,013
SOMETHING GREATER THAN ONESELF,
AND THAT'S WHY...
[PIANO PLAYS]
83
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,115
AND THAT'S WHY...
[PIANO PLAYS]
[LAUGHTER]
84
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:03,720
[PIANO PLAYS]
[LAUGHTER]
EACH TIME I SEE A LITTLE GIRL
85
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:07,524
[LAUGHTER]
EACH TIME I SEE A LITTLE GIRL
OF 5 OR 6 OR 7...
86
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:10,660
EACH TIME I SEE A LITTLE GIRL
OF 5 OR 6 OR 7...
I CAN'T RESIST THE JOYOUS URGE
87
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,830
OF 5 OR 6 OR 7...
I CAN'T RESIST THE JOYOUS URGE
TO SMILE AND SAY...
88
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,232
I CAN'T RESIST THE JOYOUS URGE
TO SMILE AND SAY...
[INTRO TO "THANK HEAVEN TO
89
00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:20,103
TO SMILE AND SAY...
[INTRO TO "THANK HEAVEN TO
LITTLE GIRLS" PLAYS]
90
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,672
[INTRO TO "THANK HEAVEN TO
LITTLE GIRLS" PLAYS]
♪ THANK HEAVEN
91
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:27,198
[LITTLE GIRLS" PLAYS]
♪ THANK HEAVEN
FOR LITTLE GIRLS ♪
92
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,768
♪ FOR LITTLE GIRLS GET
93
00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:34,139
BIGGER EVERY DAY ♪
94
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,941
♪ THANK HEAVEN
95
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:41,146
FOR LITTLE GIRLS ♪
96
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,316
♪ THEY GROW UP IN THE MOST
97
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:48,287
DELIGHTFUL WAY ♪
98
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:51,456
♪ THOSE LITTLE EYES SO HELPLESS
99
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,992
AND APPEALING ♪
100
00:04:54,126 --> 00:04:56,561
♪ ONE DAY WILL FLASH AND SEND
101
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,730
YOU CRASHIN' THROUGH THE
102
00:04:58,864 --> 00:05:01,866
CEILING ♪
103
00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:04,536
♪ THANK HEAVEN
104
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:08,473
FOR LITTLE GIRLS ♪
105
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:11,443
♪ THANK HEAVEN FOR THEM ALL,
106
00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:15,747
NO MATTER WHERE, NO MATTER WHO ♪
107
00:05:15,881 --> 00:05:17,683
♪ WITHOUT THEM, WHAT WOULD
108
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:22,421
LITTLE BOYS DO? ♪
109
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:30,689
♪ THANK HEAVEN ♪
♪ THANK HEAVEN ♪
♪ THANK HEAVEN
110
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:38,837
♪ THANK HEAVEN ♪
♪ THANK HEAVEN
FOR LITTLE GIRLS ♪
111
00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:47,045
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
112
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:59,035
HI.
I'M BEAUTIFUL BUT STUPID.
AND I FOUND THE SOAP THAT HELPS
113
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:01,204
I'M BEAUTIFUL BUT STUPID.
AND I FOUND THE SOAP THAT HELPS
ME STAY THAT WAY.
114
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,807
AND I FOUND THE SOAP THAT HELPS
ME STAY THAT WAY.
MY HUSBAND SAYS I LOOK NATURAL
115
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,709
ME STAY THAT WAY.
MY HUSBAND SAYS I LOOK NATURAL
AND UNSPOILED, AND HE LOVES THE
116
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,577
MY HUSBAND SAYS I LOOK NATURAL
AND UNSPOILED, AND HE LOVES THE
WAY I NEVER BOTHER HIM WITH MY
117
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,813
AND UNSPOILED, AND HE LOVES THE
WAY I NEVER BOTHER HIM WITH MY
OPINIONS.
118
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,948
WAY I NEVER BOTHER HIM WITH MY
OPINIONS.
LET'S FACE IT... GOOD LOOKS AND
119
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,817
OPINIONS.
LET'S FACE IT... GOOD LOOKS AND
COMPLEX HUMAN EMOTIONS JUST
120
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,218
LET'S FACE IT... GOOD LOOKS AND
COMPLEX HUMAN EMOTIONS JUST
DON'T MIX.
121
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,686
COMPLEX HUMAN EMOTIONS JUST
DON'T MIX.
I GUESS THAT'S WHY I USE
122
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,655
DON'T MIX.
I GUESS THAT'S WHY I USE
ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA
123
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,623
I GUESS THAT'S WHY I USE
ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA
23.
124
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,325
ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA
23.
ANGORA BOUQUET'S THOUSANDS OF
125
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,293
23.
ANGORA BOUQUET'S THOUSANDS OF
TINY TRANQUILIZERS PENETRATE
126
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,730
ANGORA BOUQUET'S THOUSANDS OF
TINY TRANQUILIZERS PENETRATE
YOUR SKIN TO WASH REALITY AWAY
127
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:29,165
TINY TRANQUILIZERS PENETRATE
YOUR SKIN TO WASH REALITY AWAY
AND MAKE YOUR MIND AND SKIN AS
128
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,368
YOUR SKIN TO WASH REALITY AWAY
AND MAKE YOUR MIND AND SKIN AS
CLEAR AS A BABY'S.
129
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:34,170
AND MAKE YOUR MIND AND SKIN AS
CLEAR AS A BABY'S.
YOU SEE, ANGORA BOUQUET ACTUALLY
130
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,873
CLEAR AS A BABY'S.
YOU SEE, ANGORA BOUQUET ACTUALLY
CONTAINS METHAQUALONE, THE SAME
131
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,275
YOU SEE, ANGORA BOUQUET ACTUALLY
CONTAINS METHAQUALONE, THE SAME
TRANQUILIZING AGENT THAT IS
132
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,210
CONTAINS METHAQUALONE, THE SAME
TRANQUILIZING AGENT THAT IS
FOUND IN THOSE LARGE, WHITE
133
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,212
TRANQUILIZING AGENT THAT IS
FOUND IN THOSE LARGE, WHITE
PILLS I OFTEN COME ACROSS IN
134
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,114
FOUND IN THOSE LARGE, WHITE
PILLS I OFTEN COME ACROSS IN
BILL JR.'s JEANS POCKETS WHEN I
135
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,949
PILLS I OFTEN COME ACROSS IN
BILL JR.'s JEANS POCKETS WHEN I
DO THE LAUNDRY.
136
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:49,285
BILL JR.'s JEANS POCKETS WHEN I
DO THE LAUNDRY.
HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU TRY THIS
137
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,087
DO THE LAUNDRY.
HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU TRY THIS
OTHER SIDE OF THE RAKE HERE?
138
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:52,188
HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU TRY THIS
OTHER SIDE OF THE RAKE HERE?
GET A LITTLE MORE LEAVES THAT
139
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,724
OTHER SIDE OF THE RAKE HERE?
GET A LITTLE MORE LEAVES THAT
WAY.
140
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,793
GET A LITTLE MORE LEAVES THAT
WAY.
I GUESS THAT'S WHY MY SOAP IS
141
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,762
WAY.
I GUESS THAT'S WHY MY SOAP IS
ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA
142
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,430
I GUESS THAT'S WHY MY SOAP IS
ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA
23.
143
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:03,366
ANGORA BOUQUET WITH pH FORMULA
23.
Announcer: ANGORA BOUQUET,
144
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,430
23.
Announcer: ANGORA BOUQUET,
WITH pH FORMULA 23.
145
00:08:00,312 --> 00:08:03,392
HOW LONG UNTIL WE INTERCEPT
THE ENEMY VESSEL,
LIEUTENANT TESTOSTERONE?
146
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,594
THE ENEMY VESSEL,
LIEUTENANT TESTOSTERONE?
TWO MINUTES TILL BATTLE
147
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,663
LIEUTENANT TESTOSTERONE?
TWO MINUTES TILL BATTLE
STATIONS, CAPTAIN MACHO.
148
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:07,931
TWO MINUTES TILL BATTLE
STATIONS, CAPTAIN MACHO.
CORPORAL HARDIN, DID THE
149
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,398
STATIONS, CAPTAIN MACHO.
CORPORAL HARDIN, DID THE
DETECTOSCAN GIVE US ANY FURTHER
150
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:10,800
CORPORAL HARDIN, DID THE
DETECTOSCAN GIVE US ANY FURTHER
DATA ON WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE
151
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:11,434
DETECTOSCAN GIVE US ANY FURTHER
DATA ON WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE
UP AGAINST?
152
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,702
DATA ON WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE
UP AGAINST?
DETECTOSCAN AND BIOANALYSIS
153
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:13,937
UP AGAINST?
DETECTOSCAN AND BIOANALYSIS
INDICATE THE OCCUPANTS OF THE
154
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,137
DETECTOSCAN AND BIOANALYSIS
INDICATE THE OCCUPANTS OF THE
ENEMY SHIP ARE DIFFERENT BUT
155
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,506
INDICATE THE OCCUPANTS OF THE
ENEMY SHIP ARE DIFFERENT BUT
BASICALLY EQUAL TO US.
156
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,307
ENEMY SHIP ARE DIFFERENT BUT
BASICALLY EQUAL TO US.
HOWEVER, CAPTAIN MACHO, OUR SHIP
157
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,776
BASICALLY EQUAL TO US.
HOWEVER, CAPTAIN MACHO, OUR SHIP
IS PHYSICALLY SUPERIOR TO
158
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:20,276
HOWEVER, CAPTAIN MACHO, OUR SHIP
IS PHYSICALLY SUPERIOR TO
THEIRS.
159
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,144
IS PHYSICALLY SUPERIOR TO
THEIRS.
CAPTION MACHO, THE ENEMY SHIP
160
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,847
THEIRS.
CAPTION MACHO, THE ENEMY SHIP
IS WITHIN FIRING RANGE.
161
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:25,515
CAPTION MACHO, THE ENEMY SHIP
IS WITHIN FIRING RANGE.
ALL RIGHT, SET ROCKETS FOR
162
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:26,683
IS WITHIN FIRING RANGE.
ALL RIGHT, SET ROCKETS FOR
CRUISING.
163
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,417
ALL RIGHT, SET ROCKETS FOR
CRUISING.
EVERYBODY STAY COOL.
164
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,761
CRUISING.
EVERYBODY STAY COOL.
LET THEM MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.
165
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,501
CAPTAIN ESTROGENA, THE ENEMY
STARSHIP IS WITHIN
ELECTROSCANNING DISTANCE.
166
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:45,602
STARSHIP IS WITHIN
ELECTROSCANNING DISTANCE.
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE,
167
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,871
ELECTROSCANNING DISTANCE.
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE,
LIEUTENANT AREOLA?
168
00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:54,777
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE,
LIEUTENANT AREOLA?
HERE IT IS, CAPTAIN.
169
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,479
LIEUTENANT AREOLA?
HERE IT IS, CAPTAIN.
THEIR SHIP IS NOT AS BIG AS WE
170
00:08:56,503 --> 00:09:01,150
HERE IT IS, CAPTAIN.
THEIR SHIP IS NOT AS BIG AS WE
HAD HOPED.
171
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,585
THEIR SHIP IS NOT AS BIG AS WE
HAD HOPED.
AND FROM ITS MANEUVERING, IT
172
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:03,987
HAD HOPED.
AND FROM ITS MANEUVERING, IT
APPEARS THAT OUR OPPONENTS HAVE
173
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,454
AND FROM ITS MANEUVERING, IT
APPEARS THAT OUR OPPONENTS HAVE
LITTLE CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN
174
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:06,389
APPEARS THAT OUR OPPONENTS HAVE
LITTLE CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN
CRAFT.
175
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,090
LITTLE CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN
CRAFT.
ALL RIGHT, WOMEN, LET'S BREAK
176
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,826
CRAFT.
ALL RIGHT, WOMEN, LET'S BREAK
DOWN THEIR DEFENSES AND HIT THEM
177
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,193
ALL RIGHT, WOMEN, LET'S BREAK
DOWN THEIR DEFENSES AND HIT THEM
AT THEIR WEAKEST POINT.
178
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,129
DOWN THEIR DEFENSES AND HIT THEM
AT THEIR WEAKEST POINT.
CORPORAL FELLOPIA, ACTIVATE THE
179
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,464
AT THEIR WEAKEST POINT.
CORPORAL FELLOPIA, ACTIVATE THE
HORN RAY.
180
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:20,670
CORPORAL FELLOPIA, ACTIVATE THE
HORN RAY.
[BEEPING]
181
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,005
HORN RAY.
[BEEPING]
MMM-MMM-MMM.
182
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:25,241
[BEEPING]
MMM-MMM-MMM.
OHH.
183
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:28,444
MMM-MMM-MMM.
OHH.
MMM-MMM-MMM!
184
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:29,946
OHH.
MMM-MMM-MMM!
MMM!
185
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:33,016
MMM-MMM-MMM!
MMM!
YOU KNOW, MY FLIGHT SUIT FEELS
186
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,886
MMM!
YOU KNOW, MY FLIGHT SUIT FEELS
REAL TIGHT.
187
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,755
YOU KNOW, MY FLIGHT SUIT FEELS
REAL TIGHT.
YEAH, WE'VE BEEN ON THIS SHIP
188
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,222
REAL TIGHT.
YEAH, WE'VE BEEN ON THIS SHIP
ABOUT TWO YEARS NOW.
189
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:40,924
YEAH, WE'VE BEEN ON THIS SHIP
ABOUT TWO YEARS NOW.
YEAH.
190
00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:42,525
ABOUT TWO YEARS NOW.
YEAH.
LISTEN, MEN, WE'RE BEING
191
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:43,960
YEAH.
LISTEN, MEN, WE'RE BEING
BOMBARDED BY SOME KIND OF
192
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,062
LISTEN, MEN, WE'RE BEING
BOMBARDED BY SOME KIND OF
POWERFUL NEW WEAPON, BUT WE MUST
193
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,664
BOMBARDED BY SOME KIND OF
POWERFUL NEW WEAPON, BUT WE MUST
GAIN CONTROL.
194
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,999
POWERFUL NEW WEAPON, BUT WE MUST
GAIN CONTROL.
TRY COUNTING BACKWARDS FROM 100.
195
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:50,833
GAIN CONTROL.
TRY COUNTING BACKWARDS FROM 100.
MM-HMM.
196
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:52,969
TRY COUNTING BACKWARDS FROM 100.
MM-HMM.
OR THINK ABOUT SPORTS.
197
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,003
MM-HMM.
OR THINK ABOUT SPORTS.
I CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH
198
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:54,671
OR THINK ABOUT SPORTS.
I CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH
LONGER, CAPTAIN.
199
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:55,738
I CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH
LONGER, CAPTAIN.
CAN'T WE DO SOMETHING TO STOP
200
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:56,706
LONGER, CAPTAIN.
CAN'T WE DO SOMETHING TO STOP
THEM?
201
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:57,874
CAN'T WE DO SOMETHING TO STOP
THEM?
MAYBE IF WE GIVE THEM A
202
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:58,741
THEM?
MAYBE IF WE GIVE THEM A
SCARE.
203
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,142
MAYBE IF WE GIVE THEM A
SCARE.
LET'S FIRE THE MOUSE RAY.
204
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,444
SCARE.
LET'S FIRE THE MOUSE RAY.
FIRING THE MOUSE RAY.
205
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:02,211
LET'S FIRE THE MOUSE RAY.
FIRING THE MOUSE RAY.
MMM!
206
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,569
FIRING THE MOUSE RAY.
MMM!
[BEEPING]
207
00:10:12,444 --> 00:10:20,444
All: EEK! EEK! EEK! EEK!
CAPTAIN MACHO, WE'VE LOST
CONTROL!
208
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,461
CAPTAIN MACHO, WE'VE LOST
CONTROL!
WE'RE GONNA COLLIDE!
209
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:37,762
[CRASHING]
DAMAGE REPORT!
NO SERIOUS DAMAGE, CAPTAIN,
210
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,919
DAMAGE REPORT!
NO SERIOUS DAMAGE, CAPTAIN,
BUT OUR VESSEL WILL NEVER BE THE
211
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,988
NO SERIOUS DAMAGE, CAPTAIN,
BUT OUR VESSEL WILL NEVER BE THE
SAME.
212
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,055
BUT OUR VESSEL WILL NEVER BE THE
SAME.
MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE THEM
213
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,189
SAME.
MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE THEM
HALF AN HOUR AND SEE IF THEY'LL
214
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:50,426
MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE THEM
HALF AN HOUR AND SEE IF THEY'LL
ATTACK AGAIN.
215
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,694
HALF AN HOUR AND SEE IF THEY'LL
ATTACK AGAIN.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I
216
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:57,967
ATTACK AGAIN.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I
COULD CERTAINLY USE A CIGARETTE.
217
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,769
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I
COULD CERTAINLY USE A CIGARETTE.
THAT WAS SOME BATTLE, MEN.
218
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,170
COULD CERTAINLY USE A CIGARETTE.
THAT WAS SOME BATTLE, MEN.
I THINK WE'D BETTER GET SOME
219
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:01,738
THAT WAS SOME BATTLE, MEN.
I THINK WE'D BETTER GET SOME
SLEEP.
220
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,305
I THINK WE'D BETTER GET SOME
SLEEP.
ARE YOU SURE, CAPTAIN?
221
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,008
SLEEP.
ARE YOU SURE, CAPTAIN?
I THINK WE OUGHT TO DO BATTLE
222
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:05,908
ARE YOU SURE, CAPTAIN?
I THINK WE OUGHT TO DO BATTLE
AGAIN RIGHT NOW.
223
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,777
I THINK WE OUGHT TO DO BATTLE
AGAIN RIGHT NOW.
NO! NO!
224
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,734
AGAIN RIGHT NOW.
NO! NO!
GET SOME SLEEP.
225
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:25,116
Announcer: JOIN US NEXT WEEK
FOR "ESCAPE FROM THE PLANET OF
THE GAYS."
226
00:11:28,954 --> 00:11:31,801
HERE'S SOMEBODY I THINK
YOU'LL BE HEARING A LOT MORE
ABOUT.
227
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,002
YOU'LL BE HEARING A LOT MORE
ABOUT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
228
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,603
ABOUT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
LIBBY TITUS.
229
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,438
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
LIBBY TITUS.
[APPLAUSE]
230
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:38,074
LIBBY TITUS.
[APPLAUSE]
[INTRO TO "FOOL THAT I AM"
231
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:46,015
[APPLAUSE]
[INTRO TO "FOOL THAT I AM"
PLAYS]
232
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,217
[INTRO TO "FOOL THAT I AM"
PLAYS]
♪ THE FIRST TIME THAT I SAW
233
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:52,155
[PLAYS]
♪ THE FIRST TIME THAT I SAW
YOU WAS IN CHINATOWN ♪
234
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:55,091
♪ THE FIRST TIME THAT I SAW
YOU WAS IN CHINATOWN ♪
♪ YOU SMILED AT ME,
235
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:58,561
YOU WAS IN CHINATOWN ♪
♪ YOU SMILED AT ME,
AND MY HEAD FELL DOWN ♪
236
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:01,197
♪ YOU SMILED AT ME,
AND MY HEAD FELL DOWN ♪
♪ THE NEXT TIME THAT I SAW YOU
237
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,701
AND MY HEAD FELL DOWN ♪
♪ THE NEXT TIME THAT I SAW YOU
WAS AT HOME ON TV ♪
238
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,670
♪ THE NEXT TIME THAT I SAW YOU
WAS AT HOME ON TV ♪
♪ I REACHED FOR THE DIAL
239
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:11,240
WAS AT HOME ON TV ♪
♪ I REACHED FOR THE DIAL
JUST AS YOU REACHED FOR ME ♪
240
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:17,246
♪ I REACHED FOR THE DIAL
JUST AS YOU REACHED FOR ME ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
241
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,683
JUST AS YOU REACHED FOR ME ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
♪ I WAITED FOR YOU,
242
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:23,820
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
♪ I WAITED FOR YOU,
HOPING YOU KNEW ♪
243
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:28,780
♪ I WAITED FOR YOU,
HOPING YOU KNEW ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
244
00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:44,288
♪ A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE SAID
YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME ♪
♪ I KEPT A WATCH ON THE PHONE,
245
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:48,778
YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME ♪
♪ I KEPT A WATCH ON THE PHONE,
BUT UNFORTUNATELY ♪
246
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:51,480
♪ I KEPT A WATCH ON THE PHONE,
BUT UNFORTUNATELY ♪
♪ WHEN YOUR CALL CAME,
247
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:54,416
BUT UNFORTUNATELY ♪
♪ WHEN YOUR CALL CAME,
I WAS BADLY MISPLACED ♪
248
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:58,387
♪ WHEN YOUR CALL CAME,
I WAS BADLY MISPLACED ♪
♪ BY THE TIME I GOT FOUND,
249
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,323
I WAS BADLY MISPLACED ♪
♪ BY THE TIME I GOT FOUND,
YOU COULDN'T BE TRACED ♪
250
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:07,429
♪ BY THE TIME I GOT FOUND,
YOU COULDN'T BE TRACED ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
251
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,833
YOU COULDN'T BE TRACED ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
♪ I WAITED FOR YOU,
252
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:13,936
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
♪ I WAITED FOR YOU,
HOPING YOU KNEW ♪
253
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:21,010
♪ I WAITED FOR YOU,
HOPING YOU KNEW ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
254
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,334
HOPING YOU KNEW ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
[SCATTING]
255
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:53,257
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
♪ I WAITED FOR YOU,
HOPING YOU KNEW ♪
256
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:03,186
♪ I WAITED FOR YOU,
HOPING YOU KNEW ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
257
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,923
HOPING YOU KNEW ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
♪ I WAITED FOR YOU,
258
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:10,026
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
♪ I WAITED FOR YOU,
HOPING YOU KNEW ♪
259
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:16,665
♪ I WAITED FOR YOU,
HOPING YOU KNEW ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
260
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:24,689
HOPING YOU KNEW ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
261
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,499
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
♪ FOOL THAT I AM ♪
[APPLAUSE]
262
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:46,262
LAST WEEK, LORNE MICHAELS,
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S" DYNAMIC
YOUNG PRODUCER, SAT IN THIS VERY
263
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,397
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S" DYNAMIC
YOUNG PRODUCER, SAT IN THIS VERY
CHAIR AND TOLD YOU, THE AMERICAN
264
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,666
YOUNG PRODUCER, SAT IN THIS VERY
CHAIR AND TOLD YOU, THE AMERICAN
TELEVISION VIEWER, THAT ANYONE
265
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,434
CHAIR AND TOLD YOU, THE AMERICAN
TELEVISION VIEWER, THAT ANYONE
CAN HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT'S"
266
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,669
TELEVISION VIEWER, THAT ANYONE
CAN HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT'S"
CHRISTMAS SHOW.
267
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,972
CAN HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT'S"
CHRISTMAS SHOW.
WELL, THIS WEEK, LORNE ASKED ME
268
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,074
CHRISTMAS SHOW.
WELL, THIS WEEK, LORNE ASKED ME
TO DO THIS SPOT TO EMPHASIZE
269
00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,509
WELL, THIS WEEK, LORNE ASKED ME
TO DO THIS SPOT TO EMPHASIZE
THAT ANYONE CAN HOST.
270
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,411
TO DO THIS SPOT TO EMPHASIZE
THAT ANYONE CAN HOST.
ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS WRITE A
271
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,446
THAT ANYONE CAN HOST.
ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS WRITE A
POSTCARD, 25 WORDS OR LESS, ON
272
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,848
ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS WRITE A
POSTCARD, 25 WORDS OR LESS, ON
"WHY I WANT TO HOST
273
00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,917
POSTCARD, 25 WORDS OR LESS, ON
"WHY I WANT TO HOST
'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'" AND SEND
274
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,501
"WHY I WANT TO HOST
'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'" AND SEND
IT TO US AT...
275
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:19,128
YOUR ENTRY MUST BE IN BY
MIDNIGHT, NOVEMBER 1st.
AND IF WE THINK YOUR POSTCARD IS
276
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,163
MIDNIGHT, NOVEMBER 1st.
AND IF WE THINK YOUR POSTCARD IS
FUNNY AND ORIGINAL, YOU MIGHT BE
277
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,065
AND IF WE THINK YOUR POSTCARD IS
FUNNY AND ORIGINAL, YOU MIGHT BE
ONE OF FIVE FINALISTS FLOWN TO
278
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,101
FUNNY AND ORIGINAL, YOU MIGHT BE
ONE OF FIVE FINALISTS FLOWN TO
AND FROM NEW YORK IN NOVEMBER TO
279
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,069
ONE OF FIVE FINALISTS FLOWN TO
AND FROM NEW YORK IN NOVEMBER TO
READ HIS OR HER POSTCARD ON THE
280
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,104
AND FROM NEW YORK IN NOVEMBER TO
READ HIS OR HER POSTCARD ON THE
AIR.
281
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,372
READ HIS OR HER POSTCARD ON THE
AIR.
THEN IT'S UP TO THE PEOPLE AT
282
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,373
AIR.
THEN IT'S UP TO THE PEOPLE AT
HOME TO DECIDE.
283
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,108
THEN IT'S UP TO THE PEOPLE AT
HOME TO DECIDE.
THE LUCKY WINNER WILL BE FLOWN
284
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,910
HOME TO DECIDE.
THE LUCKY WINNER WILL BE FLOWN
TO NEW YORK, PUT UP AT THE SWANK
285
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:37,280
THE LUCKY WINNER WILL BE FLOWN
TO NEW YORK, PUT UP AT THE SWANK
ESSEX HOUSE HOTEL, AND PAID
286
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,949
TO NEW YORK, PUT UP AT THE SWANK
ESSEX HOUSE HOTEL, AND PAID
$3,000 TO HOST
287
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:41,117
ESSEX HOUSE HOTEL, AND PAID
$3,000 TO HOST
"SATURDAY NIGHT'S" CHRISTMAS
288
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:42,684
$3,000 TO HOST
"SATURDAY NIGHT'S" CHRISTMAS
SHOW ON DECEMBER 17th.
289
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:46,322
"SATURDAY NIGHT'S" CHRISTMAS
SHOW ON DECEMBER 17th.
REMEMBER, ANYONE CAN HOST.
290
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,291
SHOW ON DECEMBER 17th.
REMEMBER, ANYONE CAN HOST.
UH, WELL, NOT REALLY ANYONE.
291
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,592
REMEMBER, ANYONE CAN HOST.
UH, WELL, NOT REALLY ANYONE.
FOR EXAMPLE, I CAN'T HOST.
292
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,860
UH, WELL, NOT REALLY ANYONE.
FOR EXAMPLE, I CAN'T HOST.
Announcer: THAT'S RIGHT,
293
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,595
FOR EXAMPLE, I CAN'T HOST.
Announcer: THAT'S RIGHT,
GARRETT, BECAUSE NBC EMPLOYEES
294
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,398
Announcer: THAT'S RIGHT,
GARRETT, BECAUSE NBC EMPLOYEES
AND RELATIVES ARE NOT ELIGIBLE.
295
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:57,099
GARRETT, BECAUSE NBC EMPLOYEES
AND RELATIVES ARE NOT ELIGIBLE.
I'D LIKE TO HOST THE SHOW, TOO,
296
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,234
AND RELATIVES ARE NOT ELIGIBLE.
I'D LIKE TO HOST THE SHOW, TOO,
BUT I CAN'T.
297
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,069
I'D LIKE TO HOST THE SHOW, TOO,
BUT I CAN'T.
ONCE AGAIN, SEND THOSE
298
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,573
BUT I CAN'T.
ONCE AGAIN, SEND THOSE
POSTCARDS, NO LETTERS, TO...
299
00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:23,625
I'M DONE STUDYING FOR
TONIGHT.
HOW ABOUT YOU, HONEY?
300
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:24,393
TONIGHT.
HOW ABOUT YOU, HONEY?
YEAH.
301
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,494
HOW ABOUT YOU, HONEY?
YEAH.
I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA FIND A
302
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,562
YEAH.
I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA FIND A
CURE FOR CANCER TONIGHT.
303
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,797
I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA FIND A
CURE FOR CANCER TONIGHT.
YEAH.
304
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,999
CURE FOR CANCER TONIGHT.
YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST
305
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:33,002
YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST
RELAX, SMOKE A JOINT, GO TO BED?
306
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,636
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST
RELAX, SMOKE A JOINT, GO TO BED?
GREAT IDEA.
307
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,338
RELAX, SMOKE A JOINT, GO TO BED?
GREAT IDEA.
YEAH.
308
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:38,174
GREAT IDEA.
YEAH.
TOO MUCH STUDYING, YOU KNOW?
309
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:40,242
YEAH.
TOO MUCH STUDYING, YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW, DR. SHELL'S PAPER ON
310
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,445
TOO MUCH STUDYING, YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW, DR. SHELL'S PAPER ON
THE ISOLATION OF CANCER CELLS IN
311
00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,046
YOU KNOW, DR. SHELL'S PAPER ON
THE ISOLATION OF CANCER CELLS IN
BLADDER TISSUE IS VERY
312
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:45,047
THE ISOLATION OF CANCER CELLS IN
BLADDER TISSUE IS VERY
INTERESTING.
313
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:46,282
BLADDER TISSUE IS VERY
INTERESTING.
I'LL HAVE TO READ THAT BEFORE
314
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:47,283
INTERESTING.
I'LL HAVE TO READ THAT BEFORE
I GO TO THE DAYCARE CENTER
315
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:47,749
I'LL HAVE TO READ THAT BEFORE
I GO TO THE DAYCARE CENTER
TOMORROW.
316
00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:49,518
I GO TO THE DAYCARE CENTER
TOMORROW.
OH, YEAH, PLEASE.
317
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:53,522
TOMORROW.
OH, YEAH, PLEASE.
I GOT IT HERE SOMEWHERE.
318
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:58,160
OH, YEAH, PLEASE.
I GOT IT HERE SOMEWHERE.
[INHALING]
319
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,562
I GOT IT HERE SOMEWHERE.
[INHALING]
AHHHH!
320
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:01,297
[INHALING]
AHHHH!
FREEZE!
321
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:02,664
AHHHH!
FREEZE!
X-POLICE!
322
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,833
FREEZE!
X-POLICE!
X-POLICE?!
323
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,002
X-POLICE!
X-POLICE?!
WE WERE KICKED OFF THE FORCE
324
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:09,505
X-POLICE?!
WE WERE KICKED OFF THE FORCE
A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.
325
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,639
WE WERE KICKED OFF THE FORCE
A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.
BUT THAT WON'T KEEP US FROM
326
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,540
A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.
BUT THAT WON'T KEEP US FROM
ENFORCING THE LAW!
327
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,442
BUT THAT WON'T KEEP US FROM
ENFORCING THE LAW!
YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA.
328
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:14,276
ENFORCING THE LAW!
YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA.
IT'S A FELONY!
329
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,444
YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA.
IT'S A FELONY!
YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE
330
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,379
IT'S A FELONY!
YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE
WITHOUT A WARRANT!
331
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:17,013
YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE
WITHOUT A WARRANT!
ALL RIGHT.
332
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,214
WITHOUT A WARRANT!
ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS MY WARRANT, BABY.
333
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:18,914
ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS MY WARRANT, BABY.
AAH!
334
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:19,615
THIS IS MY WARRANT, BABY.
AAH!
HEY!
335
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:20,682
AAH!
HEY!
LOOK, YOU CAN'T...
336
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,018
HEY!
LOOK, YOU CAN'T...
WHAAA!
337
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,919
LOOK, YOU CAN'T...
WHAAA!
I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'VE EVER
338
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,155
WHAAA!
I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'VE EVER
SEEN A 13-YEAR-OLD TURNED ON TO
339
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,224
I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'VE EVER
SEEN A 13-YEAR-OLD TURNED ON TO
HEROIN BECAUSE SOME PUNK LIKE
340
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,859
SEEN A 13-YEAR-OLD TURNED ON TO
HEROIN BECAUSE SOME PUNK LIKE
YOU GAVE HER A MARIJUANA JOINT!
341
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,528
HEROIN BECAUSE SOME PUNK LIKE
YOU GAVE HER A MARIJUANA JOINT!
POT, GRASS, MARIJUANA... IT'S
342
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,929
YOU GAVE HER A MARIJUANA JOINT!
POT, GRASS, MARIJUANA... IT'S
ALL THE SAME!
343
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,297
POT, GRASS, MARIJUANA... IT'S
ALL THE SAME!
JOE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP
344
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,598
ALL THE SAME!
JOE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP
HITTING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE
345
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:37,133
JOE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP
HITTING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE
WALL.
346
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,401
HITTING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE
WALL.
HE'S ALREADY UNCONSCIOUS.
347
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,136
WALL.
HE'S ALREADY UNCONSCIOUS.
HE COULD GET SERIOUSLY HURT.
348
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,471
HE'S ALREADY UNCONSCIOUS.
HE COULD GET SERIOUSLY HURT.
I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT!
349
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:47,276
HE COULD GET SERIOUSLY HURT.
I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT!
[MOANS]
350
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,444
I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT!
[MOANS]
IT'S TOO LATE.
351
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,646
[MOANS]
IT'S TOO LATE.
HE'S DEAD.
352
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:56,485
IT'S TOO LATE.
HE'S DEAD.
ANOTHER MARIJUANA-RELATED DEATH.
353
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,553
HE'S DEAD.
ANOTHER MARIJUANA-RELATED DEATH.
