Original subtitles

A hospital in New Haven

reporting Connecticut's first ever case of the novel coronavirus.

So, against all odds, I lived. And because I lived,

I decided that I was gonna pursue joy. At all costs.

- Guys, I have an unresponsive patient! - -What's going on?

Bad call, man. You're her superior.

You understand? That's like a fireable offense.

If you wanted talk about what happened...

I don't have to talk about what happened. Do you wanna talk--

Oh. No, no, no. If you're good, I'm good.

-We're great. -Okay. We're good.

-Yeah, it's good. -Yeah, good.

As I made crystal clear in my email, Corey,

I wanted fresh peonies placed in every room two hours before arrival.

And seeing as this boat is a buyout for my wedding,

I was shocked when we arrived and I saw windows open.

Tell me, Corey, tell me, Corey, how is the smell of fresh peonies

supposed to suffuse the air if the windows are open?

I'm so sorry. Our guests usually like the fresh air.

I'll see what I can do.

Thank you.

Oh, wow.

Hello.

Oh, wow. Come lay out with your mama. Take a load off.

-Baby oil? -Uh-huh.

What, so I can look like an old leather tanning boot before I'm 30?

Pass.

You really should try a self-tanner, I've been telling you.

I don't spray, I lay.

Thirty years of cruising, Mama knows how to get a tan.

I'm getting married!

All right. Give it up for the best man. Bennet.

Hey, everyone. So, this dude, Eric,

has been my best friend since seventh grade.

And he is very nervous that I'm gonna say something embarrassing,

like how many girls he slept with at Sig Alph

but I'm not gonna do that,

- 'cause it was way too many to count.

- Way too many. But, seriously... - Make him shut up.

-He's just messing around. -Eric, it's embarrassing.

It's not true. Come on.

-It's not funny either. -Hey. Come on. It's fine.

Where's Mom?

This is the welcome dinner. She's just missing it?

And he bought me a house.

I don't have great credit... ...in case anyone wonders...

-Are you crying, Cap? -No.

Maybe.

So what if I am?

I'm a sucker for love.

These antiquated mating rituals are not about love anymore.

They're about money, Instagram likes, and making your single friends jealous.

Look at them all, they're miserable. Especially the bride and groom.

I don't know. I always thought my wedding day...

Well, never mind.

-Say it. -No. You made yourself abundantly clear.

- You're just gonna make fun of me.

Fine. I always thought my wedding day would be the proudest day of my life.

Didn't the president give you an award for saving infants with club feet?

-Cleft palates. -Oh.

And it was the UN Secretary-General.

I'd like to get married one day. Have a big family.

Six little Tristans running around. Oh. Can you picture it?

- That's an admirable goal. - Huh.

The world needs more love. Lots of love. All different kinds of love.

I'm for it.

What's so wrong about celebrating it?

I love you, Eric.

I really do.

And I'm not going anywhere.

Cheers, everyone. Yeah. Cheers!

Where is Mom?

This is insane.

I don't know. Just try to enjoy yourself, all right?

It's an extreme sunburn. Second-degree burns,

blistering on both of her limbs.

Sleepy Sun Syndrome. We've seen it a thousand times.

But never like this.

-Sweet mother of-- -The bride.

Mother of the bride!

The ceremony is in-in three days. You have to help me.

Deep breaths, Ellen.

Let's give her four of morphine, tetanus shot, and hang lactated Ringer's.

It just doesn't make sense. I never burn.

I live in South Florida. I know how to lay out.

Are you on any new medications? Or maybe a new skin care routine?

I-I-I don't know. I started some antibiotic crap a couple weeks ago.

-Doxycycline? -Doxy... What?

I'm not a scientist.

It's for my rosacea. I didn't want to look red in the pictures. Well...

Tetracycline antibiotics can cause severe photosensitivity.

It's like developing an allergy to the sun.

Jesus wept. Just stick me with an EpiPen,

I have to look good for this wedding.

We're gonna give you something for the pain, something to reduce inflammation.

- And these blisters... - Watch it!

...are going to rupture and peel.

-This is gonna ruin everything. -Mrs. Parsons, I don't want you to worry.

We here at The Odyssey are experts in sunburn care.

And I'd bet that somewhere under that redness

there is a beautiful, golden, Riviera tan just waiting to be set free.

Oh, Lord, I hope so.

'Cause that girl's gonna cook my goose if I show up looking like this.

Please don't come in. - Don't listen to her.

-Just come in. Thank you. Come on in. -Hi.

