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00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:03,960
♪ MTV ♪
2
00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:32,815
The floor sucks.
3
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,473
Okay, we're running
a new promo campaign
4
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,692
for the new
ciabatta maple burger,
5
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:43,608
so we need somebody to stand
out in front in this costume
6
00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:46,698
and say,
"Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone."
7
00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:49,092
That's the dumbest thing
8
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:51,007
I ever saw.
- Oh, cool.
9
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:53,531
I wanna wear the hamburger--
10
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:55,490
head.
- Great, it fits.
11
00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:58,188
Now, get in the bathroom and
put the rest of the costume on.
12
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:01,235
Uh, okay.
13
00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:05,369
Um, sir?
14
00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:06,022
I wanted to wear
the hamburger--
15
00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:07,806
You keep mopping this floor.
16
00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:11,549
Okay, but, um, later, is it
okay if I wear the hamburger--
17
00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:14,204
Let's meet our team goals
today, all right?
18
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:16,467
Ugh, yeah, okay, yeah.
19
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,557
This sucks.
20
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:24,432
This sucks.
21
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,260
- Hey, look,
22
00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:28,000
it's, like, Hamburger Man.
23
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,220
Uh, welcome to, like,
24
00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:32,483
the Ciabatta Zone or something.
25
00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:34,311
Take my picture with him.
26
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:37,880
Uh, whoa, hi, baby.
27
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,361
- Now it's my turn.
- Ooh, yeah, baby.
28
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:43,190
Come to my Ciabatta Zone.
29
00:01:45,888 --> 00:01:46,845
Hey!
30
00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:51,198
Can we take a picture where
I'm sitting in your lap?
31
00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:53,243
Uh, yeah.
32
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:56,203
The Ciabatta Zone kicks ass.
33
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,379
- Okay, one more.
34
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,164
Look, I'm Mrs. Hamburger.
35
00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:07,257
Ooh, yeah.
36
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,130
This guy gets it.
37
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:12,958
♪ I'm about to pull up,
hit switch ♪
38
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:15,874
Boy,
when Post Malone smokes,
39
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,354
he smokes.
40
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:18,877
♪ Now I gotta resurface ♪
41
00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:23,447
And smokes and smokes.
42
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:26,798
Yeah,
he just smokes the bejesus
43
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:29,758
out of those cigarettes, yeah.
44
00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:32,021
When Post Malone
smokes a cigarette,
45
00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:34,763
that cigarette knows
it's been smoked.
46
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,594
If you're a cigarette
47
00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:41,161
and you see
Post Malone coming,
48
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,988
you can kiss
your butt goodbye.
49
00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,079
♪ With a warrant ♪
50
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,081
Pretty soon, he's gonna
have to have one of those
51
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,909
throat-voice box things,
52
00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:53,129
where you have a hole
in your throat.
53
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:54,391
Yeah, then he'll
probably sound like,
54
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,785
you know--
well, I mean,
55
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:58,700
maybe he'll probably
sound the same, you know?
56
00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:01,311
Just like this, you know?
57
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,269
♪ Flushin' something
down the toilet ♪
58
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,794
♪ Toilet ♪
59
00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:09,798
Uh, wait a minute,
60
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,278
maybe he's had one of those
all along.
61
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:13,845
Oh, yeah, yeah,
62
00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:15,760
that's why he's wearing
that turtleneck.
63
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,458
♪ And I been
waiting so long ♪
64
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,634
You know, I used to think
smoking was really cool
65
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,157
until you get that hole
in your throat,
66
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:22,854
but now
he's even made that cool.
67
00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:27,381
Yep.
68
00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:29,948
He kicks ass.
69
00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,950
But he also
gets tired really fast.
70
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,867
And that's why he sounds
all lazy when he sings.
71
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:41,830
He's like,
"Ugh, my back, ugh."
72
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,484
"You take it for a minute,
73
00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:45,573
"Roddy Ricch.
74
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:49,185
I am exhausted."
75
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:52,797
"I just need to sit down
76
00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:54,930
and have a cigarette, yeah."
77
00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:58,803
"Yeah, I've been
working real hard smoking.
78
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,371
I'm gonna have
a little smoke break here."
79
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,852
- Yup, the best time
80
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:06,071
to have a cigarette
is right after a cigarette.