BETTER MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THE
354
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,187
ANOTHER MARIJUANA-RELATED DEATH.
BETTER MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THE
GIRL DID IT.
355
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,156
BETTER MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THE
GIRL DID IT.
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
356
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,324
GIRL DID IT.
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
[GUNSHOT]
357
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,426
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
[GUNSHOT]
OKAY, GIVE ME THAT GLASS OF
358
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:08,630
[GUNSHOT]
OKAY, GIVE ME THAT GLASS OF
WATER.
359
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,266
OKAY, GIVE ME THAT GLASS OF
WATER.
HERE.
360
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:13,536
WATER.
HERE.
WIPE YOUR PRINTS.
361
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:18,941
HERE.
WIPE YOUR PRINTS.
AAH!
362
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,610
WIPE YOUR PRINTS.
AAH!
WHAT HAPPENED?!
363
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:22,611
AAH!
WHAT HAPPENED?!
[SCOFFS]
364
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:25,181
WHAT HAPPENED?!
[SCOFFS]
YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA.
365
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,216
[SCOFFS]
YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA.
YOU GOT HYSTERICAL, HE THREW A
366
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,351
YOU TWO WERE SMOKING MARIJUANA.
YOU GOT HYSTERICAL, HE THREW A
GLASS OF WATER IN YOUR FACE, AND
367
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:32,988
YOU GOT HYSTERICAL, HE THREW A
GLASS OF WATER IN YOUR FACE, AND
YOU SHOT HIM!
368
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,656
GLASS OF WATER IN YOUR FACE, AND
YOU SHOT HIM!
WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
369
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,725
YOU SHOT HIM!
WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
AAAAAAHH!
370
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:42,898
WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
AAAAAAHH!
[GLASS SHATTERING]
371
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:46,835
AAAAAAHH!
[GLASS SHATTERING]
MARIJUANA.
372
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:47,903
[GLASS SHATTERING]
MARIJUANA.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE
373
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,607
MARIJUANA.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE
THE REAL POLICE ARRIVE.
374
00:18:56,335 --> 00:19:00,216
Announcer: SUSAN KLEIN
RECOVERED FROM HER FALL AND WAS
CONVICTED OF FIRST-DEGREE MURDER
375
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,517
RECOVERED FROM HER FALL AND WAS
CONVICTED OF FIRST-DEGREE MURDER
IN THE SHOOTING DEATH OF HER
376
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,451
CONVICTED OF FIRST-DEGREE MURDER
IN THE SHOOTING DEATH OF HER
HUSBAND.
377
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,885
IN THE SHOOTING DEATH OF HER
HUSBAND.
SHE WAS SENTENCED TO LIFE IN
378
00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:05,387
HUSBAND.
SHE WAS SENTENCED TO LIFE IN
PRISON AT THE CALIFORNIA STATE
379
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:06,888
SHE WAS SENTENCED TO LIFE IN
PRISON AT THE CALIFORNIA STATE
WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY WHERE SHE
380
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:10,526
PRISON AT THE CALIFORNIA STATE
WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY WHERE SHE
WAS KILLED IN A PRISON RIOT.
381
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,060
WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY WHERE SHE
WAS KILLED IN A PRISON RIOT.
JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK FOR
382
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:16,020
WAS KILLED IN A PRISON RIOT.
JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK FOR
ANOTHER EPISODE OF "X-POLICE"!
383
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:34,049
GEE, HEF, THANKS FOR TAKING
TIME OUT FROM YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE
TO HELP ME WITH MY THESIS.
384
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,851
TIME OUT FROM YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE
TO HELP ME WITH MY THESIS.
AH, LISTEN, IT'S A PLEASURE.
385
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,119
TO HELP ME WITH MY THESIS.
AH, LISTEN, IT'S A PLEASURE.
IT'S NOT EVERY DAY I'M ABLE TO
386
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,420
AH, LISTEN, IT'S A PLEASURE.
IT'S NOT EVERY DAY I'M ABLE TO
PARTICIPATE IN THE EDUCATION OF
387
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:39,455
IT'S NOT EVERY DAY I'M ABLE TO
PARTICIPATE IN THE EDUCATION OF
A COMELY YOUNG COED LIKE
388
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:40,523
PARTICIPATE IN THE EDUCATION OF
A COMELY YOUNG COED LIKE
YOURSELF.
389
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:41,890
A COMELY YOUNG COED LIKE
YOURSELF.
BESIDES, I REALLY APPRECIATE THE
390
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,259
YOURSELF.
BESIDES, I REALLY APPRECIATE THE
OPPORTUNITY TO QUIT WORKING FOR
391
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,627
BESIDES, I REALLY APPRECIATE THE
OPPORTUNITY TO QUIT WORKING FOR
A NIGHT AND DO THE THING I ENJOY
392
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:45,161
OPPORTUNITY TO QUIT WORKING FOR
A NIGHT AND DO THE THING I ENJOY
THE MOST.
393
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:46,529
A NIGHT AND DO THE THING I ENJOY
THE MOST.
[GIGGLES]
394
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:47,929
THE MOST.
[GIGGLES]
DID YOU BRING THE EQUIPMENT?
395
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:49,198
[GIGGLES]
DID YOU BRING THE EQUIPMENT?
YES, I HAVE EVERYTHING WE
396
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:49,665
DID YOU BRING THE EQUIPMENT?
YES, I HAVE EVERYTHING WE
NEED.
397
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,799
YES, I HAVE EVERYTHING WE
NEED.
WELL, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO
398
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:51,400
NEED.
WELL, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO
FIRST?
399
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:52,501
WELL, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO
FIRST?
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE?
400
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,402
FIRST?
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE?
THE PROTRACTOR.
401
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,770
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE?
THE PROTRACTOR.
NOW, COULD YOU EXPLAIN YOUR
402
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:55,837
THE PROTRACTOR.
NOW, COULD YOU EXPLAIN YOUR
RESEARCH A LITTLE MORE
403
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,772
NOW, COULD YOU EXPLAIN YOUR
RESEARCH A LITTLE MORE
SPECIFICALLY TO ME?
404
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,340
RESEARCH A LITTLE MORE
SPECIFICALLY TO ME?
WELL, IT'S LIKE I SAID...
405
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,176
SPECIFICALLY TO ME?
WELL, IT'S LIKE I SAID...
TONIGHT I INTEND TO PROVE THE
406
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,178
WELL, IT'S LIKE I SAID...
TONIGHT I INTEND TO PROVE THE
MAJOR HYPOTHESIS OF MY THESIS ON
407
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,679
TONIGHT I INTEND TO PROVE THE
MAJOR HYPOTHESIS OF MY THESIS ON
MALE SEXUAL PERFORMANCE
408
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,947
MAJOR HYPOTHESIS OF MY THESIS ON
MALE SEXUAL PERFORMANCE
TERRITORIES AND THEIR GEOMETRIC
409
00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:07,683
MALE SEXUAL PERFORMANCE
TERRITORIES AND THEIR GEOMETRIC
VARIANCE USING YOU AND YOUR
410
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:08,617
TERRITORIES AND THEIR GEOMETRIC
VARIANCE USING YOU AND YOUR
CIRCULAR BED.
411
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:09,685
VARIANCE USING YOU AND YOUR
CIRCULAR BED.
SOUNDS GOOD.
412
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,620
CIRCULAR BED.
SOUNDS GOOD.
NOW, WHAT HYPOTHESIS DO YOU HOPE
413
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:12,721
SOUNDS GOOD.
NOW, WHAT HYPOTHESIS DO YOU HOPE
TO PROVE?
414
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:15,023
NOW, WHAT HYPOTHESIS DO YOU HOPE
TO PROVE?
WELL, IF TWO BODIES INTERSECT
415
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,958
TO PROVE?
WELL, IF TWO BODIES INTERSECT
AT VARIOUS ANGLES WITHIN A
416
00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:19,261
WELL, IF TWO BODIES INTERSECT
AT VARIOUS ANGLES WITHIN A
CIRCULAR AREA AND LOVE-MAKING IS
417
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,397
AT VARIOUS ANGLES WITHIN A
CIRCULAR AREA AND LOVE-MAKING IS
PERFORMED FOR 3.14 MINUTES IN
418
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,599
CIRCULAR AREA AND LOVE-MAKING IS
PERFORMED FOR 3.14 MINUTES IN
EACH QUADRANT, BY THE TIME THE
419
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,767
PERFORMED FOR 3.14 MINUTES IN
EACH QUADRANT, BY THE TIME THE
BODIES REACH THE MIDPOINT, THE
420
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:28,070
EACH QUADRANT, BY THE TIME THE
BODIES REACH THE MIDPOINT, THE
COUPLE WILL ACHIEVE PI!
421
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:29,004
BODIES REACH THE MIDPOINT, THE
COUPLE WILL ACHIEVE PI!
GREAT.
422
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:30,439
COUPLE WILL ACHIEVE PI!
GREAT.
LET'S GO TO WORK.
423
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:31,607
GREAT.
LET'S GO TO WORK.
LET'S DO IT FOR SCIENCE.
424
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:32,208
LET'S GO TO WORK.
LET'S DO IT FOR SCIENCE.
OKAY.
425
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,276
LET'S DO IT FOR SCIENCE.
OKAY.
[BEEPING]
426
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:34,976
OKAY.
[BEEPING]
OH, NO.
427
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:35,911
[BEEPING]
OH, NO.
WHAT'S THAT?
428
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:36,978
OH, NO.
WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S MY BEEPER.
429
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:38,714
WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S MY BEEPER.
IT BEEPS EVERY TIME AN IMPORTANT
430
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,316
IT'S MY BEEPER.
IT BEEPS EVERY TIME AN IMPORTANT
CALL COMES IN ON MY ANSWERING
431
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:40,916
IT BEEPS EVERY TIME AN IMPORTANT
CALL COMES IN ON MY ANSWERING
SERVICE.
432
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,818
CALL COMES IN ON MY ANSWERING
SERVICE.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO PHONE THE
433
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:43,485
SERVICE.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO PHONE THE
SERVICE.
434
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,254
I'M GONNA HAVE TO PHONE THE
SERVICE.
THAT'S WHAT THAT LITTLE BLACK
435
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:45,921
SERVICE.
THAT'S WHAT THAT LITTLE BLACK
BOX WAS?
436
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,223
THAT'S WHAT THAT LITTLE BLACK
BOX WAS?
I WAS AFRAID TO ASK.
437
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:50,526
BOX WAS?
I WAS AFRAID TO ASK.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A PACEMAKER.
438
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:52,194
I WAS AFRAID TO ASK.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A PACEMAKER.
NO.
439
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,229
I THOUGHT IT WAS A PACEMAKER.
NO.
EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE 'CAUSE I
440
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,230
NO.
EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE 'CAUSE I
AM GONNA HAVE TO CALL MY
441
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:54,630
EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE 'CAUSE I
AM GONNA HAVE TO CALL MY
SERVICE.
442
00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,532
AM GONNA HAVE TO CALL MY
SERVICE.
I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN.
443
00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:57,533
SERVICE.
I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN.
NO, NO, NO.
444
00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:58,900
I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN.
NO, NO, NO.
I GIVE YOU MY WORD, THIS IS OUR
445
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,202
NO, NO, NO.
I GIVE YOU MY WORD, THIS IS OUR
NIGHT.
446
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,871
I GIVE YOU MY WORD, THIS IS OUR
NIGHT.
UH, HELLO, THIS IS HEFNER.
447
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,206
NIGHT.
UH, HELLO, THIS IS HEFNER.
WHO CALLED?
448
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:05,507
UH, HELLO, THIS IS HEFNER.
WHO CALLED?
OH, REALLY?
449
00:21:05,531 --> 00:21:06,842
WHO CALLED?
OH, REALLY?
AGAIN, HUH?
450
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,177
OH, REALLY?
AGAIN, HUH?
WHAT'S HE WANT THIS TIME?
451
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:09,778
AGAIN, HUH?
WHAT'S HE WANT THIS TIME?
I SEE.
452
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,046
WHAT'S HE WANT THIS TIME?
I SEE.
WELL, LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE
453
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:11,980
I SEE.
WELL, LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE
DISTURBED TONIGHT.
454
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,349
WELL, LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE
DISTURBED TONIGHT.
LET'S HOLD ALL CALLS, AND TELL
455
00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:14,683
DISTURBED TONIGHT.
LET'S HOLD ALL CALLS, AND TELL
HIM I'LL CALL HIM TOMORROW.
456
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:15,784
LET'S HOLD ALL CALLS, AND TELL
HIM I'LL CALL HIM TOMORROW.
OKAY?
457
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:16,619
HIM I'LL CALL HIM TOMORROW.
OKAY?
OKAY.
458
00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:17,919
OKAY?
OKAY.
ALWAYS IN DEMAND.
459
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,788
OKAY.
ALWAYS IN DEMAND.
IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS
460
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,323
ALWAYS IN DEMAND.
IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS
TRYING TO REACH YOU, HEF.
461
00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:22,858
IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS
TRYING TO REACH YOU, HEF.
YES, BUT I WANT TO FORGET ALL
462
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:23,592
TRYING TO REACH YOU, HEF.
YES, BUT I WANT TO FORGET ALL
THEM TONIGHT.
463
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,361
YES, BUT I WANT TO FORGET ALL
THEM TONIGHT.
TELL ME, AM I THE ONLY SUBJECT
464
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,129
THEM TONIGHT.
TELL ME, AM I THE ONLY SUBJECT
IN YOUR EXPERIMENT WHO OWNS AN
465
00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:28,330
TELL ME, AM I THE ONLY SUBJECT
IN YOUR EXPERIMENT WHO OWNS AN
UNCOMMONLY SHAPED BED?
466
00:21:28,354 --> 00:21:29,265
IN YOUR EXPERIMENT WHO OWNS AN
UNCOMMONLY SHAPED BED?
OH, NO.
467
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,666
UNCOMMONLY SHAPED BED?
OH, NO.
I EXPERIMENTED WITH AN
468
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,301
OH, NO.
I EXPERIMENTED WITH AN
OCTOGENARIAN WHO SLEPT ON A
469
00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:32,968
I EXPERIMENTED WITH AN
OCTOGENARIAN WHO SLEPT ON A
HEXAGON.
470
00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:34,202
OCTOGENARIAN WHO SLEPT ON A
HEXAGON.
HE DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE
471
00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:34,836
HEXAGON.
HE DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE
NIGHT.
472
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:35,604
HE DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE
NIGHT.
[BEEPING]
473
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:36,705
NIGHT.
[BEEPING]
OH.
474
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:38,106
[BEEPING]
OH.
I THOUGHT YOU TOLD THEM TO
475
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:38,940
OH.
I THOUGHT YOU TOLD THEM TO
HOLD ALL CALLS.
476
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,376
I THOUGHT YOU TOLD THEM TO
HOLD ALL CALLS.
YES, THAT'S NOT THE BEEPER.
477
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:44,446
HOLD ALL CALLS.
YES, THAT'S NOT THE BEEPER.
THAT'S OUR PLAYBOY RADAR SCAN.
478
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,782
YES, THAT'S NOT THE BEEPER.
THAT'S OUR PLAYBOY RADAR SCAN.
IT MEANS THAT...
479
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,884
THAT'S OUR PLAYBOY RADAR SCAN.
IT MEANS THAT...
SOMEONE'S LANDING ON THE HELIPAD
480
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,419
IT MEANS THAT...
SOMEONE'S LANDING ON THE HELIPAD
UP ON THE ROOF.
481
00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:51,953
SOMEONE'S LANDING ON THE HELIPAD
UP ON THE ROOF.
HEF, I BETTER GO.
482
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,422
UP ON THE ROOF.
HEF, I BETTER GO.
YOU'RE TOO BUSY TO BE BOTHERED
483
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:54,823
HEF, I BETTER GO.
YOU'RE TOO BUSY TO BE BOTHERED
BY SOME COED WHO'S WORKING ON
484
00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:55,658
YOU'RE TOO BUSY TO BE BOTHERED
BY SOME COED WHO'S WORKING ON
HER THESIS.
485
00:21:55,682 --> 00:21:56,958
BY SOME COED WHO'S WORKING ON
HER THESIS.
NO, I TOLD YOU THIS IS GONNA
486
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:57,593
HER THESIS.
NO, I TOLD YOU THIS IS GONNA
BE OUR NIGHT.
487
00:21:57,617 --> 00:21:59,261
NO, I TOLD YOU THIS IS GONNA
BE OUR NIGHT.
NO ONE IS GONNA DISTURB US, NOT
488
00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:00,763
BE OUR NIGHT.
NO ONE IS GONNA DISTURB US, NOT
EVEN IF THE PRESIDENT OF THE
489
00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:02,230
NO ONE IS GONNA DISTURB US, NOT
EVEN IF THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES WERE TO CALL.
490
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,774
EVEN IF THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES WERE TO CALL.
OKAY.
491
00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:16,278
EXCUSE ME, HEF.
HELLO, MA'AM.
HEF, I TRIED CALLING ON THE
492
00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:17,479
HELLO, MA'AM.
HEF, I TRIED CALLING ON THE
PHONE, BUT THEY SAID THAT THEY
493
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:18,580
HEF, I TRIED CALLING ON THE
PHONE, BUT THEY SAID THAT THEY
PUT YOU ON HOLD THERE, AND I
494
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:19,548
PHONE, BUT THEY SAID THAT THEY
PUT YOU ON HOLD THERE, AND I
JUST HAD TO TALK TO YOU.
495
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:20,816
PUT YOU ON HOLD THERE, AND I
JUST HAD TO TALK TO YOU.
I NEED SOME ADVICE FROM YOU
496
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:21,950
JUST HAD TO TALK TO YOU.
I NEED SOME ADVICE FROM YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING.
497
00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:22,984
I NEED SOME ADVICE FROM YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING.
WHAT IS IT NOW, JIMMY?
498
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:24,186
ABOUT SOMETHING.
WHAT IS IT NOW, JIMMY?
CAN I SIT DOWN HERE ON THE
499
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:24,653
WHAT IS IT NOW, JIMMY?
CAN I SIT DOWN HERE ON THE
BED?
500
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:26,087
CAN I SIT DOWN HERE ON THE
BED?
SURE.
501
00:22:26,111 --> 00:22:27,289
BED?
SURE.
WELL, HEF, AS YOU KNOW, THE
502
00:22:27,313 --> 00:22:28,557
SURE.
WELL, HEF, AS YOU KNOW, THE
GENEVA CONFERENCE IS NEXT WEEK.
503
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:29,658
WELL, HEF, AS YOU KNOW, THE
GENEVA CONFERENCE IS NEXT WEEK.
THERE ARE GONNA BE A LOT OF
504
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:30,892
GENEVA CONFERENCE IS NEXT WEEK.
THERE ARE GONNA BE A LOT OF
COUNTRIES THERE, AND I WANT TO
505
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:31,860
THERE ARE GONNA BE A LOT OF
COUNTRIES THERE, AND I WANT TO
MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.
506
00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:33,228
COUNTRIES THERE, AND I WANT TO
MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.
I LIKE TO GET BACK IN MY HOTEL
507
00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:34,530
MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.
I LIKE TO GET BACK IN MY HOTEL
ROOM, THINK ABOUT POLICY, AND
508
00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:35,931
I LIKE TO GET BACK IN MY HOTEL
ROOM, THINK ABOUT POLICY, AND
RELAX AND LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC.
509
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,466
ROOM, THINK ABOUT POLICY, AND
RELAX AND LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC.
I LIKE TO PLAY MY MUSIC LOUD, SO
510
00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:39,000
RELAX AND LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC.
I LIKE TO PLAY MY MUSIC LOUD, SO
I DON'T WANT TO DISTURB ANYBODY
511
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:40,168
I LIKE TO PLAY MY MUSIC LOUD, SO
I DON'T WANT TO DISTURB ANYBODY
IN THE HOTEL, AND I WAS
512
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,337
I DON'T WANT TO DISTURB ANYBODY
IN THE HOTEL, AND I WAS
WONDERING, WHAT KIND OF
513
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,872
IN THE HOTEL, AND I WAS
WONDERING, WHAT KIND OF
HEADPHONES SHOULD I BUY?
514
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:45,307
WONDERING, WHAT KIND OF
HEADPHONES SHOULD I BUY?
SECRETARY OF STATE VANCE AND I
515
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:45,941
HEADPHONES SHOULD I BUY?
SECRETARY OF STATE VANCE AND I
HAD A BET.
516
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:47,409
SECRETARY OF STATE VANCE AND I
HAD A BET.
HE SAID YOU'D SAY CLAUS K190s,
517
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:48,610
HAD A BET.
HE SAID YOU'D SAY CLAUS K190s,
AND I FIGURED YOU'D SAID
518
00:22:48,634 --> 00:22:50,412
HE SAID YOU'D SAY CLAUS K190s,
AND I FIGURED YOU'D SAID
MASTERSOUND PRO 15s.
519
00:22:50,436 --> 00:22:51,380
AND I FIGURED YOU'D SAID
MASTERSOUND PRO 15s.
WELL, IF YOU SAID
520
00:22:51,404 --> 00:22:52,715
MASTERSOUND PRO 15s.
WELL, IF YOU SAID
MASTERSOUND PRO 15s, COLLECT
521
00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:53,315
WELL, IF YOU SAID
MASTERSOUND PRO 15s, COLLECT
YOUR MONEY.
522
00:22:53,339 --> 00:22:54,316
MASTERSOUND PRO 15s, COLLECT
YOUR MONEY.
YOU WON THE BET.
523
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:55,818
YOUR MONEY.
YOU WON THE BET.
MASTERSOUND PUTS OUT SEPARATE
524
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:57,419
YOU WON THE BET.
MASTERSOUND PUTS OUT SEPARATE
TWEETER AND WOOFER IN EACH CUP,
525
00:22:57,443 --> 00:22:58,854
MASTERSOUND PUTS OUT SEPARATE
TWEETER AND WOOFER IN EACH CUP,
COUPLED BY A FULL CROSSOVER
526
00:22:58,878 --> 00:22:59,688
TWEETER AND WOOFER IN EACH CUP,
COUPLED BY A FULL CROSSOVER
NETWORK.
527
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:01,189
COUPLED BY A FULL CROSSOVER
NETWORK.
THE RESULT IS A POWERFUL BASS
528
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:02,758
NETWORK.
THE RESULT IS A POWERFUL BASS
RESPONSE, RICHNESS IN TONE, AND
529
00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:04,360
THE RESULT IS A POWERFUL BASS
RESPONSE, RICHNESS IN TONE, AND
THE SOUND STILL HOLDS TOGETHER.
530
00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:06,328
RESPONSE, RICHNESS IN TONE, AND
THE SOUND STILL HOLDS TOGETHER.
NOW, COULD YOU LEAVE US, JIMMY?
531
00:23:06,352 --> 00:23:07,229
THE SOUND STILL HOLDS TOGETHER.
NOW, COULD YOU LEAVE US, JIMMY?
I AM BUSY.
532
00:23:07,253 --> 00:23:08,330
NOW, COULD YOU LEAVE US, JIMMY?
I AM BUSY.
OKAY, THANKS, HEF.
533
00:23:08,354 --> 00:23:10,198
I AM BUSY.
OKAY, THANKS, HEF.
THANKS A LOT.
534
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:11,533
OKAY, THANKS, HEF.
THANKS A LOT.
OH, THERE'S ONE MORE THING.
535
00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:12,601
THANKS A LOT.
OH, THERE'S ONE MORE THING.
WHAT IS IT?
536
00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:13,935
OH, THERE'S ONE MORE THING.
WHAT IS IT?
THE SECRET SERVICE MEN AND I
537
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,504
WHAT IS IT?
THE SECRET SERVICE MEN AND I
WOULD LIKE TO USE THE JACUZZI.
538
00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:16,538
THE SECRET SERVICE MEN AND I
WOULD LIKE TO USE THE JACUZZI.
GO AHEAD.
539
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:17,038
WOULD LIKE TO USE THE JACUZZI.
GO AHEAD.
ANYTHING.
540
00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:18,073
GO AHEAD.
ANYTHING.
OKAY, THANK YOU.
541
00:23:18,097 --> 00:23:18,907
ANYTHING.
OKAY, THANK YOU.
BYE-BYE, MA'AM.
542
00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:20,743
OKAY, THANK YOU.
BYE-BYE, MA'AM.
NICE MEETING YOU.
543
00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:22,711
BYE-BYE, MA'AM.
NICE MEETING YOU.
LET'S GET BACK TO BASIC
544
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:24,815
NICE MEETING YOU.
LET'S GET BACK TO BASIC
GEOMETRY.
545
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:37,192
Announcer: AND NOW IT'S TIME
FOR "LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC,"
THE PROGRAM DEDICATED TO MUSIC
546
00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:39,160
FOR "LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC,"
THE PROGRAM DEDICATED TO MUSIC
APPRECIATION, WITH YOUR HOST,
547
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:41,830
THE PROGRAM DEDICATED TO MUSIC
APPRECIATION, WITH YOUR HOST,
JOHN BELUSHI.
548
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:43,231
APPRECIATION, WITH YOUR HOST,
JOHN BELUSHI.
GOOD EVENING, MUSIC
549
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:43,999
JOHN BELUSHI.
GOOD EVENING, MUSIC
LISTENERS.
550
00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:46,001
GOOD EVENING, MUSIC
LISTENERS.
I'M JOHN BELUSHI, AND TONIGHT ON
551
00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:47,903
LISTENERS.
I'M JOHN BELUSHI, AND TONIGHT ON
"LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC," WE
552
00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:49,471
I'M JOHN BELUSHI, AND TONIGHT ON
"LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC," WE
ARE GOING TO HEAR A RARE
553
00:23:49,495 --> 00:23:52,274
"LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC," WE
ARE GOING TO HEAR A RARE
RECORDING OF RICHARD WAGNER'S
554
00:23:52,298 --> 00:23:54,242
ARE GOING TO HEAR A RARE
RECORDING OF RICHARD WAGNER'S
"RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES," FROM
555
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:55,977
RECORDING OF RICHARD WAGNER'S
"RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES," FROM
"DIE VALKYRIE," ONE OF MY
556
00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:56,645
"RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES," FROM
"DIE VALKYRIE," ONE OF MY
FAVORITES.
557
00:23:56,669 --> 00:23:58,547
"DIE VALKYRIE," ONE OF MY
FAVORITES.
WRITTEN IN 1855, ITS FAMILIAR
558
00:23:58,571 --> 00:24:00,348
FAVORITES.
WRITTEN IN 1855, ITS FAMILIAR
THEME IS CHARGED WITH FIERY
559
00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:02,217
WRITTEN IN 1855, ITS FAMILIAR
THEME IS CHARGED WITH FIERY
PASSION AND TEXTURED WITH THE
560
00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:04,185
THEME IS CHARGED WITH FIERY
PASSION AND TEXTURED WITH THE
FULL ORCHESTRA, COMPLETING THE
561
00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:06,087
PASSION AND TEXTURED WITH THE
FULL ORCHESTRA, COMPLETING THE
ORIGINAL MELODY IN A POWERFUL
562
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:07,923
FULL ORCHESTRA, COMPLETING THE
ORIGINAL MELODY IN A POWERFUL
AND FORCEFUL BRILLIANCE.
563
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,525
ORIGINAL MELODY IN A POWERFUL
AND FORCEFUL BRILLIANCE.
[BLOWING]
564
00:24:09,549 --> 00:24:11,627
AND FORCEFUL BRILLIANCE.
[BLOWING]
WAGNER OFTEN WRITES MUSIC WHICH
565
00:24:11,651 --> 00:24:13,328
[BLOWING]
WAGNER OFTEN WRITES MUSIC WHICH
SEEMS TO EVOKE A SORT OF
566
00:24:13,352 --> 00:24:16,264
WAGNER OFTEN WRITES MUSIC WHICH
SEEMS TO EVOKE A SORT OF
SUGGESTIVENESS OF PLACE, OF
567
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:17,299
SEEMS TO EVOKE A SORT OF
SUGGESTIVENESS OF PLACE, OF
THINGS.
568
00:24:17,323 --> 00:24:21,136
SUGGESTIVENESS OF PLACE, OF
THINGS.
SO, AS I PLAY THE RECORD...
569
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,104
THINGS.
SO, AS I PLAY THE RECORD...
YOU TRY TO IMAGINE FOR YOURSELF
570
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:26,241
SO, AS I PLAY THE RECORD...
YOU TRY TO IMAGINE FOR YOURSELF
THE IMAGES WHICH APPEAR BEFORE
571
00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:28,577
YOU TRY TO IMAGINE FOR YOURSELF
THE IMAGES WHICH APPEAR BEFORE
YOUR BRAIN FROM THE MUSIC.
572
00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:29,878
THE IMAGES WHICH APPEAR BEFORE
YOUR BRAIN FROM THE MUSIC.
OKAY?
573
00:24:29,902 --> 00:24:33,181
YOUR BRAIN FROM THE MUSIC.
OKAY?
JUST IMAGINE.
574
00:24:33,205 --> 00:24:39,321
OKAY?
JUST IMAGINE.
LISTEN.
575
00:24:39,345 --> 00:24:40,856
JUST IMAGINE.
LISTEN.
["THE RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES"
576
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:47,796
LISTEN.
["THE RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES"
PLAYS]
577
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:48,931
["THE RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES"
PLAYS]
HORSES.
578
00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:49,631
[PLAYS]
HORSES.
OH.
579
00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:53,034
HORSES.
OH.
HORSES.
580
00:24:53,058 --> 00:24:53,702
OH.
HORSES.
WAVES.
581
00:24:53,726 --> 00:24:56,071
HORSES.
WAVES.
OH, WAVES.
582
00:24:56,095 --> 00:24:58,039
WAVES.
OH, WAVES.
A LOT OF PEOPLE!
583
00:24:58,063 --> 00:24:59,708
OH, WAVES.
A LOT OF PEOPLE!
MOUNTAINS!
584
00:24:59,732 --> 00:25:00,709
A LOT OF PEOPLE!
MOUNTAINS!
SNOW!
585
00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:02,511
MOUNTAINS!
SNOW!
LANDSCAPES.
586
00:25:02,535 --> 00:25:03,912
SNOW!
LANDSCAPES.
FORESTS.
587
00:25:03,936 --> 00:25:05,347
LANDSCAPES.
FORESTS.
THE SKY!
588
00:25:05,371 --> 00:25:07,015
FORESTS.
THE SKY!
A FIELD AND A SMALL POND!
589
00:25:07,039 --> 00:25:08,884
THE SKY!
A FIELD AND A SMALL POND!
A BIG SHOW WITH A LOT OF HORSES!
590
00:25:08,908 --> 00:25:09,952
A FIELD AND A SMALL POND!
A BIG SHOW WITH A LOT OF HORSES!
A LOT OF PEOPLE GOING TO THE
591
00:25:09,976 --> 00:25:10,452
A BIG SHOW WITH A LOT OF HORSES!
A LOT OF PEOPLE GOING TO THE
SHOW.
592
00:25:10,476 --> 00:25:11,587
A LOT OF PEOPLE GOING TO THE
SHOW.
SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN...
593
00:25:11,611 --> 00:25:12,688
SHOW.
SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN...
SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN FREE.
594
00:25:12,712 --> 00:25:13,455
SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN...
SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN FREE.
AH, BUT THEY CAN'T!
595
00:25:13,479 --> 00:25:14,490
SOME ARE TRYING TO GET IN FREE.
AH, BUT THEY CAN'T!
SOME OF THE PEOPLE CAN GET IN
596
00:25:14,514 --> 00:25:15,457
AH, BUT THEY CAN'T!
SOME OF THE PEOPLE CAN GET IN
FREE BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE
597
00:25:15,481 --> 00:25:16,492
SOME OF THE PEOPLE CAN GET IN
FREE BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE
PEOPLE THAT ARE IN THE SHOW.
598
00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:17,559
FREE BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE
PEOPLE THAT ARE IN THE SHOW.
WELL, THEY'RE ALL WATCHING THE
599
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:18,627
PEOPLE THAT ARE IN THE SHOW.
WELL, THEY'RE ALL WATCHING THE
BIG SHOW AND THERE ARE A LOT OF
600
00:25:18,651 --> 00:25:19,060
WELL, THEY'RE ALL WATCHING THE
BIG SHOW AND THERE ARE A LOT OF
PEOPLE.
601
00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:20,161
BIG SHOW AND THERE ARE A LOT OF
PEOPLE.
EVERYBODY'S HAVING A GOOD TIME,
602
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:21,530
PEOPLE.
EVERYBODY'S HAVING A GOOD TIME,
AND THEN... AND THEN THERE'S...
603
00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:24,065
EVERYBODY'S HAVING A GOOD TIME,
AND THEN... AND THEN THERE'S...
[RECORD SCRATCHING]
604
00:25:24,089 --> 00:25:25,200
AND THEN... AND THEN THERE'S...
[RECORD SCRATCHING]
AH, RAINBOWS!
605
00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:26,334
[RECORD SCRATCHING]
AH, RAINBOWS!
AHH.
606
00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:27,703
AH, RAINBOWS!
AHH.
RAINBOWS, WATERFALLS.
607
00:25:27,727 --> 00:25:28,770
AHH.
RAINBOWS, WATERFALLS.
OOH, THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHO
608
00:25:28,794 --> 00:25:29,671
RAINBOWS, WATERFALLS.
