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All language subtitles for SNL S02E22 Shelley Duvall.DVDRip.HI.RLP.cc.en.UNVSL

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:03,713 THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. I MEAN, I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT 2 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:04,081 ABOUT IT. I MEAN, I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT IT. 3 00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:04,681 I MEAN, I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT IT. I'M SORRY. 4 00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:05,482 IT. I'M SORRY. IT'S TYPICAL! 5 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:06,383 I'M SORRY. IT'S TYPICAL! IT'S JUST TYPICAL. 6 00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:07,484 IT'S TYPICAL! IT'S JUST TYPICAL. LISTEN. 7 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,319 IT'S JUST TYPICAL. LISTEN. WE'RE ALL REHEARSED. 8 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:09,987 LISTEN. WE'RE ALL REHEARSED. LOOK. 9 00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,221 WE'RE ALL REHEARSED. LOOK. I'M IN THE COSTUME. 10 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:12,222 LOOK. I'M IN THE COSTUME. I'M ALL READY. 11 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,756 I'M IN THE COSTUME. I'M ALL READY. THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO? 12 00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:16,093 I'M ALL READY. THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO? I JUST GOT THE WORD MYSELF. 13 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:16,926 THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO? I JUST GOT THE WORD MYSELF. HI. 14 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,595 I JUST GOT THE WORD MYSELF. HI. I'M NOT MISS USA. 15 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,230 HI. I'M NOT MISS USA. I'M SHELLEY DUVALL. 16 00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:28,254 I'M NOT MISS USA. I'M SHELLEY DUVALL. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 17 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,142 I'M SHELLEY DUVALL. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] OH! 18 00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,676 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] OH! ORIGINALLY, WE WERE GONNA START 19 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,112 OH! ORIGINALLY, WE WERE GONNA START THE SHOW TONIGHT WITH ME AND 20 00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:36,480 ORIGINALLY, WE WERE GONNA START THE SHOW TONIGHT WITH ME AND JOHN BELUSHI DOING THE LOVE 21 00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:37,947 THE SHOW TONIGHT WITH ME AND JOHN BELUSHI DOING THE LOVE SCENE FROM THE "FLIGHT OF THE 22 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:38,648 JOHN BELUSHI DOING THE LOVE SCENE FROM THE "FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE." 23 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,183 SCENE FROM THE "FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE." THAT'S HOW COME I'M DRESSED LIKE 24 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:40,617 BUMBLEBEE." THAT'S HOW COME I'M DRESSED LIKE THIS. 25 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,419 THAT'S HOW COME I'M DRESSED LIKE THIS. BUT JUST NOW A NETWORK EXECUTIVE 26 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:43,820 THIS. BUT JUST NOW A NETWORK EXECUTIVE CONTACTED OUR PRODUCER, 27 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:45,489 BUT JUST NOW A NETWORK EXECUTIVE CONTACTED OUR PRODUCER, LORNE MICHAELS, AND WE HAD TO 28 00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:46,556 CONTACTED OUR PRODUCER, LORNE MICHAELS, AND WE HAD TO CHANGE OUR PLANS. 29 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,958 LORNE MICHAELS, AND WE HAD TO CHANGE OUR PLANS. YOU SEE, THERE'S THIS MEMO HERE. 30 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:49,726 CHANGE OUR PLANS. YOU SEE, THERE'S THIS MEMO HERE. [CHUCKLES] 31 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,861 YOU SEE, THERE'S THIS MEMO HERE. [CHUCKLES] "TO ALL NBC PRODUCERS... BECAUSE 32 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,696 [CHUCKLES] "TO ALL NBC PRODUCERS... BECAUSE OF THE HIGH COST-PER-MINUTE 33 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,065 "TO ALL NBC PRODUCERS... BECAUSE OF THE HIGH COST-PER-MINUTE RATIO OF THE RECENT 34 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,100 OF THE HIGH COST-PER-MINUTE RATIO OF THE RECENT DUANE BOBICK-KEN NORTON FIGHT, 35 00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:59,202 RATIO OF THE RECENT DUANE BOBICK-KEN NORTON FIGHT, TELECAST ORIGINALLY ON MAY 11th, 36 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,271 DUANE BOBICK-KEN NORTON FIGHT, TELECAST ORIGINALLY ON MAY 11th, WHICH UNFORTUNATELY LASTED ONLY 37 00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,173 TELECAST ORIGINALLY ON MAY 11th, WHICH UNFORTUNATELY LASTED ONLY 58 SECONDS, ALL NBC PROGRAMS 38 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,908 WHICH UNFORTUNATELY LASTED ONLY 58 SECONDS, ALL NBC PROGRAMS BROADCAST BETWEEN NOW AND 39 00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,910 58 SECONDS, ALL NBC PROGRAMS BROADCAST BETWEEN NOW AND JUNE 15th WILL BEGIN WITH THE 40 00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:08,811 BROADCAST BETWEEN NOW AND JUNE 15th WILL BEGIN WITH THE AFOREMENTIONED BOBICK-NORTON 41 00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:09,446 JUNE 15th WILL BEGIN WITH THE AFOREMENTIONED BOBICK-NORTON FIGHT. 42 00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:11,981 AFOREMENTIONED BOBICK-NORTON FIGHT. KINDEST REGARDS, PROGRAMMING 43 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,783 FIGHT. KINDEST REGARDS, PROGRAMMING UNIT AC-917." 44 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,885 KINDEST REGARDS, PROGRAMMING UNIT AC-917." WELL, THAT'S BIG BUSINESS. 45 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:19,556 UNIT AC-917." WELL, THAT'S BIG BUSINESS. SO HERE WE GO. 46 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,524 WELL, THAT'S BIG BUSINESS. SO HERE WE GO. I THINK. 47 00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,225 SO HERE WE GO. I THINK. [BELL DINGS] 48 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:25,317 I THINK. [BELL DINGS] [LAUGHTER] 49 00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:46,049 THEY CUT THE LOVE SCENE FROM THE "FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE" FOR THIS? 50 00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:49,219 THE "FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE" FOR THIS? HEY, I WAS WATCHING THAT. 51 00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,753 FOR THIS? HEY, I WAS WATCHING THAT. YEAH, WELL, CATCH IT IN 52 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:51,354 HEY, I WAS WATCHING THAT. YEAH, WELL, CATCH IT IN RERUNS. 53 00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:52,989 YEAH, WELL, CATCH IT IN RERUNS. IT'S DRIVING ME UP THE WALL. 54 00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,825 RERUNS. IT'S DRIVING ME UP THE WALL. BACK OFF, MISS LINT HAIR. 55 00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,627 IT'S DRIVING ME UP THE WALL. BACK OFF, MISS LINT HAIR. MISS LOOKS LIKE SHE SLEPT IN A 56 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:58,395 BACK OFF, MISS LINT HAIR. MISS LOOKS LIKE SHE SLEPT IN A DOGGIE BAG. 57 00:01:58,419 --> 00:01:59,229 MISS LOOKS LIKE SHE SLEPT IN A DOGGIE BAG. WHY, YOU... 58 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,098 DOGGIE BAG. WHY, YOU... NO! STOP IT! 59 00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:02,099 WHY, YOU... NO! STOP IT! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, YOU 60 00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:02,466 NO! STOP IT! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO! 61 00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,834 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO! KNOCK IT OFF! KNOCK IT OFF! 62 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,736 TWO! KNOCK IT OFF! KNOCK IT OFF! OR I'LL PUT YOUR DENTIST IN A 63 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:07,937 KNOCK IT OFF! KNOCK IT OFF! OR I'LL PUT YOUR DENTIST IN A NEW TAX BRACKET. 64 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,273 OR I'LL PUT YOUR DENTIST IN A NEW TAX BRACKET. AW, SHUT UP, OR I'LL LET THE 65 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,975 NEW TAX BRACKET. AW, SHUT UP, OR I'LL LET THE AIR OUT OF YOUR LEGS. 66 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:13,310 AW, SHUT UP, OR I'LL LET THE AIR OUT OF YOUR LEGS. GIVE ME THAT! 67 00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,212 AIR OUT OF YOUR LEGS. GIVE ME THAT! THANK GOD YOU MAKE MOVIES 68 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:17,214 GIVE ME THAT! THANK GOD YOU MAKE MOVIES WITH A BETTER CLASS OF PEOPLE. 69 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,116 THANK GOD YOU MAKE MOVIES WITH A BETTER CLASS OF PEOPLE. HEY, HEY! 70 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,016 WITH A BETTER CLASS OF PEOPLE. HEY, HEY! NICE TEETH. 71 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,718 HEY, HEY! NICE TEETH. WHY DON'T YOU TATTOO "STEINWAY" 72 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:22,819 NICE TEETH. WHY DON'T YOU TATTOO "STEINWAY" ON YOUR UPPER LIP? 73 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,488 WHY DON'T YOU TATTOO "STEINWAY" ON YOUR UPPER LIP? YEAH, SHELLEY, WHAT DID YOU 74 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:26,156 ON YOUR UPPER LIP? YEAH, SHELLEY, WHAT DID YOU DO, BRUSH YOUR WAY TO THE TOP? 75 00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:27,090 YEAH, SHELLEY, WHAT DID YOU DO, BRUSH YOUR WAY TO THE TOP? YEAH. 76 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:29,192 DO, BRUSH YOUR WAY TO THE TOP? YEAH. YOU SELDOM FIND EYES LIKE THAT 77 00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:31,128 YEAH. YOU SELDOM FIND EYES LIKE THAT OUTSIDE OF A MOUSE CARTOON. 78 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:31,861 YOU SELDOM FIND EYES LIKE THAT OUTSIDE OF A MOUSE CARTOON. HEH! 79 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,062 OUTSIDE OF A MOUSE CARTOON. HEH! I'VE NEVER DONE LIVE 80 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:33,730 HEH! I'VE NEVER DONE LIVE TELEVISION. 81 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,132 I'VE NEVER DONE LIVE TELEVISION. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, YOU 82 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:35,565 TELEVISION. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, YOU KNOW? 83 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:36,566 I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, YOU KNOW? IT'S JUST TOO MUCH. 84 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,034 KNOW? IT'S JUST TOO MUCH. YEAH, WELL, IF YOU WANT TO DO 85 00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,469 IT'S JUST TOO MUCH. YEAH, WELL, IF YOU WANT TO DO TELEVISION, YOU BETTER LEARN TO 86 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,337 YEAH, WELL, IF YOU WANT TO DO TELEVISION, YOU BETTER LEARN TO TAKE IT, CUPCAKE. 87 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:41,404 TELEVISION, YOU BETTER LEARN TO TAKE IT, CUPCAKE. THAT'S RIGHT. 88 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,106 TAKE IT, CUPCAKE. THAT'S RIGHT. IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE HEAT, 89 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,907 THAT'S RIGHT. IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE HEAT, STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN, OKAY? 90 00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:46,409 IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE HEAT, STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN, OKAY? LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S 91 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:48,578 STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN, OKAY? LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! 92 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,113 LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. 93 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,781 "SATURDAY NIGHT"! I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. WE ALL KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. 94 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,983 I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. WE ALL KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. WE WERE ONCE SERIOUS ACTRESSES. 95 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:54,917 WE ALL KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. WE WERE ONCE SERIOUS ACTRESSES. REALLY? 96 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:56,186 WE WERE ONCE SERIOUS ACTRESSES. REALLY? YEAH, YEAH, RIGHT. 97 00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:57,820 REALLY? YEAH, YEAH, RIGHT. BUT WEEKLY TV MADE US TOUGH. 98 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,422 YEAH, YEAH, RIGHT. BUT WEEKLY TV MADE US TOUGH. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, HONEY? 99 00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:00,857 BUT WEEKLY TV MADE US TOUGH. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, HONEY? WISE UP, SWEETHEART. 100 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,725 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, HONEY? WISE UP, SWEETHEART. YOU GOT A WHOLE SHOW TO HOST OUT 101 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:03,293 WISE UP, SWEETHEART. YOU GOT A WHOLE SHOW TO HOST OUT THERE. 102 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,727 YOU GOT A WHOLE SHOW TO HOST OUT THERE. GET WITH IT OR GET OUT! 103 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,796 THERE. GET WITH IT OR GET OUT! ALL RIGHT. 104 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,898 GET WITH IT OR GET OUT! ALL RIGHT. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, KID. 105 00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:11,000 ALL RIGHT. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, KID. WITH PORES THAT SIZE, YOU COULD 106 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,101 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, KID. WITH PORES THAT SIZE, YOU COULD DRILL FOR OIL. 107 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:15,205 WITH PORES THAT SIZE, YOU COULD DRILL FOR OIL. OKAY, SHELLEY! 108 00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:17,607 DRILL FOR OIL. OKAY, SHELLEY! OH, WHICH ONE OF YOU LOWLIFES 109 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,842 OKAY, SHELLEY! OH, WHICH ONE OF YOU LOWLIFES PUT A CIGARETTE OUT IN MY TAB? 110 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:20,310 OH, WHICH ONE OF YOU LOWLIFES PUT A CIGARETTE OUT IN MY TAB? NOT ME! 111 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,711 PUT A CIGARETTE OUT IN MY TAB? NOT ME! OKAY, GALS, LET'S GO. 112 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:22,879 NOT ME! OKAY, GALS, LET'S GO. YOU GOT 30 SECONDS. 113 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:23,946 OKAY, GALS, LET'S GO. YOU GOT 30 SECONDS. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN 114 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,415 YOU GOT 30 SECONDS. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE. 115 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:28,373 YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE. OOH, 30 SECONDS! OKAY! 116 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:42,880 Announcer: GARRETT MORRIS, BILL MURRAY, LARAINE NEWMAN, AND GILDA RADNER. 117 00:03:48,961 --> 00:03:56,000 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE VIDEO VIXENS. [UP-TEMPO INTRODUCTION PLAYS] 118 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:11,610 WHOO! ♪ THEY CALL US JOKE JUNKIES AND PUNCH-LINE PUNKS ♪ 119 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:17,800 ♪ THEY CALL US JOKE JUNKIES AND PUNCH-LINE PUNKS ♪ ♪ AND WHEN WE HEAR THEM TALKIN' 120 00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:21,438 AND PUNCH-LINE PUNKS ♪ ♪ AND WHEN WE HEAR THEM TALKIN' WE GET IN COAST-TO-COAST FUNKS ♪ 121 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,972 ♪ AND WHEN WE HEAR THEM TALKIN' WE GET IN COAST-TO-COAST FUNKS ♪ ♪ BUT THEY CAN JUST SAY 122 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,007 WE GET IN COAST-TO-COAST FUNKS ♪ ♪ BUT THEY CAN JUST SAY WHAT THEY WANT ♪ 123 00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:28,044 ♪ BUT THEY CAN JUST SAY WHAT THEY WANT ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE REMEMBER STICKS AND 124 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:32,115 WHAT THEY WANT ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE REMEMBER STICKS AND STONES CAN'T BREAK THE BONES 125 00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:35,352 ♪ 'CAUSE WE REMEMBER STICKS AND STONES CAN'T BREAK THE BONES OF A VIDEO VIXEN ♪ 126 00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,220 STONES CAN'T BREAK THE BONES OF A VIDEO VIXEN ♪ HEY! 127 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,522 OF A VIDEO VIXEN ♪ HEY! HEY! 128 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:42,792 HEY! HEY! ♪ WE'RE VIDEO VIXENS ♪ 129 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,661 HEY! ♪ WE'RE VIDEO VIXENS ♪ ♪ AND THIS IS HOW WE GET 130 00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,429 ♪ WE'RE VIDEO VIXENS ♪ ♪ AND THIS IS HOW WE GET OUR LICKS IN ♪ 131 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,664 ♪ AND THIS IS HOW WE GET OUR LICKS IN ♪ ♪ EVERY WEEK 132 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,599 OUR LICKS IN ♪ ♪ EVERY WEEK FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF ♪ 133 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,167 ♪ EVERY WEEK FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF ♪ ♪ ALL WE WANT TO DO 134 00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,869 FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF ♪ ♪ ALL WE WANT TO DO IS MAKE YOU... 135 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,204 ♪ ALL WE WANT TO DO IS MAKE YOU... ♪ LAUGH HARD ♪ 136 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:56,706 IS MAKE YOU... ♪ LAUGH HARD ♪ ♪ UHH UHH ♪ 137 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,040 ♪ LAUGH HARD ♪ ♪ UHH UHH ♪ ♪ HARDER ♪ 138 00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:00,343 ♪ UHH UHH ♪ ♪ HARDER ♪ ♪ UHH UHH UHH ♪ 139 00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,344 ♪ HARDER ♪ ♪ UHH UHH UHH ♪ ♪ HARDER ♪ 140 00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:04,180 ♪ UHH UHH UHH ♪ ♪ HARDER ♪ ♪ UHH UHH UHH ♪ 141 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:06,015 ♪ HARDER ♪ ♪ UHH UHH UHH ♪ ♪ HARDER ♪ 142 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,850 ♪ UHH UHH UHH ♪ ♪ HARDER ♪ ♪ UHH UHH UHH ♪ 143 00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:09,386 ♪ HARDER ♪ ♪ UHH UHH UHH ♪ ♪ WHEN WE COME ON 144 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,554 ♪ UHH UHH UHH ♪ ♪ WHEN WE COME ON TO YOUR SCREEN, 145 00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:12,689 ♪ WHEN WE COME ON TO YOUR SCREEN, IT MAKES US FEEL 146 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:15,191 TO YOUR SCREEN, IT MAKES US FEEL JUST LIKE A QUEEN ♪ 147 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:18,762 IT MAKES US FEEL JUST LIKE A QUEEN ♪ ♪ ALL WE WANNA DO ONCE A WEEK 148 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,129 JUST LIKE A QUEEN ♪ ♪ ALL WE WANNA DO ONCE A WEEK IS TO PUT OUR TONGUE 149 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,231 ♪ ALL WE WANNA DO ONCE A WEEK IS TO PUT OUR TONGUE IN YOUR CHEEK ♪ 150 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,833 IS TO PUT OUR TONGUE IN YOUR CHEEK ♪ ♪ BABA WAWA MAKES YOU 151 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,735 IN YOUR CHEEK ♪ ♪ BABA WAWA MAKES YOU FEEL SO GOOD ♪ 152 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:26,969 ♪ BABA WAWA MAKES YOU FEEL SO GOOD ♪ ♪ "UPDATE" MAKES YOU HAPPY 153 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,105 FEEL SO GOOD ♪ ♪ "UPDATE" MAKES YOU HAPPY LIKE I KNEW IT WOULD ♪ 154 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,440 ♪ "UPDATE" MAKES YOU HAPPY LIKE I KNEW IT WOULD ♪ ♪ AND AS YOUR HOST 155 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,375 LIKE I KNEW IT WOULD ♪ ♪ AND AS YOUR HOST YOU'LL FIND ME OH, SO NICE ♪ 156 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:33,643 ♪ AND AS YOUR HOST YOU'LL FIND ME OH, SO NICE ♪ ♪ WHEN I'M SHERRY, YOU JUST 157 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,878 YOU'LL FIND ME OH, SO NICE ♪ ♪ WHEN I'M SHERRY, YOU JUST WANT ME TO DO IT TWICE ♪ 158 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,447 ♪ WHEN I'M SHERRY, YOU JUST WANT ME TO DO IT TWICE ♪ AND THE ONLY WAY WE REALLY LIKE 159 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,881 WANT ME TO DO IT TWICE ♪ AND THE ONLY WAY WE REALLY LIKE IT IS WITH 40 MILLION PEOPLE 160 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:39,683 AND THE ONLY WAY WE REALLY LIKE IT IS WITH 40 MILLION PEOPLE WATCHING. 161 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:40,283 IT IS WITH 40 MILLION PEOPLE WATCHING. ♪ AHH ♪ 162 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:43,753 WATCHING. ♪ AHH ♪ ♪ WE'RE VIDEO VIXENS, 163 00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,422 ♪ AHH ♪ ♪ WE'RE VIDEO VIXENS, AND THIS IS HOW WE GET 164 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,123 ♪ WE'RE VIDEO VIXENS, AND THIS IS HOW WE GET OUR LICKS IN ♪ 165 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:49,292 AND THIS IS HOW WE GET OUR LICKS IN ♪ ♪ YOU TURN US ON EVERY WEEK ♪ 166 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:50,527 OUR LICKS IN ♪ ♪ YOU TURN US ON EVERY WEEK ♪ ♪ IT'S TRUE ♪ 167 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,128 ♪ YOU TURN US ON EVERY WEEK ♪ ♪ IT'S TRUE ♪ ♪ THAT'S WHY OUR RATINGS 168 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,763 ♪ IT'S TRUE ♪ ♪ THAT'S WHY OUR RATINGS DON'T GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ 169 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,599 ♪ THAT'S WHY OUR RATINGS DON'T GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ 170 00:05:56,623 --> 00:06:00,470 DON'T GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ 171 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:03,406 ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ 172 00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:06,543 ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ 173 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,745 ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ WELL, EXCU-U-U-SE ME! 174 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,380 ♪ GO DOWN ON YOU ♪ WELL, EXCU-U-U-SE ME! WE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO ONE IN 175 00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:11,815 WELL, EXCU-U-U-SE ME! WE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO ONE IN PRIME TIME, AND THEY BETTER 176 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:12,349 WE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO ONE IN PRIME TIME, AND THEY BETTER BEWARE! 177 00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:14,283 PRIME TIME, AND THEY BETTER BEWARE! WE'D TAKE ON RHODA, PHYLLIS, OR 178 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,152 BEWARE! WE'D TAKE ON RHODA, PHYLLIS, OR LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY, WE SWEAR! 179 00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,787 WE'D TAKE ON RHODA, PHYLLIS, OR LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY, WE SWEAR! WHY, IF THEY'D EVER TREAD ON 180 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,489 LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY, WE SWEAR! WHY, IF THEY'D EVER TREAD ON OUR TURF, WE'D TEAR OUT THEIR 181 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:19,989 WHY, IF THEY'D EVER TREAD ON OUR TURF, WE'D TEAR OUT THEIR HAIR! 182 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,258 OUR TURF, WE'D TEAR OUT THEIR HAIR! AND THAT GOES TWICE FOR CHER! 183 00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,260 HAIR! AND THAT GOES TWICE FOR CHER! AND AFTER "VICTORY AT ENTEBBE" 184 00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,396 AND THAT GOES TWICE FOR CHER! AND AFTER "VICTORY AT ENTEBBE" WE WERE WAITING FOR DAYS TO BEAT 185 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,231 AND AFTER "VICTORY AT ENTEBBE" WE WERE WAITING FOR DAYS TO BEAT THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF 186 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:31,368 WE WERE WAITING FOR DAYS TO BEAT THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HELEN HAYES! 187 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:34,671 THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HELEN HAYES! HELEN HAYES! 188 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,706 HELEN HAYES! HELEN HAYES! HELEN HAYES! 189 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,607 HELEN HAYES! HELEN HAYES! AHH! 190 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,910 HELEN HAYES! AHH! ♪ WE'RE MEDIA MINXES ♪ 191 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:41,711 AHH! ♪ WE'RE MEDIA MINXES ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW WE'RE 192 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,581 ♪ WE'RE MEDIA MINXES ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW WE'RE SHOWBIZ SPHINXES ♪ 193 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:48,117 ♪ YOU KNOW WE'RE SHOWBIZ SPHINXES ♪ ♪ WE'RE LATE-NIGHT LYNXES ♪ 194 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,352 SHOWBIZ SPHINXES ♪ ♪ WE'RE LATE-NIGHT LYNXES ♪ ♪ OUR FAVORITE TRUCKS 195 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,755 ♪ WE'RE LATE-NIGHT LYNXES ♪ ♪ OUR FAVORITE TRUCKS ARE BRINKSES ♪ 196 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,723 ♪ OUR FAVORITE TRUCKS ARE BRINKSES ♪ ♪ WE'RE TRANSFIXIN' HICKS 197 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,024 ARE BRINKSES ♪ ♪ WE'RE TRANSFIXIN' HICKS IN THE STICKS, 198 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:57,360 ♪ WE'RE TRANSFIXIN' HICKS IN THE STICKS, NOT TO MENTION HARRYS, TOMS, 199 00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:58,661 IN THE STICKS, NOT TO MENTION HARRYS, TOMS, AND DICKS ♪ 200 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:02,599 NOT TO MENTION HARRYS, TOMS, AND DICKS ♪ ♪ WE'RE VIDEO VIXENS ♪ 201 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:06,002 AND DICKS ♪ ♪ WE'RE VIDEO VIXENS ♪ ♪ WE'RE NOT JEANE DIXON ♪ 202 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:06,969 ♪ WE'RE VIDEO VIXENS ♪ ♪ WE'RE NOT JEANE DIXON ♪ ♪ NO DIRTY TRICKS 203 00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,205 ♪ WE'RE NOT JEANE DIXON ♪ ♪ NO DIRTY TRICKS AND RICHARD NIXON ♪ 204 00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:11,240 ♪ NO DIRTY TRICKS AND RICHARD NIXON ♪ ♪ WE'RE JEWISH GIRLS ♪ 205 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,942 AND RICHARD NIXON ♪ ♪ WE'RE JEWISH GIRLS ♪ ♪ AND WE'RE SHIKSENS ♪ 206 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,176 ♪ WE'RE JEWISH GIRLS ♪ ♪ AND WE'RE SHIKSENS ♪ ♪ BUT MOSTLY 207 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:20,049 ♪ AND WE'RE SHIKSENS ♪ ♪ BUT MOSTLY WE'RE JUST VIDEO VIXENS ♪ 208 00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:23,686 ♪ BUT MOSTLY WE'RE JUST VIDEO VIXENS ♪ GET IT! UHH! 209 00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:26,645 WE'RE JUST VIDEO VIXENS ♪ GET IT! UHH! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 210 00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:34,285 ROCK 'N' ROLL! 211 00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:48,344 YEAH! ROCK 'N' ROLL! ROCK 'N' ROLL! 212 00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,547 ROCK 'N' ROLL! ROCK 'N' ROLL! WHOO! 213 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:51,681 ROCK 'N' ROLL! WHOO! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 214 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,215 WHOO! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS 215 00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:56,441 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS MESSAGE, HONEY. 216 00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:09,432 FREEZE! EVERYBODY, FREEZE! THIS IS A BANK ROBBERY! YOU DROP YOUR GUN BELT AND KICK 217 00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:10,066 THIS IS A BANK ROBBERY! YOU DROP YOUR GUN BELT AND KICK IT OVER HERE. 218 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,133 YOU DROP YOUR GUN BELT AND KICK IT OVER HERE. OKAY, LISTEN TO ME CLEARLY. 219 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,301 IT OVER HERE. OKAY, LISTEN TO ME CLEARLY. ALL RIGHT, TELLERS, OPEN YOUR 220 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,169 OKAY, LISTEN TO ME CLEARLY. ALL RIGHT, TELLERS, OPEN YOUR CASH DRAWERS HALFWAY. 221 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,403 ALL RIGHT, TELLERS, OPEN YOUR CASH DRAWERS HALFWAY. EVERYBODY ELSE, LIE DOWN ON THE 222 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:15,638 CASH DRAWERS HALFWAY. EVERYBODY ELSE, LIE DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND KEEP YOUR HANDS ABOVE 223 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:16,172 EVERYBODY ELSE, LIE DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND KEEP YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEADS. 224 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,807 FLOOR AND KEEP YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEADS. NO MOVEMENT, NO NOISE, OR I 225 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:18,842 YOUR HEADS. NO MOVEMENT, NO NOISE, OR I START SHOOTING. 226 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,343 NO MOVEMENT, NO NOISE, OR I START SHOOTING. IS THAT CLEAR? IS THAT CLEAR? 227 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,511 START SHOOTING. IS THAT CLEAR? IS THAT CLEAR? JUST LISTEN TO ME, AND 228 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,145 IS THAT CLEAR? IS THAT CLEAR? JUST LISTEN TO ME, AND EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. 229 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,514 JUST LISTEN TO ME, AND EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. YOU DROP THAT, YOU SUCKER, OR 230 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:25,915 EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. YOU DROP THAT, YOU SUCKER, OR I'LL TAKE HER HEAD RIGHT OFF! 231 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:26,549 YOU DROP THAT, YOU SUCKER, OR I'LL TAKE HER HEAD RIGHT OFF! DROP IT. 232 00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:27,517 I'LL TAKE HER HEAD RIGHT OFF! DROP IT. OKAY, I GOT MY PEOPLE WITH 233 00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:27,884 DROP IT. OKAY, I GOT MY PEOPLE WITH ME. 234 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:28,985 OKAY, I GOT MY PEOPLE WITH ME. WE DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYBODY. 235 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,052 ME. WE DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYBODY. WE JUST WANT TO PULL THIS OFF 236 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:34,791 WE DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYBODY. WE JUST WANT TO PULL THIS OFF CLEAN AND NICE, ALL RIGHT? 237 00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,292 WE JUST WANT TO PULL THIS OFF CLEAN AND NICE, ALL RIGHT? OKAY, CLEAN UP THOSE CASH 238 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:36,926 CLEAN AND NICE, ALL RIGHT? OKAY, CLEAN UP THOSE CASH DRAWERS. 239 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,661 OKAY, CLEAN UP THOSE CASH DRAWERS. MAKE SURE NO METAL TOUCHES ANY 240 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:39,496 DRAWERS. MAKE SURE NO METAL TOUCHES ANY OTHER METAL. 241 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:40,897 MAKE SURE NO METAL TOUCHES ANY OTHER METAL. ALL RIGHT, HERBIE, PICK UP HIS 242 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,198 OTHER METAL. ALL RIGHT, HERBIE, PICK UP HIS GUN AND HIS GUN AND MAKE HIM 243 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:42,999 ALL RIGHT, HERBIE, PICK UP HIS GUN AND HIS GUN AND MAKE HIM OPEN THE VAULT. 244 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:43,867 GUN AND HIS GUN AND MAKE HIM OPEN THE VAULT. I'M COUNTING NOW. 245 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,802 OPEN THE VAULT. I'M COUNTING NOW. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, 246 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:46,402 I'M COUNTING NOW. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX... 247 00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:47,971 ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX... EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. 248 00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:48,638 SIX... EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. WHAT? 249 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:49,939 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. WHAT? I HAVE A QUESTION. 250 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:50,907 WHAT? I HAVE A QUESTION. WHAT IS IT? 251 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,609 I HAVE A QUESTION. WHAT IS IT? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE 252 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:53,877 WHAT IS IT? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DISGUISED, RIGHT? 253 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:54,644 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DISGUISED, RIGHT? YEAH. 254 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,445 DISGUISED, RIGHT? YEAH. OKAY, SO SHE'S A WITCH. 255 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:57,747 YEAH. OKAY, SO SHE'S A WITCH. AND HE'S A CLOWN. 256 00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,816 OKAY, SO SHE'S A WITCH. AND HE'S A CLOWN. AND HE'S A COWBOY. 257 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,151 AND HE'S A CLOWN. AND HE'S A COWBOY. SO WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE? 258 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:03,219 AND HE'S A COWBOY. SO WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE? UH, WHAT? 259 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,587 SO WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE? UH, WHAT? YOUR DISGUISE. 260 00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:06,589 UH, WHAT? YOUR DISGUISE. WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE? 261 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,358 YOUR DISGUISE. WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE? I'M AN INSECT. 262 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,627 WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE? I'M AN INSECT. A BUG, YOU KNOW. 263 00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,595 I'M AN INSECT. A BUG, YOU KNOW. I'M SORRY, BUT HOW DO YOU 264 00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:13,930 A BUG, YOU KNOW. I'M SORRY, BUT HOW DO YOU FIGURE AN INSECT? 265 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:16,098 I'M SORRY, BUT HOW DO YOU FIGURE AN INSECT? IT'S JUST A NYLON STOCKING WITH 266 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,267 FIGURE AN INSECT? IT'S JUST A NYLON STOCKING WITH TWO ORANGES STUCK ON YOUR EYES. 267 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,236 IT'S JUST A NYLON STOCKING WITH TWO ORANGES STUCK ON YOUR EYES. I DON'T SEE AN INSECT THERE. 268 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,370 TWO ORANGES STUCK ON YOUR EYES. I DON'T SEE AN INSECT THERE. YOU DON'T? 269 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,038 I DON'T SEE AN INSECT THERE. YOU DON'T? NO. 270 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,573 YOU DON'T? NO. OH, WELL, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE, 271 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:24,607 NO. OH, WELL, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE, LIKE, A GRASSHOPPER. 272 00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:25,708 OH, WELL, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE, LIKE, A GRASSHOPPER. I'M A PRAYING MANTIS! 273 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:26,576 LIKE, A GRASSHOPPER. I'M A PRAYING MANTIS! YEAH, THAT'S IT. 274 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,644 I'M A PRAYING MANTIS! YEAH, THAT'S IT. I'M A PRAYING MANTIS. 275 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,412 YEAH, THAT'S IT. I'M A PRAYING MANTIS. WELL, UH, YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE 276 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:29,846 I'M A PRAYING MANTIS. WELL, UH, YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE ONE. 277 00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,047 WELL, UH, YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE ONE. WELL, FORGET IT! 278 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,515 ONE. WELL, FORGET IT! SHUT UP AND LET US WORK. 279 00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,851 WELL, FORGET IT! SHUT UP AND LET US WORK. 21, 22, 23... 280 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,285 SHUT UP AND LET US WORK. 21, 22, 23... HEY, RON? RON? 281 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,054 21, 22, 23... HEY, RON? RON? YOU KNOW, SHE'S RIGHT. 282 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,322 HEY, RON? RON? YOU KNOW, SHE'S RIGHT. YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE AN INSECT. 283 00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:41,457 YOU KNOW, SHE'S RIGHT. YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE AN INSECT. WHAT? 284 00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,192 YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE AN INSECT. WHAT? YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE AN INSECT 285 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:43,760 WHAT? YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE AN INSECT AT ALL. 286 00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:46,228 YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE AN INSECT AT ALL. I'M GLAD YOU TOLD ME, BECAUSE 287 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,998 AT ALL. I'M GLAD YOU TOLD ME, BECAUSE I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED. 288 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:49,666 I'M GLAD YOU TOLD ME, BECAUSE I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED. YOU, YOU! 289 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:50,567 I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED. YOU, YOU! GIVE ME A PENCIL! 290 00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,435 YOU, YOU! GIVE ME A PENCIL! GIVE ME A PENCIL! 291 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:58,174 GIVE ME A PENCIL! GIVE ME A PENCIL! OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS? 292 00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,476 GIVE ME A PENCIL! OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS? [CHIRPING] 293 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:03,613 OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS? [CHIRPING] NO, NO, THAT JUST LOOKS LIKE 294 00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:05,114 [CHIRPING] NO, NO, THAT JUST LOOKS LIKE TWO PENCILS. 295 00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,515 NO, NO, THAT JUST LOOKS LIKE TWO PENCILS. WAIT A MINUTE. 296 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,884 TWO PENCILS. WAIT A MINUTE. I SEE AN INSECT. 297 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:08,618 WAIT A MINUTE. I SEE AN INSECT. YEAH! 298 00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:09,986 I SEE AN INSECT. YEAH! YOU JUST USE YOUR IMAGINATION, 299 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,253 YEAH! YOU JUST USE YOUR IMAGINATION, THE INSECT WILL COME TO YOU. 300 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,221 YOU JUST USE YOUR IMAGINATION, THE INSECT WILL COME TO YOU. IT'S REALLY GOOD. 301 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,456 THE INSECT WILL COME TO YOU. IT'S REALLY GOOD. YEAH! 302 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,658 IT'S REALLY GOOD. YEAH! NO, MAN, I'M NOT GOING FOR 303 00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:16,192 YEAH! NO, MAN, I'M NOT GOING FOR IT. 304 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,426 NO, MAN, I'M NOT GOING FOR IT. THAT'S THE WORST DISGUISE I'VE 305 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,360 IT. THAT'S THE WORST DISGUISE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. 306 00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:20,563 THAT'S THE WORST DISGUISE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. YEAH, I-I AGREE. 307 00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:21,998 EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. YEAH, I-I AGREE. YOU CAN SEE THAT EVERYBODY ELSE 308 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,466 YEAH, I-I AGREE. YOU CAN SEE THAT EVERYBODY ELSE REALLY WORKED ON THEIR COSTUMES. 309 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,400 YOU CAN SEE THAT EVERYBODY ELSE REALLY WORKED ON THEIR COSTUMES. YEAH. 310 00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,201 REALLY WORKED ON THEIR COSTUMES. YEAH. IT'S TRUE. 311 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,669 YEAH. IT'S TRUE. I PUT A LOT OF TIME AND MONEY 312 00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:27,704 IT'S TRUE. I PUT A LOT OF TIME AND MONEY INTO THIS COSTUME. 313 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,171 I PUT A LOT OF TIME AND MONEY INTO THIS COSTUME. HOW DO YOU GET OFF SHOWING UP 314 00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:29,839 INTO THIS COSTUME. HOW DO YOU GET OFF SHOWING UP LIKE THAT? 315 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:30,372 HOW DO YOU GET OFF SHOWING UP LIKE THAT? YEAH. 316 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:31,941 LIKE THAT? YEAH. REALLY, MAN, THIS WAS THE COWBOY 317 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:32,675 YEAH. REALLY, MAN, THIS WAS THE COWBOY SUIT IN TOWN. 318 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,143 REALLY, MAN, THIS WAS THE COWBOY SUIT IN TOWN. I HAD TO GO TO THREE FITTINGS. 319 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,044 SUIT IN TOWN. I HAD TO GO TO THREE FITTINGS. COME ON! 320 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,013 I HAD TO GO TO THREE FITTINGS. COME ON! I'VE WORKED ALL MONTH PLANNING 321 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:37,814 COME ON! I'VE WORKED ALL MONTH PLANNING THIS JOB! 322 00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:38,447 I'VE WORKED ALL MONTH PLANNING THIS JOB! REMEMBER? 323 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,116 THIS JOB! REMEMBER? WHEN WE STARTED OUT, I WAS GONNA 324 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,651 REMEMBER? WHEN WE STARTED OUT, I WAS GONNA PICK THREE MATCHING HARLEQUIN 325 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,086 WHEN WE STARTED OUT, I WAS GONNA PICK THREE MATCHING HARLEQUIN COSTUMES SO WE'D LOOK NICE. 326 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,353 PICK THREE MATCHING HARLEQUIN COSTUMES SO WE'D LOOK NICE. BUT SOMEBODY ELSE TOOK THEM. 327 00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,722 COSTUMES SO WE'D LOOK NICE. BUT SOMEBODY ELSE TOOK THEM. THERE'S NOTHING I COULD DO ABOUT 328 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:46,089 BUT SOMEBODY ELSE TOOK THEM. THERE'S NOTHING I COULD DO ABOUT IT. 329 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,456 THERE'S NOTHING I COULD DO ABOUT IT. PLUS, I HAD TO PLAN THE ESCAPE 330 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:47,924 IT. PLUS, I HAD TO PLAN THE ESCAPE ROUTES. 331 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,158 PLUS, I HAD TO PLAN THE ESCAPE ROUTES. I PLANNED THIS WHOLE THING. 332 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,526 ROUTES. I PLANNED THIS WHOLE THING. I HAD TO LOOK AT TRAFFIC 333 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:51,995 I PLANNED THIS WHOLE THING. I HAD TO LOOK AT TRAFFIC PATTERNS, ONE-WAY STREETS, 334 00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:52,929 I HAD TO LOOK AT TRAFFIC PATTERNS, ONE-WAY STREETS, SERVICE ALLEYS. 335 00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,631 PATTERNS, ONE-WAY STREETS, SERVICE ALLEYS. I JUST DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO PICK 336 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:55,464 SERVICE ALLEYS. I JUST DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO PICK UP A COSTUME. 337 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,266 I JUST DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO PICK UP A COSTUME. WELL, MAN, THAT'S NO EXCUSE 338 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,168 UP A COSTUME. WELL, MAN, THAT'S NO EXCUSE BECAUSE I CAME IN ON THIS THING 339 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,070 WELL, MAN, THAT'S NO EXCUSE BECAUSE I CAME IN ON THIS THING YESTERDAY, AND I HAD TIME TO GET 340 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,739 BECAUSE I CAME IN ON THIS THING YESTERDAY, AND I HAD TIME TO GET ME A HALFWAY DECENT COSTUME 341 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,573 YESTERDAY, AND I HAD TIME TO GET ME A HALFWAY DECENT COSTUME TOGETHER. 342 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:05,441 ME A HALFWAY DECENT COSTUME TOGETHER. IT'S TRUE. 343 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,176 TOGETHER. IT'S TRUE. AT LEAST YOU KNOW HE'S SUPPOSED 344 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,077 IT'S TRUE. AT LEAST YOU KNOW HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A GHOST. 345 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,478 AT LEAST YOU KNOW HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A GHOST. HE'S A GHOST, RIGHT? 346 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,280 TO BE A GHOST. HE'S A GHOST, RIGHT? HE LOOKS LIKE A GHOST. 347 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,815 HE'S A GHOST, RIGHT? HE LOOKS LIKE A GHOST. BUT THERE'S NO WAY THAT 348 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:13,916 HE LOOKS LIKE A GHOST. BUT THERE'S NO WAY THAT YOU'RE AN INSECT. 349 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,018 BUT THERE'S NO WAY THAT YOU'RE AN INSECT. WELL, I SEE IT. 350 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,686 YOU'RE AN INSECT. WELL, I SEE IT. I THINK IT'S A GREAT COSTUME. 351 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:17,654 WELL, I SEE IT. I THINK IT'S A GREAT COSTUME. IT'S SO SIMPLE. 352 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:18,454 I THINK IT'S A GREAT COSTUME. IT'S SO SIMPLE. THANKS. 353 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:19,822 IT'S SO SIMPLE. THANKS. I LIKE THE COWBOY. 354 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,691 THANKS. I LIKE THE COWBOY. HE REALLY LOOKS LIKE A COWBOY. 355 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,026 I LIKE THE COWBOY. HE REALLY LOOKS LIKE A COWBOY. THE GHOST IS MY FAVORITE. 356 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,226 HE REALLY LOOKS LIKE A COWBOY. THE GHOST IS MY FAVORITE. ALL RIGHT, EXCUSE ME. 357 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,628 THE GHOST IS MY FAVORITE. ALL RIGHT, EXCUSE ME. I THINK WE BETTER SETTLE THIS 358 00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:26,963 ALL RIGHT, EXCUSE ME. I THINK WE BETTER SETTLE THIS MATTER BEFORE SOMEBODY GETS 359 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:27,396 I THINK WE BETTER SETTLE THIS MATTER BEFORE SOMEBODY GETS HURT. 360 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:28,397 MATTER BEFORE SOMEBODY GETS HURT. EVERYBODY STAND UP. 361 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,799 HURT. EVERYBODY STAND UP. BANK-ROBBERY PEOPLE, GET OVER 362 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:30,633 EVERYBODY STAND UP. BANK-ROBBERY PEOPLE, GET OVER HERE IN A LINE. 363 00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,869 BANK-ROBBERY PEOPLE, GET OVER HERE IN A LINE. WE'RE GONNA VOTE ON THIS. 364 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:35,104 HERE IN A LINE. WE'RE GONNA VOTE ON THIS. JUST APPLAUSE, NO CHEERS. 365 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:38,240 WE'RE GONNA VOTE ON THIS. JUST APPLAUSE, NO CHEERS. OKAY, NOW, HOW ABOUT THE COWBOY? 366 00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:39,709 JUST APPLAUSE, NO CHEERS. OKAY, NOW, HOW ABOUT THE COWBOY? [LIGHT APPLAUSE] 367 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:40,943 OKAY, NOW, HOW ABOUT THE COWBOY? [LIGHT APPLAUSE] OKAY! 368 00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:41,544 [LIGHT APPLAUSE] OKAY! ALL RIGHT. 369 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:42,779 OKAY! ALL RIGHT. SOMEBODY CAME AS A WITCH. 370 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:43,512 ALL RIGHT. SOMEBODY CAME AS A WITCH. HOW ABOUT HER? 371 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,280 SOMEBODY CAME AS A WITCH. HOW ABOUT HER? LET'S HEAR IT. 372 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,915 HOW ABOUT HER? LET'S HEAR IT. [LIGHT APPLAUSE] 373 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,483 LET'S HEAR IT. [LIGHT APPLAUSE] WHO'S THIS FELLOW, DRESSED UP AS 374 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:48,017 [LIGHT APPLAUSE] WHO'S THIS FELLOW, DRESSED UP AS A GHOST? 375 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,686 WHO'S THIS FELLOW, DRESSED UP AS A GHOST? [APPLAUSE] 376 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,988 A GHOST? [APPLAUSE] ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 377 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,189 [APPLAUSE] ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OKAY. AND HOW ABOUT THIS GUY OVER HERE 378 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,023 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OKAY. AND HOW ABOUT THIS GUY OVER HERE DRESSED AS AN INSECT? 379 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,358 AND HOW ABOUT THIS GUY OVER HERE DRESSED AS AN INSECT? YAY! 380 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,494 DRESSED AS AN INSECT? YAY! GIVE ME A BREAK, WILL YOU? 381 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,029 YAY! GIVE ME A BREAK, WILL YOU? WELL, I THINK THE VOTING SPEAKS 382 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,263 GIVE ME A BREAK, WILL YOU? WELL, I THINK THE VOTING SPEAKS FOR ITSELF, MR. INSECT. 383 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:01,798 WELL, I THINK THE VOTING SPEAKS FOR ITSELF, MR. INSECT. WAIT! 384 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:02,198 FOR ITSELF, MR. INSECT. WAIT! YOU! 385 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,199 WAIT! YOU! I DO A GREAT FROG. 386 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,600 YOU! I DO A GREAT FROG. GIVE ME THAT GREEN-FELT DESK 387 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:05,634 I DO A GREAT FROG. GIVE ME THAT GREEN-FELT DESK BLOTTER OVER THERE. 388 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,170 GIVE ME THAT GREEN-FELT DESK BLOTTER OVER THERE. I PICKED THIS UP IN WOMAN'S DAY 389 00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:07,804 BLOTTER OVER THERE. I PICKED THIS UP IN WOMAN'S DAY MAGAZINE. 390 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:08,771 I PICKED THIS UP IN WOMAN'S DAY MAGAZINE. ANYBODY CAN DO IT. 391 00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:09,939 MAGAZINE. ANYBODY CAN DO IT. YOU CAN DO IT AT HOME. 392 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,874 ANYBODY CAN DO IT. YOU CAN DO IT AT HOME. YOU JUST GET THE BLOTTER, AND 393 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,109 YOU CAN DO IT AT HOME. YOU JUST GET THE BLOTTER, AND YOU JUST FOLD IT. 394 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,376 YOU JUST GET THE BLOTTER, AND YOU JUST FOLD IT. SEE? IT'S A FROG. 395 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,378 YOU JUST FOLD IT. SEE? IT'S A FROG. LIKE THIS. 396 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,113 SEE? IT'S A FROG. LIKE THIS. [ALL GROAN] 397 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,681 LIKE THIS. [ALL GROAN] IT'S AS GOOD AS YOUR INSECT, 398 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:19,348 [ALL GROAN] IT'S AS GOOD AS YOUR INSECT, ALL RIGHT? 399 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:20,282 IT'S AS GOOD AS YOUR INSECT, ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT, FINE. 400 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:21,350 ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT, FINE. YOU PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO HELP 401 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:21,718 ALL RIGHT, FINE. YOU PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO HELP ME. 402 00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:22,484 YOU PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO HELP ME. HERE. 403 00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:23,419 ME. HERE. FILL THIS BAG UP. 404 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:24,921 HERE. FILL THIS BAG UP. BACK ON THE FLOOR! 405 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,322 FILL THIS BAG UP. BACK ON THE FLOOR! GET BACK! 406 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,389 BACK ON THE FLOOR! GET BACK! COME ON. KEEP MOVING! 407 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,758 GET BACK! COME ON. KEEP MOVING! I REALLY THOUGHT YOUR INSECT 408 00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:29,425 COME ON. KEEP MOVING! I REALLY THOUGHT YOUR INSECT WAS THE BEST. 409 00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:30,193 I REALLY THOUGHT YOUR INSECT WAS THE BEST. OH, THANKS. 410 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,060 WAS THE BEST. OH, THANKS. THAT'S REAL NICE. 411 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,428 OH, THANKS. THAT'S REAL NICE. WOULD YOU MIND COUNTING THOSE 412 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,295 THAT'S REAL NICE. WOULD YOU MIND COUNTING THOSE BILLS OUT FOR ME? 413 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:34,697 WOULD YOU MIND COUNTING THOSE BILLS OUT FOR ME? I CAN'T SEE WITH THESE ORANGES 414 00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:35,564 BILLS OUT FOR ME? I CAN'T SEE WITH THESE ORANGES STUCK TO MY EYES? 415 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,133 I CAN'T SEE WITH THESE ORANGES STUCK TO MY EYES? 40, 60... 416 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,135 STUCK TO MY EYES? 40, 60... SEE, ORIGINALLY, I GOT THIS 417 00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,236 40, 60... SEE, ORIGINALLY, I GOT THIS GANG TOGETHER. 418 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,338 SEE, ORIGINALLY, I GOT THIS GANG TOGETHER. WE WERE GONNA ROB BANKS UPSTATE, 419 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,840 GANG TOGETHER. WE WERE GONNA ROB BANKS UPSTATE, AND WE HAD THIS IDEA. 420 00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,108 WE WERE GONNA ROB BANKS UPSTATE, AND WE HAD THIS IDEA. I WAS GONNA GET THESE THREE 421 00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,408 AND WE HAD THIS IDEA. I WAS GONNA GET THESE THREE MATCHING HARLEQUIN COSTUMES, 422 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,777 I WAS GONNA GET THESE THREE MATCHING HARLEQUIN COSTUMES, LIKE YOU SEE A JOKER IN A DECK 423 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:48,344 MATCHING HARLEQUIN COSTUMES, LIKE YOU SEE A JOKER IN A DECK OF CARDS? 424 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,578 LIKE YOU SEE A JOKER IN A DECK OF CARDS? THEY WERE REAL COLORFUL, BUT WE 425 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,813 OF CARDS? THEY WERE REAL COLORFUL, BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE MONEY FOR A DEPOSIT. 426 00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:51,981 THEY WERE REAL COLORFUL, BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE MONEY FOR A DEPOSIT. SO SOMEBODY ELSE SCOOPED THEM ON 427 00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:52,348 DIDN'T HAVE MONEY FOR A DEPOSIT. SO SOMEBODY ELSE SCOOPED THEM ON US. 428 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,884 SO SOMEBODY ELSE SCOOPED THEM ON US. [ALARM BLARES] 429 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,919 US. [ALARM BLARES] OKAY, EVERYBODY, FREEZE! 430 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,354 [ALARM BLARES] OKAY, EVERYBODY, FREEZE! FBI BANK SQUAD! 431 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,489 OKAY, EVERYBODY, FREEZE! FBI BANK SQUAD! YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST. 432 00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:01,157 FBI BANK SQUAD! YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST. WAIT! 433 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,558 YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST. WAIT! I DO A GREAT PORCUPINE! 434 00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,326 WAIT! I DO A GREAT PORCUPINE! YOU, GIVE ME 25 LETTER OPENERS 435 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:08,086 I DO A GREAT PORCUPINE! YOU, GIVE ME 25 LETTER OPENERS AND 50 SHARP PENCILS, LIKE THIS. 436 00:13:20,732 --> 00:13:24,313 I FIRST HEARD JOAN ARMATRADING WHEN A FRIEND OF MINE PLAYED HER ALBUM FOR ME 437 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:25,414 JOAN ARMATRADING WHEN A FRIEND OF MINE PLAYED HER ALBUM FOR ME ON A VISIT TO ENGLAND. 438 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,083 OF MINE PLAYED HER ALBUM FOR ME ON A VISIT TO ENGLAND. I WAS VERY MUCH MOVED BY HER 439 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,384 ON A VISIT TO ENGLAND. I WAS VERY MUCH MOVED BY HER VOICE AND HER LYRICS. 440 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,652 I WAS VERY MUCH MOVED BY HER VOICE AND HER LYRICS. I KNOW MANY OF YOU HADN'T HEARD 441 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:30,820 VOICE AND HER LYRICS. I KNOW MANY OF YOU HADN'T HEARD OF JOAN, AND THAT'S WHY I'M 442 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,121 I KNOW MANY OF YOU HADN'T HEARD OF JOAN, AND THAT'S WHY I'M PLEASED TO HAVE THIS OPPORTUNITY 443 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,356 OF JOAN, AND THAT'S WHY I'M PLEASED TO HAVE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO PRESENT JOAN ARMATRADING. 444 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:38,861 PLEASED TO HAVE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO PRESENT JOAN ARMATRADING. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 445 00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:44,801 TO PRESENT JOAN ARMATRADING. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ I'M NOT IN LOVE ♪ 446 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:49,272 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ I'M NOT IN LOVE ♪ ♪ BUT I'M OPEN TO PERSUASION ♪ 447 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:52,108 ♪ I'M NOT IN LOVE ♪ ♪ BUT I'M OPEN TO PERSUASION ♪ ♪ EAST OR WEST ♪ 448 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:55,411 ♪ BUT I'M OPEN TO PERSUASION ♪ ♪ EAST OR WEST ♪ ♪ WHERE'S THE BEST 449 00:13:55,435 --> 00:14:00,316 ♪ EAST OR WEST ♪ ♪ WHERE'S THE BEST FOR ROMANCING 450 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,852 ♪ WHERE'S THE BEST FOR ROMANCING WITH A FRIEND? ♪ 451 00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:05,521 FOR ROMANCING WITH A FRIEND? ♪ ♪ I CAN SMILE ♪ 452 00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:06,588 WITH A FRIEND? ♪ ♪ I CAN SMILE ♪ ♪ BUT WITH A LOVER, 453 00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:08,390 ♪ I CAN SMILE ♪ ♪ BUT WITH A LOVER, I COULD ROLL MY HEAD BACK ♪ 454 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:09,458 ♪ BUT WITH A LOVER, I COULD ROLL MY HEAD BACK ♪ ♪ I COULD REALLY LAUGH, 455 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:15,064 I COULD ROLL MY HEAD BACK ♪ ♪ I COULD REALLY LAUGH, REALLY LAUGH ♪ 456 00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:19,702 ♪ I COULD REALLY LAUGH, REALLY LAUGH ♪ ♪ THANK YOU ♪ 457 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:24,740 REALLY LAUGH ♪ ♪ THANK YOU ♪ ♪ YOU TOOK ME DANCING 458 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,476 ♪ THANK YOU ♪ ♪ YOU TOOK ME DANCING 'CROSS THE FLOOR ♪ 459 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,979 ♪ YOU TOOK ME DANCING 'CROSS THE FLOOR ♪ ♪ CHEEK TO CHEEK ♪ 460 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:30,913 'CROSS THE FLOOR ♪ ♪ CHEEK TO CHEEK ♪ ♪ BUT WITH A LOVER, 461 00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:31,981 ♪ CHEEK TO CHEEK ♪ ♪ BUT WITH A LOVER, I COULD REALLY MOVE, 462 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,482 ♪ BUT WITH A LOVER, I COULD REALLY MOVE, REALLY MOVE ♪ 463 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:34,951 I COULD REALLY MOVE, REALLY MOVE ♪ ♪ I COULD REALLY DANCE, 464 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,285 REALLY MOVE ♪ ♪ I COULD REALLY DANCE, REALLY DANCE, 465 00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:37,453 ♪ I COULD REALLY DANCE, REALLY DANCE, REALLY DANCE, 466 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,055 REALLY DANCE, REALLY DANCE, REALLY DANCE ♪ 467 00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,556 REALLY DANCE, REALLY DANCE ♪ ♪ I COULD REALLY MOVE, 468 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:41,690 REALLY DANCE ♪ ♪ I COULD REALLY MOVE, REALLY MOVE, 469 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,092 ♪ I COULD REALLY MOVE, REALLY MOVE, REALLY MOVE, 470 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,227 REALLY MOVE, REALLY MOVE, REALLY MOVE ♪ 471 00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:49,832 REALLY MOVE, REALLY MOVE ♪ ♪ NOW IF I CAN FEEL THE SUN 472 00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,234 REALLY MOVE ♪ ♪ NOW IF I CAN FEEL THE SUN IN MY EYES 473 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,635 ♪ NOW IF I CAN FEEL THE SUN IN MY EYES AND THE RAIN ON MY FACE ♪ 474 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:56,205 IN MY EYES AND THE RAIN ON MY FACE ♪ ♪ WHY CAN'T I 475 00:14:56,229 --> 00:15:04,229 AND THE RAIN ON MY FACE ♪ ♪ WHY CAN'T I FE-E-E-EL LOVE? ♪ 476 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,316 ♪ WHY CAN'T I FE-E-E-EL LOVE? ♪ ♪ I CAN REALLY LOVE, 477 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,885 FE-E-E-EL LOVE? ♪ ♪ I CAN REALLY LOVE, REALLY LOVE, 478 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:10,286 ♪ I CAN REALLY LOVE, REALLY LOVE, REALLY LOVE, 479 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,487 REALLY LOVE, REALLY LOVE, REALLY LOVE, 480 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:12,721 REALLY LOVE, REALLY LOVE, REALLY LOVE ♪ 481 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,391 REALLY LOVE, REALLY LOVE ♪ ♪ LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, 482 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,926 REALLY LOVE ♪ ♪ LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE ♪ 483 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:22,331 ♪ LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE ♪ ♪ NOW I GOT ALL THE FRIENDS 484 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,100 LOVE, LOVE, LOVE ♪ ♪ NOW I GOT ALL THE FRIENDS THAT I WANT ♪ 485 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:28,104 ♪ NOW I GOT ALL THE FRIENDS THAT I WANT ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ 486 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:31,740 THAT I WANT ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ I MAY NEED MORE ♪ 487 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,776 ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ I MAY NEED MORE ♪ ♪ BUT I SHOULD JUST STICK 488 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:39,815 ♪ I MAY NEED MORE ♪ ♪ BUT I SHOULD JUST STICK TO THOSE THAT I HAVE GOT ♪ 489 00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,717 ♪ BUT I SHOULD JUST STICK TO THOSE THAT I HAVE GOT ♪ ♪ WITH FRIENDS I STILL FEEL 490 00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,319 TO THOSE THAT I HAVE GOT ♪ ♪ WITH FRIENDS I STILL FEEL SO INSECURE ♪ 491 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:46,555 ♪ WITH FRIENDS I STILL FEEL SO INSECURE ♪ ♪ LITTLE DARLING, I BELIEVE 492 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:50,592 SO INSECURE ♪ ♪ LITTLE DARLING, I BELIEVE IT WOULD HELP ME A LOT ♪ 493 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,161 ♪ LITTLE DARLING, I BELIEVE IT WOULD HELP ME A LOT ♪ ♪ JUST TAKE MY HAND 494 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,764 IT WOULD HELP ME A LOT ♪ ♪ JUST TAKE MY HAND AND LEAD ME WHERE YOU WILL ♪ 495 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,866 ♪ JUST TAKE MY HAND AND LEAD ME WHERE YOU WILL ♪ ♪ NO CONVERSATION, 496 00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,235 AND LEAD ME WHERE YOU WILL ♪ ♪ NO CONVERSATION, NO WAVE GOOD NIGHT ♪ 497 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:02,038 ♪ NO CONVERSATION, NO WAVE GOOD NIGHT ♪ ♪ JUST GIVE ME LOVE ♪ 498 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:06,642 NO WAVE GOOD NIGHT ♪ ♪ JUST GIVE ME LOVE ♪ ♪ MAKE LOVE WITH AFFECTION ♪ 499 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,510 ♪ JUST GIVE ME LOVE ♪ ♪ MAKE LOVE WITH AFFECTION ♪ ♪ SING ME ANOTHER LOVE SONG ♪ 500 00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:09,545 ♪ MAKE LOVE WITH AFFECTION ♪ ♪ SING ME ANOTHER LOVE SONG ♪ ♪ BUT THIS TIME 501 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,213 ♪ SING ME ANOTHER LOVE SONG ♪ ♪ BUT THIS TIME WITH A LITTLE DEDICATION ♪ 502 00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:12,381 ♪ BUT THIS TIME WITH A LITTLE DEDICATION ♪ ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ 503 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,917 WITH A LITTLE DEDICATION ♪ ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ 504 00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:15,551 ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW 505 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,686 ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ♪ 506 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,289 ♪ YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ 507 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,158 THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ ONCE MORE WITH FEELING ♪ 508 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,092 ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ ONCE MORE WITH FEELING ♪ ♪ GIVE ME LOVE, 509 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,693 ♪ ONCE MORE WITH FEELING ♪ ♪ GIVE ME LOVE, GIVE ME LOVE, 510 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:28,097 ♪ GIVE ME LOVE, GIVE ME LOVE, GIVE ME LOVE, 511 00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:33,124 GIVE ME LOVE, GIVE ME LOVE, LO-O-O-VE ♪ 512 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:08,371 ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ MAKE LOVE WITH AFFECTION ♪ ♪ SING ME ANOTHER LOVE SONG ♪ 513 00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:09,372 ♪ MAKE LOVE WITH AFFECTION ♪ ♪ SING ME ANOTHER LOVE SONG ♪ ♪ BUT THIS TIME 514 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,040 ♪ SING ME ANOTHER LOVE SONG ♪ ♪ BUT THIS TIME WITH A LITTLE DEDICATION ♪ 515 00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:12,441 ♪ BUT THIS TIME WITH A LITTLE DEDICATION ♪ ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ 516 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,410 WITH A LITTLE DEDICATION ♪ ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ 517 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:15,478 ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW 518 00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,779 ♪ SING IT, SING IT ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ♪ 519 00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:20,649 ♪ YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ 520 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,285 THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ WITH AFFECTION ♪ 521 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,287 ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ WITH AFFECTION ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ 522 00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:28,290 ♪ WITH AFFECTION ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ ONCE MORE WITH FEELING ♪ 523 00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:33,896 ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ ONCE MORE WITH FEELING ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ 524 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,499 ♪ ONCE MORE WITH FEELING ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ ONCE MORE ♪ 525 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,734 ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ ONCE MORE ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ♪ 526 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:39,468 ♪ ONCE MORE ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ♪ ♪ LOVER ♪ 527 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:44,507 ♪ YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ♪ ♪ LOVER ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ 528 00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:51,347 ♪ LOVER ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ 529 00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:54,305 ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ ♪ WHOO-HOO ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 530 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:19,297 [PIANO PLAYS LOU RAWLS' "YOU'LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER LOVE LIKE MINE"] 531 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:36,092 JEAN, THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE BY NOW. I JUST KNOW THEY'RE NOT GONNA 532 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:36,559 HERE BY NOW. I JUST KNOW THEY'RE NOT GONNA SHOW. 533 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,160 I JUST KNOW THEY'RE NOT GONNA SHOW. WELL, JOAN WENT TO CALL. 534 00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,795 SHOW. WELL, JOAN WENT TO CALL. I WISH WE COULD MEET SOME 535 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,430 WELL, JOAN WENT TO CALL. I WISH WE COULD MEET SOME DIFFERENT KIND OF GUYS FOR A 536 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,030 I WISH WE COULD MEET SOME DIFFERENT KIND OF GUYS FOR A CHANGE. 537 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,665 DIFFERENT KIND OF GUYS FOR A CHANGE. I MEAN, SOMETHING LIKE THOSE 538 00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,301 CHANGE. I MEAN, SOMETHING LIKE THOSE CONTINENTAL TYPE OVER THERE. 539 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,202 I MEAN, SOMETHING LIKE THOSE CONTINENTAL TYPE OVER THERE. OH, I KNOW. 540 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,769 CONTINENTAL TYPE OVER THERE. OH, I KNOW. ALL WE EVER DATE ARE THE SAME 541 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,105 OH, I KNOW. ALL WE EVER DATE ARE THE SAME ALL-AMERICAN HAMBURGERS. 542 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:49,572 ALL WE EVER DATE ARE THE SAME ALL-AMERICAN HAMBURGERS. RIGHT. 543 00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:50,573 ALL-AMERICAN HAMBURGERS. RIGHT. WHY DON'T WE EVER MEET ANY 544 00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:58,481 RIGHT. WHY DON'T WE EVER MEET ANY UNCIRCUMCISED GUYS? 545 00:18:58,505 --> 00:18:59,781 WHY DON'T WE EVER MEET ANY UNCIRCUMCISED GUYS? [Hispanic accent] GOOD 546 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,217 UNCIRCUMCISED GUYS? [Hispanic accent] GOOD EVENING, LOVELY, LOVELY, LOVELY 547 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:01,717 [Hispanic accent] GOOD EVENING, LOVELY, LOVELY, LOVELY LADIES. 548 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,385 EVENING, LOVELY, LOVELY, LOVELY LADIES. ME AND MY COMPANIONS HERE AT THE 549 00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:05,020 LADIES. ME AND MY COMPANIONS HERE AT THE NEXT TABLE WERE HAVING A LITTLE 550 00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,655 ME AND MY COMPANIONS HERE AT THE NEXT TABLE WERE HAVING A LITTLE ARGUMENT, AND WE WERE WONDERING 551 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,157 NEXT TABLE WERE HAVING A LITTLE ARGUMENT, AND WE WERE WONDERING IF PERHAPS YOU COULDN'T HELP 552 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,158 ARGUMENT, AND WE WERE WONDERING IF PERHAPS YOU COULDN'T HELP SETTLE IT FOR US. 553 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:10,493 IF PERHAPS YOU COULDN'T HELP SETTLE IT FOR US. WELL, SURE, IF WE CAN. 554 00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:11,293 SETTLE IT FOR US. WELL, SURE, IF WE CAN. SHOOT. 555 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,461 WELL, SURE, IF WE CAN. SHOOT. YOU SEE, I AM 556 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,762 SHOOT. YOU SEE, I AM RICARDO MONTALBAN. 557 00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:14,796 YOU SEE, I AM RICARDO MONTALBAN. [Hispanic accent] NO, NO, 558 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:15,164 RICARDO MONTALBAN. [Hispanic accent] NO, NO, NO. 559 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:16,865 [Hispanic accent] NO, NO, NO. YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG. 560 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:18,033 NO. YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG. [Hispanic accent] I AM 561 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:18,900 YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG. [Hispanic accent] I AM RICARDO MONTALBAN. 562 00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:20,068 [Hispanic accent] I AM RICARDO MONTALBAN. OR AT LEAST I THINK I AM 563 00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:20,902 RICARDO MONTALBAN. OR AT LEAST I THINK I AM RICARDO MONTALBAN. 564 00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:22,104 OR AT LEAST I THINK I AM RICARDO MONTALBAN. AND THESE TWO GENTLEMAN ARE 565 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:22,938 RICARDO MONTALBAN. AND THESE TWO GENTLEMAN ARE FERNANDO LAMAS AND 566 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:23,606 AND THESE TWO GENTLEMAN ARE FERNANDO LAMAS AND CESAR ROMERO. 567 00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:24,873 FERNANDO LAMAS AND CESAR ROMERO. ALTHOUGH WE ARE A LITTLE 568 00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:26,208 CESAR ROMERO. ALTHOUGH WE ARE A LITTLE CONFUSED ABOUT WHO IS WHO. 569 00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:27,610 ALTHOUGH WE ARE A LITTLE CONFUSED ABOUT WHO IS WHO. EXCUSE US, LOVELY, LOVELY 570 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:28,877 CONFUSED ABOUT WHO IS WHO. EXCUSE US, LOVELY, LOVELY LADIES, BUT THIS IS VERY 571 00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:29,645 EXCUSE US, LOVELY, LOVELY LADIES, BUT THIS IS VERY EMBARRASSING. 572 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:30,946 LADIES, BUT THIS IS VERY EMBARRASSING. WE DON'T KNOW WHO IS WHO. 573 00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,214 EMBARRASSING. WE DON'T KNOW WHO IS WHO. YOU SEE, WE HAVE BEEN 574 00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:33,782 WE DON'T KNOW WHO IS WHO. YOU SEE, WE HAVE BEEN CHUMMING AROUND HOLLYWOOD FOR SO 575 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,083 YOU SEE, WE HAVE BEEN CHUMMING AROUND HOLLYWOOD FOR SO LONG TOGETHER... RICARDO, 576 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,685 CHUMMING AROUND HOLLYWOOD FOR SO LONG TOGETHER... RICARDO, FERNANDO, AND CESAR, THE BEST OF 577 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:37,253 LONG TOGETHER... RICARDO, FERNANDO, AND CESAR, THE BEST OF FRIENDS. 578 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,587 FERNANDO, AND CESAR, THE BEST OF FRIENDS. WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER. 579 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,189 FRIENDS. WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER. WE EAT TOGETHER, DRINK TOGETHER, 580 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:41,423 WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER. WE EAT TOGETHER, DRINK TOGETHER, SLEEP OVER AT EACH OTHER'S 581 00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:42,258 WE EAT TOGETHER, DRINK TOGETHER, SLEEP OVER AT EACH OTHER'S HOLLYWOOD HOMES. 582 00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,792 SLEEP OVER AT EACH OTHER'S HOLLYWOOD HOMES. SOMETIMES, CESAR AND I SLEEP AT 583 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:44,493 HOLLYWOOD HOMES. SOMETIMES, CESAR AND I SLEEP AT FERNANDO'S. 584 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,927 SOMETIMES, CESAR AND I SLEEP AT FERNANDO'S. SOMETIMES, CESAR AND FERNANDO 585 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,229 FERNANDO'S. SOMETIMES, CESAR AND FERNANDO SLEEP AT RICARDO'S HOUSE. 586 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:48,930 SOMETIMES, CESAR AND FERNANDO SLEEP AT RICARDO'S HOUSE. WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. 587 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,366 SLEEP AT RICARDO'S HOUSE. WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. YOU SAID YOU WERE RICARDO. 588 00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,200 WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. YOU SAID YOU WERE RICARDO. [LAUGHS] 589 00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:52,668 YOU SAID YOU WERE RICARDO. [LAUGHS] I THOUGHT I WAS RICARDO. 590 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,537 [LAUGHS] I THOUGHT I WAS RICARDO. YOU SEE, WE ARE ALL SWARTHY, 591 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,372 I THOUGHT I WAS RICARDO. YOU SEE, WE ARE ALL SWARTHY, ROMANTIC HISPANIC HAS-BEENS. 592 00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,906 YOU SEE, WE ARE ALL SWARTHY, ROMANTIC HISPANIC HAS-BEENS. IT'S ALL VERY TERRIBLY 593 00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:58,740 ROMANTIC HISPANIC HAS-BEENS. IT'S ALL VERY TERRIBLY CONFUSING. 594 00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,442 IT'S ALL VERY TERRIBLY CONFUSING. WE DON'T KNOW WHO WE ARE. 595 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,511 CONFUSING. WE DON'T KNOW WHO WE ARE. PERHAPS WE COULD JOIN YOU AT 596 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:03,445 WE DON'T KNOW WHO WE ARE. PERHAPS WE COULD JOIN YOU AT YOUR TABLE? 597 00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,514 PERHAPS WE COULD JOIN YOU AT YOUR TABLE? WELL, WE ARE WAITING FOR OUR 598 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,148 YOUR TABLE? WELL, WE ARE WAITING FOR OUR DATES. 599 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:07,849 WELL, WE ARE WAITING FOR OUR DATES. YEAH, GEORGE HAMILTON, 600 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,251 DATES. YEAH, GEORGE HAMILTON, GEORGE MAHARIS, AND 601 00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:10,452 YEAH, GEORGE HAMILTON, GEORGE MAHARIS, AND GEORGE CHAKIRIS. 602 00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:11,987 GEORGE MAHARIS, AND GEORGE CHAKIRIS. WELL, ACTUALLY, WE, TOO, WERE 603 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,289 GEORGE CHAKIRIS. WELL, ACTUALLY, WE, TOO, WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET SOME VERY 604 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,456 WELL, ACTUALLY, WE, TOO, WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET SOME VERY LOVELY LADIES HERE THIS 605 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,724 SUPPOSED TO MEET SOME VERY LOVELY LADIES HERE THIS EVENING... JILL ST. JOHN, 606 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:16,825 LOVELY LADIES HERE THIS EVENING... JILL ST. JOHN, SUSAN ST. JAMES, AND 607 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:17,726 EVENING... JILL ST. JOHN, SUSAN ST. JAMES, AND EVA MARIE SAINT. 608 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,328 SUSAN ST. JAMES, AND EVA MARIE SAINT. BUT LUCKILY THEY CANCELED OUT, 609 00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:20,663 EVA MARIE SAINT. BUT LUCKILY THEY CANCELED OUT, AND OUR EVENING IS FREE. 610 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,264 BUT LUCKILY THEY CANCELED OUT, AND OUR EVENING IS FREE. SO WE'D LOVE TO JOIN YOU UNTIL 611 00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:23,632 AND OUR EVENING IS FREE. SO WE'D LOVE TO JOIN YOU UNTIL THOSE INSIPID, PRETTY-BOY 612 00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:25,301 SO WE'D LOVE TO JOIN YOU UNTIL THOSE INSIPID, PRETTY-BOY FLASHES IN THE PAN NAMED GEORGE 613 00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,001 THOSE INSIPID, PRETTY-BOY FLASHES IN THE PAN NAMED GEORGE SHOW UP. 614 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,703 FLASHES IN THE PAN NAMED GEORGE SHOW UP. I DON'T SEE WHY NOT. 615 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,771 SHOW UP. I DON'T SEE WHY NOT. OH! 616 00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,139 I DON'T SEE WHY NOT. OH! PLEASE. 617 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:32,841 OH! PLEASE. OH, HI. 618 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,611 PLEASE. OH, HI. BAD NEWS, GIRLS. 619 00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:37,346 OH, HI. BAD NEWS, GIRLS. GEORGE HAMILTON, GEORGE MAHARIS, 620 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:39,014 BAD NEWS, GIRLS. GEORGE HAMILTON, GEORGE MAHARIS, AND GEORGE CHAKIRIS STOOD US UP 621 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:39,981 GEORGE HAMILTON, GEORGE MAHARIS, AND GEORGE CHAKIRIS STOOD US UP FOR OTHER DATES. 622 00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:42,351 AND GEORGE CHAKIRIS STOOD US UP FOR OTHER DATES. WHO? 623 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,587 FOR OTHER DATES. WHO? ELKE SOMMER, BRITT EKLAND, 624 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:45,821 WHO? ELKE SOMMER, BRITT EKLAND, AND MAY BRITT. 625 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:46,655 ELKE SOMMER, BRITT EKLAND, AND MAY BRITT. OH! 626 00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:47,489 AND MAY BRITT. OH! OH, HI! 627 00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,091 OH! OH, HI! I DON'T THINK WE'VE BEEN 628 00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:49,958 OH, HI! I DON'T THINK WE'VE BEEN INTRODUCED. 629 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,493 I DON'T THINK WE'VE BEEN INTRODUCED. MY NAME IS RICARDO MONTALBAN. 630 00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:54,730 INTRODUCED. MY NAME IS RICARDO MONTALBAN. MY NAME IS RICARDO MONTALBAN. 631 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,733 MY NAME IS RICARDO MONTALBAN. MY NAME IS RICARDO MONTALBAN. MY NAME IS RICARDO MONTALBAN. 632 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,901 MY NAME IS RICARDO MONTALBAN. MY NAME IS RICARDO MONTALBAN. TWO OF THESE THREE GENTLEMEN 633 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:00,802 MY NAME IS RICARDO MONTALBAN. TWO OF THESE THREE GENTLEMEN ARE LYING. 634 00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,438 TWO OF THESE THREE GENTLEMEN ARE LYING. WELL, WILL THE REAL 635 00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:04,540 ARE LYING. WELL, WILL THE REAL RICARDO MONTALBAN PLEASE STAND 636 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,876 WELL, WILL THE REAL RICARDO MONTALBAN PLEASE STAND UP? 637 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:11,313 RICARDO MONTALBAN PLEASE STAND UP? [LAUGHS] 638 00:21:11,337 --> 00:21:12,748 UP? [LAUGHS] WE DO THIS EVERY NIGHT. 639 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,618 [LAUGHS] WE DO THIS EVERY NIGHT. JOAN, MEET FERNANDO LAMAS, 640 00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:16,785 WE DO THIS EVERY NIGHT. JOAN, MEET FERNANDO LAMAS, CESAR ROMERO, AND 641 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:17,986 JOAN, MEET FERNANDO LAMAS, CESAR ROMERO, AND RICARDO MONTALBAN. 642 00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:19,855 CESAR ROMERO, AND RICARDO MONTALBAN. WELL, WHO'S WHO? 643 00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:22,458 RICARDO MONTALBAN. WELL, WHO'S WHO? EVEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO'S WHO! 644 00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:23,825 WELL, WHO'S WHO? EVEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO'S WHO! THE ONLY WAY TO TELL IS TO RUN 645 00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:25,160 EVEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO'S WHO! THE ONLY WAY TO TELL IS TO RUN OUT TO THE PARKING LOT AND SEE 646 00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:30,299 THE ONLY WAY TO TELL IS TO RUN OUT TO THE PARKING LOT AND SEE WHOSE CAR KEYS FIT THE CORDOBA. 647 00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:32,768 OUT TO THE PARKING LOT AND SEE WHOSE CAR KEYS FIT THE CORDOBA. BUT MAY I ASSURE YOU THAT OUR 648 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:35,271 WHOSE CAR KEYS FIT THE CORDOBA. BUT MAY I ASSURE YOU THAT OUR CONFUSION IS AS SINCERE AS IT IS 649 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,204 BUT MAY I ASSURE YOU THAT OUR CONFUSION IS AS SINCERE AS IT IS CHARMING? 650 00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:38,741 CONFUSION IS AS SINCERE AS IT IS CHARMING? YOU WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH ME? 651 00:21:38,765 --> 00:21:39,608 CHARMING? YOU WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH ME? NO. 652 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:40,242 YOU WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH ME? NO. OKAY. 653 00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:41,777 NO. OKAY. HOW ABOUT YOU, OVER THERE? 654 00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,145 OKAY. HOW ABOUT YOU, OVER THERE? LITTLE BIT OF MIX MASTER, HUH? 655 00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:43,646 HOW ABOUT YOU, OVER THERE? LITTLE BIT OF MIX MASTER, HUH? COME ON. 656 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:44,079 LITTLE BIT OF MIX MASTER, HUH? COME ON. NO. 657 00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,347 COME ON. NO. BOY, WHAT ABOUT YOU, RIGHT 658 00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:45,748 NO. BOY, WHAT ABOUT YOU, RIGHT HERE? 659 00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:46,582 BOY, WHAT ABOUT YOU, RIGHT HERE? NOT RIGHT NOW. 660 00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:48,116 HERE? NOT RIGHT NOW. OKAY, JUST CHECKING. 661 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,551 NOT RIGHT NOW. OKAY, JUST CHECKING. I GOT PLENTY OF TIME. 662 00:21:49,575 --> 00:21:52,053 OKAY, JUST CHECKING. I GOT PLENTY OF TIME. ZERO ON STYLE, YOU KNOW? 663 00:21:52,077 --> 00:21:53,422 I GOT PLENTY OF TIME. ZERO ON STYLE, YOU KNOW? HEY, WATCH THIS, GUYS. 664 00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:54,222 ZERO ON STYLE, YOU KNOW? HEY, WATCH THIS, GUYS. WATCH THIS. 665 00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:56,158 HEY, WATCH THIS, GUYS. WATCH THIS. YOUR EYES ARE LIKE TINTED OPERA 666 00:21:56,182 --> 00:21:56,858 WATCH THIS. YOUR EYES ARE LIKE TINTED OPERA WINDOWS. 667 00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:58,761 YOUR EYES ARE LIKE TINTED OPERA WINDOWS. YOUR HAIR AND SKIN IS LIKE THE 668 00:21:58,785 --> 00:22:01,630 WINDOWS. YOUR HAIR AND SKIN IS LIKE THE FINEST CORINTHIAN LEATHER. 669 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,031 YOUR HAIR AND SKIN IS LIKE THE FINEST CORINTHIAN LEATHER. HEY, HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR 670 00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:03,599 FINEST CORINTHIAN LEATHER. HEY, HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND YET? 671 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:03,999 HEY, HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND YET? NO. 672 00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,167 MIND YET? NO. OKAY, HOW ABOUT YOU, RIGHT 673 00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:05,668 NO. OKAY, HOW ABOUT YOU, RIGHT OVER HERE? 674 00:22:05,692 --> 00:22:06,502 OKAY, HOW ABOUT YOU, RIGHT OVER HERE? YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND? 675 00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:06,902 OVER HERE? YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND? NO. 676 00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:08,036 YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND? NO. WHAT ABOUT THIS GIRL, RIGHT 677 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:08,437 NO. WHAT ABOUT THIS GIRL, RIGHT HERE? 678 00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:08,870 WHAT ABOUT THIS GIRL, RIGHT HERE? NO. 679 00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:10,071 HERE? NO. OKAY, JUST LET ME KNOW. 680 00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:10,906 NO. OKAY, JUST LET ME KNOW. I'M IN NO HURRY. 681 00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:11,840 OKAY, JUST LET ME KNOW. I'M IN NO HURRY. I'LL BE RIGHT HERE. 682 00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:12,775 I'M IN NO HURRY. I'LL BE RIGHT HERE. WAIT A MINUTE. 683 00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:14,310 I'LL BE RIGHT HERE. WAIT A MINUTE. I THINK I CAN FIGURE OUT WHO YOU 684 00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:14,677 WAIT A MINUTE. I THINK I CAN FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE. 685 00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:16,912 I THINK I CAN FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE. LET ME SEE YOUR CAR KEYS. 686 00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:18,213 ARE. LET ME SEE YOUR CAR KEYS. CERTAINLY. 687 00:22:18,237 --> 00:22:19,715 LET ME SEE YOUR CAR KEYS. CERTAINLY. GLAD TO COMPLY, LOVELY LADY. 688 00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:22,250 CERTAINLY. GLAD TO COMPLY, LOVELY LADY. AND TO MY HEART, AS WELL. 689 00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:25,187 GLAD TO COMPLY, LOVELY LADY. AND TO MY HEART, AS WELL. OKAY, MATADOR, GRANADA, AND 690 00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:26,355 AND TO MY HEART, AS WELL. OKAY, MATADOR, GRANADA, AND CORDOBA. 691 00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:28,424 OKAY, MATADOR, GRANADA, AND CORDOBA. YOU ARE RICARDO. 692 00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:30,158 CORDOBA. YOU ARE RICARDO. RICKY RICARDO? 693 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,327 YOU ARE RICARDO. RICKY RICARDO? STUPID FOOL! 694 00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:32,861 RICKY RICARDO? STUPID FOOL! AT LEAST WE KNOW THAT. 695 00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:34,196 STUPID FOOL! AT LEAST WE KNOW THAT. NONE OF US HERE IS 696 00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:35,297 AT LEAST WE KNOW THAT. NONE OF US HERE IS RICKY RICARDO! 697 00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:36,332 NONE OF US HERE IS RICKY RICARDO! OF COURSE! 698 00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:37,933 RICKY RICARDO! OF COURSE! I AM RICARDO MONTALBAN! 699 00:22:37,957 --> 00:22:38,967 OF COURSE! I AM RICARDO MONTALBAN! RIGHT! 700 00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:40,168 I AM RICARDO MONTALBAN! RIGHT! MY COMMERCIAL ENDORSEMENTS... 701 00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,236 RIGHT! MY COMMERCIAL ENDORSEMENTS... IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME. 702 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,038 MY COMMERCIAL ENDORSEMENTS... IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME. AS A SPANIARD, I LOVE TO FEEL 703 00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:44,840 IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME. AS A SPANIARD, I LOVE TO FEEL THE WIND AND FIRE IN MY FACE. 704 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,742 AS A SPANIARD, I LOVE TO FEEL THE WIND AND FIRE IN MY FACE. WHEN I CHOOSE A CAR, I CHOOSE A 705 00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:48,677 THE WIND AND FIRE IN MY FACE. WHEN I CHOOSE A CAR, I CHOOSE A CAR WITH A CERTAIN SPIRIT, A CAR 706 00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:50,546 WHEN I CHOOSE A CAR, I CHOOSE A CAR WITH A CERTAIN SPIRIT, A CAR THAT WILL... YOU KNOW, I MEAN, 707 00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:51,647 CAR WITH A CERTAIN SPIRIT, A CAR THAT WILL... YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THE COMMERCIALS. 708 00:22:51,671 --> 00:22:52,848 THAT WILL... YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THE COMMERCIALS. THEY'RE RUNNING ALL OVER THE 709 00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:53,248 THE COMMERCIALS. THEY'RE RUNNING ALL OVER THE PLACE. 710 00:22:53,272 --> 00:22:54,916 THEY'RE RUNNING ALL OVER THE PLACE. OKAY, OKAY, NOW IT'S BETWEEN 711 00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:56,051 PLACE. OKAY, OKAY, NOW IT'S BETWEEN FERNANDO AND CESAR. 712 00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:57,252 OKAY, OKAY, NOW IT'S BETWEEN FERNANDO AND CESAR. OH, WAIT A MINUTE! 713 00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:58,754 FERNANDO AND CESAR. OH, WAIT A MINUTE! I HAVE A PICTURE OF 714 00:22:58,778 --> 00:23:00,021 OH, WAIT A MINUTE! I HAVE A PICTURE OF FERNANDO LAMAS. 715 00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:02,358 I HAVE A PICTURE OF FERNANDO LAMAS. IT CAME WITH MY WALLET. 716 00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:03,792 FERNANDO LAMAS. IT CAME WITH MY WALLET. THERE. 717 00:23:03,816 --> 00:23:05,627 IT CAME WITH MY WALLET. THERE. THAT'S ME! 718 00:23:05,651 --> 00:23:07,763 THERE. THAT'S ME! SO I'M FERNANDO LAMAS. 719 00:23:07,787 --> 00:23:09,398 THAT'S ME! SO I'M FERNANDO LAMAS. I AM RICARDO. 720 00:23:09,422 --> 00:23:11,032 SO I'M FERNANDO LAMAS. I AM RICARDO. THEN THAT MEANS I AM 721 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:12,067 I AM RICARDO. THEN THAT MEANS I AM CESAR ROMERO. 722 00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:13,235 THEN THAT MEANS I AM CESAR ROMERO. EXCELLENT! 723 00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:15,136 CESAR ROMERO. EXCELLENT! I LOVED MYSELF IN "WEEKEND IN 724 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,973 EXCELLENT! I LOVED MYSELF IN "WEEKEND IN HAVANA." 725 00:23:17,997 --> 00:23:19,842 I LOVED MYSELF IN "WEEKEND IN HAVANA." WAITER, CAN WE HAVE SOME 726 00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:20,909 HAVANA." WAITER, CAN WE HAVE SOME WINE, PLEASE? 727 00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:21,977 WAITER, CAN WE HAVE SOME WINE, PLEASE? WINE FOR THE LADIES. 728 00:23:22,001 --> 00:23:23,746 WINE, PLEASE? WINE FOR THE LADIES. WE ARE CELEBRATING OURSELVES. 729 00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:25,547 WINE FOR THE LADIES. WE ARE CELEBRATING OURSELVES. EXCUSE US, LOVELY, LOVELY 730 00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:26,214 WE ARE CELEBRATING OURSELVES. EXCUSE US, LOVELY, LOVELY LADIES. 731 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,283 EXCUSE US, LOVELY, LOVELY LADIES. BUT PERHAPS YOU CAN HELP US. 732 00:23:28,307 --> 00:23:30,085 LADIES. BUT PERHAPS YOU CAN HELP US. I AM EITHER SERGIO FRANCHI, 733 00:23:30,109 --> 00:23:31,387 BUT PERHAPS YOU CAN HELP US. I AM EITHER SERGIO FRANCHI, ROSSANO BRAZZI, OR 734 00:23:31,411 --> 00:23:32,421 I AM EITHER SERGIO FRANCHI, ROSSANO BRAZZI, OR ENZO STUARTI. 735 00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:34,122 ROSSANO BRAZZI, OR ENZO STUARTI. All: YOU SEE, WE ARE A BIT 736 00:23:34,146 --> 00:23:34,823 ENZO STUARTI. All: YOU SEE, WE ARE A BIT CONFUSED. 737 00:23:34,847 --> 00:23:36,392 All: YOU SEE, WE ARE A BIT CONFUSED. LET'S SEE YOUR KEYS, BOYS. 738 00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:37,893 CONFUSED. LET'S SEE YOUR KEYS, BOYS. WHOEVER'S DRIVING THE VOLARE 739 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:41,285 LET'S SEE YOUR KEYS, BOYS. WHOEVER'S DRIVING THE VOLARE MUST BE SERGIO FRANCHI. 740 00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:58,814 Announcer: AND NOW "WEEKEND UPDATE," WITH JANE CURTIN. OH, COME ON. 741 00:23:58,838 --> 00:23:59,815 UPDATE," WITH JANE CURTIN. OH, COME ON. GIVE ME A BREAK. 742 00:23:59,839 --> 00:24:01,283 OH, COME ON. GIVE ME A BREAK. I MEAN, SO THE GUY HAS HIS 743 00:24:01,307 --> 00:24:01,917 GIVE ME A BREAK. I MEAN, SO THE GUY HAS HIS SPECIAL. 744 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,519 I MEAN, SO THE GUY HAS HIS SPECIAL. DOES THAT MAKE HIM A STAR? 745 00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:05,253 SPECIAL. DOES THAT MAKE HIM A STAR? OKAY, YEAH, GRANTED, THE RATINGS 746 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,688 DOES THAT MAKE HIM A STAR? OKAY, YEAH, GRANTED, THE RATINGS WERE GOOD, BUT HE FOLLOWED 747 00:24:06,712 --> 00:24:07,556 OKAY, YEAH, GRANTED, THE RATINGS WERE GOOD, BUT HE FOLLOWED RICHARD PRYOR! 748 00:24:07,580 --> 00:24:09,725 WERE GOOD, BUT HE FOLLOWED RICHARD PRYOR! RICHARD PRYOR'S WONDERFUL! 749 00:24:09,749 --> 00:24:11,393 RICHARD PRYOR! RICHARD PRYOR'S WONDERFUL! WHO'S GONNA GET UP AND TURN THE 750 00:24:11,417 --> 00:24:13,495 RICHARD PRYOR'S WONDERFUL! WHO'S GONNA GET UP AND TURN THE TV OFF WHEN THEY'RE LAUGHING? 751 00:24:13,519 --> 00:24:15,230 WHO'S GONNA GET UP AND TURN THE TV OFF WHEN THEY'RE LAUGHING? OH, DID YOU SEE HIM ON THE 752 00:24:15,254 --> 00:24:16,197 TV OFF WHEN THEY'RE LAUGHING? OH, DID YOU SEE HIM ON THE CARSON SHOW? 753 00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:17,433 OH, DID YOU SEE HIM ON THE CARSON SHOW? I HAVE TO ADMIT, I LOVED HIM ON 754 00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:17,833 CARSON SHOW? I HAVE TO ADMIT, I LOVED HIM ON THAT. 755 00:24:17,857 --> 00:24:19,568 I HAVE TO ADMIT, I LOVED HIM ON THAT. MY FAVORITE PART WAS WHEN HE 756 00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:20,702 THAT. MY FAVORITE PART WAS WHEN HE ASKED HIS WIFE TO STAND UP IN 757 00:24:20,726 --> 00:24:21,770 MY FAVORITE PART WAS WHEN HE ASKED HIS WIFE TO STAND UP IN THE AUDIENCE. 758 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:23,004 ASKED HIS WIFE TO STAND UP IN THE AUDIENCE. IT WAS JUST LIKE STEVE ALLEN AND 759 00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:25,140 THE AUDIENCE. IT WAS JUST LIKE STEVE ALLEN AND JAYNE MEADOWS. 760 00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:26,041 IT WAS JUST LIKE STEVE ALLEN AND JAYNE MEADOWS. OH, I-I GOT TO GO. 761 00:24:26,065 --> 00:24:27,676 JAYNE MEADOWS. OH, I-I GOT TO GO. BYE. 762 00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:29,511 OH, I-I GOT TO GO. BYE. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... 763 00:24:29,535 --> 00:24:31,346 BYE. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... IN A SPECTACULAR COUP, THE 764 00:24:31,370 --> 00:24:33,381 OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... IN A SPECTACULAR COUP, THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY 765 00:24:33,405 --> 00:24:35,050 IN A SPECTACULAR COUP, THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY HAS SIGNED HEAVYWEIGHT BOXER 766 00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:37,252 NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY HAS SIGNED HEAVYWEIGHT BOXER DUANE BOBICK TO AN EXCLUSIVE 767 00:24:37,276 --> 00:24:39,287 HAS SIGNED HEAVYWEIGHT BOXER DUANE BOBICK TO AN EXCLUSIVE 5-YEAR CONTRACT AS A NETWORK 768 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:40,255 DUANE BOBICK TO AN EXCLUSIVE 5-YEAR CONTRACT AS A NETWORK PERSONALITY. 769 00:24:40,279 --> 00:24:41,824 5-YEAR CONTRACT AS A NETWORK PERSONALITY. BEATING OUT THE OTHER NETWORKS, 770 00:24:41,848 --> 00:24:43,425 PERSONALITY. BEATING OUT THE OTHER NETWORKS, THE CONTRACT WAS SIGNED JUST 771 00:24:43,449 --> 00:24:45,327 BEATING OUT THE OTHER NETWORKS, THE CONTRACT WAS SIGNED JUST SECONDS BEFORE BOBICK STEPPED 772 00:24:45,351 --> 00:24:46,929 THE CONTRACT WAS SIGNED JUST SECONDS BEFORE BOBICK STEPPED INTO THE RING WITH KEN NORTON. 773 00:24:46,953 --> 00:24:49,264 SECONDS BEFORE BOBICK STEPPED INTO THE RING WITH KEN NORTON. ASKED TO COMMENT, BOBICK SAID... 774 00:24:49,288 --> 00:24:54,470 INTO THE RING WITH KEN NORTON. ASKED TO COMMENT, BOBICK SAID... [IMITATING DONALD DUCK] 775 00:24:54,494 --> 00:24:57,539 ASKED TO COMMENT, BOBICK SAID... [IMITATING DONALD DUCK] TV PERSONALITY DAVID FROST, 776 00:24:57,563 --> 00:24:59,140 [IMITATING DONALD DUCK] TV PERSONALITY DAVID FROST, INSPIRED BY THE SUCCESS OF HIS 777 00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:00,642 TV PERSONALITY DAVID FROST, INSPIRED BY THE SUCCESS OF HIS NIXON INTERVIEWS, HAS ANNOUNCED 778 00:25:00,666 --> 00:25:02,143 INSPIRED BY THE SUCCESS OF HIS NIXON INTERVIEWS, HAS ANNOUNCED PLANS TO INTERVIEW FORMER 779 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,212 NIXON INTERVIEWS, HAS ANNOUNCED PLANS TO INTERVIEW FORMER PRESIDENTS JOHNSON, KENNEDY, 780 00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:05,447 PLANS TO INTERVIEW FORMER PRESIDENTS JOHNSON, KENNEDY, EISENHOWER, TRUMAN, AND 781 00:25:05,471 --> 00:25:06,548 PRESIDENTS JOHNSON, KENNEDY, EISENHOWER, TRUMAN, AND ROOSEVELT. 782 00:25:06,572 --> 00:25:08,350 EISENHOWER, TRUMAN, AND ROOSEVELT. ANSWERING COMMENTS THAT THE PLAN 783 00:25:08,374 --> 00:25:10,251 ROOSEVELT. ANSWERING COMMENTS THAT THE PLAN SEEMED PREPOSTEROUS, FROST SAID, 784 00:25:10,275 --> 00:25:11,553 ANSWERING COMMENTS THAT THE PLAN SEEMED PREPOSTEROUS, FROST SAID, "IF PEOPLE BELIEVE NIXON, 785 00:25:11,577 --> 00:25:16,191 SEEMED PREPOSTEROUS, FROST SAID, "IF PEOPLE BELIEVE NIXON, THEY'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING." 786 00:25:16,215 --> 00:25:18,193 "IF PEOPLE BELIEVE NIXON, THEY'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING." WHILE IN LONDON FOR LAST WEEK'S 787 00:25:18,217 --> 00:25:19,828 THEY'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING." WHILE IN LONDON FOR LAST WEEK'S SUMMIT MEETING, PRESIDENT CARTER 788 00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:21,162 WHILE IN LONDON FOR LAST WEEK'S SUMMIT MEETING, PRESIDENT CARTER RECOMMENDED THAT ONE OF HIS 789 00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:23,164 SUMMIT MEETING, PRESIDENT CARTER RECOMMENDED THAT ONE OF HIS FAVORITE POETS, DYLAN THOMAS, BE 790 00:25:23,188 --> 00:25:25,233 RECOMMENDED THAT ONE OF HIS FAVORITE POETS, DYLAN THOMAS, BE REMOVED FROM HIS GRAVE IN WALES 791 00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:27,002 FAVORITE POETS, DYLAN THOMAS, BE REMOVED FROM HIS GRAVE IN WALES AND ENSHRINED IN HISTORIC 792 00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:28,236 REMOVED FROM HIS GRAVE IN WALES AND ENSHRINED IN HISTORIC WESTMINSTER ABBEY. 793 00:25:28,260 --> 00:25:30,071 AND ENSHRINED IN HISTORIC WESTMINSTER ABBEY. CARTER ALSO REQUESTED THAT 794 00:25:30,095 --> 00:25:31,473 WESTMINSTER ABBEY. CARTER ALSO REQUESTED THAT ANOTHER OF HIS FAVORITE POETS, 795 00:25:31,497 --> 00:25:33,108 CARTER ALSO REQUESTED THAT ANOTHER OF HIS FAVORITE POETS, ROD McKUEN, BE BURIED IN THE 796 00:25:33,132 --> 00:25:37,112 ANOTHER OF HIS FAVORITE POETS, ROD McKUEN, BE BURIED IN THE ABBEY IMMEDIATELY. 797 00:25:37,136 --> 00:25:38,780 ROD McKUEN, BE BURIED IN THE ABBEY IMMEDIATELY. PATTY HEARST, SHOWN HERE 798 00:25:38,804 --> 00:25:40,382 ABBEY IMMEDIATELY. PATTY HEARST, SHOWN HERE RELAXING ON THE LAWN AT 799 00:25:40,406 --> 00:25:42,317 PATTY HEARST, SHOWN HERE RELAXING ON THE LAWN AT SAN SIMEON, WAS PLACED ON FIVE 800 00:25:42,341 --> 00:25:43,919 RELAXING ON THE LAWN AT SAN SIMEON, WAS PLACED ON FIVE YEARS' PROBATION FOR HER 801 00:25:43,943 --> 00:25:45,787 SAN SIMEON, WAS PLACED ON FIVE YEARS' PROBATION FOR HER ARMED-ROBBERY AND ASSAULT CHARGE 802 00:25:45,811 --> 00:25:47,656 YEARS' PROBATION FOR HER ARMED-ROBBERY AND ASSAULT CHARGE AND ORDERED TO PAY $6,000 IN 803 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:48,957 ARMED-ROBBERY AND ASSAULT CHARGE AND ORDERED TO PAY $6,000 IN PROPERTY DAMAGE. 804 00:25:48,981 --> 00:25:50,659 AND ORDERED TO PAY $6,000 IN PROPERTY DAMAGE. DESPITE RUMORS OF ROMANCE, 805 00:25:50,683 --> 00:25:52,127 PROPERTY DAMAGE. DESPITE RUMORS OF ROMANCE, MISS HEARST SAYS SHE HAS NO 806 00:25:52,151 --> 00:25:53,829 DESPITE RUMORS OF ROMANCE, MISS HEARST SAYS SHE HAS NO PLANS, COMMENTING, "I DON'T WANT 807 00:25:53,853 --> 00:25:55,163 MISS HEARST SAYS SHE HAS NO PLANS, COMMENTING, "I DON'T WANT TO MARRY AND SETTLE DOWN BEFORE 808 00:25:55,187 --> 00:25:56,532 PLANS, COMMENTING, "I DON'T WANT TO MARRY AND SETTLE DOWN BEFORE I'VE HAD A LITTLE EXCITEMENT IN 809 00:25:56,556 --> 00:25:59,968 TO MARRY AND SETTLE DOWN BEFORE I'VE HAD A LITTLE EXCITEMENT IN MY LIFE." 810 00:25:59,992 --> 00:26:01,637 I'VE HAD A LITTLE EXCITEMENT IN MY LIFE." 64-YEAR-OLD COWBOY ROY ROGERS 811 00:26:01,661 --> 00:26:03,204 MY LIFE." 64-YEAR-OLD COWBOY ROY ROGERS STATED THIS WEEK THAT WHEN HE 812 00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:04,606 64-YEAR-OLD COWBOY ROY ROGERS STATED THIS WEEK THAT WHEN HE DIES, HE WOULD LIKE TO BE 813 00:26:04,630 --> 00:26:06,441 STATED THIS WEEK THAT WHEN HE DIES, HE WOULD LIKE TO BE STUFFED AND MOUNTED ON TOP OF 814 00:26:06,465 --> 00:26:08,309 DIES, HE WOULD LIKE TO BE STUFFED AND MOUNTED ON TOP OF TRIGGER, HIS DEAD HORSE, WHO IS 815 00:26:08,333 --> 00:26:10,245 STUFFED AND MOUNTED ON TOP OF TRIGGER, HIS DEAD HORSE, WHO IS ALSO STUFFED AND MOUNTED. 816 00:26:10,269 --> 00:26:11,847 TRIGGER, HIS DEAD HORSE, WHO IS ALSO STUFFED AND MOUNTED. WHEN ASKED TO COMMENT ON THIS, 817 00:26:11,871 --> 00:26:13,582 ALSO STUFFED AND MOUNTED. WHEN ASKED TO COMMENT ON THIS, DALE EVANS, ROY'S AFFECTIONATE 818 00:26:13,606 --> 00:26:15,350 WHEN ASKED TO COMMENT ON THIS, DALE EVANS, ROY'S AFFECTIONATE WIFE, SAID THAT SHE, TOO, WOULD 819 00:26:15,374 --> 00:26:17,052 DALE EVANS, ROY'S AFFECTIONATE WIFE, SAID THAT SHE, TOO, WOULD LIKE TO BE STUFFED AND MOUNTED 820 00:26:17,076 --> 00:26:18,353 WIFE, SAID THAT SHE, TOO, WOULD LIKE TO BE STUFFED AND MOUNTED BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT 821 00:26:18,377 --> 00:26:23,959 LIKE TO BE STUFFED AND MOUNTED BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER. 822 00:26:23,983 --> 00:26:25,961 BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER. A FILM EXPERT CLAIMED THIS WEEK 823 00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:27,829 ORDER. A FILM EXPERT CLAIMED THIS WEEK THAT THERE IS A FIFTH FACE ON 824 00:26:27,853 --> 00:26:28,997 A FILM EXPERT CLAIMED THIS WEEK THAT THERE IS A FIFTH FACE ON THE NATIONAL MONUMENT 825 00:26:29,021 --> 00:26:29,898 THAT THERE IS A FIFTH FACE ON THE NATIONAL MONUMENT MOUNT RUSHMORE. 826 00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:32,067 THE NATIONAL MONUMENT MOUNT RUSHMORE. LARGER AND MORE SUBTLY DEFINED 827 00:26:32,091 --> 00:26:33,569 MOUNT RUSHMORE. LARGER AND MORE SUBTLY DEFINED THAN THE FOUR PRESIDENTS' FACES, 828 00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:35,136 LARGER AND MORE SUBTLY DEFINED THAN THE FOUR PRESIDENTS' FACES, IT IS BELIEVED TO BE THE PROFILE 829 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,440 THAN THE FOUR PRESIDENTS' FACES, IT IS BELIEVED TO BE THE PROFILE OF COMEDIAN DAVID BRENNER. 830 00:26:38,464 --> 00:26:40,909 IT IS BELIEVED TO BE THE PROFILE OF COMEDIAN DAVID BRENNER. IN SPORTS, JACK NICKLAUS WON THE 831 00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:42,343 OF COMEDIAN DAVID BRENNER. IN SPORTS, JACK NICKLAUS WON THE THIRD ANNUAL QUAKER OATS 832 00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:43,712 IN SPORTS, JACK NICKLAUS WON THE THIRD ANNUAL QUAKER OATS INVITATIONAL. 833 00:26:43,736 --> 00:26:44,913 THIRD ANNUAL QUAKER OATS INVITATIONAL. HE IS SHOWN HERE CLINCHING 834 00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:46,214 INVITATIONAL. HE IS SHOWN HERE CLINCHING VICTORY BY BLASTING OUT OF AN 835 00:26:46,238 --> 00:26:47,783 HE IS SHOWN HERE CLINCHING VICTORY BY BLASTING OUT OF AN OATMEAL TRAP DIRECTLY INTO AN 836 00:26:47,807 --> 00:26:53,154 VICTORY BY BLASTING OUT OF AN OATMEAL TRAP DIRECTLY INTO AN EGG CUP. 837 00:26:53,178 --> 00:26:54,923 OATMEAL TRAP DIRECTLY INTO AN EGG CUP. WELL, WATERGATE COVER-UP 838 00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:56,892 EGG CUP. WELL, WATERGATE COVER-UP CO-CONSPIRATORS JOHN MITCHELL, 839 00:26:56,916 --> 00:26:58,359 WELL, WATERGATE COVER-UP CO-CONSPIRATORS JOHN MITCHELL, JOHN E. EHRLICHMAN, AND 840 00:26:58,383 --> 00:26:59,928 CO-CONSPIRATORS JOHN MITCHELL, JOHN E. EHRLICHMAN, AND "CUBBY" HALDEMAN HAVE BEEN 841 00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:01,663 JOHN E. EHRLICHMAN, AND "CUBBY" HALDEMAN HAVE BEEN SIGNED AS MOUSEKETEERS ON THE 842 00:27:01,687 --> 00:27:03,364 "CUBBY" HALDEMAN HAVE BEEN SIGNED AS MOUSEKETEERS ON THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB TV SERIES. 843 00:27:03,388 --> 00:27:05,067 SIGNED AS MOUSEKETEERS ON THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB TV SERIES. WHEN ASKED TO COMMENT ON THIS 844 00:27:05,091 --> 00:27:06,501 MICKEY MOUSE CLUB TV SERIES. WHEN ASKED TO COMMENT ON THIS UNUSUAL MOVE, THE THREE 845 00:27:06,525 --> 00:27:09,004 WHEN ASKED TO COMMENT ON THIS UNUSUAL MOVE, THE THREE DEFENDANTS SAID IN UNISON, "WHY? 846 00:27:09,028 --> 00:27:12,273 UNUSUAL MOVE, THE THREE DEFENDANTS SAID IN UNISON, "WHY? BECAUSE WE LIKE YOU!" 847 00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:14,142 DEFENDANTS SAID IN UNISON, "WHY? BECAUSE WE LIKE YOU!" STILL TO COME... JAPANESE 848 00:27:14,166 --> 00:27:15,978 BECAUSE WE LIKE YOU!" STILL TO COME... JAPANESE CEREMONIAL WIFE-DROWNING AFTER 849 00:27:16,002 --> 00:27:19,837 STILL TO COME... JAPANESE CEREMONIAL WIFE-DROWNING AFTER THIS MESSAGE. 850 00:27:20,105 --> 00:27:21,972 [BELL DINGS] 851 00:27:22,107 --> 00:27:23,707 YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS A 852 00:27:23,842 --> 00:27:24,508 CRIME. 853 00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,677 HELLO, THIS IS DUANE BOBICK. 854 00:27:26,811 --> 00:27:28,712 ACCORDING TO STATISTICS, EVERY 855 00:27:28,847 --> 00:27:30,447 58 SECONDS A WHITE MAN IS 856 00:27:30,581 --> 00:27:32,616 BRUTALLY BEATEN BY A BLACK MAN. 857 00:27:32,751 --> 00:27:34,417 THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY THE 858 00:27:34,552 --> 00:27:36,120 FAULT OF THE BLACK MAN, BECAUSE 859 00:27:36,254 --> 00:27:37,755 ENVIRONMENTAL AND SOCIETAL 860 00:27:37,889 --> 00:27:39,189 CONDITIONS SOMETIMES LEAVE HIM 861 00:27:39,323 --> 00:27:40,323 NO CHOICE. 862 00:27:40,391 --> 00:27:44,439 THAT'S WHERE THE BLACK EDUCATIONAL CONFERENCE COMES IN. THEY HAVE SHOWN THOUSANDS OF 863 00:27:44,463 --> 00:27:46,074 EDUCATIONAL CONFERENCE COMES IN. THEY HAVE SHOWN THOUSANDS OF BLACK MEN THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE 864 00:27:46,098 --> 00:27:47,609 THEY HAVE SHOWN THOUSANDS OF BLACK MEN THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE TO RESORT TO VIOLENCE TO PROVE 865 00:27:47,633 --> 00:27:48,877 BLACK MEN THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE TO RESORT TO VIOLENCE TO PROVE THEIR MASCULINITY. 866 00:27:48,901 --> 00:27:50,445 TO RESORT TO VIOLENCE TO PROVE THEIR MASCULINITY. THEY'VE SHOWN BLACKS HOW TO FIND 867 00:27:50,469 --> 00:27:51,780 THEIR MASCULINITY. THEY'VE SHOWN BLACKS HOW TO FIND RICH, FULFILLING, AND 868 00:27:51,804 --> 00:27:53,214 THEY'VE SHOWN BLACKS HOW TO FIND RICH, FULFILLING, AND NONAGGRESSIVE CAREERS IN THE 869 00:27:53,238 --> 00:27:54,950 RICH, FULFILLING, AND NONAGGRESSIVE CAREERS IN THE FIELDS OF COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY, 870 00:27:54,974 --> 00:27:56,652 NONAGGRESSIVE CAREERS IN THE FIELDS OF COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY, BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION, AND 871 00:27:56,676 --> 00:27:58,654 FIELDS OF COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY, BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION, AND DENTISTRY, THAT THERE ARE 872 00:27:58,678 --> 00:28:00,321 BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION, AND DENTISTRY, THAT THERE ARE SATISFACTIONS IN LIFE OTHER THAN 873 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:02,223 DENTISTRY, THAT THERE ARE SATISFACTIONS IN LIFE OTHER THAN BEATING UP ON WHITEY. 874 00:28:02,247 --> 00:28:04,793 SATISFACTIONS IN LIFE OTHER THAN BEATING UP ON WHITEY. THEY SUFFERED FOR 400 YEARS, 875 00:28:04,817 --> 00:28:06,094 BEATING UP ON WHITEY. THEY SUFFERED FOR 400 YEARS, AND WE'RE SORRY ABOUT IT. 876 00:28:06,118 --> 00:28:07,963 THEY SUFFERED FOR 400 YEARS, AND WE'RE SORRY ABOUT IT. I'VE SEEN "ROOTS" AND SO HAVE 877 00:28:07,987 --> 00:28:08,429 AND WE'RE SORRY ABOUT IT. I'VE SEEN "ROOTS" AND SO HAVE YOU. 878 00:28:08,453 --> 00:28:10,398 I'VE SEEN "ROOTS" AND SO HAVE YOU. LET'S GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO USE 879 00:28:10,422 --> 00:28:11,499 YOU. LET'S GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO USE THEIR MINDS. 880 00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:13,035 LET'S GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO USE THEIR MINDS. REMEMBER, A BETTER-EDUCATED 881 00:28:13,059 --> 00:28:15,070 THEIR MINDS. REMEMBER, A BETTER-EDUCATED BLACK MAN IS A WEAKER OPPONENT. 882 00:28:15,094 --> 00:28:17,072 REMEMBER, A BETTER-EDUCATED BLACK MAN IS A WEAKER OPPONENT. SHOW THEM HOW SORRY WE ARE. 883 00:28:17,096 --> 00:28:18,874 BLACK MAN IS A WEAKER OPPONENT. SHOW THEM HOW SORRY WE ARE. HELP THE BLACK MAN GAIN RESPECT 884 00:28:18,898 --> 00:28:19,975 SHOW THEM HOW SORRY WE ARE. HELP THE BLACK MAN GAIN RESPECT FOR THEMSELVES. 885 00:28:19,999 --> 00:28:21,910 HELP THE BLACK MAN GAIN RESPECT FOR THEMSELVES. I KNOW I HAVE. 886 00:28:21,934 --> 00:28:23,178 FOR THEMSELVES. I KNOW I HAVE. Announcer: SEND MONEY TO 887 00:28:23,202 --> 00:28:24,579 I KNOW I HAVE. Announcer: SEND MONEY TO BLACK EDUCATIONAL CONFERENCE, 888 00:28:24,603 --> 00:28:25,881 Announcer: SEND MONEY TO BLACK EDUCATIONAL CONFERENCE, BOX 58, NEW YORK. 889 00:28:25,905 --> 00:28:28,345 BLACK EDUCATIONAL CONFERENCE, BOX 58, NEW YORK. AND REMEMBER... 890 00:28:36,915 --> 00:28:41,863 THE MAKERS OF THE MR. COFFEE APPLIANCE REVEALED THIS WEEK THAT OVER A HALF MILLION OF THE 891 00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:43,799 APPLIANCE REVEALED THIS WEEK THAT OVER A HALF MILLION OF THE MACHINES HAVE A DEFECT WHICH MAY 892 00:28:43,823 --> 00:28:45,567 THAT OVER A HALF MILLION OF THE MACHINES HAVE A DEFECT WHICH MAY CAUSE A SHORT CIRCUIT, RESULTING 893 00:28:45,591 --> 00:28:46,201 MACHINES HAVE A DEFECT WHICH MAY CAUSE A SHORT CIRCUIT, RESULTING IN FIRE. 894 00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:48,003 CAUSE A SHORT CIRCUIT, RESULTING IN FIRE. OUR UPDATE CONSUMER DEPARTMENT 895 00:28:48,027 --> 00:28:49,470 IN FIRE. OUR UPDATE CONSUMER DEPARTMENT REPORTS THAT THE MR. COFFEE 896 00:28:49,494 --> 00:28:51,239 OUR UPDATE CONSUMER DEPARTMENT REPORTS THAT THE MR. COFFEE MANUFACTURER DOES NOT PLAN TO 897 00:28:51,263 --> 00:28:53,141 REPORTS THAT THE MR. COFFEE MANUFACTURER DOES NOT PLAN TO RECALL THE DANGEROUS UNITS BUT 898 00:28:53,165 --> 00:28:55,177 MANUFACTURER DOES NOT PLAN TO RECALL THE DANGEROUS UNITS BUT WILL INTRODUCE A NEW PRODUCT, 899 00:28:55,201 --> 00:29:00,648 RECALL THE DANGEROUS UNITS BUT WILL INTRODUCE A NEW PRODUCT, MR. FIRE EXTINGUISHER. 900 00:29:00,672 --> 00:29:02,383 WILL INTRODUCE A NEW PRODUCT, MR. FIRE EXTINGUISHER. IN A SURPRISE MOVE THIS WEEK, 901 00:29:02,407 --> 00:29:04,219 MR. FIRE EXTINGUISHER. IN A SURPRISE MOVE THIS WEEK, PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER STRAPPED 902 00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:06,054 IN A SURPRISE MOVE THIS WEEK, PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER STRAPPED THREE STICKS OF DYNAMITE TO HIS 903 00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:07,222 PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER STRAPPED THREE STICKS OF DYNAMITE TO HIS BODY AND MADE HIMSELF INTO A 904 00:29:07,246 --> 00:29:08,623 THREE STICKS OF DYNAMITE TO HIS BODY AND MADE HIMSELF INTO A HUMAN BOMB. 905 00:29:08,647 --> 00:29:09,991 BODY AND MADE HIMSELF INTO A HUMAN BOMB. ADDRESSING CONGRESS, CARTER 906 00:29:10,015 --> 00:29:11,426 HUMAN BOMB. ADDRESSING CONGRESS, CARTER THREATENED TO EXPLODE HIMSELF 907 00:29:11,450 --> 00:29:12,961 ADDRESSING CONGRESS, CARTER THREATENED TO EXPLODE HIMSELF UNLESS ONE OF THE SENIOR MEMBERS 908 00:29:12,985 --> 00:29:14,730 THREATENED TO EXPLODE HIMSELF UNLESS ONE OF THE SENIOR MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE OFFERED TO DATE HIS 909 00:29:14,754 --> 00:29:17,866 UNLESS ONE OF THE SENIOR MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE OFFERED TO DATE HIS AGING MOTHER, LILLIAN. 910 00:29:17,890 --> 00:29:19,634 OF THE HOUSE OFFERED TO DATE HIS AGING MOTHER, LILLIAN. AND NOW WITH TONIGHT'S 911 00:29:19,658 --> 00:29:27,308 AGING MOTHER, LILLIAN. AND NOW WITH TONIGHT'S COMMENTARY IS EMILY LITELLA. 912 00:29:27,332 --> 00:29:29,878 AND NOW WITH TONIGHT'S COMMENTARY IS EMILY LITELLA. I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. 913 00:29:29,902 --> 00:29:34,149 COMMENTARY IS EMILY LITELLA. I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. WHERE THE HELL IS SHE? 914 00:29:34,173 --> 00:29:36,184 I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. WHERE THE HELL IS SHE? FOR GOD'S SAKES. 915 00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:40,355 WHERE THE HELL IS SHE? FOR GOD'S SAKES. IRRESPONSIBLE, ANNOYING WOMAN. 916 00:29:40,379 --> 00:29:47,929 FOR GOD'S SAKES. IRRESPONSIBLE, ANNOYING WOMAN. GOD KNOWS SHE'S NO LONGER FUNNY. 917 00:29:47,953 --> 00:29:49,364 IRRESPONSIBLE, ANNOYING WOMAN. GOD KNOWS SHE'S NO LONGER FUNNY. Hello. 918 00:29:49,388 --> 00:29:51,366 GOD KNOWS SHE'S NO LONGER FUNNY. Hello. This is Emily Litella. 919 00:29:51,390 --> 00:29:53,068 Hello. This is Emily Litella. I'm not home right now, but i 920 00:29:53,092 --> 00:29:55,003 This is Emily Litella. I'm not home right now, but i will call you back as soon as 921 00:29:55,027 --> 00:29:56,238 I'm not home right now, but i will call you back as soon as possible. 922 00:29:56,262 --> 00:29:58,106 Will call you back as soon as possible. Just leave your name, number, 923 00:29:58,130 --> 00:29:59,875 possible. Just leave your name, number, and what time you called after 924 00:29:59,899 --> 00:30:03,178 Just leave your name, number, and what time you called after you hear the sound of the jeep. 925 00:30:03,202 --> 00:30:04,246 And what time you called after you hear the sound of the jeep. [BEEPS] 926 00:30:04,270 --> 00:30:06,714 you hear the sound of the jeep. [BEEPS] EMILY, THAT'S BEEP, NOT JEEP. 927 00:30:06,738 --> 00:30:08,216 [BEEPS] EMILY, THAT'S BEEP, NOT JEEP. A JEEP IS AN ARMY VEHICLE. 928 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:09,651 EMILY, THAT'S BEEP, NOT JEEP. A JEEP IS AN ARMY VEHICLE. A BEEP IS A TONE. 929 00:30:09,675 --> 00:30:10,485 A JEEP IS AN ARMY VEHICLE. A BEEP IS A TONE. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU WERE 930 00:30:10,509 --> 00:30:11,486 A BEEP IS A TONE. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU WERE IN TELEVISION. 931 00:30:11,510 --> 00:30:15,023 YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU WERE IN TELEVISION. BEEP, NOT JEEP! 932 00:30:15,047 --> 00:30:18,559 IN TELEVISION. BEEP, NOT JEEP! Oh, never mind. 933 00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:20,996 BEEP, NOT JEEP! Oh, never mind. STUPID WOMAN. 934 00:30:21,020 --> 00:30:27,535 Oh, never mind. STUPID WOMAN. Bitch. 935 00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:29,137 STUPID WOMAN. Bitch. THAT'S OUR NEWS FOR TONIGHT. 936 00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:30,471 Bitch. THAT'S OUR NEWS FOR TONIGHT. GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT 937 00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:33,295 THAT'S OUR NEWS FOR TONIGHT. GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. 938 00:30:39,204 --> 00:30:42,984 OKAY! OKAY, COLONEL, WE'RE JUST ABOUT READY TO START. 939 00:30:43,008 --> 00:30:45,120 OKAY, COLONEL, WE'RE JUST ABOUT READY TO START. CAN WE HAVE ELVIS IN ONE MINUTE? 940 00:30:45,144 --> 00:30:46,822 READY TO START. CAN WE HAVE ELVIS IN ONE MINUTE? FINE, HONEY. NO PROBLEM. 941 00:30:46,846 --> 00:30:49,424 CAN WE HAVE ELVIS IN ONE MINUTE? FINE, HONEY. NO PROBLEM. SWEET POTATO. 942 00:30:49,448 --> 00:30:51,426 FINE, HONEY. NO PROBLEM. SWEET POTATO. YOU KNOW, COLONEL, THIS SCENE, 943 00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:53,528 SWEET POTATO. YOU KNOW, COLONEL, THIS SCENE, UH, THIS SCENE JUST DOESN'T SEEM 944 00:30:53,552 --> 00:30:54,162 YOU KNOW, COLONEL, THIS SCENE, UH, THIS SCENE JUST DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT. 945 00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:56,264 UH, THIS SCENE JUST DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT. COULD HAVE BEEN FROM ANY MOVIE I 946 00:30:56,288 --> 00:30:57,065 RIGHT. COULD HAVE BEEN FROM ANY MOVIE I EVER DID. 947 00:30:57,089 --> 00:30:57,999 COULD HAVE BEEN FROM ANY MOVIE I EVER DID. UNDERSTAND? 948 00:30:58,023 --> 00:30:59,134 EVER DID. UNDERSTAND? IT'S 1977, MAN. 949 00:30:59,158 --> 00:31:00,702 UNDERSTAND? IT'S 1977, MAN. I'M TELLING YOU, ELVIS, THIS 950 00:31:00,726 --> 00:31:02,103 IT'S 1977, MAN. I'M TELLING YOU, ELVIS, THIS FILM IS GONNA BE DIFFERENT. 951 00:31:02,127 --> 00:31:03,271 I'M TELLING YOU, ELVIS, THIS FILM IS GONNA BE DIFFERENT. IT'S GONNA GIVE YOU AN 952 00:31:03,295 --> 00:31:04,706 FILM IS GONNA BE DIFFERENT. IT'S GONNA GIVE YOU AN OPPORTUNITY TO STRETCH AS AN 953 00:31:04,730 --> 00:31:05,240 IT'S GONNA GIVE YOU AN OPPORTUNITY TO STRETCH AS AN ARTIST. 954 00:31:05,264 --> 00:31:07,108 OPPORTUNITY TO STRETCH AS AN ARTIST. NOW FACE IT, ELVIS. 955 00:31:07,132 --> 00:31:08,676 ARTIST. NOW FACE IT, ELVIS. WITH ALL THE WEIGHT THAT YOU'VE 956 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:10,212 NOW FACE IT, ELVIS. WITH ALL THE WEIGHT THAT YOU'VE PUT ON, YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN TO 957 00:31:10,236 --> 00:31:11,213 WITH ALL THE WEIGHT THAT YOU'VE PUT ON, YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN TO PLAY OTHER THINGS. 958 00:31:11,237 --> 00:31:12,347 PUT ON, YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN TO PLAY OTHER THINGS. I'M SORRY. 959 00:31:12,371 --> 00:31:14,582 PLAY OTHER THINGS. I'M SORRY. WE NEED ELVIS IN JUST A MINUTE, 960 00:31:14,606 --> 00:31:15,516 I'M SORRY. WE NEED ELVIS IN JUST A MINUTE, ALL RIGHT? 961 00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:16,684 WE NEED ELVIS IN JUST A MINUTE, ALL RIGHT? OKAY, THANKS. 962 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,786 ALL RIGHT? OKAY, THANKS. ALL RIGHT, JUST ONE MINUTE. 963 00:31:18,810 --> 00:31:20,989 OKAY, THANKS. ALL RIGHT, JUST ONE MINUTE. I'M SCARED. 964 00:31:21,013 --> 00:31:22,224 ALL RIGHT, JUST ONE MINUTE. I'M SCARED. I'M SCARED. 965 00:31:22,248 --> 00:31:23,959 I'M SCARED. I'M SCARED. ELVIS, IF YOU DO THIS SCENE 966 00:31:23,983 --> 00:31:25,727 I'M SCARED. ELVIS, IF YOU DO THIS SCENE RIGHT, I'M TELLING YOU, ON THE 967 00:31:25,751 --> 00:31:27,562 ELVIS, IF YOU DO THIS SCENE RIGHT, I'M TELLING YOU, ON THE WAY HOME, WE'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO 968 00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:29,364 RIGHT, I'M TELLING YOU, ON THE WAY HOME, WE'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO STOP AT MR. DONUT, AND THAT'S A 969 00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,031 WAY HOME, WE'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO STOP AT MR. DONUT, AND THAT'S A PROMISE. 970 00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:32,067 STOP AT MR. DONUT, AND THAT'S A PROMISE. ALL RIGHT, MR. DONUT. 971 00:31:32,091 --> 00:31:33,168 PROMISE. ALL RIGHT, MR. DONUT. ALL RIGHT. 972 00:31:33,192 --> 00:31:34,102 ALL RIGHT, MR. DONUT. ALL RIGHT. EVERYBODY? 973 00:31:34,126 --> 00:31:36,071 ALL RIGHT. EVERYBODY? EVERYBODY TAKE YOUR PLACES, 974 00:31:36,095 --> 00:31:36,804 EVERYBODY? EVERYBODY TAKE YOUR PLACES, PLEASE. 975 00:31:36,828 --> 00:31:38,639 EVERYBODY TAKE YOUR PLACES, PLEASE. JUST TAKE YOUR PLACES. 976 00:31:38,663 --> 00:31:39,074 PLEASE. JUST TAKE YOUR PLACES. OKAY? 977 00:31:39,098 --> 00:31:39,807 JUST TAKE YOUR PLACES. OKAY? SETTLE DOWN. 978 00:31:39,831 --> 00:31:41,142 OKAY? SETTLE DOWN. LET'S KEEP THE NOISE DOWN. 979 00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:41,642 SETTLE DOWN. LET'S KEEP THE NOISE DOWN. BOBBY? 980 00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:42,643 LET'S KEEP THE NOISE DOWN. BOBBY? BOBBY? ALL RIGHT. 981 00:31:42,667 --> 00:31:43,711 BOBBY? BOBBY? ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET STARTED. 982 00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:45,046 BOBBY? ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET STARTED. "VIVA LAS VEGAS II," 983 00:31:45,070 --> 00:31:46,047 LET'S GET STARTED. "VIVA LAS VEGAS II," NIGHTCLUB SCENE. 984 00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:46,681 "VIVA LAS VEGAS II," NIGHTCLUB SCENE. TAKE ONE. 985 00:31:46,705 --> 00:31:48,216 NIGHTCLUB SCENE. TAKE ONE. READY? ACTION! 986 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:49,351 READY? ACTION! ["CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE" 987 00:31:49,375 --> 00:31:52,175 ["CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE" PLAYS] 988 00:31:57,348 --> 00:32:00,528 I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING, BABY. THESE ARE THE BEST SEATS IN THE 989 00:32:00,552 --> 00:32:00,962 BABY. THESE ARE THE BEST SEATS IN THE HOUSE. 990 00:32:00,986 --> 00:32:02,497 THESE ARE THE BEST SEATS IN THE HOUSE. I HAD TO SLIP THE MAITRE D' A 991 00:32:02,521 --> 00:32:03,999 HOUSE. I HAD TO SLIP THE MAITRE D' A GRAND, BUT I THINK IT'S WORTH 992 00:32:04,023 --> 00:32:04,366 I HAD TO SLIP THE MAITRE D' A GRAND, BUT I THINK IT'S WORTH IT. 993 00:32:04,390 --> 00:32:05,400 GRAND, BUT I THINK IT'S WORTH IT. THIS IS THE HOTTEST SHOW ON THE 994 00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:05,800 IT. THIS IS THE HOTTEST SHOW ON THE STRIP. 995 00:32:05,824 --> 00:32:06,768 THIS IS THE HOTTEST SHOW ON THE STRIP. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT, BABY. 996 00:32:06,792 --> 00:32:08,970 STRIP. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT, BABY. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. 997 00:32:08,994 --> 00:32:10,405 YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT, BABY. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. WE COULD HAVE SAT IN THE BACK. 998 00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:11,206 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. WE COULD HAVE SAT IN THE BACK. [SCOFFS] 999 00:32:11,230 --> 00:32:12,173 WE COULD HAVE SAT IN THE BACK. [SCOFFS] NOT ON YOUR LIFE! 1000 00:32:12,197 --> 00:32:13,508 [SCOFFS] NOT ON YOUR LIFE! WHEN A GIRL GOES OUT WITH 1001 00:32:13,532 --> 00:32:14,976 NOT ON YOUR LIFE! WHEN A GIRL GOES OUT WITH FRANKIE NOLAN, SHE'S GOES IN 1002 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:15,476 WHEN A GIRL GOES OUT WITH FRANKIE NOLAN, SHE'S GOES IN STYLE! 1003 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:16,544 FRANKIE NOLAN, SHE'S GOES IN STYLE! FIRST-CLASS ALL THE WAY. 1004 00:32:16,568 --> 00:32:17,712 STYLE! FIRST-CLASS ALL THE WAY. A THOUSAND BUCKS FOR THESE 1005 00:32:17,736 --> 00:32:18,914 FIRST-CLASS ALL THE WAY. A THOUSAND BUCKS FOR THESE SEATS, BUT IT'S WORTH EVERY 1006 00:32:18,938 --> 00:32:19,314 A THOUSAND BUCKS FOR THESE SEATS, BUT IT'S WORTH EVERY PENNY. 1007 00:32:19,338 --> 00:32:20,248 SEATS, BUT IT'S WORTH EVERY PENNY. IT'S THE HOTTEST SHOW ON THE 1008 00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:20,748 PENNY. IT'S THE HOTTEST SHOW ON THE STRIP, BABY. 1009 00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:21,482 IT'S THE HOTTEST SHOW ON THE STRIP, BABY. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT. 1010 00:32:21,506 --> 00:32:22,784 STRIP, BABY. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT. IT'S GONNA BE GOOD. 1011 00:32:22,808 --> 00:32:24,852 YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT. IT'S GONNA BE GOOD. I'D LIKE SOME COFFEE, PLEASE. 1012 00:32:24,876 --> 00:32:27,956 IT'S GONNA BE GOOD. I'D LIKE SOME COFFEE, PLEASE. HEY, BUSBOY, TWO COFFEES! 1013 00:32:27,980 --> 00:32:29,657 I'D LIKE SOME COFFEE, PLEASE. HEY, BUSBOY, TWO COFFEES! SAY, WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU COME 1014 00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:31,492 HEY, BUSBOY, TWO COFFEES! SAY, WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU COME BACK TO MY PLACE AFTER THE SHOW, 1015 00:32:31,516 --> 00:32:31,927 SAY, WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU COME BACK TO MY PLACE AFTER THE SHOW, HUH? 1016 00:32:31,951 --> 00:32:33,628 BACK TO MY PLACE AFTER THE SHOW, HUH? WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 1017 00:32:33,652 --> 00:32:35,463 HUH? WELL, I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY. 1018 00:32:35,487 --> 00:32:36,298 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY. COME ON! 1019 00:32:36,322 --> 00:32:37,232 I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY. COME ON! I GOT A POOL. 1020 00:32:37,256 --> 00:32:38,733 COME ON! I GOT A POOL. WE COULD GO FOR A LITTLE 1021 00:32:38,757 --> 00:32:39,700 I GOT A POOL. WE COULD GO FOR A LITTLE MIDNIGHT SWIM. 1022 00:32:39,724 --> 00:32:41,369 WE COULD GO FOR A LITTLE MIDNIGHT SWIM. AND AFTERWARDS WE COULD TRY OUT 1023 00:32:41,393 --> 00:32:42,037 MIDNIGHT SWIM. AND AFTERWARDS WE COULD TRY OUT MY SAUNA. 1024 00:32:42,061 --> 00:32:43,604 AND AFTERWARDS WE COULD TRY OUT MY SAUNA. IT'S THE HOTTEST SAUNA ON THE 1025 00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:44,105 MY SAUNA. IT'S THE HOTTEST SAUNA ON THE STRIP. 1026 00:32:44,129 --> 00:32:45,273 IT'S THE HOTTEST SAUNA ON THE STRIP. BABY, YOU'D LOVE IT. 1027 00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:46,374 STRIP. BABY, YOU'D LOVE IT. I DON'T KNOW. 1028 00:32:46,398 --> 00:32:47,875 BABY, YOU'D LOVE IT. I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY. 1029 00:32:47,899 --> 00:32:49,411 I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY. AW, COME ON, BABY. 1030 00:32:49,435 --> 00:32:51,346 I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY. AW, COME ON, BABY. FRANKIE'S BEING GOOD TO YOU. 1031 00:32:51,370 --> 00:32:52,880 AW, COME ON, BABY. FRANKIE'S BEING GOOD TO YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 1032 00:32:52,904 --> 00:32:53,915 FRANKIE'S BEING GOOD TO YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? EXCUSE ME. 1033 00:32:53,939 --> 00:32:54,782 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME. 1034 00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:56,251 EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME. HERE'S YOUR COFFEE, MISTER, 1035 00:32:56,275 --> 00:32:56,985 PARDON ME. HERE'S YOUR COFFEE, MISTER, RIGHT HERE. 1036 00:32:57,009 --> 00:32:58,353 HERE'S YOUR COFFEE, MISTER, RIGHT HERE. I'M TELLING YOU, BABY. 1037 00:32:58,377 --> 00:32:59,887 RIGHT HERE. I'M TELLING YOU, BABY. HERE'S YOUR COFFEE. 1038 00:32:59,911 --> 00:33:00,621 I'M TELLING YOU, BABY. HERE'S YOUR COFFEE. LOOK. 1039 00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:02,257 HERE'S YOUR COFFEE. LOOK. THIS IS OUR SECOND DATE. 1040 00:33:02,281 --> 00:33:04,192 LOOK. THIS IS OUR SECOND DATE. I'VE SPENT CLOSE TO $3 MILLION 1041 00:33:04,216 --> 00:33:04,859 THIS IS OUR SECOND DATE. I'VE SPENT CLOSE TO $3 MILLION ON YOU. 1042 00:33:04,883 --> 00:33:06,561 I'VE SPENT CLOSE TO $3 MILLION ON YOU. DON'T YOU THINK YOU OWE ME 1043 00:33:06,585 --> 00:33:07,728 ON YOU. DON'T YOU THINK YOU OWE ME SOMETHING, BABY? 1044 00:33:07,752 --> 00:33:08,496 DON'T YOU THINK YOU OWE ME SOMETHING, BABY? COME ON. 1045 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:09,697 SOMETHING, BABY? COME ON. I DON'T KNOW. 1046 00:33:09,721 --> 00:33:11,333 COME ON. I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY. 1047 00:33:11,357 --> 00:33:13,201 I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY. NO GIRL TURNS DOWN AN OFFER 1048 00:33:13,225 --> 00:33:15,003 I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY. NO GIRL TURNS DOWN AN OFFER LIKE THAT FROM FRANKIE NOLAN. 1049 00:33:15,027 --> 00:33:16,504 NO GIRL TURNS DOWN AN OFFER LIKE THAT FROM FRANKIE NOLAN. COME ON, BABY! 1050 00:33:16,528 --> 00:33:17,372 LIKE THAT FROM FRANKIE NOLAN. COME ON, BABY! COME ON! 1051 00:33:17,396 --> 00:33:20,075 COME ON, BABY! COME ON! COME ON TO MY PLACE. 1052 00:33:20,099 --> 00:33:20,475 COME ON! COME ON TO MY PLACE. NO? 1053 00:33:20,499 --> 00:33:22,310 COME ON TO MY PLACE. NO? FRANKIE'S BEING GOOD TO YOU, YOU 1054 00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:22,810 NO? FRANKIE'S BEING GOOD TO YOU, YOU KNOW? 1055 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:23,411 FRANKIE'S BEING GOOD TO YOU, YOU KNOW? HEY! 1056 00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:25,313 KNOW? HEY! EXCUSE ME, MISTER, BUT WHY DON'T 1057 00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:27,182 HEY! EXCUSE ME, MISTER, BUT WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE THE LITTLE LADY ALONE? 1058 00:33:27,206 --> 00:33:28,549 EXCUSE ME, MISTER, BUT WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE THE LITTLE LADY ALONE? YOU CAN'T SEE SHE DOESN'T WANT 1059 00:33:28,573 --> 00:33:29,484 YOU LEAVE THE LITTLE LADY ALONE? YOU CAN'T SEE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO HOME WITH YOU? 1060 00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:30,218 YOU CAN'T SEE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO HOME WITH YOU? WELL, YOU LITTLE PUNK! 1061 00:33:30,242 --> 00:33:30,918 TO GO HOME WITH YOU? WELL, YOU LITTLE PUNK! HEY! 1062 00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:32,854 WELL, YOU LITTLE PUNK! HEY! LEAVE HIM ALONE, FRANKIE! 1063 00:33:32,878 --> 00:33:34,456 HEY! LEAVE HIM ALONE, FRANKIE! GOD, HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING 1064 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:34,990 LEAVE HIM ALONE, FRANKIE! GOD, HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING WRONG. 1065 00:33:35,014 --> 00:33:36,191 GOD, HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING WRONG. BESIDES, HE'S CUTE. 1066 00:33:36,215 --> 00:33:38,426 WRONG. BESIDES, HE'S CUTE. BUT HE'S JUST A BUSBOY. 1067 00:33:38,450 --> 00:33:40,295 BESIDES, HE'S CUTE. BUT HE'S JUST A BUSBOY. YEAH, I MIGHT BE A BUSBOY 1068 00:33:40,319 --> 00:33:42,430 BUT HE'S JUST A BUSBOY. YEAH, I MIGHT BE A BUSBOY NOW, BUT I WON'T BE A BUSBOY ALL 1069 00:33:42,454 --> 00:33:43,164 YEAH, I MIGHT BE A BUSBOY NOW, BUT I WON'T BE A BUSBOY ALL MY LIFE. 1070 00:33:43,188 --> 00:33:45,133 NOW, BUT I WON'T BE A BUSBOY ALL MY LIFE. SOMEDAY, I'M GONNA BE UP ON THAT 1071 00:33:45,157 --> 00:33:46,067 MY LIFE. SOMEDAY, I'M GONNA BE UP ON THAT STAGE. 1072 00:33:46,091 --> 00:33:47,168 SOMEDAY, I'M GONNA BE UP ON THAT STAGE. THAT'S RIGHT. 1073 00:33:47,192 --> 00:33:48,403 STAGE. THAT'S RIGHT. CAN YOU SING? 1074 00:33:48,427 --> 00:33:49,337 THAT'S RIGHT. CAN YOU SING? SING? 1075 00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:51,939 CAN YOU SING? SING? LADY, I'M A SHAKESPEAREAN ACTOR. 1076 00:33:51,963 --> 00:33:53,141 SING? LADY, I'M A SHAKESPEAREAN ACTOR. OH. 1077 00:33:53,165 --> 00:33:54,476 LADY, I'M A SHAKESPEAREAN ACTOR. OH. THAT'S RIGHT. 1078 00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:56,677 OH. THAT'S RIGHT. I CAN SEE IT NOW... MY NAME UP 1079 00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:57,612 THAT'S RIGHT. I CAN SEE IT NOW... MY NAME UP IN LIGHTS. 1080 00:33:57,636 --> 00:34:00,715 I CAN SEE IT NOW... MY NAME UP IN LIGHTS. "NOW APPEARING... LUCKY JACKSON 1081 00:34:00,739 --> 00:34:01,749 IN LIGHTS. "NOW APPEARING... LUCKY JACKSON AS HAMLET." 1082 00:34:01,773 --> 00:34:03,184 "NOW APPEARING... LUCKY JACKSON AS HAMLET." BUT YOU'RE JUST A BUSBOY. 1083 00:34:03,208 --> 00:34:04,685 AS HAMLET." BUT YOU'RE JUST A BUSBOY. AH, GIVE THE KID A CHANCE. 1084 00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:05,920 BUT YOU'RE JUST A BUSBOY. AH, GIVE THE KID A CHANCE. YEAH, HE'S REAL GOOD. 1085 00:34:05,944 --> 00:34:07,288 AH, GIVE THE KID A CHANCE. YEAH, HE'S REAL GOOD. YOU SHOULD HEAR HIM IN THE 1086 00:34:07,312 --> 00:34:07,855 YEAH, HE'S REAL GOOD. YOU SHOULD HEAR HIM IN THE KITCHEN. 1087 00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:08,623 YOU SHOULD HEAR HIM IN THE KITCHEN. THAT'S RIGHT. 1088 00:34:08,647 --> 00:34:09,924 KITCHEN. THAT'S RIGHT. HEY, ANY OF YOU PEOPLE WANT TO 1089 00:34:09,948 --> 00:34:10,791 THAT'S RIGHT. HEY, ANY OF YOU PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR ME DO HAMLET? 1090 00:34:10,815 --> 00:34:11,459 HEY, ANY OF YOU PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR ME DO HAMLET? All: YEAH! 1091 00:34:11,483 --> 00:34:13,928 HEAR ME DO HAMLET? All: YEAH! ALL RIGHT! COME ON! 1092 00:34:13,952 --> 00:34:15,397 All: YEAH! ALL RIGHT! COME ON! AND I COULD PLAY GERTRUDE, 1093 00:34:15,421 --> 00:34:16,597 ALL RIGHT! COME ON! AND I COULD PLAY GERTRUDE, THE QUEEN, HIS MOTHER. 1094 00:34:16,621 --> 00:34:18,066 AND I COULD PLAY GERTRUDE, THE QUEEN, HIS MOTHER. AND I COULD PLAY CLAUDIUS, 1095 00:34:18,090 --> 00:34:18,666 THE QUEEN, HIS MOTHER. AND I COULD PLAY CLAUDIUS, THE KING. 1096 00:34:18,690 --> 00:34:20,035 AND I COULD PLAY CLAUDIUS, THE KING. I KNOW THE LINES BY HEART. 1097 00:34:20,059 --> 00:34:21,869 THE KING. I KNOW THE LINES BY HEART. BUT HE'S JUST A BUSBOY! 1098 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:23,838 I KNOW THE LINES BY HEART. BUT HE'S JUST A BUSBOY! I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 1099 00:34:23,862 --> 00:34:24,705 BUT HE'S JUST A BUSBOY! I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WE'RE GONNA DO IT. 1100 00:34:24,729 --> 00:34:25,940 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WE'RE GONNA DO IT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, LADIES AND 1101 00:34:25,964 --> 00:34:26,441 WE'RE GONNA DO IT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 1102 00:34:26,465 --> 00:34:30,333 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. [TRUMPET PLAYS FANFARE] 1103 00:34:32,203 --> 00:34:38,786 ALL RIGHT. "HAMLET" BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. BUT NOW, MY COUSIN HAMLET, 1104 00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:40,021 "HAMLET" BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. BUT NOW, MY COUSIN HAMLET, AND MY SON. 1105 00:34:40,045 --> 00:34:43,824 BUT NOW, MY COUSIN HAMLET, AND MY SON. A LITTLE MORE THAN KIN, A 1106 00:34:43,848 --> 00:34:46,761 AND MY SON. A LITTLE MORE THAN KIN, A LITTLE LESS THAN KIND. 1107 00:34:46,785 --> 00:34:48,729 A LITTLE MORE THAN KIN, A LITTLE LESS THAN KIND. GOOD HAMLET, CAST THY 1108 00:34:48,753 --> 00:34:51,166 LITTLE LESS THAN KIND. GOOD HAMLET, CAST THY NIGHTED COLOR OFF AND LET THINE 1109 00:34:51,190 --> 00:34:53,201 GOOD HAMLET, CAST THY NIGHTED COLOR OFF AND LET THINE EYE LOOK LIKE A FRIEND ON 1110 00:34:53,225 --> 00:34:54,635 NIGHTED COLOR OFF AND LET THINE EYE LOOK LIKE A FRIEND ON DENMARK. 1111 00:34:54,659 --> 00:34:55,470 EYE LOOK LIKE A FRIEND ON DENMARK. HUH! 1112 00:34:55,494 --> 00:34:57,805 DENMARK. HUH! 'TIS NOT ALONE MY INKY CLOAK, 1113 00:34:57,829 --> 00:34:59,107 HUH! 'TIS NOT ALONE MY INKY CLOAK, GOOD MOTHER. 1114 00:34:59,131 --> 00:35:02,277 'TIS NOT ALONE MY INKY CLOAK, GOOD MOTHER. NOR CUSTOMARY SUITS OF SOLEMN 1115 00:35:02,301 --> 00:35:04,512 GOOD MOTHER. NOR CUSTOMARY SUITS OF SOLEMN BLACK... 1116 00:35:04,536 --> 00:35:08,783 NOR CUSTOMARY SUITS OF SOLEMN BLACK... AND NO DEJECTED BEHAVIOR OF 1117 00:35:08,807 --> 00:35:12,087 BLACK... AND NO DEJECTED BEHAVIOR OF [CHUCKLES] VISAGE, BUT I HAVE 1118 00:35:12,111 --> 00:35:15,590 AND NO DEJECTED BEHAVIOR OF [CHUCKLES] VISAGE, BUT I HAVE THAT WITHIN WHICH PASSETH SHOW. 1119 00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:21,229 [CHUCKLES] VISAGE, BUT I HAVE THAT WITHIN WHICH PASSETH SHOW. BUT TRAPPINGS AND THE SUITS, OH! 1120 00:35:21,253 --> 00:35:22,464 THAT WITHIN WHICH PASSETH SHOW. BUT TRAPPINGS AND THE SUITS, OH! WOE! 1121 00:35:22,488 --> 00:35:23,098 BUT TRAPPINGS AND THE SUITS, OH! WOE! HOO! 1122 00:35:23,122 --> 00:35:24,265 WOE! HOO! WOE! 1123 00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:26,434 HOO! WOE! 'TIS SWEET AND COMMENDABLE IN 1124 00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,269 WOE! 'TIS SWEET AND COMMENDABLE IN YOUR NATURE, DEAR HAMLET. 1125 00:35:28,293 --> 00:35:29,904 'TIS SWEET AND COMMENDABLE IN YOUR NATURE, DEAR HAMLET. HOW ABOUT A SONG? 1126 00:35:29,928 --> 00:35:30,371 YOUR NATURE, DEAR HAMLET. HOW ABOUT A SONG? A SONG? 1127 00:35:30,395 --> 00:35:31,439 HOW ABOUT A SONG? A SONG? ANYBODY WANT TO HEAR A SONG? 1128 00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:32,173 A SONG? ANYBODY WANT TO HEAR A SONG? All: YEAH! 1129 00:35:32,197 --> 00:35:33,341 ANYBODY WANT TO HEAR A SONG? All: YEAH! HEY HOW ABOUT A SONG, 1130 00:35:33,365 --> 00:35:34,875 All: YEAH! HEY HOW ABOUT A SONG, EVERYBODY? 1131 00:35:34,899 --> 00:35:36,077 HEY HOW ABOUT A SONG, EVERYBODY? ALL RIGHT. 1132 00:35:36,101 --> 00:35:38,246 EVERYBODY? ALL RIGHT. WE'RE GONNA DO A LITTLE SONG FOR 1133 00:35:38,270 --> 00:35:38,779 ALL RIGHT. WE'RE GONNA DO A LITTLE SONG FOR YOU. 1134 00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:39,880 WE'RE GONNA DO A LITTLE SONG FOR YOU. ♪ WARDEN THREW A PARTY 1135 00:35:39,904 --> 00:35:41,516 YOU. ♪ WARDEN THREW A PARTY IN THE COUNTY JAIL ♪ 1136 00:35:41,540 --> 00:35:42,450 ♪ WARDEN THREW A PARTY IN THE COUNTY JAIL ♪ ♪ THE PRISON BAND WAS PLAYING ♪ 1137 00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:43,951 IN THE COUNTY JAIL ♪ ♪ THE PRISON BAND WAS PLAYING ♪ ♪ THEY BEGAN TO WAIL ♪ 1138 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,354 ♪ THE PRISON BAND WAS PLAYING ♪ ♪ THEY BEGAN TO WAIL ♪ ♪ THEY BEGAN TO SWING ♪ 1139 00:35:46,378 --> 00:35:47,155 ♪ THEY BEGAN TO WAIL ♪ ♪ THEY BEGAN TO SWING ♪ ♪ YOU SHOULD'VE HEARD THOSE 1140 00:35:47,179 --> 00:35:48,723 ♪ THEY BEGAN TO SWING ♪ ♪ YOU SHOULD'VE HEARD THOSE KNOCKED-OUT JAILBIRDS RING ♪ 1141 00:35:48,747 --> 00:35:50,492 ♪ YOU SHOULD'VE HEARD THOSE KNOCKED-OUT JAILBIRDS RING ♪ ♪ LET'S ROCK ♪ 1142 00:35:50,516 --> 00:35:52,093 KNOCKED-OUT JAILBIRDS RING ♪ ♪ LET'S ROCK ♪ ♪ EVERYBODY, LET'S ROCK ♪ 1143 00:35:52,117 --> 00:35:53,561 ♪ LET'S ROCK ♪ ♪ EVERYBODY, LET'S ROCK ♪ COME ON! 1144 00:35:53,585 --> 00:35:54,829 ♪ EVERYBODY, LET'S ROCK ♪ COME ON! ♪ EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE 1145 00:35:54,853 --> 00:35:55,497 COME ON! ♪ EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE CELLBLOCK 1146 00:35:55,521 --> 00:35:56,731 ♪ EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE CELLBLOCK WAS DANCIN' 1147 00:35:56,755 --> 00:35:58,466 CELLBLOCK WAS DANCIN' TO THE JAILHOUSE ROCK ♪ 1148 00:35:58,490 --> 00:35:59,767 WAS DANCIN' TO THE JAILHOUSE ROCK ♪ ♪ WELL, NUMBER 47 1149 00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:01,102 TO THE JAILHOUSE ROCK ♪ ♪ WELL, NUMBER 47 SAID TO NUMBER 3 ♪ 1150 00:36:01,126 --> 00:36:02,337 ♪ WELL, NUMBER 47 SAID TO NUMBER 3 ♪ JUST A BUSBOY! 1151 00:36:02,361 --> 00:36:06,207 SAID TO NUMBER 3 ♪ JUST A BUSBOY! I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. 1152 00:36:06,231 --> 00:36:06,807 JUST A BUSBOY! I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. ♪ COME ON ♪ 1153 00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:08,075 I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. ♪ COME ON ♪ ♪ DO THE JAILHOUSE ROCK 1154 00:36:08,099 --> 00:36:08,776 ♪ COME ON ♪ ♪ DO THE JAILHOUSE ROCK WITH ME ♪ 1155 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,544 ♪ DO THE JAILHOUSE ROCK WITH ME ♪ ♪ LET'S ROCK ♪ 1156 00:36:10,568 --> 00:36:14,070 ♪ EVERYBODY, LET'S ROCK ♪ 1157 00:36:23,847 --> 00:36:28,896 [As Barbara Walters] HEWWO. I'M BABA WAWA, AND WELCOME TO "BABA WAWA AT WARGE." 1158 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,731 I'M BABA WAWA, AND WELCOME TO "BABA WAWA AT WARGE." CONTINUING WITH MY VERY PERSONAL 1159 00:36:30,755 --> 00:36:32,066 "BABA WAWA AT WARGE." CONTINUING WITH MY VERY PERSONAL AND REVEAWING IN-DEPTH 1160 00:36:32,090 --> 00:36:33,734 CONTINUING WITH MY VERY PERSONAL AND REVEAWING IN-DEPTH INTERVIEWS WITH THE WENOWNED. 1161 00:36:33,758 --> 00:36:35,403 AND REVEAWING IN-DEPTH INTERVIEWS WITH THE WENOWNED. IT'S MY PWEASURE TO GIVE A 1162 00:36:35,427 --> 00:36:37,272 INTERVIEWS WITH THE WENOWNED. IT'S MY PWEASURE TO GIVE A BABA WAWA HEWWO TO THE MAN WHO 1163 00:36:37,296 --> 00:36:38,706 IT'S MY PWEASURE TO GIVE A BABA WAWA HEWWO TO THE MAN WHO WAS MARRIED WONGEST TO 1164 00:36:38,730 --> 00:36:40,642 BABA WAWA HEWWO TO THE MAN WHO WAS MARRIED WONGEST TO WIZ TAYLOR, MR. WICHARD BURTON. 1165 00:36:40,666 --> 00:36:42,243 WAS MARRIED WONGEST TO WIZ TAYLOR, MR. WICHARD BURTON. [As Richard Burton] THANK 1166 00:36:42,267 --> 00:36:42,943 WIZ TAYLOR, MR. WICHARD BURTON. [As Richard Burton] THANK YOU, BABA. 1167 00:36:42,967 --> 00:36:44,479 [As Richard Burton] THANK YOU, BABA. I TRULY, TRULY MEAN THIS, FROM 1168 00:36:44,503 --> 00:36:46,013 YOU, BABA. I TRULY, TRULY MEAN THIS, FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY HEART, WHEN I 1169 00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:47,582 I TRULY, TRULY MEAN THIS, FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY HEART, WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOUR SHOW, 1170 00:36:47,606 --> 00:36:49,016 THE DEPTHS OF MY HEART, WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOUR SHOW, AND I WATCH IT ALL THE TIME. 1171 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,152 TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOUR SHOW, AND I WATCH IT ALL THE TIME. WELL, THANK YOU, WICHARD. 1172 00:36:51,176 --> 00:36:53,555 AND I WATCH IT ALL THE TIME. WELL, THANK YOU, WICHARD. IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO HEAR THE 1173 00:36:53,579 --> 00:36:55,790 WELL, THANK YOU, WICHARD. IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO HEAR THE SOUNDS THAT WOLL OVER YOUR 1174 00:36:55,814 --> 00:36:58,393 IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO HEAR THE SOUNDS THAT WOLL OVER YOUR WARYNX, TO HEAR THEM WEVERBERATE 1175 00:36:58,417 --> 00:37:00,761 SOUNDS THAT WOLL OVER YOUR WARYNX, TO HEAR THEM WEVERBERATE THROUGH A CWOWDED THEATER OR 1176 00:37:00,785 --> 00:37:03,030 WARYNX, TO HEAR THEM WEVERBERATE THROUGH A CWOWDED THEATER OR BWEAK WIGHT BULBS WITH THAT 1177 00:37:03,054 --> 00:37:04,599 THROUGH A CWOWDED THEATER OR BWEAK WIGHT BULBS WITH THAT WICH, WICH TWEAT. 1178 00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:06,067 BWEAK WIGHT BULBS WITH THAT WICH, WICH TWEAT. BABA, WOULD YOU PLEASE GET 1179 00:37:06,091 --> 00:37:07,335 WICH, WICH TWEAT. BABA, WOULD YOU PLEASE GET OUT OF MY WRETCHED LIFE? 1180 00:37:07,359 --> 00:37:08,503 BABA, WOULD YOU PLEASE GET OUT OF MY WRETCHED LIFE? YOU'RE MUCH TOO KIND. 1181 00:37:08,527 --> 00:37:10,037 OUT OF MY WRETCHED LIFE? YOU'RE MUCH TOO KIND. BUT, YOU SEE, THIS IS JUST MY 1182 00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,506 YOU'RE MUCH TOO KIND. BUT, YOU SEE, THIS IS JUST MY STAGE VOICE, WHICH I USE FOR 1183 00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:12,607 BUT, YOU SEE, THIS IS JUST MY STAGE VOICE, WHICH I USE FOR PROJECTION PURPOSES. 1184 00:37:12,631 --> 00:37:14,141 STAGE VOICE, WHICH I USE FOR PROJECTION PURPOSES. BUT MY REAL VOICE IS SORT OF A 1185 00:37:14,165 --> 00:37:15,810 PROJECTION PURPOSES. BUT MY REAL VOICE IS SORT OF A SOUTHERN GREAT LAKES, MIDWESTERN 1186 00:37:15,834 --> 00:37:16,644 BUT MY REAL VOICE IS SORT OF A SOUTHERN GREAT LAKES, MIDWESTERN SORT OF VOICE. 1187 00:37:16,668 --> 00:37:17,745 SOUTHERN GREAT LAKES, MIDWESTERN SORT OF VOICE. SORT OF LIKE THIS... 1188 00:37:17,769 --> 00:37:18,746 SORT OF VOICE. SORT OF LIKE THIS... [Normal voice] HEY, GIRLS, 1189 00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:19,614 SORT OF LIKE THIS... [Normal voice] HEY, GIRLS, WHERE'S THE CAST PARTY? 1190 00:37:19,638 --> 00:37:21,482 [Normal voice] HEY, GIRLS, WHERE'S THE CAST PARTY? OH, WICHARD. 1191 00:37:21,506 --> 00:37:24,785 WHERE'S THE CAST PARTY? OH, WICHARD. LET'S GET DOWN TO BWASS TACKS. 1192 00:37:24,809 --> 00:37:27,288 OH, WICHARD. LET'S GET DOWN TO BWASS TACKS. A WOT OF PEOPLE ARE CURIOUS TO 1193 00:37:27,312 --> 00:37:29,757 LET'S GET DOWN TO BWASS TACKS. A WOT OF PEOPLE ARE CURIOUS TO KNOW, ARE YOU STILL A WUSH WHO 1194 00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:31,826 A WOT OF PEOPLE ARE CURIOUS TO KNOW, ARE YOU STILL A WUSH WHO DWINKS LIKE A JELLYFISH? 1195 00:37:31,850 --> 00:37:32,927 KNOW, ARE YOU STILL A WUSH WHO DWINKS LIKE A JELLYFISH? [As Richard Burton] NO, I 1196 00:37:32,951 --> 00:37:33,861 DWINKS LIKE A JELLYFISH? [As Richard Burton] NO, I HAVEN'T TOUCHED A DROP OF 1197 00:37:33,885 --> 00:37:34,995 [As Richard Burton] NO, I HAVEN'T TOUCHED A DROP OF JOHN BARLEYCORN FOR FIVE WEEKS. 1198 00:37:35,019 --> 00:37:36,897 HAVEN'T TOUCHED A DROP OF JOHN BARLEYCORN FOR FIVE WEEKS. OH-HO! 1199 00:37:36,921 --> 00:37:39,267 JOHN BARLEYCORN FOR FIVE WEEKS. OH-HO! WELL, THAT'S A WEMARKABLE 1200 00:37:39,291 --> 00:37:41,769 OH-HO! WELL, THAT'S A WEMARKABLE ACHIEVEMENT FOR A WITERALLY 1201 00:37:41,793 --> 00:37:44,004 WELL, THAT'S A WEMARKABLE ACHIEVEMENT FOR A WITERALLY WEFORMED ALCOHOWIC. 1202 00:37:44,028 --> 00:37:45,740 ACHIEVEMENT FOR A WITERALLY WEFORMED ALCOHOWIC. WELL, I WAS IN A COMA FOR THE 1203 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:46,774 WEFORMED ALCOHOWIC. WELL, I WAS IN A COMA FOR THE FIRST FOUR WEEKS. 1204 00:37:46,798 --> 00:37:48,008 WELL, I WAS IN A COMA FOR THE FIRST FOUR WEEKS. NO, I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT 1205 00:37:48,032 --> 00:37:48,409 FIRST FOUR WEEKS. NO, I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT THAT. 1206 00:37:48,433 --> 00:37:49,577 NO, I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT THAT. MAKE THAT PERFECTLY CLEAR. 1207 00:37:49,601 --> 00:37:50,811 THAT. MAKE THAT PERFECTLY CLEAR. I'M KIDDING ABOUT THAT COMA. 1208 00:37:50,835 --> 00:37:52,046 MAKE THAT PERFECTLY CLEAR. I'M KIDDING ABOUT THAT COMA. A LOT OF VICIOUS STORIES GET 1209 00:37:52,070 --> 00:37:52,880 I'M KIDDING ABOUT THAT COMA. A LOT OF VICIOUS STORIES GET STARTED THAT WAY. 1210 00:37:52,904 --> 00:37:54,449 A LOT OF VICIOUS STORIES GET STARTED THAT WAY. WELL, WICHARD, WHAT DO YOU 1211 00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:55,883 STARTED THAT WAY. WELL, WICHARD, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE WIDICULOUS 1212 00:37:55,907 --> 00:37:57,452 WELL, WICHARD, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE WIDICULOUS STORIES THAT ARE WITTEN ABOUT 1213 00:37:57,476 --> 00:37:57,885 THINK ABOUT THE WIDICULOUS STORIES THAT ARE WITTEN ABOUT YOU? 1214 00:37:57,909 --> 00:37:59,086 STORIES THAT ARE WITTEN ABOUT YOU? I THINK THAT THE PEOPLE WHO 1215 00:37:59,110 --> 00:38:00,054 YOU? I THINK THAT THE PEOPLE WHO WRITE THEM ARE SPINELESS 1216 00:38:00,078 --> 00:38:00,588 I THINK THAT THE PEOPLE WHO WRITE THEM ARE SPINELESS PARASITES. 1217 00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:01,822 WRITE THEM ARE SPINELESS PARASITES. THEY'RE CREATURES WHO JUST MAKE 1218 00:38:01,846 --> 00:38:02,890 PARASITES. THEY'RE CREATURES WHO JUST MAKE THEIR LIVING SUCKING OFF OF 1219 00:38:02,914 --> 00:38:03,791 THEY'RE CREATURES WHO JUST MAKE THEIR LIVING SUCKING OFF OF OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES. 1220 00:38:03,815 --> 00:38:06,026 THEIR LIVING SUCKING OFF OF OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES. THIS MONTH, FOR EXAMPLE, A STORY 1221 00:38:06,050 --> 00:38:07,895 OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES. THIS MONTH, FOR EXAMPLE, A STORY DEFAMED ME IN THE PAGES OF 1222 00:38:07,919 --> 00:38:09,397 THIS MONTH, FOR EXAMPLE, A STORY DEFAMED ME IN THE PAGES OF TEEN TIME MAGAZINE. 1223 00:38:09,421 --> 00:38:11,432 DEFAMED ME IN THE PAGES OF TEEN TIME MAGAZINE. THEY HAD NOTHING GOOD TO SAY. 1224 00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:13,901 TEEN TIME MAGAZINE. THEY HAD NOTHING GOOD TO SAY. TIGER BEAT MAGAZINE TRASHED ME. 1225 00:38:13,925 --> 00:38:15,470 THEY HAD NOTHING GOOD TO SAY. TIGER BEAT MAGAZINE TRASHED ME. SIXTEEN MAGAZINE CLAIMED I LIKE 1226 00:38:15,494 --> 00:38:17,037 TIGER BEAT MAGAZINE TRASHED ME. SIXTEEN MAGAZINE CLAIMED I LIKE TO GET DRUNK AND FLY UPSIDE DOWN 1227 00:38:17,061 --> 00:38:18,105 SIXTEEN MAGAZINE CLAIMED I LIKE TO GET DRUNK AND FLY UPSIDE DOWN IN MY PRIVATE PLANE. 1228 00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:18,873 TO GET DRUNK AND FLY UPSIDE DOWN IN MY PRIVATE PLANE. THEY HATE ME. 1229 00:38:18,897 --> 00:38:19,774 IN MY PRIVATE PLANE. THEY HATE ME. THEY DESPISE ME. 1230 00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:21,409 THEY HATE ME. THEY DESPISE ME. AND JUST BECAUSE I'M A PARTY 1231 00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:22,943 THEY DESPISE ME. AND JUST BECAUSE I'M A PARTY ANIMAL... I LOVE TO PARTY, 1232 00:38:22,967 --> 00:38:23,844 AND JUST BECAUSE I'M A PARTY ANIMAL... I LOVE TO PARTY, PARTY, PARTY. 1233 00:38:23,868 --> 00:38:25,280 ANIMAL... I LOVE TO PARTY, PARTY, PARTY. AND THEY DON'T! 1234 00:38:25,304 --> 00:38:26,213 PARTY, PARTY. AND THEY DON'T! OH-HO! 1235 00:38:26,237 --> 00:38:28,849 AND THEY DON'T! OH-HO! WELL, WICHARD, YOU WED AND WOVED 1236 00:38:28,873 --> 00:38:30,451 OH-HO! WELL, WICHARD, YOU WED AND WOVED EWIZABETH TAYLOR. 1237 00:38:30,475 --> 00:38:32,953 WELL, WICHARD, YOU WED AND WOVED EWIZABETH TAYLOR. YOU SHOWERED HER WITH EMERALDS 1238 00:38:32,977 --> 00:38:35,256 EWIZABETH TAYLOR. YOU SHOWERED HER WITH EMERALDS AND WUBIES AND GAVE HER THE 1239 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,392 YOU SHOWERED HER WITH EMERALDS AND WUBIES AND GAVE HER THE WARGEST WOK IN THE WORLD. 1240 00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:39,627 AND WUBIES AND GAVE HER THE WARGEST WOK IN THE WORLD. WHAT WAS WIZ WEALLY WIKE, 1241 00:38:39,651 --> 00:38:43,164 WARGEST WOK IN THE WORLD. WHAT WAS WIZ WEALLY WIKE, WICHARD? 1242 00:38:43,188 --> 00:38:44,766 WHAT WAS WIZ WEALLY WIKE, WICHARD? ELIZABETH TAYLOR WAS NOT ONLY 1243 00:38:44,790 --> 00:38:46,167 WICHARD? ELIZABETH TAYLOR WAS NOT ONLY A VERY INTELLIGENT WOMAN, IN 1244 00:38:46,191 --> 00:38:47,435 ELIZABETH TAYLOR WAS NOT ONLY A VERY INTELLIGENT WOMAN, IN ADDITION TO BEING A VERY 1245 00:38:47,459 --> 00:38:49,036 A VERY INTELLIGENT WOMAN, IN ADDITION TO BEING A VERY TALENTED ACTRESS, BUT SHE'S ALSO 1246 00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:50,538 ADDITION TO BEING A VERY TALENTED ACTRESS, BUT SHE'S ALSO A VERY HOT TOMATO, IF YOU KNOW 1247 00:38:50,562 --> 00:38:51,272 TALENTED ACTRESS, BUT SHE'S ALSO A VERY HOT TOMATO, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 1248 00:38:51,296 --> 00:38:52,540 A VERY HOT TOMATO, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. YOU GOT TO TAKE A LOOK AT THESE 1249 00:38:52,564 --> 00:38:53,574 WHAT I MEAN. YOU GOT TO TAKE A LOOK AT THESE PICTURES I'VE GOT OF HER. 1250 00:38:53,598 --> 00:38:54,375 YOU GOT TO TAKE A LOOK AT THESE PICTURES I'VE GOT OF HER. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. 1251 00:38:54,399 --> 00:38:55,510 PICTURES I'VE GOT OF HER. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS. 1252 00:38:55,534 --> 00:38:56,778 IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS. BELIEVE THAT? 1253 00:38:56,802 --> 00:38:58,879 LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS. BELIEVE THAT? LOOK AT THIS. 1254 00:38:58,903 --> 00:38:59,547 BELIEVE THAT? LOOK AT THIS. OH, WIGHT. 1255 00:38:59,571 --> 00:39:00,848 LOOK AT THIS. OH, WIGHT. THE SWIMSUIT... YOU SEE WHAT 1256 00:39:00,872 --> 00:39:01,248 OH, WIGHT. THE SWIMSUIT... YOU SEE WHAT I SEE? 1257 00:39:01,272 --> 00:39:02,016 THE SWIMSUIT... YOU SEE WHAT I SEE? YES. 1258 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:03,418 I SEE? YES. I USED TO BE MARRIED TO THAT. 1259 00:39:03,442 --> 00:39:04,419 YES. I USED TO BE MARRIED TO THAT. YOU BELIEVE THAT? 1260 00:39:04,443 --> 00:39:06,053 I USED TO BE MARRIED TO THAT. YOU BELIEVE THAT? EVERY NIGHT, WHENEVER I WANTED, 1261 00:39:06,077 --> 00:39:07,188 YOU BELIEVE THAT? EVERY NIGHT, WHENEVER I WANTED, I WAS MARRIED TO IT. 1262 00:39:07,212 --> 00:39:07,888 EVERY NIGHT, WHENEVER I WANTED, I WAS MARRIED TO IT. I HAD HER. 1263 00:39:07,912 --> 00:39:08,856 I WAS MARRIED TO IT. I HAD HER. I THREW IT AWAY. 1264 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,491 I HAD HER. I THREW IT AWAY. OH, AM I STUPID. 1265 00:39:10,515 --> 00:39:11,859 I THREW IT AWAY. OH, AM I STUPID. REALLY. 1266 00:39:11,883 --> 00:39:13,060 OH, AM I STUPID. REALLY. EXCUSE ME FOR LOSING MY ACCENT 1267 00:39:13,084 --> 00:39:14,295 REALLY. EXCUSE ME FOR LOSING MY ACCENT AGAIN, HONEY, BUT I REALLY BLEW 1268 00:39:14,319 --> 00:39:14,895 EXCUSE ME FOR LOSING MY ACCENT AGAIN, HONEY, BUT I REALLY BLEW IT THAT TIME. 1269 00:39:14,919 --> 00:39:17,064 AGAIN, HONEY, BUT I REALLY BLEW IT THAT TIME. WICHARD, WICHARD, CALM DOWN. 1270 00:39:17,088 --> 00:39:19,300 IT THAT TIME. WICHARD, WICHARD, CALM DOWN. BEFORE YOU GO, WOULD YOU DO US A 1271 00:39:19,324 --> 00:39:19,967 WICHARD, WICHARD, CALM DOWN. BEFORE YOU GO, WOULD YOU DO US A FAVOR? 1272 00:39:19,991 --> 00:39:22,102 BEFORE YOU GO, WOULD YOU DO US A FAVOR? WOULD YOU WECITE SOMETHING FOR 1273 00:39:22,126 --> 00:39:22,570 FAVOR? WOULD YOU WECITE SOMETHING FOR US? 1274 00:39:22,594 --> 00:39:24,138 WOULD YOU WECITE SOMETHING FOR US? BABA, IT WOULD BE A 1275 00:39:24,162 --> 00:39:25,707 US? BABA, IT WOULD BE A PRIVILEGE. 1276 00:39:25,731 --> 00:39:27,809 BABA, IT WOULD BE A PRIVILEGE. EACH EVENING, FROM DECEMBER TO 1277 00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:29,844 PRIVILEGE. EACH EVENING, FROM DECEMBER TO DECEMBER, BEFORE YOU DRIFT TO 1278 00:39:29,868 --> 00:39:32,012 EACH EVENING, FROM DECEMBER TO DECEMBER, BEFORE YOU DRIFT TO SLEEP UPON YOUR COT, THINK BACK 1279 00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:33,948 DECEMBER, BEFORE YOU DRIFT TO SLEEP UPON YOUR COT, THINK BACK UPON ALL THE TALES THAT YOU 1280 00:39:33,972 --> 00:39:35,516 SLEEP UPON YOUR COT, THINK BACK UPON ALL THE TALES THAT YOU REMEMBER, OF CAMELOT. 1281 00:39:35,540 --> 00:39:38,853 UPON ALL THE TALES THAT YOU REMEMBER, OF CAMELOT. OH, THAT'S FROM "CAMEWOT"! 1282 00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:40,621 REMEMBER, OF CAMELOT. OH, THAT'S FROM "CAMEWOT"! NO, THAT'S CAMELOT. 1283 00:39:40,645 --> 00:39:42,156 OH, THAT'S FROM "CAMEWOT"! NO, THAT'S CAMELOT. OH, I WUV THAT SHOW! 1284 00:39:42,180 --> 00:39:43,090 NO, THAT'S CAMELOT. OH, I WUV THAT SHOW! I HAVE THE ALBUM. 1285 00:39:43,114 --> 00:39:44,559 OH, I WUV THAT SHOW! I HAVE THE ALBUM. I KNOW ALL THE SONGS BY HEART. 1286 00:39:44,583 --> 00:39:47,829 I HAVE THE ALBUM. I KNOW ALL THE SONGS BY HEART. ♪ IF EVER I WOULD WEAVE YOU ♪ 1287 00:39:47,853 --> 00:39:50,431 I KNOW ALL THE SONGS BY HEART. ♪ IF EVER I WOULD WEAVE YOU ♪ BUT, WICHARD, I'VE HEARD 1288 00:39:50,455 --> 00:39:52,299 ♪ IF EVER I WOULD WEAVE YOU ♪ BUT, WICHARD, I'VE HEARD "CAMEWOT" A WOT. 1289 00:39:52,323 --> 00:39:55,470 BUT, WICHARD, I'VE HEARD "CAMEWOT" A WOT. DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ELSE? 1290 00:39:55,494 --> 00:39:56,103 "CAMEWOT" A WOT. DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ELSE? BY HEART? 1291 00:39:56,127 --> 00:39:57,739 DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ELSE? BY HEART? YES. 1292 00:39:57,763 --> 00:39:59,173 BY HEART? YES. NO. 1293 00:39:59,197 --> 00:40:00,074 YES. NO. JUST THIS. 1294 00:40:00,098 --> 00:40:01,542 NO. JUST THIS. EACH EVENING, FROM DECEMBER TO 1295 00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:03,010 JUST THIS. EACH EVENING, FROM DECEMBER TO DECEMBER, BEFORE YOU DRIFT TO 1296 00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:03,544 EACH EVENING, FROM DECEMBER TO DECEMBER, BEFORE YOU DRIFT TO SLEEP... 1297 00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:05,145 DECEMBER, BEFORE YOU DRIFT TO SLEEP... WADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I KNOW 1298 00:40:05,169 --> 00:40:06,581 SLEEP... WADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I KNOW IT SOUNDS A BIT BIZARRE, BUT 1299 00:40:06,605 --> 00:40:07,782 WADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I KNOW IT SOUNDS A BIT BIZARRE, BUT WE'VE WUN OUT OF TIME. 1300 00:40:07,806 --> 00:40:08,750 IT SOUNDS A BIT BIZARRE, BUT WE'VE WUN OUT OF TIME. I'D WIKE TO THANK 1301 00:40:08,774 --> 00:40:09,650 WE'VE WUN OUT OF TIME. I'D WIKE TO THANK WICHARD BURTON. 1302 00:40:09,674 --> 00:40:12,520 I'D WIKE TO THANK WICHARD BURTON. AND THANK YOU, BAA-BAA. 1303 00:40:12,544 --> 00:40:14,989 WICHARD BURTON. AND THANK YOU, BAA-BAA. THIS IS BABA WAWA SAYING GOOD 1304 00:40:15,013 --> 00:40:15,390 AND THANK YOU, BAA-BAA. THIS IS BABA WAWA SAYING GOOD NIGHT. 1305 00:40:15,414 --> 00:40:18,347 THIS IS BABA WAWA SAYING GOOD NIGHT. BYE-BYE, BABA. 1306 00:40:25,389 --> 00:40:30,304 THIS WEEK'S FILM WAS MADE BY SHARON SACKS, AND THIS BEING JUNE, THE FILM IS CALLED 1307 00:40:30,328 --> 00:40:33,129 SHARON SACKS, AND THIS BEING JUNE, THE FILM IS CALLED "BRIDES." 1308 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:44,400 ♪ YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU ♪ ♪ I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT ♪ ♪ I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT ♪ 1309 00:40:45,577 --> 00:40:48,088 ♪ I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT ♪ ♪ I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT ♪ ♪ YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU ♪ 1310 00:40:48,112 --> 00:40:49,290 ♪ I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT ♪ ♪ YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU ♪ SINCE THE DAWN OF 1311 00:40:49,314 --> 00:40:50,725 ♪ YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU ♪ SINCE THE DAWN OF CIVILIZATION, SOCIETY HAS 1312 00:40:50,749 --> 00:40:51,959 SINCE THE DAWN OF CIVILIZATION, SOCIETY HAS CELEBRATED MARRIAGE WITH 1313 00:40:51,983 --> 00:40:53,260 CIVILIZATION, SOCIETY HAS CELEBRATED MARRIAGE WITH ELABORATE CEREMONIES AND THE 1314 00:40:53,284 --> 00:40:55,262 CELEBRATED MARRIAGE WITH ELABORATE CEREMONIES AND THE ORDERING OF NEW FLATWARE. 1315 00:40:55,286 --> 00:40:56,397 ELABORATE CEREMONIES AND THE ORDERING OF NEW FLATWARE. FROM EUROPE TO THE HEBRIDES, 1316 00:40:56,421 --> 00:40:57,665 ORDERING OF NEW FLATWARE. FROM EUROPE TO THE HEBRIDES, BRIDES BEDECK THEMSELVES IN 1317 00:40:57,689 --> 00:40:59,066 FROM EUROPE TO THE HEBRIDES, BRIDES BEDECK THEMSELVES IN SHINING WHITE DRESSES TO 1318 00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:00,601 BRIDES BEDECK THEMSELVES IN SHINING WHITE DRESSES TO SYMBOLIZE THE TRADITIONAL FRENCH 1319 00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:01,669 SHINING WHITE DRESSES TO SYMBOLIZE THE TRADITIONAL FRENCH PASTRY. 1320 00:41:01,693 --> 00:41:03,270 SYMBOLIZE THE TRADITIONAL FRENCH PASTRY. PSYCHOLOGISTS HAVE LONG ASKED 1321 00:41:03,294 --> 00:41:04,806 PASTRY. PSYCHOLOGISTS HAVE LONG ASKED THEMSELVES, "WHY DO MEN FEAR 1322 00:41:04,830 --> 00:41:05,807 PSYCHOLOGISTS HAVE LONG ASKED THEMSELVES, "WHY DO MEN FEAR BRIDES?" 1323 00:41:05,831 --> 00:41:07,442 THEMSELVES, "WHY DO MEN FEAR BRIDES?" THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE. 1324 00:41:07,466 --> 00:41:08,876 BRIDES?" THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE. THE IMPOSING WHITE FIGURE OF A 1325 00:41:08,900 --> 00:41:10,377 THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE. THE IMPOSING WHITE FIGURE OF A BRIDE MAY REMIND A YOUNG MALE OF 1326 00:41:10,401 --> 00:41:11,512 THE IMPOSING WHITE FIGURE OF A BRIDE MAY REMIND A YOUNG MALE OF DINNERWARE. 1327 00:41:11,536 --> 00:41:12,613 BRIDE MAY REMIND A YOUNG MALE OF DINNERWARE. AND ALL MEN ARE UNNATURALLY 1328 00:41:12,637 --> 00:41:14,482 DINNERWARE. AND ALL MEN ARE UNNATURALLY AFRAID OF DINNERWARE. 1329 00:41:14,506 --> 00:41:15,983 AND ALL MEN ARE UNNATURALLY AFRAID OF DINNERWARE. IN FACT, WAVE THIS WEDGWOOD 1330 00:41:16,007 --> 00:41:17,485 AFRAID OF DINNERWARE. IN FACT, WAVE THIS WEDGWOOD GRAVY BOAT IN THEIR FACE AND MEN 1331 00:41:17,509 --> 00:41:18,118 IN FACT, WAVE THIS WEDGWOOD GRAVY BOAT IN THEIR FACE AND MEN WILL SCREAM. 1332 00:41:18,142 --> 00:41:19,454 GRAVY BOAT IN THEIR FACE AND MEN WILL SCREAM. AAHHH! 1333 00:41:19,478 --> 00:41:21,121 WILL SCREAM. AAHHH! IT'S A SCIENTIFIC FACT. 1334 00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:23,090 AAHHH! IT'S A SCIENTIFIC FACT. HERE WE SEE A REPRESENTATION OF 1335 00:41:23,114 --> 00:41:24,759 IT'S A SCIENTIFIC FACT. HERE WE SEE A REPRESENTATION OF THE WORLD FAMOUS "BRUSHING 1336 00:41:24,783 --> 00:41:25,927 HERE WE SEE A REPRESENTATION OF THE WORLD FAMOUS "BRUSHING BRIDE." 1337 00:41:25,951 --> 00:41:27,361 THE WORLD FAMOUS "BRUSHING BRIDE." VARIATIONS ON THIS THEME INCLUDE 1338 00:41:27,385 --> 00:41:29,330 BRIDE." VARIATIONS ON THIS THEME INCLUDE THE "BUZZING BRIDE"... 1339 00:41:29,354 --> 00:41:31,131 VARIATIONS ON THIS THEME INCLUDE THE "BUZZING BRIDE"... THE "HUMMING BRIDE"... 1340 00:41:31,155 --> 00:41:32,533 THE "BUZZING BRIDE"... THE "HUMMING BRIDE"... AND THE "FALLING BRIDE." 1341 00:41:32,557 --> 00:41:34,669 THE "HUMMING BRIDE"... AND THE "FALLING BRIDE." THUS THE PHRASE, "BRIDAL THUD" 1342 00:41:34,693 --> 00:41:40,174 AND THE "FALLING BRIDE." THUS THE PHRASE, "BRIDAL THUD" OR "CLUNK." 1343 00:41:40,198 --> 00:41:41,876 THUS THE PHRASE, "BRIDAL THUD" OR "CLUNK." HERE, IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, IN 1344 00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:43,277 OR "CLUNK." HERE, IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, IN A SPECIAL CEREMONY IN THE 1345 00:41:43,301 --> 00:41:45,079 HERE, IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, IN A SPECIAL CEREMONY IN THE BRIDE'S HOME, THE MAIDS OF HONOR 1346 00:41:45,103 --> 00:41:46,681 A SPECIAL CEREMONY IN THE BRIDE'S HOME, THE MAIDS OF HONOR DO A SPECIAL DANCE TO HONOR THE 1347 00:41:46,705 --> 00:41:48,248 BRIDE'S HOME, THE MAIDS OF HONOR DO A SPECIAL DANCE TO HONOR THE WEDDING OF THIS YOUNG BRIDE TO A 1348 00:41:48,272 --> 00:41:50,618 DO A SPECIAL DANCE TO HONOR THE WEDDING OF THIS YOUNG BRIDE TO A GIANT CHICKEN. 1349 00:41:50,642 --> 00:41:52,019 WEDDING OF THIS YOUNG BRIDE TO A GIANT CHICKEN. THE CHICKEN IMPATIENTLY WAITS 1350 00:41:52,043 --> 00:41:52,787 GIANT CHICKEN. THE CHICKEN IMPATIENTLY WAITS OUTSIDE. 1351 00:41:52,811 --> 00:41:54,021 THE CHICKEN IMPATIENTLY WAITS OUTSIDE. WHILE INSIDE, THE BRIDE'S 1352 00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:55,556 OUTSIDE. WHILE INSIDE, THE BRIDE'S PARENTS, ANXIOUS TO APPEAR "WITH 1353 00:41:55,580 --> 00:41:58,292 WHILE INSIDE, THE BRIDE'S PARENTS, ANXIOUS TO APPEAR "WITH IT," LOOK ON BENEVOLENTLY. 1354 00:41:58,316 --> 00:42:00,094 PARENTS, ANXIOUS TO APPEAR "WITH IT," LOOK ON BENEVOLENTLY. MEANWHILE, ACROSS TOWN, ANOTHER 1355 00:42:00,118 --> 00:42:01,929 IT," LOOK ON BENEVOLENTLY. MEANWHILE, ACROSS TOWN, ANOTHER YOUNG BRIDE IS HEARTBROKEN TODAY 1356 00:42:01,953 --> 00:42:03,230 MEANWHILE, ACROSS TOWN, ANOTHER YOUNG BRIDE IS HEARTBROKEN TODAY BECAUSE THE CHICKEN TO WHOM SHE 1357 00:42:03,254 --> 00:42:04,765 YOUNG BRIDE IS HEARTBROKEN TODAY BECAUSE THE CHICKEN TO WHOM SHE WAS TO BE MARRIED INEXPLICABLY 1358 00:42:04,789 --> 00:42:06,433 BECAUSE THE CHICKEN TO WHOM SHE WAS TO BE MARRIED INEXPLICABLY SUCCUMBED TO EXPOSURE PRIOR TO 1359 00:42:06,457 --> 00:42:07,869 WAS TO BE MARRIED INEXPLICABLY SUCCUMBED TO EXPOSURE PRIOR TO THE CEREMONY. 1360 00:42:07,893 --> 00:42:08,903 SUCCUMBED TO EXPOSURE PRIOR TO THE CEREMONY. HE SAYS, "WELL, IT'S MY PET 1361 00:42:08,927 --> 00:42:09,370 THE CEREMONY. HE SAYS, "WELL, IT'S MY PET PENGUIN." 1362 00:42:09,394 --> 00:42:10,270 HE SAYS, "WELL, IT'S MY PET PENGUIN." HE SAYS, "I DON'T CARE!" 1363 00:42:10,294 --> 00:42:11,238 PENGUIN." HE SAYS, "I DON'T CARE!" HE SAYS, "YOU TAKE HIM TO THE 1364 00:42:11,262 --> 00:42:11,639 HE SAYS, "I DON'T CARE!" HE SAYS, "YOU TAKE HIM TO THE ZOO." 1365 00:42:11,663 --> 00:42:13,207 HE SAYS, "YOU TAKE HIM TO THE ZOO." GUY TAKES OFF. 1366 00:42:13,231 --> 00:42:14,542 ZOO." GUY TAKES OFF. THE NEXT DAY, SAME TIME... 1367 00:42:14,566 --> 00:42:15,710 GUY TAKES OFF. THE NEXT DAY, SAME TIME... MANY FAMILIES NOW PREFER TO 1368 00:42:15,734 --> 00:42:16,911 THE NEXT DAY, SAME TIME... MANY FAMILIES NOW PREFER TO FOREGO THE VOWS THEMSELVES FOR 1369 00:42:16,935 --> 00:42:18,479 MANY FAMILIES NOW PREFER TO FOREGO THE VOWS THEMSELVES FOR THE TELLING OF THE WEDDING JOKE. 1370 00:42:18,503 --> 00:42:19,380 FOREGO THE VOWS THEMSELVES FOR THE TELLING OF THE WEDDING JOKE. SO THE COP COMES UP TO HIM 1371 00:42:19,404 --> 00:42:20,347 THE TELLING OF THE WEDDING JOKE. SO THE COP COMES UP TO HIM AGAIN AND SAYS, "DIDN'T I TELL 1372 00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:21,181 SO THE COP COMES UP TO HIM AGAIN AND SAYS, "DIDN'T I TELL YOU YESTERDAY TO TAKE THAT 1373 00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:21,849 AGAIN AND SAYS, "DIDN'T I TELL YOU YESTERDAY TO TAKE THAT PENGUIN TO THE ZOO?" 1374 00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:23,150 YOU YESTERDAY TO TAKE THAT PENGUIN TO THE ZOO?" HE SAID, "I DID. 1375 00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:24,084 PENGUIN TO THE ZOO?" HE SAID, "I DID. TODAY I'M TAKING HIM TO THE 1376 00:42:24,108 --> 00:42:25,319 HE SAID, "I DID. TODAY I'M TAKING HIM TO THE MOVIES." 1377 00:42:25,343 --> 00:42:28,856 TODAY I'M TAKING HIM TO THE MOVIES." YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE. 1378 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,357 MOVIES." YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE. IT IS A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT 1379 00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:31,893 YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE. IT IS A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT THAT UNTIL JUST 20 YEARS AGO 1380 00:42:31,917 --> 00:42:33,794 IT IS A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT THAT UNTIL JUST 20 YEARS AGO ONLY BLONDES WERE PERMITTED BY 1381 00:42:33,818 --> 00:42:37,331 THAT UNTIL JUST 20 YEARS AGO ONLY BLONDES WERE PERMITTED BY LAW TO BECOME BRIDES. 1382 00:42:37,355 --> 00:42:38,866 ONLY BLONDES WERE PERMITTED BY LAW TO BECOME BRIDES. ANONYMOUS WEDDINGS ARE 1383 00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:40,200 LAW TO BECOME BRIDES. ANONYMOUS WEDDINGS ARE INCREASINGLY POPULAR. 1384 00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:41,836 ANONYMOUS WEDDINGS ARE INCREASINGLY POPULAR. THIS YOUNG BRIDE, FOR EXAMPLE, 1385 00:42:41,860 --> 00:42:43,370 INCREASINGLY POPULAR. THIS YOUNG BRIDE, FOR EXAMPLE, OWES MONEY TO A WELL-KNOWN AND 1386 00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:45,540 THIS YOUNG BRIDE, FOR EXAMPLE, OWES MONEY TO A WELL-KNOWN AND POWERFUL DEPARTMENT STORE. 1387 00:42:45,564 --> 00:42:47,141 OWES MONEY TO A WELL-KNOWN AND POWERFUL DEPARTMENT STORE. OTHER NOVELTIES ARE FINDING A 1388 00:42:47,165 --> 00:42:48,676 POWERFUL DEPARTMENT STORE. OTHER NOVELTIES ARE FINDING A PLACE IN THE WEDDING RITUAL. 1389 00:42:48,700 --> 00:42:50,511 OTHER NOVELTIES ARE FINDING A PLACE IN THE WEDDING RITUAL. A PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES 1390 00:42:50,535 --> 00:42:51,779 PLACE IN THE WEDDING RITUAL. A PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES APPEARED AT THE WEDDING OF HIS 1391 00:42:51,803 --> 00:42:53,014 A PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES APPEARED AT THE WEDDING OF HIS DAUGHTER TRICIA SEVERAL YEARS 1392 00:42:53,038 --> 00:42:54,815 APPEARED AT THE WEDDING OF HIS DAUGHTER TRICIA SEVERAL YEARS AGO SPORTING FANGS, THEREBY 1393 00:42:54,839 --> 00:42:56,884 DAUGHTER TRICIA SEVERAL YEARS AGO SPORTING FANGS, THEREBY USHERING IN A NEW POPULARITY FOR 1394 00:42:56,908 --> 00:42:58,452 AGO SPORTING FANGS, THEREBY USHERING IN A NEW POPULARITY FOR VAMPIRE WEDDINGS. 1395 00:42:58,476 --> 00:43:00,922 USHERING IN A NEW POPULARITY FOR VAMPIRE WEDDINGS. HERE WE ARE AT MARJORIE'S HOME 1396 00:43:00,946 --> 00:43:02,256 VAMPIRE WEDDINGS. HERE WE ARE AT MARJORIE'S HOME THE MORNING AFTER THE WEDDING, 1397 00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:03,724 HERE WE ARE AT MARJORIE'S HOME THE MORNING AFTER THE WEDDING, WHERE THE HAPPY PARENTS SURROUND 1398 00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:04,992 THE MORNING AFTER THE WEDDING, WHERE THE HAPPY PARENTS SURROUND HER DOOR. 1399 00:43:05,016 --> 00:43:13,016 WHERE THE HAPPY PARENTS SURROUND HER DOOR. WHILE INSIDE THE BEDROOM... 1400 00:43:13,992 --> 00:43:15,937 HER DOOR. WHILE INSIDE THE BEDROOM... GOODBYE, MOTHER. 1401 00:43:15,961 --> 00:43:17,572 WHILE INSIDE THE BEDROOM... GOODBYE, MOTHER. YOU FINALLY MADE A LADY OUT OF 1402 00:43:17,596 --> 00:43:20,340 GOODBYE, MOTHER. YOU FINALLY MADE A LADY OUT OF ME. 1403 00:43:20,364 --> 00:43:21,876 YOU FINALLY MADE A LADY OUT OF ME. ♪ YOU KNOW 1404 00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:26,502 ME. ♪ YOU KNOW YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU... ♪ 1405 00:43:34,745 --> 00:43:40,160 [PIANO PLAYS INTRODUCTION] Announcer: AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR "BAD BALLET," WITH YOUR 1406 00:43:40,184 --> 00:43:43,064 Announcer: AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR "BAD BALLET," WITH YOUR HOST, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL. 1407 00:43:43,088 --> 00:43:43,864 FOR "BAD BALLET," WITH YOUR HOST, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL. HELLO. 1408 00:43:43,888 --> 00:43:45,866 HOST, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL. HELLO. I'M LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL AND 1409 00:43:45,890 --> 00:43:47,868 HELLO. I'M LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL AND WANT TO WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO 1410 00:43:47,892 --> 00:43:48,903 I'M LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL AND WANT TO WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO "BAD BALLET." 1411 00:43:48,927 --> 00:43:50,705 WANT TO WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO "BAD BALLET." TONIGHT WE FEATURE A VERY BAD 1412 00:43:50,729 --> 00:43:52,473 "BAD BALLET." TONIGHT WE FEATURE A VERY BAD WORK BY IVAN VODBODIMNIKOFF, 1413 00:43:52,497 --> 00:43:54,274 TONIGHT WE FEATURE A VERY BAD WORK BY IVAN VODBODIMNIKOFF, ONE OF THE WORST FROM THE NEW 1414 00:43:54,298 --> 00:43:56,143 WORK BY IVAN VODBODIMNIKOFF, ONE OF THE WORST FROM THE NEW EXPERIMENTAL SOVIET SCHOOLS OF 1415 00:43:56,167 --> 00:43:57,144 ONE OF THE WORST FROM THE NEW EXPERIMENTAL SOVIET SCHOOLS OF METHOD BALLET. 1416 00:43:57,168 --> 00:43:59,279 EXPERIMENTAL SOVIET SCHOOLS OF METHOD BALLET. THE LIBRETTO WAS WRITTEN BY 1417 00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:01,381 METHOD BALLET. THE LIBRETTO WAS WRITTEN BY ALEXEI STRACHEN... TERRIBLE 1418 00:44:01,405 --> 00:44:02,449 THE LIBRETTO WAS WRITTEN BY ALEXEI STRACHEN... TERRIBLE LIBRETTIST. 1419 00:44:02,473 --> 00:44:04,384 ALEXEI STRACHEN... TERRIBLE LIBRETTIST. ALTHOUGH THEY CREATED THE BALLET 1420 00:44:04,408 --> 00:44:05,920 LIBRETTIST. ALTHOUGH THEY CREATED THE BALLET TOGETHER, BOTH MEN NEVER 1421 00:44:05,944 --> 00:44:06,887 ALTHOUGH THEY CREATED THE BALLET TOGETHER, BOTH MEN NEVER ACTUALLY MET. 1422 00:44:06,911 --> 00:44:08,656 TOGETHER, BOTH MEN NEVER ACTUALLY MET. THEY COLLABORATED BY MAIL AND 1423 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:09,924 ACTUALLY MET. THEY COLLABORATED BY MAIL AND THE ODD PHONE CALL. 1424 00:44:09,948 --> 00:44:11,993 THEY COLLABORATED BY MAIL AND THE ODD PHONE CALL. THE BALLET IS CALLED, APTLY 1425 00:44:12,017 --> 00:44:13,293 THE ODD PHONE CALL. THE BALLET IS CALLED, APTLY ENOUGH, "SWAN." 1426 00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:15,096 THE BALLET IS CALLED, APTLY ENOUGH, "SWAN." THAT'S RIGHT... "SWAN." 1427 00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,297 ENOUGH, "SWAN." THAT'S RIGHT... "SWAN." NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH "SWAN 1428 00:44:17,321 --> 00:44:19,233 THAT'S RIGHT... "SWAN." NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH "SWAN LAKE," BUT SIMPLY "SWAN." 1429 00:44:19,257 --> 00:44:20,901 NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH "SWAN LAKE," BUT SIMPLY "SWAN." THE ACTION OF THE BALLET 1430 00:44:20,925 --> 00:44:22,637 LAKE," BUT SIMPLY "SWAN." THE ACTION OF THE BALLET CONCERNS GREGOR, THE EVIL 1431 00:44:22,661 --> 00:44:24,605 THE ACTION OF THE BALLET CONCERNS GREGOR, THE EVIL SWAN-KEEPER, HIS THREE LOVELY 1432 00:44:24,629 --> 00:44:26,707 CONCERNS GREGOR, THE EVIL SWAN-KEEPER, HIS THREE LOVELY WHITE SWANS AND AN ERRANT BLACK 1433 00:44:26,731 --> 00:44:28,475 SWAN-KEEPER, HIS THREE LOVELY WHITE SWANS AND AN ERRANT BLACK SWAN, AND VANYA, THE YOUNG 1434 00:44:28,499 --> 00:44:30,277 WHITE SWANS AND AN ERRANT BLACK SWAN, AND VANYA, THE YOUNG PURE-HEARTED STATE POULTRY 1435 00:44:30,301 --> 00:44:31,145 SWAN, AND VANYA, THE YOUNG PURE-HEARTED STATE POULTRY INSPECTOR. 1436 00:44:31,169 --> 00:44:32,847 PURE-HEARTED STATE POULTRY INSPECTOR. THE MAIN THRUST OF THE BALLET 1437 00:44:32,871 --> 00:44:34,615 INSPECTOR. THE MAIN THRUST OF THE BALLET CONCERNS GREGOR'S MISTREATMENT 1438 00:44:34,639 --> 00:44:36,283 THE MAIN THRUST OF THE BALLET CONCERNS GREGOR'S MISTREATMENT OF HIS LOVELY SWANS AND THEIR 1439 00:44:36,307 --> 00:44:38,085 CONCERNS GREGOR'S MISTREATMENT OF HIS LOVELY SWANS AND THEIR SUBSEQUENT LIBERATION BY VANYA, 1440 00:44:38,109 --> 00:44:39,486 OF HIS LOVELY SWANS AND THEIR SUBSEQUENT LIBERATION BY VANYA, THE YOUNG STATE POULTRY 1441 00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:40,254 SUBSEQUENT LIBERATION BY VANYA, THE YOUNG STATE POULTRY INSPECTOR. 1442 00:44:40,278 --> 00:44:42,123 THE YOUNG STATE POULTRY INSPECTOR. BEFORE WE BEGIN, I MUST MENTION 1443 00:44:42,147 --> 00:44:43,124 INSPECTOR. BEFORE WE BEGIN, I MUST MENTION THAT I MYSELF, 1444 00:44:43,148 --> 00:44:44,925 BEFORE WE BEGIN, I MUST MENTION THAT I MYSELF, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, WILL BE 1445 00:44:44,949 --> 00:44:46,694 THAT I MYSELF, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, WILL BE JOINING OUR BAD BALLET TROUPE 1446 00:44:46,718 --> 00:44:48,495 LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, WILL BE JOINING OUR BAD BALLET TROUPE TONIGHT AS A DANCER BECAUSE I 1447 00:44:48,519 --> 00:44:50,197 JOINING OUR BAD BALLET TROUPE TONIGHT AS A DANCER BECAUSE I MYSELF AM A VERY BAD DANCER. 1448 00:44:50,221 --> 00:44:52,033 TONIGHT AS A DANCER BECAUSE I MYSELF AM A VERY BAD DANCER. NOW PLEASE IMAGINE, IF YOU 1449 00:44:52,057 --> 00:44:54,101 MYSELF AM A VERY BAD DANCER. NOW PLEASE IMAGINE, IF YOU WOULD, A PRIVATE SWAN COMPOUND 1450 00:44:54,125 --> 00:44:56,270 NOW PLEASE IMAGINE, IF YOU WOULD, A PRIVATE SWAN COMPOUND SOMEWHERE IN THE URAL MOUNTAINS. 1451 00:44:56,294 --> 00:44:58,673 WOULD, A PRIVATE SWAN COMPOUND SOMEWHERE IN THE URAL MOUNTAINS. IT IS DAYBREAK AS THE BALLET 1452 00:44:58,697 --> 00:44:59,540 SOMEWHERE IN THE URAL MOUNTAINS. IT IS DAYBREAK AS THE BALLET BEGINS. 1453 00:44:59,564 --> 00:45:02,431 IT IS DAYBREAK AS THE BALLET BEGINS. [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS] 1454 00:45:36,433 --> 00:45:39,235 [TEMPO QUICKENS] 1455 00:45:48,879 --> 00:45:56,879 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES] [CRACKLING CONTINUES] 1456 00:45:59,456 --> 00:46:04,627 [CRACKLING CONTINUES] 1457 00:46:56,379 --> 00:46:59,182 [APPLAUSE] 1458 00:47:03,586 --> 00:47:08,535 THERE, NOW. THAT WASN'T VERY GOOD AT ALL, WAS IT? 1459 00:47:08,559 --> 00:47:10,204 THAT WASN'T VERY GOOD AT ALL, WAS IT? I'D NOW LIKE TO INTRODUCE THE 1460 00:47:10,228 --> 00:47:11,672 WAS IT? I'D NOW LIKE TO INTRODUCE THE MEMBERS OF OUR BAD BALLET 1461 00:47:11,696 --> 00:47:12,273 I'D NOW LIKE TO INTRODUCE THE MEMBERS OF OUR BAD BALLET TROUPE. 1462 00:47:12,297 --> 00:47:14,041 MEMBERS OF OUR BAD BALLET TROUPE. THE FOUR SWANS WERE 1463 00:47:14,065 --> 00:47:16,777 TROUPE. THE FOUR SWANS WERE CLAIRE TRAMMELL, EILEEN PIVNICK, 1464 00:47:16,801 --> 00:47:20,781 THE FOUR SWANS WERE CLAIRE TRAMMELL, EILEEN PIVNICK, MAVIS SHIRE, AND BUDDY DONGULLY. 1465 00:47:20,805 --> 00:47:26,453 CLAIRE TRAMMELL, EILEEN PIVNICK, MAVIS SHIRE, AND BUDDY DONGULLY. [APPLAUSE] 1466 00:47:26,477 --> 00:47:28,923 MAVIS SHIRE, AND BUDDY DONGULLY. [APPLAUSE] THE EVIL SWAN-KEEPER WAS DANCED 1467 00:47:28,947 --> 00:47:30,257 [APPLAUSE] THE EVIL SWAN-KEEPER WAS DANCED BY SCOTT BERG. 1468 00:47:30,281 --> 00:47:31,826 THE EVIL SWAN-KEEPER WAS DANCED BY SCOTT BERG. THANK YOU, SCOTT. 1469 00:47:31,850 --> 00:47:35,529 BY SCOTT BERG. THANK YOU, SCOTT. THE YOUNG SOLDIER, PETE HOVIS. 1470 00:47:35,553 --> 00:47:37,798 THANK YOU, SCOTT. THE YOUNG SOLDIER, PETE HOVIS. AND THE STATE POULTRY INSPECTOR 1471 00:47:37,822 --> 00:47:39,399 THE YOUNG SOLDIER, PETE HOVIS. AND THE STATE POULTRY INSPECTOR WAS DANCED BY MYSELF, 1472 00:47:39,423 --> 00:47:41,101 AND THE STATE POULTRY INSPECTOR WAS DANCED BY MYSELF, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL. 1473 00:47:41,125 --> 00:47:43,337 WAS DANCED BY MYSELF, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL. AND I MIGHT SAY I DANCED VERY 1474 00:47:43,361 --> 00:47:44,071 LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL. AND I MIGHT SAY I DANCED VERY BADLY. 1475 00:47:44,095 --> 00:47:45,605 AND I MIGHT SAY I DANCED VERY BADLY. TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE. 1476 00:47:45,629 --> 00:47:47,074 BADLY. TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1477 00:47:47,098 --> 00:47:49,810 TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE. THANK YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU. 1478 00:47:49,834 --> 00:47:51,178 THANK YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU. YES, I KNOW. 1479 00:47:51,202 --> 00:47:52,679 THANK YOU. YES, I KNOW. IT REALLY BIT IT. 1480 00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:54,715 YES, I KNOW. IT REALLY BIT IT. JOIN US NEXT WEEK WHEN WE 1481 00:47:54,739 --> 00:47:56,817 IT REALLY BIT IT. JOIN US NEXT WEEK WHEN WE PRESENT THE CLASSICALLY BAD 1482 00:47:56,841 --> 00:47:59,186 JOIN US NEXT WEEK WHEN WE PRESENT THE CLASSICALLY BAD HAWAIIAN BALLET ENTITLED "SWAN 1483 00:47:59,210 --> 00:47:59,854 PRESENT THE CLASSICALLY BAD HAWAIIAN BALLET ENTITLED "SWAN LEI." 1484 00:47:59,878 --> 00:48:02,489 HAWAIIAN BALLET ENTITLED "SWAN LEI." UNTIL THEN, GOOD NIGHT. 1485 00:48:02,513 --> 00:48:03,891 LEI." UNTIL THEN, GOOD NIGHT. THANK YOU. 1486 00:48:03,915 --> 00:48:06,849 UNTIL THEN, GOOD NIGHT. THANK YOU. [PIANO THEME PLAYS] 1487 00:48:17,861 --> 00:48:24,278 LED ZEPPELIN, LED ZEPPELIN, LED ZEPPELIN, LED ZEPPELIN! MAN, I SAY WE GIVE UP ON THIS 1488 00:48:24,302 --> 00:48:24,845 LED ZEPPELIN, LED ZEPPELIN! MAN, I SAY WE GIVE UP ON THIS MOONIE. 1489 00:48:24,869 --> 00:48:26,013 MAN, I SAY WE GIVE UP ON THIS MOONIE. SHE'S NOT GONNA CRACK. 1490 00:48:26,037 --> 00:48:27,514 MOONIE. SHE'S NOT GONNA CRACK. YES, SHE WILL. 1491 00:48:27,538 --> 00:48:27,982 SHE'S NOT GONNA CRACK. YES, SHE WILL. LOOK. 1492 00:48:28,006 --> 00:48:29,716 YES, SHE WILL. LOOK. I HAVE DEPROGRAMMED TOUGHER KIDS 1493 00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:30,584 LOOK. I HAVE DEPROGRAMMED TOUGHER KIDS THAN THIS ONE. 1494 00:48:30,608 --> 00:48:31,252 I HAVE DEPROGRAMMED TOUGHER KIDS THAN THIS ONE. NOW LOOK. 1495 00:48:31,276 --> 00:48:32,920 THAN THIS ONE. NOW LOOK. COME ON. 1496 00:48:32,944 --> 00:48:34,355 NOW LOOK. COME ON. IT'S BEEN FIVE DAYS. 1497 00:48:34,379 --> 00:48:35,022 COME ON. IT'S BEEN FIVE DAYS. LOOK. 1498 00:48:35,046 --> 00:48:36,790 IT'S BEEN FIVE DAYS. LOOK. DON'T YOU WANT ALL OF THIS TO 1499 00:48:36,814 --> 00:48:37,524 LOOK. DON'T YOU WANT ALL OF THIS TO END, HUH? 1500 00:48:37,548 --> 00:48:38,692 DON'T YOU WANT ALL OF THIS TO END, HUH? JUST RENOUNCE THAT 1501 00:48:38,716 --> 00:48:40,460 END, HUH? JUST RENOUNCE THAT SUN MYUNG MOON CHARACTER, AND 1502 00:48:40,484 --> 00:48:42,263 JUST RENOUNCE THAT SUN MYUNG MOON CHARACTER, AND YOU COULD GO BACK HOME TO YOUR 1503 00:48:42,287 --> 00:48:42,930 SUN MYUNG MOON CHARACTER, AND YOU COULD GO BACK HOME TO YOUR PARENTS. 1504 00:48:42,954 --> 00:48:45,032 YOU COULD GO BACK HOME TO YOUR PARENTS. THE UNIFICATION CHURCH IS MY 1505 00:48:45,056 --> 00:48:45,732 PARENTS. THE UNIFICATION CHURCH IS MY FAMILY. 1506 00:48:45,756 --> 00:48:47,401 THE UNIFICATION CHURCH IS MY FAMILY. I DON'T LIKE MY PARENTS. 1507 00:48:47,425 --> 00:48:48,302 FAMILY. I DON'T LIKE MY PARENTS. HOW ABOUT YOUR DOG? 1508 00:48:48,326 --> 00:48:49,370 I DON'T LIKE MY PARENTS. HOW ABOUT YOUR DOG? DON'T YOU WANT TO GO SEE YOUR 1509 00:48:49,394 --> 00:48:49,736 HOW ABOUT YOUR DOG? DON'T YOU WANT TO GO SEE YOUR DOG? 1510 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:51,238 DON'T YOU WANT TO GO SEE YOUR DOG? I DON'T HAVE A DOG. 1511 00:48:51,262 --> 00:48:52,806 DOG? I DON'T HAVE A DOG. DO YOU HAVE A CAT? 1512 00:48:52,830 --> 00:48:54,308 I DON'T HAVE A DOG. DO YOU HAVE A CAT? I DON'T HAVE A CAT. 1513 00:48:54,332 --> 00:48:56,277 DO YOU HAVE A CAT? I DON'T HAVE A CAT. WELL, WE'LL BUY YOU A CAT... 1514 00:48:56,301 --> 00:48:57,444 I DON'T HAVE A CAT. WELL, WE'LL BUY YOU A CAT... A LITTLE KITTEN. 1515 00:48:57,468 --> 00:48:59,046 WELL, WE'LL BUY YOU A CAT... A LITTLE KITTEN. YOU CAN CALL IT BOOTS OR 1516 00:48:59,070 --> 00:49:00,981 A LITTLE KITTEN. YOU CAN CALL IT BOOTS OR WHISKERS OR MUFFIN OR ANYTHING 1517 00:49:01,005 --> 00:49:01,748 YOU CAN CALL IT BOOTS OR WHISKERS OR MUFFIN OR ANYTHING YOU LIKE! 1518 00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:02,449 WHISKERS OR MUFFIN OR ANYTHING YOU LIKE! SHH! 1519 00:49:02,473 --> 00:49:04,184 YOU LIKE! SHH! I DON'T LIKE ANIMALS. 1520 00:49:04,208 --> 00:49:05,019 SHH! I DON'T LIKE ANIMALS. LOOK. 1521 00:49:05,043 --> 00:49:06,954 I DON'T LIKE ANIMALS. LOOK. YOU COULD CATCH UP ON TV. 1522 00:49:06,978 --> 00:49:08,322 LOOK. YOU COULD CATCH UP ON TV. NOW I BET YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE 1523 00:49:08,346 --> 00:49:09,123 YOU COULD CATCH UP ON TV. NOW I BET YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEW FALL SHOWS. 1524 00:49:09,147 --> 00:49:10,925 NOW I BET YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEW FALL SHOWS. RHODA GOT DIVORCED, YOU KNOW? 1525 00:49:10,949 --> 00:49:12,192 NEW FALL SHOWS. RHODA GOT DIVORCED, YOU KNOW? EVERYTHING'S CHANGED. 1526 00:49:12,216 --> 00:49:13,961 RHODA GOT DIVORCED, YOU KNOW? EVERYTHING'S CHANGED. OF COURSE, YOU MISSED MARY'S 1527 00:49:13,985 --> 00:49:15,729 EVERYTHING'S CHANGED. OF COURSE, YOU MISSED MARY'S LAST SHOW, BUT I'M SURE THEY'LL 1528 00:49:15,753 --> 00:49:16,863 OF COURSE, YOU MISSED MARY'S LAST SHOW, BUT I'M SURE THEY'LL PROBABLY RERUN IT. 1529 00:49:16,887 --> 00:49:18,665 LAST SHOW, BUT I'M SURE THEY'LL PROBABLY RERUN IT. TELEVISION IS THE DEVIL'S 1530 00:49:18,689 --> 00:49:19,533 PROBABLY RERUN IT. TELEVISION IS THE DEVIL'S PAINTBRUSH. 1531 00:49:19,557 --> 00:49:21,802 TELEVISION IS THE DEVIL'S PAINTBRUSH. I DON'T LIKE TELEVISION. 1532 00:49:21,826 --> 00:49:23,203 PAINTBRUSH. I DON'T LIKE TELEVISION. I'M GONNA PUT ON THAT MAMAS 1533 00:49:23,227 --> 00:49:24,538 I DON'T LIKE TELEVISION. I'M GONNA PUT ON THAT MAMAS AND PAPAS ALBUM ONE MORE TIME 1534 00:49:24,562 --> 00:49:25,572 I'M GONNA PUT ON THAT MAMAS AND PAPAS ALBUM ONE MORE TIME AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. 1535 00:49:25,596 --> 00:49:26,506 AND PAPAS ALBUM ONE MORE TIME AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. [KNOCK ON DOOR] 1536 00:49:26,530 --> 00:49:27,874 AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. [KNOCK ON DOOR] THERE'S THE KID FROM BURGER 1537 00:49:27,898 --> 00:49:28,309 [KNOCK ON DOOR] THERE'S THE KID FROM BURGER KING. 1538 00:49:28,333 --> 00:49:29,576 THERE'S THE KID FROM BURGER KING. I DON'T LIKE BURGERS. 1539 00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:31,145 KING. I DON'T LIKE BURGERS. BURGERS ARE THE DEVIL'S SCOURING 1540 00:49:31,169 --> 00:49:31,578 I DON'T LIKE BURGERS. BURGERS ARE THE DEVIL'S SCOURING PADS. 1541 00:49:31,602 --> 00:49:33,580 BURGERS ARE THE DEVIL'S SCOURING PADS. WELL, DON'T WORRY. 1542 00:49:33,604 --> 00:49:37,751 PADS. WELL, DON'T WORRY. WE GOT YOU A WHALER WITH CHEESE. 1543 00:49:37,775 --> 00:49:40,709 WELL, DON'T WORRY. WE GOT YOU A WHALER WITH CHEESE. OH, NO! 1544 00:49:47,550 --> 00:49:53,700 GOOD EVENING. I AM THE REVEREND SUN MYUNG MOON, LEADER OF THE 1545 00:49:53,724 --> 00:49:55,202 I AM THE REVEREND SUN MYUNG MOON, LEADER OF THE MOONIES. 1546 00:49:55,226 --> 00:49:58,995 SUN MYUNG MOON, LEADER OF THE MOONIES. [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS] 1547 00:50:03,333 --> 00:50:08,815 WE HAVE COME FOR THE GIRL. THIS KID'S GOING BACK TO HER FAMILY. 1548 00:50:08,839 --> 00:50:11,085 THIS KID'S GOING BACK TO HER FAMILY. WHY DO YOU RESIST US? 1549 00:50:11,109 --> 00:50:13,954 FAMILY. WHY DO YOU RESIST US? IT IS SO MUCH MORE PRESENT TO 1550 00:50:13,978 --> 00:50:16,790 WHY DO YOU RESIST US? IT IS SO MUCH MORE PRESENT TO SURRENDER AND BECOME ONE OF US. 1551 00:50:16,814 --> 00:50:19,126 IT IS SO MUCH MORE PRESENT TO SURRENDER AND BECOME ONE OF US. SUBMIT TO THE INEVITABLE. 1552 00:50:19,150 --> 00:50:21,428 SURRENDER AND BECOME ONE OF US. SUBMIT TO THE INEVITABLE. FREE YOURSELF OF HUMAN EMOTION. 1553 00:50:21,452 --> 00:50:23,797 SUBMIT TO THE INEVITABLE. FREE YOURSELF OF HUMAN EMOTION. WHY NOT COME TO OUR BICENTENNIAL 1554 00:50:23,821 --> 00:50:24,498 FREE YOURSELF OF HUMAN EMOTION. WHY NOT COME TO OUR BICENTENNIAL RALLY? 1555 00:50:24,522 --> 00:50:25,232 WHY NOT COME TO OUR BICENTENNIAL RALLY? YOU'RE CRAZY! 1556 00:50:25,256 --> 00:50:26,433 RALLY? YOU'RE CRAZY! YOU THINK I'M GONNA JOIN YOUR 1557 00:50:26,457 --> 00:50:27,167 YOU'RE CRAZY! YOU THINK I'M GONNA JOIN YOUR GANG OF ZOMBIES! 1558 00:50:27,191 --> 00:50:27,934 YOU THINK I'M GONNA JOIN YOUR GANG OF ZOMBIES! YOU MUST BE NUTS! 1559 00:50:27,958 --> 00:50:29,036 GANG OF ZOMBIES! YOU MUST BE NUTS! NO? 1560 00:50:29,060 --> 00:50:32,806 YOU MUST BE NUTS! NO? PERHAPS YOUR WIFE MAY BE ABLE TO 1561 00:50:32,830 --> 00:50:35,809 NO? PERHAPS YOUR WIFE MAY BE ABLE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, ROUND EYES. 1562 00:50:35,833 --> 00:50:38,445 PERHAPS YOUR WIFE MAY BE ABLE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, ROUND EYES. IT IS MY WIFE! 1563 00:50:38,469 --> 00:50:40,114 CHANGE YOUR MIND, ROUND EYES. IT IS MY WIFE! HONEY! 1564 00:50:40,138 --> 00:50:42,483 IT IS MY WIFE! HONEY! SHE'S NOT YOUR WIFE ANYMORE, 1565 00:50:42,507 --> 00:50:43,083 HONEY! SHE'S NOT YOUR WIFE ANYMORE, MAN. 1566 00:50:43,107 --> 00:50:44,418 SHE'S NOT YOUR WIFE ANYMORE, MAN. SHE'S A MOONIE. 1567 00:50:44,442 --> 00:50:46,053 MAN. SHE'S A MOONIE. WHY STRUGGLE, DEAR? 1568 00:50:46,077 --> 00:50:46,853 SHE'S A MOONIE. WHY STRUGGLE, DEAR? GIVE IN. 1569 00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:49,056 WHY STRUGGLE, DEAR? GIVE IN. I'VE SOLD THE HOUSE AND CAR AND 1570 00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,191 GIVE IN. I'VE SOLD THE HOUSE AND CAR AND ALL YOUR POSSESSIONS AND GIVEN 1571 00:50:51,215 --> 00:50:53,160 I'VE SOLD THE HOUSE AND CAR AND ALL YOUR POSSESSIONS AND GIVEN THE MONEY TO REVEREND MOON. 1572 00:50:53,184 --> 00:50:54,461 ALL YOUR POSSESSIONS AND GIVEN THE MONEY TO REVEREND MOON. NO! NO! 1573 00:50:54,485 --> 00:50:56,363 THE MONEY TO REVEREND MOON. NO! NO! YOUR SHIRTS, YOUR SLACKS, 1574 00:50:56,387 --> 00:50:58,298 NO! NO! YOUR SHIRTS, YOUR SLACKS, YOUR TIES, YOUR POWER TOOLS. 1575 00:50:58,322 --> 00:50:59,633 YOUR SHIRTS, YOUR SLACKS, YOUR TIES, YOUR POWER TOOLS. MY POWER TOOLS! 1576 00:50:59,657 --> 00:51:03,037 YOUR TIES, YOUR POWER TOOLS. MY POWER TOOLS! YOUR MONOGRAMMED GOLF CLUBS, 1577 00:51:03,061 --> 00:51:05,506 MY POWER TOOLS! YOUR MONOGRAMMED GOLF CLUBS, YOUR RCA HOME-ENTERTAINMENT 1578 00:51:05,530 --> 00:51:07,874 YOUR MONOGRAMMED GOLF CLUBS, YOUR RCA HOME-ENTERTAINMENT CENTER, YOUR ELECTRIC WOK. 1579 00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:09,043 YOUR RCA HOME-ENTERTAINMENT CENTER, YOUR ELECTRIC WOK. HOW COULD YOU DO IT, HONEY? 1580 00:51:09,067 --> 00:51:12,679 CENTER, YOUR ELECTRIC WOK. HOW COULD YOU DO IT, HONEY? WE WILL KEEP THE ELECTRIC 1581 00:51:12,703 --> 00:51:13,680 HOW COULD YOU DO IT, HONEY? WE WILL KEEP THE ELECTRIC WOK. 1582 00:51:13,704 --> 00:51:15,882 WE WILL KEEP THE ELECTRIC WOK. DON'T... DON'T LISTEN TO HER! 1583 00:51:15,906 --> 00:51:16,550 WOK. DON'T... DON'T LISTEN TO HER! GET OUT OF HERE! 1584 00:51:16,574 --> 00:51:17,251 DON'T... DON'T LISTEN TO HER! GET OUT OF HERE! GET OUT OF HERE! 1585 00:51:17,275 --> 00:51:18,252 GET OUT OF HERE! GET OUT OF HERE! WE CAN'T SAVE HER NOW. 1586 00:51:18,276 --> 00:51:19,086 GET OUT OF HERE! WE CAN'T SAVE HER NOW. SHE'S ONE OF THEM. 1587 00:51:19,110 --> 00:51:20,887 WE CAN'T SAVE HER NOW. SHE'S ONE OF THEM. GET OUT! GET OUT. 1588 00:51:20,911 --> 00:51:21,555 SHE'S ONE OF THEM. GET OUT! GET OUT. NOW COME ON. 1589 00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:22,622 GET OUT! GET OUT. NOW COME ON. YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME. 1590 00:51:22,646 --> 00:51:23,723 NOW COME ON. YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME. THEY'RE GONNA PROBABLY TRY TO 1591 00:51:23,747 --> 00:51:24,258 YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME. THEY'RE GONNA PROBABLY TRY TO GET IN NOW. 1592 00:51:24,282 --> 00:51:24,891 THEY'RE GONNA PROBABLY TRY TO GET IN NOW. YEAH, RIGHT! 1593 00:51:24,915 --> 00:51:26,527 GET IN NOW. YEAH, RIGHT! HELP ME BLOCK THIS DOOR. 1594 00:51:26,551 --> 00:51:27,261 YEAH, RIGHT! HELP ME BLOCK THIS DOOR. NOW GET OVER THERE TO THE 1595 00:51:27,285 --> 00:51:30,997 HELP ME BLOCK THIS DOOR. NOW GET OVER THERE TO THE WINDOW. 1596 00:51:31,021 --> 00:51:32,399 NOW GET OVER THERE TO THE WINDOW. EXCUSE ME. 1597 00:51:32,423 --> 00:51:33,867 WINDOW. EXCUSE ME. WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE 1598 00:51:33,891 --> 00:51:34,935 EXCUSE ME. WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE UNIFICATION CHURCH? 1599 00:51:34,959 --> 00:51:35,469 WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE UNIFICATION CHURCH? GET AWAY! 1600 00:51:35,493 --> 00:51:37,938 UNIFICATION CHURCH? GET AWAY! GET OUT OF HERE! 1601 00:51:37,962 --> 00:51:39,373 GET AWAY! GET OUT OF HERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A 1602 00:51:39,397 --> 00:51:39,906 GET OUT OF HERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A FLOWER? 1603 00:51:39,930 --> 00:51:41,007 WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A FLOWER? NO! 1604 00:51:41,031 --> 00:51:41,975 FLOWER? NO! I'M NOT INTERESTED! 1605 00:51:41,999 --> 00:51:43,810 NO! I'M NOT INTERESTED! OKAY, THANK YOU. 1606 00:51:43,834 --> 00:51:45,512 I'M NOT INTERESTED! OKAY, THANK YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY. 1607 00:51:45,536 --> 00:51:47,847 OKAY, THANK YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY. HELLO. 1608 00:51:47,871 --> 00:51:48,815 HAVE A NICE DAY. HELLO. THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE. 1609 00:51:48,839 --> 00:51:51,585 HELLO. THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE. I KNOW, MAN. 1610 00:51:51,609 --> 00:51:53,187 THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE. I KNOW, MAN. WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE A 1611 00:51:53,211 --> 00:51:53,920 I KNOW, MAN. WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE A DONATION? 1612 00:51:53,944 --> 00:51:55,522 WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE A DONATION? I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG... 1613 00:51:55,546 --> 00:51:56,256 DONATION? I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG... GO AWAY. 1614 00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:57,891 I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG... GO AWAY. I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG WE CAN 1615 00:51:57,915 --> 00:51:58,525 GO AWAY. I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG WE CAN HOLD OUT. 1616 00:51:58,549 --> 00:52:00,194 I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG WE CAN HOLD OUT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MANY THERE 1617 00:52:00,218 --> 00:52:00,594 HOLD OUT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MANY THERE ARE. 1618 00:52:00,618 --> 00:52:02,062 I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MANY THERE ARE. THEY COULD HAVE HUNDREDS OF 1619 00:52:02,086 --> 00:52:02,963 ARE. THEY COULD HAVE HUNDREDS OF BROCHURES, MAN. 1620 00:52:02,987 --> 00:52:04,164 THEY COULD HAVE HUNDREDS OF BROCHURES, MAN. THEY MIGHT EVEN HAVE A SOUND 1621 00:52:04,188 --> 00:52:04,565 BROCHURES, MAN. THEY MIGHT EVEN HAVE A SOUND TRUCK. 1622 00:52:04,589 --> 00:52:06,300 THEY MIGHT EVEN HAVE A SOUND TRUCK. HEY, WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE LOOKING 1623 00:52:06,324 --> 00:52:06,700 TRUCK. HEY, WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT? 1624 00:52:06,724 --> 00:52:07,401 HEY, WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT? THIS MOONIE STUFF... 1625 00:52:07,425 --> 00:52:08,168 AT? THIS MOONIE STUFF... HEY, MAN! 1626 00:52:08,192 --> 00:52:09,336 THIS MOONIE STUFF... HEY, MAN! LISTEN TO ME, MAN. 1627 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,171 HEY, MAN! LISTEN TO ME, MAN. DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP LIKE ONE 1628 00:52:11,195 --> 00:52:12,772 LISTEN TO ME, MAN. DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP LIKE ONE OF THOSE GOONS OUT THERE?! 1629 00:52:12,796 --> 00:52:13,340 DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP LIKE ONE OF THOSE GOONS OUT THERE?! NO, NO! 1630 00:52:13,364 --> 00:52:14,708 OF THOSE GOONS OUT THERE?! NO, NO! DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP LIKE 1631 00:52:14,732 --> 00:52:16,042 NO, NO! DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP LIKE ONE OF THOSE GOONS OUT THERE?! 1632 00:52:16,066 --> 00:52:16,577 DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP LIKE ONE OF THOSE GOONS OUT THERE?! NO! NO! 1633 00:52:16,601 --> 00:52:17,711 ONE OF THOSE GOONS OUT THERE?! NO! NO! STOP READING THAT STUFF. 1634 00:52:17,735 --> 00:52:18,479 NO! NO! STOP READING THAT STUFF. YOU UNDERSTAND?! 1635 00:52:18,503 --> 00:52:19,513 STOP READING THAT STUFF. YOU UNDERSTAND?! NO, NO! 1636 00:52:19,537 --> 00:52:20,614 YOU UNDERSTAND?! NO, NO! MANY OF OUR CUSTOMS WOULD 1637 00:52:20,638 --> 00:52:21,715 NO, NO! MANY OF OUR CUSTOMS WOULD SEEM JUST AS STRANGE TO HIM. 1638 00:52:21,739 --> 00:52:23,617 MANY OF OUR CUSTOMS WOULD SEEM JUST AS STRANGE TO HIM. WAXING PHILOSOPHICAL... 1639 00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:25,919 SEEM JUST AS STRANGE TO HIM. WAXING PHILOSOPHICAL... I AM ONE OF THEM NOW. 1640 00:52:25,943 --> 00:52:28,288 WAXING PHILOSOPHICAL... I AM ONE OF THEM NOW. IT IS REALLY VERY PLEASANT. 1641 00:52:28,312 --> 00:52:30,056 I AM ONE OF THEM NOW. IT IS REALLY VERY PLEASANT. HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? 1642 00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:31,525 IT IS REALLY VERY PLEASANT. HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? ARE YOU BUSY RIGHT NOW? 1643 00:52:31,549 --> 00:52:33,059 HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? ARE YOU BUSY RIGHT NOW? CAN I WALK WITH YOU JUST A 1644 00:52:33,083 --> 00:52:33,827 ARE YOU BUSY RIGHT NOW? CAN I WALK WITH YOU JUST A LITTLE BIT? 1645 00:52:33,851 --> 00:52:35,562 CAN I WALK WITH YOU JUST A LITTLE BIT? YOU'RE PROBABLY ON YOUR WAY TO 1646 00:52:35,586 --> 00:52:36,062 LITTLE BIT? YOU'RE PROBABLY ON YOUR WAY TO WORK. 1647 00:52:36,086 --> 00:52:37,631 YOU'RE PROBABLY ON YOUR WAY TO WORK. IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. 1648 00:52:37,655 --> 00:52:39,199 WORK. IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. 1649 00:52:39,223 --> 00:52:40,700 IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. WHY DON'T... WHY DON'T YOU COME 1650 00:52:40,724 --> 00:52:41,335 IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. WHY DON'T... WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH ME... 1651 00:52:41,359 --> 00:52:42,736 WHY DON'T... WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH ME... YOU CAN STAY IN HERE, MAN. 1652 00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:44,538 WITH ME... YOU CAN STAY IN HERE, MAN. I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF 1653 00:52:44,562 --> 00:52:45,105 YOU CAN STAY IN HERE, MAN. I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE. 1654 00:52:45,129 --> 00:52:48,208 I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE. IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. 1655 00:52:48,232 --> 00:52:50,710 HERE. IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. THE TIME HAS COME FOR YOU TO 1656 00:52:50,734 --> 00:52:53,347 IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. THE TIME HAS COME FOR YOU TO JOIN US. 1657 00:52:53,371 --> 00:52:54,881 THE TIME HAS COME FOR YOU TO JOIN US. AAH! 1658 00:52:54,905 --> 00:52:56,483 JOIN US. AAH! AAH! 1659 00:52:56,507 --> 00:52:57,984 AAH! AAH! HI! HOW ARE YOU? 1660 00:52:58,008 --> 00:52:59,886 AAH! HI! HOW ARE YOU? CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SOME 1661 00:52:59,910 --> 00:53:00,854 HI! HOW ARE YOU? CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SOME LITERATURE? 1662 00:53:00,878 --> 00:53:02,822 CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SOME LITERATURE? IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. 1663 00:53:02,846 --> 00:53:04,525 LITERATURE? IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. WOULD YOU CARE TO MAKE A SMALL 1664 00:53:04,549 --> 00:53:05,225 IT'S GENTLEMEN'S DAY TODAY. WOULD YOU CARE TO MAKE A SMALL DONATION? 1665 00:53:05,249 --> 00:53:07,093 WOULD YOU CARE TO MAKE A SMALL DONATION? HELL, CHIEF, THERE'S A WHOLE 1666 00:53:07,117 --> 00:53:08,695 DONATION? HELL, CHIEF, THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF THOSE MOONIES HERE. 1667 00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:09,530 HELL, CHIEF, THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF THOSE MOONIES HERE. YEAH, OKAY. 1668 00:53:09,554 --> 00:53:10,830 LOT OF THOSE MOONIES HERE. YEAH, OKAY. FREEZE, FELLOW. 1669 00:53:10,854 --> 00:53:12,332 YEAH, OKAY. FREEZE, FELLOW. STRIKE. 1670 00:53:12,356 --> 00:53:15,435 FREEZE, FELLOW. STRIKE. STRIKE. 1671 00:53:15,459 --> 00:53:17,003 STRIKE. STRIKE. HAVE A NICE DAY. 1672 00:53:17,027 --> 00:53:18,438 STRIKE. HAVE A NICE DAY. HAVE A NICE DAY. 1673 00:53:18,462 --> 00:53:19,873 HAVE A NICE DAY. HAVE A NICE DAY. HAVE A NICE DAY. 1674 00:53:19,897 --> 00:53:21,007 HAVE A NICE DAY. HAVE A NICE DAY. HAVE A NICE DAY. 1675 00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:24,144 HAVE A NICE DAY. HAVE A NICE DAY. HAVE A NICE DAY. 1676 00:53:24,168 --> 00:53:25,712 HAVE A NICE DAY. HAVE A NICE DAY. AAH! 1677 00:53:25,736 --> 00:53:27,281 HAVE A NICE DAY. AAH! THANK GOD, MAN! 1678 00:53:27,305 --> 00:53:29,249 AAH! THANK GOD, MAN! THANK GOD YOU CAME HERE. 1679 00:53:29,273 --> 00:53:30,484 THANK GOD, MAN! THANK GOD YOU CAME HERE. GOD! 1680 00:53:30,508 --> 00:53:31,818 THANK GOD YOU CAME HERE. GOD! YEAH, CHIEF. 1681 00:53:31,842 --> 00:53:33,853 GOD! YEAH, CHIEF. OKAY, I'M GONNA HEAD DOWN. 1682 00:53:33,877 --> 00:53:35,822 YEAH, CHIEF. OKAY, I'M GONNA HEAD DOWN. I GOT ONE MORE MOONIE TO KILL. 1683 00:53:35,846 --> 00:53:36,523 OKAY, I'M GONNA HEAD DOWN. I GOT ONE MORE MOONIE TO KILL. OH, NO, MAN. 1684 00:53:36,547 --> 00:53:37,857 I GOT ONE MORE MOONIE TO KILL. OH, NO, MAN. I'M NOT A MOONIE. 1685 00:53:37,881 --> 00:53:39,293 OH, NO, MAN. I'M NOT A MOONIE. I-I'M NOT A MOONIE. 1686 00:53:39,317 --> 00:53:41,795 I'M NOT A MOONIE. I-I'M NOT A MOONIE. AAH! AAH! 1687 00:53:41,819 --> 00:53:42,996 I-I'M NOT A MOONIE. AAH! AAH! YEAH, THAT REALLY IS A 1688 00:53:43,020 --> 00:53:44,164 AAH! AAH! YEAH, THAT REALLY IS A TRAGEDY ABOUT SAN DIEGO. 1689 00:53:44,188 --> 00:53:45,165 YEAH, THAT REALLY IS A TRAGEDY ABOUT SAN DIEGO. THEY NEVER HAD PROPER 1690 00:53:45,189 --> 00:53:46,533 TRAGEDY ABOUT SAN DIEGO. THEY NEVER HAD PROPER LAW-ENFORCEMENT TECHNIQUES DOWN 1691 00:53:46,557 --> 00:53:47,201 THEY NEVER HAD PROPER LAW-ENFORCEMENT TECHNIQUES DOWN THERE ANYWAY. 1692 00:53:47,225 --> 00:53:49,825 LAW-ENFORCEMENT TECHNIQUES DOWN THERE ANYWAY. ALL RIGHT. 1693 00:54:02,272 --> 00:54:06,687 HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE 1694 00:54:06,711 --> 00:54:08,021 HOW ARE YOU? HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE UNIFICATION CHURCH? 1695 00:54:08,045 --> 00:54:10,324 HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE UNIFICATION CHURCH? DO YOU MIND IF WE JUST TALK FOR 1696 00:54:10,348 --> 00:54:13,148 UNIFICATION CHURCH? DO YOU MIND IF WE JUST TALK FOR A WHILE? 1697 00:54:30,133 --> 00:54:36,272 AND NOW ONCE AGAIN HERE'S JOAN ARMATRADING. [APPLAUSE] 1698 00:54:50,787 --> 00:54:58,338 ♪ OH, THE FEELING WHEN YOU'RE REELING ♪ ♪ YOU STEP LIGHTLY THINKING 1699 00:54:58,362 --> 00:55:00,474 WHEN YOU'RE REELING ♪ ♪ YOU STEP LIGHTLY THINKING YOU'RE NUMBER ONE ♪ 1700 00:55:00,498 --> 00:55:02,842 ♪ YOU STEP LIGHTLY THINKING YOU'RE NUMBER ONE ♪ ♪ DOWN TO ZERO WITH A WORD 1701 00:55:02,866 --> 00:55:06,045 YOU'RE NUMBER ONE ♪ ♪ DOWN TO ZERO WITH A WORD LEAVING ♪ 1702 00:55:06,069 --> 00:55:10,116 ♪ DOWN TO ZERO WITH A WORD LEAVING ♪ ♪ FOR ANOTHER ONE ♪ 1703 00:55:10,140 --> 00:55:11,785 LEAVING ♪ ♪ FOR ANOTHER ONE ♪ ♪ NOW YOU WALK WITH YOUR FEET 1704 00:55:11,809 --> 00:55:15,455 ♪ FOR ANOTHER ONE ♪ ♪ NOW YOU WALK WITH YOUR FEET BACK ON THE GROUND ♪ 1705 00:55:15,479 --> 00:55:16,390 ♪ NOW YOU WALK WITH YOUR FEET BACK ON THE GROUND ♪ ♪ DOWN TO THE GROUND, 1706 00:55:16,414 --> 00:55:21,060 BACK ON THE GROUND ♪ ♪ DOWN TO THE GROUND, DOWN TO THE GROUND ♪ 1707 00:55:21,084 --> 00:55:22,763 ♪ DOWN TO THE GROUND, DOWN TO THE GROUND ♪ ♪ DOWN TO THE GROUND, 1708 00:55:22,787 --> 00:55:25,999 DOWN TO THE GROUND ♪ ♪ DOWN TO THE GROUND, DOWN TO THE GROUND ♪ 1709 00:55:26,023 --> 00:55:28,402 ♪ DOWN TO THE GROUND, DOWN TO THE GROUND ♪ ♪ BRAND-NEW DANDY, 1710 00:55:28,426 --> 00:55:31,905 DOWN TO THE GROUND ♪ ♪ BRAND-NEW DANDY, FIRST-CLASS SCENE STEALER ♪ 1711 00:55:31,929 --> 00:55:33,340 ♪ BRAND-NEW DANDY, FIRST-CLASS SCENE STEALER ♪ ♪ WALKS THROUGH THE CROWD 1712 00:55:33,364 --> 00:55:34,874 FIRST-CLASS SCENE STEALER ♪ ♪ WALKS THROUGH THE CROWD AND TAKES YOUR MAN ♪ 1713 00:55:34,898 --> 00:55:35,942 ♪ WALKS THROUGH THE CROWD AND TAKES YOUR MAN ♪ ♪ SENDS YOU RUSHING 1714 00:55:35,966 --> 00:55:38,211 AND TAKES YOUR MAN ♪ ♪ SENDS YOU RUSHING TO THE MIRROR ♪ 1715 00:55:38,235 --> 00:55:39,446 ♪ SENDS YOU RUSHING TO THE MIRROR ♪ ♪ BRUSH YOUR EYEBROWS 1716 00:55:39,470 --> 00:55:42,749 TO THE MIRROR ♪ ♪ BRUSH YOUR EYEBROWS AND SAY THERE'S MORE BEAUTY 1717 00:55:42,773 --> 00:55:45,585 ♪ BRUSH YOUR EYEBROWS AND SAY THERE'S MORE BEAUTY IN YOU THAN ANYONE ♪ 1718 00:55:45,609 --> 00:55:47,554 AND SAY THERE'S MORE BEAUTY IN YOU THAN ANYONE ♪ ♪ OH, REMEMBER WHO WALKED 1719 00:55:47,578 --> 00:55:50,123 IN YOU THAN ANYONE ♪ ♪ OH, REMEMBER WHO WALKED THE WARM SANDS BESIDE YOU 1720 00:55:50,147 --> 00:55:52,091 ♪ OH, REMEMBER WHO WALKED THE WARM SANDS BESIDE YOU MOORED TO YOUR HEEL ♪ 1721 00:55:52,115 --> 00:55:52,959 THE WARM SANDS BESIDE YOU MOORED TO YOUR HEEL ♪ ♪ LET THE WAVES COME 1722 00:55:52,983 --> 00:55:55,495 MOORED TO YOUR HEEL ♪ ♪ LET THE WAVES COME A-RUSHING IN ♪ 1723 00:55:55,519 --> 00:55:56,830 ♪ LET THE WAVES COME A-RUSHING IN ♪ ♪ SHE'LL TAKE THE WORRY 1724 00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:58,164 A-RUSHING IN ♪ ♪ SHE'LL TAKE THE WORRY FROM YOUR HEAD ♪ 1725 00:55:58,188 --> 00:55:59,032 ♪ SHE'LL TAKE THE WORRY FROM YOUR HEAD ♪ ♪ BUT, THEN AGAIN, 1726 00:55:59,056 --> 00:56:01,601 FROM YOUR HEAD ♪ ♪ BUT, THEN AGAIN, SHE PUT TROUBLE IN YOUR HEART 1727 00:56:01,625 --> 00:56:02,969 ♪ BUT, THEN AGAIN, SHE PUT TROUBLE IN YOUR HEART INSTEAD ♪ 1728 00:56:02,993 --> 00:56:05,038 SHE PUT TROUBLE IN YOUR HEART INSTEAD ♪ ♪ THEN YOU'LL FALL 1729 00:56:05,062 --> 00:56:06,673 INSTEAD ♪ ♪ THEN YOU'LL FALL DOWN TO THE GROUND, 1730 00:56:06,697 --> 00:56:10,377 ♪ THEN YOU'LL FALL DOWN TO THE GROUND, DOWN TO THE GROUND ♪ 1731 00:56:10,401 --> 00:56:12,912 DOWN TO THE GROUND, DOWN TO THE GROUND ♪ ♪ YOU'LL KNOW HEARTACHE, 1732 00:56:12,936 --> 00:56:14,180 DOWN TO THE GROUND ♪ ♪ YOU'LL KNOW HEARTACHE, STILL MORE CRYING 1733 00:56:14,204 --> 00:56:15,515 ♪ YOU'LL KNOW HEARTACHE, STILL MORE CRYING WHEN YOU'RE THINKING 1734 00:56:15,539 --> 00:56:20,119 STILL MORE CRYING WHEN YOU'RE THINKING OF YOUR MOTHER'S ONLY SON ♪ 1735 00:56:20,143 --> 00:56:22,422 WHEN YOU'RE THINKING OF YOUR MOTHER'S ONLY SON ♪ ♪ TAKE TO YOUR BED ♪ 1736 00:56:22,446 --> 00:56:23,490 OF YOUR MOTHER'S ONLY SON ♪ ♪ TAKE TO YOUR BED ♪ ♪ YOU SAY THERE'S PEACE 1737 00:56:23,514 --> 00:56:24,391 ♪ TAKE TO YOUR BED ♪ ♪ YOU SAY THERE'S PEACE IN SLEEP ♪ 1738 00:56:24,415 --> 00:56:27,160 ♪ YOU SAY THERE'S PEACE IN SLEEP ♪ ♪ BUT YOU'LL DREAM OF LOVE 1739 00:56:27,184 --> 00:56:28,729 IN SLEEP ♪ ♪ BUT YOU'LL DREAM OF LOVE INSTEAD ♪ 1740 00:56:28,753 --> 00:56:33,834 ♪ BUT YOU'LL DREAM OF LOVE INSTEAD ♪ ♪ OH, THE HEARTACHE YOU'LL FIND 1741 00:56:33,858 --> 00:56:35,902 INSTEAD ♪ ♪ OH, THE HEARTACHE YOU'LL FIND CAN BRING MORE PAIN THAN 1742 00:56:35,926 --> 00:56:40,206 ♪ OH, THE HEARTACHE YOU'LL FIND CAN BRING MORE PAIN THAN A BLISTERING SUN ♪ 1743 00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:45,111 CAN BRING MORE PAIN THAN A BLISTERING SUN ♪ ♪ BUT OH, WHEN YOU FALL, OH ♪ 1744 00:56:45,135 --> 00:56:49,048 A BLISTERING SUN ♪ ♪ BUT OH, WHEN YOU FALL, OH ♪ ♪ OH, WHEN YOU FALL, 1745 00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:52,908 ♪ BUT OH, WHEN YOU FALL, OH ♪ ♪ OH, WHEN YOU FALL, FALL AT MY DOOR ♪ 1746 00:57:14,330 --> 00:57:19,579 ♪ YOU'LL KNOW HEARTACHE, CRYING, WHEN YOU'RE THINKING 1747 00:57:19,603 --> 00:57:23,983 CRYING, WHEN YOU'RE THINKING YOUR MOTHER'S ONLY SON ♪ 1748 00:57:24,007 --> 00:57:26,420 WHEN YOU'RE THINKING YOUR MOTHER'S ONLY SON ♪ ♪ TAKE TO YOUR BED ♪ 1749 00:57:26,444 --> 00:57:27,320 YOUR MOTHER'S ONLY SON ♪ ♪ TAKE TO YOUR BED ♪ ♪ YOU SAY THERE'S PEACE 1750 00:57:27,344 --> 00:57:28,488 ♪ TAKE TO YOUR BED ♪ ♪ YOU SAY THERE'S PEACE IN SLEEP ♪ 1751 00:57:28,512 --> 00:57:31,425 ♪ YOU SAY THERE'S PEACE IN SLEEP ♪ ♪ BUT YOU'LL DREAM OF LOVE 1752 00:57:31,449 --> 00:57:33,894 IN SLEEP ♪ ♪ BUT YOU'LL DREAM OF LOVE INSTEAD ♪ 1753 00:57:33,918 --> 00:57:39,299 ♪ BUT YOU'LL DREAM OF LOVE INSTEAD ♪ ♪ BUT OH, WHEN YOU FALL ♪ 1754 00:57:39,323 --> 00:57:42,602 INSTEAD ♪ ♪ BUT OH, WHEN YOU FALL ♪ ♪ OH, WHEN YOU FALL, 1755 00:57:42,626 --> 00:57:47,896 ♪ BUT OH, WHEN YOU FALL ♪ ♪ OH, WHEN YOU FALL, FALL AT MY DOOR ♪ 1756 00:57:52,068 --> 00:57:54,903 [APPLAUSE] 1757 00:58:01,744 --> 00:58:06,292 OR DOES IT LOOK LIKE AN EYE IRRITATION? I DON'T KNOW, MAN. 1758 00:58:06,316 --> 00:58:07,594 IRRITATION? I DON'T KNOW, MAN. I HOPE TO GOD IT LOOKS LIKE 1759 00:58:07,618 --> 00:58:08,428 I DON'T KNOW, MAN. I HOPE TO GOD IT LOOKS LIKE AN EYE IRRITATION. 1760 00:58:08,452 --> 00:58:09,729 I HOPE TO GOD IT LOOKS LIKE AN EYE IRRITATION. THE WHOLE WORLD DON'T HAVE TO 1761 00:58:09,753 --> 00:58:10,964 AN EYE IRRITATION. THE WHOLE WORLD DON'T HAVE TO KNOW I'VE JUST BEEN CRYING IN 1762 00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:11,531 THE WHOLE WORLD DON'T HAVE TO KNOW I'VE JUST BEEN CRYING IN THE KMART. 1763 00:58:11,555 --> 00:58:12,833 KNOW I'VE JUST BEEN CRYING IN THE KMART. KNOCK IT OFF, MAN. 1764 00:58:12,857 --> 00:58:14,634 THE KMART. KNOCK IT OFF, MAN. STANDING IN THE CHECKOUT LINE 1765 00:58:14,658 --> 00:58:16,169 KNOCK IT OFF, MAN. STANDING IN THE CHECKOUT LINE WITH TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY 1766 00:58:16,193 --> 00:58:17,904 STANDING IN THE CHECKOUT LINE WITH TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY CHEEKS BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WILL 1767 00:58:17,928 --> 00:58:19,739 WITH TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY CHEEKS BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO BUY THE ORIGINAL 1768 00:58:19,763 --> 00:58:21,475 CHEEKS BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO BUY THE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK ALBUM OF "A STAR IS 1769 00:58:21,499 --> 00:58:23,577 NOT ALLOW ME TO BUY THE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK ALBUM OF "A STAR IS BORN," WITH BARBRA STREISAND, MY 1770 00:58:23,601 --> 00:58:25,712 SOUNDTRACK ALBUM OF "A STAR IS BORN," WITH BARBRA STREISAND, MY WORLD'S MOST MEANINGFUL ACTRESS. 1771 00:58:25,736 --> 00:58:26,546 BORN," WITH BARBRA STREISAND, MY WORLD'S MOST MEANINGFUL ACTRESS. YOU KNOW WHAT? 1772 00:58:26,570 --> 00:58:27,647 WORLD'S MOST MEANINGFUL ACTRESS. YOU KNOW WHAT? I HATE BARBRA STREISAND. 1773 00:58:27,671 --> 00:58:30,817 YOU KNOW WHAT? I HATE BARBRA STREISAND. SHE'S GOT THE HAIR OF A LUNATIC. 1774 00:58:30,841 --> 00:58:33,086 I HATE BARBRA STREISAND. SHE'S GOT THE HAIR OF A LUNATIC. I CAN'T BUY THE ALBUM BECAUSE 1775 00:58:33,110 --> 00:58:35,154 SHE'S GOT THE HAIR OF A LUNATIC. I CAN'T BUY THE ALBUM BECAUSE CERTAIN PEOPLE NEED THE $6.49 1776 00:58:35,178 --> 00:58:37,290 I CAN'T BUY THE ALBUM BECAUSE CERTAIN PEOPLE NEED THE $6.49 PLUS TAX THEY ARE SAVING FOR A 1777 00:58:37,314 --> 00:58:39,292 CERTAIN PEOPLE NEED THE $6.49 PLUS TAX THEY ARE SAVING FOR A BUBBLE WINDOW FOR THEIR VAN, 1778 00:58:39,316 --> 00:58:41,260 PLUS TAX THEY ARE SAVING FOR A BUBBLE WINDOW FOR THEIR VAN, WHICH THEY MUST HAVE IN TIME FOR 1779 00:58:41,284 --> 00:58:42,095 BUBBLE WINDOW FOR THEIR VAN, WHICH THEY MUST HAVE IN TIME FOR VAN-O-RAMA. 1780 00:58:42,119 --> 00:58:45,465 WHICH THEY MUST HAVE IN TIME FOR VAN-O-RAMA. YOU LAY OFF ME, BUT FIRST YOU 1781 00:58:45,489 --> 00:58:47,834 VAN-O-RAMA. YOU LAY OFF ME, BUT FIRST YOU LAY OFF MY VAN, OKAY? 1782 00:58:47,858 --> 00:58:50,370 YOU LAY OFF ME, BUT FIRST YOU LAY OFF MY VAN, OKAY? THE VAN, THE VAN. 1783 00:58:50,394 --> 00:58:50,871 LAY OFF MY VAN, OKAY? THE VAN, THE VAN. HUH! 1784 00:58:50,895 --> 00:58:52,873 THE VAN, THE VAN. HUH! CUSTOM PAINT JOB, ORANGE NYLON 1785 00:58:52,897 --> 00:58:54,808 HUH! CUSTOM PAINT JOB, ORANGE NYLON PILE CARPET ON THE FLOOR, THE 1786 00:58:54,832 --> 00:58:56,175 CUSTOM PAINT JOB, ORANGE NYLON PILE CARPET ON THE FLOOR, THE WALLS, THE CEILING. 1787 00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:57,944 PILE CARPET ON THE FLOOR, THE WALLS, THE CEILING. HOT-PINK CRUSHED-VELVET CURTAINS 1788 00:58:57,968 --> 00:58:59,679 WALLS, THE CEILING. HOT-PINK CRUSHED-VELVET CURTAINS AND CB PANEL ALL COVERED IN PINK 1789 00:58:59,703 --> 00:59:01,014 HOT-PINK CRUSHED-VELVET CURTAINS AND CB PANEL ALL COVERED IN PINK AND ORANGE SHAG CARPET. 1790 00:59:01,038 --> 00:59:03,182 AND CB PANEL ALL COVERED IN PINK AND ORANGE SHAG CARPET. AND A FAKE-FUR BEDSPREAD. 1791 00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:04,651 AND ORANGE SHAG CARPET. AND A FAKE-FUR BEDSPREAD. YOU GOT BETTER STUFF IN THAT VAN 1792 00:59:04,675 --> 00:59:05,852 AND A FAKE-FUR BEDSPREAD. YOU GOT BETTER STUFF IN THAT VAN THAN WE GOT IN OUR HOUSE. 1793 00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,086 YOU GOT BETTER STUFF IN THAT VAN THAN WE GOT IN OUR HOUSE. THAT VAN LOOKS LIKE THE 1794 00:59:07,110 --> 00:59:08,388 THAN WE GOT IN OUR HOUSE. THAT VAN LOOKS LIKE THE KING-OF-THE-WORLD'S HOME. 1795 00:59:08,412 --> 00:59:09,856 THAT VAN LOOKS LIKE THE KING-OF-THE-WORLD'S HOME. DON'T GIVE ME NONE OF THAT 1796 00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:11,224 KING-OF-THE-WORLD'S HOME. DON'T GIVE ME NONE OF THAT "KING OF THE WORLD" STUFF. 1797 00:59:11,248 --> 00:59:12,325 DON'T GIVE ME NONE OF THAT "KING OF THE WORLD" STUFF. THE KING OF THE WORLD DON'T 1798 00:59:12,349 --> 00:59:12,993 "KING OF THE WORLD" STUFF. THE KING OF THE WORLD DON'T INSTALL HIS OWN 1799 00:59:13,017 --> 00:59:13,760 THE KING OF THE WORLD DON'T INSTALL HIS OWN AIR-CONDITIONING. 1800 00:59:13,784 --> 00:59:15,495 INSTALL HIS OWN AIR-CONDITIONING. NOW THAT VAN WAS A CHEVY, AND IT 1801 00:59:15,519 --> 00:59:17,096 AIR-CONDITIONING. NOW THAT VAN WAS A CHEVY, AND IT CAME WITHOUT AIR-CONDITIONING, 1802 00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:18,732 NOW THAT VAN WAS A CHEVY, AND IT CAME WITHOUT AIR-CONDITIONING, FACTORY AIR, SO I INSTALLED IT 1803 00:59:18,756 --> 00:59:19,766 CAME WITHOUT AIR-CONDITIONING, FACTORY AIR, SO I INSTALLED IT MYSELF, REMEMBER? 1804 00:59:19,790 --> 00:59:21,467 FACTORY AIR, SO I INSTALLED IT MYSELF, REMEMBER? I INSTALLED IT MYSELF. 1805 00:59:21,491 --> 00:59:23,603 MYSELF, REMEMBER? I INSTALLED IT MYSELF. I REMEMBER. 1806 00:59:23,627 --> 00:59:25,204 I INSTALLED IT MYSELF. I REMEMBER. TILL 6:00 IN THE MORNING THE 1807 00:59:25,228 --> 00:59:26,907 I REMEMBER. TILL 6:00 IN THE MORNING THE NIGHT "EARTHQUAKE PART 1" WAS 1808 00:59:26,931 --> 00:59:27,440 TILL 6:00 IN THE MORNING THE NIGHT "EARTHQUAKE PART 1" WAS ON TV. 1809 00:59:27,464 --> 00:59:28,942 NIGHT "EARTHQUAKE PART 1" WAS ON TV. I'M WATCHING THE WORLD SHAKE 1810 00:59:28,966 --> 00:59:29,442 ON TV. I'M WATCHING THE WORLD SHAKE APART. 1811 00:59:29,466 --> 00:59:30,677 I'M WATCHING THE WORLD SHAKE APART. YOU'RE INSTALLING AIR. 1812 00:59:30,701 --> 00:59:31,444 APART. YOU'RE INSTALLING AIR. I'M ASLEEP. 1813 00:59:31,468 --> 00:59:32,779 YOU'RE INSTALLING AIR. I'M ASLEEP. YOU'RE INSTALLING AIR. 1814 00:59:32,803 --> 00:59:34,881 I'M ASLEEP. YOU'RE INSTALLING AIR. I'M FRYING UP BREAKFAST STRIPS. 1815 00:59:34,905 --> 00:59:36,482 YOU'RE INSTALLING AIR. I'M FRYING UP BREAKFAST STRIPS. YOU'RE INSTALLING AIR. 1816 00:59:36,506 --> 00:59:38,117 I'M FRYING UP BREAKFAST STRIPS. YOU'RE INSTALLING AIR. WELL, WHO WOULDN'T LIKE TO 1817 00:59:38,141 --> 00:59:38,885 YOU'RE INSTALLING AIR. WELL, WHO WOULDN'T LIKE TO INSTALL AIR? 1818 00:59:38,909 --> 00:59:39,318 WELL, WHO WOULDN'T LIKE TO INSTALL AIR? OKAY? 1819 00:59:39,342 --> 00:59:40,319 INSTALL AIR? OKAY? WHO WOULDN'T LIKE IT? 1820 00:59:40,343 --> 00:59:41,387 OKAY? WHO WOULDN'T LIKE IT? I LIKED INSTALLING AIR. 1821 00:59:41,411 --> 00:59:41,955 WHO WOULDN'T LIKE IT? I LIKED INSTALLING AIR. I LOVE IT! 1822 00:59:41,979 --> 00:59:43,189 I LIKED INSTALLING AIR. I LOVE IT! YOU GET TO USE 12 DIFFERENT 1823 00:59:43,213 --> 00:59:44,691 I LOVE IT! YOU GET TO USE 12 DIFFERENT WRENCHES. 1824 00:59:44,715 --> 00:59:46,593 YOU GET TO USE 12 DIFFERENT WRENCHES. TWELVE DIFFERENT WRENCHES. 1825 00:59:46,617 --> 00:59:49,062 WRENCHES. TWELVE DIFFERENT WRENCHES. ISN'T THAT SOME BIG NEWS? 1826 00:59:49,086 --> 00:59:50,931 TWELVE DIFFERENT WRENCHES. ISN'T THAT SOME BIG NEWS? LIKE FINDING OUT IN THE ENQUIRER 1827 00:59:50,955 --> 00:59:52,666 ISN'T THAT SOME BIG NEWS? LIKE FINDING OUT IN THE ENQUIRER HOW DIFFERENT MOVIE STARS LIKE 1828 00:59:52,690 --> 00:59:53,533 LIKE FINDING OUT IN THE ENQUIRER HOW DIFFERENT MOVIE STARS LIKE THEIR STEAK. 1829 00:59:53,557 --> 00:59:55,334 HOW DIFFERENT MOVIE STARS LIKE THEIR STEAK. ALL RIGHT, JUST LAY OFF, 1830 00:59:55,358 --> 00:59:55,902 THEIR STEAK. ALL RIGHT, JUST LAY OFF, OKAY? 1831 00:59:55,926 --> 00:59:57,136 ALL RIGHT, JUST LAY OFF, OKAY? LET'S JUST EAT HERE. 1832 00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:58,204 OKAY? LET'S JUST EAT HERE. I GOT TO GO HOME. 1833 00:59:58,228 --> 00:59:59,906 LET'S JUST EAT HERE. I GOT TO GO HOME. I GOT TO NAIL SOME MORE STUDS 1834 00:59:59,930 --> 01:00:01,274 I GOT TO GO HOME. I GOT TO NAIL SOME MORE STUDS INTO THE PLUSH CHAMBER. 1835 01:00:01,298 --> 01:00:02,508 I GOT TO NAIL SOME MORE STUDS INTO THE PLUSH CHAMBER. I HATE THAT NAME. 1836 01:00:02,532 --> 01:00:04,310 INTO THE PLUSH CHAMBER. I HATE THAT NAME. IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN 1837 01:00:04,334 --> 01:00:05,879 I HATE THAT NAME. IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN HATE OR LIKE OR AGREE OR 1838 01:00:05,903 --> 01:00:06,880 IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN HATE OR LIKE OR AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH. 1839 01:00:06,904 --> 01:00:08,982 HATE OR LIKE OR AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH. IT'S JUST THE NAME OF A CERTAIN 1840 01:00:09,006 --> 01:00:10,183 DISAGREE WITH. IT'S JUST THE NAME OF A CERTAIN AREA IN THE VAN. 1841 01:00:10,207 --> 01:00:10,784 IT'S JUST THE NAME OF A CERTAIN AREA IN THE VAN. YOU KNOW? 1842 01:00:10,808 --> 01:00:12,285 AREA IN THE VAN. YOU KNOW? I MEAN, LIKE, IT'S THE NAME OF 1843 01:00:12,309 --> 01:00:13,653 YOU KNOW? I MEAN, LIKE, IT'S THE NAME OF THE AREA EXCEPT FOR THE BED 1844 01:00:13,677 --> 01:00:14,087 I MEAN, LIKE, IT'S THE NAME OF THE AREA EXCEPT FOR THE BED AREA. 1845 01:00:14,111 --> 01:00:14,721 THE AREA EXCEPT FOR THE BED AREA. THAT'S IT. 1846 01:00:14,745 --> 01:00:16,322 AREA. THAT'S IT. IT'S THE PLUSH CHAMBER, AND IT'S 1847 01:00:16,346 --> 01:00:17,824 THAT'S IT. IT'S THE PLUSH CHAMBER, AND IT'S CALLED A PLUSH CHAMBER BECAUSE 1848 01:00:17,848 --> 01:00:23,196 IT'S THE PLUSH CHAMBER, AND IT'S CALLED A PLUSH CHAMBER BECAUSE IT IS A PLUSH CHAMBER. 1849 01:00:23,220 --> 01:00:28,401 CALLED A PLUSH CHAMBER BECAUSE IT IS A PLUSH CHAMBER. RARE AND A RARE. 1850 01:00:28,425 --> 01:00:30,570 IT IS A PLUSH CHAMBER. RARE AND A RARE. YOU KNOW, THAT WAS THE BEST 1851 01:00:30,594 --> 01:00:32,572 RARE AND A RARE. YOU KNOW, THAT WAS THE BEST MOVIE I SEEN IN SIX MONTHS? 1852 01:00:32,596 --> 01:00:34,641 YOU KNOW, THAT WAS THE BEST MOVIE I SEEN IN SIX MONTHS? IT WAS VERY TENDER, THE KIND 1853 01:00:34,665 --> 01:00:36,743 MOVIE I SEEN IN SIX MONTHS? IT WAS VERY TENDER, THE KIND WHERE YOU'RE IN THE AUDIENCE, 1854 01:00:36,767 --> 01:00:38,845 IT WAS VERY TENDER, THE KIND WHERE YOU'RE IN THE AUDIENCE, BUT YOU KEEP WISHING YOU WERE 1855 01:00:38,869 --> 01:00:41,114 WHERE YOU'RE IN THE AUDIENCE, BUT YOU KEEP WISHING YOU WERE THE ONE IN LOVE WITH THE MAN ON 1856 01:00:41,138 --> 01:00:42,716 BUT YOU KEEP WISHING YOU WERE THE ONE IN LOVE WITH THE MAN ON THE SCREEN, YOU KNOW? 1857 01:00:42,740 --> 01:00:44,250 THE ONE IN LOVE WITH THE MAN ON THE SCREEN, YOU KNOW? I GET OFF ON TENDERNESS. 1858 01:00:44,274 --> 01:00:45,619 THE SCREEN, YOU KNOW? I GET OFF ON TENDERNESS. IT'S DECIDED. 1859 01:00:45,643 --> 01:00:47,654 I GET OFF ON TENDERNESS. IT'S DECIDED. I'M GONNA DO THE EXTERIOR, 1860 01:00:47,678 --> 01:00:49,756 IT'S DECIDED. I'M GONNA DO THE EXTERIOR, CUSTOM PAINTING, IN RED AND 1861 01:00:49,780 --> 01:00:52,125 I'M GONNA DO THE EXTERIOR, CUSTOM PAINTING, IN RED AND WHITE PEARLIZED AND RED, WHITE, 1862 01:00:52,149 --> 01:00:53,026 CUSTOM PAINTING, IN RED AND WHITE PEARLIZED AND RED, WHITE, AND BLUE. 1863 01:00:53,050 --> 01:00:54,260 WHITE PEARLIZED AND RED, WHITE, AND BLUE. I'M GONNA CALL THE WHOLE THING 1864 01:00:54,284 --> 01:00:54,861 AND BLUE. I'M GONNA CALL THE WHOLE THING "NEW GLORY." 1865 01:00:54,885 --> 01:00:56,362 I'M GONNA CALL THE WHOLE THING "NEW GLORY." LIKE THE FLAG IS "OLD GLORY." 1866 01:00:56,386 --> 01:00:57,964 "NEW GLORY." LIKE THE FLAG IS "OLD GLORY." I'M GONNA CALL THIS "NEW GLORY," 1867 01:00:57,988 --> 01:00:59,265 LIKE THE FLAG IS "OLD GLORY." I'M GONNA CALL THIS "NEW GLORY," BECAUSE, LIKE, IT'S A '76 1868 01:00:59,289 --> 01:01:00,366 I'M GONNA CALL THIS "NEW GLORY," BECAUSE, LIKE, IT'S A '76 CHEVY, AND IT'S NEW. 1869 01:01:00,390 --> 01:01:01,701 BECAUSE, LIKE, IT'S A '76 CHEVY, AND IT'S NEW. IT'S GONNA BE CALLED "NEW 1870 01:01:01,725 --> 01:01:02,235 CHEVY, AND IT'S NEW. IT'S GONNA BE CALLED "NEW GLORY." 1871 01:01:02,259 --> 01:01:03,770 IT'S GONNA BE CALLED "NEW GLORY." AND IF I HAVE THE RIGHT PAINT, 1872 01:01:03,794 --> 01:01:05,404 GLORY." AND IF I HAVE THE RIGHT PAINT, I'M GONNA PUT, LIKE, GRAIN, LIKE 1873 01:01:05,428 --> 01:01:06,740 AND IF I HAVE THE RIGHT PAINT, I'M GONNA PUT, LIKE, GRAIN, LIKE A WHEAT FIELD WITH PURPLE 1874 01:01:06,764 --> 01:01:08,274 I'M GONNA PUT, LIKE, GRAIN, LIKE A WHEAT FIELD WITH PURPLE MOUNTAINS IN THE BACKGROUND ON 1875 01:01:08,298 --> 01:01:08,908 A WHEAT FIELD WITH PURPLE MOUNTAINS IN THE BACKGROUND ON THE SIDE. 1876 01:01:08,932 --> 01:01:09,709 MOUNTAINS IN THE BACKGROUND ON THE SIDE. IT'LL BE REALLY NICE. 1877 01:01:09,733 --> 01:01:10,409 THE SIDE. IT'LL BE REALLY NICE. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1878 01:01:10,433 --> 01:01:12,145 IT'LL BE REALLY NICE. WHAT DO YOU THINK? I DON'T THINK I'LL BE 1879 01:01:12,169 --> 01:01:14,147 WHAT DO YOU THINK? I DON'T THINK I'LL BE EXPRESSING OPINIONS SO NOBODY 1880 01:01:14,171 --> 01:01:16,182 I DON'T THINK I'LL BE EXPRESSING OPINIONS SO NOBODY CAN SAY I WAS GETTING ON HIM. 1881 01:01:16,206 --> 01:01:17,550 EXPRESSING OPINIONS SO NOBODY CAN SAY I WAS GETTING ON HIM. NOBODY'S GONNA SAY ANYTHING. 1882 01:01:17,574 --> 01:01:18,918 CAN SAY I WAS GETTING ON HIM. NOBODY'S GONNA SAY ANYTHING. I'M JUST ASKING FOR AN OPINION. 1883 01:01:18,942 --> 01:01:19,886 NOBODY'S GONNA SAY ANYTHING. I'M JUST ASKING FOR AN OPINION. I JUST WANT AN ATTITUDE. 1884 01:01:19,910 --> 01:01:20,419 I'M JUST ASKING FOR AN OPINION. I JUST WANT AN ATTITUDE. THAT'S ALL. 1885 01:01:20,443 --> 01:01:22,588 I JUST WANT AN ATTITUDE. THAT'S ALL. OH, ALL RIGHT. 1886 01:01:22,612 --> 01:01:25,458 THAT'S ALL. OH, ALL RIGHT. WELL, I THINK IT STINKS. 1887 01:01:25,482 --> 01:01:26,726 OH, ALL RIGHT. WELL, I THINK IT STINKS. GET OFF ME, WILL YOU? 1888 01:01:26,750 --> 01:01:28,728 WELL, I THINK IT STINKS. GET OFF ME, WILL YOU? AND HERE'S WHAT ELSE STINKS. 1889 01:01:28,752 --> 01:01:30,163 GET OFF ME, WILL YOU? AND HERE'S WHAT ELSE STINKS. THE SIMULATED WOOD PLAQUE WITH 1890 01:01:30,187 --> 01:01:31,665 AND HERE'S WHAT ELSE STINKS. THE SIMULATED WOOD PLAQUE WITH THE SIMULATED CARVING OF A NAKED 1891 01:01:31,689 --> 01:01:33,199 THE SIMULATED WOOD PLAQUE WITH THE SIMULATED CARVING OF A NAKED GIRL WITH YOUR ASTROLOGICAL SIGN 1892 01:01:33,223 --> 01:01:34,600 THE SIMULATED CARVING OF A NAKED GIRL WITH YOUR ASTROLOGICAL SIGN BRANDED ON HER BELLY THAT YOU 1893 01:01:34,624 --> 01:01:36,102 GIRL WITH YOUR ASTROLOGICAL SIGN BRANDED ON HER BELLY THAT YOU GOT CLIPPED BEHIND THE SUN VISOR 1894 01:01:36,126 --> 01:01:37,370 BRANDED ON HER BELLY THAT YOU GOT CLIPPED BEHIND THE SUN VISOR ABOVE THE LEFT WINDSHIELD. 1895 01:01:37,394 --> 01:01:39,472 GOT CLIPPED BEHIND THE SUN VISOR ABOVE THE LEFT WINDSHIELD. HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? 1896 01:01:39,496 --> 01:01:41,274 ABOVE THE LEFT WINDSHIELD. HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? I SEEN IT LAST WEEK WHEN YOU 1897 01:01:41,298 --> 01:01:42,942 HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? I SEEN IT LAST WEEK WHEN YOU WENT TO GET YOUR SUNGLASSES. 1898 01:01:42,966 --> 01:01:44,711 I SEEN IT LAST WEEK WHEN YOU WENT TO GET YOUR SUNGLASSES. AND I'LL TELL YOU ONE MORE 1899 01:01:44,735 --> 01:01:45,344 WENT TO GET YOUR SUNGLASSES. AND I'LL TELL YOU ONE MORE THING. 1900 01:01:45,368 --> 01:01:46,713 AND I'LL TELL YOU ONE MORE THING. I DON'T THINK THE LEOPARD 1901 01:01:46,737 --> 01:01:48,247 THING. I DON'T THINK THE LEOPARD HEADREST ON THE DRIVER'S SEAT 1902 01:01:48,271 --> 01:01:49,816 I DON'T THINK THE LEOPARD HEADREST ON THE DRIVER'S SEAT MAKES IT LOOK ANYTHING LIKE A 1903 01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:50,316 HEADREST ON THE DRIVER'S SEAT MAKES IT LOOK ANYTHING LIKE A THRONE. 1904 01:01:50,340 --> 01:01:52,318 MAKES IT LOOK ANYTHING LIKE A THRONE. YOU SAID YOU DID. 1905 01:01:52,342 --> 01:01:53,653 THRONE. YOU SAID YOU DID. WELL, I WAS LYING. 1906 01:01:53,677 --> 01:01:56,222 YOU SAID YOU DID. WELL, I WAS LYING. OH, AND ONE MORE THING, IN CASE 1907 01:01:56,246 --> 01:01:57,891 WELL, I WAS LYING. OH, AND ONE MORE THING, IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED. 1908 01:01:57,915 --> 01:01:59,458 OH, AND ONE MORE THING, IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED. I'M THE ONE WHO WROTE "WASH ME" 1909 01:01:59,482 --> 01:02:01,094 YOU'RE INTERESTED. I'M THE ONE WHO WROTE "WASH ME" WITH THEIR FINGER IN THE DUST ON 1910 01:02:01,118 --> 01:02:01,928 I'M THE ONE WHO WROTE "WASH ME" WITH THEIR FINGER IN THE DUST ON THE BACK DOOR. 1911 01:02:01,952 --> 01:02:03,863 WITH THEIR FINGER IN THE DUST ON THE BACK DOOR. YOU KNOW YOU'RE CRAZY?! 1912 01:02:03,887 --> 01:02:05,398 THE BACK DOOR. YOU KNOW YOU'RE CRAZY?! YOU'RE TURNING ON ME RIGHT NOW. 1913 01:02:05,422 --> 01:02:06,632 YOU KNOW YOU'RE CRAZY?! YOU'RE TURNING ON ME RIGHT NOW. HERE WE GO OUT TO SEE THE 1914 01:02:06,656 --> 01:02:07,801 YOU'RE TURNING ON ME RIGHT NOW. HERE WE GO OUT TO SEE THE BARBRA STREISAND MOVIE. 1915 01:02:07,825 --> 01:02:09,335 HERE WE GO OUT TO SEE THE BARBRA STREISAND MOVIE. WE GO TO KMART TO PICK UP COTTON 1916 01:02:09,359 --> 01:02:10,236 BARBRA STREISAND MOVIE. WE GO TO KMART TO PICK UP COTTON BALLS IN BETWEEN. 1917 01:02:10,260 --> 01:02:11,705 WE GO TO KMART TO PICK UP COTTON BALLS IN BETWEEN. WE COME OUT FOR A STEAK DINNER. 1918 01:02:11,729 --> 01:02:13,039 BALLS IN BETWEEN. WE COME OUT FOR A STEAK DINNER. AND THEN NOW, WHEN IT'S TOO 1919 01:02:13,063 --> 01:02:14,473 WE COME OUT FOR A STEAK DINNER. AND THEN NOW, WHEN IT'S TOO LATE, WHEN THE MOVIE'S BOUGHT, 1920 01:02:14,497 --> 01:02:15,975 AND THEN NOW, WHEN IT'S TOO LATE, WHEN THE MOVIE'S BOUGHT, PAID FOR, AND SEEN, YOU TURN ON 1921 01:02:15,999 --> 01:02:16,342 LATE, WHEN THE MOVIE'S BOUGHT, PAID FOR, AND SEEN, YOU TURN ON ME. 1922 01:02:16,366 --> 01:02:18,277 PAID FOR, AND SEEN, YOU TURN ON ME. BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF OUR 1923 01:02:18,301 --> 01:02:18,878 ME. BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF OUR LIFE. 1924 01:02:18,902 --> 01:02:20,947 BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF OUR LIFE. AND BETWEEN US, BELIEVE ME, WE 1925 01:02:20,971 --> 01:02:23,116 LIFE. AND BETWEEN US, BELIEVE ME, WE ONLY GOT ONE LIFE LEFT... YOURS! 1926 01:02:23,140 --> 01:02:24,951 AND BETWEEN US, BELIEVE ME, WE ONLY GOT ONE LIFE LEFT... YOURS! AND I AM TIRED OF WATCHING YOU 1927 01:02:24,975 --> 01:02:26,686 ONLY GOT ONE LIFE LEFT... YOURS! AND I AM TIRED OF WATCHING YOU BOLT BEVERAGE CADDIES TO THE 1928 01:02:26,710 --> 01:02:27,687 AND I AM TIRED OF WATCHING YOU BOLT BEVERAGE CADDIES TO THE FRONT CONSOLE. 1929 01:02:27,711 --> 01:02:29,589 BOLT BEVERAGE CADDIES TO THE FRONT CONSOLE. TIRED OF WAITING UP FOR YOU TILL 1930 01:02:29,613 --> 01:02:31,290 FRONT CONSOLE. TIRED OF WAITING UP FOR YOU TILL YOU'RE DONE INSTALLING COLOR 1931 01:02:31,314 --> 01:02:33,126 TIRED OF WAITING UP FOR YOU TILL YOU'RE DONE INSTALLING COLOR BARS THAT PULSATE IN TIME WITH 1932 01:02:33,150 --> 01:02:34,560 YOU'RE DONE INSTALLING COLOR BARS THAT PULSATE IN TIME WITH THE MUSIC OVER THE BED. 1933 01:02:34,584 --> 01:02:36,562 BARS THAT PULSATE IN TIME WITH THE MUSIC OVER THE BED. TIRED OF WATCHING YOU JEWEL THE 1934 01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:38,598 THE MUSIC OVER THE BED. TIRED OF WATCHING YOU JEWEL THE STEERING WHEEL, NOT LEAVING TIME 1935 01:02:38,622 --> 01:02:40,600 TIRED OF WATCHING YOU JEWEL THE STEERING WHEEL, NOT LEAVING TIME TO SEE ANY BUT ONE MOVIE IN SIX 1936 01:02:40,624 --> 01:02:42,301 STEERING WHEEL, NOT LEAVING TIME TO SEE ANY BUT ONE MOVIE IN SIX MONTHS OR MONEY TO BUY THE 1937 01:02:42,325 --> 01:02:45,471 TO SEE ANY BUT ONE MOVIE IN SIX MONTHS OR MONEY TO BUY THE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK ALBUM. 1938 01:02:45,495 --> 01:02:47,373 MONTHS OR MONEY TO BUY THE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK ALBUM. IN THE NAME OF MY LIFE... MOVIES 1939 01:02:47,397 --> 01:02:48,808 ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK ALBUM. IN THE NAME OF MY LIFE... MOVIES AND ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK 1940 01:02:48,832 --> 01:02:50,643 IN THE NAME OF MY LIFE... MOVIES AND ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK ALBUMS... I AM FINALLY SPEAKING 1941 01:02:50,667 --> 01:02:51,111 AND ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK ALBUMS... I AM FINALLY SPEAKING OUT. 1942 01:02:51,135 --> 01:02:53,213 ALBUMS... I AM FINALLY SPEAKING OUT. WELL, YOU JUST REMEMBER ONE 1943 01:02:53,237 --> 01:02:54,247 OUT. WELL, YOU JUST REMEMBER ONE THING, OKAY? 1944 01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:57,617 WELL, YOU JUST REMEMBER ONE THING, OKAY? I GOT YOU THAT WAY IN THE PLUSH 1945 01:02:57,641 --> 01:03:00,253 THING, OKAY? I GOT YOU THAT WAY IN THE PLUSH CHAMBER. 1946 01:03:00,277 --> 01:03:01,554 I GOT YOU THAT WAY IN THE PLUSH CHAMBER. I KNOW. 1947 01:03:01,578 --> 01:03:02,922 CHAMBER. I KNOW. AND TO TELL THE TRUTH, WE 1948 01:03:02,946 --> 01:03:04,390 I KNOW. AND TO TELL THE TRUTH, WE WERE WATCHING LAWRENCE WELK AND 1949 01:03:04,414 --> 01:03:05,925 AND TO TELL THE TRUTH, WE WERE WATCHING LAWRENCE WELK AND THE TV PLUGGED INTO THE CARPORT. 1950 01:03:05,949 --> 01:03:07,393 WERE WATCHING LAWRENCE WELK AND THE TV PLUGGED INTO THE CARPORT. WELL, WHILE I WAS PUTTING IT TO 1951 01:03:07,417 --> 01:03:08,928 THE TV PLUGGED INTO THE CARPORT. WELL, WHILE I WAS PUTTING IT TO YOU, I IMAGINED I WAS PUTTING IT 1952 01:03:08,952 --> 01:03:10,163 WELL, WHILE I WAS PUTTING IT TO YOU, I IMAGINED I WAS PUTTING IT TO ALL FOUR OF THE LENNON 1953 01:03:10,187 --> 01:03:13,733 YOU, I IMAGINED I WAS PUTTING IT TO ALL FOUR OF THE LENNON SISTERS AT ONCE. 1954 01:03:13,757 --> 01:03:14,968 TO ALL FOUR OF THE LENNON SISTERS AT ONCE. OH, ALL RIGHT. 1955 01:03:14,992 --> 01:03:16,502 SISTERS AT ONCE. OH, ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU. 1956 01:03:16,526 --> 01:03:18,471 OH, ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU. IF THIS BABY'S A GIRL, I WOULD 1957 01:03:18,495 --> 01:03:20,206 WELL, LET ME TELL YOU. IF THIS BABY'S A GIRL, I WOULD LIKE ITS FIRST NAME TO BE 1958 01:03:20,230 --> 01:03:22,308 IF THIS BABY'S A GIRL, I WOULD LIKE ITS FIRST NAME TO BE BARBRA AND ITS MIDDLE NAME TO BE 1959 01:03:22,332 --> 01:03:23,143 LIKE ITS FIRST NAME TO BE BARBRA AND ITS MIDDLE NAME TO BE STREISAND. 1960 01:03:23,167 --> 01:03:24,443 BARBRA AND ITS MIDDLE NAME TO BE STREISAND. AND I'M GONNA SEE THAT IT IS 1961 01:03:24,467 --> 01:03:25,845 STREISAND. AND I'M GONNA SEE THAT IT IS BECAUSE I'M GOING TO TELL THEM 1962 01:03:25,869 --> 01:03:27,313 AND I'M GONNA SEE THAT IT IS BECAUSE I'M GOING TO TELL THEM IN THE HOSPITAL, IN THE DELIVERY 1963 01:03:27,337 --> 01:03:28,748 BECAUSE I'M GOING TO TELL THEM IN THE HOSPITAL, IN THE DELIVERY ROOM BEFORE YOU CAN GET TO THEM 1964 01:03:28,772 --> 01:03:30,116 IN THE HOSPITAL, IN THE DELIVERY ROOM BEFORE YOU CAN GET TO THEM WHEN THEY ARE WRITING OUT THE 1965 01:03:30,140 --> 01:03:31,017 ROOM BEFORE YOU CAN GET TO THEM WHEN THEY ARE WRITING OUT THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. 1966 01:03:31,041 --> 01:03:35,721 WHEN THEY ARE WRITING OUT THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. BARBRA STREISAND JOHNSON. 1967 01:03:35,745 --> 01:03:37,857 BIRTH CERTIFICATE. BARBRA STREISAND JOHNSON. HUH! 1968 01:03:37,881 --> 01:03:39,225 BARBRA STREISAND JOHNSON. HUH! AND THERE WILL BE NOTHING YOU 1969 01:03:39,249 --> 01:03:40,660 HUH! AND THERE WILL BE NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT BUT LIVE WITH A 1970 01:03:40,684 --> 01:03:42,128 AND THERE WILL BE NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT BUT LIVE WITH A DAUGHTER NAMED FOR A PERSON WITH 1971 01:03:42,152 --> 01:03:42,862 CAN DO ABOUT IT BUT LIVE WITH A DAUGHTER NAMED FOR A PERSON WITH LUNATIC HAIR. 1972 01:03:42,886 --> 01:03:44,230 DAUGHTER NAMED FOR A PERSON WITH LUNATIC HAIR. OKAY, LOOK, MAN. 1973 01:03:44,254 --> 01:03:46,365 LUNATIC HAIR. OKAY, LOOK, MAN. YOU AND BARBRA STREISAND AND ALL 1974 01:03:46,389 --> 01:03:48,434 OKAY, LOOK, MAN. YOU AND BARBRA STREISAND AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS PUT TOGETHER DON'T 1975 01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:49,936 YOU AND BARBRA STREISAND AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS PUT TOGETHER DON'T UNDERSTAND ONE THING. 1976 01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:53,006 YOUR FRIENDS PUT TOGETHER DON'T UNDERSTAND ONE THING. A VAN IS A HOUSE ON WHEELS, 1977 01:03:53,030 --> 01:03:53,973 UNDERSTAND ONE THING. A VAN IS A HOUSE ON WHEELS, OKAY? 1978 01:03:53,997 --> 01:03:55,842 A VAN IS A HOUSE ON WHEELS, OKAY? AND IT'S GOT A LOT MORE FUR THAN 1979 01:03:55,866 --> 01:03:57,643 OKAY? AND IT'S GOT A LOT MORE FUR THAN ANY HOUSE WE'VE EVER HAD, OKAY? 1980 01:03:57,667 --> 01:03:59,179 AND IT'S GOT A LOT MORE FUR THAN ANY HOUSE WE'VE EVER HAD, OKAY? AND IT GOES WHERE YOU WANT. 1981 01:03:59,203 --> 01:04:00,780 ANY HOUSE WE'VE EVER HAD, OKAY? AND IT GOES WHERE YOU WANT. YOU GET A FUR-COVERED HOUSE. 1982 01:04:00,804 --> 01:04:02,315 AND IT GOES WHERE YOU WANT. YOU GET A FUR-COVERED HOUSE. IT MAY NOT BE REAL FUR, BUT 1983 01:04:02,339 --> 01:04:03,216 YOU GET A FUR-COVERED HOUSE. IT MAY NOT BE REAL FUR, BUT LET'S FACE IT. 1984 01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:04,417 IT MAY NOT BE REAL FUR, BUT LET'S FACE IT. THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD BUY 1985 01:04:04,441 --> 01:04:05,751 LET'S FACE IT. THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD BUY REAL FUR IS A MILLIONAIRE, OKAY? 1986 01:04:05,775 --> 01:04:06,886 THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD BUY REAL FUR IS A MILLIONAIRE, OKAY? IT'S A FUR HOUSE. 1987 01:04:06,910 --> 01:04:08,721 REAL FUR IS A MILLIONAIRE, OKAY? IT'S A FUR HOUSE. IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING IT'S NOT 1988 01:04:08,745 --> 01:04:10,623 IT'S A FUR HOUSE. IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING IT'S NOT REAL FUR, BUT THAT PLUSH CHAMBER 1989 01:04:10,647 --> 01:04:12,391 IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING IT'S NOT REAL FUR, BUT THAT PLUSH CHAMBER IS THE CLOSEST THING THAT I'M 1990 01:04:12,415 --> 01:04:14,227 REAL FUR, BUT THAT PLUSH CHAMBER IS THE CLOSEST THING THAT I'M GONNA HAVE IN THIS OR ANY OTHER 1991 01:04:14,251 --> 01:04:16,129 IS THE CLOSEST THING THAT I'M GONNA HAVE IN THIS OR ANY OTHER LIFETIME TO A MOVABLE FUR HOUSE. 1992 01:04:16,153 --> 01:04:17,030 GONNA HAVE IN THIS OR ANY OTHER LIFETIME TO A MOVABLE FUR HOUSE. DO YOU GET THAT? 1993 01:04:17,054 --> 01:04:18,198 LIFETIME TO A MOVABLE FUR HOUSE. DO YOU GET THAT? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? 1994 01:04:18,222 --> 01:04:21,968 DO YOU GET THAT? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? YEAH, I UNDERSTAND. 1995 01:04:21,992 --> 01:04:23,703 DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? YEAH, I UNDERSTAND. YOU GONNA EAT YOUR SALAD? 1996 01:04:23,727 --> 01:04:24,403 YEAH, I UNDERSTAND. YOU GONNA EAT YOUR SALAD? YEAH, YEAH. 1997 01:04:24,427 --> 01:04:24,938 YOU GONNA EAT YOUR SALAD? YEAH, YEAH. HERE. 1998 01:04:24,962 --> 01:04:25,939 YEAH, YEAH. HERE. YOU CAN HAVE IT. 1999 01:04:25,963 --> 01:04:26,906 HERE. YOU CAN HAVE IT. I DON'T WANT IT. 2000 01:04:26,930 --> 01:04:32,345 YOU CAN HAVE IT. I DON'T WANT IT. THANKS. 2001 01:04:32,369 --> 01:04:33,880 I DON'T WANT IT. THANKS. IT'S FROM YOUR FATHER. 2002 01:04:33,904 --> 01:04:35,815 THANKS. IT'S FROM YOUR FATHER. YOU WON'T ADMIT IT IS, BUT IT 2003 01:04:35,839 --> 01:04:36,282 IT'S FROM YOUR FATHER. YOU WON'T ADMIT IT IS, BUT IT IS. 2004 01:04:36,306 --> 01:04:37,616 YOU WON'T ADMIT IT IS, BUT IT IS. THE MAN WHO SAID SALAD WAS 2005 01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:38,852 IS. THE MAN WHO SAID SALAD WAS INVENTED BY COMMUNISTS. 2006 01:04:38,876 --> 01:04:40,353 THE MAN WHO SAID SALAD WAS INVENTED BY COMMUNISTS. AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME 2007 01:04:40,377 --> 01:04:41,054 INVENTED BY COMMUNISTS. AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME HE SAID IT. 2008 01:04:41,078 --> 01:04:42,755 AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME HE SAID IT. SO DON'T TRY TO GET OUT OF IT 2009 01:04:42,779 --> 01:04:43,189 HE SAID IT. SO DON'T TRY TO GET OUT OF IT NOW. 2010 01:04:43,213 --> 01:04:44,457 SO DON'T TRY TO GET OUT OF IT NOW. HE SAID IT IN THE '50s, WHEN 2011 01:04:44,481 --> 01:04:45,725 NOW. HE SAID IT IN THE '50s, WHEN PEOPLE ONLY ATE SALAD IN THE 2012 01:04:45,749 --> 01:04:46,960 HE SAID IT IN THE '50s, WHEN PEOPLE ONLY ATE SALAD IN THE SUMMER, AND IT WASN'T A HOT 2013 01:04:46,984 --> 01:04:48,194 PEOPLE ONLY ATE SALAD IN THE SUMMER, AND IT WASN'T A HOT MEAL, AND YOUR FATHER ALWAYS 2014 01:04:48,218 --> 01:04:49,095 SUMMER, AND IT WASN'T A HOT MEAL, AND YOUR FATHER ALWAYS WANTED A HOT MEAL. 2015 01:04:49,119 --> 01:04:50,496 MEAL, AND YOUR FATHER ALWAYS WANTED A HOT MEAL. SO HE TOLD YOUR MOTHER SALAD WAS 2016 01:04:50,520 --> 01:04:51,898 WANTED A HOT MEAL. SO HE TOLD YOUR MOTHER SALAD WAS INVENTED BY THE COMMUNISTS, AND 2017 01:04:51,922 --> 01:04:53,132 SO HE TOLD YOUR MOTHER SALAD WAS INVENTED BY THE COMMUNISTS, AND YOU BELIEVED HIM TO THIS VERY 2018 01:04:53,156 --> 01:04:53,532 INVENTED BY THE COMMUNISTS, AND YOU BELIEVED HIM TO THIS VERY DAY. 2019 01:04:53,556 --> 01:04:57,370 YOU BELIEVED HIM TO THIS VERY DAY. WRONG! 2020 01:04:57,394 --> 01:04:59,072 DAY. WRONG! YOU COULD TURN INTO YOUR 2021 01:04:59,096 --> 01:05:01,007 WRONG! YOU COULD TURN INTO YOUR FATHER ANYTIME NOW IF YOU DON'T 2022 01:05:01,031 --> 01:05:01,807 YOU COULD TURN INTO YOUR FATHER ANYTIME NOW IF YOU DON'T WATCH OUT. 2023 01:05:01,831 --> 01:05:03,509 FATHER ANYTIME NOW IF YOU DON'T WATCH OUT. ALREADY EVERY NIGHT YOU SIT IN 2024 01:05:03,533 --> 01:05:05,245 WATCH OUT. ALREADY EVERY NIGHT YOU SIT IN YOUR CHAIR WITH A JOINT INSTEAD 2025 01:05:05,269 --> 01:05:06,145 ALREADY EVERY NIGHT YOU SIT IN YOUR CHAIR WITH A JOINT INSTEAD OF A BEER CAN. 2026 01:05:06,169 --> 01:05:07,881 YOUR CHAIR WITH A JOINT INSTEAD OF A BEER CAN. ALREADY YOU GOT A YELLOW 2027 01:05:07,905 --> 01:05:10,083 OF A BEER CAN. ALREADY YOU GOT A YELLOW MECHANICAL PENCIL YOU DON'T EVER 2028 01:05:10,107 --> 01:05:10,683 ALREADY YOU GOT A YELLOW MECHANICAL PENCIL YOU DON'T EVER LOSE. 2029 01:05:10,707 --> 01:05:12,218 MECHANICAL PENCIL YOU DON'T EVER LOSE. AND ALREADY YOU'RE IGNORING YOUR 2030 01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:13,686 LOSE. AND ALREADY YOU'RE IGNORING YOUR WIFE. 2031 01:05:13,710 --> 01:05:15,388 AND ALREADY YOU'RE IGNORING YOUR WIFE. I'LL BUY YOU THAT ALBUM, 2032 01:05:15,412 --> 01:05:17,023 WIFE. I'LL BUY YOU THAT ALBUM, OKAY? 2033 01:05:17,047 --> 01:05:18,424 I'LL BUY YOU THAT ALBUM, OKAY? [SIGHS] 2034 01:05:18,448 --> 01:05:20,059 OKAY? [SIGHS] ALL RIGHT. 2035 01:05:20,083 --> 01:05:22,728 [SIGHS] ALL RIGHT. AND IF IT'S A GIRL, IT'S TAMMY. 2036 01:05:22,752 --> 01:05:24,630 ALL RIGHT. AND IF IT'S A GIRL, IT'S TAMMY. AND THAT TIME WITH THE LENNON 2037 01:05:24,654 --> 01:05:25,298 AND IF IT'S A GIRL, IT'S TAMMY. AND THAT TIME WITH THE LENNON SISTERS? 2038 01:05:25,322 --> 01:05:26,432 AND THAT TIME WITH THE LENNON SISTERS? IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ANOTHER 2039 01:05:26,456 --> 01:05:32,138 SISTERS? IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ANOTHER NIGHT. 2040 01:05:32,162 --> 01:05:34,007 IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ANOTHER NIGHT. RARE AND A RARE, TWO JUICES, 2041 01:05:34,031 --> 01:05:35,674 NIGHT. RARE AND A RARE, TWO JUICES, SALAD, TWO COFFEES AND A 2042 01:05:35,698 --> 01:05:38,733 RARE AND A RARE, TWO JUICES, SALAD, TWO COFFEES AND A PUDDING. 2043 01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:06,627 BYE. I REALLY ENJOYED IT. THANK YOU. 2044 01:06:15,037 --> 01:06:16,338 Announcer: NEXT SATURDAY 2045 01:06:16,472 --> 01:06:17,605 NIGHT, OUR HOST WILL BE 2046 01:06:17,739 --> 01:06:19,207 BUCK HENRY, WITH MUSICAL GUESTS 2047 01:06:19,342 --> 01:06:20,342 JENNIFER WARNES AND 2048 01:06:20,409 --> 01:06:21,209 KENNY VANCE. 2049 01:06:21,344 --> 01:06:23,211 THIS IS DON PARDO, AND NO MATTER 2050 01:06:23,346 --> 01:06:25,046 WHAT YOU'VE HEARD, MY VOICE IS 2051 01:06:25,181 --> 01:06:26,948 NOT A THREAT TO THE OZONE LAYER, 2052 01:06:27,083 --> 01:06:27,582 HONEST. 2053 01:06:27,716 --> 01:06:30,585 GOOD NIGHT. 221563