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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:03,960 ♪ MTV ♪ 2 00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:28,680 Butt-Head, it's my turn to ride the scooter. 3 00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:32,554 We don't take turns, Beavis. We're not girls. 4 00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:37,167 Oh, yeah, I forgot. Taking turns sucks. 5 00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:40,910 Check it out, Beavis. 6 00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:42,912 Those dudes have beers. 7 00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:45,088 Let's go party with them. 8 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,698 I don't know, Butt-Head. 9 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:49,049 I think you have to be, like, an American or something 10 00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,659 to go in there. 11 00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:54,315 Uh, don't worry, dumbass. We can blend in. 12 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,579 Hold on there, boys. 13 00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:59,755 This here's the Legion Hall, 14 00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:03,193 and we're having a special get-together for Flag Day. 15 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,500 Service members only. 16 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:09,460 Uh, we're members. 17 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:12,420 Yeah, yeah, we're from America. 18 00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:15,684 Well, I'm glad to hear it, but I'm talking about people 19 00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:18,469 who laid it all on the line for this great country. 20 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:21,820 Were you in the service? - Uh, yeah. 21 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:24,040 We did, like, service. 22 00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,434 Thank you, drive through. 23 00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:29,132 Would you like the combo for a dollar more? 24 00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:31,482 You boys wore the uniform? 25 00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:33,267 Yeah, we had to wear a uniform. 26 00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,312 There was a hat and everything. 27 00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:37,575 It was, like, a long time ago, 28 00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:40,100 but I remember that the training sucked, 29 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:41,536 and it was always hot, 30 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:43,059 and you never knew when a bunch of guys 31 00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:45,061 would be all on your ass. 32 00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:47,324 Yeah, there was one time when the shake machine-- 33 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,978 Enough said, boys. 34 00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:52,329 Save the war stories for your fellow servicemen. 35 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,375 Come on in, and enjoy the company. 36 00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:56,681 - Kickass. - Oh, yeah. 37 00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:02,774 Well, I tell you, there's no better way 38 00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:06,038 to celebrate Flag Day than with a couple of cold ones. 39 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,388 Give me another beer. 40 00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:10,304 Yeah, more of these nuts too. 41 00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:13,568 Say, have y'all met Belvis and Bunhowzen here? 42 00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:18,747 They served in--I guess it'd be the Desert Storm? 43 00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,488 Yeah, like I was saying, there's that one time 44 00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:21,924 the shake machine-- 45 00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,795 Did Gilmore tell you the story 46 00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:26,668 about how he captured that there flag in Vietnam? 47 00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:30,019 Uh, no. 48 00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:33,762 Well, we were hoofing it through that godforsaken jungle 49 00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:36,504 when, all of a sudden, the commies opened fire. 50 00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:40,464 Fire, fire, fire! 51 00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,379 You're still feeling it, ain't ya? 52 00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:45,687 Yeah, he feels it all the time. 53 00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:49,734 Yeah, yeah, yeah, boing! 54 00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:53,085 I got a buddy who was in Desert Storm. 55 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,175 What battalion were you in? 56 00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:57,786 - Uh... - What? 57 00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,963 I said, what battalion were you in? 58 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,313 What's your battalion number, boys? 59 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,923 Uh... 60 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,969 69. 61 00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:10,407 Yeah, that's it. 62 00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:12,714 The Fighting 69th. 63 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:15,456 Oh, you guys are the real deal. 64 00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:17,153 Must have seen a lot of action. 65 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,418 Yeah, we like action. 66 00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,551 Well, when you're in the 69, 67 00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:26,162 you're gonna get plenty of action when it's going down. 68 00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:30,427 Oh, boy, yeah. 69 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,908 They could lick anybody. 70 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:38,435 I heard in Iraq, the 69 saw action 71 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,611 from both sides at once. 72 00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,352 Yeah, that's why they call it that. 73 00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,702 Here, I'll draw you a picture. 74 00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,574 Butt-Head explained it to me once. 75 00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,837 See, the bottom of the six is the butt. 76 00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:52,362 And then the nine is, like, the nads or something. 77 00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:53,363 I don't know. 78 00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:04,113 You can fool those old men in there, 79 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,593 but you can't fool me. 80 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,073 You were never in the 69th. 81 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,771 You guys are lying. 