OOH, THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHO
MEET AND FALL IN LOVE.
609
00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:30,706
OOH, THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHO
MEET AND FALL IN LOVE.
AND IMMEDIATELY THEY FLY TO
610
00:25:30,730 --> 00:25:31,907
MEET AND FALL IN LOVE.
AND IMMEDIATELY THEY FLY TO
HAWAII.
611
00:25:31,931 --> 00:25:33,208
AND IMMEDIATELY THEY FLY TO
HAWAII.
FLYING TO HAWAII.
612
00:25:33,232 --> 00:25:34,476
HAWAII.
FLYING TO HAWAII.
OH, THEY WANT TO GET MARRIED,
613
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:36,244
FLYING TO HAWAII.
OH, THEY WANT TO GET MARRIED,
BUT... OH! THEY CAN'T!
614
00:25:36,268 --> 00:25:37,479
OH, THEY WANT TO GET MARRIED,
BUT... OH! THEY CAN'T!
THEY CAN'T BECAUSE THE FATHER
615
00:25:37,503 --> 00:25:38,847
BUT... OH! THEY CAN'T!
THEY CAN'T BECAUSE THE FATHER
DOESN'T APPROVE OF THE MARRIAGE!
616
00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:40,215
THEY CAN'T BECAUSE THE FATHER
DOESN'T APPROVE OF THE MARRIAGE!
FINALLY, THE GUY GETS THE FATHER
617
00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:41,483
DOESN'T APPROVE OF THE MARRIAGE!
FINALLY, THE GUY GETS THE FATHER
TO LET HIM MARRY HIS DAUGHTER!
618
00:25:41,507 --> 00:25:43,719
FINALLY, THE GUY GETS THE FATHER
TO LET HIM MARRY HIS DAUGHTER!
THEN SUDDENLY THERE'S A WAR!
619
00:25:43,743 --> 00:25:45,020
TO LET HIM MARRY HIS DAUGHTER!
THEN SUDDENLY THERE'S A WAR!
[RECORD SCRATCHING]
620
00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:47,122
THEN SUDDENLY THERE'S A WAR!
[RECORD SCRATCHING]
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
621
00:25:47,146 --> 00:25:48,056
[RECORD SCRATCHING]
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
AAH!
622
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:48,757
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
AAH!
THERE'S A WAR!
623
00:25:48,781 --> 00:25:50,125
AAH!
THERE'S A WAR!
EVERYBODY'S GOT TO GO TO RUSSIA
624
00:25:50,149 --> 00:25:51,059
THERE'S A WAR!
EVERYBODY'S GOT TO GO TO RUSSIA
AND FIGHT THE ENEMY!
625
00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:52,293
EVERYBODY'S GOT TO GO TO RUSSIA
AND FIGHT THE ENEMY!
AH, THERE'S ALL KINDS OF BOMBERS
626
00:25:52,317 --> 00:25:52,861
AND FIGHT THE ENEMY!
AH, THERE'S ALL KINDS OF BOMBERS
THERE!
627
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:54,930
AH, THERE'S ALL KINDS OF BOMBERS
THERE!
CKK! AAAH! AAH!
628
00:25:54,954 --> 00:25:56,832
THERE!
CKK! AAAH! AAH!
LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!
629
00:25:56,856 --> 00:25:58,199
CKK! AAAH! AAH!
LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!
JET PLANES AND ROCKETS!
630
00:25:58,223 --> 00:25:59,434
LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!
JET PLANES AND ROCKETS!
AAH!
631
00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:00,702
JET PLANES AND ROCKETS!
AAH!
LOOK OUT!
632
00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:01,469
AAH!
LOOK OUT!
[RECORD SCRATCHING]
633
00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:04,640
LOOK OUT!
[RECORD SCRATCHING]
AAH, JET PLANES, ROCKETS!
634
00:26:04,664 --> 00:26:05,941
[RECORD SCRATCHING]
AAH, JET PLANES, ROCKETS!
AND HERE, COSSACKS ARE COMING!
635
00:26:05,965 --> 00:26:07,308
AAH, JET PLANES, ROCKETS!
AND HERE, COSSACKS ARE COMING!
THE COSSACKS ARE COMING IN THE
636
00:26:07,332 --> 00:26:07,843
AND HERE, COSSACKS ARE COMING!
THE COSSACKS ARE COMING IN THE
HOUSE!
637
00:26:07,867 --> 00:26:09,244
THE COSSACKS ARE COMING IN THE
HOUSE!
LOOK OUT, THEY GOT KIRBY!
638
00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,346
HOUSE!
LOOK OUT, THEY GOT KIRBY!
THEY GOT KIRBY!
639
00:26:11,370 --> 00:26:12,480
LOOK OUT, THEY GOT KIRBY!
THEY GOT KIRBY!
MEDIC!
640
00:26:12,504 --> 00:26:12,981
THEY GOT KIRBY!
MEDIC!
MEDIC!
641
00:26:13,005 --> 00:26:13,749
MEDIC!
MEDIC!
LIEUTENANT!
642
00:26:13,773 --> 00:26:15,083
MEDIC!
LIEUTENANT!
I'LL SEE YOU IN BERLIN, YOU
643
00:26:15,107 --> 00:26:16,051
LIEUTENANT!
I'LL SEE YOU IN BERLIN, YOU
DIRTY KRAUT!
644
00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:17,553
I'LL SEE YOU IN BERLIN, YOU
DIRTY KRAUT!
YOU DIRTY KRAUT!
645
00:26:17,577 --> 00:26:19,577
DIRTY KRAUT!
YOU DIRTY KRAUT!
[INDISTINCT SCREAMING]
646
00:26:48,406 --> 00:26:51,853
Announcer: AND NOW
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH THE
"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
647
00:26:51,877 --> 00:26:53,922
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH THE
"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
HERE ARE JANE CURTIN AND
648
00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:56,058
"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
HERE ARE JANE CURTIN AND
DON AYKROYD.
649
00:26:56,082 --> 00:26:58,093
HERE ARE JANE CURTIN AND
DON AYKROYD.
THAT'S DAN AYKROYD.
650
00:26:58,117 --> 00:26:59,861
DON AYKROYD.
THAT'S DAN AYKROYD.
Announcer: WHAT WAS THAT?
651
00:26:59,885 --> 00:27:01,029
THAT'S DAN AYKROYD.
Announcer: WHAT WAS THAT?
THAT'S DAN, DON.
652
00:27:01,053 --> 00:27:02,263
Announcer: WHAT WAS THAT?
THAT'S DAN, DON.
Announcer: I'M SORRY, DAN.
653
00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:03,264
THAT'S DAN, DON.
Announcer: I'M SORRY, DAN.
IT MUST HAVE BEEN A
654
00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:04,466
Announcer: I'M SORRY, DAN.
IT MUST HAVE BEEN A
TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR ON MY
655
00:27:04,490 --> 00:27:05,000
IT MUST HAVE BEEN A
TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR ON MY
SCRIPT.
656
00:27:05,024 --> 00:27:08,503
TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR ON MY
SCRIPT.
I BEG YOUR PARDO.
657
00:27:08,527 --> 00:27:09,938
SCRIPT.
I BEG YOUR PARDO.
THAT'S "PARDON."
658
00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:11,206
I BEG YOUR PARDO.
THAT'S "PARDON."
Announcer: OH, I'M SORRY!
659
00:27:11,230 --> 00:27:12,474
THAT'S "PARDON."
Announcer: OH, I'M SORRY!
IT MUST HAVE BEEN A
660
00:27:12,498 --> 00:27:13,709
Announcer: OH, I'M SORRY!
IT MUST HAVE BEEN A
TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR.
661
00:27:13,733 --> 00:27:16,211
IT MUST HAVE BEEN A
TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR.
THANK YOU, DON PARDO.
662
00:27:16,235 --> 00:27:17,545
TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR.
THANK YOU, DON PARDO.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT,
663
00:27:17,569 --> 00:27:19,114
THANK YOU, DON PARDO.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT,
PROFESSOR JOHN VAN VLECK OF
664
00:27:19,138 --> 00:27:20,682
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT,
PROFESSOR JOHN VAN VLECK OF
HARVARD UNIVERSITY WON THE
665
00:27:20,706 --> 00:27:22,317
PROFESSOR JOHN VAN VLECK OF
HARVARD UNIVERSITY WON THE
NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS THIS
666
00:27:22,341 --> 00:27:22,985
HARVARD UNIVERSITY WON THE
NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS THIS
WEEK.
667
00:27:23,009 --> 00:27:24,319
NOBEL PRIZE FOR PHYSICS THIS
WEEK.
HE IS SHOWN HERE WITH HIS
668
00:27:24,343 --> 00:27:25,754
WEEK.
HE IS SHOWN HERE WITH HIS
INVENTION, A PARTY DOLL FOR
669
00:27:25,778 --> 00:27:27,555
HE IS SHOWN HERE WITH HIS
INVENTION, A PARTY DOLL FOR
OLDER MEN.
670
00:27:27,579 --> 00:27:31,181
INVENTION, A PARTY DOLL FOR
OLDER MEN.
CONGRATULATIONS, PROFESSOR.
671
00:27:31,449 --> 00:27:33,183
A TERRORIST GROUP CALLING
672
00:27:33,317 --> 00:27:35,285
THEMSELVES THE GAY BAKERS STRUCK
673
00:27:35,419 --> 00:27:37,220
AGAIN YESTERDAY, THIS TIME IN
674
00:27:37,355 --> 00:27:41,859
DES MOINES, IOWA.
675
00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,161
NOW WATCH THIS.
676
00:27:44,428 --> 00:27:52,347
ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS, AND...
[LAUGHTER]
NO, NO, LET HIM STAY.
677
00:27:52,371 --> 00:27:53,782
[LAUGHTER]
NO, NO, LET HIM STAY.
LET HIM STAY.
678
00:27:53,806 --> 00:27:54,883
NO, NO, LET HIM STAY.
LET HIM STAY.
WELL, AT LEAST IT'S A FRUIT
679
00:27:54,907 --> 00:27:57,485
LET HIM STAY.
WELL, AT LEAST IT'S A FRUIT
PIE.
680
00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:59,387
WELL, AT LEAST IT'S A FRUIT
PIE.
FORTUNATELY, MISS BRYANT, WHO
681
00:27:59,411 --> 00:28:01,256
PIE.
FORTUNATELY, MISS BRYANT, WHO
WAS NOT INJURED, ENJOYED A GOOD
682
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,025
FORTUNATELY, MISS BRYANT, WHO
WAS NOT INJURED, ENJOYED A GOOD
LAUGH AND SAID IT WAS OKAY IF
683
00:28:03,049 --> 00:28:07,395
WAS NOT INJURED, ENJOYED A GOOD
LAUGH AND SAID IT WAS OKAY IF
THE ASSAILANT DATED HER HUSBAND.
684
00:28:07,419 --> 00:28:09,164
LAUGH AND SAID IT WAS OKAY IF
THE ASSAILANT DATED HER HUSBAND.
THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF
685
00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:11,033
THE ASSAILANT DATED HER HUSBAND.
THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF
BROADCASTERS, BETTER KNOWN AS
686
00:28:11,057 --> 00:28:13,368
THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF
BROADCASTERS, BETTER KNOWN AS
THE N.A.B., HAS ISSUED REVISED
687
00:28:13,392 --> 00:28:15,236
BROADCASTERS, BETTER KNOWN AS
THE N.A.B., HAS ISSUED REVISED
GUIDELINES FOR LAXATIVE
688
00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:16,938
THE N.A.B., HAS ISSUED REVISED
GUIDELINES FOR LAXATIVE
COMMERCIALS ON TELEVISION,
689
00:28:16,962 --> 00:28:18,106
GUIDELINES FOR LAXATIVE
COMMERCIALS ON TELEVISION,
STATING, "GRAPHIC
690
00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:19,875
COMMERCIALS ON TELEVISION,
STATING, "GRAPHIC
REPRESENTATIONS OF SYMPTOMS
691
00:28:19,899 --> 00:28:21,710
STATING, "GRAPHIC
REPRESENTATIONS OF SYMPTOMS
AND/OR PRODUCT MECHANIC SHALL
692
00:28:21,734 --> 00:28:22,911
REPRESENTATIONS OF SYMPTOMS
AND/OR PRODUCT MECHANIC SHALL
NOT BE PERMITTED.
693
00:28:22,935 --> 00:28:25,080
AND/OR PRODUCT MECHANIC SHALL
NOT BE PERMITTED.
FOR EXAMPLE, RAIN, RIVERS,
694
00:28:25,104 --> 00:28:27,149
NOT BE PERMITTED.
FOR EXAMPLE, RAIN, RIVERS,
GELATIN, CONCRETE BLOCKS,
695
00:28:27,173 --> 00:28:28,684
FOR EXAMPLE, RAIN, RIVERS,
GELATIN, CONCRETE BLOCKS,
ET CETERA."
696
00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:30,451
GELATIN, CONCRETE BLOCKS,
ET CETERA."
THE LAXATIVE INDUSTRY'S
697
00:28:30,475 --> 00:28:32,020
ET CETERA."
THE LAXATIVE INDUSTRY'S
DELEGATION OF UNITED
698
00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:34,122
THE LAXATIVE INDUSTRY'S
DELEGATION OF UNITED
MANUFACTURERS AND PRODUCERS,
699
00:28:34,146 --> 00:28:35,957
DELEGATION OF UNITED
MANUFACTURERS AND PRODUCERS,
BETTER KNOWN AS D.U.M.P., ISSUED
700
00:28:35,981 --> 00:28:37,458
MANUFACTURERS AND PRODUCERS,
BETTER KNOWN AS D.U.M.P., ISSUED
A REPLY, SAYING, "WE HAVE
701
00:28:37,482 --> 00:28:39,061
BETTER KNOWN AS D.U.M.P., ISSUED
A REPLY, SAYING, "WE HAVE
RECEIVED THE GUIDELINES AND
702
00:28:39,085 --> 00:28:40,796
A REPLY, SAYING, "WE HAVE
RECEIVED THE GUIDELINES AND
SHALL DRAW OUR CONCLUSIONS, AS
703
00:28:40,820 --> 00:28:42,530
RECEIVED THE GUIDELINES AND
SHALL DRAW OUR CONCLUSIONS, AS
WE USUALLY DO, BY A PROCESS OF
704
00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:45,867
SHALL DRAW OUR CONCLUSIONS, AS
WE USUALLY DO, BY A PROCESS OF
ELIMINATION."
705
00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:46,735
WE USUALLY DO, BY A PROCESS OF
ELIMINATION."
DODGERS FAN
706
00:28:46,759 --> 00:28:48,236
ELIMINATION."
DODGERS FAN
MISS LILLIAN CARTER THIS WEEK
707
00:28:48,260 --> 00:28:49,838
DODGERS FAN
MISS LILLIAN CARTER THIS WEEK
TOLD THE LOS ANGELES TIMES THAT
708
00:28:49,862 --> 00:28:50,972
MISS LILLIAN CARTER THIS WEEK
TOLD THE LOS ANGELES TIMES THAT
SHE DOESN'T LIKE ABC
709
00:28:50,996 --> 00:28:52,607
TOLD THE LOS ANGELES TIMES THAT
SHE DOESN'T LIKE ABC
SPORTSCASTER HOWARD COSELL,
710
00:28:52,631 --> 00:28:54,275
SHE DOESN'T LIKE ABC
SPORTSCASTER HOWARD COSELL,
SAYING, "I DON'T WANT HIM TO
711
00:28:54,299 --> 00:28:56,111
SPORTSCASTER HOWARD COSELL,
SAYING, "I DON'T WANT HIM TO
DIE, BUT I WISH THEY'D TAKE HIM
712
00:28:56,135 --> 00:28:58,446
SAYING, "I DON'T WANT HIM TO
DIE, BUT I WISH THEY'D TAKE HIM
OFF THE AIR."
713
00:28:58,470 --> 00:28:59,781
DIE, BUT I WISH THEY'D TAKE HIM
OFF THE AIR."
COSELL, RESPONDING TO THE
714
00:28:59,805 --> 00:29:01,183
OFF THE AIR."
COSELL, RESPONDING TO THE
REMARKS OF THE 79-YEAR-OLD
715
00:29:01,207 --> 00:29:02,784
COSELL, RESPONDING TO THE
REMARKS OF THE 79-YEAR-OLD
PRESIDENTIAL MOTHER, REPORTEDLY
716
00:29:02,808 --> 00:29:04,186
REMARKS OF THE 79-YEAR-OLD
PRESIDENTIAL MOTHER, REPORTEDLY
SAID, "I HAVE NO ANIMOSITY
717
00:29:04,210 --> 00:29:06,088
PRESIDENTIAL MOTHER, REPORTEDLY
SAID, "I HAVE NO ANIMOSITY
TOWARDS MISS LILLIAN, AND I HOPE
718
00:29:06,112 --> 00:29:08,323
SAID, "I HAVE NO ANIMOSITY
TOWARDS MISS LILLIAN, AND I HOPE
SHE LIVES TO BE 80."
719
00:29:08,347 --> 00:29:09,891
TOWARDS MISS LILLIAN, AND I HOPE
SHE LIVES TO BE 80."
ON THE STUDIO FLOOR, AND
720
00:29:09,915 --> 00:29:11,659
SHE LIVES TO BE 80."
ON THE STUDIO FLOOR, AND
THIS IS THE "UPDATE" SET IN
721
00:29:11,683 --> 00:29:12,994
ON THE STUDIO FLOOR, AND
THIS IS THE "UPDATE" SET IN
STUDIO 8H, WHERE
722
00:29:13,018 --> 00:29:14,863
THIS IS THE "UPDATE" SET IN
STUDIO 8H, WHERE
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" IS
723
00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:17,232
STUDIO 8H, WHERE
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" IS
PRODUCED EVERY SATURDAY EVENING.
724
00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:18,466
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" IS
PRODUCED EVERY SATURDAY EVENING.
CHROMA-KEY AREA.
725
00:29:18,490 --> 00:29:19,701
PRODUCED EVERY SATURDAY EVENING.
CHROMA-KEY AREA.
THERE'S DAN AYKROYD AND
726
00:29:19,725 --> 00:29:20,435
CHROMA-KEY AREA.
THERE'S DAN AYKROYD AND
JANE CURTIN.
727
00:29:20,459 --> 00:29:21,469
THERE'S DAN AYKROYD AND
JANE CURTIN.
WHERE'S CHEVY?
728
00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:22,303
JANE CURTIN.
WHERE'S CHEVY?
I'M SORRY.
729
00:29:22,327 --> 00:29:23,905
WHERE'S CHEVY?
I'M SORRY.
CHEVY IS NO LONGER WITH THE
730
00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:24,505
I'M SORRY.
CHEVY IS NO LONGER WITH THE
SHOW.
731
00:29:24,529 --> 00:29:26,208
CHEVY IS NO LONGER WITH THE
SHOW.
YOU'LL COME THIS WAY, AND WE'LL
732
00:29:26,232 --> 00:29:27,876
SHOW.
YOU'LL COME THIS WAY, AND WE'LL
SEE THE RECORDING STUDIO
733
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:30,612
YOU'LL COME THIS WAY, AND WE'LL
SEE THE RECORDING STUDIO
WHERE...
734
00:29:30,636 --> 00:29:31,747
SEE THE RECORDING STUDIO
WHERE...
CONTROL... YEAH, THEY JUST
735
00:29:31,771 --> 00:29:32,781
WHERE...
CONTROL... YEAH, THEY JUST
BROUGHT A TOUR THROUGH THE
736
00:29:32,805 --> 00:29:34,349
CONTROL... YEAH, THEY JUST
BROUGHT A TOUR THROUGH THE
"UPDATE" SET.
737
00:29:34,373 --> 00:29:35,450
BROUGHT A TOUR THROUGH THE
"UPDATE" SET.
OH, THAT'S GONNA BE NORMAL
738
00:29:35,474 --> 00:29:36,017
"UPDATE" SET.
OH, THAT'S GONNA BE NORMAL
PROCEDURE?
739
00:29:36,041 --> 00:29:37,385
OH, THAT'S GONNA BE NORMAL
PROCEDURE?
OH, OKAY.
740
00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:41,322
PROCEDURE?
OH, OKAY.
I DON'T KNOW.
741
00:29:41,346 --> 00:29:42,824
OH, OKAY.
I DON'T KNOW.
[CLEARS THROAT]
742
00:29:42,848 --> 00:29:44,226
I DON'T KNOW.
[CLEARS THROAT]
WITH THE DISCOVERY OF STILL
743
00:29:44,250 --> 00:29:45,727
[CLEARS THROAT]
WITH THE DISCOVERY OF STILL
ANOTHER DIAMOND DEALER'S BODY
744
00:29:45,751 --> 00:29:47,229
WITH THE DISCOVERY OF STILL
ANOTHER DIAMOND DEALER'S BODY
THIS WEEK IN PUERTO RICO, THE
745
00:29:47,253 --> 00:29:48,663
ANOTHER DIAMOND DEALER'S BODY
THIS WEEK IN PUERTO RICO, THE
COUNT IS NOW AT AT LEAST SIX
746
00:29:48,687 --> 00:29:50,065
THIS WEEK IN PUERTO RICO, THE
COUNT IS NOW AT AT LEAST SIX
MURDERS OF DIAMOND DEALERS WITH
747
00:29:50,089 --> 00:29:51,599
COUNT IS NOW AT AT LEAST SIX
MURDERS OF DIAMOND DEALERS WITH
MORE DISCOVERIES ANTICIPATED.
748
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:53,301
MURDERS OF DIAMOND DEALERS WITH
MORE DISCOVERIES ANTICIPATED.
AUTHORITIES WITH FEW CLUES TO GO
749
00:29:53,325 --> 00:29:54,803
MORE DISCOVERIES ANTICIPATED.
AUTHORITIES WITH FEW CLUES TO GO
ON ARE NOW CONFRONTED BY THE
750
00:29:54,827 --> 00:29:56,104
AUTHORITIES WITH FEW CLUES TO GO
ON ARE NOW CONFRONTED BY THE
POSSIBILITY OF A MOTIVE.
751
00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:59,941
ON ARE NOW CONFRONTED BY THE
POSSIBILITY OF A MOTIVE.
THEY'RE CALLING IT GEMICIDE.
752
00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:01,542
POSSIBILITY OF A MOTIVE.
THEY'RE CALLING IT GEMICIDE.
THIS WEEK, THE SUPREME COURT
753
00:30:01,566 --> 00:30:03,278
THEY'RE CALLING IT GEMICIDE.
THIS WEEK, THE SUPREME COURT
UPHELD CONGRESS' BAN ON THE USE
754
00:30:03,302 --> 00:30:05,247
THIS WEEK, THE SUPREME COURT
UPHELD CONGRESS' BAN ON THE USE
OF MEDICAID MONEY FOR ABORTIONS.
755
00:30:05,271 --> 00:30:06,848
UPHELD CONGRESS' BAN ON THE USE
OF MEDICAID MONEY FOR ABORTIONS.
THE COURT RULED THAT A FETUS
756
00:30:06,872 --> 00:30:08,516
OF MEDICAID MONEY FOR ABORTIONS.
THE COURT RULED THAT A FETUS
BECOMES A HUMAN BEING AT THREE
757
00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:10,018
THE COURT RULED THAT A FETUS
BECOMES A HUMAN BEING AT THREE
MONTHS IF THE PARENTS EARN
758
00:30:10,042 --> 00:30:13,321
BECOMES A HUMAN BEING AT THREE
MONTHS IF THE PARENTS EARN
$15,000 OR MORE A YEAR AND AT
759
00:30:13,345 --> 00:30:14,956
MONTHS IF THE PARENTS EARN
$15,000 OR MORE A YEAR AND AT
ONE MONTH IF THE PARENTS EARN
760
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:19,360
$15,000 OR MORE A YEAR AND AT
ONE MONTH IF THE PARENTS EARN
LESS.
761
00:30:19,384 --> 00:30:21,897
ONE MONTH IF THE PARENTS EARN
LESS.
NADIA COMANECI, THE 15-YEAR-OLD
762
00:30:21,921 --> 00:30:24,232
LESS.
NADIA COMANECI, THE 15-YEAR-OLD
DARLING OF THE 1976 OLYMPICS,
763
00:30:24,256 --> 00:30:26,768
NADIA COMANECI, THE 15-YEAR-OLD
DARLING OF THE 1976 OLYMPICS,
HAS JUST BEGUN A 60-CITY TOUR OF
764
00:30:26,792 --> 00:30:28,336
DARLING OF THE 1976 OLYMPICS,
HAS JUST BEGUN A 60-CITY TOUR OF
THE UNITED STATES, AND, FRANKLY,
765
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:29,504
HAS JUST BEGUN A 60-CITY TOUR OF
THE UNITED STATES, AND, FRANKLY,
I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
766
00:30:29,528 --> 00:30:31,072
THE UNITED STATES, AND, FRANKLY,
I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
SHE'S LIKE POETRY IN MOTION.
767
00:30:31,096 --> 00:30:32,841
I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
SHE'S LIKE POETRY IN MOTION.
AND WE HAVE THIS FOOTAGE FOR YOU
768
00:30:32,865 --> 00:30:34,209
SHE'S LIKE POETRY IN MOTION.
AND WE HAVE THIS FOOTAGE FOR YOU
RIGHT NOW.
769
00:30:34,233 --> 00:30:36,833
AND WE HAVE THIS FOOTAGE FOR YOU
RIGHT NOW.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
770
00:30:52,516 --> 00:31:00,516
HI! I'M NADIA COMANECI!
AREN'T I CUTE?
PLEASE, COME SEE ME PERFORM ALL
771
00:31:04,163 --> 00:31:06,041
AREN'T I CUTE?
PLEASE, COME SEE ME PERFORM ALL
OVER THIS COUNTRY WHEN I COME TO
772
00:31:06,065 --> 00:31:06,975
PLEASE, COME SEE ME PERFORM ALL
OVER THIS COUNTRY WHEN I COME TO
YOUR CITY!
773
00:31:06,999 --> 00:31:09,845
OVER THIS COUNTRY WHEN I COME TO
YOUR CITY!
I'M ONLY 15 YEARS OLD NOW, BUT
774
00:31:09,869 --> 00:31:11,479
YOUR CITY!
I'M ONLY 15 YEARS OLD NOW, BUT
I HAVE TO MAKE ALL THE MONEY I
775
00:31:11,503 --> 00:31:13,481
I'M ONLY 15 YEARS OLD NOW, BUT
I HAVE TO MAKE ALL THE MONEY I
CAN BECAUSE I WON'T BE CUTE
776
00:31:13,505 --> 00:31:15,116
I HAVE TO MAKE ALL THE MONEY I
CAN BECAUSE I WON'T BE CUTE
FOREVER.
777
00:31:15,140 --> 00:31:17,219
CAN BECAUSE I WON'T BE CUTE
FOREVER.
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, I'LL GROW UP
778
00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:19,221
FOREVER.
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, I'LL GROW UP
TO BE A BIG, FAT ROMANIAN WOMAN
779
00:31:19,245 --> 00:31:21,256
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, I'LL GROW UP
TO BE A BIG, FAT ROMANIAN WOMAN
WITH FAT THIGHS AND A MUSTACHE
780
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:26,294
TO BE A BIG, FAT ROMANIAN WOMAN
WITH FAT THIGHS AND A MUSTACHE
LIKE MY MOTHER!
781
00:31:26,318 --> 00:31:29,397
WITH FAT THIGHS AND A MUSTACHE
LIKE MY MOTHER!
WE DON'T AGE SO GOOD.
782
00:31:29,421 --> 00:31:30,832
LIKE MY MOTHER!
WE DON'T AGE SO GOOD.
SO WHO'S GONNA WANT TO SEE ME
783
00:31:30,856 --> 00:31:31,466
WE DON'T AGE SO GOOD.
SO WHO'S GONNA WANT TO SEE ME
THEN?
784
00:31:31,490 --> 00:31:33,101
SO WHO'S GONNA WANT TO SEE ME
THEN?
IT'S SO HARD TO DO GYMNASTICS
785
00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:34,569
THEN?
IT'S SO HARD TO DO GYMNASTICS
WHILE YOU'RE ARGUING WITH
786
00:31:34,593 --> 00:31:35,770
IT'S SO HARD TO DO GYMNASTICS
WHILE YOU'RE ARGUING WITH
STOREKEEPERS.
787
00:31:35,794 --> 00:31:37,973
WHILE YOU'RE ARGUING WITH
STOREKEEPERS.
[CHUCKLES]
788
00:31:37,997 --> 00:31:41,076
STOREKEEPERS.
[CHUCKLES]
SO, SEE ME NOW WHILE I'M STILL
789
00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:42,310
[CHUCKLES]
SO, SEE ME NOW WHILE I'M STILL
DARLING!
790
00:31:42,334 --> 00:31:50,334
SO, SEE ME NOW WHILE I'M STILL
DARLING!
BYE!
791
00:31:51,310 --> 00:31:52,921
DARLING!
BYE!
YOU KNOW, JANE, SHE IS SO
792
00:31:52,945 --> 00:31:54,222
BYE!
YOU KNOW, JANE, SHE IS SO
CUTE, THAT GIRL.
793
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:55,790
YOU KNOW, JANE, SHE IS SO
CUTE, THAT GIRL.
SHE SURE IS.
794
00:31:55,814 --> 00:31:57,292
CUTE, THAT GIRL.
SHE SURE IS.
BUT I THOUGHT HER PARALLEL
795
00:31:57,316 --> 00:31:58,860
SHE SURE IS.
BUT I THOUGHT HER PARALLEL
BARS... THE PARALLEL BARS WERE
796
00:31:58,884 --> 00:32:00,161
BUT I THOUGHT HER PARALLEL
BARS... THE PARALLEL BARS WERE
HER FIRST LOVE.
797
00:32:00,185 --> 00:32:01,096
BARS... THE PARALLEL BARS WERE
HER FIRST LOVE.
MINE, TOO.
798
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:02,597
HER FIRST LOVE.
MINE, TOO.
A LOT OF US GIRLS WHO TOOK GYM
799
00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:03,899
MINE, TOO.
A LOT OF US GIRLS WHO TOOK GYM
CLASS LOST IT TO THE PARALLEL
800
00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:09,037
A LOT OF US GIRLS WHO TOOK GYM
CLASS LOST IT TO THE PARALLEL
BARS.
801
00:32:09,061 --> 00:32:10,772
CLASS LOST IT TO THE PARALLEL
BARS.
THE CALHOUN NATIONAL BANK IN
802
00:32:10,796 --> 00:32:12,440
BARS.
THE CALHOUN NATIONAL BANK IN
GEORGIA HAS CONSTRUCTED A NEW
803
00:32:12,464 --> 00:32:13,875
THE CALHOUN NATIONAL BANK IN
GEORGIA HAS CONSTRUCTED A NEW
OFFICE FOR RETURNING BANK
804
00:32:13,899 --> 00:32:15,610
GEORGIA HAS CONSTRUCTED A NEW
OFFICE FOR RETURNING BANK
EXECUTIVE BURT LANCE FOLLOWING
805
00:32:15,634 --> 00:32:16,945
OFFICE FOR RETURNING BANK
EXECUTIVE BURT LANCE FOLLOWING
LANCE'S REQUEST THAT HE BE
806
00:32:16,969 --> 00:32:18,479
EXECUTIVE BURT LANCE FOLLOWING
LANCE'S REQUEST THAT HE BE
ALLOWED TO START ALL OVER AGAIN
807
00:32:18,503 --> 00:32:21,883
LANCE'S REQUEST THAT HE BE
ALLOWED TO START ALL OVER AGAIN
AT THE BOTTOM.
808
00:32:21,907 --> 00:32:23,751
ALLOWED TO START ALL OVER AGAIN
AT THE BOTTOM.
WELL, THE WORLD SERIES OPENED
809
00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:25,620
AT THE BOTTOM.
WELL, THE WORLD SERIES OPENED
THIS WEEK, AND AFTER FOUR GAMES,
810
00:32:25,644 --> 00:32:27,255
WELL, THE WORLD SERIES OPENED
THIS WEEK, AND AFTER FOUR GAMES,
THE YANKS ARE LEADING THREE
811
00:32:27,279 --> 00:32:28,823
THIS WEEK, AND AFTER FOUR GAMES,
THE YANKS ARE LEADING THREE
GAMES TO ONE.
812
00:32:28,847 --> 00:32:34,963
THE YANKS ARE LEADING THREE
GAMES TO ONE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
813
00:32:34,987 --> 00:32:36,697
GAMES TO ONE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
TOMORROW THEY'LL PLAY THE FIFTH
814
00:32:36,721 --> 00:32:38,233
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
TOMORROW THEY'LL PLAY THE FIFTH
GAME AT DODGER STADIUM WITH
815
00:32:38,257 --> 00:32:39,634
TOMORROW THEY'LL PLAY THE FIFTH
GAME AT DODGER STADIUM WITH
ETHEL MERMAN SINGING THE
816
00:32:39,658 --> 00:32:41,869
GAME AT DODGER STADIUM WITH
ETHEL MERMAN SINGING THE
NATIONAL ANTHEM BEFORE THE GAME.
817
00:32:41,893 --> 00:32:43,338
ETHEL MERMAN SINGING THE
NATIONAL ANTHEM BEFORE THE GAME.
