Original subtitles

'This programme contains very strong language from the outset

and throughout, and adult humour.'

Now then, fat head.

Mr O'Neill. Please, come in, sit down.

This is Abigail, she's a trainee GP. She's going to be observing today,

unless you have, erm... unless you have any objection.

No, no, I don't.

Anyway, the object of the exercise is that we behave exactly as normal,

so that Abigail gets a window on how the practice works.

So, Vincent, what can we do for you today...

Erm.... (SNIFFING)

It's me...

Bipolar. It is me bipolar, yes.

(SNIFFING)

Just worried about the amount of, er.... medicine I'm on...

(SNIFFING) Just no libido.

And the psychotherapy we've arranged with Fiona Frank, is that helping?

(SNIFFING)It's good stuff. Helping a lot.

Love, do you want a tissue?

I'm not here. You are! You're like Bob Fleming over there.

Are you sure you don't wanna a tissue? I'm fine.

Alright, Bob. Great, well, erm, the vital thing with bipolar

is we deal with the mental... (SNIFFING)..and the physical, er...

Yeah, sorry. Sorry, Chris, to cut you off there.

The real reason I'm here is cos I've got a chapped...

cock hole and I'm embarrassed. I don't feel I can talk about it

in front of a new person, so... Right, great, no problem.

Abigail... Thank you. Of course.

It's just I know Chris, you know. (SNIFFING)

Just, maybe blow your nose, as well.

Fucking hell. Give us that fucking vape.

Three hours I've been here with her sniffing like Cuddles the Monkey.

"I'm not here." I wish you weren't.

Blow your nose... We don't all want it.

What do you wanna talk about?

Betrayal.

Betrayal? Yeah.

Fire away.

♪ The best things in life are free...

Texts sent to my phone, right, after the night he's disappeared.

Texts blaming the fucking MacDonaghs for his disappearance.

The only fucking confirmation we've got

that Dylan got away that night is from bloody Manolito.

I saved him, released him from their boot and told him to run.

They were going to kill him, Vincent.

So, if the MacDonaghs have grabbed him, right,

and Manolito's fucking saved him and told him to go...

Know what I'm saying? Why the fuck would he do that?

How has Manolito got his phone?

Manolito's done something with Dylan?

If he has, he's capable of doing it to us.

This bloody phone in this locked drawer

tells us everything we need to know.

I'm telling you now, fucking hell, it's Manolito.

He's the one who's been sending the texts,

he's the one pretending to be Dylan. He got us believing

the MacDonaghs had something to do with it.

Again, what I'm saying is... Why the fuck would he do that?

Because he wants to be the hero, in't it? Why, though?

Manolito wants our weed, right. He knows we're the best.

He wants to get rid of the MacDonaghs. Divide and conquer.

So, if you think that Barry and Davey have got rid of Dylan,

then you won't work with them again and he's right. You haven't.

Sure enough, like, I mean, he's a ruthless fuck.

Carol's right, he's dangerous.

I'm telling you, that bloody phone, that'll tell us more about

Dylan's disappearance than the fucking MacDonaghs ever will.

How can we find out what happened to Dylan?

I dunno... we'll just have to act normal.

Act normal, and we'll somehow plot our revenge, won't we?

Revenge? W-W-What kind of revenge?

The pervy photos. Know what I mean? Pervy photos?

Have I... have I missed something? Mm. When we robbed the MacDonaghs,

we received some incriminating photos of Manolito.

Now Barry, Barry had them photos saved to the cloud, right,

so let's get copies of them, we put 'em in Manolito's house,

call the fucking police, and pin him, for exactly what it is.

But... then we have to tell the MacDonaghs.

Can we trust them?

Well, what fucking choice do we have?

No, I've got parenting class later.

I hate when I go on my own. Other women look at me with such pity.

Yeah. So much for sisterhood.

