Original subtitles

[gentle piano score]

[score continues [distant traffic sounds fade up]

[car passing in distance]

[dog barking in distance]

[score fades out slowly]

[dog barking in distance]

[unzipping]

[footsteps thump on wooden stairs]

[electrical appliance buzzing]

[hinge squeaks]

[car horn honking in distance]

[coffee percolating quietly]

[object clatters to counter]

[coffee pouring]

[cars honking in distance]

[utensil clinking]

[toaster pops]

[plate clatters to table]

[bang, clattering]

[Friend] Morning.

Morning.

How'd you sleep? [clattering]

[clattering]

Well.

I got stuck in a vortex of music making last night,

so, um, I got four hours.

Dude, you gotta stop doing that. It's really bad for your health.

- How'd you sleep? - It was fine.

[crunching]

Fine.

Come on.

Baloney.

[slurps]

I can tell you fucking smothered that.

You're judging my emotional state by my jam volume?

You're really fine?

Um...

No, I'm not fine. Like, come on, I'm going home for my dad's birthday.

I haven't gone back in, it's probably been close to four years.

- Oh, geez. - I know.

Oh.

Bold. That's a bold move.

Is it?

Yeah, it is.

I mean, you're gonna walk in there, it's gonna be pretty provocative.

I don't, it's like, why do they...

I, I don't know why they even want me to go.

It's... [scoffs]

I know I'm just nothing but a fucking disappointment.

So it's, I don't...

[sighs] I'm just a disappointment to them.

You know.

[mug thuds onto table]

Remember you can just turn around and get on the train and come back here.

Yeah.

Look, fuck it. Just stay.

We'll watch movies this weekend.

[expels air through nose] That sounds nice.

I have to.

What's frustrating for me is like...

Cool, they accept...

This. Um...

But do they? Like, I don't know what they actually think.

I don't know what they actually say to their friends.

And, if anything, they use it against me

like they deserve some gold star because...

they accept my existence.

- Right, because they're so progressive. - Right.

- (whispering) Oh, fuck. - And, um...

[police siren in distance]

So, it's as if I, like...

owe them so much or something. I don't know.

Well, what's the worst that can happen?

I don't know.

I don't, I don't really want to...

[long sigh]

[footsteps coming down stairs]

[door rattles] [hinges creak]

Okay.

Be safe. You know how I worry.

(Kid voice) Thanks, Mom.

You want a power bar? It's vegan.

Yeah. Thank you.

[traffic passing in distance]

[house door closes]

[fluttering]

[louder traffic sounds]

[pedestrian crossing signal chirps]

[indistinct echoing conversations]

[deep rumbling]

[train wheels squealing]

[low rumbling]

[Train announcement] Hi, everyone. On behalf of Via Rail Canada

we welcome you aboard. I'll be your service manager today.

If you have any questions or concerns, I'll be located in car three.

This is train number 42.

Going to Montréal with stops at Oshawa, Coburg, Belleville, Kingston.

[announcement repeated in French]

[French announcement continues]

[indistinct conversations]

[high-pitched whine]

[gentle piano score]

Katherine.

Hello.

[both laugh]

Oh, my God.

[both chuckle softly] It's so nice to see you.

[both laugh]

Huh. How long has it been since high school? Like...

Almost 20 years. I mean...

Yeah.

- You're going to Cobourg? - Yeah.

- Why? - I... I live there.

- You live there? Wow! - Yeah.

Yeah, um, I moved back about five years ago.

- How... How's that been? [laughs] - Good.

- Do you like it? Are you good? - Yeah, it's good, it's good.

- Are you happy? - Yeah.

What-what about you? Are you living in Cobourg?

Uh, no, I'm in, uh, Toronto in, yeah, Kensington Market.

- Oh. - Yeah.

- I love that area, though. - Yeah. Yeah.

Certain changes in my life. [laughs]

- You look really good. You look great. - Oh, thanks.

Yeah, you do.

- You look really amazing. Yeah. - Thank you.

- [chuckles] - How's your family.

- They're good. They're good, yeah. - Yeah?

Everyone basically the same, you know...

And, uh...

I got married. I mean, a long time ago. I met, remember...

- Uh, remember Daniel? - Yeah.

- I married Daniel and, uh... - Oh.

Wow. That's...

- Amazing. - We have two kids.

Wow. [Katherine sighs]

- Great. How old? - They're, um, five and 12.

I have pictures. I'm...

- Oh, my... - Yeah. They're very sweet.

They are so cute.

Oh, thanks. I think so too.

That's my life, basically. Really. You know,

I work at a café, which is nice, too, to get out of the house and...

Oh, God. [laughs] I cannot believe...

- I know. I can't... - I can't believe, um...

I, I've like not gone home in, like, over...

- Almost five years, but, um, yeah. - Wow.

It's my dad's birthday, so I...

Yeah, I'm back. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be...

I think it'll be... Yeah, it'll be nice, and...

Tell him I said happy birthday. If he remembers me.

Of course. What do you mean? Of course they do.

- They always loved you, you know. - Oh.

Yeah, it'll be nice. My-my siblings will be there.

- Oh. - Yeah. Yeah.

How are they? How's Kate?

I mean, fine. Yeah, she's good. Uh, they all...

Um, I, I haven't really been, you know.

I've been away and a little, you know, disconnected.

- Needed some space, you know. - What?

Needed some, I needed some space from Cobourg, so, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I'm always, like, going by places, you know, like...

Where we always used to hang out. I'm always...

thinking about you. Remembering.

(chuckling) Huh.

[tender piano score]

I've thought about you a lot, to be honest.

A lot.

- I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying. - Don't apologize.

I think I'm just going-going home. Oh my God.

And there's already, like, a lot of... feelings so...

- You don't have to apologize. - Oh. Thanks.