THE YANKS HAVE SURPRISED A LOT
818
00:32:43,362 --> 00:32:44,839
NATIONAL ANTHEM BEFORE THE GAME.
THE YANKS HAVE SURPRISED A LOT
OF SKEPTICS WITH THEIR PITCHING
819
00:32:44,863 --> 00:32:46,274
THE YANKS HAVE SURPRISED A LOT
OF SKEPTICS WITH THEIR PITCHING
DESPITE THE FACT THAT MOST OF
820
00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:47,608
OF SKEPTICS WITH THEIR PITCHING
DESPITE THE FACT THAT MOST OF
THEIR PITCHERS ARE INJURED.
821
00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:49,110
DESPITE THE FACT THAT MOST OF
THEIR PITCHERS ARE INJURED.
BUT AS INSURANCE IN THE EVENT
822
00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:50,678
THEIR PITCHERS ARE INJURED.
BUT AS INSURANCE IN THE EVENT
THAT THE SERIES DOES GO A FULL
823
00:32:50,702 --> 00:32:52,113
BUT AS INSURANCE IN THE EVENT
THAT THE SERIES DOES GO A FULL
SEVEN GAMES, THE YANKS HAVE
824
00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:53,714
THAT THE SERIES DOES GO A FULL
SEVEN GAMES, THE YANKS HAVE
ANNOUNCED THE SIGNING OF FORMER
825
00:32:53,738 --> 00:32:56,818
SEVEN GAMES, THE YANKS HAVE
ANNOUNCED THE SIGNING OF FORMER
ST. LOUIS CARDINAL DIZZY DEAN.
826
00:32:56,842 --> 00:32:58,320
ANNOUNCED THE SIGNING OF FORMER
ST. LOUIS CARDINAL DIZZY DEAN.
DESPITE THE FACT THAT DEAN HAS
827
00:32:58,344 --> 00:32:59,620
ST. LOUIS CARDINAL DIZZY DEAN.
DESPITE THE FACT THAT DEAN HAS
BEEN DEAD FOR THE PAST TWO
828
00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:00,956
DESPITE THE FACT THAT DEAN HAS
BEEN DEAD FOR THE PAST TWO
YEARS, THE YANKEE BRASS IS
829
00:33:00,980 --> 00:33:02,490
BEEN DEAD FOR THE PAST TWO
YEARS, THE YANKEE BRASS IS
CONFIDENT THAT HE'LL STILL FARE
830
00:33:02,514 --> 00:33:06,227
YEARS, THE YANKEE BRASS IS
CONFIDENT THAT HE'LL STILL FARE
BETTER THAN CATFISH HUNTER.
831
00:33:06,251 --> 00:33:07,662
CONFIDENT THAT HE'LL STILL FARE
BETTER THAN CATFISH HUNTER.
I'M SURE DIZZY WILL BOUNCE
832
00:33:07,686 --> 00:33:08,430
BETTER THAN CATFISH HUNTER.
I'M SURE DIZZY WILL BOUNCE
BACK THERE.
833
00:33:08,454 --> 00:33:09,897
I'M SURE DIZZY WILL BOUNCE
BACK THERE.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
834
00:33:09,921 --> 00:33:11,632
BACK THERE.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
WE HAVE A BULLETIN COMING IN ON
835
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:13,101
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
WE HAVE A BULLETIN COMING IN ON
THE NBC DANCING "N."
836
00:33:13,125 --> 00:33:14,569
WE HAVE A BULLETIN COMING IN ON
THE NBC DANCING "N."
THIS IS THE NBC NEWS UPDATE
837
00:33:14,593 --> 00:33:15,337
THE NBC DANCING "N."
THIS IS THE NBC NEWS UPDATE
DANCING "N."
838
00:33:15,361 --> 00:33:17,472
THIS IS THE NBC NEWS UPDATE
DANCING "N."
IF I CAN...
839
00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:20,608
DANCING "N."
IF I CAN...
JUST...
840
00:33:20,632 --> 00:33:25,680
IF I CAN...
JUST...
[APPLAUSE]
841
00:33:25,704 --> 00:33:26,881
JUST...
[APPLAUSE]
THIS JUST IN FROM YOUR
842
00:33:26,905 --> 00:33:27,915
[APPLAUSE]
THIS JUST IN FROM YOUR
NATIONAL DRUG ABUSE
843
00:33:27,939 --> 00:33:29,317
THIS JUST IN FROM YOUR
NATIONAL DRUG ABUSE
ASSOCIATION... "COCAINE AND
844
00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:30,585
NATIONAL DRUG ABUSE
ASSOCIATION... "COCAINE AND
HEROIN DO NOT MIX.
845
00:33:30,609 --> 00:33:38,126
ASSOCIATION... "COCAINE AND
HEROIN DO NOT MIX.
IF YOU MUST SNORT, DON'T SHOOT."
846
00:33:38,150 --> 00:33:39,861
HEROIN DO NOT MIX.
IF YOU MUST SNORT, DON'T SHOOT."
WELL, TONIGHT, WE'RE PROUD TO
847
00:33:39,885 --> 00:33:41,529
IF YOU MUST SNORT, DON'T SHOOT."
WELL, TONIGHT, WE'RE PROUD TO
ANNOUNCE THAT TONIGHT'S SHOW IS
848
00:33:41,553 --> 00:33:43,198
WELL, TONIGHT, WE'RE PROUD TO
ANNOUNCE THAT TONIGHT'S SHOW IS
THE FIRST "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"
849
00:33:43,222 --> 00:33:44,866
ANNOUNCE THAT TONIGHT'S SHOW IS
THE FIRST "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"
TO BE BROADCAST OVERSEAS TO THE
850
00:33:44,890 --> 00:33:46,701
THE FIRST "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"
TO BE BROADCAST OVERSEAS TO THE
ARMED FORCES NETWORK, AND WE'D
851
00:33:46,725 --> 00:33:48,503
TO BE BROADCAST OVERSEAS TO THE
ARMED FORCES NETWORK, AND WE'D
LIKE TO WELCOME SOME 1 MILLION
852
00:33:48,527 --> 00:33:50,138
ARMED FORCES NETWORK, AND WE'D
LIKE TO WELCOME SOME 1 MILLION
MILITARY PERSONNEL WHO ARE
853
00:33:50,162 --> 00:33:51,906
LIKE TO WELCOME SOME 1 MILLION
MILITARY PERSONNEL WHO ARE
WATCHING "WEEKEND UPDATE" FOR
854
00:33:51,930 --> 00:33:53,741
MILITARY PERSONNEL WHO ARE
WATCHING "WEEKEND UPDATE" FOR
THE FIRST TIME.
855
00:33:53,765 --> 00:33:57,045
WATCHING "WEEKEND UPDATE" FOR
THE FIRST TIME.
UH...
856
00:33:57,069 --> 00:33:59,180
THE FIRST TIME.
UH...
THIS JUST IN... WE'RE AT WAR.
857
00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:00,548
UH...
THIS JUST IN... WE'RE AT WAR.
ARMY PERSONNEL, TURN OFF YOUR
858
00:34:00,572 --> 00:34:02,050
THIS JUST IN... WE'RE AT WAR.
ARMY PERSONNEL, TURN OFF YOUR
SETS AND DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED
859
00:34:02,074 --> 00:34:02,917
ARMY PERSONNEL, TURN OFF YOUR
SETS AND DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO DO.
860
00:34:02,941 --> 00:34:03,985
SETS AND DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO DO.
JUST KIDDING!
861
00:34:04,009 --> 00:34:05,887
TO DO.
JUST KIDDING!
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT
862
00:34:05,911 --> 00:34:09,391
JUST KIDDING!
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.
863
00:34:09,415 --> 00:34:10,591
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.
Announcer: "WEEKEND UPDATE"
864
00:34:10,615 --> 00:34:11,692
TOMORROW.
Announcer: "WEEKEND UPDATE"
IS A PRESENTATION OF
865
00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:13,061
Announcer: "WEEKEND UPDATE"
IS A PRESENTATION OF
"SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS," KEEPING
866
00:34:13,085 --> 00:34:14,862
IS A PRESENTATION OF
"SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS," KEEPING
AMERICA INFORMED FOR OVER A
867
00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:18,046
"SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS," KEEPING
AMERICA INFORMED FOR OVER A
FIFTIETH OF A CENTURY.
868
00:34:21,526 --> 00:34:26,574
Announcer: WELCOME TO
"THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA,"
AND HERE'S YOUR HOST, NOTED SEX
869
00:34:26,598 --> 00:34:30,345
"THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA,"
AND HERE'S YOUR HOST, NOTED SEX
AUTHORITY HUGH HEFNER.
870
00:34:30,369 --> 00:34:31,846
AND HERE'S YOUR HOST, NOTED SEX
AUTHORITY HUGH HEFNER.
OH, HELLO.
871
00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:33,381
AUTHORITY HUGH HEFNER.
OH, HELLO.
I'M NOTED SEX AUTHORITY
872
00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:34,582
OH, HELLO.
I'M NOTED SEX AUTHORITY
HUGH HEFNER.
873
00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:36,584
I'M NOTED SEX AUTHORITY
HUGH HEFNER.
WELCOME TO "THE HISTORY OF SEX
874
00:34:36,608 --> 00:34:37,919
HUGH HEFNER.
WELCOME TO "THE HISTORY OF SEX
IN CINEMA."
875
00:34:37,943 --> 00:34:38,920
WELCOME TO "THE HISTORY OF SEX
IN CINEMA."
AS YOU KNOW, ON
876
00:34:38,944 --> 00:34:40,422
IN CINEMA."
AS YOU KNOW, ON
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," ONE CAN
877
00:34:40,446 --> 00:34:41,889
AS YOU KNOW, ON
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," ONE CAN
SAY ANYTHING ONE LIKES.
878
00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:45,126
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," ONE CAN
SAY ANYTHING ONE LIKES.
FOR EXAMPLE, THE WORD "PENIS."
879
00:34:45,150 --> 00:34:46,961
SAY ANYTHING ONE LIKES.
FOR EXAMPLE, THE WORD "PENIS."
HOWEVER, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN
880
00:34:46,985 --> 00:34:48,596
FOR EXAMPLE, THE WORD "PENIS."
HOWEVER, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN
AMERICAN ENTERTAINMENT WAS
881
00:34:48,620 --> 00:34:50,065
HOWEVER, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN
AMERICAN ENTERTAINMENT WAS
CENSORED BY PURITANICAL
882
00:34:50,089 --> 00:34:50,965
AMERICAN ENTERTAINMENT WAS
CENSORED BY PURITANICAL
MORALITY.
883
00:34:50,989 --> 00:34:52,767
CENSORED BY PURITANICAL
MORALITY.
IN THE 1930s AND '40s, THE HAYS
884
00:34:52,791 --> 00:34:54,436
MORALITY.
IN THE 1930s AND '40s, THE HAYS
OFFICE PLACED RESTRICTIONS ON
885
00:34:54,460 --> 00:34:56,404
IN THE 1930s AND '40s, THE HAYS
OFFICE PLACED RESTRICTIONS ON
MOTION PICTURES WITH A STRICT
886
00:34:56,428 --> 00:34:58,039
OFFICE PLACED RESTRICTIONS ON
MOTION PICTURES WITH A STRICT
CODE OF STANDARDS.
887
00:34:58,063 --> 00:34:59,474
MOTION PICTURES WITH A STRICT
CODE OF STANDARDS.
NOW, ONE RULE OF THE HAYS CODE
888
00:34:59,498 --> 00:35:00,975
CODE OF STANDARDS.
NOW, ONE RULE OF THE HAYS CODE
STATED THAT IF A MAN AND A WOMAN
889
00:35:00,999 --> 00:35:02,944
NOW, ONE RULE OF THE HAYS CODE
STATED THAT IF A MAN AND A WOMAN
APPEARED ON A BED TOGETHER, AT
890
00:35:02,968 --> 00:35:04,645
STATED THAT IF A MAN AND A WOMAN
APPEARED ON A BED TOGETHER, AT
LEAST ONE OF THEIR FOUR FEET
891
00:35:04,669 --> 00:35:06,881
APPEARED ON A BED TOGETHER, AT
LEAST ONE OF THEIR FOUR FEET
MUST REMAIN ON THE FLOOR.
892
00:35:06,905 --> 00:35:08,383
LEAST ONE OF THEIR FOUR FEET
MUST REMAIN ON THE FLOOR.
TONIGHT, WE PRESENT THE FINAL
893
00:35:08,407 --> 00:35:09,517
MUST REMAIN ON THE FLOOR.
TONIGHT, WE PRESENT THE FINAL
SCENE FROM
894
00:35:09,541 --> 00:35:11,152
TONIGHT, WE PRESENT THE FINAL
SCENE FROM
"THE FIRST MRS. KIMBLE," A
895
00:35:11,176 --> 00:35:12,954
SCENE FROM
"THE FIRST MRS. KIMBLE," A
SCREWBALL COMEDY STARRING THE
896
00:35:12,978 --> 00:35:14,722
"THE FIRST MRS. KIMBLE," A
SCREWBALL COMEDY STARRING THE
DASHING YOUNG CARY GRANT AND
897
00:35:14,746 --> 00:35:16,524
SCREWBALL COMEDY STARRING THE
DASHING YOUNG CARY GRANT AND
IRREPRESSIBLE KATHERINE HEPBURN.
898
00:35:16,548 --> 00:35:18,025
DASHING YOUNG CARY GRANT AND
IRREPRESSIBLE KATHERINE HEPBURN.
NOW, EVEN THOUGH THE SCENE
899
00:35:18,049 --> 00:35:19,694
IRREPRESSIBLE KATHERINE HEPBURN.
NOW, EVEN THOUGH THE SCENE
TECHNICALLY STAYED WITHIN THE
900
00:35:19,718 --> 00:35:21,429
NOW, EVEN THOUGH THE SCENE
TECHNICALLY STAYED WITHIN THE
LETTER OF THIS "ONE FOOT ON THE
901
00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:23,565
TECHNICALLY STAYED WITHIN THE
LETTER OF THIS "ONE FOOT ON THE
FLOOR" RULE, IT NEVERTHELESS
902
00:35:23,589 --> 00:35:25,533
LETTER OF THIS "ONE FOOT ON THE
FLOOR" RULE, IT NEVERTHELESS
VIOLATED THE RULE'S INTENT AND
903
00:35:25,557 --> 00:35:27,535
FLOOR" RULE, IT NEVERTHELESS
VIOLATED THE RULE'S INTENT AND
WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE SEEN IN
904
00:35:27,559 --> 00:35:28,769
VIOLATED THE RULE'S INTENT AND
WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE SEEN IN
AMERICA.
905
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:31,273
WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE SEEN IN
AMERICA.
THAT IS, UNTIL TONIGHT.
906
00:35:38,469 --> 00:35:43,218
BUT, JUDY, I CAN'T GO TO THE
LAWYER'S OFFICE IN THIS!
I LOOK RIDICULOUS!
907
00:35:43,242 --> 00:35:45,786
LAWYER'S OFFICE IN THIS!
I LOOK RIDICULOUS!
I THINK YOU LOOK RATHER CUTE.
908
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:47,755
I LOOK RIDICULOUS!
I THINK YOU LOOK RATHER CUTE.
WELL, GO BACK TO THE LAUNDRY
909
00:35:47,779 --> 00:35:49,591
I THINK YOU LOOK RATHER CUTE.
WELL, GO BACK TO THE LAUNDRY
AND TELL THEM I NEED MY SUIT.
910
00:35:49,615 --> 00:35:51,226
WELL, GO BACK TO THE LAUNDRY
AND TELL THEM I NEED MY SUIT.
YOU CAN'T BOSS ME AROUND.
911
00:35:51,250 --> 00:35:53,261
AND TELL THEM I NEED MY SUIT.
YOU CAN'T BOSS ME AROUND.
I'M NOT YOUR WIFE ANYMORE.
912
00:35:53,285 --> 00:35:54,762
YOU CAN'T BOSS ME AROUND.
I'M NOT YOUR WIFE ANYMORE.
WELL, YOU ARE UNTIL YOU SIGN
913
00:35:54,786 --> 00:35:55,497
I'M NOT YOUR WIFE ANYMORE.
WELL, YOU ARE UNTIL YOU SIGN
THOSE PAPERS.
914
00:35:55,521 --> 00:35:57,031
WELL, YOU ARE UNTIL YOU SIGN
THOSE PAPERS.
NOW GO GET ME MY SUIT.
915
00:35:57,055 --> 00:35:59,066
THOSE PAPERS.
NOW GO GET ME MY SUIT.
AH, AH, AH.
916
00:35:59,090 --> 00:36:00,034
NOW GO GET ME MY SUIT.
AH, AH, AH.
ALL RIGHT!
917
00:36:00,058 --> 00:36:02,370
AH, AH, AH.
ALL RIGHT!
I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN!
918
00:36:02,394 --> 00:36:04,172
ALL RIGHT!
I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN!
IS THAT ALL RIGHT?
919
00:36:04,196 --> 00:36:05,840
I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN!
IS THAT ALL RIGHT?
YOU'RE SUCH A LITTLE BOY,
920
00:36:05,864 --> 00:36:07,074
IS THAT ALL RIGHT?
YOU'RE SUCH A LITTLE BOY,
GEORGE KIMBLE.
921
00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:10,745
YOU'RE SUCH A LITTLE BOY,
GEORGE KIMBLE.
I LOVE YOU.
922
00:36:10,769 --> 00:36:12,514
GEORGE KIMBLE.
I LOVE YOU.
YES, I NOTICED IT WAS GETTING
923
00:36:12,538 --> 00:36:14,815
I LOVE YOU.
YES, I NOTICED IT WAS GETTING
A LITTLE WARMER IN HERE.
924
00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:16,817
YES, I NOTICED IT WAS GETTING
A LITTLE WARMER IN HERE.
OH, JUDY, JUDY...
925
00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:18,520
A LITTLE WARMER IN HERE.
OH, JUDY, JUDY...
WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS, ANYWAY,
926
00:36:18,544 --> 00:36:19,454
OH, JUDY, JUDY...
WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS, ANYWAY,
THIS DIVORCE?
927
00:36:19,478 --> 00:36:20,555
WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS, ANYWAY,
THIS DIVORCE?
IT'S SUCH A STUPID THING.
928
00:36:20,579 --> 00:36:21,722
THIS DIVORCE?
IT'S SUCH A STUPID THING.
WHOSE IDEA WAS IT IN THE FIRST
929
00:36:21,746 --> 00:36:22,123
IT'S SUCH A STUPID THING.
WHOSE IDEA WAS IT IN THE FIRST
PLACE?
930
00:36:22,147 --> 00:36:23,658
WHOSE IDEA WAS IT IN THE FIRST
PLACE?
I THINK IT WAS YOURS,
931
00:36:23,682 --> 00:36:24,959
PLACE?
I THINK IT WAS YOURS,
GEORGE KIMBLE.
932
00:36:24,983 --> 00:36:26,361
I THINK IT WAS YOURS,
GEORGE KIMBLE.
WELL, LET'S JUST PRETEND I
933
00:36:26,385 --> 00:36:28,429
GEORGE KIMBLE.
WELL, LET'S JUST PRETEND I
NEVER THOUGHT OF SUCH A THING...
934
00:36:28,453 --> 00:36:30,265
WELL, LET'S JUST PRETEND I
NEVER THOUGHT OF SUCH A THING...
MRS. KIMBLE.
935
00:36:30,289 --> 00:36:31,999
NEVER THOUGHT OF SUCH A THING...
MRS. KIMBLE.
[GASPS]
936
00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:33,868
MRS. KIMBLE.
[GASPS]
OH, GEORGE.
937
00:36:33,892 --> 00:36:34,669
[GASPS]
OH, GEORGE.
JUDY.
938
00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:35,803
OH, GEORGE.
JUDY.
OH, GEORGE.
939
00:36:35,827 --> 00:36:37,305
JUDY.
OH, GEORGE.
OH, JUDY, JUDY.
940
00:36:37,329 --> 00:36:38,306
OH, GEORGE.
OH, JUDY, JUDY.
OH, GEORGE!
941
00:36:38,330 --> 00:36:39,073
OH, JUDY, JUDY.
OH, GEORGE!
JUDY.
942
00:36:39,097 --> 00:36:40,441
OH, GEORGE!
JUDY.
GEORGE.
943
00:36:40,465 --> 00:36:41,576
JUDY.
GEORGE.
OH, GEORGE!
944
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:42,477
GEORGE.
OH, GEORGE!
JUDY!
945
00:36:42,501 --> 00:36:43,178
OH, GEORGE!
JUDY!
GEORGE!
946
00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:43,878
JUDY!
GEORGE!
JUDY!
947
00:36:43,902 --> 00:36:44,712
GEORGE!
JUDY!
GEORGE!
948
00:36:44,736 --> 00:36:45,880
JUDY!
GEORGE!
JUDY!
949
00:36:45,904 --> 00:36:48,916
GEORGE!
JUDY!
JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU!
950
00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:51,852
JUDY!
JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU!
JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JUDY!
951
00:36:51,876 --> 00:36:56,191
JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU!
JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JUDY!
JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY!
952
00:36:56,215 --> 00:36:58,626
JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JU-JUDY!
JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY!
JUDY! JUDY!
953
00:36:58,650 --> 00:37:00,584
JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY! JUDY!
JUDY! JUDY!
JUDY...
954
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:14,609
WELL, MAYBE SOME THINGS
SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO BE SEEN.
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN
955
00:37:14,633 --> 00:37:16,244
SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO BE SEEN.
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN
"THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA"
956
00:37:16,268 --> 00:37:17,812
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN
"THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA"
BRINGS YOU THE OUTTAKES FROM
957
00:37:17,836 --> 00:37:20,996
"THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA"
BRINGS YOU THE OUTTAKES FROM
"THE MIRACLE WORKER."
958
00:37:44,828 --> 00:37:49,143
HELLO.
WELCOME TO "3 R's," THE PROGRAM
THAT IS FUNDED BY THE NEW YORK
959
00:37:49,167 --> 00:37:51,078
WELCOME TO "3 R's," THE PROGRAM
THAT IS FUNDED BY THE NEW YORK
STATE BOARD OF REGENTS AND EVERY
960
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:52,980
THAT IS FUNDED BY THE NEW YORK
STATE BOARD OF REGENTS AND EVERY
WEEK EXAMINES ANOTHER ASPECT OF
961
00:37:53,004 --> 00:37:54,449
STATE BOARD OF REGENTS AND EVERY
WEEK EXAMINES ANOTHER ASPECT OF
OUR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.
962
00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:56,150
WEEK EXAMINES ANOTHER ASPECT OF
OUR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.
I'M JANE CURTIN, AND MY GUESTS
963
00:37:56,174 --> 00:37:57,818
OUR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.
I'M JANE CURTIN, AND MY GUESTS
TONIGHT ARE MICHAEL MYKONOS AND
964
00:37:57,842 --> 00:37:59,254
I'M JANE CURTIN, AND MY GUESTS
TONIGHT ARE MICHAEL MYKONOS AND
HIS DAUGHTER, COLLEEN.
965
00:37:59,278 --> 00:38:00,020
TONIGHT ARE MICHAEL MYKONOS AND
HIS DAUGHTER, COLLEEN.
WELCOME.
966
00:38:00,044 --> 00:38:02,357
HIS DAUGHTER, COLLEEN.
WELCOME.
[SPEAKING GREEK]
967
00:38:02,381 --> 00:38:02,890
WELCOME.
[SPEAKING GREEK]
IT'S GREEK.
968
00:38:02,914 --> 00:38:03,791
[SPEAKING GREEK]
IT'S GREEK.
VERY GOOD TO BE HERE.
969
00:38:03,815 --> 00:38:04,659
IT'S GREEK.
VERY GOOD TO BE HERE.
VERY NICE TO BE HERE.
970
00:38:04,683 --> 00:38:05,660
VERY GOOD TO BE HERE.
VERY NICE TO BE HERE.
VERY GOOD TO BE HERE.
971
00:38:05,684 --> 00:38:07,395
VERY NICE TO BE HERE.
VERY GOOD TO BE HERE.
MR. MYKONOS HAS JUST FILED A
972
00:38:07,419 --> 00:38:09,096
VERY GOOD TO BE HERE.
MR. MYKONOS HAS JUST FILED A
$10 MILLION LAWSUIT AGAINST THE
973
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:10,698
MR. MYKONOS HAS JUST FILED A
$10 MILLION LAWSUIT AGAINST THE
BOARD OF EDUCATION, CLAIMING
974
00:38:10,722 --> 00:38:12,267
$10 MILLION LAWSUIT AGAINST THE
BOARD OF EDUCATION, CLAIMING
THAT COLLEEN ATTENDED A CITY
975
00:38:12,291 --> 00:38:14,034
BOARD OF EDUCATION, CLAIMING
THAT COLLEEN ATTENDED A CITY
HIGH SCHOOL, GRADUATED, RECEIVED
976
00:38:14,058 --> 00:38:15,670
THAT COLLEEN ATTENDED A CITY
HIGH SCHOOL, GRADUATED, RECEIVED
HER DIPLOMA, BUT CANNOT ENTER
977
00:38:15,694 --> 00:38:17,372
HIGH SCHOOL, GRADUATED, RECEIVED
HER DIPLOMA, BUT CANNOT ENTER
COLLEGE BECAUSE TESTS SHOW THAT
978
00:38:17,396 --> 00:38:18,439
HER DIPLOMA, BUT CANNOT ENTER
COLLEGE BECAUSE TESTS SHOW THAT
SHE'S ILLITERATE.
979
00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:20,375
COLLEGE BECAUSE TESTS SHOW THAT
SHE'S ILLITERATE.
IS THAT RIGHT, MR. MYKONOS?
980
00:38:20,399 --> 00:38:21,542
SHE'S ILLITERATE.
IS THAT RIGHT, MR. MYKONOS?
WE ARE A SIMPLE PEOPLE, YOU
981
00:38:21,566 --> 00:38:22,209
IS THAT RIGHT, MR. MYKONOS?
WE ARE A SIMPLE PEOPLE, YOU
KNOW?
982
00:38:22,233 --> 00:38:23,911
WE ARE A SIMPLE PEOPLE, YOU
KNOW?
WE ARE 100% GREEK.
983
00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:24,912
KNOW?
WE ARE 100% GREEK.
100%.
984
00:38:24,936 --> 00:38:27,415
WE ARE 100% GREEK.
100%.
I RUN A LUNCHEONETTE CALLED
985
00:38:27,439 --> 00:38:29,216
100%.
I RUN A LUNCHEONETTE CALLED
EAT GOOD FOOD LUNCHEONETTE.
986
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:30,251
I RUN A LUNCHEONETTE CALLED
EAT GOOD FOOD LUNCHEONETTE.
WE HAVE VERY GOOD STRAWBERRY
987
00:38:30,275 --> 00:38:30,652
EAT GOOD FOOD LUNCHEONETTE.
WE HAVE VERY GOOD STRAWBERRY
PIE.
988
00:38:30,676 --> 00:38:31,719
WE HAVE VERY GOOD STRAWBERRY
PIE.
YOU EAT THERE?
989
00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:32,253
PIE.
YOU EAT THERE?
OH, NO.
990
00:38:32,277 --> 00:38:33,321
YOU EAT THERE?
OH, NO.
EH, YOU CHEAP...
991
00:38:33,345 --> 00:38:35,856
OH, NO.
EH, YOU CHEAP...
ANYWAY, YOU KNOW, MY WIFE, SHE
992
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:37,825
EH, YOU CHEAP...
ANYWAY, YOU KNOW, MY WIFE, SHE
DIED, YOU KNOW?
993
00:38:37,849 --> 00:38:39,327
ANYWAY, YOU KNOW, MY WIFE, SHE
DIED, YOU KNOW?
AND COLLEEN, I WANTED HER TO GO
994
00:38:39,351 --> 00:38:40,428
DIED, YOU KNOW?
AND COLLEEN, I WANTED HER TO GO
TO COLLEGE, YOU KNOW?
995
00:38:40,452 --> 00:38:41,596
AND COLLEEN, I WANTED HER TO GO
TO COLLEGE, YOU KNOW?
I WON'T LIVE FOREVER.
996
00:38:41,620 --> 00:38:42,697
TO COLLEGE, YOU KNOW?
I WON'T LIVE FOREVER.
MAYBE I DIE SOON.
997
00:38:42,721 --> 00:38:43,864
I WON'T LIVE FOREVER.
MAYBE I DIE SOON.
HOW SHE GONNA TAKE CARE OF
998
00:38:43,888 --> 00:38:45,433
MAYBE I DIE SOON.
HOW SHE GONNA TAKE CARE OF
HERSELF SHE CAN'T READ, HUH?
999
00:38:45,457 --> 00:38:46,567
HOW SHE GONNA TAKE CARE OF
HERSELF SHE CAN'T READ, HUH?
HOW AM I GONNA DIE IN PEACE,
1000
00:38:46,591 --> 00:38:47,134
HERSELF SHE CAN'T READ, HUH?
HOW AM I GONNA DIE IN PEACE,
HUH?
1001
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,169
HOW AM I GONNA DIE IN PEACE,
HUH?
BUT, PAPA...
1002
00:38:48,193 --> 00:38:51,105
HUH?
BUT, PAPA...
SHUT UP!
1003
00:38:51,129 --> 00:38:52,740
BUT, PAPA...
SHUT UP!
WHAT SCHOOL DID YOU GRADUATE
1004
00:38:52,764 --> 00:38:54,842
SHUT UP!
WHAT SCHOOL DID YOU GRADUATE
FROM, COLLEEN?
1005
00:38:54,866 --> 00:38:57,077
WHAT SCHOOL DID YOU GRADUATE
FROM, COLLEEN?
T.S. 187.
1006
00:38:57,101 --> 00:38:58,012
FROM, COLLEEN?
T.S. 187.
T.S.
1007
00:38:58,036 --> 00:38:59,614
T.S. 187.
T.S.
YOU SAID "T.S."!
1008
00:38:59,638 --> 00:39:01,215
T.S.
YOU SAID "T.S."!
YOU KNOW, SHE'S SO STUPID, SHE
1009
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:02,383
YOU SAID "T.S."!
YOU KNOW, SHE'S SO STUPID, SHE
DON'T DO NO LETTERS.
1010
00:39:02,407 --> 00:39:03,751
YOU KNOW, SHE'S SO STUPID, SHE
DON'T DO NO LETTERS.
WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY?
1011
00:39:03,775 --> 00:39:05,586
DON'T DO NO LETTERS.
WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY?
THIS SOUNDS SO AMAZING TO ME,
1012
00:39:05,610 --> 00:39:07,322
WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY?
THIS SOUNDS SO AMAZING TO ME,
CONSIDERING ALL THE TESTS THAT
1013
00:39:07,346 --> 00:39:08,989
THIS SOUNDS SO AMAZING TO ME,
CONSIDERING ALL THE TESTS THAT
ARE DONE IN SCHOOL, THAT THIS
1014
00:39:09,013 --> 00:39:10,825
CONSIDERING ALL THE TESTS THAT
ARE DONE IN SCHOOL, THAT THIS
CONDITION WAS NOT DETECTED UNTIL
1015
00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:12,360
ARE DONE IN SCHOOL, THAT THIS
CONDITION WAS NOT DETECTED UNTIL
NOW.
1016
00:39:12,384 --> 00:39:13,828
CONDITION WAS NOT DETECTED UNTIL
NOW.
MY DAUGHTER WROTE A BOOK ALL
1017
00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:14,362
NOW.
MY DAUGHTER WROTE A BOOK ALL
ABOUT IT.
1018
00:39:14,386 --> 00:39:15,630
MY DAUGHTER WROTE A BOOK ALL
ABOUT IT.
SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT.
1019
00:39:15,654 --> 00:39:18,165
ABOUT IT.
SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT.
IT'S CALLED "MY EXPERIENCES AS
1020
00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:19,400
SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT.
IT'S CALLED "MY EXPERIENCES AS
AN ILLITERATE."
1021
00:39:19,424 --> 00:39:21,736
IT'S CALLED "MY EXPERIENCES AS
AN ILLITERATE."
UH, WHAT'S THAT TITLE AGAIN?
1022
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,771
AN ILLITERATE."
UH, WHAT'S THAT TITLE AGAIN?
IT'S "MY EXPERIENCE"...
1023
00:39:23,795 --> 00:39:25,673
UH, WHAT'S THAT TITLE AGAIN?
IT'S "MY EXPERIENCE"...
SEE, SHE'S SO STUPID!
1024
00:39:25,697 --> 00:39:26,808
IT'S "MY EXPERIENCE"...
SEE, SHE'S SO STUPID!
AAH!
1025
00:39:26,832 --> 00:39:29,043
SEE, SHE'S SO STUPID!
AAH!
LOOK WHAT YOU WRITE HERE!
1026
00:39:29,067 --> 00:39:31,045
AAH!
LOOK WHAT YOU WRITE HERE!
WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY, EH?
1027
00:39:31,069 --> 00:39:31,779
LOOK WHAT YOU WRITE HERE!
WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY, EH?
I WANT MY MONEY.
1028
00:39:31,803 --> 00:39:32,814
WHEN DO I GET MY MONEY, EH?
I WANT MY MONEY.
THAT'S ALL I ASK FOR.
1029
00:39:32,838 --> 00:39:33,548
I WANT MY MONEY.
THAT'S ALL I ASK FOR.
I'M VERY SIMPLE.
