Original subtitles

This program me contains strong language and scenes of a sexual nature.

[WOMAN IN BACKGROUND:] Definitely leave the, like, lining in,

like, especially in a..

[MAN: ]Mm-hm, but actually, it'll keep you warm in the winter.

[LAUGHS: ]Yeah.

Anything going on over the weekend?

Um, no, not much, you?

No, uh, just going out to the a, uh, a bit of a jazz spot.

Oh, nice. Yeah, I've got a few friends going together.

Oh, that'll be great. Nice.

Yeah.

No, we've got a quiet weekend.

Yeah? Yeah.

You watching anything special at the moment? Um, not really.

No. Mm.

I just...

OK, have a good weekend.

Yeah, yeah...

See you later. I'm going to head off. I'll see you on...

See you Monday... Monday. Now, what do I need to take?

OK. You heading off? Huh?

You heading off? Well, yeah, you know, it's the weekend.

Yeah. All right. OK. Just give me a second.

Oh, OK. Yeah.

[ALL SING:] ♪ Happy birthday... ♪ [LAUGHING: ]Oh, God, no!

♪ Happy Birthday to you... ♪

Oh, God.

♪ Happy birthday, dear Maria... ♪

Oh, God.

[THEY CHUCKLE]

♪ Happy birthday... ♪ "Nice voice, Anthony..."

♪ To you. ♪

[ALL: ]Yay.

[APPLAUSE]

How's the birthday girl?

Too many birthdays.

Ah, I doubt that. I doubt that.

So, is there any special plans for...?

Are you going out tonight? Uh, no. Oh, no.

No. My kids are coming over for lunch tomorrow.

So. OK.

And that'll be about it, really.

Yeah. Hubby not taking you anywhere?

I don't think so.

I mean, he's probably going to cook something, you know. Mm-hm.

He likes doing a bit of cooking, so...

What's your special meal?

Spaghetti. He likes a kind of spaghetti... Right.

With a sort of, you know, carbonara, or...

Nice... Bolognese. Nice.

Something like that.

Yeah. So, what about you?

What are you going to be getting up to?

Um, I was just saying, a few friends getting together,

going out to a music gig. Yeah. Oh, that's sound good.

No, I know, I need it, man.

What kind of music? Uh, a bit of jazz. Oh, lovely.

God, I haven't listened to jazz for ages. You play anything?

No. [SHE LAUGHS.]

Do you?

Um... Saxophone.

How did you know?

I mean, I've got, I've had, like, three lessons so far, so.

Have you? Really? Yeah.

It's not like I can, uh... There'll be no tunes coming out of me...

[SHE LAUGHS ]..just a load of noise.

Oh, you might have to get yourself a gig,

and then I'll come and watch you.

Right, if you're coming,

then I'll definitely get one organised for you.

Oh, thanks, everybody, for all this.

Aw. Really nice of you.

Really lovely. Thank you.

No problem. Oh, Good. Thanks.

Yeah, have a great weekend. Have a good evening.

Thanks, thank you.

Hey-hey.

John, John, John.

John?

[CORK POPS ]Oh! Hooray!

[THEY LAUGH]

Very good. ♪ Happy birthday... ♪

Oh, no, please not the song again! No. Hey, come on.

Wait, wait, wait. First things first.

Oh, I've been looking forward to this today.

Oh, my darling. Oh, darling! Cheers! Cheers!

Thank you. Happy birthday! Oh, darling, can we skip that bit?

But it's your birthday! Of course you can't skip that bit.

Mm. Mm! Ah!

Right, do you want to eat? Mm. Yeah?

OK, well, let's get it on. [GAS BURNER CLICKS.]

Don't worry.

There we go. I've cooked spaghetti there.

OK. Have a drink.

Cheers. Cheers. To...

To you. To... Miracle Maria.

To... Maria, the miracle. [THEY CHUCKLE.]

That won't be long.

Hello. What?

[Hello! HE CHUCKLES.]

Nice.

Look. What? Undo me.

Come on!

Oh, really? Really. Come on.

I'm going to undo you. OK.

OK.

I'm struggling with the knot a little bit,

so I can't get the thing...