I know, and I keep saying, oh, my boyfriend's working away

but they're starting to suss I've been abandoned. I'll go with you.

What, and pretend to be the father? Aye, yeah.

I'm a gay man. I may never get the chance like.

Will yer? Yeah.

Oh, my God, yes.

Fuck's wrong with him? He needs a shite!

I just, aww, it's like... I am touching cloth, man.

Go and have a poo. Release the hound.

(GROANS)

(GROANS) (VOICES NEXT DOOR)

(HEADBOARD BANGING) Sticky Wicky...

Oh, my God.

Cardi?! Cardi, what the fuck's wrong wi'...

What's going on wi' you? It's Jim... Listen!

(JIM'S VOICE)

Oh, God... Is that Jim?

Fucking Jim. Oi, over 'ere. Jim's having sex wi' a real woman.

Listen to this shit... No!

What shall I do? I'm stuck in the toilet.

Cardi, can you not get out the way you got in?

Let me have a look.

(WOMAN'S VOICE)

The door's ajar... and I haven't wiped my bottom.

Cardi, love. Cardi, listen to me.

You need to wipe your bottom and crawl away.OK. Alright, yeah, OK.

Hi! Jim!

Jim, it's alright, it's Cardi...

What the fuck... I n-needed a poo.

W-Why's it still big, man? Viagra.

Aww... Get the fuck out of my house!

Come on. Move back, don't want to be near it.

And fuck off!

Take care.

Here he is... (LAUGHTER AND WHISTLING)

Looking good, Jim.

What the fuck were going on here? Well, what does it look like?

I've found myself a lady friend

and not only is she clever and kind, she goes like a fucking steam train.

Oh, Jim. I think it's lovely. How long's it been going on for?

Met her at a wedding, few weeks back.

Never thought to fucking tell us?

No, I didn't, because it's none of your fucking business.

These days... You can't even take a shit without turning it

into a gif and posting it on cunting TikTwat.

He's fucking right. Oh, good for you.

I hope you and Sticky Wicky are very happy.Yeah.

Sticky Wicky. It's a fucking pet name.

Sticky Wicky. Cos of where she works.

Why, where does she work? At the Lowry Institute.

Oh, la-de-da... And let me tell you,

there's things you don't know about that matchstick painting cunt.

Probably is. Like what?

Everyone knows his famous work, miserable grey streets,

Salford factories belching out fumes,

shitty little matchstick kids knocking about with dogs

with three legs... One of Britain's greatest artists, Jim.

Downstairs in the basement of the gallery,

that's where the good stuff is... The nose tap.

That how you know, don't yer? Dicks, fannies, flesh.

Hang on. Lowry did not do nudes. It says here.

What they want you to think.

They don't show anyone, don't want to spoil his image.

They're only ever seen by art experts.

Have you seen 'em? Nah.

She says they're tucked away, in a grotty downstairs room, unloved...

Alright, so why are you telling us this tale then?

Because... fucking Lowry... did minge paintings.

That should be something you wanna see...

Can't wait! Yes. Yes.

Can you, can you get us in, then, or what?

I reckon... She'll do anything for me.

See you later, Barry.

There you go...

Oh, still in there, the bugger.

I told you, didn't I, Vincent,

Dylan's disappearance had nothing to do with myself and Barry...

Yeah. You did. Didn't believe me, though, did yer?

Despite my absence being due to the removal of my left testicle.Yeah.

And... and list... Now listen, honestly.

Davey, I'm sorry about that... but to be fair,

you and your brother Barry. God rest his fucking soul.

I mean, Lord God. He's... he's with your testicle now.

Shut up! You and your brother Barry were the most likely candidates

to have done something to Dylan.

True. Only because you've threatened us individually multiple times.

You shook the box with his dead pigeon.

You wanted to put it in a blender and all that. But we forgive you.

Don't we, Davey? Just like that?

With the greatest respect, Donna,

I'm going to need a formal apology.