-Oh, my God. Please don't look. -You're okay. Talk to me. What's going on?

-His thing is stuck and won't come out. -She won't let me out.

-It closed like a bear trap. -It's like... in it.

-It's been like this for a while. -Deep breaths, both of you.

What you're experiencing is a condition called Penis Captivus.

- What? Penis what? - Captivus.

It's a stress response.

The vaginal muscle spasms and firmly closes.

If the penis remains engorged, it can exacerbate the situation.

Just give us one sec. So...

We need to get her to relax, but the more she tries, the worse this is gonna get.

We gotta get her to focus on something else.

Having an audience isn't helping. I have an idea.

There should be an endoscopic balloon dilator in the triage bag.

-That's a great idea. -Manual separation, very good.

Maybe you can cue up one of those famous, long-winded Max Bankman stories

just for good measure.

- Deyja? - Yes.

This device is called a balloon catheter.

I want you to gently insert this end as best as you can, okay?

Oh, my God.

And I am going to slowly inflate the balloon

and try to coax the vaginal walls to open.

Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing.

Probably the stupidest thing you've seen in your whole life.

Nothing to be embarrassed about.

Let me tell you about something embarrassing.

So, when I was a kid I loved to play ding-dong ditch.

You know that game? Where you press the doorbell and run away.

-Yeah, sure. -Uh-huh.

This one time, I'm nine years old. Pushed the doorbell, I'm running away.

Just about to turn the corner and I see these two cops.

Their shadows there on the pavement.

Big dudes, flat tops. The whole nine yards. And I'm terrified.

My heart is in my throat.

And I just know, "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

My life is over. These guys are gonna bust me."

I'm looking around, "Where am I gonna go?" And I see the alley.

And I think, "This is it. This is my chance to escape."

So I screw up all of my courage, I take one step and boom!

All the lights come on.

Klieg lights everywhere. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

And I turn around knowing I'm busted and...

-What? -What happened?

No cops.

Just two brooms laying up against the fence.

-Two brooms? -There was nobody even in the house.

There wasn't anybody home.

- Oh, my God. - Hey.

- It's out. - There it is.

Oh, my Gosh. Thank you.

Oh. Hey, but... Can I get, like, your Instagram handle just so we can...

- Really? - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Oh. Thanks, Doc.

Hey, Bennet, uh, can I see you down in the infirmary?

-Just for a quick follow-up. -Yeah. Sure, man.

Thanks.

Okay, what is going on?

You look properly bugged out. And that looks like garden-variety eczema.

It's not.

Bennet, are you familiar with Trichophyton mentagrophytes type seven?

-No. -More commonly known as ringworm.

It's usually a garden-variety fungal infection, nothing to be worried about,

but there is a rare strain, spread through skin-to-skin contact

that I saw while I was in Africa.

Left untreated, it can have some pretty serious symptoms, including blindness.

The good news is, because we caught it early,

cultured it to be exactly sure, yours will not be left untreated.

-There is a drug. -Bad news is, we don't have it on hand.

But we can get it at the next port.

In the meantime I'm gonna give you clotrimazole cream

that will bring down the itchiness and redness.

-Okay. -And, mate, no more pulling tail.

That's what weddings are for. Thank you.

No. No. No. This strain is highly, highly contagious.

Anyone you've had sexual contact with is gonna need to be alerted,

including Deyja.

We can do it on your behalf, if you prefer.

I'm fine. I, uh, I'm not a complete jackass.

I'll handle it. Thank you.

Look at all these happy wedding guests.

Marriage causes nothing but agony. I stand by it.

Come on, you have never wanted to fall in love?

I thought about it once.

And? What changed your mind?

I went through with it.

You... Wait, hold on. You?

- You were married? - Yes. Yes.

For the briefest of moments. This does not leave this circle.

Of course. Your secret's safe with me.

So long as you tell me all the scintillating details.

Scintillating, it was not. It was a depressingly short story.

Even better. I'm a very busy doctor, as you can see.

I had known Kevin since kindergarten.

And he was funny and charming,

easy.

And after graduation, we fell into a routine,

hanging with the same crew from high school,

weekends drinking beers in Tessa Matsumoto's garage.

And I thought, "Okay, we'll just keep doing this forever. Cool.

Get married? Why the heck not?"

But?

But on our honeymoon his phone kept blowing up.

He was in the shower. And with one little peek,

everything I thought I knew about this person went up in smoke.

No...

-Wait. Not-- -Tessa Matsumoto. Yeah.

-The one and only. -Oh, man, that sucks.

-I'm so sorry. -Don't be.

I'm very over it.

It led me to reevaluate my life.

And it inspired me to make a bucket list.

And the first thing on it was to see the world. That's why I took this job.

What else is on that bucket list?

- I'll never tell. - Oh, come on.

Well, I for one, am glad you're here.

And to hell with Kevin and Tessa Matsumoto.

-They just had triplets. -Oof!

Karma is the best.

Does it ever abate, even for a second?

Nope. Let's go.

Get out. You're not supposed to see me like this!

- Relax, all right? - Get out.

Just promise you'll take care of her, yeah?

Oh, good, you're here.

She's-- She's having some kind of episode. Jitters, maybe.

-This is to monitor your vitals. -It's not jitters, Mama.

Oh, come on, baby girl, get it all out.

- All right. Let me take a look. - Oh.

Fever.

Diaphoretic.

Jaundice of the eyes.

You mind leaning back for me?

Oh.

Looks like pancreatitis.

Are you on any medications?

Oh, dear God.

Uh. You don't understand, my dress, it's, um...

It's a vintage Vera Wang, it's a size two.

She's been taking that Oz-lympic or whatever it's called.

You know, the-the skinny girl drug.

I told her, back in my day the way we fit into our dresses

was the old-fashioned way: laxatives, prunes and prayers.

This dress, it's just, um... it's a one of a kind and it can't be altered.

And it still won't zip.

So last week I doubled the dose,

-just to get the last few pounds-- -Doubled?

I need you to come with me right now. Are you okay to walk

-or would you prefer a wheelchair? -Where are you taking her?

You daughter needs IV fluids, antibiotics and possibly a CT scan.

Whoa. Fluids? Yeah. No, no. I'll bloat. I can't do that.

Oh. But the rehearsal is tomorrow morning.

Ma'am, your daughter is at serious risk of liver failure.

Unless you want this wedding to turn into a funeral,

I need to admit her until I see a marked improvement in her health.

How tall are you?

You ready?

- Cue music! - Sorry.

Okay. And we're moving. We're moving. Come on.

And we're walking. Let's go. Let's go.

Okay. Good. Good. Good.

Oh. You two look great. Okay. Do you know what to do over here?

Where's my chair?

- Housekeeping. - Sorry, Mrs. Parsons.

- So if you go there. Excuse me. - Thanks.

Keep space between you. Now, keep going. This is it.

- Fantastic, guys. - That's the way I want it.

Wow. She makes such a beautiful bride. Don't you think?

- Oh, my God. That's not the bride! - Sorry.

-Your daughter is more beautiful. -This is a rehearsal.

The bride and groom need to know their marks.

Because she's recuperating and I couldn't...

I couldn't let the groom walk down here with some stranger, 'cause it's bad luck.

We will play the video back, so they'll see where they're supposed to go.

-Honey. -Hi.

Okay. Vows. Yada yada yada.

Uh. As long as you both shall live... Uh. In sickness and in health--

Oh, absolutely not. One sniffle and I'm running away with Felipe.

The pool boy? How dare you?

And by the powers vested in me by Poseidon and Davy Jones,

you may kiss the bride.

I object!

Oh, please.

Sorry, I've always wanted to do that, for the drama.

Hey. Come on.

Yeah, well, this is-- this is over for the rehearsal.

The wedding hasn't even started.

Don't you know this is just a fake wedding?

You people are so stupid.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Hey, Doc. Um.

You think, uh...

Care to have a word?

Of course.

It started to show up a few days ago.

You seen it before, Doc?

Yeah. Actually, I have seen that before.

Oh, God.

I don't know what I'm gonna do, man.

Lisa hasn't wanted to mess around because of the, you know,

all the wedding stuff.

But with the honeymoon coming up... Man, she's gonna find out everything.

-Hey. Hey. -I just don't know what to do.

Slow down. What's everything?

Um. Let me get to know you a little bit, okay?

You said on your intake form that you've had one partner in the last 30 days.

-You've been tested for STI's. -No, stop. Stop.

I come in here and you-you ask me to fill out a chart on your iPad,

how many drinks I have, and-and how many sexual partners,

and you think that you would know me from that.

I mean... ...it's all a lie, man.

All of this is a lie.

My whole life is a lie.

Eric, I got into this line of work so I could help people with problems,

not to judge them for it.

But I can only help you if you'll tell me the truth.

I'm not a good person.

I'm really not.

How many partners have you had in the last 30 days?

A lot.

There's something inside me, man.

This-this-this darkness.

-Eric-- -Eric? I mean, Eric.

He's just...

- He's gone, man. - He's totally gone.

Eric.

What you're describing is addiction.

-No. -Sex addiction.

-Which is a disease. And it's very real. -No. No, man. No.

And the good news is, because it's a disease, it's treatable.

There are solutions. And what you're doing right--

What you're doing right now, talking about it,

is by far the hardest part.

I saw you guys out there. You and her.

I mean, what you guys have is real.

Anybody can see that.

But me and Lisa, it's just all a-a-a facade, man.

- It's all a game. - Just this whole thing, everything is not real.

It's all a-a game. It's all fake. I... I gotta go.

-No. Come here. -Doc, please. I gotta go. I feel trapped.

You're having a panic attack.

I'd like to give you something for the anxiety.

-I don't wanna die here, man. -You're not gonna die.

I wanna give you something for the anxiety, but I need your consent.

Is that okay with you?

Yes? Okay.

I'd like to give you some lorazepam. Just take a seat.

First thing I want you to do is just breathe. Just see if you can breathe.

- Come right here. - Just listen to my voice.

-Try to breathe. Try to breathe. -Okay.

-Now, lean back. -Okay.

-Eric. -Yeah?

I have seen bad things. Real bad things.

And this is not one of them.

Okay.

Nobody bleeds, nobody dies.

You're gonna be okay.

- Okay. - Nobody dies. It's all good.

Nobody dies. Nobody dies.

Nobody dies. Nobody dies. Nobody dies.

Let's start with what we know.

First, the best man presents with symptoms of ringworm.

Which is spread by close, sustained skin-to-skin contact.

Which he probably gave to every bridesmaid and sexual partner

he's had in the past two to three weeks.

Then the groom presents with the same symptoms.

Sleeping with his best man.

Or with someone who slept with the best man.

Or they both independently contracted the same very rare strain of ringworm.

Right. In this case, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck it's probably--

A duck having a gay affair with his best man.

We need to disclose to the bride, immediately.

We can't do that. HIPAA protects his right to privacy.

We have to give him the option to disclose.

He's not in any condition to.

Not tonight, but he will be.

So for now, we say nothing.

We don't tell anything to anyone.

Tomorrow morning I'll have a talk with him and remind him of his responsibilities.

If he refuses?

- Then I'll tell him myself. - Tristan.

Before the wedding.

- Okay. Thank you. - Okay. That's fair. That's responsible.

It appears that fate has made this particular decision for us.

I can't believe this is happening.

The wedding is in 18 hours and this thing just appeared.

We think it's probably just stress, you know, nerves and things, right?

-It's not that bad, right? -I think that might be a fungal rash.

-No! Mom! -Hush.

I need to do more investigation. In the meantime we can put a cream on

-to bring down the inflammation. -Yes. Good. Yeah. No, that's good.

Slather it on me. I need this thing gone. Gone.

I also have it on my back and my inner thigh.

Good Lord.

Thank you.

Okay.

You know...

...if you're having reservations, it's not too late.

What are you talking about? - Well, reactions this intense

the night before a wedding,

it might be a sign that perhaps this isn't what you want.

I was married once, and walking down the aisle,

I had this gut feeling, and I ignored it.

And it turns out that my body knew something that my mind didn't,

-and I wish that I had listened. -Hmm.

It hurts, doesn't it?

The lotion? Yeah, it can sting a little.

No. No, I mean it must really hurt

watching another woman succeed where you failed.

Anyway, um, I can handle this. I got this from here.

I know you guys have a lot going on, and I don't wanna keep you,

so have a good night.

You know what? You're right.

You and Eric are a perfect match.

Good luck tomorrow.

Aw. That is so sweet, Lisa.

Thank y'all for taking such good care of my baby girl.

Oh. And look...

My Riviera tan, Doc.

Code Alpha. Code Alpha.

All crews to alpha stations.

Guests, please return to your cabins.

Code Alpha. Code Alpha.

All crews to alpha stations.

Guests, please return to your cabins.

He left this, sir.

All right, can somebody tell me

how a $150,000 man-overboard detection system

does not detect a man going overboard?

Unfortunately, sir, it's not a foolproof system.

It relies on camera feed to detect motion.

Our working theory is that his black tuxedo at night

didn't register as movement.

Well, that's a damn failed system, isn't it?

Yes, sir.

-How long ago did he jump? -Eight hours, 26 minutes, sir.

Rosie.

At full throttle, how quickly can you get us back in that vicinity?

I can shave off a few hours, but, sir, we were cruising at 24 knots last night.

He jumped from a height of 97 feet.

At that velocity, the water might as well be concrete.

It is our policy on The Odyssey to give our guests the absolute best.

And in difficult situations,

the best I can offer you is honesty.

Last night, Eric Colby went overboard

-from the upper leisure deck. -What?

We were unaware of this incident until this morning.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh. So, you...

Send someone out there, man. You go... go get him. Right?

Do you have someone out there going to look for him or--

We've dispatched several rescue boats,

and we've sent a distress signal to every floating vessel

for a thousand nautical miles.

Everything that can be done is being done. I assure you.

Okay, but he can swim, so he's alive.

So he's... he's down there--

He's alive, right?

Oh, God, no.

We are always prepared for any eventualities.

Now, at the request of Eric's family and loved ones,

we are returning to our home port...

while we allow those vehicles that are best equipped

to continue the search and recovery of Eric Colby.

Now, I know we're...

we're all far from our home cities and civilizations.

But here on The Odyssey ,

you are never alone.

We are one ship.

The medical team is standing by to offer you counseling.

I encourage you, lean on them.

Lean on me.

Lean on each other.

I think I was, like, eight or nine,

and it was the night before Easter.

I snuck down to my playroom because I heard voices.

I thought it was the Easter bunny.

It wasn't.

It was Dad

and...

his publicist.

On the daybed.

Naked.

The next morning, Mama was hosting this big thing

with everyone from church and the club.

And she had these white calla lilies everywhere

and it was perfect.

I told her what I saw, and...

her smile did not falter for a second.

She knew.

She just said, "Baby girl,

sometimes you gotta make things better to make things better."

So you were aware that Eric was being unfaithful?

Mm-hmm.

I just didn't know how to fix my relationship.

But I thought that if I could make things perfect,

for a day, just a day...

then maybe things would just fall into place.

Maybe it would... maybe it would be perfect.

And Bennet?

You know about that?

He and Eric were...

intimate?

-Eric was bi? -What?

No.

No.

Eric wasn't sleeping with Bennet.

I was.

We all went to Duke together, and...

I-I liked Bennet.

He was... He was funny.

Charming.

But Eric...

Eric was...

Eric was marriage material.

But I knew, you know? I knew that he...

He really struggled.

He really suffered with mental health.

But I just pushed right on through because...

...because I wanted to get married.

I wanted the dream.

-This is all my fault, isn't it? -No.

We all go through relationship troubles, one way or the other.

But in the case of suicide, there are just so many other variables.

Preexisting emotional trauma.

-There are genetic factors at play. -No. Genetic?

That's the answer? Genetic? No.

No. I don't understand.

I need to understand.

Hi, Mom.

Baby girl.

I've been in the bridge all morning, waiting for news.

Call came in from the Mexican coast guard.

Body washed up somewhere south of Acapulco.

- No. - They think it's him.

I want you to go up to my room and get under the covers.

Okay.

I just have two quick words for these doctors.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I know I've been an evil sea witch all week, and...

y'all didn't deserve that.

I just love that girl so much.

He was a troubled boy. I knew that. I...

I was concerned about that,

but Lisa wanted this wedding here on this ship,

so I... I just pretended my fears away.

That was wrong.

I should've done something.

I should've-- I should've stepped in and said, "Something is wrong here,

and we need to discuss it, deal with it."

We needed to help this boy!

But I didn't, and...

and now it's too late and I'll never forgive myself.

Oh.

Thank you.

-Good evening. -It's 1:30 in the morning.

-What do you want? -I can't sleep.

Fancy a little kitchen raid?

-Don't mind if I do. -Oh.

Hmm.

Oh!

- Really? - What?

-Ugh. -She said she was gonna throw it out.

-I heard her. I'm sorry. -Really disrespectful.

-Tristan! -It's really good.

What if this was your wedding?

-Well, that would be awful. -Uh-huh.

I mean, even worse if they were to do this...

What is going on here?

She started it.

The only excuse for conduct this unprofessional

would be if you paired it with a nice bottle of champagne.

Oh.

I'm glad I found you both here 'cause you're actually not off the clock yet.

I have one more piece of business.

If there is any silver lining to be found from this week's tragedies

it's that it gives us a chance to take stock

of life and what's important to us.

So, inspired by our very own Avery Morgan...

-Hmm? -...I have an assignment: bucket lists.

I want each of you to give me five life goals,

and then I wanna make a pact

right here, tonight, that we're all gonna help each other achieve them.

Mmm.

-I'm game. -Okay, me too.

Excellent.

Ah, ah, ah. Wait, Dr. Odyssey.

I have the perfect place for this. Come.

Okay, bucket item list number one...

Bucket list item number one.

I'm drunk. Wow.

Learn how to kitesurf.

Number two: Break a world record.

-For kitesurfing? -No, for anything.

You could do "most spoons hung on your face."

-What? -That's a real one.

Three: I want a dog.

You know, and a house on the beach with enough room for him to run in

and where I can surf every day.

Four...

I wanna fall in love.

-You know? -Hmm.

Like, a forever in love.

Yeah. Get married.

-With six little Tristans running around? -Ah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Well, five.

Okay, before the dog, before the marriage, before the kids...

- ...have a three-way. - Hmm.

You've never had a three-way? You literally have a girl at every port.

What... They're really difficult to organize.

People... people get drunk. They pass out. They get cold feet. I don't know.

-Tristan. -Hmm?

-Thank you. That was very well-shared. -Thanks, Doc.

-Miss Morgan. -Hmm?

Your turn.

Okay. But I'm cold. Can we walk?

Yes, of course.

- Snacks. - Snacks.

- Well, you already know my first one.

To see the world. Which I have.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Second... ...I wanna be a doctor.

Well, you're already on your way to that one.

Thank you, both.

Seriously.

- Snacks. - And third:

Pfft.

I want...

-to know myself. -To know yourself?

-Mm-hmm. -Hmm. All right, I'll accept that.

- Next... - Uh-huh.

And... Okay.

No making fun of me.

I want to perform.

- Perform? - Yeah.

I used to go to theater camp as a kid and do plays and musicals,

and it was freeing and fun.

And then one day, around puberty,

it was suddenly terrifying and not so fun, so I stopped.

But I don't know. I think...

I think underneath the fear,

there's joy.

And I wanna try it again.

Be bold.

At least once.

I like that one. Okay, what's the last one?

Was that not five?

- No. No, it was not. - Oh. Um...

I guess I'll steal Tristan's.

Threesome, baby!

- Threesome. - Let's go.

I am almost out.

Me too. To the Pelican Deck!

Oh! What?

This is your room?

- They gave you a suite? - Come on!

Is this a sofa? I mean, do you even use this?

Of course I do. It's where I sit down to put on my socks.

A sofa to put socks on. That is going on my bucket list.

Kitesurfing can do one.

Oh. Dr. Odyssey, I believe it is your turn. Go.

Right. Yes.

Bucket item number one...

...I wanted to see the world, or at least a new side of it.

And here I am. Voilà.

And...

- Thank you. - Item number two... Most welcome.

Hmm. I would like to fall in love and have kids.

Teach them to be self-reliant.

We're so dependent upon technology and convenience these days.

I want to teach them to rely on themselves.

Oh.

Don't mind if I do.

That's a good one.

All right, two more.

I would like for my life to have meaning.

It's so quick, you know? It's just like a little pebble dropped into a pond

and then... ...gone forever.

But just like a pebble, there are ripples, and I want my ripples to mean something.

God, you guys are both so boring... Sorry, grown-up.

All right, it's fair.

But last one. Please, come up with something fun.

I can't think of anything.

- Yes, you can! Come on. You've got one. - Okay. Hold on, hold on.

- Okay. - I'm sorry!

-I'll get back. Let me think about it. -Oh. You're stalling!

-I'm sorry. No, no. -This is a safe place.

Dr. Odyssey, you-you can tell us if it's a threesome.

Actually, that particular box has been checked.

-Oh. What? -Oh.

Out with it, every detail.

I'm a little insulted that you're both so surprised.

-I was kind of a hot ticket in college. -Yeah, good one.

I mean, I wasn't enough of a hot ticket 'cause ultimately,

they were way more interested in each other than they were in me.

I was more of an audience member than I was a participant.

Oh. Two girls?

A girl and a guy?

Sadly, the rest of the details will have to remain a mystery.

I made a pact. I am sworn to secrecy.

And I am very good friends with both of them to this day.

Yeah, that tracks.

So the final... the final bucket list item:

Have a good threesome.

Okay, fine.

I'll give up learning French for that. Have a good threesome.

- Hear, hear. - Cheers.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

I mean, I'm game.

Yeah. Right, Avery.

What?

It's on all our...

lists.