No, not now, Maria. Maria, not now. Really?

All right, come on. Come on.

No, come on. It's all right. No, come on.

No, no, no! Maria! Maria! Oh, shush! I...

I didn't mean not at all. Doesn't matter. It's fine.

I meant not now. No, that's OK. The spaghetti Bolognese is fine.

I don't understand where that comes from.

Oh, please, John, enough! But...

Just leave it. What do you mean where does it come from?

What kind of a stupid question is that?

Where does that feeling come from?

We've been perfectly all right up till now.

Yes, we have. We've been fine. We've had nice...

Don't worry, I won't rock the boat again!

We've made love. We make it beautiful. It doesn't matter!

It's romantic and lovely. John, please, that's enough.

But it doesn't make it... I don't know.

It didn't seem like the Maria I know.

OK. You seem like a different Maria.

Did it? Oh, right. Was it a different Maria?

No, it wasn't. It's this Maria. This is Maria.

This is Maria. This is Maria who wants to go like that sometimes,

who wants to take my clothes off in the kitchen,

who wants to have sex with my husband that isn't planned.

Well, I didn't... Is that so much to ask?

I gave you exactly what you didn't want.

Oh, you're talking rubbish. I just wanted to have sex!

I'm perfectly capable of... Ha! ..romantic sex. Yes, lovemaking.

Just not in the kitchen. You just wanted a fuck!

And what's wrong with that?

It's got to be all, you know, glowy, beautiful music.

It can be beautiful music.

It can be candlelit. Plush and sweet and gentle.

It can be romantic on your birthday. Yes. And...?

Or I... But I don't want a dirty fuck. Right, fine!

I'm not a dirty fucker! Thank you.

Night-night. Night.

[HE SIGHS]

Have we got any houmous?

Uh, there's some...

Erm, just keep digging. You'll see something.

Ah.

Oh, yeah.

Just fancied a little... dip.

It's all right, I can do it.

No, no. I'll... No, I can do it.

It's not about opening the houmous. Well, what...

Put it down. Just put it down.

Oh, I thought you were helping me to open the houmous! No.

What I was trying to say...

Mm-hm... through the... door

when you were in the bath is that I really love you. Mm.

And, erm.

I just want you to know that and just always hang onto that.

I love you, too.

I really do love you, too. We OK?

Yeah. We're good.

Yeah? We going to have a nice afternoon? Course we are.

Do you want me to open that houmous?

No! Don't!

I've been opening houmous by myself for years! I will open the houmous for you.

Let me do the others.

I actually can't open the houmous!

Yes, you... Come on.

No, I've done it. I've done it now.

I've done it. Take a knife to it if you can't. That's what I'd do.

Anyway, I've got, erm... I've got things to do that involve... What?

Flour and... What? ..Things.

We'll enter, uh... Oh, no. You don't have to... No, please.

Bake Off. No, no, no, no. Look, we've done this.

This is going to be my entry.

You did the birthday yesterday. But the children haven't done it.

They don't need cake. They need a birthday cake.

They're not six and eight. Oh, for God's sake.

[HE SIGHS]

I'm just saying. We're going to have a late lunch,

we're going to have nice wine... Oh, God.

We're going to have the kids here,

we're going to celebrate the birthday, I'll open my pres...

We don't need a cake.

It'll just have candles on top that I've got to blow out

and be embarrassed again, all over again, after work.

We don't need a cake.

I'm just trying to... I'm just trying to celebrate you.

You don't need to do anything to try and celebrate me.

Whatever I do just turns to dust.

No, it doesn't. That isn't true.

[HE SIGHS]

Just come and eat houmous with me and drink your wine.

You don't have to do anything else to make me happy.

I'm perfectly happy.

[DOORBELL RINGS] Ah!

Ha-ha!

Oh, good.

Yay!

The cavalry have arrived! Hey! Happy birthday.

Happy birthday, Mum. Come in. Happy birthday.

Hello, darling. How are you doing?

Come in. Hello!

Oh, it's so lovely to see you.

Hi. You must be David.

Hey, lovely to meet you. So nice to meet you.

Hello. How are you doing?

Oh, no, no, no. Please, John, no...