82 00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:12,339 Uh, okay. 83 00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:14,297 And I know why. 84 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,951 You're CIA. 85 00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,866 Uh, what's that? 86 00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:20,477 The C who? 87 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,479 I get it. 88 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,742 You're still keeping your cover, even now. 89 00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:26,744 Cool, come on, drinks on me. 90 00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:29,269 If anybody's earned it, it's you two. 91 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:31,880 Whoa, serving rocks. 92 00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:37,973 So what'd you guys do, covert ops, 93 00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,670 military intelligence? 94 00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:42,194 Uh, probably intelligence. 95 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,849 It's, like, one of our specialties. 96 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,982 Yeah, there was this one time when the shake machine-- 97 00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:48,636 Belvis, Bunhowzen, 98 00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:51,291 I think I speak for everyone when I say, 99 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,597 it'd be a real honor to have you be part 100 00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,817 of our Flag Day ceremony 101 00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:59,821 and raise Old Glory up on the pole out there. 102 00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:02,563 Raise. 103 00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:04,652 Pole. 104 00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:06,480 Well, thank you. 105 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:10,310 This beauty dates back to the Spanish-American War. 106 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:14,662 She's a bona fide piece of American history. 107 00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:16,838 We'll wait outside, give y'all some time 108 00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,709 to get ready and whatnot. 109 00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:21,538 - Let's do it, boys. - Yes, sir. 110 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,932 History sucks. 111 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,195 - Yeah, really. 112 00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:32,288 Oh, I'm looking forward to watching this video. 113 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:36,379 Fiat presents Ava Max, "Torn." 114 00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:39,164 - Okay. 115 00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:41,558 ♪ Li-li-light away ♪ 116 00:05:41,645 --> 00:05:43,647 ♪ But, but then you give me fireworks ♪ 117 00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:46,607 How come they keep showing this car? 118 00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:49,871 Well, Beavis, that's because it's the Fiat 500X, 119 00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,439 the best mid-sized Sedan on the market today. 120 00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,137 Really? 121 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:57,879 That's right, Beavis. 122 00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,837 I guess it looks pretty cool, you know, 123 00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:01,535 but it seems like a car like that, 124 00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:02,753 like, a four-door, wouldn't have a whole lot 125 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,538 of pickup, you know, at the lights. 126 00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:08,106 That's where you're wrong, Beavis, stupid and wrong. 127 00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:11,240 The Fiat's 1.3 liter multi-air turbo engine 128 00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:12,720 comes standard and is equipped 129 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:15,636 with fuel saving engine stop-start technology, 130 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:20,510 offering 177 horsepower to dominate the road ahead. 131 00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:22,947 Wow, really? That sounds amazing! 132 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:27,169 But it is a little hard to believe, you know? 133 00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:32,435 Well, the Fiat 500X will make a believer out of you, dumbass. 134 00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,872 And you know what's even more shocking, Beavis? 135 00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:37,484 You won't have sticker shock. 136 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,137 I don't know what that is, 137 00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:42,576 so I probably won't have it anyway. 138 00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:44,273 Damn it, Beavis. 139 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,144 Sticker shock means, like, it's super expensive. 140 00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:49,017 And the Fiat 500X is very affordable. 141 00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:54,326 But it's probably, like, made in some foreign country, 142 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,590 like over in Europe or something. 143 00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,069 Most of the parts are made right here 144 00:06:58,156 --> 00:06:59,767 in the good old USA, 145 00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:02,683 providing jobs to people like you and me. 146 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:07,644 What, like you and me? We don't even have jobs. 147 00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:10,647 No, we don't, and we never will. 148 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:13,955 But if we did, we'd be working on the Fiat 500X, 149 00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:16,479 which "Car and Driver" recently called 150 00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:19,743 "the ultimate thrill ride." 151 00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:23,486 Could you see yourself driving this car, Beavis? 152 00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:26,228 What does this car have to offer someone like me, 153 00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:29,187 who had his license suspended? 154 00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:32,364 Uh, it offers you nothing. 155 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,497 Fiat doesn't want you. 156 00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:36,717 The Fiat is for winners only. 157 00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:39,720 Do you see yourself with a bus pass, 158 00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,896 while I bang your mom in the back seat 159 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:46,466 of the Fiat 500X, with its roomy interior. 160 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:49,251 Again, just like your mom. 161 00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,212 Shut up, Butt-Head. 162 00:07:54,299 --> 00:07:57,215 Uh, hey, Beavis. 163 00:07:57,302 --> 00:07:58,826 Look outside and check and see 164 00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,828 if there's a free Fiat out there. 