81
00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:10,728
He's like--
"[sighs]
82
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:13,165
I'm glad we shot
this video in an IKEA."
83
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:17,039
"Plenty of places
to sit down and smoke."
84
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:21,304
♪ And I been
waiting so long ♪
85
00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,132
♪ Now I gotta resurface ♪
86
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:24,525
Look at that old guy
down at the bottom,
87
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,222
trying to weasel
into the party.
88
00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:31,227
Uh, I think that's,
like, his doctor.
89
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:33,664
He's trying to dance his way up
to Post Malone
90
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:37,146
to tell him he only
has six weeks to live.
91
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,801
Like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah,
hey, everybody, yeah.
92
00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:42,804
"Hey, Post, can I talk
to you for a minute?
93
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:44,849
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's kind of important."
94
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,724
Yeah, he's like,
95
00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:52,117
"Uh, Roddy Ricch,
can you tell Post Malone
96
00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:53,423
to come over here
for a minute?"
97
00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:56,905
"Post!
Post, the X-rays
98
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,036
"don't look good.
I need to talk to you
99
00:04:58,123 --> 00:04:58,863
right now."
100
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,041
Well, never mind.
He'll find out soon enough.
101
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,045
Yeah,
nothing we can do anyway.
102
00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:14,879
And then this other chick
came by, and she's all,
103
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,621
"What's up, Hamburger Man?"
104
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,231
Uh-huh.
105
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,582
And then her friend
gave me a hug,
106
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,975
and I think the friend
was a chick too.
107
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:26,761
But I can't really see too good
out of my lettuce.
108
00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:28,763
- That's great, Butt-Head.
109
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,808
Good for you.
110
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:33,420
And then this girl
accidentally sat on my hand,
111
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,770
like, with her butt.
112
00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:38,033
And she was only sitting
on the foam part,
113
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,252
but it kind of looked
like I got some.
114
00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:44,735
I'm glad you're having
such a good time, Butt-Head.
115
00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,694
- It's just too bad
116
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:49,784
that when I'm in the suit,
the chicks can't see my face,
117
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,046
or I bet they'd like me
even more.
118
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,050
Yeah, Butt-Head, um,
119
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,182
I just wanted to ask if
maybe sometime I could wear--
120
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:58,793
I'm gonna wear this suit
every day
121
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,708
until the end of time, Beavis.
122
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:03,580
I will never take it off.
123
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:06,017
Except sometimes,
124
00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:08,890
I will unzip it so the chicks
can see my Ciabatta Zone.
125
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,328
Yeah, I see.
126
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:13,590
- Yeah.
127
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,853
You see, my Ciabatta Zone
128
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,159
is actually my--
- I know
129
00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:18,421
what your Ciabatta Zone is,
Butt-Head.
130
00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:22,164
It's my wiener.
131
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,122
Yeah, yeah.
132
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:27,038
Well, it's time for the two
of us to get to work.
133
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:29,432
- Are we working today?
134
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:33,001
I was talking about me
and the costume, butthole.
135
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:35,525
Now, zip me up.
136
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:37,658
Eh, okay.
137
00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:42,227
Stay in school or something.
138
00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:45,187
See you in the Ciabatta Zone.
139
00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:53,630
Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone.
140
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,502
Don't do drugs--or something.
141
00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,417
- Hey, Butt-Head.
142
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,334
And look,
143
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,206
I made my own costume.
Check it out.
144
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,863
What the hell are you
supposed to be, dumbass?
145
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,517
- I'm, like, pizza.
146
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,042
You can't just stand
in front of Burger World
147
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:16,479
dressed as pizza.
148
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,220
Yes, I can.
149
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:20,527
Welcome to the pizza.
150
00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,746
Wait, um, the--the, um--
151
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,922
the Pizza World of Ciabatta--
152
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,750
what--wait, what is it again?
153
00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:32,234
Dude, it's 2021.
154
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,802
Imagine what life
is gonna be like in 2025.
155
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:39,110
"Where is--where--where--what
is Ryan at 40 gonna be doing
156
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,285
on a Tuesday?"
157
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,071
Wait, um, who's Ryan?
158
00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:45,813
Uh, he's Ryan.
159
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,162
- Hey, my name is Ryan.
- He's doing that thing
160
00:07:47,249 --> 00:07:48,555
where he talks about himself.