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Maria ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪

Thank you, Thank you.

[CHEERING]

Thank you, thank you.

If I never have to hear that song again, I'll...

Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech!

Oh, God. They sung it at work yesterday.

I just wanted the ground to open up and disappear.

And then I got back yesterday

and then, of course, Dad started singing it to me.

Well, why does a husband singing to his wife shock?

He did get me a really nice painting. Isn't that nice?

There we are. Yeah, that's nice.

So, how's things going?

Yeah. How long have you two been seeing each other?

Uh, about five, five-ish months now.

Oh, my goodness. Wow! Yeah.

That's a fair old while, isn't it? Yeah. Fantastic.

And how long have we been together?

Oh, God. No.

Please, don't let's go there.

Well... How long has it been now?

Oh, my God. Well, uh, uh, 30...

La-la-lah-lah-la.

Cheers to that. I don't mind saying, 31 years.

Oh, thank you. 31 years. Well, you're doing well, already.

So, which bit of Ireland are you from?

I'm from Dublin. Right. OK.

Yeah, I was born and raised in Dublin.

Yeah. Um, but I have family in Canada, and I have family...

Oh... Oh. Yeah, over in Toronto, so... Oh, wow.

Yeah, so, my dad actually lives over there now, though,

my mum is Ireland, and my dad is in...

Are they not together any more? No. They, they're not.

They were together for 24 years, or so.

But, yeah. Where, where do you, where do you think you'll, where do you think you'll settle?

Where, where do you feel like home is?

Bloody hell, Dad. Um... What? I don't know. Uh...

I think that went straight in there. No, I'm not, I'm just curious.

Where are you going to put your roots down?

Come on, you got to make a decision. No, no, no.

You're just in his face. All I'm asking...

Where will you hang your hat? That's all. Yeah... Yeah.

But he doesn't know. God Almighty. He's in his twenties.

He can hang his hat wherever he wants. He can hang his hat.

He might hang here for a bit and then, there for a bit.

And, cos he's... Yeah. But where inside is your home?

That's all I was saying. What, spiritually, is your home?

That's a big question. Yes, it is a big question.

What? What? It's a, it's important.

It is an important question, isn't?

I guess. In the long run. Do you have any...?

Some people don't know,

might never find where they're going to hang their hat.

I mean, that's the great thing about their lives,

they'll just be roaming around, and they're not looking for a place

to hang their hat, and they're very happy not hanging their hat.

I'm, I'm right. But, if you remember the song.

"Wherever I hang my hat's my home", I mean, you can roam.

Oh, God. Oh, leave it. And you, you've got your whole life

ahead of you. Uh-oh. Here we go.

What? You've got your whole life ahead you.

You roam as much as you wish.

Sooner or later, you will, you'll have to make that decision.

Papa is not a rolling stone, he is really, really.

God, it's a real theme for this weekend, isn't it?

What? No, calm down. Goodness me.

Put a lid on it. Well, I mean, honestly, it's, it's...

Sorry. No, no, it's OK.

No, sorry, the last 24 hours have been like this.

Sorry, uh, you know, we're, uh...

We're at loggerheads about, you know, where we should be,

where we want to be, where we want to go, what we want to do,

what kind of adventure we want?

Oh, for goodness' sake, John. What particular kind of fancy.

What the hell are you on about?

I'd just to say, in a very calm and collected way...

Unlike my husband.

Nobody's at loggerheads at all.

I'm just.

Well, sure about that?

Well, I'm not. I've just been saying, you know,

come on, maybe we could do something and travel or...

That's nice... we look at what we've got and, so that we're not just...

Yeah, yeah. ..staid. But, anyway.

Anyway, look, tuck in and get yourself some food.

There's plenty of food here. It looks very nice. Thank you.

I'll use a fork, I'll be polite.

Oh, thank you for reminding me of that.

France or Italy?

Ooh. I don't know. Whatever you think.

I'm not a connoisseur of any sorts, so...

I'll leave them with you, and you can decide...

Thank you... which European country you can travel to. Thank you.

So, we've, we've found a place.

Oh, stop. Stop. Hot news.