Your attention, please.

We will be arriving at our next station stop,

Cobourg Station in a few minutes.

[announcement repeated in French]

Um, yeah, I have to, like...

Daniel's gonna be picking me up and, um...

Yeah, we gotta, we gotta go. [laughs]

I don't like to keep him waiting so I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna get ready but it was good to see you, and um...

- Say hi to... - Bye-bye.

You too.

[excited conversations]

[rumbling, clattering]

[murmurs]

[Station announcement] This is the final boarding call

for train number 42 bound for Montréal.

[repeated announcement in French]

[rumbling]

[train passenger bell sounds repeatedly]

[train wheels clattering]

Hey.

I was just gonna say I'm... I'm in town all weekend

if you wanted to grab a coffee or go for a walk or something.

I, um, I'm really busy, you know?

- Yeah, no, I... - Look, I can't-I can't, like, I can't...

I can't do this right now. I can't. It's-it's-it's just too much, you know?

You know, like, my life is completely different now.

I-I would go for a coffee and-and then what?

- Uh, sorry. I didn't... - Uh, I just...

I didn't mean to...

You understand, right? Like, I just...

Like, they're about to come and get me and I'm about to go, you know.

I just... Um...

But please tell your dad happy birthday and your family that I said...

I said hello and...

- Of course. - And Kate and everything and, um...

Here he is and, um...

Yeah, and good to see you.

[car engine rumbling]

Hey!

[rain pattering gently]

[dog barking in distance]

[door squeaks]

[door closing]

- I'm gonna make tea. - Okay.

[footsteps recede]

[fridge door closing] [dishes clattering]

Train ride was fine?

- Hm? - The train ride in?

- It was good. - Good.

So I took the boys to the park yesterday.

Oh, yeah?

Henry comes up to me and he goes, "I saw a moose."

I'm like, "You saw a moose?"

- Okay, take me to see the moose. - Uh-huh.

And we get over there and it's a little dog named Moose.

Oh, my... Aw, cute.

[husband chuckles]

[dishes clinking]

[water running, splashing]

[water off]

- Hey. - Hm. Got that.

But, yeah, we did okay.

[inhales] Do you know...

[mug clatters]

I, uh...

really missed you?

Hm.

I missed you, too.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

You seem like you have something on your mind.

No, I'm fine. I'm good.

Kat, I know you.

You can tell me what's wrong.

No, I really... I'm fine. I just...

I'm fine. I...

I just...

I saw...

I just saw a really old friend.

- Oh. - You saw him.

You know, when I was... When you picked me up.

I was standing with that guy, Sam?

And I hadn't seen him since high school, and, um...

It-it was just... [sighs]

Mm, really...

Intense. Very, um...

I don't know.

Um...

I knew him really well back then and...

Um... [Daniel slurping Tea]

I don't know. It just...

- It just affected me, you know? - Yeah.

[laugh] Well...

do you wanna talk about it?

No.

Um, I don't know if there's anything to say, really. It just...

I don't know.

I have to get... [sighs] I have to get ready soon.

- Okay. - For work.

- Okay. - So, lemme go, lemme go do that.

- Yeah. - Okay.

[train horn in distance]

[train horn continues] [birdsong]

[footsteps crunching on gravel]

[footsteps on road]

[gate squeaks]

[voices from inside house getting louder]

[woman laughing]

[indistinct chatter and laughter]

[doorbell ringing] [dog barking]

[Woman] Oh, my God. He's here.

- [Man] Hey? - Younger Woman: Is that Sam?

[Man] Yeah. [indistinct chatter]

[Younger Man] Oh, I got a singing telegram for dad.

[Younger Woman] Oh, it is.

- Oh, my gosh! - [Sam laughing]

- Hi. - You made it! Oh, I'm so happy.

I was so worried maybe you'd changed your mind.

- Oh, no. Of course not. - Good, good, good.

- Yeah. - Come in. Come in.

[indistinct talking] I'm good. How are you?

But you should've called. I could've come to the station

- and picked you up. - No! You know me. I like the walk.

But I know, I know, but it's freezing out there and I just thought

- Move my legs. - Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- Oh my God, this is so nice. Come in. - Okay.

Come on in. Come on in. Okay, everybody...

[happy reactions]

- Hey! - [laughing]

[all talking]

Oh, my God. So nice to see you. Thanks for coming.

- Happy birthday. - Can I get you a drink?

- Um. Sure, yeah. - [Mom] Here.

[Dad] All right. You want a wine, maybe?

Yeah, sure. Thank you. Hi.

- Oh, you came! - Hi.

- Hi. you made it. I'm so glad. - Mine, mine, mine, mine.

- Oh, my God, you smell so good. - [both laugh]

Thank you so much. Wow, goodness.

Hey, hey. Good to see you. I'm glad you came.

- Thanks. - Hey!

- Hey! Uh, Steven... - [crosstalk]

- [Dad] A new addition to the house. - [Sam] So nice to meet you.

[Steven] I've heard so much about you from Kate. [laughs]

- Two years or so. - [Sam] Nice.

[Mom] Here, come-come, sit down. Sit down. Sit down.

Can't believe you haven't met. That's wild.

I know. Yeah. It's two years. Yeah.

- [Mom] Kate, let's do a whole family. - [Kate] Oh, like all together?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. - You're doing pictures now?

- Well, we might as well! - Should I put it on a timer?

- [crosstalk] - [Mom] Yeah. Yeah.

And then suddenly there's no pictures.

Here, honey, move, move. My parents are...

- [Mom] You kids get in and... - We all gonna squeeze?

- Well, you get in. - We should we all get in?

[photo conversation crosstalk]

[Mom] Oh, my gosh! Look at us all together.

We can all fit. My butt is bigger than it used to be.

- Oh! - Everybody smile.