Davey, come on, he's apologised! Too casual, sweet cheeks.

Don't be a dick, Davey. I'm not being a dick, Davey.

But I don't like being wrongly accused. I know, dude.

Listen to me, look at me for a minute.

I've wronged you, there's nowt worse, it's an injustice.

I'm fucking sorry. I truly mean it, man. I am sorry, fuck me!

Call that an apology? Yeah.

Being serious? I'm trying, yeah!

Sucking on that thing. Why stop there, Vincent?

Why not have a pork pie, or pick at your toe nails... Davey!

No, Donna, what's right is right.

Vincent accused me of hurting one of his friends

and held it against me for months.

And all the time it was the man that he chose over us...

But now Vincent knows the truth, and as he says himself,

this provides an opportunity.

To put him out of the picture for good.

Fuck, yeah, dude. Come on, man.

But there's a problem.

The photos are lost in the cloud. What the fuck? What do you mean?

Well, Barry, he saved 'em and we can't access his bloody files,

the passwords died with him... Oh, fucking bollocks!

And some stupid idiot's stole my laptop and external drive,

so we don't have the copies.

Who? Us.Hang on then.

Most of us use the same passwords,

a pet's name, child's name... He didn't have a pet, or child.

OK, so say we can't access the images.

We need to find another way to fuck over that lying, double-crossing,

weird art-loving prick, and put him inside for a long time.

Davey? I'll get my thinking cap on.

Oh! Fuck me, pervy art! Oooh!

The Lowry paintings.

Were gonna steal 'em, put 'em in Manolito's house and ring the cops.

Boom! He's off to jail. Lewd Lowry's returned to their rightful owner.

Everyone's happy. They get 'em back! Everyone's happy.

What's in it for me then? What do you want, man?

I want you to steal me a pony for Geraldine's granddaughter.

Oh, it's a firm no, that one. It's a hard, very firm no!

The last time we stole a horse,

Ashley and fucking Cardi crashed the van,

high on fucking chloroform, ended up in hospital.

(CAR HORN)

None of that's gonna happen again, is it? Might do!

Fuck it, I'll get you a fucking horse.

I can't believe it, dude! Better be a good one, Vin.

Mane like silk.

Hey? What?

Do that, I'll get you in that Lowry minge basement.

Now come 'ere on that one. You fucking listen to me.

That's an hard job that. But you just leave all that...

To me. Argh!

Fucking hell.

All those things I wanted when I was younger.

All those things I thought I would've done by now.

What's been holding me back?

Vin, I'm planning on a new life, away from all this.

Stealing cars and tiny horses, really, Dylan? That your career?

You're gonna move away, just gonna piss off! I am. I have to.

I'm worried about him. Why?

If we leave, when we leave...

Who... who's gonna look after him?

OK, so... depending on the size of your nipple,

you might have to squeeze the end slightly

to direct the milk into t'baby's mouth.

Yeah. Thank you.

Will breast-feeding hurt my wife?

It can be painful for some women, especially in the first few weeks.

And are there lotions or creams that can help,

with the cracking of the nipple?

Yeah, you can get over-the-counter nipple cream.

And that won't harm baby? No, no, it's perfectly safe.

Safe! OK.

For some women, especially in those first few weeks...

Er, scenario... erm, sorry.

You have a question? If my wife is sleeping

and Daddy's downstairs on the bottle, with the baby,

is there any nipple confusion there, for the baby going from nip to bot?

Well, that's a very good question,

and we will come on to nipple confusion.

If we could do an example quickly...

If you don't mind passing me the, erm...

Ashley. Right, so...

It's soft, it's comforting and it's warm.

Well, the real one is, but obviously this is knitted wool.

We go to the bottle.

This is a different scenario... Don't put that in your mouth!

OK.(WAILS) This is plastic, baby doesn't like it...

Sit down! (GIGGLING)

It's anatomy. It's basic training.