161
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,600
"What is Ryan gonna be
doing on a Tuesday?"
162
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,950
- You know, I think, um--
163
00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:54,778
Think I might start doing that,
you know?
164
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:57,433
I mean, I think Beavis
might do that, yeah.
165
00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,088
You know, in 2025,
I think Beavis is gonna be
166
00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:02,046
spanking his monkey
more than ever--
167
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:05,049
Yeah, on a Tuesday.
168
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,574
Yeah, and maybe
Wednesday, Thursday.
169
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,620
'Cause you know,
the day I get to--I mean,
170
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:13,057
the day Beavis gets tired
of spanking my--I mean,
171
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:16,060
the day Beavis gets tired
of spanking Beavis' monkey
172
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:19,020
then, um, you know,
he's just not Beavis anymore.
173
00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:23,764
SERHANT Studios?
174
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:27,071
No, I think
it's SERHANT SERHANT.
175
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:29,813
Isn't he the guy that
assassinated the president?
176
00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,817
You said "ass."
177
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,690
Yeah.
178
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:37,821
Yeah, I said it twice, actually.
179
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,956
SERHANT SERHANT ass-ass-inated
the president.
180
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,566
By 7:45.
181
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:46,743
Uh, I didn't know you knew
about history, Beavis.
182
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:51,574
Uh, mostly just gun stuff,
you know?
183
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,445
That's about it.
184
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,925
So I know we did
this daily routine video
185
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,232
a little while ago,
but my life has changed--
186
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,364
namely, I'm now a dad,
187
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,584
and I'm a CEO.
188
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,717
Whoa.
He's way more excited
189
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:06,110
about being a CEO
than he is about being a dad.
190
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:07,764
Let's go.
191
00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:09,200
Well, it's not his fault.
192
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:10,680
His baby sucks.
193
00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:16,033
Yeah, you know,
they're not all good, you know?
194
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,732
I mean, who needs dads anyway,
you know?
195
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,429
We don't.
196
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,083
We turned out just fine.
197
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:31,353
"It's not all serious here
at SERHANT SERHANT.
198
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,747
We like to have
a little fun too."
199
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,705
"You can't take yourself
too seriously in life,
200
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,272
you know?"
201
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:40,318
"Unless you're me,
Ryan SERHANT SERHANT,
202
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,756
two-time New York Douchebag
of the Year."
203
00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:48,762
Everybody here
has a story to tell,
204
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:51,503
and everyone here
is an important piece.
205
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,202
I hate Ryan.
206
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,858
Brand.
207
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,904
This is, like, pepperoni,
208
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,950
and this is
a sausage or something,
209
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,735
and the cone is something else
they put on pizza.
210
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,302
I don't know,
it's, like, fruit or something.
211
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,262
Welcome Ciabatta Pizza.
212
00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:14,526
Yeah, uh,
we don't have any change.
213
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,050
Yeah, this sucks.
214
00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:19,836
Pizza sucks.
Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone.
215
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,883
Hey, man, did you touch
Angela Dattilo's butt yesterday
216
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,536
with that dumbass glove?
217
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,191
Uh, yeah, I sure did.
218
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:32,109
Well, her boyfriend's on his
way here to kick your ass.
219
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,763
Uh,
220
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,069
really?
221
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,375
Hmm.
222
00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:40,074
Welcome to Pizza.
Do you know what a zone is?
223
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,340
Uh, Beavis,
224
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:48,256
I've decided to let you
wear the hamburger costume.
225
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:50,040
- Oh, really, Butt-Head?
226
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:53,000
You're gonna let me wear
the hamburger, for real?
227
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,436
Yes, Beavis.
228
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:57,657
I know you've wanted this
for a long time.
229
00:10:57,744 --> 00:11:00,355
Now hurry up and put it on
as fast as you can
230
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:01,617
before I change my mind.
231
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,575
Whoa.
Yeah, yeah.
232
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,796
Yeah, this is pretty cool, yeah.
233
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,364
I'm in the Ciabatto Zone.
234
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:11,061
Keep it on for a long time.
235
00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:16,066
♪ Ciabatta ♪
- Hey, you.
236
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:17,677
Where's that Hamburger Man?
237
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,549
He's right that way, sir.
238
00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:22,551
Hey, Hamburger Man!
239
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:23,683
Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone.
240
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:24,945
Touch her butt, man?
241
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:26,511
- Wanna take a picture?
242
00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:27,643
Wait--hey, wait a minute.
243
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,036
I think he's kicking my ass.
244
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,820
- This is what you get.
- Butt-Head, help.
245
00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:33,562
I can't see.
Is that a chick?
246
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:34,868
- Hey, cut it out!
247
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,173
Hey!
Ow.
248
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,609
Ow!
249
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,743
You wanted
to be the hamburger,
250
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,310
and I wanted to see you
get your ass kicked.
251
00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:45,226
Everyone wins.
252
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,923
Pretty cool, yeah.
253
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,229
It was a great day.
254
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,579
It sure was, yeah,
255
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,276
and some guy said he's gonna
send the video to WorldStar.
256
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,671
Not too bad, yeah.
257
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:58,021
Not bad at all.
258
00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:59,936
I miss when this couch
had cushions though, you know?
259
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,896
I'll kick your ass
about that another time,
260
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:05,594
Beavis.
For now, let's just
261
00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,248
enjoy this moment.
262
00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:28,356
So there I was,
trapped behind enemy lines,
263
00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,575
pinned down
in a Korean farmhouse
264
00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:33,665
by 50 Commie soldiers--
265
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:38,235
just me and three of my
brothers in the Marine Corps,
266
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:41,673
and let's not forget
a brave Korean farmer
267
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,589
by the name of Hon-yong.
268
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:53,163
Hon-yong, I don't know
who fixed this for you
269
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,949
the last time, but oh, boy--
270
00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:58,647
I ought to be able
to just clean out the P trap
271
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,214
and the pop-out drain,
272
00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:03,695
but this one here is
a 1 1/2 inch galvanized,
273
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:07,612
and this one--well,
that there is metric.
274
00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:10,006
Well, that's one way to do it.
275
00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:12,313
- I'm running out of ammo!
- There's more of them coming!
276
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,579
- Yeah, I bet the last guy
277
00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:19,799
told you he could
save you a few won
278
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,627
if you just used whatever
he had in the truck.
279
00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:26,414
Well, I always say
there's nothing more expensive
280
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,633
than saving a little money
on home maintenance.
281
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,942
Okay, Hon-yong, where's
the main water shutoff
282
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,465
to the house?
283
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,946
Hon-yong?
284
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,125
Well, it ought to be
by the water heater--
285
00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:43,213
usually is.
286
00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:49,437
And that's exactly
where it was.
287
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:52,396
But I bet you wanna hear
the rest of the story--
288
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:54,703
how the idiot
who fixed that sink
289
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:58,315
screwed up the T and P valve
on the water heater.
290
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,883
If Hon-yong
wasn't already dead,
291
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:03,712
he could've been
seriously burned.
292
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:07,542
But that's a tale for the next
"Tom Anderson's War Stories."
293
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:34,525
$5-worth on pump two, please.
294
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:38,486
There's no car at pump two.
295
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:40,096
What?
296
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,795
Oh, yeah, yeah.
297
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,623
Yeah, we forgot the car.
298
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:49,714
Uh, how'd we get here then?
299
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:52,369
Uh, I think
we walked or something.
300
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:54,589
- Oh, yeah.
301
00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:57,722
It just shows to go you--
302
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,724
you wanna buy a gas,
you gotta bring the car,
303
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,901
you know what I'm saying?
304
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:04,425
Well, let's go get the car.
305
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:09,604
Uh, wait a second.
The car needs gas, Butt-Head.
306
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:12,824
Uh, oh, yeah.
307
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,783
Better go back
to the gas station.
308
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:20,702
Hi, you guys have walked by
six times.
309
00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:23,009
Are you interested
in a career at Amatron?
310
00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:26,099
Uh, what?
311
00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:28,275
We're opening a new
Amatron fulfillment center
312
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,711
warehouse,
right here in Highland,
313
00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:32,105
and we're hiring
warehouse associates.
314
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,368
Eh, I don't know.
315
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:37,327
It kind of sounds like a job.
316
00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:39,416
The starting pay
is $18 an hour.
317
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:42,115
This job's
gonna take an hour?
318
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:43,551
- Ah, forget it.
319
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:48,643
- Plus full benefits.
- Whoa, benefits?