165 00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,789 Why would Fiat give you a free car? 166 00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:08,488 Just go look. 167 00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:12,666 See if you see a Fiat 500X. 168 00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,363 I don't see anything, Butt-Head. 169 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,800 Uh, are you sure? 170 00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:20,108 Yep, no cars out here at all. 171 00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:23,154 Damn it, never mind. 172 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:25,287 Fiats suck. 173 00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,770 It's a tiny crap wagon. 174 00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,426 You'd never fit in one anyway, Butt-Head, 175 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,516 'cause you're too fat. 176 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:39,344 Yeah. 177 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:49,267 Dang it, where are those two boys? 178 00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,705 They probably wanted their speech to be just so. 179 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:55,796 Ah, they're fightin' men, not talking men. 180 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:58,712 Huh, well, that's mighty nice of 'em. 181 00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:06,720 Hey, Butt-Head, wasn't there, like, 182 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:09,810 something we were gonna do or something? 183 00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:12,290 Uh, oh, yeah. 184 00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:14,554 I think we were gonna, like, hang a flag 185 00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,773 on a pole thing or something. 186 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:19,689 Oh, yeah, yeah, where'd the flag go? 187 00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,691 Uh... 188 00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:24,825 it's gotta be around here somewhere. 189 00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:29,177 - Oh, there it is. - Oh, yeah, that's it. 190 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,701 Old Glory. 191 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,703 ♪ Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun-dun ♪ 192 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,273 Oh, here they come. 193 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,887 You know, I like this bar, Butt-Head. 194 00:09:43,974 --> 00:09:45,976 People are really nice here, you know? 195 00:09:46,063 --> 00:09:49,980 Yeah, they're, like, all American and stuff. 196 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,026 Yep. 197 00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:54,376 - God damn it. - What the hell? 198 00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:57,553 - Dear God. - You gotta be kidding me. 199 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,469 Did they just fly the Vietcong flag 200 00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:02,776 over the American Legion Hall? 201 00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:05,126 Can you, like, get us some more beer now? 202 00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,476 Yeah, yeah, yeah, considering we just put 203 00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:08,738 your flag up for free. 204 00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:11,175 - Stolen valor! - God dang it! 205 00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:13,003 I'll kick your ass. 206 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:15,049 This one's for Ho Chi Minh, 207 00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:18,705 you son of a bitchin' bastard. 208 00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:21,011 Hey, Butt-Head. 209 00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:23,927 Since we're on this flagpole now, 210 00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:27,061 I guess that means, like, we're Americans. 211 00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:29,063 Uh... 212 00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,934 I guess we are. 213 00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:37,201 I guess you had to be in the Army to join that place. 214 00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,769 Probably. 215 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:59,049 Um, I don't think it's gonna happen, Butt-Head. 216 00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,443 Just be patient, Beavis. 217 00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,401 It'll happen. 218 00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,360 Come on, Butt-Head. We've been waiting too long. 219 00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:07,405 Let's go--whoa! Whoa, it's happening. 220 00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:09,538 It's really happening. 221 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:12,410 I told you so, Beavis. 222 00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,804 That teddy bear's taking a dump. 223 00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:17,415 Worth the wait. 224 00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:18,852 Plop. 225 00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:20,331 Hey. 226 00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:21,593 Is that your dog? 227 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,466 Uh, no. 228 00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:26,598 That was a dog? 229 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:30,515 Typical, these rich jerks pay $5,000 for a designer dog. 230 00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:32,300 Then they don't pick up after it. 231 00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:36,217 Whoa, $5,000? 232 00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,394 Yeah, they crossbreed two types of dogs. 233 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,309 Then they sell the puppies for thousands 234 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,790 while regular dogs rot in the pound. 235 00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:45,966 Beavis, did you hear that? 236 00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:48,925 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he said "pound." 237 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:51,580 No, dumbass, that guy said if we can get a dog 238 00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,234 to score with another dog, 239 00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:55,889 people will give us money for the dog babies. 240 00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,805 Whoa, really? That's cool. 241 00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:01,372 Beavis, we must begin breeding. 242 00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:06,813 Breeding means score. 243 00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:12,296 I saw a dog around here yesterday. 244 00:12:12,383 --> 00:12:14,559 Was it in a tree or something? 245 00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:18,172 Whoa, there it is. 246 00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:23,917 I thought that was, like, a bear or something. 247 00:12:24,004 --> 00:12:26,223 Well, it's a dog now. 248 00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:28,922 As long as it's got four legs and a schlong, 249 00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:32,360 it's gonna score until we get $5,000. 