No, no, no, no. Hot new breaking news.

It's not hot news.

What? It's not hot news.

Just, Phillipa and I have found a place.

Oh. Oh, wow. But, no, but nothing's, nothing's happened yet.

But I didn't know you were going from that kind of, you know,

we'll live here a bit, and maybe... Oh, it's about the right time.

To suddenly like, uh... What do you mean, it's about the right time?

Well, you know, he's, he's what? How old are you now, 27, 28?

Is that right? What does that mean?

It's a good time to start thinking about those things.

It's a good time to stop living, is it?

No. Did I... Did we...

OK, let's stop now. No, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Did we stop living when we were 27? No, we, uh...

Well, that's debatable, but something stops, doesn't it?

We lived in a different way. It's a chapter, isn't it?

So, you, you turn the page and you move into the next chapter.

Yeah. But you need to think about the next... Thank you.

Thanks, Dad. Yes, that's my pleasure.

I know, I'm just saying, you know, don't rush.

How much is the deposit?

Um... No, don't ask that.

Why not? It's, it's necessary.

Well, cos he might not want to tell you.

We got, uh, they're looking for like a 15% deposit, or something.

OK. So, yeah. Are, are you all right with that? Yeah, yeah. We're good.

You, you, you've got that? Well, they can.

We're good for it, yeah. We're good for it. We've got it.

You've always been good with money, haven't you?

Stacking it away. I'm not sure about that.

Ooh, spend it. Spend it. Go wild and spend it.

No, they... See, that's...

Get your, get your place sorted.

Thanks for that reckless advice, Mum, I'll bear that in mind.

You can always rely on me to be reckless.

Yeah. Cheers to that. Cheers to that.

Oh, yeah, to being reckless. I like it, yes.

To the birthday girl. Yeah, to, to, uh, to your...

To mortgages. Possibly. Yeah, to mortgages. To your home.

To mortgages up that end of the table. To your home and to Phillipa.

Thank you. Thanks. Good for you.

It feels like the right thing to be doing.

Good. Yeah, so long as it's the right thing for you, that's... Yeah.

That's important. Mm. Yeah. That's good. That's really good.

It's lovely houmous. Mm.

Is she pregnant?

Oh!

She better not be. Is she? She is?

No, she's not. She's not pregnant.

You'd better fucking tell me, cos I can't wait to be an auntie.

That's what I call an adventure, anyway.

That's, that's very exciting news.

Well, thanks, Dad. Congratulations. God, help us. Good luck. Good luck.

You know, touch wood, it all goes well for you. Mm. Mm.

How are you, Alice? What's, what's going on? Good. Uh, phew.

Well, we might go to Canada for a bit.

See how we like it out there.

Oh, God. That's amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, David's got family out there.

He's from, like, he's got roots there. Yeah.

I'd love to introduce you to all my cousins, my cool cousins.

Yeah, exactly. Out in Toronto.

And just see what it brings.

Yeah. Ho-ho! Gorgeous lake with mountains and...

My girl's going to Canada. Yeah, you're excited then. That's good.

Oh, so, I'll miss you.

When are you guys, when are you guys thinking of going?

We're thinking of even getting a little cheeky bus...

Yeah, maybe going around. What do you mean, a bus?

Like, maybe rent out a bus and kind of just... Yeah.

Oh, that's so good. Go along the parks and stuff.

That's so good!

I was telling your dad, yesterday,

about this woman that I used to know who, long story short...

Oh, my God. It's pathetic, this.

What? The woman who went through America in a burger van.

Is that the one? No, it wasn't a burger van.

Why are you so judgmental about that? I'm not.

I've just heard this story many times. Sorry, you carry on.

There was this woman, I didn't know her very well, friend of a friend.

Mm. Every year, she was married, happily married, happy, had kids,

everything was great.

It wasn't because she was trying to rock the home boat,

or anything like that.

Every year, she took herself off, she flew to New York.

She hired a big motor home, and she drove across America.

On her own. To LA.

On her own. Wow. Through the desert. That's fucking cool.

Look, I'll just keep... I'm just going to take five minutes.

I'll just quickly... Sorry, go on.