He isn't the father of my baby.

He takes forever this man. Hello.

Where have you been, you dickhead?

No! Chloroform. No!

Are you fucking serious, like?

Get this on a rag. My God!

Over its hooter, down it goes. It's the same...

It's a very firm no!

Then it's a very firm, I'm not coming then. Alright! Alright!

It will work.

Be careful now, lads, don't be breathing any of that shit in.

If you fucking pass out 'ere, this where I'll leave you.

We're not going back to hospital like last time!

Remember that. When you nearly died.

You both went yellow. I still think this is a shit idea. Calm down now.

Have a lovely little Shetland sleep now.

MUSIC: "Insane In The Brain" by Cypress Hill

Told you. Just get him in the fucking van.

Mind his mane. He said mane like silk.

It's like a snapped tow rope.

Poor fucking thing. Well in.

That was easier than last time. It would have to be.

You nearly fucking died.

I don't like the look of it. Come on. It's got a mean face.

He doesn't look at his best right now.

He had a session on chloroform, with these dickheads.

He's hung over! Give him a chance.

It looks like my Uncle Norris. No.

And he used to show his bunions to people on buses. Listen to me.

You asked for a black pony. Shetland, there it is, as requested.

He's a good lad. Fine.

Yeah, fine. Did you get the Lowry minge info?

Yes. Oh. Good man.

But... Go on..

There's a bit of a problem. Course there fucking is.

Jesus wept! Except...

Call me genius. I have a plan and I've got a way in.

Art restorers. Art restorers?

As in people that restore art.

A specialist crew.

Now... There's a restoration team

coming to the Lowry Institute next Wednesday.

They're doing work on some of the paintings in the basement.

Access is by finger scan only.

And Geraldine is letting them in...

Turns out the pervy Lowrys are located

in a specially constructed airtight room.

B7.

So I say, you lot turn up early with fake IDs.

Bag up the minge paintings.

Make an exit to the underground carpark.

Where the van is waiting to make an hasty escape.

The real restorers will turn up on time

and Geraldine will realise something is amiss.

(GASPS) She'll call the cops.

But by then you'll have tipped them off about the monkey fucker.

Listen. Gallery's expecting three restorers. We're gonna replace 'em.

That's gotta be me, Ashley and our Tom down there.

I've roped in Adyan as the getaway. Now, I need you...

Outside with Carol and Sugar, alright?

That's in case the fucking restorers, real ones, arrive.

Sugar, I need you pulling like a big scene.

Labour, go into labour, scream and shout and all that.

Why me? Cos you're the one that's bloody pregnant.

I can't do that. You can, just like an orgasm.

In my experience they are one and the same, visually.

You are a perverted piece of shit, aren't you?

She's getting it. Hang on, why are me and Meena inside the building?

Keeping watch in case any staff go down unexpected.

Do you know what I mean? No?

Now, Davey, Donna, I need you at Manolito's,

get him out of that maze house

so we can sneak in the stolen art. No problem.

If it means that twisted fucker gets sent away...

Oh, hang on a second, Donna... It's an excellent plan, Vincent.

But those minge paintings I would very much like to see myself.

As you know, I am a connoisseur of the erotic.

I will come along, Vincent, as a restorer.

You mean on the job? Very much so. Little bit of excitement.

Be like the good old days with our Barry.

Can take my spot so, cos I've got, er,

obligations with my fake ball and chain over there in the corner.

They're expecting three.

Fucking know that. I will be the supervisor

who's come along to make sure that the job's done properly.

I want to see those Lowry lady parts, Vincent.

Yeah. So you get me a toolbox.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Can do, yeah.

Absolutely.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

♪ ROSE ROYCE: Car Wash

♪ Ooh ooh

♪ You might not ever get rich

♪ But let me tell ya, it's better than diggin' a ditch

♪ There ain't no tellin' who you might meet

♪ A movie star or maybe even an Indian chief... ♪

Here he is. Hiya, fella. Hello.