320
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:52,995
Beavis, did you hear that?
She wants to give us benefits--
321
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:55,215
like, friends with benefits.
322
00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:59,349
- Whoa.
- A job with benefits?
323
00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:01,786
That's like friends
with benefits,
324
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:04,398
but we don't have to pretend
to be someone's friend.
325
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:06,139
- Yeah, we just have to pretend
326
00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:07,488
to do a job.
327
00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,533
Yeah.
328
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,058
We'll take it, ma'am.
329
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:13,407
Yeah,
we could do the benefits
330
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:15,104
in the back seat of our car
if you want.
331
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,151
Oh, wait a minute.
332
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:19,674
We forgot the car.
333
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:26,202
Welcome to our newest
Amatron fulfillment center.
334
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,509
We use technology
to make our workers
335
00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,424
as productive as they can be.
336
00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:33,166
That sucks.
337
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:34,645
Here's how it works.
338
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:36,299
This monitor shows
that a customer ordered
339
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:37,648
a coffee maker.
340
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:40,434
One of our fully autonomous
warehouse robots
341
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:43,480
will bring you the item.
- Uh-huh.
342
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,047
So you take the item
from the robot,
343
00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:46,396
put it in the box,
344
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:48,094
and put it
on the conveyor belt.
345
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:50,661
Any questions?
- Uh,
346
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:53,012
do we get our benefits
from the robots?
347
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,666
Yeah, that would be cool.
348
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:58,539
It's all advanced, yeah.
349
00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,410
If you have questions
about your compensation,
350
00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:02,847
you can talk
to our HR rep, Richard.
351
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:06,199
Um, we gotta get our benefits
from that guy?
352
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:08,592
- That sucks.
353
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,681
- Oh, well.
354
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,379
I guess you gotta work
your way up, you know,
355
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:13,815
starting at the bottom.
356
00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:18,254
Entry-level.
357
00:17:18,341 --> 00:17:22,128
Looks like only the boss
gets to score with the robot.
358
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:23,781
The working man's blues.
359
00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:27,829
Uh,
360
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:31,267
look at that
long, thin thing on TV.
361
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,052
I think it's, like,
a light bulb or something.
362
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,231
Whoa, look!
Look at that.
363
00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:40,581
Uh, oh, yeah,
364
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,931
cool.
365
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:45,977
It's, like, nacho cheese
in a spray can.
366
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,807
Whoa.
367
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,766
This rules.
368
00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,724
Oh, and look
what's on this one.
369
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,254
That guy over there
can keep his benefits.
370
00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:03,604
This kicks ass.
371
00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:17,139
More.
372
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:19,402
We're here at
Amatron's incredible
373
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:21,143
warehouse of the future,
374
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:23,014
right here in Highland, Texas.
375
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,321
Tell us, how does it work?
376
00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:28,324
Our inventory robots work
by machine learning.
377
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:30,761
They bring inventory
where it's needed
378
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:33,242
before anyone
even knows they need it.
379
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,070
If a warehouse associate is,
380
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,854
say, shipping
a lot of screwdrivers,
381
00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:40,467
the robots will learn
to bring him more screwdrivers.
382
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:43,165
If the associate
is shipping more computers,
383
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,254
the robot will bring him
more computers.
384
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,560
We don't like to say
it's idiot-proof,
385
00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:50,390
but let's just say we bet
the whole company on it.
386
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,482
This is the life, Beavis.
387
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:57,353
Yeah.
388
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,181
We should've gotten jobs
a long time ago.
389
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:03,577
Well, I'm almost full.
390
00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:05,579
What do you say we eat
a couple more cans,
391
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:08,799
score with that guy,
and knock off for the day?
392
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:11,193
It sounds like a plan.
393
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,803
- Uh,
394
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:15,110
what's that noise?
395
00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:21,769
- Ah!
- Ah, ow!
396
00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,814
Butt-Head, help!
397
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,599
I can't reach the cheese.
398
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:26,817
Ah!
399
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,304
It really was the warehouse
of the future.
400
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:38,699
The technology is amazing.
401
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:40,831
They have cheese in a can
402
00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:44,661
and fire--very advanced.
403
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:47,403
What'll those dumbasses
think of next?
404
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:48,926
- Probably something
405
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:50,928
that sucks, yeah.
406
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:22,395
Chirp.
28869
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