You carry on. What I was saying

was that I just started to feel that you want every day to be,

not your birthday, for Christ's sake.

But every day should be something, not, you know,

you should feel that you're having your best life.

Yeah. That's it. That's what I'm meaning to say.

You should feel that you're having your best life,

or your best possible life, whatever that means to you.

You, fabulous, hats off to you,

thinking of going to Canada for a bit.

Maybe it'll work out, maybe it won't, but you're open.

Amazing.

You, you're having the best, the life that you want.

You know, you've made a choice that's very...

Hang on, Mum. No, but you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.

And I respect that. I respect that...

No, I'm joking. I'm joking.

Your choices are different, and I'm just saying that

there's such a lot.

There's nothing wrong with different.

There's such a lot I haven't done.

Hm.

Are you all right?

OK.

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

I'm just scared, I think.

I'm coming in.

There's absolutely...

There's absolutely nothing to be scared of.

Are you OK, Mum?

Yeah, I'm good.

I'm good, actually.

I really am good.

Just seems a bit...

No, no, no.

I wish I could go to Canada.

You should go to Canada.

I know! You see? That's my point.

Yeah.

That is my point, exactly.

I don't feel... remotely old.

You're not.

I really don't.

I mean, God forbid, there might come a day when I am

incapacitated, when I, my...

Who knows what?

Knees, hips, joi...

But at the moment,

I feel absolutely alive

and capable and fit.

I feel fit.

I feel...

I feel...

Hey.

Sorry.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

It's just nice to say it to somebody who listens.

I feel,

so full of potential.

I don't want to think

any aspect of my life is over.

It's not. I know.

I know.

I really know that.

I know it isn't.

And I'm not going to let it be.

I'm not... I'm not...

I'm not going to let it be over.

Cos I've got a lot to give.

Are you off?

Yeah, we're off. Yeah.

Oh.

Bye, darling.

Thank you... Ah... for everything.

I love you, Dad. I love you too.

Take care. Take care. Lovely, lovely to meet you.

Absolutely. Really lovely.

Yeah. Very good.

Oh, darling.

Thank you.

I love you. I know. Love you.

I love you too.

OK. Bye.

Drive carefully.

Take care. My bag.

Oh, yeah, don't forget that.

Happy birthday, Mum. Thank you.

Thank you. Love you both.

Bye-bye. Bye. Happy birthday! Bye. Bye.

Aw.

Bye.

Ah.

Well, he's...

He's really lovely, isn't he?

Well done, Alice.

He's great.

Well... Ha.

I! Might be waving her off to Canada for a while.

Good on her.

All I can say.

Yes? No? Hello.

Suddenly, you've got nothing to say.

That's kind of weird.

Had a lot to say earlier, that's for sure.

Oh, actually, let me rephrase that.

A lot to criticise earlier,

as in me.

What are we doing with this? Chuck it?

Just leave it. I'll do it.

I said, leave it. I'll do it. I'm just putting it down.

Yeah. Just put it down, and then I'll

put some music on and have myself a jolly old time,

and deal with it all.

Actually, how fucking dare you do that in front of my children?

How dare you patronise me?

Leave my cards alone.

I'm just going to put them on the... Well, I'll do it.

Looking at what's been written, it's been written to me.

Can I have nothing that's mine?

Me, me, me, I, I, I.

Yes, because it's my birthday.

Not that you'd know that with you.

Criticise, criticise, criticise.

Everything I said today, you picked me up on it.

And everything I've done in the last 24 hours is for your birthday.

Thank God, Alice and David have got

some kind of understanding of what it was I was trying to say.

Don't call me stupid in front of my children. No way.

That's not happening. I didn't call you stupid.

Whereas, you, everything I said was, you know,

"Oh, well, look, she wants to do this,"

and, "What's she saying?"

Like, I mean, really?

It's like I'm not allowed to say anything.

You want me to put on a straitjacket in the morning.

It's unbelievable.

Just leave me alone for a bit. Just leave me alone.

Fine.

Just burn it off. All right? Just burn off.

Fucking pissed off with not being listened to.

Just drink. Just have a drink, Maria.

Just have a drink.

Have a drink.