250 00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:34,971 Lucky bastard. 251 00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:36,930 Get him, Beavis. 252 00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:41,282 Hey there, doggie. 253 00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:42,718 Good boy or something. 254 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,807 Who's a good--ow! 255 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,244 Ahh, bad dog! Damn it! 256 00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:49,507 Son of a bitch, ahh! Butt-Head, help me! 257 00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,118 Ahh, Butt-Head, help! 258 00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:52,859 Damn it, Beavis, don't hurt its schlong. 259 00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:56,514 - I'll kick your ass! - He needs it to score. 260 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:59,213 Damn it, ahh! 261 00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:03,434 We got him where we want him, Beavis. 262 00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:05,872 Now get in there. 263 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,482 I don't know, Butt-Head. 264 00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:09,614 He's kind of, like, mad or something. 265 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,225 He's not mad. 266 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:12,835 He just wants us to take him to the park, 267 00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:16,143 so he can, like, get busy. 268 00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:19,581 Really? 'Cause he seems kind of mad. 269 00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:22,279 Let me see. 270 00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,499 Ow, ahh! 271 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:28,111 Okay, Beavis, get in there and gain his trust. 272 00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:30,505 Butthole, ahh! 273 00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,550 You better not be hurting its schlong in there. 274 00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:35,379 Ahh, ahh! 275 00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:38,165 We're gonna be millionaires. 276 00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:45,259 Damn it, Beavis, keep him under control. 277 00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:48,784 He's gonna scare off all the hot dog chicks. 278 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:52,266 Quiet down, boy. You know what I'm saying? 279 00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:54,703 Good boy. 280 00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:59,926 Uh, hello lady dogs. 281 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:02,450 How do we make our dog, like, want to score? 282 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:04,582 Our dog is cool, Beavis. 283 00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:07,803 It wants to score all the time like a normal person. 284 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,023 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, me too. 285 00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,981 We taught him well. 286 00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:15,289 We need to find, like, the perfect chick dog, 287 00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:18,640 and then, like, let nature take its course. 288 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:24,733 So which dog should our dog score with? 289 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:30,826 Uh, too dirty. 290 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:34,308 Looks like it's made out of nut sack. 291 00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:39,443 Uh, that one will, like, scare his boner off. 292 00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:41,010 Aw, that one seems nice. 293 00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:42,490 She's got a nice face, you know. 294 00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:46,798 We want him to score with it, not marry it. 295 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,888 That one's got nice hair. 296 00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:54,545 Uh, I think she's, like, taken or something. 297 00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:01,030 - Whoa. - Ooh, yeah. 298 00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,076 That's what I'm talking about. 299 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,860 That dog is hot. 300 00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:08,820 It's like boi-oi-oi-oing! 301 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:12,085 Come to Butt-Head's dog. 302 00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:14,870 Well, polish up your dog schlong 303 00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:18,395 because you're about to score. 304 00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:19,875 Hey, best pal-y. I'm Ali. 305 00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:22,095 And you may remember me from such things 306 00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:23,966 as covering my car in blue AstroTurf. 307 00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:26,229 Well, as I've been driving my fake grass around, 308 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,014 I couldn't help but think, fake is good, 309 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:30,277 but living is more outrageous. 310 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:33,410 Can I turn my car into a giant Chia Pet. 311 00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:37,110 Uh, oh, boy. 312 00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,287 Wow. 313 00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:44,595 You think this girl ever, like, gets tired of herself? 314 00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:48,338 No, 'cause I think other people being tired of her 315 00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:50,340 gives her energy. 316 00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:53,343 She, like, feeds off of it. 317 00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:55,258 This is a car-pet, but I want to cultivate 318 00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:56,999 a lush, growing car-den. 319 00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,088 She's trying to, like, be entertaining 320 00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:02,135 with every single word she says. 321 00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:06,182 She just never talks in a normal voice or a normal way. 322 00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:11,840 It's like this entire video is one long sentence. 323 00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:16,453 Yeah, life sentence, I tell ya. 324 00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:20,327 I bet she's, like, really difficult to watch. 325 00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:25,071 Yeah, yeah, uh, we are watching her, Butt-Head. 326 00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:28,030 And it is difficult. I was right. 327 00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:32,078 And, of course, into vans that you rent 328 00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:33,818 and drive Lyft around. 329 00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:36,386 She's quirky. 330 00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:39,346 I'm glad I'm not quirky. 