Right. Listen we are from Cuddlipps, art restorers.

Cuddlipps.Yeah. No, don't look at that.

We're here to see Geraldine Thorpe. Is she kicking about?

I'll call her for you. Good lad. Have you come far today?

Not really. Stoke.Stoke. Lovely.

It's neither lovely nor unlovely.

It's just a post-industrial conurbation

that's struggled to find its purpose since it's pottery heyday.

Yeah. I'll just call her for you.

Me and our Barry used to go swinging in Stoke.Golly.

Voicemail. I have a feeling she's still be in the management meeting.

What's the odds on you doing me a massive favour?

Nip into that meeting, see if she'll finish a bit early.

(CHUCKLES) OK. Just for you. Just this once, all right?

Sound. OK.You're an angel, man.

OK.I swear to God, man. Lovely lad. Lovely lad. Can I get a coffee?

(LOCK CHIRRUPS) What you doing?

Locking the car, Erin. And you're gonna take the keys.

It's the fucking getaway car.

Ash, honestly, what is going on wi' your brain?

I don't want to be eyes and ears, Erin,

and pretend to be interested in boring paintings.

My wife's having a baby. Right, get in.

Nothing like a crisp sandwich, like. It's the best food in the world.

Just look at that. There's just no love in that.

He was amazing, wasn't he? Mm.Hm?

I mean, look at the detail there. Oh, yeah.

What? That's awful. It looks like something a four-year-old could do.

It's better than anything you'd come up with.

Oh, better than anything I'd come up with(!) Fuck!

Hey, look. "It doesn't take brains to be an artist, just feelings."

Shit at dogs, mind.

Shit. They're here.

Who? The real team. Fuck! They're fucking early.

Make your own. I'm having none of it. Don't you want it?

She tried to give me spaghetti roll as if that's a thing. Do you want it? No.I'll have it.

ERIN: 'They're in a blue van. They're early.'Who's early?

The real restorers!

Fuck, shit. Sugar, get your fucking shopping. They're here early.

Fucking blue van. Blue van.

Blue van. Here, here.

Here she is. She a bloody vision, isn't she?

Hello, gentlemen. A little earlier than advertised.

Yeah, we made good on the bloody traffic.

Er, do you wanna show us the gear? We've got a lot to do.

I know you're busy. Yes, definitely. I was only expecting three of you.

I'm the supervisor.

Oh. Here to crack the whip.

Follow me. Nice one

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Oh! Argh!

Oh, God! I fell over!

(CHATTER CONTINUES)I've taken a fall! I've dropped all my shopping!

They haven't even noticed. (CHATTER CONTINUES)

Pregnant woman, help!

Is she all right? Help us, all of you. We need to get her up.

(MUTTERS) Make a bit of noise. Moan.

Oh, my baby! My poor unborn child!

(MUTTERS) Don't overdo it. Shall we call an ambulance?

No, no, no need. We just need to get her up.

Come on, all of you! Help us, please!

(BEEPS)

(BEEPS) (SIGHS) Oh, this bloomin' machine.

Slightest bit of moisture on your finger and it doesn't scan.

I tend to have very sweaty fingers.

(BEEPS) I said to the director,

"This finger business is useless."

He just laughed and said, "Oh, Geraldine, I'll finger you." Hm.

(BEEPS) Oh, success. (CHUCKLES)

Are you OK, love? I think I'm OK. I mean, I'm still in lots of pain,

but I didn't land on the bump, so I probably just need a little...

Have a little rest. Sit down. Just have a little...

Ooh! Are you OK, darling?

Yeah, yeah, no, I just had a... funny...

Arh! Oh, shit. Carol...

Do you know her? Loosely. (SPLASHING)Oh! My waters have broken

Oh, my God, my baby's coming!

Oh! Hm. Convincing.

This is our glorious dungeon.