Three, two, one. [woman laughing]

Okay. One more.

[all laughing]

- Hold on. - [camera shutter sound]

And one more.

Get one like this for social media.

[woman laughs]

- Big smile. - Gonna get in here real quick.

Yeah! Here we go!

See, here's how he ingratiates himself.

[photographer laughs] [crosstalk]

[Younger woman] Should we have presents?

[Mom] Yeah, great! Yes! Great. Great.

Well, and it's dad's birthday. He deserves his presents.

- Yeah. Yeah. - Oh, gifts?

Okay, they're off. They're amazing.

Oh, look, Sam got something too! Sweetie.

[crosstalk]

- [Mom] Start with Sam's first. - Dad] Sam, wanna...?

- Start with Sam's. - Mine first?

[Dad] Yeah, sure. Come on. Bring it over.

[Mom] They're just little things.

They're all just little things.

Okay. Yeah. There's a... There a card in there.

[Dad] This is fantastic.

All right. What is this?

Thank you, Sam. [Mom clears throat]

It's just something small. - [Mom] They're just little things.

- [Dad] Sam... - [Mom] Just little things.

[Dad] Okay, so, I know that...

it's a bit of a cliché that kids just get their dad's ties

but I actually need a new tie and this is beautiful

and it's gonna go with a shirt that we got last week, and...

Well, it did remind me of that suit that you always wore.

That's my favourite suit. That's exactly right.

- That is perfect! - [Mom] Oh, that is lovely!

- Thank you very much, Sam. - Lovely. That is a great gift.

[crosstalk]

- [Dad] How's it look? - [crosstalk]

- All right, who's next? - Um, open the-the big blue one...

- This one? - That's from... Yeah, that's from us.

- Should I read this out loud? - Uh, you can if you want to. Yeah.

Dear Papa, happy birthday.

Hope you have a wonderful rest of the day and I love you so much. Stay hydrated.

Stay hydrated? [Sister laughing]

What the hell? Love, Megs. All right, well here you go. Cheers.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

[Dad] And then from Paul. Now you really are my old man... in-law.

Bit of a double entendre there. My old man's an old man. Not yet but soon.

- [Mom] Oh. - [Dad] Ah, okay.

- Paul, uh, this is, uh... - Holy shit. That's super nice.

That's, uh...

- What is it? - This is a very, very...

very nice watch. It's almost too nice to wear. It's, uh...

It's just a small token of my appreciation, Jim.

- Paul. Paul, Paul. This is... - What?

- This is... It's a watch. It's a very... - [Mom] Oh, wow!

It's fine. It's just a watch. It's just a watch.

It's... It's, it's... it is more than just a watch, please.

Thank you. Thank you.

It's nothing. It's not, it's not...

Thank you very much. That's, uh, lovely.

- [Mom] He knew you needed a new watch. - Well, I needed a new watch.

Well, we've had a good year. It's not a big deal, so...

- [Mom] ...the casserole. - Oh, let me help.

- What can I do? What can I help with? - Um, you know what?

- You want me to finish these? - You can finish cutting up the mushrooms

and I'm gonna do the potatoes and...

Boy, this is really special.

How are you doing, Mom? How've you been feeling?

Oh, same old, same old. But, yeah.

You know, it's been a good year for us.

So, you know, I did wanna say that if you need anything...

I-I don't know what your, you know, how-how, you know, what your kind of...

- Yeah. - You know, salary range is

or what your, you know, but I want you to know

that you can come to dad and I for, you know, anything if you need it.

I'm-I'm really okay.

- Okay. But I just wanted you to know. - Mom. Mom!

- Sure. - Please, don't...

- No, no. - I don't wanna... I don't...

No, no, and I didn't mean it... I just meant it as, you know...

I know how you mean. I know, I know.

If it's something that could help.

- Yeah, okay. Yes. - That was all. That was all I was saying.

[chopping]

So, how's-how's-how's everything going in the city? How are you liking it?

Um, I'm really liking it, actually.

- Really? - Yeah. Yeah. I love this, um...

[sputters] I told you, this room I'm renting.

- Yeah, yeah. Yeah. - Um, I'm really liking that.

Living in a room? Like, it's okay?

Well, no, I get to [laughs]. I mean, she's letting... she's my friend.

I live in the house, but, I mean, I'm renting it.

- You get to use the kitchen... - Yes. Yeah.

With a little hot plate in your room or anything like that?

No. [laughs] - Nope. Don't have one of those.

- Good. - Um, so that's been really good.

I really do like work. I'm like learning a lot, you know?

It's still new. Um...

I lo... I really love the people I work with and...

Are you meet... Are you meeting people?

Do you meet people in the city and...

- Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. - Yeah?

Especially other queer and trans people. So that's been really,

Yeah.

So it... It feels happy? Do you feel happy at work and...

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I feel like in...

in so many ways I am for the, you know, for the first time

and just waking up and feeling like you're a person that can function.

So that's how I'm feeling. And it feels really good.

Honey, that is so good.

I just wanna make sure that you're finding real happiness.

Boy...

[distant conversations]

[Mom sighs]

- No, Mom, you don't have to worry, okay? - Okay. Okay.

You worry too much. It's bad for your health.

- I know. - Just...

Show them your trust, not your anxiety. [laughs]

Yeah, let's breathe together. [both laugh]

[mom sniffles]

Okay. Okay. I'm gonna do the asparagus.

- Okay. Is there anything else? - There is nothing. I'm good.

- Hey. - Hi.

Hey, what's going on? Everything all right in here?

- Yeah. - Yeah. Good. Really good.

- Need any help? - No, no. Fine. I'm good.

- Yeah? - Just having a little, you know, chat.

- Okay. Yeah. Anything... - Did you find your wine?

No, we don't know where it is. I thought it was in the car but it's not.

I-I'm sure it was just in the pantry.

Yeah, well, if you could find it, that'd be great.

Okay. Okay. Let me look where that wine has gone.

[sighs]

Uh, so...

How you doing?

Pretty good. How are you doing?

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Just feels...

I mean, you know.

No, I don't. What do you mean?

You don't feel, like, a...

unsettled thing?

Like, just, what do you... Like, with everybody or with...?

Yeah.

I think it's our family [laughs] being our family.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I guess.

Not that you'd really know.

You sort of took off. You've been gone.

Yeah, I've been living in Toronto and...

haven't been back. I mean, I've seen, I don't know.

I also don't know why it's really any of your business.

Look, I don't wanna be a...

- I barely know you. - Yeah. I'm not trying to...

It's just there's a lot of unspoken things

and it's not my style to just kind of, like...

- Oh, it's not, is it? [scoffs] - Yeah.

You're just really radically honest and vulnerable all the time?

Well, I can just feel like people are being polite and it's uncomfortable.

What do you mean?

Come on, I'm obviously not your favourite here.

[laughs]

So, I don't know why you even give a fuck.

Well...

because I love Meg.

Do you? [chuckles]

- Yeah, I do. - Yeah. I don't know man.

And 'cuz when you love people you show up for them.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like you're showing up for her, actually.

What the fuck does that mean?

[Mom] Is this it? Is it this one?

- That's the one! Oh, shit. - Good. Why don't you just open that up?

Yeah, all right, I will.

[Mom] Great. You guys having a little catch up?

- [both guys] Yeah. - Yeah? Good, good.

- And Paul? - Yeah?

- The watch was too much. - Please.

It was too much! I'm not kidding. It was very nice. A lovely gesture.

- Too much. Too much. - All right. I won't-I won't-I won't

I won't do anything for the next three birthdays.

- Okay, good. Okay. - Okay. Deal. Okay.

Except for mine. Mine's coming up.

Well, yes. Yeah. Except for Sam's.

- I want a Rolex. - Exactly. Get her a nice big watch.

Him.

- Her, him. Oh... - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. It's okay.

- No. Mom, stop! - Ahh!

No! See, this is... You just got... We can just...

I'm only saying it to be helpful. [mom sniffles]

- [sighs] Yes, yes, yes. - Oh, my God.

I just... I'm just upset at myself because I work so hard and it's...

I know you work so hard. It's okay. It's okay.

- Okay. Okay. Thank you for... - It's okay. It's all right.

- Thank you. Thank you. - It's okay.

Oh, my gosh.

Are you okay?

I just missed you, that's all. I just miss you.

And when I see you here, it just makes me miss you more.

[crunchy chewing]

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

- Hey. - Hey.

- What are you doing? - Hanging out in our old digs.

Yeah. What the... What do they even use this for?

It's, um...

I don't know who sleeps there. Probably Dad.

- How's it going? - Oh, it's going all right. Yeah.

You can be real with me.

I'd actually prefer that.

I just wanna understand.

A little more... than I do.

That's all. Okay?

Yeah, I... [rattling as Sister sits]

I-I just...

Like, I've just needed... I've needed some space. Like, it's not...

- Okay. - Like, I know that probably seems...

- really... - Space from the family?

Selfish. Space from the family. I mean, space from like...

just... Away from this town, you know?

Hm.

Are you happy? Like, does that space make you happy?

- Yeah. - Yeah. It's enough?

- Yeah. - Being...

where you are, what-what you're doing.

- I don't know what you mean. - I mean, like your job.

- Mom's was saying that you... I... - What is enough?

- I don't know. - Is everything enough for you?

- Yeah, I have enough. I have enough. - Oh, yeah? Okay.

I have my kids and I have a great partner.

You know, and I've built this life that you had the opportunity to have.

And more.

You had that. You had all of this potential.

And I'm here with mom and dad and they worry about you.

All the time.

Well, I don't... A, nobody's asking you to do that.

- I'm not asking you to do that. - I know you're not asking...

I'm not asking people to not feel worried about me.

It makes me feel like a fucking child and so infantilized.

- We can't help it. You have no security. - I'm living my life.

You have no security.

You're living in a room in Toront... Like, I-I...

[slaps thighs]

[scoffs]

I guess I just feel like...

you weren't worrying about me when I was actually not okay.

So, here I am going, "I feel good.

I'm feeling passionate. I'm living my life. I'm..."

And when I was...

the most unwell, nobody fucking worried.

I suppose I wish that you had talked to me more.

I wish, um...

I was... we shared a fucking bedroom and I didn't know you.

I didn't actually know you.

Oh, bunny.

[soft sob] Bunny, don't cry.

But you gotta know that that's why it's been hard to come home.

Mm-hm.

It's hard to come...

home to a place where you just... [sobs]

Didn't feel seen and you're just really trying to feel seen.

Do you want a hug? I don't want to hug you if you don't want to be hugged.

[inhales] I don't want you to hug me just 'cause I'm crying.

I know you're upset at me and I don't...

Hey, I-I am gonna hug you because I love you.

I wish I could go back.

I do.

- [knocking on bedroom door] - Oh, look who's here.

- Oh, hey! It's okay. - I didn't mean to interrupt, uh...

- It's okay. - Sorry. Uh, everything okay?

Yeah, we're good. We're just catching up.

- Yeah. - Oh, I was just...

wondering where you were and [laughs]. You're up here and...

- This was our old room. - Okay. Very, very nice.

- Well, it looked a lot different. - Yeah, I was like...

- Um, yeah. - Very serious kids.

Do you believe they made us share a room in this giant house?

- This house is gigantic. - So dumb.

- But I heard, uh, you... - But we really connected in here, so...

[laughing]

- Okay, I am interrupting. - [Sister] That was a joke.

- What? - It was a joke.

We just talked about how...

we've lived in the same room and we didn't really know each other.

- So... [laughs] - Okay.

Oka... Oh, shit!

- [screech] - [Guy] Okay, I will...

- [Sam] Didn't break. - Didn't break. Okay, I'll be right back.

- I'm gonna clean it up and, uh... - No! No, we'll get it.

It's fine. It's fine.

He seems so sweet.

Amazing.

Uh, not the first impression I wanted to make...

Oh, please! - ...with the brother, but there we go.

[groans; sniffs]

- Thank you. Thanks babe. - It's no problem. No problem.

Um, it is really nice to meet you and...

erase this from your... [laugh]... memory.

No, I like it. This is really memorable.

So, yeah. Good story, right?

- More wine. - Thank you.

And, hey, super excited.

- Yeah, you too, man. - [slapping back]

Ah!

[footsteps recede]

- Are you seeing anybody? - Nah.

- Do you want to? - Not really.

- No? - No. I'm liking being single. It's fun.

I thought I was gonna be single after I divorced and then I met that guy.

- It's always, like... - Nothing came at the right time.

No, I was like, "I'm gonna do one night stands.

"It's gonna be awesome." He's, like, the second date I went on.

- [Sam laughs] - Killed that dream of mine.

I feel like that's how it always happens, right?

Is it? So you just gotta not want it?

- Yeah. Maybe that's the trick. - Oh, okay.

No, I just like being really slutty right now. It's fun.

- Really? - Yeah. It's really fun.

- That's so fun. - Yeah, it's really fun.

Can I ask you: Do you have sex with men or women? Or both?

- Both. - You do? At the same time?

[laughs] No, but I would like to try that.

- Yeah! - Yeah.

Are you and Steven monogamous or...?

- We talk about it. - Yeah.

- But it's the communication that's good. - Mm.

Why? You want a piece of that? [both laughing]

Oh, my God. I missed you.

[Sister chuckles]

[indistinct laughing and chatter]

[tender score]

[distant sparse traffic]

[birdsong]

[seagulls cawing in distance]

Sam!

Sam!

Shall we walk?

Yeah.

[knocking]

Oh, hey.

- Hey. - Hey, are you okay?

Oh, yeah. Yep.

I was just, um... [sniffs]

- Mom, you're... - Yeah. No, I'm...

- You're crying. - No. I'm not. I was just...

I'm just tired. Just having a...

Yeah. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.

I just... [sniffles]

I just still think of you as my little girl.

And I keep calling you "her."

Hm.

I know it's...

[sighs]

It's... Oh. It just gets me every time. I just can't...

[emotional inhale]

- It's... - It's okay, Mom.

I just want you to be happy.

I just want you to be happy and then I go and do that all the time

and I think of all people... Your mother.

- And I just... - Mom.

I'll look at you and... [emotional inhale]

I feel very supported by you, okay?

Okay.

I mean, you've known me for a little while.

[both laugh]

- I met you in the hospital. - Exactly. We met in the hospital.

Yeah, as you were being born.

[sniffles]

I look at you starting your life like this and I...

(whispered) I think how brave you are.

How goddamn brave you are.

My brave boy. You're my brave boy.

[sniffles]

And I'm so proud of you living who you really are.

They say your kids will teach you about life and mine has.

I'm a lucky mother.

I'm lucky too, Mom.

I'm really lucky, too.

[sniffles] Oh, my gosh.

[sighs] Whoa.

[laughs]

[sighs]

Bye-bye.

[indistinct chatter]

[knocks on door]

- Hi, Dad. - Hey, buddy. Come on in.

I am just answering an email wishing me a happy birthday,

- so I'm saying... - [keyboard clacking]

Thank you very much.

- [hits key hard] - How you feeling?

I feel old.

How are you feeling?

I guess, I don't know. Something just feels, uh...

- Have a seat. - Like a...

Close the door.

[hinges creak] [door closes]

- What is it? What's up? - I don't know. I guess since...

Ah...

Yeah, I wasn't... I just guess I wasn't so sure.

Ugh.

You're always welcome here, buddy.

- How's work? - Work's good.

- Yeah? - Yeah. I really like it.

- Oh, good. - Yeah.

It's really fun, cool people and...

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- You seeing anybody? - No, I'm not, but I don't really want to.

- No? Not right now? - Yeah.

Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough.

[soft exhale]

It's a very odd feeling

when you get to be my age.

You see your kids in front of you.

And they're all grown up. They've all launched, they've all gone.

And...

I was really worried that you weren't gonna launch.

I guess that's what you're feeling. I don't know.

You were so sad.

And the last thing a parent wants is...

for their kid to be sad.

I mean, you'll figure... You'll-you'll have a family someday

and you'll...

It's the worst feeling in the world.

And you know there's nothing you can do about it.

And you're just... You're just watching your kid

every single day get sadder and sadder and sadder.

And it keeps stopping them and making them...

do nothing.

I thought...

that you maybe always resented me for that.

For the times when...

I know that I didn't...

live up to certain expectations.

It was just that I felt helpless.

When you left home...

Then I was really scared.

'Cause at least when you were here,

I could have my eye on you.

You know, it's like, at least... he's depressed, but he's here at home.

If he does something,

I can get him to the hospital.

I can call the cops. I can pick him up.

I can put him in a bathtub. I can do something.

I can stick my fingers down his throat. I don't know!

And then you left.

And... I don't resent that.

I get it.

But I have never been more scared in my life.

And when you finally called

and you sounded so happy,

it was probably one of the happiest moments of my life.

And the more you talked and the more you assured me, you said, "I'm okay."

I'm okay and I've got a place and I've got a job

"and I met some people."

And then you got to the big news

and you said, "And I'm going through this."

And I didn't even hear it at the time.

And I know that's hard to believe, maybe. I don't know.

But, like I said, you're gonna have kids one day of your own

and you're gonna go through all of the same fucking horseshit that I did.

And the most you can hope for

is that all your kids

come out the other end like you did.

Hey, come here. Come here.

Come here. I'm proud of you.

I'm proud of you. So proud of you.

[sigh]

[blowing wind]

It's a beautiful day at the beach.

Let's just go for a nice swim. [both laugh]

- Freezing cold water. - Yeah.

What is it like... what's it called? Like polar? When people get in the water?

Oh, polar dip. Polar, polar swim. Uh, yeah. No thanks.

- Let's do that. - No thanks.

- Nah. - I wish I was cool to do a polar dip.

- You wish what? - I wish I was cooler. Cool enough.

- Cool enough? - Pardon the pun. But, um...

- You're still cool enough to do that. - Ah, no!

- No? - No, I'm a bit of a wimp, actually.

- Really? I would do it. - Yeah. I try-I try and act like I'm not

but secretly... Secretly I am.

- Secretly you're scared? - Yeah.

Yeah. [laugh]

[Sam sniffles]

[chuckles]

I really like your red hat. It's nice.

Thank you. Yeah. It's kind of my favourite hat.

- Yeah, is it your trademark? - It's my trademark right now.

- What, right now? - Sometimes I'll move on to another hat

that becomes the new look. Then onto another hat.

So, if I'm in Toronto, I shouldn't...

It may-it may not be reliable if I'm looking for a cute red hat?

Yeah, you might not even recognize me.

[seagulls cawing]

[crunching footsteps]

You look so good. You really do.

You look just so... Like, you just look the same.

Just more you! I love it.

- Thanks. Yeah. That's how I feel. - Yeah?

It's cool to be, like, "Oh, yeah,"

there's-there's that guy. I was wondering where he was.

Aw, I love that. [laugh]

- I'm so happy for you. - Thanks.

- I'm happy for you, too. - Thank you.

Yeah.

When you think about us back then...

Well, what was it?

What was it for you?

I was in love with you.

I...

I figured that was obvious.

What was it for you?

You were my best friend and, yeah, the person I felt at home with

and safe with and I loved you so much.

And I felt... [sniffles]

Confused sometimes.

We didn't have that many, uh,

- references at the time. - No. [sniffles]

Yeah.

I feel like I felt embarrassed a lot 'cause I was the little queer one.

You know?

You were the only person I felt myself around.

Whatever that meant at the time, but

I don't know what I would've done without you.

I'm glad that I could be that for you.

[chuckles] I still get that same feeling I had in high school

when I look at you.

You do?

Yeah.

[Kat chuckles]

[Laugh]

Used to be so, like...

baffled by it.

Mm.

Me, too.

It's so nice to...

be close to you again.

And I always really felt like...

where I could be myself.

I'm always gonna love you no matter what.

[kiss sound]

Oh.

Hey, if we're gonna be brothers, we gotta fucking talk, right?

- Sure. - Is that what we'd be?

- Brothers-in-law. - I'm just... Is that what I call you too?

- Brother-in-law? - Yeah, why would it be?

Next summer. I don't know, I don't know.

Don't know why it would be different but yeah.

Can I still call you Sammy?

- Is that a thing? - Um...

I'd prefer if you didn't.

Aw. I can't call you Sammy?

Did you... Didn't you just ask me a question?

And I responded to you.

Well, I'm not trying... I'm just saying I don't know all the... all the rules,

all the fancy whatever.

[coughs]

Sorry. The rules?

- What? - I don't know. What do you mean?

Like what rules? What do you...

Ha... The-the-the, you know.

How all the things to say, all the whatever.

- Well, working on it. - Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah but Meg gave me this whole list of, like,

here's what you say, here's what you don't say.

And I was just, like, all right, well, we could figure it out.

- What is that? - What is what?

Why are you, like, looking down at me like that?

It's just this is what you always have to do.

- What? - You have to...

You have to bring something up that you don't need to bring up.

Like why... What are you-what are you talking about? Rules. Like, I'm just...

I'm just saying... -...a fucking person. Just talk to me.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We can just talk.

I don't have to fucking obey whatever, you know?

- Look, you're going through a thing... - I'm going through a thing?

- Yeah. - Dude.

'Cause we can talk. We can talk. Whatever.

- Right? Isn't that the whole thing? - Why are you yelling?

What? [laughs] It's just like we're-we're...

What about me makes you so fucking angry?

I'm not angry. I'm just saying we can talk.

You seem really angry

and I don't understand why you can't just, like,

appreciate someone's, like, existence.

Like, why can't you just respect that? How-how is that hurting you?

This is getting all political. I'm just saying we can talk.

- Isn't that the whole thing? - [Sister] Hey. Hey!

- What? No. Nothing. - Hi. What are you...

Hey. Hey. I'm sorry. It's just-just... it's just getting a little whatever.

I was saying we were talking and you were telling me...

You gave me the list of the things and whatever, at the website or whatever.

Yeah. It's... It's different when you lob them in

when we're in a group and we all have to pretend and laugh.

It's just different when you're, like, fucking...

Oh! I'm, I'm... You're pretending 'cause of me.

- Hey, hey, hey. - This is what we're avoiding.

- The shit I'm bringing up. - Hey!

- What are you doing? - What the... No, fuck this.

This is... this is bullshit. [chair scrapes on floor]

This is just so classic.

It's so classic. Like, you sit down...

You're clearly trying to fucking provoke something.

- You didn't mean to say that. - I'm trying.

You, obviously, you go, "Oh, I'm trying to know the rules."

Next thing you know, you're like, fuck them.

Which is basically you just saying, like, I'm not gonna register

or regard or respect your humanity on any fucking level, or who you are.

- That is not what I'm saying. - It is what you're saying!

It is what you're saying when you do that!

- It's exactly what you're fucking saying. - Oh, my fucking God!

And that's how it makes me fucking feel. And then I...

- we can figure this out as people. - [crosstalk]

- Okay, okay, okay. Okay. - Oh, my God!

- Just-just-just... - No, no. Forget it. It's okay. It's cool.

Just take a walk. Take a walk. Take a walk! Honey, take a walk, okay?

Just, no, Paul!

Why do I gotta be the one to shut up? Look, you're going through a thing.

- We all have to obey your fucking whole... - Paul! Paul! Paul!

- [Sam] Obey what? - Can you please?

- [Paul] Fine. Whatever. - Go fuck yourself.

- [Paul] I will. - That doesn't help. That doesn't help.

- Dude, what the fuck just happened? - Finally!

- That doesn't help. - Finally.

What the fuck just happened? He's an asshole and he's a prick.

[Sister] Hey, okay, don't say that to her.

Just please don't touch me!

[crosstalk]

So you're gonna come in and defend him? He just, like, fucking... Oh, my God.

- I'm protecting her. I-I just... Her. - Oh, great!

- Her. I know! I'm so... - Great! You're protecting her!

I just wanna understand what just happened.

He's just being a fucking transphobic asshole.

- Oh, fuck. - I can't get involved in it.

Dad was getting upset and I just wanted to settle things down a little bit.

- Okay, 'cause it's dad's birthday. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Steven] Hey, Paul's in there fucking himself.

[Sister sighs] What? [Steven laughs]

I just... I heard, so I'm just... trying to lighten things up. I'm sorry.

[laughs] Oh.

Sister (whispering): Fuck.

He's, uh...

He can be a lot. [inhales]

I-I...

I mean, I can't even really apologize. I don't... I don't.

I don't- I don't know what to say.

[sputters] I-I, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry.

- [Steven] Are you okay? - Okay. Dad's coming.

- [approaching footsteps] - Birthday! Oh, fuck!

- [Male] Birthday. Birthday. - Sister (laughing): Oh, my God.

I see this is a kitchen party now.

[Sister laughs]

Just, uh... [Paul sighs loudly]

Paul's got a few things to say.

Oh!

[silence]

Uh...

I didn't mean anything by it.

I didn't mean... I didn't...

This is not...

You did mean something by it.

And I don't think you just walked out of the room and...

had some sort of epiphany and a whole different perspective.

- [Paul] I'm saying... - On me and who I am, so, I just...

- I don't, you know. - [Sister] Paul?

I can make room for that. We all have different...

Whatever... thoughts. And I can make...

No, that's not what this is about!

- [Dad] Okay. - You're... You... Okay, sure.

You know what, you can have different thoughts,

but they're...

They're... [sputters] They're bigoted fucking thoughts.

- [Dad] Sam. - It's fine. Fine. I'm an asshole

but can we just have a... This is not about us.

This is your dad's birthday, you know?

Okay. That's fine. That's fine.

- Really? - Doesn't matter.

Yeah! Well, why don't we talk about that for a second?

[crosstalk]

Why do I gotta go? This is my question.

- Hey. - Because you're the one with the pr...

[Sam] I'm just sitting here existing and you can't seem to, like, handle it.

- I'm done. I'm done. No, I'm done. - You just have to ignore him.

I'm done. I'm leaving. Fuck this shit.

- [Mom] Oh, hey guys. Dinner's ready. - Mom!

What? What's going on?

What? Why are you going? What happened?

- Sweetheart? - Paul's being a fucking asshole.

- Oh, my God. Well, don't go. - No, I'm not staying for it. I'm not.

Listen, listen! Please, sweetheart, just for me, just for dad.

- Oh! - I know but you... just for a second.

What-what happened? What did he say?

- He was just being... Okay. - [sputters] Do I have to?

No, he's got to apologize. We can't...

- He's not gonna mean his apology. - We'll never be together.

- Are you kidding me? - Okay, he can go. You're not going.

You're not the one who has to leave.

Okay. Okay, then make him leave.

- Then he will leave. - Okay. Make him leave.

- Can we give him a chance? - He can leave.

- Can we give him a chance? - Okay. Let's go give him a chance.

Just to apologize.

What the hell happened here?

Paul, you need to apologize to Sam.

All right? You owe Sam an apology.

This is our home. This is my child.

You owe Sam an apology.

Miriam, I'm sorry.

Sam, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm fucking this up.

This is on me. I get it. I'm sorry. Okay?

All right. All right, everyone. I've made this lovely meal.

Girls, can you get the dishes from the kitchen, please?

We're gonna sit down. We're gonna be civilized...

and we're gonna have a nice meal for your father's birthday. Okay?

One meal.

That's all there was, Mom. Is that all there is?

No problem.

[plates clattering]

[Mom] Okay. - [Sister] Does anybody want white?

[Dad] Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[sigh]

Thanks, sweetheart.

[Mom] Can we just all hold hands for one minute?

I know this seems... But, for me, can we just for one minute,

just take each other's hands

[glasses clink]

(emotional) and just look around the table and think how grateful

we are to be a family.

There is nothing

more important than family.

[mom sniffles] [glasses clink]

Nothing is more important than this.

And having Sam here...

it just fills my heart with joy.

I am so grateful.

[Dad] Amen.

- So grateful. Yeah. - [Sister] Thank you.

- Yeah. - [Male] Thanks, Mom.

You know, family's not the most important thing.

- [Sister] Oh, Sam. - It's not!

And the fact that I should be expected to sit here

and to make you all fucking feel okay is so fucked up.

[Sister] Sam, you just gotta ignore it.

Oh, my God. No, I don't have to just ignore it, actually.

Clearly that's what you all fucking do.

- Sam! Goddammit. Sam! - What? Jesus Christ.

Just hold on! Just wait a second!

- I'm leaving. - Look, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry.

I understand. I had no idea that Paul was like that.

I thought he'd get his shit together but it really didn't happen.

- Come on, Sam! - Well, he is like that!

Or are you gonna ask him to leave the way he talked to me?

He is like that. The world is full of people like that.

Exactly! And why do I have to sit here and deal with it with my fucking family?

- You could rise above it. - Oh, fuck.

- No! Come on, Sam. - Rise above it.

Yeah, rising above it is fucking getting outta here.

I don't have to fucking stay here and put up with this.

And for you to expect me to is so fucked.

[birdsong]

[rapidly approaching footsteps]

- Sam, Sam... - Oh, my God! Please! I just want...

That was incredible. That was incredible.

You're-you're-you're-you're incredible and-and-and I'm-I'm so inspired by you.

I'm so glad you said that. You're so smart and-and...

I'm, I-I want to be like you. You know?

I, uh... Yeah.

- I'm really... happy to see you. - Well, we'll hang out, okay?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Thanks.

Yeah.

I love you.

I love you, too.

- I'll see you in the city. - Okay.

[dog barking in distance]

He's gone.

That kid was in...

so much pain before.

Your mom and I were convinced we were gonna just find him dead one day

in his room.

And what he has done

has made him happy again and it's made him want to live again.

And I don't know why that is so hard

for some people to understand

because it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone

but Sam.

- Jim... - That was Sam.

That was Sam. It's that fuckin' simple!

Today I thought I got my son back

and then I lost him.

Well, I can't... I can't accept this.

I'll be in my office.

- [mom clears throat] - Jim?

[geese honking]

Have to get back.

Yeah.

I guess I didn't...

Before I go, I have one more question for you.

[laughs]

Are you with anyone right now?

No.

I have to get back to work.

Please keep in touch.

Yeah, of course.

- Promise? - Yes. You promise?

- I do. - Okay.

Um... [Kat sniffles]

[tender score]

- Bye. - Bye.

[wheels squealing]

[swing squeaking]

[score fades out]

[cars whooshing by]

[door latch opening, hinges squeak]

[door closes]

[Kat] Hm.

Hey.

Hi.

Figured I could take the later train.

Uh, come, come, come sit with me?

[both laugh]

Ooh.

Huh.

I'll call you.

Um, this is Margaret. This is Sam.

Sam.

- It's nice to meet you. - You, too. You, too.

[Kat] See ya.

Hm.

[door closes]

Hm...

I'd love it if you came to Toronto with me.

I wish I could.

I'm sorry, I feel bad but I just can't stop looking at you.

This is hard for me.

I don't wanna hurt you either.

I'm just... I don't know what to do.

[Sam sighs]

I think that, um,

seeing you and feeling the way I do,

um, is making me

[sighs]

Think about a lot of things

in my life right now. Um...

When I think about, I don't know. I'm just...

I'm just...

[trembling inhale] I'm just so happy to see you.

But as much as I want to, I can't come to Toronto with you.

You understand?

[cries]

Yeah. Of course I understand.

- Well, we'll stay in touch, right? - Please.

- I would really love that. - Yeah. Okay.

I'm just really glad we got this time together.

Me too. I'm really glad.

Yeah.

So glad.

Hm.

I should probably...

make sure I get the train.

Yeah. Of course.

I'm glad you came by.

Thanks.

Okay.

[Sam laughs]

Hm.

Okay. - (voice breaking) I'll see you soon.

Okay.

[door opens, street ambiance gets louder]

[door closes]

[distant street ambiance]

[train rumbling loudly]

[warning bells clanging]

[atmospheric score]

[police siren in distance] [train wheels clacking]

[gentle piano joins score]

[score only]

[street ambiance returns]

[cat meows]

- Hm. - Hm.

Um...

I-I wanted to come and-and tell you something, which is...

[inhales]

Um...

Being with you again,

made me feel beautiful.

I want you.

I want you, too.

I just wanna touch you.

[kissing sounds]

[laughs gently]

[vocalizations]

- I'm sleeping? - I thought it was beautiful.

- [laughs] - Shit. What?

- I'm gonna go to sleep soon. - What's beautiful?

- Beautiful. It's a beautiful... - Beautiful. Okay, so...

- Beautiful. Sleeping. - This is sleep. Right.

- Beautiful. - Beautiful.

Aw. Good.

[no vocalizations]

Pointing.

Hm.

Me.

[whispering]

Yeah. Me.

Yeah.

Looks like a K.

And you'd go going, like...

I wish I was further along in my life.

I mean, I...

I live in a room in a friend's house. [laughs]

I come with two kids. [sniffles]

I mean, would you even, would you wanna meet them or...?

Of course.

Of course I wanna meet your kids.

I wanna know everything about you.

[inhales]

I'm so proud of you and how far you've come and...

I have no doubt that you're just gonna keep going so far.

Expanding and...

being more you.

[sobs]

You've come so far.

Thanks.

Thank you. [sniffles]

Well, I'm always...

I'm always here for you. I want you to know that.

I'm always loving you and cheering you on,

Knowing...

[swallows, sniffles]

That there's this love is...

it's a beautiful thing.

[sniffling]

[Kat sobs]

[train rumbling in distance]

[inaudible PA announcements]

[sobs]

[sobs]

[laughs]

[kiss sound]

Hm.

[kissing sounds]

[footsteps recede]

[sobs quietly]

[exhales]

[PA announcements]

[siren wailing] [loud city sounds]

[quiet ambiance]

[gentle score fades up slowly]

[siren wailing in distance]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[sniffing]

[pensive score]

[coffee pouring]

[closing credit score]