331 00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:41,348 Me too. 332 00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:44,829 I have no quirks, and I'm happy about it. 333 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:48,790 I mean, I still sniff glue sometimes, 334 00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,400 but that's not really a quirk, you know. 335 00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:53,577 It's more like, you know, an addiction. 336 00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:55,797 Still been too busy coming up with dumb ideas 337 00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:57,842 and then executing them. 338 00:16:57,929 --> 00:17:00,584 I don't know how she lives with herself, really. 339 00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:05,154 Uh, yeah, I think, in between every shot, 340 00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:07,722 she sleeps for like 22 hours. 341 00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:09,419 Oh, yeah, yeah. 342 00:17:09,506 --> 00:17:12,205 I got 30 pounds of chia, and I thought, 343 00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:14,772 that might be too much, so I made it 60 pounds 344 00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:16,122 just to be sure it's too much. 345 00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:17,819 Like, your mouth works, ma'am. 346 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:21,214 You can stop testing it. 347 00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:23,042 One thing I'll say about this is, 348 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:27,002 it makes me glad that I never do projects. 349 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:29,613 Accomplishment sucks. 350 00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,791 Focus on the car. 351 00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:37,230 I'm covering this car with my need for attention. 352 00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:42,757 Is there a way to, like, turn down her personality? 353 00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:45,455 Like on the TV, you know? 354 00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:49,546 Uh, maybe in, like, advanced settings 355 00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:53,637 under, like, motion blur. 356 00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:56,945 It's gonna take three weeks to get my ID, 357 00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:59,295 so subscribe and stay tuned because I'm sure 358 00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:00,992 I'll show you how stupid I look in the final picture 359 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,211 in a future video. 360 00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:03,778 What an asshole. 361 00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:12,787 Wow, I've never heard you say that, Butt-Head. 362 00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:15,572 I've never needed to say it before. 363 00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:18,314 And this time, it needed to be said. 364 00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:26,017 You know, when they say, like, the internet is bad, 365 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,237 like, bad for mankind, 366 00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:31,501 they mean this. 367 00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,721 You might get diar-chia. 368 00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,811 Ooh, yeah, yeah. 369 00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:38,639 That dog's got it in all the right places. 370 00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,815 Yeah. 371 00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:42,904 Uh, dog? 372 00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:45,080 We have found your dog chick. 373 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,604 And now you must score. 374 00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:53,306 You know, I wish a dog would make me score. 375 00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:55,308 That would be cool, but then, like, 376 00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:57,136 the dog would get all the money. 377 00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:59,660 So what? I still scored. 378 00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:01,705 Everything's not always about money, Butt-Head. 379 00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:03,620 If your job is scoring, 380 00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:06,536 you'll never work a day in your life. 381 00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:08,103 There she is, boy. 382 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,278 Now remember everything we told you. 383 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,324 This is where it all pays off. 384 00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,369 Go! 385 00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:16,807 Uh... 386 00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,853 where'd he go? 387 00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,075 Whoa, he's scoring. 388 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,861 Yeah, yeah, look at him go. 389 00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:31,866 Butt-Head, are they supposed to be biting 390 00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,737 and scratching so much? 391 00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,826 It doesn't look that fun. 392 00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:38,264 Well, some people don't enjoy scoring, Beavis. 393 00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:40,657 Maybe it's just not your thing. 394 00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:42,746 No, no, no, I mean, it looks cool. 395 00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,183 I just--you know. 396 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:46,272 No, no, it's okay, Beavis. 397 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,317 Maybe you're just not old enough. 398 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:49,927 Don't let anyone pressure you into something 399 00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:51,190 you're not ready for. 400 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:52,582 Shut up, Butt-Head! Shut up. 401 00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:56,412 I'm really into it. Yeah, get it. 402 00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:57,761 Get off of him! 403 00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:02,157 Come on, Rufus. You poor boy. 404 00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:03,898 I'm taking you right to the vet! 405 00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:07,075 Hey, you've got, like, half our dog babies in there. 406 00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,816 Yeah, our dog scored. 407 00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:11,688 And that's where dog babies come from or something. 408 00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,777 Hey. 409 00:20:13,864 --> 00:20:17,346 Did I hear him say that his dog was, like, a boy? 410 00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:22,133 Uh, oh, yeah. I think he did. 411 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,702 Then who's gonna have the puppies? 412 00:20:28,052 --> 00:20:30,838 That dumbass took the wrong dog. 413 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,066 It's dark. 414 00:21:10,878 --> 00:21:12,271 Chirp. 29653

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