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1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,537
* MTV ♪
2
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,577
- That is humorous, yes.
- Very humorous, yes.
3
00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,412
- Quite jocular, yes.
- Droll, very droll, yes.
4
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,881
Whimsical, yes.
Yes, quite absurd, yes.
5
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,183
Quite whimsical, yes.
6
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,850
Priceless wit
of a satirical bit, yes.
7
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:41,842
- Smart Butt-Head?
- Yes, Smart Beavis.
8
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,146
Why have we been called today
before the Supreme Leaders?
9
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,014
Surely to reward us
for our good work
10
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,982
and many achievements in space.
11
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:50,851
Perhaps they will give us
a trophy.
12
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,620
Yes, the Supreme Leaders
love us
13
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:54,155
because we are smart.
14
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:58,859
So begins the trial
15
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,662
of Smart Beavis
and Smart Butt-Head
16
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:05,166
for crimes against Earth 327-Z.
17
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:08,202
This is the opposite
of what we expected.
18
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:11,038
- Our logic was in error.
- Indeed so.
19
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:14,041
This tribunal
finds you guilty.
20
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:15,876
- Guilty.
- Guilty!
21
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,579
- Guilty.
- Guilty, mm-kay?
22
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,281
Thoroughly at odds
23
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,816
with the deontological theory
of law,
24
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:25,819
as put forth
by Smart Emmanuel Kant.
25
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,189
Well put, Smart Todd.
26
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,657
You were supposed
to have spent
27
00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:31,125
the last two years
28
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,527
exploring the various universes
and what have you,
29
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:36,096
but all you've done is run up
an expense account
30
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,031
on space nachos
31
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,168
and intergalactic pornography.
32
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:42,270
In our defense,
Supreme Leader,
33
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:43,737
we were observing the universe
34
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,106
where Beavis and Butt-Head
are in middle age.
35
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,008
Yes, at the height
of their powers.
36
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,311
No one cares about that
at all.
37
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:53,614
I mean, come on,
just listen to yourselves.
38
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,284
And now, the matter
of your punishment.
39
00:01:56,284 --> 00:02:00,654
Your sentence is death,
mm-kay?
40
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,089
Am I to understand
41
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,258
that we are definitely not
getting a trophy, then?
42
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,927
Your sentence
will be suspended,
43
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,796
and you will be permitted
to live,
44
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,798
on the following condition.
45
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,734
You must quit screwing around
and successfully complete
46
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,736
one scientific mission.
47
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,738
Your mission is as follows:
48
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,607
you will go to Earth-1,
49
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:22,243
the planet they call
normal Earth,
50
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:25,179
and abduct a human
for scientific experiments.
51
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:29,183
Failure will result
in disintegration, mm-kay?
52
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,885
May science be with you.
53
00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:38,125
Very well.
We must abduct a human.
54
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,328
Set course
for normal Earth.
55
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,164
Whoopsie-daisy.
56
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,900
Should we leave a space note
on their windshield?
57
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,802
- No.
- That was humorous.
58
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,671
- Quite humorous.
- Very droll indeed, yes.
59
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,514
Who is this,
Smart Butt-Head?
60
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,451
This is an Earthling
named Ronnie Dunn.
61
00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,753
He is a singer
of country songs.
62
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,556
He is the best and smartest
that Earth has to offer.
63
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:11,692
He has won 27
Academy of Country Music awards
64
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,428
for masterworks
such as "Cost of Livin'"
65
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:17,197
and "Mama Don't Get Dressed Up
For Nothing."
66
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,399
Ah, yes.
67
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,334
So country music
has an academy?
68
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,570
Yes, they do.
Perhaps we could teach there
69
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,272
if they don't already have instructors
70
00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:25,973
in non-gravitational propulsion
71
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,876
or advanced mathematics
across fractional dimensions.
72
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,044
We would instantly be
the smartest professors
73
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,713
at the country music academy,
74
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,282
for humans are stupid.
75
00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:35,849
Yes, very stupid.
76
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:38,085
Look at this one,
trying to wrestle a cow.
77
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,720
Humorous, quite humorous.
78
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,556
Which one is the human,
and which one is the cow?
79
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,758
Ah, yes, humorous.
Quite jocular, yes.
80
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:48,095
That one appears smarter.
He must be the cow.
81
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:51,699
Please stop, Smart Butt-Head.
I need to catch my breath.
82
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:52,900
Yes.
83
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,235
* He's walking to the left ♪
84
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,537
I don't know why,
85
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,906
but this music is making me
love America.
86
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,008
This video also makes me want
87
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:02,976
to worship the man
they call Jesus.
88
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:04,478
Yes, yes indeed, yes.
89
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,046
They have finally made music
90
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,316
for ordinary space people
like us.
91
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,484
Those of us
from the heartland of space
92
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,586
who work hard
and deserve to unwind.
93
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,721
Yes, yes.
94
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:16,089
* Where the whiskey flows ♪
95
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,891
I wish there was
more footage
96
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,527
of the females in this video.
97
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:22,330
Yes, yes, it is a veritable
intergalactic festival
98
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,964
of sausage, Smart Beavis.
99
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,599
Ah, yes, yes, so called
100
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,368
because
an intergalactic sausage
101
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,870
looks like a space penis,
yes, it does, yes.
102
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,805
Quite humorous.
103
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,508
Notice the females
are becoming intoxicated.
104
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,677
It is part of their ritual
of scoring.
105
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:39,179
On this planet,
the slut is shamed.
106
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,914
Ah, yes, yes,
quite primitive,
107
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,115
quite primitive.
108
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,183
Yes.
109
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,185
Your mother is a slut.
110
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,254
I had non-procreational
sexual intercourse
111
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:48,356
with your mother.
112
00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:49,623
Thank you, Smart Butt-Head.
113
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,392
I am honored,
for on our planet,
114
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:52,760
we have realized long ago
115
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,294
that the slut
is not to be shamed,
116
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,729
but to be honored.
117
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:59,166
Yes, and your mother
is quite honorable.
118
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,601
Again, thank you,
Smart Butt-Head.
119
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,370
It is said that
there are more men
120
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,871
that have been
inside your mother
121
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,205
than there are Planck lengths
122
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:08,442
in the entire diameter
of the universe.
123
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,578
Let us talk more
about this video,
124
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,946
Smart Butt-Head,
and not of my mother.
125
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,583
Is this the cowboy's wife?
126
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:18,652
I believe that it is called
a horse, Smart Beavis.
127
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,187
I did not ask you
to evaluate
128
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,955
the wife's appearance,
Smart Butt-Head.
129
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,157
I'm just asking,
are they married?
130
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,893
- Humor detected.
- Yes, humorous.
131
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,160
Quite humorous.
132
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,896
Yes, yes, humorous
in the way
133
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,330
of the belt of the borscht.
134
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,999
Yes, yes,
and the mountainous region
135
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,634
of the Catskills.
- Yes.
136
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:49,282
Let us now begin abducting,
Smart Beavis.
137
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,218
Yes, yes, let it be so.
138
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:57,925
We must find a human
to abduct, Smart Butt-Head.
139
00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:00,894
Smart Beavis, observe.
140
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,396
And now, the winner
141
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,932
of the 35th annual
chili cook-off,
142
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:07,000
Tom Anderson.
143
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,036
Thank you.
144
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,505
I owe it all to my brisket.
145
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,507
Observe, Smart Butt-Head.
146
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,375
We have arrived
on the coronation day
147
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,744
of their king.
148
00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,345
How fortuitous.
149
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:21,014
Let us seize him
and take him to our ship.
150
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:23,050
Humorous,
but also menacing, yes.
151
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,385
Yes, yes, mirthful
and sinister as well, yes, yes.
152
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,522
It's a hell of a chili, Tom.
153
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,624
Well, thank you, Bob.
154
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:33,326
I'm just gonna go get
a couple two more beers
155
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,929
out of my car
to wash it down with.
156
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,338
Greetings, Your Majesty.
157
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,508
We salute you, oh royal one.
158
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,043
Well, thank you kindly.
159
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:53,447
Are you boys in one of them
fraternal organizations?
160
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:56,650
My daddy was a proud member
of the Elks Club.
161
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,185
Are you all Elks?
162
00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:00,721
- You must come with us.
- Now, please.
163
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,389
Hell, all right.
164
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:04,625
You know, I always wondered
what you gotta do
165
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:07,828
to get invited to join
the Elks in this town.
166
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:11,932
I guess you just gotta win
a chili cook-off.
167
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,667
After you, Your Majesty.
168
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:17,204
Boy, this van of yours
must be a custom job.
169
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:19,573
You do this yourself,
or have it done?
170
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:22,776
We purchased it used
from Smart Beavis' uncle.
171
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,912
Yes, yes, it had
numerous issues
172
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,146
he did not disclose.
173
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,380
But no matter,
174
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,049
for you are now our captive.
175
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,856
Huh.
- Hmm.
176
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:38,391
Is that boy gonna be
all right now?
177
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:41,695
That was
another whoopsie-daisy.
178
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:42,896
Trying it again.
179
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,798
Ah!
180
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:45,866
Humorous.
181
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,467
Humorous
in a foreboding manner.
182
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,269
Yes, quite humorous, yes.
183
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,411
Very well, Smart Beavis.
184
00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,581
We shall now perform
scientific experiments
185
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,782
on this human.
186
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:04,652
Does that mean
probe his anus?
187
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,454
That is what it means,
and that is all that it means.
188
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:09,222
Prepare the machine.
189
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,758
Hmm.
190
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,993
How many anuses
does a human have?
191
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,928
I believe one.
192
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,599
The machine
is fully prepared.
193
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:21,434
Then let the science begin.
194
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,641
I think the machine
is broken, Smart Butt-Head.
195
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,476
Do you know how to fix it?
196
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,579
No.
Do you?
197
00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:35,148
Well, I could probably get
that working for you again.
198
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,785
Nine times out of ten,
what you're looking at
199
00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:40,387
is a bad motor coupling.
200
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:46,126
Well, the capacitor seems good.
That's not it.
201
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,295
You know,
I don't exactly remember
202
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:51,231
who you boys are
or how I even got here.
203
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,833
Yes, your memory was wiped
204
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,367
with a mnemulator.
205
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,671
Well, I call it a case
of senioritis.
206
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:03,276
I ain't never seen
something like this before.
207
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:06,279
Must be made in Italy
or something.
208
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:09,583
It is made in a universe
beyond your comprehension.
209
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:13,120
Ah, well, then it's
probably all metric.
210
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,356
Oh, here's your problem.
211
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:19,559
See, this wire housing
just worked its way loose.
212
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,932
We just gotta tighten
that up like so.
213
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,234
See, you take this
into the shop,
214
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,070
and they see you got
a custom van from Italy,
215
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,906
they're gonna say it needs
all kinds of parts
216
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,908
and run the price up on you,
217
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,910
but it's just a loose housing.
218
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,113
So it works now?
219
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,915
It sure does.
220
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,984
So what's this thing do anyway?
221
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,285
It seals your doom.
222
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:47,487
What now?
223
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:48,789
Incapacitate him
224
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,423
and attach him to the probe.
225
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,126
Very well, but first,
I shall wipe his memory
226
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,594
with a mnemulator.
227
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:55,796
Look at this device.
228
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:56,930
You might see a bright light.
229
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,531
Look at what now?
230
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,304
Whoops, I missed.
231
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,640
Where am I?
Who are you?
232
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,875
What is your name?
233
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:09,576
Are you boys all right?
234
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,211
What is this device?
235
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,346
I do not remember it.
236
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:16,283
It seems I can fit inside it.
237
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,951
Yes, quite comfortable, yes.
238
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,020
Do you remember
what this button does?
239
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,522
I do not.
Please press it.
240
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,993
Agh!
My anus.
241
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,328
Agh!
There is a probing of my anus.
242
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,964
Sir, do you remember
how to turn this machine off?
243
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,565
The device
is unfolding something.
244
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,567
It is expanding.
- This is quite humorous.
245
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,370
Well, I don't need to join
the Elks Club that bad,
246
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,906
I tell you what.
247
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:40,974
That sounds like the kind
of shenanigans
248
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,843
they do at the Moose Lodge.
249
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,611
There seems to be
an unexpected intrusion
250
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:45,879
in my anus.
251
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:46,847
Its reach was
much more further
252
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,081
than I had imagined.
253
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,449
I remember who I am now,
254
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,384
and it is making it worse.
255
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,519
My anus.
256
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,866
Um, Cody, you said
257
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,801
we could come over here
and play your game,
258
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,269
and we've been watching
you play
259
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,671
for, like, an hour.
260
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,106
I didn't say
you could play it.
261
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,541
I said you could see it.
262
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,309
Um, what?
263
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:17,644
It's called seeing.
264
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,679
You do it
with your eyes, genius.
265
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,614
Damn it, Cody,
we wanna play.
266
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,884
Yeah, yeah, I wanna shoot
guys in the butt.
267
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:25,085
Yeah.
268
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,586
I don't care.
I hate you guys.
269
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,822
Cody, you suck
270
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,858
more than anyone
has ever sucked.
271
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,625
- Yeah, and you suck.
- Aw.
272
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:36,096
it's so good to see
Cody is making friends.
273
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,264
What friends?
274
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,832
This is wonderful.
275
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,567
Cody, why don't you invite
your new friends
276
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,602
for dinner, hmm?
- But...
277
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,606
Beavis, do you like
broccolini?
278
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:49,042
Is she, like, a chick
or something?
279
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,978
So you two are
Cody's new friends?
280
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:53,146
Uh, sir, we're just here
281
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,714
because we wanna play
this video game.
282
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,984
It's turning into such
a good year for Cody.
283
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:59,186
I knew it would happen
sooner or later.
284
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,988
Uh, no, seriously, he's,
like, kind of a butthole--
285
00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:02,790
We're gonna do
everything we can
286
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,858
to make it work out this time.
287
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,660
Dad, help me in the kitchen
a minute?
288
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,864
Don't have too much fun
without us.
289
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:13,100
Get out of my house.
290
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,368
We're not leaving
until we play the video game,
291
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:16,770
you butthole.
292
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,839
That's right.
Yeah. [snickers] You said.
293
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,408
No matter how much
this place sucks,
294
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,610
we will stay
until we can shoot those guys
295
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,078
in the butt.
296
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,114
Yeah, exactly.
297
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:30,784
Okay, fine, you can shoot
one guy in the butt, then go.
298
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:34,287
One guy in the butt each.
299
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,655
Fine.
300
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,357
Okay, then.
301
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,526
Seconds for everybody.
302
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:42,262
Mom, can Beavis and Butt-Head
go play the video game,
303
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,763
like, right now?
304
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,132
Of course you can.
305
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,200
But before we have
screen time,
306
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,368
what do we have?
307
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,070
Family time.
308
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:55,675
Does anyone see an edge piece
with a little bit of cloud?
309
00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:58,711
This sucks.
310
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,757
Uh... hmm.
311
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:14,862
Yeah.
312
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:22,035
Huh.
313
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:25,372
This is the worst song
I've ever heard in my life.
314
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,943
Is it a song, though?
315
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,645
I don't think it's
a song, Butt-Head.
316
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,347
Yeah, it is.
317
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,783
It's got, like, notes
318
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:39,819
and music or something.
319
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,455
Yeah, yeah,
definitely not a song.
320
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,025
I think it's just, like, sounds
321
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,861
that are supposed to, like,
calm you down, you know?
322
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:52,732
Damn it, Beavis, just sounds
can't calm you down.
323
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:55,468
You need a song
to calm you down.
324
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,337
No, you don't!
325
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,839
It's calming me down,
and it's not a song.
326
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:00,840
What's your problem?
327
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,042
My problem is,
328
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:03,810
I'm sick of sitting
next to you
329
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,079
being wrong all the time
about everything.
330
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,048
Yeah, well, I'm sick of you
331
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,717
telling me I'm wrong
all the time, yeah.
332
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,519
I've had enough of your crap,
333
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,054
so shut up.
334
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:17,824
Beavis, I will beat
the living crap out of you
335
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:19,826
if you ever talk to me
like that again.
336
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,328
Oh, yeah, yeah?
337
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:23,563
Well, let me say it again,
Butt-Head.
338
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:27,234
You're wrong, and I'm tired
of you giving me crap
339
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,269
all the time!
340
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,904
You wanna do something
about it?
341
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,940
Uh, yeah.
342
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,908
I'm gonna do this about it.
343
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,576
Agh! Damn it!
344
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,179
Shove it up your ass, you--
345
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:41,848
- I've been waiting
346
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,450
a long time for this, Beavis.
347
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:44,952
Oh, no, you don't!
No, you don't!
348
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,586
Your mom is a--[groans]
349
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,222
Shut up, Butt-Head.
350
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,524
Say one more thing
about my mom!
351
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,762
You don't like that,
do you, huh?
352
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,166
Beavis, I'm gonna kill you.
353
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,701
- Yah!
354
00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:06,006
Don't even try that--ugh!
355
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,740
Oh, no, you don't,
no, you don't!
356
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,542
- Gah!
357
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,192
Ugh. [groans]
358
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:28,695
Oh, what's that?
359
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:32,065
Uh... [groaning]
360
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,466
Uh, where are we?
What happened?
361
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:39,572
What's that?
- Uh...
362
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:42,809
I don't know,
but this song sucks.
363
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,214
Yeah, um...
364
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,849
I don't think
that's a song, Butt-Head.
365
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,884
Yeah, definitely not a song.
366
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:54,954
Damn it, Beavis.
367
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,127
Oh, this is definitely
the side of the barn.
368
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,095
Can Beavis and Butt-Head
just play the video game
369
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,430
for five minutes
so they can leave?
370
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,532
Cody, you know that this time
is important
371
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,234
for us to connect as a family.
372
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:08,701
Sometimes, honey, we feel
373
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,304
like we're just not connecting
with you like we should.
374
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,173
And that's why it's important
for us to spend time
375
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:14,407
with you and your friends,
376
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,576
who I know are very important
to you.
377
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,745
This piece looks
like it has a schlong.
378
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:27,287
Cody, you didn't tell us
your friend was a comedian.
379
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,189
Uh, a what?
380
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,558
"Schlong" is
age-appropriate language.
381
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,594
Very natural for teenagers
to be testing limits.
382
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:37,164
Look, Beavis, your piece
fits right in here.
383
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,299
Yeah, whoa!
384
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:42,235
Boing-oing-oing-oing-
oing-oing-oing.
385
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,903
See, Cody never tells us
386
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,905
the cool teen lingo
like "boing."
387
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,907
We have to learn it
from his friends.
388
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,109
Boing.
- Yeah, that there's
389
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,310
a real nice boing.
390
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:52,612
- Mom.
- Boing-oing-oing.
391
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:53,846
Boing-yoing-yoing.
392
00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:57,750
That new teen slang
is terrific.
393
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,487
Whoa.
Your mom's got wood.
394
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:03,123
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, your dad, too, yeah.
395
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,591
Yeah, they're probably
gonna score.
396
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:05,892
Yeah.
397
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,094
Mom, Dad, seriously.
398
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:08,395
They have to g--
- You know what?
399
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,263
We're all having
such a good time.
400
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:11,731
Why don't you two
spend the night?
401
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,133
That's a great idea.
402
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:16,069
Oh, it's just so much fun
that Cody has friends now.
403
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,504
- Mom...
- Wait, what's happening?
404
00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:20,006
We can finish the puzzle
and then play Risk.
405
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:21,574
Or Settlers of Catan.
406
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,710
And then hot cocoa
and go to bed.
407
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,678
Uh, no.
408
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:27,414
We wanna play the video game.
409
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,382
Yeah, yeah, we wanna shoot
guys in the butt.
410
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,450
Yeah.
411
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,352
You can play
all day tomorrow.
412
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:33,586
Don't worry.
413
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,555
Cody's got some PJs
he's grown out of.
414
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:41,828
Uh... this sucks.
415
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,631
- Yeah, really.
- I know.
416
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:52,405
Uh, well, this sucks.
417
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,006
- Oh, God.
418
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:55,375
Now, I know you guys
were planning
419
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,943
on playing video games
all day...
420
00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:59,279
Yeah, we're gonna shoot
a guy in the butt.
421
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:01,748
But after breakfast,
let's all go down to the park
422
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,383
and enjoy this sunny weather.
423
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,485
What?
424
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,620
We just wanna give Cody
some quality time
425
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,189
with his new friends.
426
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,057
Just leave, please.
427
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,325
Sorry, Cody.
428
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,261
We don't like this
any more than you do,
429
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:17,497
but we cannot leave
until we play your video game.
430
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:18,965
That's true, yeah, yeah.
431
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,367
I'm gonna shoot a guy
in the butt.
432
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:21,834
Yeah.
433
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,103
Usually, for breakfast,
we have unsweetened granola,
434
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,206
but since it's
a special occasion--
435
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,707
Cody made some friends--
436
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,876
we're having
Cody's special breakfast.
437
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,078
He's so creative, he came up
with this himself.
438
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:34,947
It's Cocoa Puffs,
Count Chocula, and Sugar Smacks
439
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,849
with a scoop of ice cream
on top.
440
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,252
It is a whole lot of sugar,
but what the heck?
441
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,954
It's not every day
that Cody makes friends.
442
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,828
Whoa.
443
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,440
This is gonna be cool.
444
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,943
Hey!
445
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,045
Philip, can I talk to you
for a second?
446
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:11,584
- I hate to say this...
- I know.
447
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,186
But Cody's so shy.
448
00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:15,688
It's good for him to be friends
with someone so expressive
449
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,524
and theatrical, like Beavis.
450
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:18,991
Exactly.
451
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,160
It could really bring him
out of his shell.
452
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,596
He's an only child,
and it's just good for him
453
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,832
to be around an extrovert,
you know?
454
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:28,067
Oh, maybe he'll join
theater club.
455
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:34,774
Exactly.
Beavis is a good influence.
456
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,709
I am Cornholio!
457
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:40,713
I need TP for my bunghole.
458
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:45,117
- Cody needs this.
459
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:46,853
Mom, Dad,
you gotta do something.
460
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,288
We know, sweetie.
461
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:50,022
We know what we have to do.
462
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,758
We need to start listening
to you better
463
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:53,760
and respect your choice
of friends.
464
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,194
- What?
- Ooh!
465
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,899
- Hey, Beavis?
- Ah!
466
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,569
I just want you to know,
we hear you.
467
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,170
I'm Cornholio too.
468
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,506
And we're always here
if you and your friends
469
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,508
want to rap about TP
and bungholes
470
00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:11,678
or substance abuse
or just whatever.
471
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,514
Are you threatening me?
472
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,349
Not at all, man.
473
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:18,851
Boing.
- Boing-oing-oing.
474
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:21,754
Broccolini!
475
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,790
I have broccolini
in my bunghole.
476
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,462
I'm gonna go ahead
and borrow this.
477
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:32,098
See you later.
478
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,766
You will give me
all your broccolini!
479
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:35,234
Are your friends leaving?
480
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,270
Well, their parents
probably want them home
481
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:38,371
on Saturday morning.
482
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,906
I can't wait to meet them.
483
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,608
I bet they're really bunghole.
484
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:43,476
I need broccolini
for my bunghole.
485
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:44,544
Broccolini!
486
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:45,812
I knew he liked
that broccolini.
487
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,886
You will not disrespect
my bunghole!
488
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,948
Chirp.
34787
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