But instead of ghosts and ghouls, we have works of the finest art.

JIM: 'The perv paintings, they're in B7.'

Er, Geraldine. Hm? Sorry, dude.

Do you mind if we have a look in B7? No, no, no, B6 first.

They more traditional Lowrys.

B7 is his um...

(CLEARS THROAT) ..lesser seen work.

As a Lowry connoisseur, I would be honoured...

Yeah... if you would show us these ones first.

Go on! Go on. Yeah, yeah, go on!

Come on then. (GIGGLES)

Oh! There they are.

Shall I er, reveal them?

If you would, I'll be made up. I'm excited for this.Fantastic.

Here we go. Right.

Fucking hell. Wow.Whoo.Yeah.

Mm. OK.

Outstanding. It's a lot to take on board.Weird.A lot going on.

OK.Yeah.Now they're very... (CLEARS THROAT)

I'm gonna say imaginative. Oh, aren't they?

A little... away from his more familiar terrain.

Yeah.Definitely. I'd say... I mean that's...

Fucking bellend. It's massive, innit?

It's too big. Mammoth.

Expressionistic.

I think they're wonderful. (GASPS SOFTLY)

So erotic. They shouldn't be hidden down here, they should be up there,

out and proud, alongside his matchstick work.

I agree. But, alas, not everyone feels the same.

It's a crying shame. It is really.

Well, I tell you, while were here,

we may as well give these minges a quick wipe down.

Well, I'll let you get on with it. You've got a lot to get through.

Thanks for your help, Geraldine. Go on. (CHUCKLES HEARTILY)

Great job, great job.

Thank you very much. Ha-ha!

Right, lads.

Let's bag 'em!

Get rags from your van and find water. She needs the hospital.

No, no, no, I used to be a nurse, so I can deliver this baby.

Carol, you were a nurse in a porno!

Well, I did deliver one baby this year. We can drive her, in our van.

No, not necessary. Yes, yes, necessary. Very necessary.

They can take her in their van, Carol. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Good idea. But we're gonna need all of you.

OK? All of you. Come on. Oh, fuck! OK. It's OK.

(DISTANT SIREN WAILS)

Oh, God. It's the police. The police.

They could be going anywhere, Erin.

Ash, there's a robbery going on and there's sirens.

Where else would they be heading? Fuck. Ring Vinnie.Cardi.

Cardi. It's Sugar, S-she's having the baby.

Oh, God. Sugar's having the baby. (GASPS)

She's having the baby now. I need to be at the birth. Wait, no. Ash!

And the p-police are coming. (SIREN WAILS)

Fucking hell. Ssh! You lot...

Hi.Ohh. What are you um...

Now, I know what this looks like. It doesn't look good.

It doesn't look good.Um... But there is a very good reason...

(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)What the fuck?! Dude, what are you doing?!

Tie her legs. No, No, don't... Shut the fuck up and tie her legs.

What the fuck are you playing at? Are you mental?

(MUFFLED CRY)Listen, Davey. She's a nice lady, she -

Shut the fuck up! Do you want her shouting?

What you doing? Leave her.(MUFFLED CRY)

Fuck! Listen, I'm taking this out. Please don't scream.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. We'll get it all back. Promise.

Eh? I'm sorry, I'm fucking sorry. Davey, you fucking arsehole.

What the fuck is wrong... Fucking thing.

Arh! What the fuck is wrong with you, Davey?

Oi, you're out of order. That's a nice lady, that.

Look, that nice lady was about to fuck up this whole operation.

We don't fucking hurt people. That's not what we do.

We don't work like that, man. Shut the fuck up.

Fuck! Just hang on. Hang on.

(PHONE RINGS) We can't stop, Vincent!

Stop. It's fucking Meena. Will you shut up?

What's going on? Police. There's sirens. Get the fuck out of there.

Police. Police. What? Shit. We need to get out of here now.