I really hate this. I know you hate it. Yeah, good.

Oh, "Good." Good that I hate it? Is that your intention? Is that what you're trying to do?

If you actually stopped and analysed what's happened,

and what your reaction has been,

I think you might realise that it's not stupid.

All that's happened... Listen to me.

All that's happened in the last 24 hours is that I've said,

God forbid me, I've said a few thing about not being blinkered,

about seizing the day,

about having freedom to do anything that we want to do.

That is all I've said, and you've taken such great umbrage to it.

No. Which is one thing.

I'm trying to understand it.

Oh, really? I do not understand it.

Well, then, why don't you ever say to me... I'm not stupid.

Why don't you say to me, in a calm, quiet way,

"Please tell me what you mean, Maria?

"Please, tell me what you're feeling"? Because it's always like this.

You always just... "Please..." You always fight me whenever I try and...

No, I don't fight. I'm fighting you now. Every time...

Every time I try to speak, you fight me. I'm fighting you now,

because of the way you behaved today.

I was not allowed to say things to my children.

I was not allowed to share my feelings with...

Well, you said plenty to them. You said plenty to them.

And why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't I?

At my cost.

Why is me saying that I might want to have some freedom

and have an adventure at your cost?

Why is it?

Because every time I challenge it, you take the piss out of me.

Or say that I'm playing safe. It was you who was the taking the piss out of me!

I started to tell them the story about my friend, and you said,

"Oh, here we go."

"Here's this story about this woman. Who's it?"

Whoom, crush.

Everything I said, whoom, crush.

And I'm not going to be crushed by you, or anybody.

Urgh.

I'm not going to apologise because.

I don't see why I should have to.

But I don't want to shout.

I don't like shouting. But...

I would like it if you could understand that

what we did when we were young

we got this home and we had the children, and we

absolutely did it.

But there was so much that I didn't do.

Things I really, achingly wanted to do,

and just couldn't do them.

And now

we don't have those responsibilities and

I'm not in my late twenties, or early thirties,

but I am absolutely in my prime.

My prime.

And I'm not...

I'm not going to waste it.

I'm going to do this with or without you.

That's it, really.

[SHE EXHALES]

I'm sorry, John.

Maria.

Please.

Oh, shit. [SHE SIGHS.]

[SHE PANTS]

[SHE WRIGGLES GEAR STICK]

[ENGINE REVS]

Nice. Nice...

Nice room.

Very, um...

Very bachelor-y. Yeah? [SHE GIGGLES.]

You know

the big TV and the big sofa and... Mm-hm

that's kind of

all you need. Mm-hm.

All you need, indeed. [SHE CHUCKLES.]

Why are you here?

Why am I here? Mm.

Well, because

there's this... thing that passes between

two people. [SOFTLY:] Mm-hm,

and I think it's

passing between us.

And...

I'm not gonna pretend it's not... happening,

and I

want it.

So... Mm-hm...

What are we doing here?

I don't know. What are we doing here?

How's the wine?

It's going down well. Mm-hm? [SHE CHUCKLES.

Mm...

[SHE SIGHS]

Hey...

Hey, you.

[SHE MOANS SOFTLY]

Oh...

[SHE MOANS SOFTLY]

Oh...

[SHE EXHALES]

[SHE WHIMPERS SOFTLY]

[SHE PANTS]

[THEY PANT]

[HE MOANS]

[SOFTLY:] Oh, shit...

Yeah...!

[SHE LAUGHS]

[SHE MOANS]

[THEY CHUCKLE ]Mm...

[THEY PANT]

[HE KISSES HER, SHE CHUCKLES]

[SHE CHUCKLES, HE PURRS]

I think.

I'm going to have to resign.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

I want new Maria.

I don't want old Maria any more.

[KEYS CLATTER SOFTLY]

[SHE INHALES, SNIFFLES]

[SHE WHIMPERS]

[SHE SNIFFLES

Wasn't sure if you were coming back.

[HE SOBS]

[HE SOBS]

Darling, you'll be all right.

[HE SOBS GENTLY]

[HE SOBS FORCEFULLY]

[HE CRIES]

Subtitles by Red Bee Media