1030
00:39:33,572 --> 00:39:34,281
THAT'S ALL I ASK FOR.
I'M VERY SIMPLE.
I WANT MY MONEY.
1031
00:39:34,305 --> 00:39:36,751
I'M VERY SIMPLE.
I WANT MY MONEY.
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY SAD.
1032
00:39:36,775 --> 00:39:38,686
I WANT MY MONEY.
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY SAD.
DID COLLEEN SUFFER ANY EMOTIONAL
1033
00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:40,421
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY SAD.
DID COLLEEN SUFFER ANY EMOTIONAL
STRAIN DUE TO HER CONDITION?
1034
00:39:40,445 --> 00:39:42,189
DID COLLEEN SUFFER ANY EMOTIONAL
STRAIN DUE TO HER CONDITION?
DID THE CHILDREN TEASE HER OR
1035
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:43,290
STRAIN DUE TO HER CONDITION?
DID THE CHILDREN TEASE HER OR
MAKE FUN OF HER?
1036
00:39:43,314 --> 00:39:44,459
DID THE CHILDREN TEASE HER OR
MAKE FUN OF HER?
SURE, ALL THE TIME.
1037
00:39:44,483 --> 00:39:45,159
MAKE FUN OF HER?
SURE, ALL THE TIME.
ALL THE TIME.
1038
00:39:45,183 --> 00:39:46,794
SURE, ALL THE TIME.
ALL THE TIME.
YEAH, SURE, THEY CALL HER NAMES,
1039
00:39:46,818 --> 00:39:48,229
ALL THE TIME.
YEAH, SURE, THEY CALL HER NAMES,
SHE STAY ALL BY HERSELF ALL
1040
00:39:48,253 --> 00:39:48,763
YEAH, SURE, THEY CALL HER NAMES,
SHE STAY ALL BY HERSELF ALL
SUMMER.
1041
00:39:48,787 --> 00:39:51,466
SHE STAY ALL BY HERSELF ALL
SUMMER.
SHE COMES HOME, SHE WORKS EVERY
1042
00:39:51,490 --> 00:39:54,001
SUMMER.
SHE COMES HOME, SHE WORKS EVERY
DAY, AND SHE GOES TO BED, AND
1043
00:39:54,025 --> 00:39:55,837
SHE COMES HOME, SHE WORKS EVERY
DAY, AND SHE GOES TO BED, AND
SHE READS AN M&M.
1044
00:39:55,861 --> 00:39:56,738
DAY, AND SHE GOES TO BED, AND
SHE READS AN M&M.
YOU KNOW?
1045
00:39:56,762 --> 00:39:58,205
SHE READS AN M&M.
YOU KNOW?
AND IT'S ALL IN THE BOOK.
1046
00:39:58,229 --> 00:39:59,841
YOU KNOW?
AND IT'S ALL IN THE BOOK.
IT'S ON PAGE 1.
1047
00:39:59,865 --> 00:40:01,275
AND IT'S ALL IN THE BOOK.
IT'S ON PAGE 1.
YOU KNOW "ONE" IN GREEK?
1048
00:40:01,299 --> 00:40:02,610
IT'S ON PAGE 1.
YOU KNOW "ONE" IN GREEK?
PAGE 1.
1049
00:40:02,634 --> 00:40:05,780
YOU KNOW "ONE" IN GREEK?
PAGE 1.
ALL THE PAGES ARE "1."
1050
00:40:05,804 --> 00:40:07,815
PAGE 1.
ALL THE PAGES ARE "1."
AH, IT'S THE LAST PAGE... 1B.
1051
00:40:07,839 --> 00:40:08,883
ALL THE PAGES ARE "1."
AH, IT'S THE LAST PAGE... 1B.
SHE'S SO STUPID!
1052
00:40:08,907 --> 00:40:10,050
AH, IT'S THE LAST PAGE... 1B.
SHE'S SO STUPID!
OH, PAPA!
1053
00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:12,119
SHE'S SO STUPID!
OH, PAPA!
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
1054
00:40:12,143 --> 00:40:13,721
OH, PAPA!
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
MY FATHER'S A CROOK AND A FRAUD.
1055
00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:15,289
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
MY FATHER'S A CROOK AND A FRAUD.
HE PUT ME UP TO THIS SO HE COULD
1056
00:40:15,313 --> 00:40:16,123
MY FATHER'S A CROOK AND A FRAUD.
HE PUT ME UP TO THIS SO HE COULD
GET THE MONEY.
1057
00:40:16,147 --> 00:40:18,626
HE PUT ME UP TO THIS SO HE COULD
GET THE MONEY.
HE REALLY DID, AND I'M SORRY.
1058
00:40:18,650 --> 00:40:20,060
GET THE MONEY.
HE REALLY DID, AND I'M SORRY.
HIS LUNCHEONETTE WAS GOING DOWN
1059
00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:21,396
HE REALLY DID, AND I'M SORRY.
HIS LUNCHEONETTE WAS GOING DOWN
THE TUBES, AND HE MADE ME DO
1060
00:40:21,420 --> 00:40:22,897
HIS LUNCHEONETTE WAS GOING DOWN
THE TUBES, AND HE MADE ME DO
THIS, AND I APOLOGIZE TO YOU AND
1061
00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:24,432
THE TUBES, AND HE MADE ME DO
THIS, AND I APOLOGIZE TO YOU AND
YOUR AUDIENCE.
1062
00:40:24,456 --> 00:40:26,934
THIS, AND I APOLOGIZE TO YOU AND
YOUR AUDIENCE.
NEVER TALK WITH DISRESPECT TO
1063
00:40:26,958 --> 00:40:28,836
YOUR AUDIENCE.
NEVER TALK WITH DISRESPECT TO
YOUR FATHER ON MY SHOW!
1064
00:40:28,860 --> 00:40:30,505
NEVER TALK WITH DISRESPECT TO
YOUR FATHER ON MY SHOW!
OHH! WHAT ARE YOU...
1065
00:40:30,529 --> 00:40:31,672
YOUR FATHER ON MY SHOW!
OHH! WHAT ARE YOU...
OH, YOU POOR MAN.
1066
00:40:31,696 --> 00:40:33,374
OHH! WHAT ARE YOU...
OH, YOU POOR MAN.
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CASE, AND I
1067
00:40:33,398 --> 00:40:34,675
OH, YOU POOR MAN.
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CASE, AND I
CERTAINLY HOPE YOU WIN.
1068
00:40:34,699 --> 00:40:35,643
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CASE, AND I
CERTAINLY HOPE YOU WIN.
THAT'S RIGHT.
1069
00:40:35,667 --> 00:40:37,177
CERTAINLY HOPE YOU WIN.
THAT'S RIGHT.
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN MY
1070
00:40:37,201 --> 00:40:38,713
THAT'S RIGHT.
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN MY
GUEST WILL BE A GROWN MAN WHO
1071
00:40:38,737 --> 00:40:40,247
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN MY
GUEST WILL BE A GROWN MAN WHO
STILL USES THE WORD "TARDY."
1072
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:42,991
GUEST WILL BE A GROWN MAN WHO
STILL USES THE WORD "TARDY."
GOOD NIGHT.
1073
00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:57,780
Announcer: LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, THE STORY OF "H."
IT ALL STARTED WITH MY
1074
00:40:59,424 --> 00:41:01,436
GENTLEMEN, THE STORY OF "H."
IT ALL STARTED WITH MY
PARENTS, GRACE AND GLENN HEFNER,
1075
00:41:01,460 --> 00:41:02,837
IT ALL STARTED WITH MY
PARENTS, GRACE AND GLENN HEFNER,
HARDWORKING FARM PEOPLE FROM
1076
00:41:02,861 --> 00:41:05,139
PARENTS, GRACE AND GLENN HEFNER,
HARDWORKING FARM PEOPLE FROM
NEBRASKA, WITH A STRONG SENSE OF
1077
00:41:05,163 --> 00:41:11,078
HARDWORKING FARM PEOPLE FROM
NEBRASKA, WITH A STRONG SENSE OF
RIGHT AND WRONG.
1078
00:41:11,102 --> 00:41:13,347
NEBRASKA, WITH A STRONG SENSE OF
RIGHT AND WRONG.
THANKS TO THEM, I GOT A GOOD
1079
00:41:13,371 --> 00:41:19,186
RIGHT AND WRONG.
THANKS TO THEM, I GOT A GOOD
START IN LIFE.
1080
00:41:19,210 --> 00:41:21,088
THANKS TO THEM, I GOT A GOOD
START IN LIFE.
EVEN AS A YOUNG MAN, I TRIED TO
1081
00:41:21,112 --> 00:41:22,356
START IN LIFE.
EVEN AS A YOUNG MAN, I TRIED TO
DO THE RIGHT THING.
1082
00:41:22,380 --> 00:41:24,358
EVEN AS A YOUNG MAN, I TRIED TO
DO THE RIGHT THING.
I SERVED MY COUNTRY.
1083
00:41:24,382 --> 00:41:29,630
DO THE RIGHT THING.
I SERVED MY COUNTRY.
I TOOK A WIFE.
1084
00:41:29,654 --> 00:41:32,132
I SERVED MY COUNTRY.
I TOOK A WIFE.
THEN THINGS STARTED TO GO WRONG.
1085
00:41:32,156 --> 00:41:34,769
I TOOK A WIFE.
THEN THINGS STARTED TO GO WRONG.
I YIELDED TO TEMPTATION WITHOUT
1086
00:41:34,793 --> 00:41:39,006
THEN THINGS STARTED TO GO WRONG.
I YIELDED TO TEMPTATION WITHOUT
REALIZING WHERE IT WOULD LEAD.
1087
00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:42,343
I YIELDED TO TEMPTATION WITHOUT
REALIZING WHERE IT WOULD LEAD.
♪ VENUS, IF YOU WILL ♪
1088
00:41:42,367 --> 00:41:44,679
REALIZING WHERE IT WOULD LEAD.
♪ VENUS, IF YOU WILL ♪
ALL I WANTED WAS A PLAIN,
1089
00:41:44,703 --> 00:41:46,747
♪ VENUS, IF YOU WILL ♪
ALL I WANTED WAS A PLAIN,
ORDINARY GIRL NEXT DOOR.
1090
00:41:46,771 --> 00:41:47,982
ALL I WANTED WAS A PLAIN,
ORDINARY GIRL NEXT DOOR.
BUT, NO.
1091
00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:49,416
ORDINARY GIRL NEXT DOOR.
BUT, NO.
EVEN THIS WAS DENIED ME.
1092
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,385
BUT, NO.
EVEN THIS WAS DENIED ME.
♪ GIRL WITH ALL THE CHARM ♪
1093
00:41:51,409 --> 00:41:53,020
EVEN THIS WAS DENIED ME.
♪ GIRL WITH ALL THE CHARM ♪
♪ WELL, LONG TALL SALLY SHE'S
1094
00:41:53,044 --> 00:41:54,489
♪ GIRL WITH ALL THE CHARM ♪
♪ WELL, LONG TALL SALLY SHE'S
BUILT FOR SPEED, SHE GOT
1095
00:41:54,513 --> 00:41:55,957
♪ WELL, LONG TALL SALLY SHE'S
BUILT FOR SPEED, SHE GOT
EVERYTHING THAT UNCLE JOHN
1096
00:41:55,981 --> 00:41:56,457
BUILT FOR SPEED, SHE GOT
EVERYTHING THAT UNCLE JOHN
NEED ♪
1097
00:41:56,481 --> 00:41:57,959
EVERYTHING THAT UNCLE JOHN
NEED ♪
♪ OH, BABY ♪
1098
00:41:57,983 --> 00:42:00,495
NEED ♪
♪ OH, BABY ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
1099
00:42:00,519 --> 00:42:01,796
♪ OH, BABY ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪
1100
00:42:01,820 --> 00:42:03,097
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪
♪ BABY ♪
1101
00:42:03,121 --> 00:42:05,566
♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪
♪ BABY ♪
♪ HAVIN' ME SOME FUN TONIGHT ♪
1102
00:42:05,590 --> 00:42:07,101
♪ BABY ♪
♪ HAVIN' ME SOME FUN TONIGHT ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
1103
00:42:07,125 --> 00:42:08,369
♪ HAVIN' ME SOME FUN TONIGHT ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
HELLO, THERE.
1104
00:42:08,393 --> 00:42:09,470
♪ YEAH ♪
HELLO, THERE.
GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US THIS
1105
00:42:09,494 --> 00:42:10,270
HELLO, THERE.
GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US THIS
EVENING.
1106
00:42:10,294 --> 00:42:11,271
GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US THIS
EVENING.
I'M HUGH HEFNER,
1107
00:42:11,295 --> 00:42:12,507
EVENING.
I'M HUGH HEFNER,
EDITOR/PUBLISHER OF PLAYBOY
1108
00:42:12,531 --> 00:42:14,475
I'M HUGH HEFNER,
EDITOR/PUBLISHER OF PLAYBOY
MAGAZINE AND YOUR HOST.
1109
00:42:14,499 --> 00:42:16,343
EDITOR/PUBLISHER OF PLAYBOY
MAGAZINE AND YOUR HOST.
♪ PLEASE ALLOW ME TO
1110
00:42:16,367 --> 00:42:18,245
MAGAZINE AND YOUR HOST.
♪ PLEASE ALLOW ME TO
INTRODUCE MYSELF ♪
1111
00:42:18,269 --> 00:42:20,515
♪ PLEASE ALLOW ME TO
INTRODUCE MYSELF ♪
♪ I'M A MAN OF WEALTH AND
1112
00:42:20,539 --> 00:42:21,415
INTRODUCE MYSELF ♪
♪ I'M A MAN OF WEALTH AND
TASTE ♪
1113
00:42:21,439 --> 00:42:23,050
♪ I'M A MAN OF WEALTH AND
TASTE ♪
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN LEFT ALONE
1114
00:42:23,074 --> 00:42:24,585
TASTE ♪
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN LEFT ALONE
WITH MY SHAME, BUT I WAS LURED
1115
00:42:24,609 --> 00:42:26,453
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN LEFT ALONE
WITH MY SHAME, BUT I WAS LURED
INTO THE LIMELIGHT, CONFUSED,
1116
00:42:26,477 --> 00:42:28,355
WITH MY SHAME, BUT I WAS LURED
INTO THE LIMELIGHT, CONFUSED,
SAYING ANYTHING THAT CAME INTO
1117
00:42:28,379 --> 00:42:29,056
INTO THE LIMELIGHT, CONFUSED,
SAYING ANYTHING THAT CAME INTO
MY HEAD.
1118
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,091
SAYING ANYTHING THAT CAME INTO
MY HEAD.
I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A MUCH
1119
00:42:31,115 --> 00:42:33,160
MY HEAD.
I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A MUCH
MORE LIBERAL, MORE PERMISSIVE
1120
00:42:33,184 --> 00:42:35,129
I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A MUCH
MORE LIBERAL, MORE PERMISSIVE
ATTITUDE AND LIFESTYLES, AND
1121
00:42:35,153 --> 00:42:37,297
MORE LIBERAL, MORE PERMISSIVE
ATTITUDE AND LIFESTYLES, AND
THAT'S PART OF WHAT PLAYBOY'S
1122
00:42:37,321 --> 00:42:39,867
ATTITUDE AND LIFESTYLES, AND
THAT'S PART OF WHAT PLAYBOY'S
BEEN ALL ABOUT.
1123
00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:41,903
THAT'S PART OF WHAT PLAYBOY'S
BEEN ALL ABOUT.
LIBERTINES AND HIPPIES WERE
1124
00:42:41,927 --> 00:42:43,470
BEEN ALL ABOUT.
LIBERTINES AND HIPPIES WERE
TAKING OVER.
1125
00:42:43,494 --> 00:42:45,172
LIBERTINES AND HIPPIES WERE
TAKING OVER.
AND I WAS DUPED INTO GIVING THEM
1126
00:42:45,196 --> 00:42:48,375
TAKING OVER.
AND I WAS DUPED INTO GIVING THEM
A FORUM FOR THEIR VIEWS.
1127
00:42:48,399 --> 00:42:50,011
AND I WAS DUPED INTO GIVING THEM
A FORUM FOR THEIR VIEWS.
♪ GROUND CONTROL TO
1128
00:42:50,035 --> 00:42:51,245
A FORUM FOR THEIR VIEWS.
♪ GROUND CONTROL TO
MAJOR TOM ♪
1129
00:42:51,269 --> 00:42:52,747
♪ GROUND CONTROL TO
MAJOR TOM ♪
I WAS GOING MAD.
1130
00:42:52,771 --> 00:42:55,416
MAJOR TOM ♪
I WAS GOING MAD.
I DESPERATELY NEEDED TO ESCAPE.
1131
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:57,084
I WAS GOING MAD.
I DESPERATELY NEEDED TO ESCAPE.
♪ GROUND CONTROL TO
1132
00:42:57,108 --> 00:43:00,054
I DESPERATELY NEEDED TO ESCAPE.
♪ GROUND CONTROL TO
MAJOR TOM ♪
1133
00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:01,321
♪ GROUND CONTROL TO
MAJOR TOM ♪
BUT EVERY TIME I FLEW, I GOT
1134
00:43:01,345 --> 00:43:02,990
MAJOR TOM ♪
BUT EVERY TIME I FLEW, I GOT
AIRSICK.
1135
00:43:03,014 --> 00:43:04,559
BUT EVERY TIME I FLEW, I GOT
AIRSICK.
I COULD STAND IT NO LONGER.
1136
00:43:04,583 --> 00:43:06,293
AIRSICK.
I COULD STAND IT NO LONGER.
I HAD TO FIND A MORE WHOLESOME
1137
00:43:06,317 --> 00:43:07,728
I COULD STAND IT NO LONGER.
I HAD TO FIND A MORE WHOLESOME
ENVIRONMENT.
1138
00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:09,030
I HAD TO FIND A MORE WHOLESOME
ENVIRONMENT.
I MOVED TO HOLLYWOOD.
1139
00:43:09,054 --> 00:43:10,731
ENVIRONMENT.
I MOVED TO HOLLYWOOD.
♪ FOUR THAT WANNA OWN ME ♪
1140
00:43:10,755 --> 00:43:12,366
I MOVED TO HOLLYWOOD.
♪ FOUR THAT WANNA OWN ME ♪
♪ TWO THAT WANNA STONE ME ♪
1141
00:43:12,390 --> 00:43:14,068
♪ FOUR THAT WANNA OWN ME ♪
♪ TWO THAT WANNA STONE ME ♪
♪ ONE SAYS SHE'S A FRIEND OF
1142
00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:14,969
♪ TWO THAT WANNA STONE ME ♪
♪ ONE SAYS SHE'S A FRIEND OF
MINE ♪
1143
00:43:14,993 --> 00:43:17,838
♪ ONE SAYS SHE'S A FRIEND OF
MINE ♪
♪ I SHOULD GO TO BED ♪
1144
00:43:17,862 --> 00:43:19,373
MINE ♪
♪ I SHOULD GO TO BED ♪
I WAS MISERABLE.
1145
00:43:19,397 --> 00:43:20,908
♪ I SHOULD GO TO BED ♪
I WAS MISERABLE.
I WANTED SOLITUDE, BUT THE
1146
00:43:20,932 --> 00:43:22,577
I WAS MISERABLE.
I WANTED SOLITUDE, BUT THE
PARTIES NEVER STOPPED.
1147
00:43:22,601 --> 00:43:24,045
I WANTED SOLITUDE, BUT THE
PARTIES NEVER STOPPED.
I WAS ONLY AT EASE WITH THOSE
1148
00:43:24,069 --> 00:43:27,347
PARTIES NEVER STOPPED.
I WAS ONLY AT EASE WITH THOSE
WHO HAD NEVER READ MY MAGAZINE.
1149
00:43:27,371 --> 00:43:31,085
I WAS ONLY AT EASE WITH THOSE
WHO HAD NEVER READ MY MAGAZINE.
♪ TO SAY THE THINGS
1150
00:43:31,109 --> 00:43:33,921
WHO HAD NEVER READ MY MAGAZINE.
♪ TO SAY THE THINGS
HE TRULY FEELS ♪
1151
00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:35,089
♪ TO SAY THE THINGS
HE TRULY FEELS ♪
I KNOW IT'S TOO LATE TO
1152
00:43:35,113 --> 00:43:37,324
HE TRULY FEELS ♪
I KNOW IT'S TOO LATE TO
CHANGE MY LIFE...
1153
00:43:37,348 --> 00:43:39,126
I KNOW IT'S TOO LATE TO
CHANGE MY LIFE...
BUT IF SEEING THIS FILM CAN SAVE
1154
00:43:39,150 --> 00:43:40,861
CHANGE MY LIFE...
BUT IF SEEING THIS FILM CAN SAVE
EVEN ONE OF YOU FROM A SIMILAR
1155
00:43:40,885 --> 00:43:42,863
BUT IF SEEING THIS FILM CAN SAVE
EVEN ONE OF YOU FROM A SIMILAR
FATE...
1156
00:43:42,887 --> 00:43:44,531
EVEN ONE OF YOU FROM A SIMILAR
FATE...
THEN MAYBE...
1157
00:43:44,555 --> 00:43:46,300
FATE...
THEN MAYBE...
JUST MAYBE...
1158
00:43:46,324 --> 00:43:47,434
THEN MAYBE...
JUST MAYBE...
IT WAS WORTH IT.
1159
00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:53,674
JUST MAYBE...
IT WAS WORTH IT.
♪ AND DID IT MY WAY ♪
1160
00:43:53,698 --> 00:43:55,698
IT WAS WORTH IT.
♪ AND DID IT MY WAY ♪
[APPLAUSE]
1161
00:44:01,071 --> 00:44:06,553
Announcer: ATHENS IN THE YEAR
400 B.C., THE CRADLE OF WESTERN
CIVILIZATION AND THE BIRTHPLACE
1162
00:44:06,577 --> 00:44:10,390
400 B.C., THE CRADLE OF WESTERN
CIVILIZATION AND THE BIRTHPLACE
OF...
1163
00:44:10,414 --> 00:44:12,093
CIVILIZATION AND THE BIRTHPLACE
OF...
EACH DAY, THE WISE MEN AND YOUTH
1164
00:44:12,117 --> 00:44:13,761
OF...
EACH DAY, THE WISE MEN AND YOUTH
OF THE CITY WOULD GATHER IN THE
1165
00:44:13,785 --> 00:44:15,429
EACH DAY, THE WISE MEN AND YOUTH
OF THE CITY WOULD GATHER IN THE
MARKETPLACE TO ASK QUESTIONS OF
1166
00:44:15,453 --> 00:44:17,798
OF THE CITY WOULD GATHER IN THE
MARKETPLACE TO ASK QUESTIONS OF
THE PHILOSOPHERS AND TO LEARN AT
1167
00:44:17,822 --> 00:44:20,101
MARKETPLACE TO ASK QUESTIONS OF
THE PHILOSOPHERS AND TO LEARN AT
THE FEET OF THE ONE THEY CALLED
1168
00:44:20,125 --> 00:44:21,836
THE PHILOSOPHERS AND TO LEARN AT
THE FEET OF THE ONE THEY CALLED
HEF.
1169
00:44:21,860 --> 00:44:23,771
THE FEET OF THE ONE THEY CALLED
HEF.
IF YOU RECALL, FRIENDS,
1170
00:44:23,795 --> 00:44:26,040
HEF.
IF YOU RECALL, FRIENDS,
YESTERDAY WE SPOKE OF THE IDEAL
1171
00:44:26,064 --> 00:44:26,674
IF YOU RECALL, FRIENDS,
YESTERDAY WE SPOKE OF THE IDEAL
LIFE.
1172
00:44:26,698 --> 00:44:28,275
YESTERDAY WE SPOKE OF THE IDEAL
LIFE.
HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE?
1173
00:44:28,299 --> 00:44:31,946
LIFE.
HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE?
MY ANSWER, SIMPLY, KNOW THYSELF.
1174
00:44:31,970 --> 00:44:34,248
HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE?
MY ANSWER, SIMPLY, KNOW THYSELF.
A WISE THOUGHT, SOCRATES.
1175
00:44:34,272 --> 00:44:35,616
MY ANSWER, SIMPLY, KNOW THYSELF.
A WISE THOUGHT, SOCRATES.
AND I SAID THAT A MAN OUGHT TO
1176
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:37,785
A WISE THOUGHT, SOCRATES.
AND I SAID THAT A MAN OUGHT TO
LEAD A JUST LIFE, A LIFE OF
1177
00:44:37,809 --> 00:44:39,253
AND I SAID THAT A MAN OUGHT TO
LEAD A JUST LIFE, A LIFE OF
HARMONY.
1178
00:44:39,277 --> 00:44:41,789
LEAD A JUST LIFE, A LIFE OF
HARMONY.
MMM, WELL SPOKEN, PLATO.
1179
00:44:41,813 --> 00:44:43,958
HARMONY.
MMM, WELL SPOKEN, PLATO.
BUT WHAT SAY YOU, HEF, YOU WHO
1180
00:44:43,982 --> 00:44:46,093
MMM, WELL SPOKEN, PLATO.
BUT WHAT SAY YOU, HEF, YOU WHO
HAVE TRAVELED WISELY AND HAVE
1181
00:44:46,117 --> 00:44:49,396
BUT WHAT SAY YOU, HEF, YOU WHO
HAVE TRAVELED WISELY AND HAVE
VISITED ALL THE TOPLESS RESORTS?
1182
00:44:49,420 --> 00:44:52,499
HAVE TRAVELED WISELY AND HAVE
VISITED ALL THE TOPLESS RESORTS?
HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE?
1183
00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:54,001
VISITED ALL THE TOPLESS RESORTS?
HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE?
AH, BUT LET US DEFINE OUR
1184
00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:54,735
HOW SHOULD A MAN LIVE?
AH, BUT LET US DEFINE OUR
TERMS.
1185
00:44:54,759 --> 00:44:58,539
AH, BUT LET US DEFINE OUR
TERMS.
TELL ME, PLATO, WHAT IS A MAN?
1186
00:44:58,563 --> 00:45:00,340
TERMS.
TELL ME, PLATO, WHAT IS A MAN?
A CREATURE OF DESIRE, OF
1187
00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:01,909
TELL ME, PLATO, WHAT IS A MAN?
A CREATURE OF DESIRE, OF
COURAGE AND REASON?
1188
00:45:01,933 --> 00:45:03,144
A CREATURE OF DESIRE, OF
COURAGE AND REASON?
YES, OF COURSE.
1189
00:45:03,168 --> 00:45:04,244
COURAGE AND REASON?
YES, OF COURSE.
MM-HMM.
1190
00:45:04,268 --> 00:45:05,546
YES, OF COURSE.
MM-HMM.
THEN WHY IS A MAN DIFFERENT
1191
00:45:05,570 --> 00:45:07,081
MM-HMM.
THEN WHY IS A MAN DIFFERENT
FROM THE BEASTS?
1192
00:45:07,105 --> 00:45:10,851
THEN WHY IS A MAN DIFFERENT
FROM THE BEASTS?
THE LION HAS COURAGE.
1193
00:45:10,875 --> 00:45:12,586
FROM THE BEASTS?
THE LION HAS COURAGE.
BUT DOES THE LION DECORATE HIS
1194
00:45:12,610 --> 00:45:14,755
THE LION HAS COURAGE.
BUT DOES THE LION DECORATE HIS
CAVE...
1195
00:45:14,779 --> 00:45:16,223
BUT DOES THE LION DECORATE HIS
CAVE...
WITH A LEATHER BEDSPREAD AND
1196
00:45:16,247 --> 00:45:17,124
CAVE...
WITH A LEATHER BEDSPREAD AND
SHAG CARPETING?
1197
00:45:17,148 --> 00:45:19,459
WITH A LEATHER BEDSPREAD AND
SHAG CARPETING?
MNH-MNH, NO.
1198
00:45:19,483 --> 00:45:21,395
SHAG CARPETING?
MNH-MNH, NO.
AND DOES THE FOX CHOOSE THE
1199
00:45:21,419 --> 00:45:23,363
MNH-MNH, NO.
AND DOES THE FOX CHOOSE THE
AFTERSHAVE LOTION THAT IS RIGHT
1200
00:45:23,387 --> 00:45:24,065
AND DOES THE FOX CHOOSE THE
AFTERSHAVE LOTION THAT IS RIGHT
FOR HIM?
1201
00:45:24,089 --> 00:45:26,333
AFTERSHAVE LOTION THAT IS RIGHT
FOR HIM?
AHH, I SEE, I SEE.
1202
00:45:26,357 --> 00:45:28,602
FOR HIM?
AHH, I SEE, I SEE.
THE MAN IS THE ONLY CREATURE WHO
1203
00:45:28,626 --> 00:45:31,072
AHH, I SEE, I SEE.
THE MAN IS THE ONLY CREATURE WHO
CAN ENJOY A SENSUAL AND
1204
00:45:31,096 --> 00:45:34,374
THE MAN IS THE ONLY CREATURE WHO
CAN ENJOY A SENSUAL AND
UNINHIBITED LIFESTYLE AND LIVE
1205
00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:35,642
CAN ENJOY A SENSUAL AND
UNINHIBITED LIFESTYLE AND LIVE
FREE AND WORK HARD.
1206
00:45:35,666 --> 00:45:39,180
UNINHIBITED LIFESTYLE AND LIVE
FREE AND WORK HARD.
HABEO SCENTUM SUM, ERGO
1207
00:45:39,204 --> 00:45:42,717
FREE AND WORK HARD.
HABEO SCENTUM SUM, ERGO
SUM... I HAVE MY OWN SCENT,
1208
00:45:42,741 --> 00:45:44,518
HABEO SCENTUM SUM, ERGO
SUM... I HAVE MY OWN SCENT,
THEREFORE I AM.
1209
00:45:44,542 --> 00:45:45,652
SUM... I HAVE MY OWN SCENT,
THEREFORE I AM.
YES.
1210
00:45:45,676 --> 00:45:47,922
THEREFORE I AM.
YES.
AH, ONCE AGAIN, HEF, YOU HAVE
1211
00:45:47,946 --> 00:45:50,224
YES.
AH, ONCE AGAIN, HEF, YOU HAVE
PROVEN YOURSELF THE WISEST AND
1212
00:45:50,248 --> 00:45:53,094
AH, ONCE AGAIN, HEF, YOU HAVE
PROVEN YOURSELF THE WISEST AND
MOST SWINGING OF THE GREEKS.
1213
00:45:53,118 --> 00:45:55,362
PROVEN YOURSELF THE WISEST AND
MOST SWINGING OF THE GREEKS.
BUT ANSWER THIS, IF YOU CAN.
1214
00:45:55,386 --> 00:45:56,764
MOST SWINGING OF THE GREEKS.
BUT ANSWER THIS, IF YOU CAN.
"ONE NIGHT LAST WEEK, FOLLOWING
1215
00:45:56,788 --> 00:45:58,132
BUT ANSWER THIS, IF YOU CAN.
"ONE NIGHT LAST WEEK, FOLLOWING
A DELICIOUS DINNER OF MOUSSAKA
1216
00:45:58,156 --> 00:45:59,466
"ONE NIGHT LAST WEEK, FOLLOWING
A DELICIOUS DINNER OF MOUSSAKA
AND WHITE WINE, I WAS STARTLED
1217
00:45:59,490 --> 00:46:00,768
A DELICIOUS DINNER OF MOUSSAKA
AND WHITE WINE, I WAS STARTLED
TO HEAR THE YOUNG LADY I WAS
1218
00:46:00,792 --> 00:46:02,002
AND WHITE WINE, I WAS STARTLED
TO HEAR THE YOUNG LADY I WAS
ENTERTAINING ASK IF I HAD A
1219
00:46:02,026 --> 00:46:03,170
TO HEAR THE YOUNG LADY I WAS
ENTERTAINING ASK IF I HAD A
BOTTLE OF OUZO.
1220
00:46:03,194 --> 00:46:04,739
ENTERTAINING ASK IF I HAD A
BOTTLE OF OUZO.
JUST WHAT IS OUZO, ANYWAY, AND
1221
00:46:04,763 --> 00:46:06,207
BOTTLE OF OUZO.
JUST WHAT IS OUZO, ANYWAY, AND
WHERE CAN I BUY IT?"
1222
00:46:06,231 --> 00:46:07,474
JUST WHAT IS OUZO, ANYWAY, AND
WHERE CAN I BUY IT?"
WELL, THIS IS, INDEED, A
1223
00:46:07,498 --> 00:46:08,909
WHERE CAN I BUY IT?"
WELL, THIS IS, INDEED, A
DIFFICULT RIDDLE.
1224
00:46:08,933 --> 00:46:11,245
WELL, THIS IS, INDEED, A
DIFFICULT RIDDLE.
NOW HERE'S ONE FOR YOU.
1225
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:14,014
DIFFICULT RIDDLE.
NOW HERE'S ONE FOR YOU.
HOW MANY OF YOU CAN SPOT THE
1226
00:46:14,038 --> 00:46:16,217
NOW HERE'S ONE FOR YOU.
HOW MANY OF YOU CAN SPOT THE
RABBIT ON THIS VASE?
1227
00:46:16,241 --> 00:46:17,284
HOW MANY OF YOU CAN SPOT THE
RABBIT ON THIS VASE?
AH.
1228
00:46:17,308 --> 00:46:18,919
RABBIT ON THIS VASE?
AH.
MNH-MNH-MNH!
1229
00:46:18,943 --> 00:46:19,620
AH.
MNH-MNH-MNH!
MNH!
1230
00:46:19,644 --> 00:46:22,790
MNH-MNH-MNH!
MNH!
YOU ARE FAR TOO SLY FOR US, HEF.
1231
00:46:22,814 --> 00:46:24,691
MNH!
YOU ARE FAR TOO SLY FOR US, HEF.
CLEARLY, YOU HAVE NO EQUAL IN
1232
00:46:24,715 --> 00:46:26,761
YOU ARE FAR TOO SLY FOR US, HEF.
CLEARLY, YOU HAVE NO EQUAL IN
THE FIELD OF SOPHISTICATED MEN'S
1233
00:46:26,785 --> 00:46:28,162
CLEARLY, YOU HAVE NO EQUAL IN
THE FIELD OF SOPHISTICATED MEN'S
ENTERTAINMENT.
1234
00:46:28,186 --> 00:46:29,296
THE FIELD OF SOPHISTICATED MEN'S
ENTERTAINMENT.
BUT WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH FOR
1235
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:29,897
ENTERTAINMENT.
BUT WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH FOR
TODAY.
1236
00:46:29,921 --> 00:46:30,965
BUT WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH FOR
TODAY.
SHALL WE GO TO MY HOUSE?
1237
00:46:30,989 --> 00:46:32,566
TODAY.
SHALL WE GO TO MY HOUSE?
THE SAUNA IS WORKING NOW.
1238
00:46:32,590 --> 00:46:34,034
SHALL WE GO TO MY HOUSE?
THE SAUNA IS WORKING NOW.
YES, LET'S GO.
1239
00:46:34,058 --> 00:46:35,602
THE SAUNA IS WORKING NOW.
YES, LET'S GO.
YOU TWO GO WITHOUT ME.
1240
00:46:35,626 --> 00:46:38,105
YES, LET'S GO.
YOU TWO GO WITHOUT ME.
I... I MUST STAY HERE AND SIT
1241
00:46:38,129 --> 00:46:39,874
YOU TWO GO WITHOUT ME.
I... I MUST STAY HERE AND SIT
AND PONDER THE ULTIMATE
1242
00:46:39,898 --> 00:46:40,775
I... I MUST STAY HERE AND SIT
AND PONDER THE ULTIMATE
QUESTION.
1243
00:46:40,799 --> 00:46:43,144
AND PONDER THE ULTIMATE
QUESTION.
AW, GIVE UP, HEF.
1244
00:46:43,168 --> 00:46:44,879
QUESTION.
AW, GIVE UP, HEF.
NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, YOU BROOD
1245
00:46:44,903 --> 00:46:46,380
AW, GIVE UP, HEF.
NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, YOU BROOD
OVER THE SAME QUESTION.
1246
00:46:46,404 --> 00:46:47,181
NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, YOU BROOD
OVER THE SAME QUESTION.
COME WITH US.
1247
00:46:47,205 --> 00:46:48,315
OVER THE SAME QUESTION.
COME WITH US.
WE'LL HAVE A DRINK AT THE
1248
00:46:48,339 --> 00:46:49,083
COME WITH US.
WE'LL HAVE A DRINK AT THE
PLAYBOY FORUM.
1249
00:46:49,107 --> 00:46:50,517
WE'LL HAVE A DRINK AT THE
PLAYBOY FORUM.
NO, LEAVE ME NOW.
1250
00:46:50,541 --> 00:46:51,618
PLAYBOY FORUM.
NO, LEAVE ME NOW.
I'LL JOIN YOU LATER.
1251
00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:52,686
NO, LEAVE ME NOW.
I'LL JOIN YOU LATER.
I'LL LEAVE YOU TO YOUR
1252
00:46:52,710 --> 00:46:57,925
I'LL JOIN YOU LATER.
I'LL LEAVE YOU TO YOUR
THOUGHTS.
1253
00:46:57,949 --> 00:47:01,383
I'LL LEAVE YOU TO YOUR
THOUGHTS.
TO GO PINK OR NOT TO GO PINK.
1254
00:47:18,302 --> 00:47:24,919
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS]
AND SO, UPON THIS GRIEVOUS
OCCASION, BECAUSE WE AT THE
1255
00:47:24,943 --> 00:47:26,586
AND SO, UPON THIS GRIEVOUS
OCCASION, BECAUSE WE AT THE
HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR FUNERAL HOME
1256
00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:27,688
OCCASION, BECAUSE WE AT THE
HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR FUNERAL HOME
DID NOT REALLY KNOW
1257
00:47:27,712 --> 00:47:29,990
HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR FUNERAL HOME
DID NOT REALLY KNOW
JONATHAN GILSRACK, WE'VE CALLED
1258
00:47:30,014 --> 00:47:32,259
DID NOT REALLY KNOW
JONATHAN GILSRACK, WE'VE CALLED
UPON HIS CLOSEST FRIEND IN LIFE
1259
00:47:32,283 --> 00:47:33,627
JONATHAN GILSRACK, WE'VE CALLED
UPON HIS CLOSEST FRIEND IN LIFE
TO DELIVER THE EULOGY,
1260
00:47:33,651 --> 00:47:34,695
UPON HIS CLOSEST FRIEND IN LIFE
TO DELIVER THE EULOGY,
HARTLEY RAYMOND.
1261
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:40,267
TO DELIVER THE EULOGY,
HARTLEY RAYMOND.
HARTLEY?
1262
00:47:40,291 --> 00:47:42,536
HARTLEY RAYMOND.
HARTLEY?
THANK YOU, JOHN HOLSE.
1263
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:43,737
HARTLEY?
THANK YOU, JOHN HOLSE.
HELLO, EVERYBODY, I'M
1264
00:47:43,761 --> 00:47:45,739
THANK YOU, JOHN HOLSE.
HELLO, EVERYBODY, I'M
HARTLEY RAYMOND.
1265
00:47:45,763 --> 00:47:46,907
HELLO, EVERYBODY, I'M
HARTLEY RAYMOND.
I'M SORRY WE ALL HAD TO MEET
1266
00:47:46,931 --> 00:47:48,375
HARTLEY RAYMOND.
I'M SORRY WE ALL HAD TO MEET
UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT
1267
00:47:48,399 --> 00:47:50,311
I'M SORRY WE ALL HAD TO MEET
UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT
THAT IS LIFE...
1268
00:47:50,335 --> 00:47:53,280
UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT
THAT IS LIFE...
AND DEATH, TOO, HUH?
1269
00:47:53,304 --> 00:47:54,448
THAT IS LIFE...
AND DEATH, TOO, HUH?
YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE SEEING
1270
00:47:54,472 --> 00:47:55,216
AND DEATH, TOO, HUH?
YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE SEEING
EVERYONE SO DOWN.
1271
00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:56,483
YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE SEEING
EVERYONE SO DOWN.
JONATHAN WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED IT
1272
00:47:56,507 --> 00:47:57,318
EVERYONE SO DOWN.
JONATHAN WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED IT
THIS WAY.
1273
00:47:57,342 --> 00:47:59,820
JONATHAN WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED IT
THIS WAY.
YOU KNOW, TO JONATHAN, LIFE WAS
1274
00:47:59,844 --> 00:48:01,455
THIS WAY.
YOU KNOW, TO JONATHAN, LIFE WAS
A PARTY.
1275
00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:02,689
YOU KNOW, TO JONATHAN, LIFE WAS
A PARTY.
THINK OF A WORD THAT DESCRIBES
1276
00:48:02,713 --> 00:48:03,324
A PARTY.
THINK OF A WORD THAT DESCRIBES
JONATHAN.
1277
00:48:03,348 --> 00:48:03,991
THINK OF A WORD THAT DESCRIBES
JONATHAN.
GO AHEAD.
1278
00:48:04,015 --> 00:48:06,160
JONATHAN.
GO AHEAD.
EVERYBODY, THINK OF A WORD.
1279
00:48:06,184 --> 00:48:07,928
GO AHEAD.
EVERYBODY, THINK OF A WORD.
ALL RIGHT, HAVE YOU GOT IT?
1280
00:48:07,952 --> 00:48:08,996
EVERYBODY, THINK OF A WORD.
ALL RIGHT, HAVE YOU GOT IT?
HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE THINKING
1281
00:48:09,020 --> 00:48:09,964
ALL RIGHT, HAVE YOU GOT IT?
HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE THINKING
"TERRIFIC"?
1282
00:48:09,988 --> 00:48:11,198
HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE THINKING
"TERRIFIC"?
HANDS?
1283
00:48:11,222 --> 00:48:12,699
"TERRIFIC"?
HANDS?
FOUR OUT OF NINE.
1284
00:48:12,723 --> 00:48:14,501
HANDS?
FOUR OUT OF NINE.
ALMOST HALF OF YOU WERE THINKING
1285
00:48:14,525 --> 00:48:16,370
FOUR OUT OF NINE.
ALMOST HALF OF YOU WERE THINKING
THAT JONATHAN WAS TERRIFIC.
1286
00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:17,304
ALMOST HALF OF YOU WERE THINKING
THAT JONATHAN WAS TERRIFIC.
[CRYING]
1287
00:48:17,328 --> 00:48:18,505
THAT JONATHAN WAS TERRIFIC.
[CRYING]
OH, PLEASE DON'T CRY,
1288
00:48:18,529 --> 00:48:19,606
[CRYING]
OH, PLEASE DON'T CRY,
MRS. GILSRACK.
1289
00:48:19,630 --> 00:48:21,208
OH, PLEASE DON'T CRY,
MRS. GILSRACK.
I HATE TO SEE YOU CRY.
1290
00:48:21,232 --> 00:48:21,942
MRS. GILSRACK.
I HATE TO SEE YOU CRY.
COME ON.
1291
00:48:21,966 --> 00:48:23,878
I HATE TO SEE YOU CRY.
COME ON.
COME ON, LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE.
1292
00:48:23,902 --> 00:48:24,511
COME ON.
COME ON, LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
1293
00:48:24,535 --> 00:48:25,679
COME ON, LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
ON ARRIVING HERE TODAY, I SAW
1294
00:48:25,703 --> 00:48:26,680
YOU KNOW WHAT?
ON ARRIVING HERE TODAY, I SAW
THIS BEAUTIFUL WREATH OF
1295
00:48:26,704 --> 00:48:27,614
ON ARRIVING HERE TODAY, I SAW
THIS BEAUTIFUL WREATH OF
FLOWERS.
1296
00:48:27,638 --> 00:48:28,648
THIS BEAUTIFUL WREATH OF
FLOWERS.
I FELT BETTER JUST LOOKING AT
1297
00:48:28,672 --> 00:48:29,083
FLOWERS.
I FELT BETTER JUST LOOKING AT
THEM.
1298
00:48:29,107 --> 00:48:30,751
I FELT BETTER JUST LOOKING AT
THEM.
AND I SAID TO MYSELF, "YOU KNOW,
1299
00:48:30,775 --> 00:48:32,086
THEM.
AND I SAID TO MYSELF, "YOU KNOW,
GOSH, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL."
1300
00:48:32,110 --> 00:48:33,354
AND I SAID TO MYSELF, "YOU KNOW,
GOSH, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL."
THEY LOOK JUST LIKE THE ONES I
1301
00:48:33,378 --> 00:48:34,355
GOSH, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL."
THEY LOOK JUST LIKE THE ONES I
HAVE RIGHT HERE.
1302
00:48:34,379 --> 00:48:35,256
THEY LOOK JUST LIKE THE ONES I
HAVE RIGHT HERE.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
1303
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:36,523
HAVE RIGHT HERE.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
[ORGAN PLAYS]
1304
00:48:36,547 --> 00:48:37,424
HOW ABOUT THAT?
[ORGAN PLAYS]
THEY'RE FOR YOU.
1305
00:48:37,448 --> 00:48:38,926
[ORGAN PLAYS]
THEY'RE FOR YOU.
TAKE THEM BECAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY
1306
00:48:38,950 --> 00:48:39,994
THEY'RE FOR YOU.
TAKE THEM BECAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY
AND BEAUTIFUL, OKAY?
1307
00:48:40,018 --> 00:48:42,162
TAKE THEM BECAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY
AND BEAUTIFUL, OKAY?
A LITTLE HOCUS-POCUS, BUT WHAT
1308
00:48:42,186 --> 00:48:44,298
AND BEAUTIFUL, OKAY?
A LITTLE HOCUS-POCUS, BUT WHAT
IS LIFE BUT AN ILLUSION, HUH?
1309
00:48:44,322 --> 00:48:45,532
A LITTLE HOCUS-POCUS, BUT WHAT
IS LIFE BUT AN ILLUSION, HUH?
NOW, I'M JUST TRYING TO CHEER
1310
00:48:45,556 --> 00:48:46,800
IS LIFE BUT AN ILLUSION, HUH?
NOW, I'M JUST TRYING TO CHEER
EVERYBODY UP A LITTLE BIT, AND
1311
00:48:46,824 --> 00:48:48,102
NOW, I'M JUST TRYING TO CHEER
EVERYBODY UP A LITTLE BIT, AND
I'M GONNA KEEP TRYING, BUT I'M
1312
00:48:48,126 --> 00:48:49,403
EVERYBODY UP A LITTLE BIT, AND
I'M GONNA KEEP TRYING, BUT I'M
GONNA NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE
1313
00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:51,538
I'M GONNA KEEP TRYING, BUT I'M
GONNA NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE
MOURNERS TO STEP UP AND HELP ME.
1314
00:48:51,562 --> 00:48:53,274
GONNA NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE
MOURNERS TO STEP UP AND HELP ME.
NOW, HOW ABOUT THIS PRETTY GIRL
1315
00:48:53,298 --> 00:48:54,975
MOURNERS TO STEP UP AND HELP ME.
NOW, HOW ABOUT THIS PRETTY GIRL
RIGHT HERE, THE WIDOW GILSRACK?
1316
00:48:54,999 --> 00:48:55,709
NOW, HOW ABOUT THIS PRETTY GIRL
RIGHT HERE, THE WIDOW GILSRACK?
NO, NO.
1317
00:48:55,733 --> 00:48:56,743
RIGHT HERE, THE WIDOW GILSRACK?
NO, NO.
OH, COME ON, DON'T BE SHY.
1318
00:48:56,767 --> 00:48:57,744
NO, NO.
OH, COME ON, DON'T BE SHY.
MAYBE IF WE GIVE HER A HAND,
1319
00:48:57,768 --> 00:48:58,345
OH, COME ON, DON'T BE SHY.
MAYBE IF WE GIVE HER A HAND,
SHE'LL COME UP.
1320
00:48:58,369 --> 00:48:59,246
MAYBE IF WE GIVE HER A HAND,
SHE'LL COME UP.
COME ON.
1321
00:48:59,270 --> 00:49:00,647
SHE'LL COME UP.
COME ON.
LET'S HEAR IT FOR HER!
1322
00:49:00,671 --> 00:49:02,482
COME ON.
LET'S HEAR IT FOR HER!
COME ON!
1323
00:49:02,506 --> 00:49:03,850
LET'S HEAR IT FOR HER!
COME ON!
IS SHE MARVELOUS?!
1324
00:49:03,874 --> 00:49:05,519
COME ON!
IS SHE MARVELOUS?!
COME ON UP, MRS. GILSRACK!
1325
00:49:05,543 --> 00:49:06,086
IS SHE MARVELOUS?!
COME ON UP, MRS. GILSRACK!
COME ON!
1326
00:49:06,110 --> 00:49:07,087
COME ON UP, MRS. GILSRACK!
COME ON!
YOU'RE TERRIFIC.
1327
00:49:07,111 --> 00:49:07,754
COME ON!
YOU'RE TERRIFIC.
THANK YOU.
1328
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:08,923
YOU'RE TERRIFIC.
THANK YOU.
NOW, WE'VE NEVER MET BEFORE IN
1329
00:49:08,947 --> 00:49:09,756
THANK YOU.
NOW, WE'VE NEVER MET BEFORE IN
OUR LIVES, HAVE WE?
1330
00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:10,891
NOW, WE'VE NEVER MET BEFORE IN
OUR LIVES, HAVE WE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HARTLEY?
1331
00:49:10,915 --> 00:49:12,059
OUR LIVES, HAVE WE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HARTLEY?
NO, OF COURSE WE HAVE.
1332
00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:13,060
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HARTLEY?
NO, OF COURSE WE HAVE.
I'M JUST KIDDING.
1333
00:49:13,084 --> 00:49:13,560
NO, OF COURSE WE HAVE.
I'M JUST KIDDING.
GOOD.
1334
00:49:13,584 --> 00:49:14,828
I'M JUST KIDDING.
GOOD.
I THINK WE'RE GONNA SUCCEED.
1335
00:49:14,852 --> 00:49:17,231
GOOD.
I THINK WE'RE GONNA SUCCEED.
NOW, DO YOU BELIEVE IN SPIRITS?
1336
00:49:17,255 --> 00:49:19,033
I THINK WE'RE GONNA SUCCEED.
NOW, DO YOU BELIEVE IN SPIRITS?
OH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
1337
00:49:19,057 --> 00:49:20,301
NOW, DO YOU BELIEVE IN SPIRITS?
OH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
BE HONEST.
1338
00:49:20,325 --> 00:49:22,169
OH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
BE HONEST.
I... I DON'T KNOW.
1339
00:49:22,193 --> 00:49:23,404
BE HONEST.
I... I DON'T KNOW.
OH, ALL RIGHT, Shh, Shh.
1340
00:49:23,428 --> 00:49:24,771
I... I DON'T KNOW.
OH, ALL RIGHT, Shh, Shh.
ALL RIGHT, ON MY WAY OVER HERE,
1341
00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:25,940
OH, ALL RIGHT, Shh, Shh.
ALL RIGHT, ON MY WAY OVER HERE,
I HAD THE MOST RIDICULOUS
1342
00:49:25,964 --> 00:49:26,440
ALL RIGHT, ON MY WAY OVER HERE,
I HAD THE MOST RIDICULOUS
THOUGHT.
1343
00:49:26,464 --> 00:49:27,474
I HAD THE MOST RIDICULOUS
THOUGHT.
TYPICAL... RIDICULOUS.
1344
00:49:27,498 --> 00:49:29,176
THOUGHT.
TYPICAL... RIDICULOUS.
I THOUGHT, "WHAT IF THE SPIRITS
1345
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:30,577
TYPICAL... RIDICULOUS.
I THOUGHT, "WHAT IF THE SPIRITS
REALLY DID SPEAK FROM THE
1346
00:49:30,601 --> 00:49:32,012
I THOUGHT, "WHAT IF THE SPIRITS
REALLY DID SPEAK FROM THE
BEYOND?"
1347
00:49:32,036 --> 00:49:33,314
REALLY DID SPEAK FROM THE
BEYOND?"
A LITTLE MUSIC, PROFESSOR,
1348
00:49:33,338 --> 00:49:34,114
BEYOND?"
A LITTLE MUSIC, PROFESSOR,
PLEASE.
1349
00:49:34,138 --> 00:49:35,349
A LITTLE MUSIC, PROFESSOR,
PLEASE.
[ORGAN PLAYS]
1350
00:49:35,373 --> 00:49:36,516
PLEASE.
[ORGAN PLAYS]
NOW I'VE GOT HERE AN ORDINARY
1351
00:49:36,540 --> 00:49:37,418
[ORGAN PLAYS]
NOW I'VE GOT HERE AN ORDINARY
PACK OF PLAYING CARDS.
1352
00:49:37,442 --> 00:49:38,485
NOW I'VE GOT HERE AN ORDINARY
PACK OF PLAYING CARDS.
NOW, THERE'S NOTHING UP MY
1353
00:49:38,509 --> 00:49:39,619
PACK OF PLAYING CARDS.
NOW, THERE'S NOTHING UP MY
SLEEVES, AND I'M GONNA PROVE
1354
00:49:39,643 --> 00:49:40,787
NOW, THERE'S NOTHING UP MY
SLEEVES, AND I'M GONNA PROVE
THAT THE SPIRITS CAN TALK AND
1355
00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:41,989
SLEEVES, AND I'M GONNA PROVE
THAT THE SPIRITS CAN TALK AND
HOPEFULLY JONATHAN WILL HELP US
1356
00:49:42,013 --> 00:49:42,756
THAT THE SPIRITS CAN TALK AND
HOPEFULLY JONATHAN WILL HELP US
OUT A LITTLE BIT.
1357
00:49:42,780 --> 00:49:45,259
HOPEFULLY JONATHAN WILL HELP US
OUT A LITTLE BIT.
NOW GO AHEAD... PICK A CARD.
1358
00:49:45,283 --> 00:49:46,760
OUT A LITTLE BIT.
NOW GO AHEAD... PICK A CARD.
HEY, NOW, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH
1359
00:49:46,784 --> 00:49:47,828
NOW GO AHEAD... PICK A CARD.
HEY, NOW, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH
YOU, GARY?
1360
00:49:47,852 --> 00:49:49,596
HEY, NOW, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH
YOU, GARY?
HEY, NOW, DID YOU WANT TO BE MY
1361
00:49:49,620 --> 00:49:51,531
YOU, GARY?
HEY, NOW, DID YOU WANT TO BE MY
LITTLE ASSISTANT, TOO?
1362
00:49:51,555 --> 00:49:53,000
HEY, NOW, DID YOU WANT TO BE MY
LITTLE ASSISTANT, TOO?
YOU KNUCKLEHEAD, YOU WANT TO BE
1363
00:49:53,024 --> 00:49:53,733
LITTLE ASSISTANT, TOO?
YOU KNUCKLEHEAD, YOU WANT TO BE
MY ASSISTANT?
1364
00:49:53,757 --> 00:49:54,568
YOU KNUCKLEHEAD, YOU WANT TO BE
MY ASSISTANT?
COME ON UP HERE!
1365
00:49:54,592 --> 00:49:55,702
MY ASSISTANT?
COME ON UP HERE!
I'M GONNA NEED TWO ASSISTANTS.
1366
00:49:55,726 --> 00:49:56,703
COME ON UP HERE!
I'M GONNA NEED TWO ASSISTANTS.
GET UP HERE, GARY.
1367
00:49:56,727 --> 00:49:58,072
I'M GONNA NEED TWO ASSISTANTS.
GET UP HERE, GARY.
OKAY, NOW YOU CAN HOLD THE DECK.
1368
00:49:58,096 --> 00:49:59,073
GET UP HERE, GARY.
OKAY, NOW YOU CAN HOLD THE DECK.
HERE, YOU HOLD THE DECK.
1369
00:49:59,097 --> 00:50:00,774
OKAY, NOW YOU CAN HOLD THE DECK.
HERE, YOU HOLD THE DECK.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHEN I SAY GO, I
1370
00:50:00,798 --> 00:50:01,942
HERE, YOU HOLD THE DECK.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHEN I SAY GO, I
WANT YOU TO LEAD THE
1371
00:50:01,966 --> 00:50:03,510
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHEN I SAY GO, I
WANT YOU TO LEAD THE
CONGREGATION IN SAYING, "YES,
1372
00:50:03,534 --> 00:50:04,744
WANT YOU TO LEAD THE
CONGREGATION IN SAYING, "YES,
THE SPIRITS CAN TALK."
1373
00:50:04,768 --> 00:50:06,080
CONGREGATION IN SAYING, "YES,
THE SPIRITS CAN TALK."
WILL YOU DO THAT FOR ME, GARY?
1374
00:50:06,104 --> 00:50:06,513
THE SPIRITS CAN TALK."
WILL YOU DO THAT FOR ME, GARY?
OKAY.
1375
00:50:06,537 --> 00:50:07,714
WILL YOU DO THAT FOR ME, GARY?
OKAY.
MRS. GILSRACK, HAVE YOU STILL
1376
00:50:07,738 --> 00:50:08,282
OKAY.
MRS. GILSRACK, HAVE YOU STILL
GOT THE CARD?
1377
00:50:08,306 --> 00:50:08,849
MRS. GILSRACK, HAVE YOU STILL
GOT THE CARD?
YES, I...
1378
00:50:08,873 --> 00:50:09,649
GOT THE CARD?
YES, I...
FABULOUS.
1379
00:50:09,673 --> 00:50:11,318
YES, I...
FABULOUS.
OKAY, GARY, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO?
1380
00:50:11,342 --> 00:50:12,319
FABULOUS.
OKAY, GARY, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO?
TERRIFIC. OKAY.
1381
00:50:12,343 --> 00:50:13,187
OKAY, GARY, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO?
TERRIFIC. OKAY.
ARE YOU READY?
1382
00:50:13,211 --> 00:50:13,854
TERRIFIC. OKAY.
ARE YOU READY?
GARY.
1383
00:50:13,878 --> 00:50:16,223
ARE YOU READY?
GARY.
YES, THE SPIRITS CAN TALK.
1384
00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:17,557
GARY.
YES, THE SPIRITS CAN TALK.
COME ON... EVERYBODY NOW.
1385
00:50:17,581 --> 00:50:18,625
YES, THE SPIRITS CAN TALK.
COME ON... EVERYBODY NOW.
COME ON.
1386
00:50:18,649 --> 00:50:19,326
COME ON... EVERYBODY NOW.
COME ON.
OH, COME ON!
1387
00:50:19,350 --> 00:50:20,827
COME ON.
OH, COME ON!
YOU COULDN'T RAISE A FLAG, LET
1388
00:50:20,851 --> 00:50:21,661
OH, COME ON!
YOU COULDN'T RAISE A FLAG, LET
ALONE THE DEAD!
1389
00:50:21,685 --> 00:50:22,662
YOU COULDN'T RAISE A FLAG, LET
ALONE THE DEAD!
NOW, COME ON! LET'S HEAR IT!
1390
00:50:22,686 --> 00:50:23,763
ALONE THE DEAD!
NOW, COME ON! LET'S HEAR IT!
THE SPIRITS CAN TALK!
1391
00:50:23,787 --> 00:50:25,366
NOW, COME ON! LET'S HEAR IT!
THE SPIRITS CAN TALK!
ALL RIGHT, NOW, JONATHAN, WHAT'S
1392
00:50:25,390 --> 00:50:26,100
THE SPIRITS CAN TALK!
ALL RIGHT, NOW, JONATHAN, WHAT'S
THE CARD?
1393
00:50:26,124 --> 00:50:27,601
ALL RIGHT, NOW, JONATHAN, WHAT'S
THE CARD?
WHAT?
1394
00:50:27,625 --> 00:50:28,835
THE CARD?
WHAT?
HE SAYS HE LOVES THE SERVICE!
1395
00:50:28,859 --> 00:50:29,936
WHAT?
HE SAYS HE LOVES THE SERVICE!
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?
1396
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:30,704
HE SAYS HE LOVES THE SERVICE!
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?
GET OUT OF HERE!
1397
00:50:30,728 --> 00:50:32,439
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?
GET OUT OF HERE!
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
1398
00:50:32,463 --> 00:50:33,940
GET OUT OF HERE!
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
HE WON'T TELL ME!
1399
00:50:33,964 --> 00:50:34,608
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
HE WON'T TELL ME!
JONATHAN!
1400
00:50:34,632 --> 00:50:36,043
HE WON'T TELL ME!
JONATHAN!
TELL ME WHAT THE CARD IS!
1401
00:50:36,067 --> 00:50:37,611
JONATHAN!
TELL ME WHAT THE CARD IS!
TELL HIM, JONATHAN!
1402
00:50:37,635 --> 00:50:39,046
TELL ME WHAT THE CARD IS!
TELL HIM, JONATHAN!
WHAT?
1403
00:50:39,070 --> 00:50:40,080
TELL HIM, JONATHAN!
WHAT?
ALL RIGHT, JONATHAN.
1404
00:50:40,104 --> 00:50:41,848
WHAT?
ALL RIGHT, JONATHAN.
JONATHAN HAS TOLD ME THAT YOUR
1405
00:50:41,872 --> 00:50:44,351
ALL RIGHT, JONATHAN.
JONATHAN HAS TOLD ME THAT YOUR
CARD IS THE 9 OF DIAMONDS.
1406
00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:46,253
JONATHAN HAS TOLD ME THAT YOUR
CARD IS THE 9 OF DIAMONDS.
IS THAT CORRECT?
1407
00:50:46,277 --> 00:50:47,254
CARD IS THE 9 OF DIAMONDS.
IS THAT CORRECT?
THE 9 OF DIAMONDS.
1408
00:50:47,278 --> 00:50:50,090
IS THAT CORRECT?
THE 9 OF DIAMONDS.
NO, IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES.
1409
00:50:50,114 --> 00:50:51,225
THE 9 OF DIAMONDS.
NO, IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES.
WHAT?
1410
00:50:51,249 --> 00:50:53,727
NO, IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES.
WHAT?
IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES.
1411
00:50:53,751 --> 00:50:54,395
WHAT?
IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES.
[SIGHS]
1412
00:50:54,419 --> 00:50:55,795
IT'S THE 7 OF SPADES.
[SIGHS]
A MISERABLE MISTAKE.
1413
00:50:55,819 --> 00:50:58,132
[SIGHS]
A MISERABLE MISTAKE.
WELL, I GUESS THE DEAD STAY
1414
00:50:58,156 --> 00:51:00,167
A MISERABLE MISTAKE.
WELL, I GUESS THE DEAD STAY
WHERE THEY ARE... DEAD.
1415
00:51:00,191 --> 00:51:01,168
WELL, I GUESS THE DEAD STAY
WHERE THEY ARE... DEAD.
[CRYING]
1416
00:51:01,192 --> 00:51:02,169
WHERE THEY ARE... DEAD.
[CRYING]
NO, WAIT.
1417
00:51:02,193 --> 00:51:03,170
[CRYING]
NO, WAIT.
WHAT'S THAT?
1418
00:51:03,194 --> 00:51:04,871
NO, WAIT.
WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT DO YOU SAY, JONATHAN?
1419
00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:05,605
WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT DO YOU SAY, JONATHAN?
WHAT?!
1420
00:51:05,629 --> 00:51:07,474
WHAT DO YOU SAY, JONATHAN?
WHAT?!
LOOK IN HIS POCKET?
1421
00:51:07,498 --> 00:51:09,476
WHAT?!
LOOK IN HIS POCKET?
WELL, ALL RIGHT, IF YOU SAY SO.
1422
00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:11,645
LOOK IN HIS POCKET?
WELL, ALL RIGHT, IF YOU SAY SO.
THE 7 OF SPADES, EVERYBODY!
1423
00:51:11,669 --> 00:51:12,846
WELL, ALL RIGHT, IF YOU SAY SO.
THE 7 OF SPADES, EVERYBODY!
COME ON.
1424
00:51:12,870 --> 00:51:14,481
THE 7 OF SPADES, EVERYBODY!
COME ON.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
1425
00:51:14,505 --> 00:51:15,649
COME ON.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THANKS FOR... WEREN'T THEY
1426
00:51:15,673 --> 00:51:16,750
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THANKS FOR... WEREN'T THEY
TERRIFIC FOR HELPING?
1427
00:51:16,774 --> 00:51:17,984
THANKS FOR... WEREN'T THEY
TERRIFIC FOR HELPING?
GARY, YOU WERE TERRIFIC FOR
1428
00:51:18,008 --> 00:51:18,785
TERRIFIC FOR HELPING?
GARY, YOU WERE TERRIFIC FOR
HELPING OUT.
1429
00:51:18,809 --> 00:51:19,486
GARY, YOU WERE TERRIFIC FOR
HELPING OUT.
TERRIFIC.
1430
00:51:19,510 --> 00:51:20,620
HELPING OUT.
TERRIFIC.
I'M GONNA NEED THIS DECK.
1431
00:51:20,644 --> 00:51:21,288
TERRIFIC.
I'M GONNA NEED THIS DECK.
THANK YOU.
1432
00:51:21,312 --> 00:51:22,189
I'M GONNA NEED THIS DECK.
THANK YOU.
TERRIFIC.
1433
00:51:22,213 --> 00:51:23,690
THANK YOU.
TERRIFIC.
NOW, MY NEXT TRICK IS A SPECIAL
1434
00:51:23,714 --> 00:51:25,059
TERRIFIC.
NOW, MY NEXT TRICK IS A SPECIAL
TRIBUTE TO THE DECEASED AND,
1435
00:51:25,083 --> 00:51:26,527
NOW, MY NEXT TRICK IS A SPECIAL
TRIBUTE TO THE DECEASED AND,
FOR THAT, I'M GONNA BRING BACK
1436
00:51:26,551 --> 00:51:27,827
TRIBUTE TO THE DECEASED AND,
FOR THAT, I'M GONNA BRING BACK
MR. JOHN HOLSE.
1437
00:51:27,851 --> 00:51:29,263
FOR THAT, I'M GONNA BRING BACK
MR. JOHN HOLSE.
JOHN?
1438
00:51:29,287 --> 00:51:31,365
MR. JOHN HOLSE.
JOHN?
NOW, AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS CASKET
1439
00:51:31,389 --> 00:51:33,300
JOHN?
NOW, AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS CASKET
IS A SOLID WOOD CASKET WITH NO
1440
00:51:33,324 --> 00:51:34,268
NOW, AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS CASKET
IS A SOLID WOOD CASKET WITH NO
TRAP DOORS.
1441
00:51:34,292 --> 00:51:35,269
IS A SOLID WOOD CASKET WITH NO
TRAP DOORS.
TELL THEM ABOUT IT, JOHN, WOULD
1442
00:51:35,293 --> 00:51:35,735
TRAP DOORS.
TELL THEM ABOUT IT, JOHN, WOULD
YOU, PLEASE?
1443
00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:36,703
TELL THEM ABOUT IT, JOHN, WOULD
YOU, PLEASE?
HE'S LYING IN A
1444
00:51:36,727 --> 00:51:38,205
YOU, PLEASE?
HE'S LYING IN A
HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR'S EXCLUSIVE
1445
00:51:38,229 --> 00:51:39,673
HE'S LYING IN A
HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR'S EXCLUSIVE
DRY WEIGHT EARTHMASTER CASKET.
1446
00:51:39,697 --> 00:51:41,075
HOLSE AND PLAYFAIR'S EXCLUSIVE
DRY WEIGHT EARTHMASTER CASKET.
IT'S A FULL MAHOGANY BOX WITH A
1447
00:51:41,099 --> 00:51:42,509
DRY WEIGHT EARTHMASTER CASKET.
IT'S A FULL MAHOGANY BOX WITH A
FLANNEL COVERING AND THREE FULL
1448
00:51:42,533 --> 00:51:43,877
IT'S A FULL MAHOGANY BOX WITH A
FLANNEL COVERING AND THREE FULL
INCHES OF VINYL TEFLAC SEALANT
1449
00:51:43,901 --> 00:51:45,312
FLANNEL COVERING AND THREE FULL
INCHES OF VINYL TEFLAC SEALANT
TO PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES FROM
1450
00:51:45,336 --> 00:51:46,480
INCHES OF VINYL TEFLAC SEALANT
TO PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES FROM
WEATHERING, MOISTURE, AND
1451
00:51:46,504 --> 00:51:47,981
TO PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES FROM
WEATHERING, MOISTURE, AND
INSECTS FOR 99 YEARS.
1452
00:51:48,005 --> 00:51:49,516
WEATHERING, MOISTURE, AND
INSECTS FOR 99 YEARS.
ANOTHER THICK, STRONG CASKET
1453
00:51:49,540 --> 00:51:51,318
INSECTS FOR 99 YEARS.
ANOTHER THICK, STRONG CASKET
FROM THE PEOPLE AT EARTHMASTER.
1454
00:51:51,342 --> 00:51:52,486
ANOTHER THICK, STRONG CASKET
FROM THE PEOPLE AT EARTHMASTER.
OKAY, EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN
1455
00:51:52,510 --> 00:51:53,387
FROM THE PEOPLE AT EARTHMASTER.
OKAY, EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN
THERE, JONATHAN?
1456
00:51:53,411 --> 00:51:54,421
OKAY, EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN
THERE, JONATHAN?
"S'ALRIGHT!"
1457
00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:55,789
THERE, JONATHAN?
"S'ALRIGHT!"
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU NUT!
1458
00:51:55,813 --> 00:51:57,924
"S'ALRIGHT!"
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU NUT!
OKAY, NOW THIS IS A TRICK FIRST
1459
00:51:57,948 --> 00:51:59,960
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU NUT!
OKAY, NOW THIS IS A TRICK FIRST
DESIGNED BY THE FAMOUS FRENCH
1460
00:51:59,984 --> 00:52:02,129
OKAY, NOW THIS IS A TRICK FIRST
DESIGNED BY THE FAMOUS FRENCH
PSYCHOLOGIST, DR. EMILE QUAY.
1461
00:52:02,153 --> 00:52:04,030
DESIGNED BY THE FAMOUS FRENCH
PSYCHOLOGIST, DR. EMILE QUAY.
THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS ONCE QUOTED
1462
00:52:04,054 --> 00:52:06,467
PSYCHOLOGIST, DR. EMILE QUAY.
THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS ONCE QUOTED
AS SAYING, "DEAD MEN FEEL NO
1463
00:52:06,491 --> 00:52:10,270
THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS ONCE QUOTED
AS SAYING, "DEAD MEN FEEL NO
PAIN."
1464
00:52:10,294 --> 00:52:12,672
AS SAYING, "DEAD MEN FEEL NO
PAIN."
LET'S HOPE THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS
1465
00:52:12,696 --> 00:52:13,240
PAIN."
LET'S HOPE THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS
RIGHT.
1466
00:52:13,264 --> 00:52:14,708
LET'S HOPE THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS
RIGHT.
[SUSPENSEFUL ORGAN MUSIC
1467
00:52:14,732 --> 00:52:17,911
RIGHT.
[SUSPENSEFUL ORGAN MUSIC
PLAYS]
1468
00:52:17,935 --> 00:52:20,514
[SUSPENSEFUL ORGAN MUSIC
PLAYS]
[GASPS]
1469
00:52:20,538 --> 00:52:22,471
[PLAYS]
[GASPS]
OH, MY GOD!
1470
00:52:32,149 --> 00:52:40,149
[GRUNTING]
[APPLAUSE]
NOW THE HARD PART!
1471
00:52:49,366 --> 00:52:54,047
DON'T BLINK YOUR EYES OR YOU'LL
MISS JONATHAN GILSRACK!
1, 2, 3!
1472
00:52:54,071 --> 00:52:55,849
MISS JONATHAN GILSRACK!
1, 2, 3!
THERE HE IS!
1473
00:52:55,873 --> 00:52:58,285
1, 2, 3!
THERE HE IS!
[APPLAUSE]
1474
00:52:58,309 --> 00:52:59,085
THERE HE IS!
[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU.
1475
00:52:59,109 --> 00:53:00,420
[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU.
THAT DIDN'T HURT A BIT, DID IT,
1476
00:53:00,444 --> 00:53:00,920
THANK YOU.
THAT DIDN'T HURT A BIT, DID IT,
JONATHAN?
1477
00:53:00,944 --> 00:53:02,122
THAT DIDN'T HURT A BIT, DID IT,
JONATHAN?
HE'S A GOOD SPORT, ISN'T HE?
1478
00:53:02,146 --> 00:53:03,123
JONATHAN?
HE'S A GOOD SPORT, ISN'T HE?
HE'S TERRIFIC.
1479
00:53:03,147 --> 00:53:04,358
HE'S A GOOD SPORT, ISN'T HE?
HE'S TERRIFIC.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1480
00:53:04,382 --> 00:53:05,359
HE'S TERRIFIC.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
JOHN HOLSE, LADIES AND
1481
00:53:05,383 --> 00:53:05,925
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
JOHN HOLSE, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
1482
00:53:05,949 --> 00:53:06,493
JOHN HOLSE, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
THANK YOU.
1483
00:53:06,517 --> 00:53:10,864
GENTLEMEN.
THANK YOU.
[APPLAUSE]
1484
00:53:10,888 --> 00:53:12,132
THANK YOU.
[APPLAUSE]
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1485
00:53:12,156 --> 00:53:14,100
[APPLAUSE]
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I HOPE YOU HAD A LITTLE BIT OF
1486
00:53:14,124 --> 00:53:15,935
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I HOPE YOU HAD A LITTLE BIT OF
SUNSHINE PUT INTO YOUR DAY.
1487
00:53:15,959 --> 00:53:17,404
I HOPE YOU HAD A LITTLE BIT OF
SUNSHINE PUT INTO YOUR DAY.
LOOK, WHEN YOU'RE LEAVING, DRIVE
1488
00:53:17,428 --> 00:53:18,872
SUNSHINE PUT INTO YOUR DAY.
LOOK, WHEN YOU'RE LEAVING, DRIVE
CAREFULLY, AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE
1489
00:53:18,896 --> 00:53:20,340
LOOK, WHEN YOU'RE LEAVING, DRIVE
CAREFULLY, AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE
A CAR AND YOU'RE WALKING, WATCH
1490
00:53:20,364 --> 00:53:21,241
CAREFULLY, AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE
A CAR AND YOU'RE WALKING, WATCH
OUT FOR THE RAIN.
1491
00:53:21,265 --> 00:53:23,043
A CAR AND YOU'RE WALKING, WATCH
OUT FOR THE RAIN.
BUT JUST REMEMBER THAT...
1492
00:53:23,067 --> 00:53:24,711
OUT FOR THE RAIN.
BUT JUST REMEMBER THAT...
♪ GRAY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR
1493
00:53:24,735 --> 00:53:25,546
BUT JUST REMEMBER THAT...
♪ GRAY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR
UP ♪
1494
00:53:25,570 --> 00:53:26,913
♪ GRAY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR
UP ♪
COME ON, YOU KNOW THE WORDS.
1495
00:53:26,937 --> 00:53:28,615
UP ♪
COME ON, YOU KNOW THE WORDS.
♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪
1496
00:53:28,639 --> 00:53:30,217
COME ON, YOU KNOW THE WORDS.
♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪
YOU KNOW THE WORDS, GARY!
1497
00:53:30,241 --> 00:53:32,252
♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪
YOU KNOW THE WORDS, GARY!
♪ WIPE OFF THAT FROWN AND CHEER
1498
00:53:32,276 --> 00:53:33,253
YOU KNOW THE WORDS, GARY!
♪ WIPE OFF THAT FROWN AND CHEER
UP ♪
1499
00:53:33,277 --> 00:53:36,323
♪ WIPE OFF THAT FROWN AND CHEER
UP ♪
♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪
1500
00:53:36,347 --> 00:53:41,295
UP ♪
♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪
♪ AND SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER
1501
00:53:41,319 --> 00:53:42,162
♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪
♪ AND SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER
THE PLACE ♪
1502
00:53:42,186 --> 00:53:43,297
♪ AND SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER
THE PLACE ♪
COME ON, JOHNNY!
1503
00:53:43,321 --> 00:53:48,023
THE PLACE ♪
COME ON, JOHNNY!
♪ JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪
1504
00:53:59,703 --> 00:54:04,084
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
ANDY KAUFMAN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1505
00:54:04,108 --> 00:54:06,348
ANDY KAUFMAN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
1506
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:31,960
♪ O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-K-
LAHOMA, WHERE THE WIND COMES
SWEEPING DOWN THE PLAIN ♪
1507
00:54:32,002 --> 00:54:34,381
LAHOMA, WHERE THE WIND COMES
SWEEPING DOWN THE PLAIN ♪
♪ AND THE WAVING WHEAT
1508
00:54:34,405 --> 00:54:36,250
SWEEPING DOWN THE PLAIN ♪
♪ AND THE WAVING WHEAT
CAN SURE SMELL SWEET ♪
1509
00:54:36,274 --> 00:54:38,485
♪ AND THE WAVING WHEAT
CAN SURE SMELL SWEET ♪
♪ AS THE WIND COMES RIGHT BEHIND
1510
00:54:38,509 --> 00:54:40,520
CAN SURE SMELL SWEET ♪
♪ AS THE WIND COMES RIGHT BEHIND
THE RAIN ♪
1511
00:54:40,544 --> 00:54:43,290
♪ AS THE WIND COMES RIGHT BEHIND
THE RAIN ♪
♪ O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-K-
1512
00:54:43,314 --> 00:54:46,126
THE RAIN ♪
♪ O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-K-
LAHOMA, EVERY NIGHT MY HONEY
1513
00:54:46,150 --> 00:54:47,994
♪ O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-K-
LAHOMA, EVERY NIGHT MY HONEY
LAMB AND I ♪
1514
00:54:48,018 --> 00:54:50,230
LAHOMA, EVERY NIGHT MY HONEY
LAMB AND I ♪
♪ SIT ALONE AND TALK
1515
00:54:50,254 --> 00:54:52,031
LAMB AND I ♪
♪ SIT ALONE AND TALK
AND WATCH A HAWK ♪
1516
00:54:52,055 --> 00:54:54,434
♪ SIT ALONE AND TALK
AND WATCH A HAWK ♪
♪ MAKIN' LAZY CIRCLES IN THE
1517
00:54:54,458 --> 00:54:55,902
AND WATCH A HAWK ♪
♪ MAKIN' LAZY CIRCLES IN THE
SKY ♪
1518
00:54:55,926 --> 00:54:58,472
♪ MAKIN' LAZY CIRCLES IN THE
SKY ♪
♪ WE KNOW WE BELONG TO THE
1519
00:54:58,496 --> 00:54:59,839
SKY ♪
♪ WE KNOW WE BELONG TO THE
LAND ♪
1520
00:54:59,863 --> 00:55:02,142
♪ WE KNOW WE BELONG TO THE
LAND ♪
♪ AND THE LAND WE BELONG TO
1521
00:55:02,166 --> 00:55:03,510
LAND ♪
♪ AND THE LAND WE BELONG TO
IS GRAND ♪
1522
00:55:03,534 --> 00:55:06,012
♪ AND THE LAND WE BELONG TO
IS GRAND ♪
♪ SO WHEN WE SAY
1523
00:55:06,036 --> 00:55:09,949
IS GRAND ♪
♪ SO WHEN WE SAY
YEEOW! AYIPIOEEAY! ♪
1524
00:55:09,973 --> 00:55:10,684
♪ SO WHEN WE SAY
YEEOW! AYIPIOEEAY! ♪
HO!
1525
00:55:10,708 --> 00:55:12,719
YEEOW! AYIPIOEEAY! ♪
HO!
♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN'
1526
00:55:12,743 --> 00:55:15,088
HO!
♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN'
FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪
1527
00:55:15,112 --> 00:55:16,990
♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN'
FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪
♪ OKLAHOMA ♪
1528
00:55:17,014 --> 00:55:19,359
FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪
♪ OKLAHOMA ♪
♪ O.K. ♪
1529
00:55:19,383 --> 00:55:21,317
♪ OKLAHOMA ♪
♪ O.K. ♪
[INSTRUMENTAL SOLO]
1530
00:55:34,731 --> 00:55:42,731
♪ SAY YEEOW! AYIPIOEEAY! ♪
HO!
♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN'
1531
00:55:42,873 --> 00:55:45,218
HO!
♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN'
FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪
1532
00:55:45,242 --> 00:55:47,120
♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN' YOU'RE DOIN'
FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪
♪ OKLAHOMA ♪
1533
00:55:47,144 --> 00:55:50,824
FINE, OKLAHOMA ♪
♪ OKLAHOMA ♪
♪ O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A ♪
1534
00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:54,027
♪ OKLAHOMA ♪
♪ O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A ♪
♪ OKLAHO-O-O-O-O-O-MA! ♪
1535
00:55:54,051 --> 00:55:54,894
♪ O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A ♪
♪ OKLAHO-O-O-O-O-O-MA! ♪
YO!
1536
00:55:54,918 --> 00:55:56,852
♪ OKLAHO-O-O-O-O-O-MA! ♪
YO!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1537
00:56:06,929 --> 00:56:14,929
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[PIANO PLAYS]
♪ OH, THE COW GOES MOO ♪
1538
00:56:21,144 --> 00:56:23,590
[PIANO PLAYS]
♪ OH, THE COW GOES MOO ♪
♪ AND THE BIRD GOES TWEET ♪
1539
00:56:23,614 --> 00:56:26,360
♪ OH, THE COW GOES MOO ♪
♪ AND THE BIRD GOES TWEET ♪
♪ AND THE DOG GOES WOOF ♪
1540
00:56:26,384 --> 00:56:28,895
♪ AND THE BIRD GOES TWEET ♪
♪ AND THE DOG GOES WOOF ♪
♪ AND THE CAT GOES MEOW ♪
1541
00:56:28,919 --> 00:56:31,698
♪ AND THE DOG GOES WOOF ♪
♪ AND THE CAT GOES MEOW ♪
♪ AND THE PIG GOES OINK ♪
1542
00:56:31,722 --> 00:56:34,768
♪ AND THE CAT GOES MEOW ♪
♪ AND THE PIG GOES OINK ♪
♪ AND THE LION GOES ROAR! ♪
1543
00:56:34,792 --> 00:56:39,973
♪ AND THE PIG GOES OINK ♪
♪ AND THE LION GOES ROAR! ♪
♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES ♪
1544
00:56:39,997 --> 00:56:41,508
♪ AND THE LION GOES ROAR! ♪
♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES ♪
SAY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
1545
00:56:41,532 --> 00:56:43,076
♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES ♪
SAY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
LET'S ALL SING THE SONG
1546
00:56:43,100 --> 00:56:45,211
SAY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
LET'S ALL SING THE SONG
TOGETHER, OKAY?
1547
00:56:45,235 --> 00:56:47,046
LET'S ALL SING THE SONG
TOGETHER, OKAY?
OKAY?
1548
00:56:47,070 --> 00:56:48,281
TOGETHER, OKAY?
OKAY?
EVERY TIME I SAY "OKAY,"
1549
00:56:48,305 --> 00:56:50,417
OKAY?
EVERY TIME I SAY "OKAY,"
EVERYBODY SAY, "OKAY."
1550
00:56:50,441 --> 00:56:51,518
EVERY TIME I SAY "OKAY,"
EVERYBODY SAY, "OKAY."
OKAY?
1551
00:56:51,542 --> 00:56:52,586
EVERYBODY SAY, "OKAY."
OKAY?
All: OKAY!
1552
00:56:52,610 --> 00:56:53,687
OKAY?
All: OKAY!
OKAY.
1553
00:56:53,711 --> 00:56:55,154
All: OKAY!
OKAY.
All: OKAY.
1554
00:56:55,178 --> 00:56:56,089
OKAY.
All: OKAY.
OKAY.
1555
00:56:56,113 --> 00:56:58,425
All: OKAY.
OKAY.
All: OKAY.
1556
00:56:58,449 --> 00:56:59,125
OKAY.
All: OKAY.
OKAY.
1557
00:56:59,149 --> 00:57:00,494
All: OKAY.
OKAY.
All: OKAY.
1558
00:57:00,518 --> 00:57:01,695
OKAY.
All: OKAY.
OKAY, NOW WHEN...
1559
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:03,864
All: OKAY.
OKAY, NOW WHEN...
All: OKAY.
1560
00:57:03,888 --> 00:57:04,798
OKAY, NOW WHEN...
All: OKAY.
OKAY.
1561
00:57:04,822 --> 00:57:06,400
All: OKAY.
OKAY.
All: OKAY.
1562
00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:07,734
OKAY.
All: OKAY.
OH, OKAY.
1563
00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:09,202
All: OKAY.
OH, OKAY.
All: OKAY.
1564
00:57:09,226 --> 00:57:11,037
OH, OKAY.
All: OKAY.
NOW, WHEN WE GET TO THE LION,
1565
00:57:11,061 --> 00:57:13,139
All: OKAY.
NOW, WHEN WE GET TO THE LION,
EVERYBODY SAY, "ROAR!" REAL,
1566
00:57:13,163 --> 00:57:14,173
NOW, WHEN WE GET TO THE LION,
EVERYBODY SAY, "ROAR!" REAL,
REAL LOUD.
1567
00:57:14,197 --> 00:57:15,409
EVERYBODY SAY, "ROAR!" REAL,
REAL LOUD.
LET'S TRY IT.
1568
00:57:15,433 --> 00:57:18,011
REAL LOUD.
LET'S TRY IT.
1, 2, 3.
1569
00:57:18,035 --> 00:57:19,379
LET'S TRY IT.
1, 2, 3.
All: [Weakly] ROAR!
1570
00:57:19,403 --> 00:57:20,647
1, 2, 3.
All: [Weakly] ROAR!
OH, COME ON, NOW.
1571
00:57:20,671 --> 00:57:22,015
All: [Weakly] ROAR!
OH, COME ON, NOW.
YOU COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT.
1572
00:57:22,039 --> 00:57:24,384
OH, COME ON, NOW.
YOU COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT.
1, 2, 3!
1573
00:57:24,408 --> 00:57:26,420
YOU COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT.
1, 2, 3!
All: ROAR!
1574
00:57:26,444 --> 00:57:28,054
1, 2, 3!
All: ROAR!
VERY GOOD.
1575
00:57:28,078 --> 00:57:29,756
All: ROAR!
VERY GOOD.
AND WE'LL ALL SING
1576
00:57:29,780 --> 00:57:32,225
VERY GOOD.
AND WE'LL ALL SING
"AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES"
1577
00:57:32,249 --> 00:57:34,027
AND WE'LL ALL SING
"AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES"
TOGETHER, OKAY?
1578
00:57:34,051 --> 00:57:35,194
"AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES"
TOGETHER, OKAY?
All: OKAY.
1579
00:57:35,218 --> 00:57:36,029
TOGETHER, OKAY?
All: OKAY.
OKAY.
1580
00:57:36,053 --> 00:57:38,932
All: OKAY.
OKAY.
All: OKAY.
1581
00:57:38,956 --> 00:57:43,837
OKAY.
All: OKAY.
[PIANO PLAYS]
1582
00:57:43,861 --> 00:57:47,040
All: OKAY.
[PIANO PLAYS]
♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪
1583
00:57:47,064 --> 00:57:48,542
[PIANO PLAYS]
♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪
All: [Weakly] MOO.
1584
00:57:48,566 --> 00:57:49,843
♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪
All: [Weakly] MOO.
OH, COME ON, NOW.
1585
00:57:49,867 --> 00:57:51,411
All: [Weakly] MOO.
OH, COME ON, NOW.
OH... COME ON, EVERYBODY!
1586
00:57:51,435 --> 00:57:53,413
OH, COME ON, NOW.
OH... COME ON, EVERYBODY!
♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪
1587
00:57:53,437 --> 00:57:54,481
OH... COME ON, EVERYBODY!
♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪
All: MOO!
1588
00:57:54,505 --> 00:57:56,483
♪ OH, THE COW GOES... ♪
All: MOO!
♪ AND THE DOG GOES... ♪
1589
00:57:56,507 --> 00:57:57,484
All: MOO!
♪ AND THE DOG GOES... ♪
All: WOOF!
1590
00:57:57,508 --> 00:57:59,619
♪ AND THE DOG GOES... ♪
All: WOOF!
♪ AND THE CAT GOES... ♪
1591
00:57:59,643 --> 00:58:00,620
All: WOOF!
♪ AND THE CAT GOES... ♪
All: MEOW!
1592
00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:02,756
♪ AND THE CAT GOES... ♪
All: MEOW!
♪ AND THE BIRD GOES... ♪
1593
00:58:02,780 --> 00:58:03,790
All: MEOW!
♪ AND THE BIRD GOES... ♪
All: TWEET!
1594
00:58:03,814 --> 00:58:05,926
♪ AND THE BIRD GOES... ♪
All: TWEET!
♪ AND THE PIG GOES... ♪
1595
00:58:05,950 --> 00:58:06,860
All: TWEET!
♪ AND THE PIG GOES... ♪
All: OINK!
1596
00:58:06,884 --> 00:58:09,195
♪ AND THE PIG GOES... ♪
All: OINK!
♪ AND THE LION GOES... ♪
1597
00:58:09,219 --> 00:58:10,897
All: OINK!
♪ AND THE LION GOES... ♪
All: ROAR!
1598
00:58:10,921 --> 00:58:13,934
♪ AND THE LION GOES... ♪
All: ROAR!
♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT
1599
00:58:13,958 --> 00:58:16,903
All: ROAR!
♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT
GOES ♪
1600
00:58:16,927 --> 00:58:23,643
♪ AND THAT'S THE WAY IT
GOES ♪
[APPLAUSE]
1601
00:58:23,667 --> 00:58:29,749
GOES ♪
[APPLAUSE]
[UP-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
1602
00:58:29,773 --> 00:58:31,707
[APPLAUSE]
[UP-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
[CHEERING]
1603
00:59:23,793 --> 00:59:27,841
♪ OH, OH ♪
♪ I LOVE YOU SO ♪
♪ OH, OH ♪
1604
00:59:27,865 --> 00:59:29,275
♪ I LOVE YOU SO ♪
♪ OH, OH ♪
♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪
1605
00:59:29,299 --> 00:59:30,577
♪ OH, OH ♪
♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪
♪ OOH, OOH ♪
1606
00:59:30,601 --> 00:59:32,311
♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪
♪ OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪
1607
00:59:32,335 --> 00:59:34,681
♪ OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
1608
00:59:34,705 --> 00:59:36,449
♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ OH, GEE,
1609
00:59:36,473 --> 00:59:37,483
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ OH, GEE,
THE WAY YOU KISS ♪
1610
00:59:37,507 --> 00:59:38,985
♪ OH, GEE,
THE WAY YOU KISS ♪
♪ SWEETIE,
1611
00:59:39,009 --> 00:59:40,319
THE WAY YOU KISS ♪
♪ SWEETIE,
TOO GOOD TO MISS ♪
1612
00:59:40,343 --> 00:59:41,621
♪ SWEETIE,
TOO GOOD TO MISS ♪
♪ WOW-WHEE,
1613
00:59:41,645 --> 00:59:43,356
TOO GOOD TO MISS ♪
♪ WOW-WHEE,
I WANT MORE OF THIS ♪
1614
00:59:43,380 --> 00:59:46,192
♪ WOW-WHEE,
I WANT MORE OF THIS ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
1615
00:59:46,216 --> 00:59:48,028
I WANT MORE OF THIS ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING JUST FOR
1616
00:59:48,052 --> 00:59:49,062
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING JUST FOR
TONIGHT ♪
1617
00:59:49,086 --> 00:59:50,931
♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING JUST FOR
TONIGHT ♪
♪ TO DO SOME LOVIN' AND HOLD YOU
1618
00:59:50,955 --> 00:59:51,765
TONIGHT ♪
♪ TO DO SOME LOVIN' AND HOLD YOU
TIGHT ♪
1619
00:59:51,789 --> 00:59:53,833
♪ TO DO SOME LOVIN' AND HOLD YOU
TIGHT ♪
♪ DON'T TELL ME, BABY, YOU GOTTA
1620
00:59:53,857 --> 00:59:54,267
TIGHT ♪
♪ DON'T TELL ME, BABY, YOU GOTTA
GO ♪
1621
00:59:54,291 --> 00:59:56,036
♪ DON'T TELL ME, BABY, YOU GOTTA
GO ♪
♪ I GOT THE HI-FI HIGH AND THE
1622
00:59:56,060 --> 00:59:57,303
GO ♪
♪ I GOT THE HI-FI HIGH AND THE
LIGHTS DOWN LOW ♪
1623
00:59:57,327 --> 00:59:58,672
♪ I GOT THE HI-FI HIGH AND THE
LIGHTS DOWN LOW ♪
♪ HEY, NOW,
1624
00:59:58,696 --> 00:59:59,973
LIGHTS DOWN LOW ♪
♪ HEY, NOW,
HEAR WHAT I SAY ♪
1625
00:59:59,997 --> 01:00:01,441
♪ HEY, NOW,
HEAR WHAT I SAY ♪
♪ OH, WOW,
1626
01:00:01,465 --> 01:00:02,709
HEAR WHAT I SAY ♪
♪ OH, WOW,
YOU BETTER STAY ♪
1627
01:00:02,733 --> 01:00:04,077
♪ OH, WOW,
YOU BETTER STAY ♪
♪ POW POW,
1628
01:00:04,101 --> 01:00:05,712
YOU BETTER STAY ♪
♪ POW POW,
DON'T RUN AWAY ♪
1629
01:00:05,736 --> 01:00:07,614
♪ POW POW,
DON'T RUN AWAY ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
1630
01:00:07,638 --> 01:00:08,414
DON'T RUN AWAY ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
ALL RIGHT!
1631
01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:16,438
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
ALL RIGHT!
[GUITAR SOLO]
1632
01:00:16,647 --> 01:00:19,292
ALL RIGHT!
[GUITAR SOLO]
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
1633
01:00:19,316 --> 01:00:20,660
[GUITAR SOLO]
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ OH, OH ♪
1634
01:00:20,684 --> 01:00:22,028
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ OH, OH ♪
♪ I LOVE YOU SO ♪
1635
01:00:22,052 --> 01:00:23,496
♪ OH, OH ♪
♪ I LOVE YOU SO ♪
♪ OH, OH ♪
1636
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:24,931
♪ I LOVE YOU SO ♪
♪ OH, OH ♪
♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪
1637
01:00:24,955 --> 01:00:26,232
♪ OH, OH ♪
♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪
♪ OOH, OOH ♪
1638
01:00:26,256 --> 01:00:27,968
♪ I CAN'T LET YOU GO ♪
♪ OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪
1639
01:00:27,992 --> 01:00:30,704
♪ OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
1640
01:00:30,728 --> 01:00:33,473
♪ DON'T TELL ME NO ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
1641
01:00:33,497 --> 01:00:35,842
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
1642
01:00:35,866 --> 01:00:41,314
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
1643
01:00:41,338 --> 01:00:44,418
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TONIGHT ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1644
01:00:57,486 --> 01:01:05,338
[COUGHING, LAUGHING]
LARRY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE AT THE
1645
01:01:05,362 --> 01:01:06,239
LARRY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE AT THE
PLAYBOY CLUB.
1646
01:01:06,263 --> 01:01:08,174
WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE AT THE
PLAYBOY CLUB.
I MEAN, IF YOU WANTED TO MAKE
1647
01:01:08,198 --> 01:01:10,309
PLAYBOY CLUB.
I MEAN, IF YOU WANTED TO MAKE
LOVE, ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK.
1648
01:01:10,333 --> 01:01:12,045
I MEAN, IF YOU WANTED TO MAKE
LOVE, ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK.
LISTEN, BOBBI, THE POINT OF
1649
01:01:12,069 --> 01:01:13,613
LOVE, ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK.
LISTEN, BOBBI, THE POINT OF
THIS PLACE ISN'T SEX, IT'S
1650
01:01:13,637 --> 01:01:14,380
LISTEN, BOBBI, THE POINT OF
THIS PLACE ISN'T SEX, IT'S
ENTERTAINMENT.
1651
01:01:14,404 --> 01:01:15,481
THIS PLACE ISN'T SEX, IT'S
ENTERTAINMENT.
MRS. FARBER, HE'S ABSOLUTELY
1652
01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:16,049
ENTERTAINMENT.
MRS. FARBER, HE'S ABSOLUTELY
RIGHT.
1653
01:01:16,073 --> 01:01:17,316
MRS. FARBER, HE'S ABSOLUTELY
RIGHT.
I'VE BEEN BRINGING CLIENTS LIKE
1654
01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:18,518
RIGHT.
I'VE BEEN BRINGING CLIENTS LIKE
YOUR HUSBAND HERE SINCE 1968.
1655
01:01:18,542 --> 01:01:19,853
I'VE BEEN BRINGING CLIENTS LIKE
YOUR HUSBAND HERE SINCE 1968.
I'VE BEEN A KEYHOLDER SINCE
1656
01:01:19,877 --> 01:01:21,254
YOUR HUSBAND HERE SINCE 1968.
I'VE BEEN A KEYHOLDER SINCE
1968, AND I ASSURE YOU NOBODY
1657
01:01:21,278 --> 01:01:22,455
I'VE BEEN A KEYHOLDER SINCE
1968, AND I ASSURE YOU NOBODY
MESSES WITH THESE GIRLS.
1658
01:01:22,479 --> 01:01:23,823
1968, AND I ASSURE YOU NOBODY
MESSES WITH THESE GIRLS.
HEF MAKES THEM TAKE A SPECIAL
1659
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,291
MESSES WITH THESE GIRLS.
HEF MAKES THEM TAKE A SPECIAL
DRUG TO GET RID OF THEIR DESIRE.
1660
01:01:25,315 --> 01:01:26,726
HEF MAKES THEM TAKE A SPECIAL
DRUG TO GET RID OF THEIR DESIRE.
IT'S CUSTOM MADE AT THE PLAYBOY
1661
01:01:26,750 --> 01:01:27,894
DRUG TO GET RID OF THEIR DESIRE.
IT'S CUSTOM MADE AT THE PLAYBOY
PLEASURE LABS IN LAKE GENEVA,
1662
01:01:27,918 --> 01:01:28,494
IT'S CUSTOM MADE AT THE PLAYBOY
PLEASURE LABS IN LAKE GENEVA,
WISCONSIN.
1663
01:01:28,518 --> 01:01:30,530
PLEASURE LABS IN LAKE GENEVA,
WISCONSIN.
I MEAN, I DON'T UNDERSTAND,
1664
01:01:30,554 --> 01:01:31,297
WISCONSIN.
I MEAN, I DON'T UNDERSTAND,
LARRY.
1665
01:01:31,321 --> 01:01:33,967
I MEAN, I DON'T UNDERSTAND,
LARRY.
I'M ALWAYS SO GOOD ABOUT SEX,
1666
01:01:33,991 --> 01:01:35,234
LARRY.
I'M ALWAYS SO GOOD ABOUT SEX,
LIKE THAT TIME WHEN YOU CAME
1667
01:01:35,258 --> 01:01:36,602
I'M ALWAYS SO GOOD ABOUT SEX,
LIKE THAT TIME WHEN YOU CAME
HOME FROM THE HUNTING TRIP AND
1668
01:01:36,626 --> 01:01:38,004
LIKE THAT TIME WHEN YOU CAME
HOME FROM THE HUNTING TRIP AND
YOU HADN'T WASHED FOR TWO WEEKS
1669
01:01:38,028 --> 01:01:39,372
HOME FROM THE HUNTING TRIP AND
YOU HADN'T WASHED FOR TWO WEEKS
AND YOU WERE CARRYING THAT DEAD
1670
01:01:39,396 --> 01:01:40,006
YOU HADN'T WASHED FOR TWO WEEKS
AND YOU WERE CARRYING THAT DEAD
MOOSE MEAT.
1671
01:01:40,030 --> 01:01:41,107
AND YOU WERE CARRYING THAT DEAD
MOOSE MEAT.
OH, HE MAKES THEM TAKE A
1672
01:01:41,131 --> 01:01:41,641
MOOSE MEAT.
OH, HE MAKES THEM TAKE A
DRUG, HUH?
1673
01:01:41,665 --> 01:01:42,776
OH, HE MAKES THEM TAKE A
DRUG, HUH?
HEF'S GOT HIS OWN PRIVATE
1674
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:44,044
DRUG, HUH?
HEF'S GOT HIS OWN PRIVATE
BEDROOM IN EVERY PLAYBOY CLUB IN
1675
01:01:44,068 --> 01:01:44,844
HEF'S GOT HIS OWN PRIVATE
BEDROOM IN EVERY PLAYBOY CLUB IN
THE UNITED STATES.
1676
01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:45,845
BEDROOM IN EVERY PLAYBOY CLUB IN
THE UNITED STATES.
HE TESTS EVERY BUNNY GIRL
1677
01:01:45,869 --> 01:01:46,412
THE UNITED STATES.
HE TESTS EVERY BUNNY GIRL
PERSONALLY.
1678
01:01:46,436 --> 01:01:47,647
HE TESTS EVERY BUNNY GIRL
PERSONALLY.
IF SHE'S NO GOOD, FIRED ON THE
1679
01:01:47,671 --> 01:01:48,181
PERSONALLY.
IF SHE'S NO GOOD, FIRED ON THE
SPOT.
1680
01:01:48,205 --> 01:01:49,615
IF SHE'S NO GOOD, FIRED ON THE
SPOT.
HE'S GOT A PRIVATE BEDROOM WITH
1681
01:01:49,639 --> 01:01:50,917
SPOT.
HE'S GOT A PRIVATE BEDROOM WITH
A FIVE-DAY FOOD, LIQUOR, AND
1682
01:01:50,941 --> 01:01:51,918
HE'S GOT A PRIVATE BEDROOM WITH
A FIVE-DAY FOOD, LIQUOR, AND
DRUG SUPPLY IN IT.
1683
01:01:51,942 --> 01:01:52,819
A FIVE-DAY FOOD, LIQUOR, AND
DRUG SUPPLY IN IT.
[LAUGHING]
1684
01:01:52,843 --> 01:01:53,820
DRUG SUPPLY IN IT.
[LAUGHING]
HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS?
1685
01:01:53,844 --> 01:01:54,954
[LAUGHING]
HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS?
WELL, YOU BEEN A KEYHOLDER
1686
01:01:54,978 --> 01:01:55,955
HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS?
WELL, YOU BEEN A KEYHOLDER
THIS LONG, YOU'RE PARTY TO
1687
01:01:55,979 --> 01:01:57,190
WELL, YOU BEEN A KEYHOLDER
THIS LONG, YOU'RE PARTY TO
CERTAIN INFORMATION.
1688
01:01:57,214 --> 01:01:58,424
THIS LONG, YOU'RE PARTY TO
CERTAIN INFORMATION.
YEAH, WELL, LARRY, SERIOUSLY,
1689
01:01:58,448 --> 01:01:59,625
CERTAIN INFORMATION.
YEAH, WELL, LARRY, SERIOUSLY,
I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO WONDERFUL
1690
01:01:59,649 --> 01:02:00,359
YEAH, WELL, LARRY, SERIOUSLY,
I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO WONDERFUL
ABOUT THIS PLACE.
1691
01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:02,261
I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO WONDERFUL
ABOUT THIS PLACE.
I MEAN, THEY BOLT THE ASHTRAYS
1692
01:02:02,285 --> 01:02:04,197
ABOUT THIS PLACE.
I MEAN, THEY BOLT THE ASHTRAYS
TO THE ARMS OF THE CHAIRS, AND
1693
01:02:04,221 --> 01:02:05,832
I MEAN, THEY BOLT THE ASHTRAYS
TO THE ARMS OF THE CHAIRS, AND
THEY ALWAYS GIVE YOU THIS
1694
01:02:05,856 --> 01:02:07,734
TO THE ARMS OF THE CHAIRS, AND
THEY ALWAYS GIVE YOU THIS
LITTLE, TEENY-TINY SALAD PLATE
1695
01:02:07,758 --> 01:02:08,768
THEY ALWAYS GIVE YOU THIS
LITTLE, TEENY-TINY SALAD PLATE
FOR THE SALAD.
1696
01:02:08,792 --> 01:02:10,170
LITTLE, TEENY-TINY SALAD PLATE
FOR THE SALAD.
BOY, THAT HUGH HEFNER...
1697
01:02:10,194 --> 01:02:11,237
FOR THE SALAD.
BOY, THAT HUGH HEFNER...
WHAT A GUY, HUH?
1698
01:02:11,261 --> 01:02:12,839
BOY, THAT HUGH HEFNER...
WHAT A GUY, HUH?
LARRY.
1699
01:02:12,863 --> 01:02:14,440
WHAT A GUY, HUH?
LARRY.
I BETCHA HUGH HEFNER DOESN'T
1700
01:02:14,464 --> 01:02:16,209
LARRY.
I BETCHA HUGH HEFNER DOESN'T
TURN HIS SOCKS INSIDE OUT TO GET
1701
01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:18,311
I BETCHA HUGH HEFNER DOESN'T
TURN HIS SOCKS INSIDE OUT TO GET
ANOTHER DAY'S WEAR OUT OF THEM.
1702
01:02:18,335 --> 01:02:19,245
TURN HIS SOCKS INSIDE OUT TO GET
ANOTHER DAY'S WEAR OUT OF THEM.
HEY, LISTEN.
1703
01:02:19,269 --> 01:02:19,846
ANOTHER DAY'S WEAR OUT OF THEM.
HEY, LISTEN.
OH, WOW.
1704
01:02:19,870 --> 01:02:21,314
HEY, LISTEN.
OH, WOW.
MR. SCHAEFER, THANK YOU VERY
1705
01:02:21,338 --> 01:02:22,515
OH, WOW.
MR. SCHAEFER, THANK YOU VERY
MUCH FOR THE BUNNY ANKLE
1706
01:02:22,539 --> 01:02:23,482
MR. SCHAEFER, THANK YOU VERY
MUCH FOR THE BUNNY ANKLE
BRACELET.
1707
01:02:23,506 --> 01:02:24,550
MUCH FOR THE BUNNY ANKLE
BRACELET.
LISTEN TO ME.
1708
01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:25,819
BRACELET.
LISTEN TO ME.
IS IT TRUE ABOUT HIM HAVING HIS
1709
01:02:25,843 --> 01:02:26,820
LISTEN TO ME.
IS IT TRUE ABOUT HIM HAVING HIS
OWN BUNNY JET?
1710
01:02:26,844 --> 01:02:27,987
IS IT TRUE ABOUT HIM HAVING HIS
OWN BUNNY JET?
NOT ONLY DOES HE HAVE HIS OWN
1711
01:02:28,011 --> 01:02:28,988
OWN BUNNY JET?
NOT ONLY DOES HE HAVE HIS OWN
BUNNY JET, HE'S GOT HIS OWN
1712
01:02:29,012 --> 01:02:29,522
NOT ONLY DOES HE HAVE HIS OWN
BUNNY JET, HE'S GOT HIS OWN
BUNNY TRAIN.
1713
01:02:29,546 --> 01:02:31,224
BUNNY JET, HE'S GOT HIS OWN
BUNNY TRAIN.
HE'S GOT HIS OWN NUCLEAR-POWERED
1714
01:02:31,248 --> 01:02:32,692
BUNNY TRAIN.
HE'S GOT HIS OWN NUCLEAR-POWERED
BUNNY SUB, IN FACT.
1715
01:02:32,716 --> 01:02:33,727
HE'S GOT HIS OWN NUCLEAR-POWERED
BUNNY SUB, IN FACT.
YEAH, IN THE EVENT OF
1716
01:02:33,751 --> 01:02:34,928
BUNNY SUB, IN FACT.
YEAH, IN THE EVENT OF
WORLD WAR III, HE DIVES TO THE
1717
01:02:34,952 --> 01:02:35,695
YEAH, IN THE EVENT OF
WORLD WAR III, HE DIVES TO THE
BOTTOM OF THE SEA.
1718
01:02:35,719 --> 01:02:36,796
WORLD WAR III, HE DIVES TO THE
BOTTOM OF THE SEA.
HE CAN EVADE OR COUNTERATTACK
1719
01:02:36,820 --> 01:02:37,864
BOTTOM OF THE SEA.
HE CAN EVADE OR COUNTERATTACK
ANY NUCLEAR ANTAGONIST WHILE
1720
01:02:37,888 --> 01:02:38,965
HE CAN EVADE OR COUNTERATTACK
ANY NUCLEAR ANTAGONIST WHILE
HAVING CONTINUAL PLEASURE WITH
1721
01:02:38,989 --> 01:02:40,133
ANY NUCLEAR ANTAGONIST WHILE
HAVING CONTINUAL PLEASURE WITH
ANY MEMBER OF THE CREW, EACH OF
1722
01:02:40,157 --> 01:02:41,267
HAVING CONTINUAL PLEASURE WITH
ANY MEMBER OF THE CREW, EACH OF
WHOM IS A TRAINED ATOMIC BUNNY
1723
01:02:41,291 --> 01:02:41,735
ANY MEMBER OF THE CREW, EACH OF
WHOM IS A TRAINED ATOMIC BUNNY
PHYSICIST.
1724
01:02:41,759 --> 01:02:42,335
WHOM IS A TRAINED ATOMIC BUNNY
PHYSICIST.
WOW.
1725
01:02:42,359 --> 01:02:43,469
PHYSICIST.
WOW.
THAT'S A FACT.
1726
01:02:43,493 --> 01:02:45,038
WOW.
THAT'S A FACT.
WE'RE CLOSING NOW, SIR.
1727
01:02:45,062 --> 01:02:46,206
THAT'S A FACT.
WE'RE CLOSING NOW, SIR.
HERE'S YOUR CHECK.
1728
01:02:46,230 --> 01:02:47,240
WE'RE CLOSING NOW, SIR.
HERE'S YOUR CHECK.
I'VE BEEN NOTICING YOUR
1729
01:02:47,264 --> 01:02:48,341
HERE'S YOUR CHECK.
I'VE BEEN NOTICING YOUR
TAIL'S A LOT FUZZIER THAN THE
1730
01:02:48,365 --> 01:02:49,109
I'VE BEEN NOTICING YOUR
TAIL'S A LOT FUZZIER THAN THE
REST OF THE GIRLS.
1731
01:02:49,133 --> 01:02:50,009
TAIL'S A LOT FUZZIER THAN THE
REST OF THE GIRLS.
I'LL SAY.
1732
01:02:50,033 --> 01:02:51,277
REST OF THE GIRLS.
I'LL SAY.
WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, KEEP
1733
01:02:51,301 --> 01:02:51,945
I'LL SAY.
WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, KEEP
IT UP.
1734
01:02:51,969 --> 01:02:52,678
WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, KEEP
IT UP.
THANK YOU.
1735
01:02:52,702 --> 01:02:53,579
IT UP.
THANK YOU.
OH, THANK US?
1736
01:02:53,603 --> 01:02:54,147
THANK YOU.
OH, THANK US?
THANK YOU.
1737
01:02:54,171 --> 01:02:54,981
OH, THANK US?
THANK YOU.
DON'T THANK US.
1738
01:02:55,005 --> 01:02:55,982
THANK YOU.
DON'T THANK US.
WE'RE NOT DOING THE
1739
01:02:56,006 --> 01:02:56,716
DON'T THANK US.
WE'RE NOT DOING THE
ENTERTAINING.
1740
01:02:56,740 --> 01:02:57,851
WE'RE NOT DOING THE
ENTERTAINING.
WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE.
1741
01:02:57,875 --> 01:02:58,952
ENTERTAINING.
WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE.
THANK YOU, LARRY.
1742
01:02:58,976 --> 01:03:00,353
WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE.
THANK YOU, LARRY.
THANK YOU.
1743
01:03:00,377 --> 01:03:01,420
THANK YOU, LARRY.
THANK YOU.
YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TALK TO
1744
01:03:01,444 --> 01:03:02,321
THANK YOU.
YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TALK TO
THEM, LAR.
1745
01:03:02,345 --> 01:03:04,157
YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TALK TO
THEM, LAR.
ALL RIGHT, LARRY, WE TOLD THE
1746
01:03:04,181 --> 01:03:05,825
THEM, LAR.
ALL RIGHT, LARRY, WE TOLD THE
SITTER WE'D BE HOME BY 12:30,
1747
01:03:05,849 --> 01:03:07,660
ALL RIGHT, LARRY, WE TOLD THE
SITTER WE'D BE HOME BY 12:30,
AND YOU REMEMBER THAT EPISODE OF
1748
01:03:07,684 --> 01:03:09,428
SITTER WE'D BE HOME BY 12:30,
AND YOU REMEMBER THAT EPISODE OF
HER DRYING THE CAT IN THE RADAR
1749
01:03:09,452 --> 01:03:09,963
AND YOU REMEMBER THAT EPISODE OF
HER DRYING THE CAT IN THE RADAR
RANGE.
1750
01:03:09,987 --> 01:03:11,064
HER DRYING THE CAT IN THE RADAR
RANGE.
NOW, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD
1751
01:03:11,088 --> 01:03:12,232
RANGE.
NOW, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD
LEAVE HER THERE ONE MORE MINUTE
1752
01:03:12,256 --> 01:03:12,932
NOW, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD
LEAVE HER THERE ONE MORE MINUTE
THAN WE HAVE TO.
1753
01:03:12,956 --> 01:03:14,067
LEAVE HER THERE ONE MORE MINUTE
THAN WE HAVE TO.
HOW DOES HE FIND THEM?
1754
01:03:14,091 --> 01:03:15,334
THAN WE HAVE TO.
HOW DOES HE FIND THEM?
I MEAN, GIRLS LIKE THAT, HOW
1755
01:03:15,358 --> 01:03:16,236
HOW DOES HE FIND THEM?
I MEAN, GIRLS LIKE THAT, HOW
DOES HE FIND THEM?
1756
01:03:16,260 --> 01:03:17,336
I MEAN, GIRLS LIKE THAT, HOW
DOES HE FIND THEM?
HE DOESN'T FIND THEM.
1757
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:18,604
DOES HE FIND THEM?
HE DOESN'T FIND THEM.
HE BREEDS THEM ON RANCHES IN
1758
01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:19,072
HE DOESN'T FIND THEM.
HE BREEDS THEM ON RANCHES IN
NEVADA.
1759
01:03:19,096 --> 01:03:19,572
HE BREEDS THEM ON RANCHES IN
NEVADA.
WHAT?
1760
01:03:19,596 --> 01:03:20,740
NEVADA.
WHAT?
HE BREEDS THEM LIKE MINKS.
1761
01:03:20,764 --> 01:03:22,075
WHAT?
HE BREEDS THEM LIKE MINKS.
LET ME ASK YOU... HAVE YOU EVER
1762
01:03:22,099 --> 01:03:23,243
HE BREEDS THEM LIKE MINKS.
LET ME ASK YOU... HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN AN OLD PLAYBOY BUNNY?
1763
01:03:23,267 --> 01:03:23,643
LET ME ASK YOU... HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN AN OLD PLAYBOY BUNNY?
NO.
1764
01:03:23,667 --> 01:03:24,978
SEEN AN OLD PLAYBOY BUNNY?
NO.
THAT'S BECAUSE HE KILLS THEM
1765
01:03:25,002 --> 01:03:26,712
NO.
THAT'S BECAUSE HE KILLS THEM
WHEN THEY REACH THE AGE OF 25.
1766
01:03:26,736 --> 01:03:27,647
THAT'S BECAUSE HE KILLS THEM
WHEN THEY REACH THE AGE OF 25.
PRIVATE UNDERWATER BUNNY
1767
01:03:27,671 --> 01:03:28,815
WHEN THEY REACH THE AGE OF 25.
PRIVATE UNDERWATER BUNNY
CEMETERY IN PALM BEACH, FLORIDA,
1768
01:03:28,839 --> 01:03:29,883
PRIVATE UNDERWATER BUNNY
CEMETERY IN PALM BEACH, FLORIDA,
UNDER THE PLAYBOY HOUSEBOAT.
1769
01:03:29,907 --> 01:03:30,950
CEMETERY IN PALM BEACH, FLORIDA,
UNDER THE PLAYBOY HOUSEBOAT.
THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S HIS
1770
01:03:30,974 --> 01:03:31,550
UNDER THE PLAYBOY HOUSEBOAT.
THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S HIS
HOME BUNNIES.
1771
01:03:31,574 --> 01:03:32,285
THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S HIS
HOME BUNNIES.
HOME BUNNIES?
1772
01:03:32,309 --> 01:03:33,352
HOME BUNNIES.
HOME BUNNIES?
YEAH, THE ONES HE KEEPS AT
1773
01:03:33,376 --> 01:03:33,853
HOME BUNNIES?
YEAH, THE ONES HE KEEPS AT
HOME.
1774
01:03:33,877 --> 01:03:34,954
YEAH, THE ONES HE KEEPS AT
HOME.
YOU KNOW, BIG METAL COLLARS,
1775
01:03:34,978 --> 01:03:35,421
HOME.
YOU KNOW, BIG METAL COLLARS,
STUDS.
1776
01:03:35,445 --> 01:03:36,422
YOU KNOW, BIG METAL COLLARS,
STUDS.
HE FEEDS THEM RAW MEAT.
1777
01:03:36,446 --> 01:03:37,523
STUDS.
HE FEEDS THEM RAW MEAT.
WOW!
1778
01:03:37,547 --> 01:03:39,125
HE FEEDS THEM RAW MEAT.
WOW!
THEY LIVE 10 TO 15 YEARS MORE
1779
01:03:39,149 --> 01:03:40,359
WOW!
THEY LIVE 10 TO 15 YEARS MORE
THAN THE REGULAR WOMEN.
1780
01:03:40,383 --> 01:03:41,928
THEY LIVE 10 TO 15 YEARS MORE
THAN THE REGULAR WOMEN.
WOW.
1781
01:03:41,952 --> 01:03:43,863
THAN THE REGULAR WOMEN.
WOW.
YOU KNOW, LARRY, IF WE STAY
1782
01:03:43,887 --> 01:03:45,731
WOW.
YOU KNOW, LARRY, IF WE STAY
HERE ANY LONGER, I'M GOING TO
1783
01:03:45,755 --> 01:03:47,667
YOU KNOW, LARRY, IF WE STAY
HERE ANY LONGER, I'M GOING TO
TAKE OUT MY CONTACT LENSES AND
1784
01:03:47,691 --> 01:03:50,069
HERE ANY LONGER, I'M GOING TO
TAKE OUT MY CONTACT LENSES AND
CLEAN THEM IN MY MOUTH.
1785
01:03:50,093 --> 01:03:52,305
TAKE OUT MY CONTACT LENSES AND
CLEAN THEM IN MY MOUTH.
AND I'LL PROBABLY SWALLOW ONE.
1786
01:03:52,329 --> 01:03:54,007
CLEAN THEM IN MY MOUTH.
AND I'LL PROBABLY SWALLOW ONE.
BOBBI, I LISTENED THE WHOLE
1787
01:03:54,031 --> 01:03:55,675
AND I'LL PROBABLY SWALLOW ONE.
BOBBI, I LISTENED THE WHOLE
WAY HERE TO THAT BORING STORY
1788
01:03:55,699 --> 01:03:57,376
BOBBI, I LISTENED THE WHOLE
WAY HERE TO THAT BORING STORY
ABOUT THE FREELAND GIRL BEING
1789
01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:58,978
WAY HERE TO THAT BORING STORY
ABOUT THE FREELAND GIRL BEING
ALLERGIC TO CHROME AND GLASS
1790
01:03:59,002 --> 01:03:59,913
ABOUT THE FREELAND GIRL BEING
ALLERGIC TO CHROME AND GLASS
COFFEE TABLES.
1791
01:03:59,937 --> 01:04:01,580
ALLERGIC TO CHROME AND GLASS
COFFEE TABLES.
NOW, I THINK THE LEAST YOU CAN
1792
01:04:01,604 --> 01:04:03,316
COFFEE TABLES.
NOW, I THINK THE LEAST YOU CAN
DO IS LISTEN TO LITTLE STORIES
1793
01:04:03,340 --> 01:04:05,451
NOW, I THINK THE LEAST YOU CAN
DO IS LISTEN TO LITTLE STORIES
ABOUT HUGH HEFNER!
1794
01:04:05,475 --> 01:04:07,353
DO IS LISTEN TO LITTLE STORIES
ABOUT HUGH HEFNER!
EXCUSE ME.
1795
01:04:07,377 --> 01:04:08,721
ABOUT HUGH HEFNER!
EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME, IS THERE A PROBLEM?
1796
01:04:08,745 --> 01:04:11,490
EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME, IS THERE A PROBLEM?
[GASPS]
1797
01:04:11,514 --> 01:04:12,692
EXCUSE ME, IS THERE A PROBLEM?
[GASPS]
IT'S 'NER.
1798
01:04:12,716 --> 01:04:13,559
[GASPS]
IT'S 'NER.
'NER!
1799
01:04:13,583 --> 01:04:14,627
IT'S 'NER.
'NER!
'NERSY!
1800
01:04:14,651 --> 01:04:15,929
'NER!
'NERSY!
HEY, 'NER.
1801
01:04:15,953 --> 01:04:17,230
'NERSY!
HEY, 'NER.
IT'S HIM HIMSELF.
1802
01:04:17,254 --> 01:04:18,298
HEY, 'NER.
IT'S HIM HIMSELF.
I FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU.
1803
01:04:18,322 --> 01:04:19,265
IT'S HIM HIMSELF.
I FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU.
I READ YOUR MAGAZINE.
1804
01:04:19,289 --> 01:04:20,466
I FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU.
I READ YOUR MAGAZINE.
MR. HEFNER, I'M THE KEYHOLDER
1805
01:04:20,490 --> 01:04:20,900
I READ YOUR MAGAZINE.
MR. HEFNER, I'M THE KEYHOLDER
HERE.
1806
01:04:20,924 --> 01:04:22,368
MR. HEFNER, I'M THE KEYHOLDER
HERE.
REG SCHAEFER, SANDUSKY HAIRDRYER
1807
01:04:22,392 --> 01:04:23,636
HERE.
REG SCHAEFER, SANDUSKY HAIRDRYER
TEMPERATURE CONTROL SWITCH
1808
01:04:23,660 --> 01:04:24,304
REG SCHAEFER, SANDUSKY HAIRDRYER
TEMPERATURE CONTROL SWITCH
CORPORATION.
1809
01:04:24,328 --> 01:04:25,504
TEMPERATURE CONTROL SWITCH
CORPORATION.
THESE ARE MY GUESTS, MR. AND
1810
01:04:25,528 --> 01:04:26,639
CORPORATION.
THESE ARE MY GUESTS, MR. AND
MRS. LARRY FARBER.
1811
01:04:26,663 --> 01:04:28,574
THESE ARE MY GUESTS, MR. AND
MRS. LARRY FARBER.
HELLO, THERE.
1812
01:04:28,598 --> 01:04:30,343
MRS. LARRY FARBER.
HELLO, THERE.
IT IS GETTING A LITTLE LATE.
1813
01:04:30,367 --> 01:04:32,212
HELLO, THERE.
IT IS GETTING A LITTLE LATE.
YOU KNOW, WE WERE WONDERING A
1814
01:04:32,236 --> 01:04:34,013
IT IS GETTING A LITTLE LATE.
YOU KNOW, WE WERE WONDERING A
FEW THINGS.
1815
01:04:34,037 --> 01:04:35,614
YOU KNOW, WE WERE WONDERING A
FEW THINGS.
YOU KNOW, THE PLAYMATES OF
1816
01:04:35,638 --> 01:04:37,250
FEW THINGS.
YOU KNOW, THE PLAYMATES OF
THE MONTH, DO THEY GET TO PICK
1817
01:04:37,274 --> 01:04:38,852
YOU KNOW, THE PLAYMATES OF
THE MONTH, DO THEY GET TO PICK
THE MONTH, OR DO YOU FORCE THE
1818
01:04:38,876 --> 01:04:39,385
THE MONTH, DO THEY GET TO PICK
THE MONTH, OR DO YOU FORCE THE
MONTH ON THEM?
1819
01:04:39,409 --> 01:04:40,486
THE MONTH, OR DO YOU FORCE THE
MONTH ON THEM?
AND THOSE STARS ON THE "P" IN
1820
01:04:40,510 --> 01:04:41,387
MONTH ON THEM?
AND THOSE STARS ON THE "P" IN
THE "PLAYBOY" ON THE COVER?
1821
01:04:41,411 --> 01:04:42,455
AND THOSE STARS ON THE "P" IN
THE "PLAYBOY" ON THE COVER?
DOES THAT REALLY MEAN THE NUMBER
1822
01:04:42,479 --> 01:04:43,389
THE "PLAYBOY" ON THE COVER?
DOES THAT REALLY MEAN THE NUMBER
OF TIMES YOU SLEPT WITH THE
1823
01:04:43,413 --> 01:04:44,423
DOES THAT REALLY MEAN THE NUMBER
OF TIMES YOU SLEPT WITH THE
PLAYMATE?
1824
01:04:44,447 --> 01:04:45,591
OF TIMES YOU SLEPT WITH THE
PLAYMATE?
HUH? HUH? HUH?
1825
01:04:45,615 --> 01:04:47,060
PLAYMATE?
HUH? HUH? HUH?
MR. SCHAEFER, THE STARS HAVE
1826
01:04:47,084 --> 01:04:48,261
HUH? HUH? HUH?
MR. SCHAEFER, THE STARS HAVE
NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.
1827
01:04:48,285 --> 01:04:49,829
MR. SCHAEFER, THE STARS HAVE
NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.
THE STARS ON THE "P" ON THE
1828
01:04:49,853 --> 01:04:51,130
NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.
THE STARS ON THE "P" ON THE
PLAYBOY COVER ARE AN
1829
01:04:51,154 --> 01:04:52,832
THE STARS ON THE "P" ON THE
PLAYBOY COVER ARE AN
ADVERTISING DEVICE TO SHOW WHAT
1830
01:04:52,856 --> 01:04:54,433
PLAYBOY COVER ARE AN
ADVERTISING DEVICE TO SHOW WHAT
CITY THAT ISSUE WAS PUBLISHED
1831
01:04:54,457 --> 01:04:54,968
ADVERTISING DEVICE TO SHOW WHAT
CITY THAT ISSUE WAS PUBLISHED
IN.
1832
01:04:54,992 --> 01:04:56,102
CITY THAT ISSUE WAS PUBLISHED
IN.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
1833
01:04:56,126 --> 01:04:57,436
IN.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
THAT'S RIGHT, MRS. FARBER.
1834
01:04:57,460 --> 01:04:58,471
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
THAT'S RIGHT, MRS. FARBER.
HOW DOES SHE KNOW?
1835
01:04:58,495 --> 01:05:00,206
THAT'S RIGHT, MRS. FARBER.
HOW DOES SHE KNOW?
OH, AND I ALSO WANTED TO SAY
1836
01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:01,975
HOW DOES SHE KNOW?
OH, AND I ALSO WANTED TO SAY
SOMETIMES, LARRY, I GET TIRED
1837
01:05:01,999 --> 01:05:03,442
OH, AND I ALSO WANTED TO SAY
SOMETIMES, LARRY, I GET TIRED
CLEANING YOUR HANDKERCHIEF
1838
01:05:03,466 --> 01:05:04,878
SOMETIMES, LARRY, I GET TIRED
CLEANING YOUR HANDKERCHIEF
DRAWER, AND I DO A LITTLE
1839
01:05:04,902 --> 01:05:05,511
CLEANING YOUR HANDKERCHIEF
DRAWER, AND I DO A LITTLE
READING.
1840
01:05:05,535 --> 01:05:07,546
DRAWER, AND I DO A LITTLE
READING.
AND I THOUGHT THAT ALEX HALEY
1841
01:05:07,570 --> 01:05:09,548
READING.
AND I THOUGHT THAT ALEX HALEY
INTERVIEW WITH MALCOLM X WAS
1842
01:05:09,572 --> 01:05:11,351
AND I THOUGHT THAT ALEX HALEY
INTERVIEW WITH MALCOLM X WAS
DEFINITELY THE DEFINITIVE
1843
01:05:11,375 --> 01:05:13,519
INTERVIEW WITH MALCOLM X WAS
DEFINITELY THE DEFINITIVE
MALCOLM X INTERVIEW.
1844
01:05:13,543 --> 01:05:14,820
DEFINITELY THE DEFINITIVE
MALCOLM X INTERVIEW.
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
1845
01:05:14,844 --> 01:05:16,022
MALCOLM X INTERVIEW.
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
MRS. FARBER, AND IF YOU'RE
1846
01:05:16,046 --> 01:05:17,223
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
MRS. FARBER, AND IF YOU'RE
INTERESTED IN THAT SORT OF
1847
01:05:17,247 --> 01:05:18,591
MRS. FARBER, AND IF YOU'RE
INTERESTED IN THAT SORT OF
THING, I'M EDITING AT THE VERY
1848
01:05:18,615 --> 01:05:19,893
INTERESTED IN THAT SORT OF
THING, I'M EDITING AT THE VERY
MOMENT A ALEX HALEY PIECE FOR
1849
01:05:19,917 --> 01:05:20,826
THING, I'M EDITING AT THE VERY
MOMENT A ALEX HALEY PIECE FOR
THE DECEMBER ISSUE.
1850
01:05:20,850 --> 01:05:22,362
MOMENT A ALEX HALEY PIECE FOR
THE DECEMBER ISSUE.
OH, I'D LOVE TO SEE IT!
1851
01:05:22,386 --> 01:05:23,963
THE DECEMBER ISSUE.
OH, I'D LOVE TO SEE IT!
WHY DON'T YOU TWO HAVE A
1852
01:05:23,987 --> 01:05:25,798
OH, I'D LOVE TO SEE IT!
WHY DON'T YOU TWO HAVE A
DRINK HERE, AND WE'LL BE BACK IN
1853
01:05:25,822 --> 01:05:26,732
WHY DON'T YOU TWO HAVE A
DRINK HERE, AND WE'LL BE BACK IN
A FEW MINUTES.
1854
01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:27,466
DRINK HERE, AND WE'LL BE BACK IN
A FEW MINUTES.
OKAY, YEAH.
1855
01:05:27,490 --> 01:05:28,534
A FEW MINUTES.
OKAY, YEAH.
THAT'S HUGH HEFNER!
1856
01:05:28,558 --> 01:05:30,003
OKAY, YEAH.
THAT'S HUGH HEFNER!
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY, AND
1857
01:05:30,027 --> 01:05:30,970
THAT'S HUGH HEFNER!
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY, AND
HE BUYS YOU A DRINK!
1858
01:05:30,994 --> 01:05:33,006
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY, AND
HE BUYS YOU A DRINK!
LARRY, CALL THE SITTER, OKAY?
1859
01:05:33,030 --> 01:05:34,107
HE BUYS YOU A DRINK!
LARRY, CALL THE SITTER, OKAY?
OKAY, HONEY.
1860
01:05:34,131 --> 01:05:36,042
LARRY, CALL THE SITTER, OKAY?
OKAY, HONEY.
SURE, DEAR, ANYTHING YOU SAY.
1861
01:05:36,066 --> 01:05:37,476
OKAY, HONEY.
SURE, DEAR, ANYTHING YOU SAY.
ARE YOU SURE SHE'LL BE...
1862
01:05:37,500 --> 01:05:39,112
SURE, DEAR, ANYTHING YOU SAY.
ARE YOU SURE SHE'LL BE...
YEAH, I JUST HOPE BOBBI ISN'T
1863
01:05:39,136 --> 01:05:40,713
ARE YOU SURE SHE'LL BE...
YEAH, I JUST HOPE BOBBI ISN'T
ALLERGIC TO THE REACTION TO THAT
1864
01:05:40,737 --> 01:05:41,147
YEAH, I JUST HOPE BOBBI ISN'T
ALLERGIC TO THE REACTION TO THAT
DRUG.
1865
01:05:41,171 --> 01:05:42,148
ALLERGIC TO THE REACTION TO THAT
DRUG.
I HOPE HE DOESN'T TAKE HER
1866
01:05:42,172 --> 01:05:43,049
DRUG.
I HOPE HE DOESN'T TAKE HER
AWAY IN THE SUBMARINE.
1867
01:05:43,073 --> 01:05:45,553
I HOPE HE DOESN'T TAKE HER
AWAY IN THE SUBMARINE.
OH, NAH!
1868
01:05:53,449 --> 01:05:54,609
THANK YOU, ALL, FOR MAKING
1869
01:05:54,683 --> 01:05:56,184
THIS SUCH A WONDERFUL ADVENTURE.
1870
01:05:56,319 --> 01:05:57,319
THANK YOU.
1871
01:05:57,353 --> 01:05:58,086
GOOD NIGHT.
1872
01:05:58,220 --> 01:05:59,454
GOOD NIGHT.
1873
01:05:59,588 --> 01:06:00,956
[APPLAUSE]
1874
01:06:01,090 --> 01:06:02,890
[BAND PLAYS]
202407
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