Where are you going? Take the fucking stairs! Oh, my God.

I am not going back to prison, Vincent.

No MacDonaghs are gonna go to prison.

No, but... Toodle pip. No, no, no.

Don't fucking leave me here man. Shit, dude.

(LIFT BELL PINGS) Oh, my God.

Fuck!

Fuck my life!

Course there's no fucking reception.

Christ on a fucking bike. (RUNNING FOOTSTEPS)Ooh, shit.

Vin! Vin! Oh! Arh!

Sugar's having the baby! Eh? She's having the baby.

Is she doing a good job? No, she's really having the baby.

Really? She's gone into labour. Oh, my fucking God.

Get the little one, get the little one.

Quick!

(TYRES SCREECH)

♪ HOLE: Celebrity Skin

We're gonna be all right.

Oh, shit.

What? Fuck.

Oh, shit.(SIREN WAILS) Maybe they're not for us.

(GASPS) Oh, fuck.

♪ THE BLACK KEYS: Howlin' For You

Vin.

It's OK.

Vin.

It's all right.

Fuck it! (GASPS)

Vin, Vin, Vin, Vin.

Vin! Shit. Arh.

It's all right. Shit. It's all right.

It's not all right. No, we'll get rid of him. I can lose him. How?

Vinnie, please. It's all right, sweetheart. Shit, still there.

Fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Vin. Vinnie.

Vinnie, they're gaining on us. They're n-They are.

They're not, sweetheart. (SHRIEKS)

They're fucking gaining on us. They're catching us up, Vin.

They're not, sweetheart. Vin. Vin.

It's all right. Calm down.

(SCREAMS) (HORN BLARES)

Shit. Fuck! It's all right, love.

(SCREAMS) (HORN BLARES)

I'll get us out of it. It's all right.

(HORNS BLARE)

Oh, my God. Nice. (LAUGHS)

Come on!

Fuck. Fuck! (LAUGHS)

We've got to get off the road. This is a shortcut. I know a shortcut.

It's fabulous.

Fucking hell Piece of piss

Not a piece of piss As per the usual, got away with it.

Just. Just.

(LAUGHS)

Fucking lunatic. Have a little bit of faith.

Whoo. All right. See what I mean? Scot free.

Oh, fuck me!

(TYRES SCREECH) (SCREAMS)

(TENSE MUSIC)

Oh, fuck me. (GASPS)Are you all right?

I think I've hurt my arm. Fucking hell.

Can you get out on your side? No, I'm wedged.

Yeah. Are you? I think I'm wedged too, yeah.Fuck.

Right, now... we need to get the belts off.

Try and use your weight. Can you manage? I'll do yours.

Think so. No! Don't do mine.

You do yours and I'll do mine. OK.

One, two, three? Yeah. One, two, three.

(SEAT BELTS CLICK) (HEAVY THUDDING)

Are you all right, sweet? Yeah.

Are you through? Yeah, I've got through. Through? Yeah.

There's enough space. You all right? No.No.

(GRUNTS) Fuck. I'm so sorry.

(THUDDING)Come on! I can't do it.

Mine's wedged an' all.Fuck. It's stuck. Yeah, we are.

Fucking hell. Shit!

We'll have to call someone. Do you know where we are? Not really. No?

I'll drop a pin on me phone, won't I?

(INHALES AND SNIFFS) Oh, my God. I can smell petrol. Eh?

I can smell petrol. Vin, we're in a fucking crashed car!

I can smell petrol. We're gonna blow up, aren't we? Calm down.

HELP! Sweetheart, oi, oi - (SCREECHES) HELP!

I'm having a panic attack. Stop. Sweetheart, look at me.

Just for a minute. Oi. I can't get out, Vin.Oi.

Calm the fuck down. Listen to me now.

When have I ever let anything happen to you? You don't get that choice.

I do.No.I fucking do. We've been in worse situations

and always got away with it, haven't we? Yeah, so far.

One day your luck's gonna run out. Gonna get yourself fucking killed.

(SIGHS) Oh, fuck.

Today might be the day. It's not today, is it? How do you know?

You haven't got some guardian angel looking out for you.

Look what happened to Dylan. Oh, for God's sake. Fuck sake.

Dylan is fine, I know he is. How do you know? Why hasn't he come back?

Why hasn't he been in contact with us, even on the fucking sly?

(SIGHS)

Do you know how many times I've had to lie to Tyler?

Tell him that he's happy and he's gone away somewhere.

I can't I tell him that Uncle Dylan got snatched in the night

and we haven't seen him since, can I?

(SIGHS)No, not that, obviously. Fucking hell.Exactly.

I mean, it... it's not my fate, Vin.

I'm not gonna wait for you to have a fucking car crash.

I'm gonna get a fucking phone call

and someone's gonna tell me your guardian angel let you down.

Or you've been finished off by McCann, the MacDonaghs, Manolito.

Fuck sake. Is that the only thing that's keeping you here?

No, of course it's not. Course it's not.

But all those things that I wanted when I as younger...

..all those things I thought I would have done by now.

I love you, Vin.

You're amazing with Tyler.

And you're loving, you're loyal, but... Just... stop a minute.

Do you know there's nothing more... there's nothing more I wanna do

than give you a love in this fucking crashed car.

Because I do love you, you know. I'm in love with you, madly.

And I get fucking lonely, you know.

I know I do it to myself. I just can't bear how bloody lonely I get.

Can't be normal.

I just can't be what people need.

It's fucking horrible. I can't be what people need from a person.

(TEARFULLY) So frustrating all the time.

(SOBS) So it just... fucking consumes me,

the moods and that, and I just don't wanna give it to anyone.

Cos when you love someone you only want 'em to be happy.

You know?

And if... if letting you go...

..if that means you will be happy, that's what I wanna do.

I wanna let you go.

I let you go.

And you need to let me go too.

I love you.

♪ CILLA BLACK: You're My World

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

No, don't go too fast.

The wheels go spinning. Ash! Sugar, can you -Ash! Fuck off!

♪ You're every move I make

♪ Other eyes see the stars

♪ Up in the skies

♪ But for me they shine...

(GRUNTS)

Arhhh!

♪ For the sun above...

Oh.

(CRIES OUT) Oh, God.

Ohh!

Oh, my... (SHOCKED LAUGH)

♪ With your hand

♪ Resting in mine...

Hiya, son. Dad?

I just thought I'd give you a call.

(BABY CRIES)

(BABY CRIES)

He looks like JJ!

And maybe a bit like me?

Ohh.

He's here. (CHEERING)

Come on then, give us the details.

She's massive, Tom. No, that's um... that's too much information.

DYLAN: 'Vin?

'I'm sorry I've not been in touch erm...

'Listen, Manolito knows...'

He knows that you know about him.

And he fucking.... He scared me, man.

He told me to run. Told me things would happen to Tyler and Erin.

(THUDDING) 'And I believed him.'

I hate myself for it but I thought maybe it's my chance to start again.

Hey! 'A new life.'

Cos back there I...

..I fucked it.

I fucked it all up. I really miss you, dude.

Um... be careful, all right?

I love you, man.

I love you.

(PHONE PINGS) Oh, my God!

(GASPS) (GIGGLES)

Yay!

SUGAR: Who's this?

(BABY CRIES)

You OK, Tommo? Yeah.

(BABY CRIES) Are you all right?

(PHONE BUZZES SOFTLY)

(Yeah.) (PHONE BEEPS)

A situation has arisen with Vincent O'Neill.

What kind of situation?

Don't worry, it's nothing I cannot handle.

Do whatever you need to do.

♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind

♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind

♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind

♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind

♪ Give me the strength to carry on

♪ Give me the strength to carry on... ♪

AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk