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1
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,291
来来来，发财里边请，发财里边请，来来
2
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:17,333
多赌多赢，有赌必赢，发财里边请
3
00:01:18,041 --> 00:01:19,791
多赌多赢…赌得多赢得多
4
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,250
我不能再赌了
5
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:29,666
最后一把
6
00:01:32,958 --> 00:01:35,166
我怎么能再赌呢？
7
00:01:37,708 --> 00:01:39,583
赌就赌吧，管它的
8
00:01:40,375 --> 00:01:43,541
买定离手，开！
9
00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:45,833
葫芦葫芦鸡呀
10
00:01:55,541 --> 00:01:57,583
姑娘，头晕呀？ 到那边歇会去
11
00:01:57,916 --> 00:02:00,083
闭上你的乌鸦咀，你才头晕呢
12
00:02:00,458 --> 00:02:01,333
我现在下注
13
00:02:01,375 --> 00:02:02,958
你说我周吉的头值多少两？
14
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:07,000
周家的掌上明珠，论斤秤也值五百两
15
00:02:07,041 --> 00:02:08,750
是你说的，五百两
16
00:02:08,791 --> 00:02:10,041
我买鸡！开呀！
17
00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:11,875
快…下注
18
00:02:12,291 --> 00:02:13,541
开呀
19
00:02:13,583 --> 00:02:14,791
鸡！鸡！鸡！
20
00:02:18,041 --> 00:02:19,125
发财啦
21
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:24,541
人家隔壁开鸡，我们这还没开呢
22
00:02:29,125 --> 00:02:29,875
开！
23
00:02:30,375 --> 00:02:31,666
金钱，葫芦，虾
24
00:02:32,791 --> 00:02:34,000
鸡全都冬眠去啦？！
25
00:02:34,791 --> 00:02:37,083
请你在这张欠单上画个押
26
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:38,666
我会向你老妈要钱的
27
00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,500
五百两？
28
00:02:41,708 --> 00:02:44,458
对，我的头是值五百两
29
00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:46,750
可是我没说买那么多
30
00:02:48,958 --> 00:02:50,000
这样啦，先买十两吧
31
00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:55,708
赏给伙计们喝茶，不少了
32
00:02:58,666 --> 00:03:02,416
周姑娘，不把这帐还了你就休想走出这个大门
33
00:03:03,666 --> 00:03:07,458
开玩笑？你们知不知道我大哥是谁吗？
34
00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:14,708
通爷！
35
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,083
这边
36
00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:19,208
哦…这边
37
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:20,250
今天这么早
38
00:03:20,291 --> 00:03:23,625
通爷，三缺一
39
00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:25,791
睡醒了总得打扮打扮嘛
40
00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:27,625
用力扇，好热呀
41
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:28,750
是…是
42
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,375
你大哥是小霸王周通
43
00:03:30,916 --> 00:03:33,250
洛阳恶人之首，我知道
44
00:03:33,541 --> 00:03:37,333
你看到你大哥的时候，恐怕变肉饼罗
45
00:03:38,958 --> 00:03:41,916
我跟你并了…
46
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,333
小心暗器！
47
00:03:47,291 --> 00:03:50,083
你拿青蛙当低押品？
48
00:03:50,125 --> 00:03:54,250
土包子，这一只是龙凤胎的青蛙
49
00:03:54,291 --> 00:03:56,083
我带一只，我大哥带一只
50
00:03:56,333 --> 00:03:59,666
只要我一捏，我大哥那一只就会“咯咯”地叫！
51
00:03:59,958 --> 00:04:01,333
那他就会来救我
52
00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:03,875
这只称为───
53
00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:05,708
传呼蛙
54
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,333
究竟那只在叫？
55
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:11,708
是呀，那只？
56
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:12,875
你还在用传呼蛙？
57
00:04:12,916 --> 00:04:14,541
为什么不用震蛙？
58
00:04:14,583 --> 00:04:15,625
震蛙？！
59
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:21,541
它不但会叫会震，超薄轻巧
60
00:04:21,833 --> 00:04:24,291
大小适中，携带方便
61
00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:27,750
而且，二十四个时辰不喂它，接收还是那么强
62
00:04:28,166 --> 00:04:29,625
很响亮的
63
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:33,750
它是一只忠心耿耿
64
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,458
搭通天地线铁胆无敌的优质传呼蛙
65
00:04:40,833 --> 00:04:43,750
一定是我妹妹传呼我，叫我去动物园看熊猫
66
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:51,333
我这么漂亮贤淑，你们也舍得打？
67
00:04:55,666 --> 00:04:57,541
钱我是没有，不过这儿还有一点看头
68
00:04:58,291 --> 00:05:00,833
把我卖给怡红院替你们还债好了
69
00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:02,708
我早就有这个念头
70
00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:06,125
聪明，怡红院大门等，不见不散
71
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:08,625
你想溜？
72
00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:10,541
覆机了，覆机了
73
00:05:10,791 --> 00:05:11,458
谁覆机？
74
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:12,791
我大哥覆我啦
75
00:05:13,375 --> 00:05:14,125
你大哥？
76
00:05:15,708 --> 00:05:17,083
传呼蛙！没啦没啦！
77
00:05:17,416 --> 00:05:18,916
快点来啦来啦！
78
00:05:18,958 --> 00:05:20,625
通爷，我们不收服务费
79
00:05:20,666 --> 00:05:23,458
最低消费，一两二钱，谢谢
80
00:05:26,541 --> 00:05:28,041
少爷，小姐有麻烦
81
00:05:28,666 --> 00:05:29,375
跟我来
82
00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:44,666
谁陷害我？谁陷害我？
83
00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:46,791
连我周通都敢陷害？
84
00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:50,166
差大爷
85
00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:53,708
差大爷…
86
00:05:54,958 --> 00:05:55,583
我马上就走
87
00:05:55,625 --> 00:05:56,875
罚单已经开了
88
00:05:56,916 --> 00:05:59,333
你违例停马，到衙门交罚款吧你
89
00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:02,291
罚了也不是给你
90
00:06:05,041 --> 00:06:07,291
宾跑…你跑快一点，妹妹等着呢，快点
91
00:06:08,208 --> 00:06:09,500
少爷，等等我
92
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,666
别挡着
93
00:06:17,166 --> 00:06:19,083
闯红灯？！
94
00:06:19,583 --> 00:06:22,875
救命呀！做妓女呀，逼良为娼呀
95
00:06:23,166 --> 00:06:23,833
大哥！…
96
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,500
他逼我跳进火坑，他们要我去卖呀
97
00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:29,208
你逼良为娼？
98
00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:30,250
她输钱来的
99
00:07:05,875 --> 00:07:07,875
仁兄，小心
100
00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:14,000
兄台，可是头晕？
101
00:07:14,291 --> 00:07:14,916
有点…
102
00:07:15,416 --> 00:07:16,208
多管闲事…
103
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,291
痛也要硬撑着
104
00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:17,250
好呀，一个打四个，你说我大哥赢还是他们赢？
105
00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:20,000
赌一把，赌一把，买我大哥赢还是他们赢…
106
00:08:31,958 --> 00:08:35,333
发财啦！谢谢…明年见！明年见
107
00:08:35,958 --> 00:08:38,750
够钱去隆乳了！
108
00:08:43,166 --> 00:08:44,958
大哥，我好害怕
109
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,958
洛阳的治安那么差，他们会找我报仇的
110
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,833
我好怕，你要替我作主呀
111
00:08:51,583 --> 00:08:55,166
你们这些混帐仗势欺人，滥用暴力乱打人
112
00:08:55,458 --> 00:08:56,500
还要不要脸？
113
00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:59,291
谁再闹事我就把他全家抄斩
114
00:08:59,916 --> 00:09:02,208
谁敢说我坏话，我就送他进宫做太监
115
00:09:03,041 --> 00:09:04,458
我老妈是相国夫人…
116
00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:05,916
的牌友
117
00:09:06,666 --> 00:09:08,208
再大的事情也有她来帮我撑腰
118
00:09:08,791 --> 00:09:09,875
谁敢跟我斗？
119
00:09:10,541 --> 00:09:12,375
厉害吧？！请鼓掌
120
00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:18,583
通常英雄───都是给人家误解的
121
00:09:18,916 --> 00:09:19,541
对！
122
00:09:22,041 --> 00:09:24,166
轻点，好痛，痛，痛
123
00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:26,500
你忍耐一下吧，没事了
124
00:09:26,541 --> 00:09:28,291
再忍一回，再忍一下就成了
125
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,083
老妈子！
126
00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:35,291
儿子闺女，你们也该口干啦
127
00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:37,000
来，喝杯茶，来
128
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:39,166
娘！
129
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:40,916
先喝杯茶，喝杯茶吧
130
00:09:40,958 --> 00:09:42,708
娘，这些让下人来做就成了
131
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,875
不好！我特地倒茶向你们兄妹俩认错
132
00:09:46,375 --> 00:09:48,375
想当年，我跟你爹贪一时之快
133
00:09:49,041 --> 00:09:49,875
把你们给弄了出来
134
00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:51,541
又没得到你们的同意
135
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,333
你们心里面，一定非常的恨我
136
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:56,375
算啦！事情都过去了
137
00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:58,333
是呀娘，你别逗我们啦
138
00:09:59,625 --> 00:10:00,916
我整天打人是不对的
139
00:10:01,416 --> 00:10:02,416
我知道错了
140
00:10:02,458 --> 00:10:03,458
知道错啦？
141
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:07,291
知道错是不是？那还要我抬头跟你说话？
142
00:10:09,416 --> 00:10:10,166
娘息怒！
143
00:10:10,208 --> 00:10:14,500
你呀，从小跟个聋子一样，就知道打架闹事
144
00:10:14,541 --> 00:10:17,125
你呢除了赌钱，什么都不懂
145
00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:19,583
简直就是跟草包一样！
146
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:21,250
那我们不成了小笼包
147
00:10:21,583 --> 00:10:22,375
小笼草包
148
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:26,166
你呀，以后有的吃，有的睡就算了
149
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,500
我一个钱都不会给你的
150
00:10:28,541 --> 00:10:30,375
娘，不要呀，我戒赌！
151
00:10:30,416 --> 00:10:31,291
你戒得了？
152
00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:32,000
戒得了！
153
00:10:32,041 --> 00:10:33,416
不信我跟你打赌
154
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,500
没用的东西，你无可救药呀
155
00:10:35,541 --> 00:10:38,833
我让你指腹为婚的老公教你好了！
156
00:10:38,875 --> 00:10:39,833
我不管啦！
157
00:10:39,875 --> 00:10:41,833
老公？
158
00:10:42,583 --> 00:10:44,458
我早就收到未来女婿的信了！
159
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,833
从开封到洛阳，也不用一个月呀？
160
00:10:50,166 --> 00:10:51,916
老公呀？…
161
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:58,916
哎呀，老婆大人，我特地为你开了一家琥仁钱庄
162
00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:01,416
还给你申请了这张琥仁金卡
163
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:06,375
你可以不分昼夜，二十四个时辰去柜员机拿钱来花
164
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,250
天天赌钱赌通宵，不必回家那么麻烦了！
165
00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:12,125
老公，老公！
166
00:11:12,916 --> 00:11:17,583
老公！…
167
00:11:17,625 --> 00:11:20,083
姑娘，姑娘，请问…
168
00:11:20,125 --> 00:11:21,833
问？ 你要饭的吧？
169
00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:24,625
哼！滚一边去
170
00:11:24,666 --> 00:11:26,083
姑娘，你误会了
171
00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:28,458
我是从开封来跟周家小姐…
172
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:29,166
相亲的！
173
00:11:29,625 --> 00:11:30,416
哎呀…
174
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,791
小姐…小心呀…
175
00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:43,875
你呀？
176
00:11:44,541 --> 00:11:46,625
姑娘…
177
00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:50,583
阿吉，起来，起来呀，快起来呀
178
00:11:50,625 --> 00:11:53,250
吓？ 她是周吉，那你一定是周通周大哥
179
00:11:53,291 --> 00:11:53,875
你是什么人？
180
00:11:54,708 --> 00:11:56,125
林嘉声？！
181
00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:59,375
太君！请受未来小婿一拜！
182
00:12:01,791 --> 00:12:05,208
你跟你娘，简直是一模一样呀！
183
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,375
青青的山倒映照淡淡湖上
184
00:12:09,416 --> 00:12:11,916
好姐姐你也来洗衣服呀？来，来，来
185
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:15,833
哎呀，怎么啦怎么啦？ 没事吧？
186
00:12:16,166 --> 00:12:18,458
没事…哎呀，我们真是情同姊妹呀
187
00:12:18,875 --> 00:12:19,250
是呀
188
00:12:19,291 --> 00:12:22,000
这样吧，我们指腹为婚！
189
00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:23,416
好呀，就对天发誓吧！
190
00:12:27,791 --> 00:12:28,333
你看他们？
191
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,791
干脆我先说吧，生男结为兄弟
192
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:32,791
生女就结为姊妹
193
00:12:33,791 --> 00:12:35,250
一男一女就结为夫妇
194
00:12:35,708 --> 00:12:37,875
一言为定，谁要是反悔的话
195
00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:39,208
生儿子就没屁眼！
196
00:12:39,916 --> 00:12:40,875
是呀，生女儿像猩猩
197
00:12:44,416 --> 00:12:47,000
你没有屁眼，你吃饭了没有呀？
198
00:12:47,416 --> 00:12:48,375
放肆！
199
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,916
对了，嘉声，林家本是富甲天下
200
00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:54,000
为何你今日变得如此寒酸？
201
00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:56,666
是，不错，我们林家在开封
202
00:12:56,708 --> 00:12:59,333
的确是万顷良田，千亩屋地
203
00:12:59,625 --> 00:13:01,500
亭台楼阁，金璧辉煌
204
00:13:01,541 --> 00:13:03,416
酒池肉林，美不胜收
205
00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:07,833
唉，正是食客三千，仆人五百
206
00:13:07,875 --> 00:13:10,875
熊掌做早餐，豹胎当消夜
207
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:14,291
进一步海阔天空，退一步风平浪静;
208
00:13:14,625 --> 00:13:19,458
真是有你有我有田有屋有楼有地！
209
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:20,375
怎么现在这么糗呀？
210
00:13:21,291 --> 00:13:22,416
我们全家是被人家“糗”呀！
211
00:13:23,083 --> 00:13:25,750
自从上个月我爹生意失意破产
212
00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:27,916
步我娘后尘翘辫子之后
213
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:31,166
我们家就家道中落，一蹶不振
214
00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:35,666
现在是家徒四壁，身无长物，比要饭的还不如呀
215
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:41,083
我算过了，上个月我在钱庄的银行户口，祗剩下…
216
00:13:41,416 --> 00:13:43,625
黄金三千万两
217
00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:48,041
声爷！
218
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:50,416
唉，可惜福无从至，祸不单行
219
00:13:50,458 --> 00:13:51,583
国商钱庄倒闭之后
220
00:13:51,875 --> 00:13:54,833
连三千万两黄金都化为乌有，泡汤了
221
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:58,041
真是闻者伤心，见者流泪呀，吉妹！
222
00:13:58,083 --> 00:13:59,791
闭咀！我不答应这门亲事
223
00:13:59,833 --> 00:14:00,583
我不娶佢！
224
00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:01,375
是嫁！
225
00:14:01,416 --> 00:14:03,583
那更不可能了，想得挺美的…
226
00:14:04,041 --> 00:14:05,083
是呀，娘，自从他一出现
227
00:14:05,541 --> 00:14:06,625
阿吉已经晕过两次！
228
00:14:06,958 --> 00:14:08,291
嫁给他不等于害了她吗？
229
00:14:08,875 --> 00:14:09,916
我们不欢迎你这种穷亲戚！
230
00:14:10,208 --> 00:14:12,250
而且你根本不是亲戚，滚…滚…
231
00:14:12,791 --> 00:14:13,916
放肆！跪下！
232
00:14:16,125 --> 00:14:18,166
贤婿，不是你，快起来
233
00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:21,833
哼！婚姻大事，父母作主
234
00:14:22,375 --> 00:14:23,875
三日之后你过门入赘我周家！
235
00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:25,833
我就是不嫁！
236
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,541
那你这辈子就别想嫁！
237
00:14:28,958 --> 00:14:30,041
我守寡这么久
238
00:14:30,083 --> 00:14:31,166
我嫁！
239
00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:34,916
还不快扶他？ 哎呀，贤婿
240
00:14:36,541 --> 00:14:39,041
他嫁给我娘，不就成了我爹了？
241
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:43,041
相公，累不累？
242
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,291
我愿意！
243
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:47,416
不如我们吃饭吧，今天的菜准合你胃口！
244
00:14:48,125 --> 00:14:49,291
败火的！
245
00:14:49,333 --> 00:14:50,208
我喜欢！
246
00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:51,125
软饭啦
247
00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:52,416
我最满意
248
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,000
太好了！
249
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:56,375
爹，月初啦
250
00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:58,208
给点零用钱吧…
251
00:14:58,916 --> 00:14:59,958
谢谢…
252
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:02,416
省点！
253
00:15:03,625 --> 00:15:05,041
吓，这不作孽吗！
254
00:15:05,083 --> 00:15:06,416
哎呀，这可不行！
255
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:08,875
你呀！
256
00:15:08,916 --> 00:15:09,916
你不要打我！
257
00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,958
我马上走…
258
00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:13,958
我走了！
259
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:15,666
你可千万别走呀，妹夫！
260
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,166
明天我就让我妹妹嫁给你
261
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:18,750
还有嫁妆一牛车，怎么样呀！
262
00:15:37,708 --> 00:15:38,375
停轿！
263
00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:40,000
姑爷下轿
264
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:43,708
入赘嘛
265
00:15:44,666 --> 00:15:46,333
快把它给换上
266
00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:47,750
我不要嫁臭要饭的
267
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:49,958
你不嫁他，他要成了我们老爸了
268
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,291
我们就不会有好日子过了
269
00:15:52,708 --> 00:15:54,708
怕什么？！老哥给他一个下马威
270
00:15:55,333 --> 00:16:00,708
保证他对你服服贴贴的，来呀，来…来呀
271
00:16:01,583 --> 00:16:05,166
姑爷，今天是你的大好日子，你慢慢走呀
272
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,291
这个鸟蛋敢娶周吉
273
00:16:07,625 --> 00:16:08,791
不是白痴就是活得不耐烦
274
00:16:09,166 --> 00:16:10,541
准让大舅子折腾死呀！
275
00:16:10,916 --> 00:16:11,458
是呀…
276
00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:14,500
去！胡说八道！我们姑爷大富大贵呀！
277
00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:17,291
活该…
278
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:19,958
小心小心，慢慢走
279
00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:21,791
喂…想进门没那么容易
280
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:23,125
出去，先谈好条件！
281
00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:24,791
你进了我们周家门
282
00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:26,000
生为周家人，死为周家鬼
283
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,250
以后就改姓周
284
00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:30,583
周周？就叫周周吧！
285
00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:31,791
周周呀？
286
00:16:34,666 --> 00:16:37,791
这个名字好记呀，还不谢谢大哥，周周！
287
00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:38,333
不必了！
288
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,416
妹妹，把腿劈开！
289
00:16:45,416 --> 00:16:46,166
不是这样！
290
00:16:46,625 --> 00:16:47,333
是站着把腿劈开
291
00:16:47,375 --> 00:16:48,791
我还以为这么快就要洞房啦！
292
00:16:52,083 --> 00:16:55,208
钻过老婆裙脚下，一生要听老婆话
293
00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:56,166
来，过来呀！
294
00:16:56,208 --> 00:16:57,708
不行，我以后怎么见人？
295
00:16:58,291 --> 00:16:59,583
那你是不钻啦？
296
00:16:59,958 --> 00:17:00,500
不钻！
297
00:17:02,291 --> 00:17:03,000
想不钻也行
298
00:17:03,916 --> 00:17:06,541
读书人嘛，嘿嘿，好
299
00:17:06,583 --> 00:17:07,750
我就考考你智慧
300
00:17:08,666 --> 00:17:11,708
什么动物见人的时候会“为什么为什么”地叫！
301
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:12,625
鹦鹉
302
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:13,666
不对，是乌龟！
303
00:17:14,125 --> 00:17:14,666
是猪！
304
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:15,500
猪？
305
00:17:15,541 --> 00:17:16,041
为什么为什么？
306
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:17,541
你就是畜牲乌龟猪罗！
307
00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:20,500
乌龟…
308
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,041
果然有我千份之一的智慧
309
00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:26,666
搬出来！
310
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,166
现在考你胆识
311
00:17:34,208 --> 00:17:36,791
你能踩过这六个火盘，就免你钻裙脚
312
00:17:36,833 --> 00:17:39,750
大哥快点，我累死了，快点
313
00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:41,250
再忍一会，踩呀，哎呀
314
00:17:52,666 --> 00:17:54,416
好棒！好棒！
315
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,291
怎么样…哎呀…
316
00:17:58,166 --> 00:17:59,416
你穿了石棉布？！
317
00:17:59,916 --> 00:18:00,541
你可真狡猾！
318
00:18:00,958 --> 00:18:01,708
我要你马上钻过去！
319
00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:03,916
不行，不行，我不钻，我不钻，我不钻
320
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:04,791
快钻…
321
00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:05,666
钻呀！
322
00:18:07,666 --> 00:18:10,666
不钻，士可杀不可辱呀！
323
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,041
钻呀！钻，快
324
00:18:18,208 --> 00:18:20,708
别再胡闹啦，是时候拜堂啦
325
00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:23,875
贤婿，起来，起来
326
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:25,916
快放鞭炮奏乐！我们先进去…
327
00:18:25,958 --> 00:18:27,250
快进来，快进来
328
00:18:53,458 --> 00:18:55,500
洒了抽子叶，你就不会变妖孽
329
00:19:07,541 --> 00:19:09,166
舒不舒服呀？
330
00:19:09,791 --> 00:19:10,916
还可以
331
00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:14,375
还可以？
332
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:16,541
你说替我按摩很不舒服啦？
333
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:18,125
舒！舒服！
334
00:19:18,708 --> 00:19:20,166
使劲呀！
335
00:19:23,708 --> 00:19:26,291
明年可以抱孙子罗！
336
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,750
真是让人羡慕死了
337
00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:34,458
抽脚指头替我擦干净点呀
338
00:19:45,875 --> 00:19:47,791
想不想摸我的玉手呀？
339
00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:50,041
大姨妈的手镯呢？
340
00:19:50,458 --> 00:19:52,333
快，快，快点拿出来，快
341
00:19:54,666 --> 00:19:56,250
时间到！
342
00:19:59,208 --> 00:20:03,208
想不想亲一下我的小脸蛋呀？
343
00:20:03,791 --> 00:20:05,625
大姨丈的金链子呢？
344
00:20:06,583 --> 00:20:07,708
快点！
345
00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:13,458
明天再说！
346
00:20:20,041 --> 00:20:22,250
想揩油？
347
00:20:22,708 --> 00:20:23,958
很爽吧？
348
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:25,958
聘金呢？
349
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,416
早让大舅爷给收下了
350
00:20:29,833 --> 00:20:31,958
你不早说？猪头猪脑！
351
00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:33,500
睡觉！
352
00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:42,041
滚开！
353
00:20:42,916 --> 00:20:44,166
想行夫妻之礼呀？你省省吧
354
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,541
除非你给我两百两银子
355
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:08,458
不钻，你看我不打死你…
356
00:21:11,083 --> 00:21:15,458
钻进去…快点钻，钻呀！
357
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,041
此地不宜久留
358
00:21:17,291 --> 00:21:18,500
狗尚且不能留
359
00:21:18,541 --> 00:21:19,750
何况是人？
360
00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:28,125
墨呢？
361
00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:38,541
发你的财金口开呀
362
00:21:38,583 --> 00:21:40,166
七条条，八皮…
363
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,625
六呀六，七呀七…
364
00:21:49,791 --> 00:21:52,791
周太君，世侄不材，有负厚望
365
00:21:53,125 --> 00:21:54,375
此去后会无期
366
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,958
祗叹与周吉有名无实
367
00:21:57,625 --> 00:21:59,041
今后婚嫁各不相干
368
00:21:59,750 --> 00:22:02,083
还有，令千金双脚奇臭
369
00:22:02,958 --> 00:22:04,708
谨记勤洗，嘉声泣告
370
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:18,958
怎么啦？娘！你干什么呀？娘…
371
00:22:20,291 --> 00:22:21,833
快点…快点…快点…
372
00:22:27,125 --> 00:22:28,333
拦途告状
373
00:22:33,250 --> 00:22:34,875
知县大人，为什么如此多礼？
374
00:22:34,916 --> 00:22:36,625
什么事什么事？什么事？
375
00:22:37,583 --> 00:22:39,166
大人，小民要告周通兄妹
376
00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:40,666
告状？有状词吗？
377
00:22:40,708 --> 00:22:42,208
有，大人
378
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:56,916
你的状词不够份量呀
379
00:22:57,958 --> 00:22:59,375
不过我为人父母官，爱民若子
380
00:23:00,166 --> 00:23:01,500
为你代笔，要你十两吧
381
00:23:01,541 --> 00:23:02,791
小民祗得五两
382
00:23:02,833 --> 00:23:03,416
成交！
383
00:23:03,458 --> 00:23:05,916
打道回府
384
00:23:06,416 --> 00:23:07,666
大人，什么时候开庭呀？
385
00:23:08,458 --> 00:23:09,333
我先替你排期
386
00:23:09,375 --> 00:23:12,708
把另外那五两交上来，我自然会替你办妥的
387
00:23:13,666 --> 00:23:15,208
怪不得叫父母官
388
00:23:15,250 --> 00:23:17,083
原来是要人孝敬！
389
00:23:20,125 --> 00:23:22,000
买一送一，太化数啦！
390
00:23:23,708 --> 00:23:25,208
客官，用膳呀？里边请
391
00:23:26,750 --> 00:23:27,791
你喝点什么？
392
00:23:27,833 --> 00:23:28,958
山西竹叶青
393
00:23:29,291 --> 00:23:30,375
你精我也精
394
00:23:30,416 --> 00:23:31,041
没有呀！
395
00:23:31,083 --> 00:23:32,125
鸡尾酒吧
396
00:23:32,166 --> 00:23:33,666
鸡尾酒？
397
00:23:35,166 --> 00:23:36,583
哗！这么大的鸡尾，有没有吃的？
398
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:37,916
有！热狗
399
00:23:37,958 --> 00:23:39,125
也好！
400
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,625
该你倒霉啦！
401
00:23:45,291 --> 00:23:46,250
你的热狗！
402
00:23:47,041 --> 00:23:47,666
小二，算帐！
403
00:23:48,541 --> 00:23:49,750
客官，有没有骑马？如果有骑马来的话
404
00:23:50,250 --> 00:23:51,375
给我停马证，我揩你盖个印
405
00:23:52,208 --> 00:23:52,958
没有
406
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:54,166
谢谢十八两
407
00:23:54,458 --> 00:23:55,791
什么？十八两？
408
00:23:55,833 --> 00:23:57,375
我没吃那么多东西呀！
409
00:23:57,416 --> 00:23:58,875
最低消费呀，客官
410
00:23:58,916 --> 00:24:00,625
我祗有三两呀，怎么办！
411
00:24:01,166 --> 00:24:02,125
你想白吃？
412
00:24:02,166 --> 00:24:03,333
兄弟们
413
00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:05,333
又来白吃啦！
414
00:24:09,708 --> 00:24:10,500
哗！三两打成这样
415
00:24:10,541 --> 00:24:12,250
一两不是死定了？
416
00:24:27,208 --> 00:24:28,583
血腥玛莉
417
00:24:33,250 --> 00:24:35,875
你喝了这碗东西就会飘飘欲仙
418
00:24:35,916 --> 00:24:38,375
腾云驾雾，进入最高的境界！
419
00:24:39,666 --> 00:24:43,416
喝了它，喝呀！这是止咳药水
420
00:24:43,791 --> 00:24:46,000
喝了不会上瘾的，快点吧，来！来吧，试试吧！
421
00:24:49,250 --> 00:24:50,166
让我来试试看吧？
422
00:24:50,208 --> 00:24:51,958
滚开，丑八怪！
423
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:53,208
再说一遇
424
00:24:53,250 --> 00:24:54,208
我说你丑八怪！
425
00:25:19,416 --> 00:25:20,708
太不像话了？
426
00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:44,375
为了几两银就闹出人命？
427
00:25:45,625 --> 00:25:46,916
这里又无路可走！
428
00:25:47,416 --> 00:25:48,541
活该啦！
429
00:26:06,041 --> 00:26:07,458
把她干掉吧
430
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:08,625
把丑八怪宰了
431
00:26:09,416 --> 00:26:11,208
我不出暗器，你们简直不知死活！
432
00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:12,791
哗！香蕉！
433
00:26:15,333 --> 00:26:16,625
看蕉！
434
00:26:19,583 --> 00:26:20,500
上！
435
00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:25,583
蕉…
436
00:27:00,708 --> 00:27:02,500
何方英雄以蕉相救呢？
437
00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:08,708
唉！想不到我饱读诗书
438
00:27:09,541 --> 00:27:11,083
如今居然沦落到白吃
439
00:27:12,083 --> 00:27:13,833
幸亏我饱食香蕉是个饱鬼
440
00:27:14,083 --> 00:27:15,708
来生再见！
441
00:27:25,416 --> 00:27:27,125
牛头？
442
00:27:28,375 --> 00:27:29,666
马面？
443
00:27:38,041 --> 00:27:39,500
叩见阎王陛下
444
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,291
你说什么？
445
00:27:41,625 --> 00:27:43,958
原来阎王爷是个女人？失敬失敬
446
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,541
我不是阎王，你还没死呢！
447
00:27:46,458 --> 00:27:47,333
还没死？
448
00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:48,250
那你是？
449
00:27:48,291 --> 00:27:50,916
哎呀，怪物呀，妖精呀，厉鬼呀，哎呀…
450
00:27:54,416 --> 00:27:56,958
你走进我的窝就别想逃出我的手掌心
451
00:27:57,750 --> 00:27:58,750
你想劫财还是劫色？
452
00:27:58,791 --> 00:28:00,625
绝对不是第一样！
453
00:28:01,916 --> 00:28:03,125
大男人的，哭什么啦？
454
00:28:04,875 --> 00:28:08,041
想不到，我逃出周通兄妹的淫威
455
00:28:08,083 --> 00:28:09,958
却逃不出你的辣手催花！
456
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,541
谁是周通？
457
00:28:12,250 --> 00:28:13,166
事情是这样的…
458
00:28:14,041 --> 00:28:16,500
！！！！！！！！！
459
00:28:16,750 --> 00:28:18,583
？？？？？？？
460
00:28:18,625 --> 00:28:20,500
！！！！！！
461
00:28:20,541 --> 00:28:22,166
？？？？？？
462
00:28:22,625 --> 00:28:23,583
！！！！！！
463
00:28:23,916 --> 00:28:27,041
！－？？？？？？？？？
464
00:28:30,041 --> 00:28:33,458
贤婿！贤婿
465
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:35,875
岳母大人，你猜我是谁呀？
466
00:28:36,208 --> 00:28:38,250
贤婿？你真的回来啦？
467
00:28:38,541 --> 00:28:41,250
是呀，娘，我老公回来了，你先喝药吧，来
468
00:28:42,125 --> 00:28:44,416
不要…把手拿开…让我先看看你！
469
00:28:44,916 --> 00:28:47,250
我不，我不把手拿开
470
00:28:47,666 --> 00:28:49,000
你把药喝了我才肯放手！
471
00:28:49,041 --> 00:28:51,250
就是嘛，你喝呀，来喝药吧
472
00:28:51,875 --> 00:28:53,291
把手拿开，兔崽子！
473
00:28:53,791 --> 00:28:56,541
不是呀，我真的是你的女婿林嘉声！
474
00:28:58,791 --> 00:29:00,541
你以为我不知道你会说腹语吗？
475
00:29:01,791 --> 00:29:04,958
我已经尽量装得很投入的样子
476
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,875
可是你们俩装得实在太不像了
477
00:29:07,791 --> 00:29:12,083
滚开，贤婿，贤婿！
478
00:29:12,125 --> 00:29:14,250
太失败了
479
00:29:14,291 --> 00:29:15,958
大哥，你快想想办法成不成呀
480
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,041
我们快要变成苦海孤雏啦
481
00:29:27,375 --> 00:29:28,000
有办法
482
00:29:28,041 --> 00:29:29,916
什么办法？
483
00:29:29,958 --> 00:29:32,000
替娘摆个喜酒冲喜，把它搅大
484
00:29:32,041 --> 00:29:33,875
你想把娘的肚子搅大？
485
00:29:33,916 --> 00:29:35,791
鬼才肯娶她？
486
00:29:35,833 --> 00:29:37,541
拢喜酒，七十大寿呀！
487
00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:40,125
Yeah！
488
00:29:40,375 --> 00:29:41,750
击个掌
489
00:29:43,333 --> 00:29:44,375
Yeah！
490
00:29:44,416 --> 00:29:46,208
如此这般罗！
491
00:29:46,250 --> 00:29:47,750
对！男儿当自强
492
00:29:47,791 --> 00:29:51,083
难得你满腹经纶，这儿有八两黄金
493
00:29:51,125 --> 00:29:52,500
你带着上京应考
494
00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:54,541
我怎么可以接受你的恩惠呢？
495
00:29:55,333 --> 00:29:56,208
傻瓜！祗要你取得功名
496
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:58,625
以身相许不就行了
497
00:29:58,666 --> 00:30:00,041
吓？
498
00:30:01,041 --> 00:30:02,541
口说无凭，签个名字！
499
00:30:05,750 --> 00:30:06,750
陈世美，王魁
500
00:30:07,875 --> 00:30:08,833
张君瑞，朱买臣？
501
00:30:09,125 --> 00:30:11,833
一听这些名字，就知道他们一定高中状元
502
00:30:12,333 --> 00:30:15,541
我每年总会碰到三五十个像你这样落难的书生
503
00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:18,750
这招叫渔翁撒网，分散投资
504
00:30:19,875 --> 00:30:22,000
我一定能做状元夫人
505
00:30:23,375 --> 00:30:25,500
请问女中豪杰，尊姓大名呀！
506
00:30:25,833 --> 00:30:28,083
开封有个母夜叉
507
00:30:28,125 --> 00:30:30,041
铁面无私办忠奸
508
00:30:35,125 --> 00:30:35,375
小心啦！
509
00:30:35,416 --> 00:30:36,791
坐好啦！
510
00:30:36,833 --> 00:30:37,750
我上京啦
511
00:30:39,750 --> 00:30:40,833
司机，不要绕道！
512
00:30:40,875 --> 00:30:42,125
成啦！
513
00:30:46,458 --> 00:30:48,541
小霸王周通到底是什么人呢？
514
00:30:53,541 --> 00:30:58,625
咦，大哥，看你笑眯眯的，莫非是到烟花巷这个…
515
00:30:58,666 --> 00:31:00,000
你可真糊涂
516
00:31:00,041 --> 00:31:02,125
今夜上花田灯会
517
00:31:02,166 --> 00:31:03,458
准有很多演艺界的奇才在市集挣钱
518
00:31:04,291 --> 00:31:05,750
现在去架一两个回来
519
00:31:05,791 --> 00:31:07,541
为老妈的寿宴助庆
520
00:31:08,208 --> 00:31:09,333
哗！高竿
521
00:31:09,375 --> 00:31:11,125
听说那里有个后英俊的魔术师
522
00:31:11,541 --> 00:31:12,833
你记得给他订金
523
00:31:12,875 --> 00:31:14,375
魔术师？叫什么名字？
524
00:31:14,416 --> 00:31:16,083
大围高柏飞
525
00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:18,416
从沙田大围那儿来的高柏飞！
526
00:31:19,833 --> 00:31:20,708
就是他，快去啦！
527
00:31:21,708 --> 00:31:22,666
我马上去！
528
00:32:25,958 --> 00:32:27,500
就是他呀？
529
00:32:27,833 --> 00:32:28,083
是呀！
530
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,416
好英俊呀！
531
00:32:44,541 --> 00:32:47,250
还说装男生方便，现更麻烦！
532
00:32:48,125 --> 00:32:49,083
各位请看！
533
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,541
好棒…
534
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,166
签名，请你签个名字，好，不好意思
535
00:32:59,291 --> 00:33:00,666
现在又到了最精彩的表演时间了
536
00:33:00,708 --> 00:33:02,625
我需要一位现场观众帮我的忙
537
00:33:02,666 --> 00:33:04,708
那位？
538
00:33:04,750 --> 00:33:05,541
你！ 大眼哥哥，来…
539
00:33:07,166 --> 00:33:09,250
各位一定很想知道这位娘娘腔的兄台
540
00:33:10,291 --> 00:33:11,583
里面穿了些什么，是不是？
541
00:33:11,916 --> 00:33:13,291
喂，你想怎么样？
542
00:33:13,333 --> 00:33:14,958
不想怎么样
543
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,458
跟你玩玩
544
00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:22,500
什么玩意
545
00:33:26,250 --> 00:33:27,375
肚兜？！
546
00:33:43,708 --> 00:33:45,541
原来这位兄台是…
547
00:33:46,958 --> 00:33:49,291
喜欢条状物体的人！
548
00:33:54,166 --> 00:33:55,791
多多得罪
549
00:33:57,458 --> 00:33:58,583
谢谢
550
00:34:10,416 --> 00:34:13,625
走开，走开…走开
551
00:34:14,750 --> 00:34:15,791
那个变戏法的呢？
552
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,166
那小子好帅！
553
00:34:28,208 --> 00:34:30,000
我喜欢，拿来，拿来
554
00:34:30,458 --> 00:34:32,041
给你提提神吧
555
00:34:38,875 --> 00:34:40,291
怎么样货色不错吧？
556
00:34:43,625 --> 00:34:45,500
小姐你看他来了，怎么办呀
557
00:35:03,666 --> 00:35:09,000
求神求神，诚心礼佛来求灵神
558
00:35:09,875 --> 00:35:15,375
同哥哥你三生有幸，求哥哥你成为情人
559
00:35:15,958 --> 00:35:18,458
好心施舍你怜悯
560
00:35:18,958 --> 00:35:21,500
劝你说话谨慎
561
00:35:22,458 --> 00:35:24,250
沟仔休想过问
562
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,291
我劝你要立品行
563
00:35:28,166 --> 00:35:30,583
快弹开咪黐身！
564
00:35:31,583 --> 00:35:33,333
小生热情太甚
565
00:35:34,208 --> 00:35:36,166
初相见心爱情人
566
00:35:36,458 --> 00:35:39,250
我哋初初学人去蜜运
567
00:35:39,625 --> 00:35:42,083
今晚一定要过瘾
568
00:35:43,250 --> 00:35:44,458
有缘归有缘！
569
00:35:44,833 --> 00:35:46,166
肚兜可得还给我们
570
00:35:46,208 --> 00:35:47,125
好，好
571
00:35:47,750 --> 00:35:49,750
用不着你来多管闲事
572
00:35:51,375 --> 00:35:53,416
你弄得这么脏，洗干净了
573
00:35:53,458 --> 00:35:55,000
改天再还给我吧
574
00:36:21,958 --> 00:36:24,708
死丫头…咱们出来混你机灵点好不好？
575
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,916
肚兜要回来不就断线啦？
576
00:36:26,958 --> 00:36:29,000
逢场作戏嘛，怎么认真起来了？
577
00:36:29,458 --> 00:36:32,875
有什么办法能逼得爹非提亲不可呢？
578
00:36:34,458 --> 00:36:35,916
出个点子啦
579
00:36:36,208 --> 00:36:37,500
这一招怎么样？
580
00:36:37,541 --> 00:36:39,416
盲人吃橘子───
581
00:36:39,708 --> 00:36:41,000
瞎掰罗！
582
00:36:44,750 --> 00:36:47,041
听说令千金知书达理
583
00:36:47,375 --> 00:36:50,458
城内很多公子哥儿都在追求她呀
584
00:36:51,208 --> 00:36:53,333
他们想追求我的闺女雪仙？
585
00:36:53,375 --> 00:36:55,500
雪仙自幼得我孜孜教诲
586
00:36:56,333 --> 00:36:57,583
绝不会看上那些
587
00:36:57,625 --> 00:36:59,375
肩不能挑，手不能提的小白脸！
588
00:36:59,416 --> 00:37:00,625
有些还是小太保呢！
589
00:37:00,666 --> 00:37:01,500
是呀…
590
00:37:02,708 --> 00:37:04,250
那更要拜会拜会令千金啦！
591
00:37:04,916 --> 00:37:06,000
就在楼上！
592
00:37:06,750 --> 00:37:08,375
小女是三步不出闺门的
593
00:37:08,833 --> 00:37:09,708
雪仙呀
594
00:37:14,291 --> 00:37:16,000
准是到后花园捡绣球，正在捡！
595
00:37:16,791 --> 00:37:18,625
是吗？你看
596
00:37:20,083 --> 00:37:21,041
吓！小太保？
597
00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:23,416
登徒子！
598
00:37:24,750 --> 00:37:25,333
爹，是我！
599
00:37:26,166 --> 00:37:29,291
哎呀，是你呀，乖女儿，你没事吧？
600
00:37:29,333 --> 00:37:30,333
你们两个干吗穿着男人衣服
601
00:37:30,375 --> 00:37:32,083
还溜出去玩通宵？
602
00:37:37,541 --> 00:37:39,750
他们俩参加了戏曲班
603
00:37:40,666 --> 00:37:41,791
扮演东方不败
604
00:37:42,458 --> 00:37:43,583
哦！多才多艺！
605
00:37:43,625 --> 00:37:45,583
怪不得还会飞檐走壁呀
606
00:37:47,208 --> 00:37:48,500
小姐，快编词呀！
607
00:37:49,250 --> 00:37:50,125
怎么编呀！
608
00:37:50,958 --> 00:37:53,375
老爷，昨天晚上小姐在纯吃茶那儿
609
00:37:53,416 --> 00:37:55,375
认识了一个男生！
610
00:37:56,166 --> 00:37:58,041
认识男孩子是正常社交嘛！
611
00:37:58,875 --> 00:37:59,666
说的也是！
612
00:37:59,708 --> 00:38:01,666
我儿子还不是每天出去泡妞！
613
00:38:03,416 --> 00:38:04,166
我先回房去了
614
00:38:04,208 --> 00:38:05,041
回房去回房去…
615
00:38:05,291 --> 00:38:06,375
不是呀，老爷！
616
00:38:06,416 --> 00:38:07,833
小姐跟那个男生合而为一啦！
617
00:38:09,333 --> 00:38:11,416
俗语说，合久必分，分久必合
618
00:38:12,333 --> 00:38:13,375
离离合合是家常便饭！
619
00:38:14,416 --> 00:38:15,750
对，对，这样子男女才可以平衡嘛
620
00:38:16,208 --> 00:38:17,333
是呀
621
00:38:17,708 --> 00:38:18,625
祗要小姐没吃亏，也就无所谓了
622
00:38:19,375 --> 00:38:20,125
早吃亏啦！
623
00:38:21,041 --> 00:38:21,916
小姐已经被那男生那个了！
624
00:38:22,666 --> 00:38:23,458
好呀！真是…
625
00:38:24,375 --> 00:38:25,208
俗语说的好…
626
00:38:27,708 --> 00:38:28,875
虽然她的肉体受到创伤
627
00:38:29,958 --> 00:38:30,958
可是她的灵魂还是很纯洁的
628
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,833
小事小事…
629
00:38:32,875 --> 00:38:34,708
说的也是！历代可歌可泣的奇女子
630
00:38:35,166 --> 00:38:36,916
也不过是人尽可夫的妓女！
631
00:38:36,958 --> 00:38:38,791
谢谢谢谢…
632
00:38:38,833 --> 00:38:39,666
老爷，还有！
633
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:40,833
小姐已经有啦
634
00:38:41,833 --> 00:38:42,916
是吗？
635
00:38:43,875 --> 00:38:44,625
那就证明小女很会生
636
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,875
有传宗接代的能力
637
00:38:48,750 --> 00:38:50,083
到你说啦！
638
00:38:51,833 --> 00:38:53,125
这这这我可兜不回来了
639
00:38:53,583 --> 00:38:54,833
我打道回府！
640
00:38:54,875 --> 00:38:56,708
不送！
641
00:38:59,916 --> 00:39:02,166
爹，你听我解释！
642
00:39:03,666 --> 00:39:05,875
爹，你不要打我
643
00:39:07,083 --> 00:39:09,000
你应该一脚踢我肚子上
644
00:39:09,958 --> 00:39:11,500
把里面那个，你的外孙
645
00:39:12,375 --> 00:39:14,375
狠毒无情地送到西方极乐世界去
646
00:39:15,416 --> 00:39:17,041
免得他成了孽种！
647
00:39:18,041 --> 00:39:21,125
那个兔崽子肯不肯认帐呀？
648
00:39:24,416 --> 00:39:28,916
那你也告诉我未来女婿姓什么，叫什么，住在那儿？
649
00:39:32,083 --> 00:39:33,291
怎么样，魔术飞？
650
00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:33,833
怎么样，胖子森？
651
00:39:33,875 --> 00:39:34,958
香蜜湖
652
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,208
又是天体海滩呀？
653
00:39:36,250 --> 00:39:37,458
来了很多北方佳丽
654
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:38,625
还不是那些货色？
655
00:39:38,666 --> 00:39:39,541
看看嘛！
656
00:39:41,416 --> 00:39:43,583
这个，是全京城最红的
657
00:39:43,625 --> 00:39:44,958
我才红呢！
658
00:39:45,375 --> 00:39:46,833
这个吧！
659
00:39:47,083 --> 00:39:49,208
虽然做了少奶奶，可是很想复出
660
00:39:49,250 --> 00:39:50,541
还是野花好
661
00:39:50,583 --> 00:39:52,750
那这个又怎么样
662
00:39:53,666 --> 00:39:54,375
这个，耐力惊人，武功高强
663
00:39:55,333 --> 00:39:56,125
专做高难度动作
664
00:39:56,166 --> 00:39:57,333
能打斗，还没试过
665
00:39:57,375 --> 00:39:58,333
是吗？
666
00:39:58,375 --> 00:39:59,458
就要她！
667
00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:00,333
好呀
668
00:40:00,916 --> 00:40:02,833
你就是那个变戏法的高柏飞是不是？
669
00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:04,666
变戏法的
670
00:40:05,250 --> 00:40:07,041
明儿晚上我娘大寿之喜
671
00:40:07,541 --> 00:40:09,583
你到我家来变个戏法搞搞气氛
672
00:40:09,958 --> 00:40:11,250
我不会亏待你的
673
00:40:11,291 --> 00:40:13,083
先拿去用吧
674
00:40:13,125 --> 00:40:15,416
对不起，我要做生意，你等一等
675
00:40:15,458 --> 00:40:18,666
我堂堂小霸王来邀请你，你要我等？
676
00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:20,166
大家过来看看呀！
677
00:40:21,416 --> 00:40:22,541
你不要敬酒不吃吃罚酒
678
00:40:23,041 --> 00:40:25,458
我说这位公子，我只不过是江湖卖艺的
679
00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:27,750
实在难登大雅之堂
680
00:40:27,791 --> 00:40:30,291
这样好啦，你替我回去好好地问候令堂吧
681
00:40:30,333 --> 00:40:32,041
说得好
682
00:40:36,500 --> 00:40:38,041
拿去炖给娘吃
683
00:40:53,583 --> 00:40:54,458
我的手镯呢？
684
00:40:55,125 --> 00:40:56,375
我娘给我的象牙手镯呢？
685
00:40:59,375 --> 00:41:01,000
大家看看，狗咀长出象牙罗
686
00:41:02,708 --> 00:41:03,666
你敢耍我？
687
00:41:27,708 --> 00:41:28,958
老伯你躲开一点嘛
688
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:29,958
差点打到你呀
689
00:41:38,875 --> 00:41:39,958
蝙蝠侠？
690
00:41:47,708 --> 00:41:50,041
你出来，出来呀！
691
00:41:52,625 --> 00:41:54,250
我就不信你不出来
692
00:42:12,833 --> 00:42:14,875
好棒好棒…高手高手高手
693
00:42:17,208 --> 00:42:18,625
又装小胡子？
694
00:42:18,666 --> 00:42:20,041
喂，你干什么？
695
00:42:20,083 --> 00:42:22,125
对不起，认错人了
696
00:42:22,166 --> 00:42:24,791
请问公子是不是大围高柏飞？
697
00:42:24,833 --> 00:42:25,583
是也行不是也行
698
00:42:25,625 --> 00:42:27,375
那究竟是还是不是？
699
00:42:27,416 --> 00:42:28,791
你说是就是
700
00:42:28,833 --> 00:42:30,125
那太好了，高大爷
701
00:42:30,166 --> 00:42:32,833
你知不知道小女对你一片痴心？
702
00:42:33,208 --> 00:42:33,916
有女孩子喜欢我？
703
00:42:33,958 --> 00:42:36,458
当然有啦！ 高大爷有一种忧郁的眼神
704
00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:38,250
俏皮的朱唇，宽阔的胸襟
705
00:42:38,291 --> 00:42:39,041
虎背雄腰
706
00:42:39,083 --> 00:42:39,916
坚挺的…
707
00:42:39,958 --> 00:42:40,875
这个我也有
708
00:42:40,916 --> 00:42:42,666
简直是如来佛祖的杰作
709
00:42:42,708 --> 00:42:44,291
府上还有什么人呀？
710
00:42:44,916 --> 00:42:45,625
女人！
711
00:42:46,166 --> 00:42:47,250
一个娘一个妹妹，两个都是女人！
712
00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:48,583
单身贵族！
713
00:42:48,625 --> 00:42:50,458
男大当婚呀！
714
00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:51,458
说得倒容易
715
00:42:51,500 --> 00:42:52,583
就是这么容易
716
00:42:52,625 --> 00:42:54,000
只要你肯娶我的女儿
717
00:42:54,708 --> 00:42:55,375
娶你的女儿？
718
00:42:55,416 --> 00:42:56,916
而且要马上
719
00:42:56,958 --> 00:42:57,625
考虑一下行不行？
720
00:42:57,666 --> 00:42:58,583
考虑什么呀？
721
00:42:58,625 --> 00:43:00,791
你能等，肚子里那个不能等呀
722
00:43:00,833 --> 00:43:02,625
肚子里还有一个呀？
723
00:43:02,666 --> 00:43:04,750
不孝有三，无后为大！
724
00:43:04,791 --> 00:43:08,375
你想想你娘抱着小孩子会多开心呀
725
00:43:08,416 --> 00:43:09,875
娘？
726
00:43:10,416 --> 00:43:14,208
喝了这杯媳妇敬的茶，富贵又荣华
727
00:43:14,250 --> 00:43:15,666
喝茶，娘
728
00:43:21,708 --> 00:43:23,041
娘！
729
00:43:25,750 --> 00:43:27,083
娘！
730
00:43:30,750 --> 00:43:32,416
我替你擦鞋
731
00:43:32,458 --> 00:43:35,000
至于成亲的事，要越快越好
732
00:43:35,041 --> 00:43:36,083
再说吧！
733
00:43:36,125 --> 00:43:37,125
至于聘金酒席方面-------
734
00:43:37,166 --> 00:43:39,208
随便啦！ 你肯娶我的女儿
735
00:43:39,250 --> 00:43:41,250
我倒贴嫁妆也无所谓
736
00:43:41,291 --> 00:43:42,083
那怎么成？
737
00:43:42,125 --> 00:43:45,458
你这是不把我当朋友啦！
738
00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:47,000
天下哪有那么便宜的事
739
00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:49,500
有呀！ 有呀…
740
00:43:49,541 --> 00:43:51,458
那我倒要看看是什么货色！
741
00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:52,708
看货！
742
00:43:52,750 --> 00:43:53,958
雪仙！
743
00:43:57,416 --> 00:43:58,625
正点！
744
00:43:58,666 --> 00:44:00,125
我答应你
745
00:44:00,166 --> 00:44:02,791
这个只是丫环
746
00:44:02,833 --> 00:44:05,375
通常丫环漂亮
747
00:44:05,416 --> 00:44:06,791
小姐一定是个丑八怪
748
00:44:06,833 --> 00:44:09,250
说好啦，要是你的女儿长得很丑
749
00:44:09,291 --> 00:44:11,083
我就娶这个丫环
750
00:44:11,125 --> 00:44:12,375
爹！
751
00:44:21,583 --> 00:44:22,791
这家伙是谁呀？
752
00:44:22,833 --> 00:44:24,291
就是把你那个的那个罗
753
00:44:24,333 --> 00:44:25,958
吓？ 已经被那个啦？
754
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:27,541
难怪你免费送给我啦
755
00:44:27,583 --> 00:44:28,666
神经病
756
00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:30,458
干什么干什么
757
00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:33,041
丫头，他不是大围高柏飞呀？ 丫头！
758
00:44:34,208 --> 00:44:35,750
误会一场，你可以走了
759
00:44:35,791 --> 00:44:38,375
没那么容易，还没谈妥呢！
760
00:44:38,416 --> 00:44:39,375
面试完毕
761
00:44:39,416 --> 00:44:42,000
有消息我们自然会写信通知你，请回吧
762
00:44:42,041 --> 00:44:43,541
想得美，请回？！
763
00:44:45,875 --> 00:44:47,083
上轿，上轿
764
00:44:47,375 --> 00:44:49,000
想赶我走？ 你把我当什么人？
765
00:44:50,125 --> 00:44:52,375
敬酒不吃吃罚酒？
766
00:44:52,708 --> 00:44:53,708
“宝安”
767
00:44:53,750 --> 00:44:54,791
保安？
768
00:44:55,208 --> 00:44:56,041
“宝安”
769
00:44:56,083 --> 00:44:56,583
有
770
00:44:56,833 --> 00:44:57,458
阿宝！
771
00:44:57,500 --> 00:44:57,958
有
772
00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:58,416
阿安！
773
00:44:58,458 --> 00:44:59,000
在
774
00:44:59,333 --> 00:44:59,916
送客！
775
00:44:59,958 --> 00:45:00,416
是！
776
00:45:04,916 --> 00:45:05,625
宝安哪去了？
777
00:45:07,291 --> 00:45:09,833
是不是你低声下气要我娶你的女儿？
778
00:45:09,875 --> 00:45:12,000
我好像跟一个人说过
779
00:45:12,041 --> 00:45:13,000
那个人是不是我？
780
00:45:13,333 --> 00:45:14,166
不认识
781
00:45:14,208 --> 00:45:16,000
你这是单方面破坏联合声明
782
00:45:16,625 --> 00:45:18,416
你有更好的提议吗？
783
00:45:18,458 --> 00:45:20,125
你分明是搞对抗？
784
00:45:20,166 --> 00:45:21,875
不敢不敢不敢…
785
00:45:22,208 --> 00:45:23,750
这里是你作主还是我作主？
786
00:45:23,791 --> 00:45:24,333
给我下来！
787
00:45:26,875 --> 00:45:27,583
我的妈呀
788
00:45:27,625 --> 00:45:29,500
当今世上你耍什么人都行
789
00:45:29,750 --> 00:45:31,416
就是不能耍我这个仁者无敌
790
00:45:31,458 --> 00:45:34,291
见义勇为，一片丹心，直肠直肚的
791
00:45:34,333 --> 00:45:35,458
小霸王周通！
792
00:45:35,958 --> 00:45:36,958
周捅？
793
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:37,375
通！
794
00:45:37,416 --> 00:45:38,041
捅？！
795
00:45:38,083 --> 00:45:38,666
就通你窟窿
796
00:45:38,708 --> 00:45:42,625
爹…你干什么打人呀，爹…
797
00:45:42,875 --> 00:45:45,000
小妞，今晚上早点歇着
798
00:45:45,250 --> 00:45:47,250
我明天一大早就来娶你过门
799
00:45:47,791 --> 00:45:49,500
我不会嫁给你的！
800
00:45:49,833 --> 00:45:50,541
不嫁？
801
00:45:50,958 --> 00:45:51,958
那我就来抢！
802
00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:53,458
高阮进来
803
00:45:55,208 --> 00:45:55,833
少爷
804
00:45:56,833 --> 00:45:58,333
集合武馆的弟兄们
805
00:45:58,375 --> 00:46:01,291
把前门后门左门右门暗门光门重重包围
806
00:46:01,541 --> 00:46:02,250
是！
807
00:46:02,583 --> 00:46:04,166
飞走一只苍蝇都唯你是问
808
00:46:04,541 --> 00:46:05,750
告辞了，岳父大人
809
00:46:06,333 --> 00:46:07,625
不必送了，小宝贝
810
00:46:12,375 --> 00:46:13,333
高柏飞…高柏飞呀
811
00:46:13,750 --> 00:46:15,333
爹，怎么办？
812
00:46:16,666 --> 00:46:20,500
不行！ 爹上楼打个盹！
813
00:46:20,541 --> 00:46:22,083
没时间啦！ 你还睡？
814
00:46:22,750 --> 00:46:25,083
乖女儿，你也知道爹的臭毛病
815
00:46:25,125 --> 00:46:26,291
一紧张就会打瞌睡嘛
816
00:46:27,083 --> 00:46:28,125
别碍着我上楼
817
00:46:28,750 --> 00:46:29,791
我受不了啦！
818
00:46:35,291 --> 00:46:37,041
到那边去，快，快点
819
00:46:42,666 --> 00:46:45,041
现在又到了我最精彩的表演时间了
820
00:46:45,083 --> 00:46:47,958
请问那位现场观众肯帮小弟的一个忙？
821
00:46:48,375 --> 00:46:49,708
公子…公子
822
00:46:50,208 --> 00:46:51,500
这位小姐肯帮我的忙
823
00:46:52,083 --> 00:46:53,083
不是的，不是呀公子
824
00:46:53,125 --> 00:46:53,916
我们来吧
825
00:47:00,291 --> 00:47:02,708
这就是我特地从香城名发廊偷师学来的最新发型
826
00:47:04,458 --> 00:47:05,291
不错
827
00:47:07,666 --> 00:47:09,458
很新潮！
828
00:47:09,916 --> 00:47:11,333
请问那位还想试试呀？
829
00:47:11,708 --> 00:47:12,916
我的头发！
830
00:47:13,333 --> 00:47:15,166
公子，我是为了小姐来的
831
00:47:15,208 --> 00:47:16,041
那位小姐？
832
00:47:16,083 --> 00:47:17,000
肚兜呀！
833
00:47:19,666 --> 00:47:20,583
那一种肚兜呀？
834
00:47:21,708 --> 00:47:23,000
我跟小姐用的牌子是一样的
835
00:47:27,541 --> 00:47:28,666
大眼哥哥！
836
00:47:29,500 --> 00:47:30,583
有个恶霸逼小姐结婚啦！
837
00:47:30,625 --> 00:47:31,625
恶霸？
838
00:47:32,958 --> 00:47:34,125
小姐在房间等着你
839
00:47:34,166 --> 00:47:35,458
你整个晚上对着她
840
00:47:35,500 --> 00:47:37,583
说不定能想到一个救她的办法
841
00:47:37,958 --> 00:47:39,000
整个晚上？
842
00:47:39,041 --> 00:47:40,833
是呀！ 我已经把轿子准备好了
843
00:47:41,500 --> 00:47:42,500
我去买点东西！
844
00:47:43,666 --> 00:47:45,291
便利店
845
00:47:48,416 --> 00:47:49,541
小兄弟，有没有袋子？
846
00:47:49,583 --> 00:47:50,125
有！
847
00:47:50,166 --> 00:47:51,000
有没有超大型的
848
00:47:51,041 --> 00:47:51,916
你买袋子干什么？
849
00:47:55,583 --> 00:47:58,750
坐轿子你也会晕的
850
00:47:59,250 --> 00:48:00,958
所以要买个大袋子罗
851
00:48:05,708 --> 00:48:07,041
什么事呀，进进出出的
852
00:48:07,083 --> 00:48:09,041
送嫁嘛！ 她是小姐的姐妹！
853
00:48:09,500 --> 00:48:10,416
她怎么吐了？
854
00:48:10,458 --> 00:48:11,458
怀孕！
855
00:48:12,125 --> 00:48:13,166
带着球还送嫁？
856
00:48:13,208 --> 00:48:14,583
我们老家流行嘛！
857
00:48:14,625 --> 00:48:15,916
小姐赶着上头呢，你别挡着！
858
00:48:17,375 --> 00:48:18,458
有这种事？
859
00:48:18,708 --> 00:48:21,416
所以说，穷人没坐轿子的福气
860
00:48:21,458 --> 00:48:23,333
你要不要止吐药呀？
861
00:48:24,291 --> 00:48:24,833
你先坐下，来
862
00:48:25,250 --> 00:48:25,750
坐，坐…
863
00:48:27,458 --> 00:48:27,958
小姐小姐…
864
00:48:29,708 --> 00:48:30,958
老爷，你的头怎么啦？
865
00:48:31,583 --> 00:48:33,333
雪仙她死都不肯嫁
866
00:48:33,375 --> 00:48:35,375
我正想把胡子剃了，化个女妆
867
00:48:35,416 --> 00:48:36,875
明天替她交货罗
868
00:48:37,958 --> 00:48:40,375
糟了！ 万一周捅蛮劲一来
869
00:48:40,958 --> 00:48:42,041
那我屁眼不是…
870
00:48:42,708 --> 00:48:43,750
晚节不保？
871
00:48:43,791 --> 00:48:45,458
有什么关系？ 你也一把年纪了
872
00:48:45,708 --> 00:48:46,458
胡说
873
00:48:46,833 --> 00:48:47,500
是什么人？
874
00:48:48,916 --> 00:48:49,583
是…哎哋，老爷
875
00:49:01,458 --> 00:49:03,291
这么漂亮的女孩子那来的？
876
00:49:03,958 --> 00:49:04,625
聪明聪明
877
00:49:05,125 --> 00:49:06,458
你的想法跟老爷一样
878
00:49:06,708 --> 00:49:08,625
找个漂亮的女孩代替小姐出嫁？
879
00:49:08,666 --> 00:49:09,291
不是呀！
880
00:49:09,541 --> 00:49:10,000
怎么不是呢！
881
00:49:10,041 --> 00:49:12,500
你快去告诉小姐，就说有救啦，不必担心
882
00:49:12,875 --> 00:49:13,458
真的不是呀！
883
00:49:13,750 --> 00:49:15,875
快去！ 人命关天哪！ 去呀你
884
00:49:27,875 --> 00:49:29,708
我这么大岁数怎能像个禽兽，真是的！
885
00:49:30,750 --> 00:49:32,125
这个美女花了我这么多钱
886
00:49:32,166 --> 00:49:33,625
没道理就这么便宜了周捅嘛！
887
00:49:34,666 --> 00:49:35,416
禽兽就禽兽！
888
00:49:36,083 --> 00:49:36,958
先到先得
889
00:49:38,166 --> 00:49:42,708
小妞，我要周捅穿我的破鞋，捡二手货，来，来，来
890
00:49:42,750 --> 00:49:44,375
你替我生个白白胖胖的儿子
891
00:49:44,416 --> 00:49:46,125
十八年后我才告诉他
892
00:49:46,166 --> 00:49:47,291
把他气死
893
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:48,750
小心小心
894
00:49:49,541 --> 00:49:51,500
到时候他知道替我白养这么多年儿子
895
00:49:51,541 --> 00:49:52,791
不气得七窍生烟才怪！
896
00:50:01,041 --> 00:50:02,541
慢着，慢着，别睡，别睡，千万别睡呀
897
00:50:02,916 --> 00:50:03,583
你不要叫…
898
00:50:03,625 --> 00:50:04,791
你看，我很有能耐的
899
00:50:09,833 --> 00:50:10,958
千万别怕，别害怕
900
00:50:11,708 --> 00:50:13,041
反正你迟早失身
901
00:50:13,083 --> 00:50:14,500
现在就由我示范给你看看嘛
902
00:50:15,250 --> 00:50:16,125
你个色狼！
903
00:50:16,166 --> 00:50:17,125
我不是色狼！
904
00:50:17,375 --> 00:50:18,875
明天你看到的那个才是色狼
905
00:50:22,375 --> 00:50:24,458
正点！ 投怀送抱呀
906
00:50:24,708 --> 00:50:25,333
太棒了，太妙了
907
00:50:25,375 --> 00:50:27,041
对！ 主动一点好，太棒了，主动一点！
908
00:50:28,791 --> 00:50:32,708
我尽量发挥你的------
909
00:50:32,750 --> 00:50:34,250
本能
910
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,458
这招是什么？
911
00:50:37,500 --> 00:50:39,166
好！ 这招好，这招太好！
912
00:50:39,583 --> 00:50:41,541
这一招新鲜！
913
00:50:46,333 --> 00:50:48,500
没出息，两下子就晕啦
914
00:50:56,791 --> 00:50:57,250
公子
915
00:50:57,666 --> 00:50:58,791
这里实在太危险了
916
00:50:58,833 --> 00:51:00,416
你们快走吧，明天千万不要回来
917
00:51:00,750 --> 00:51:02,125
小姐呢，你放心吧，一切有我！
918
00:51:02,791 --> 00:51:03,875
快走吧！
919
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,166
大眼哥哥
920
00:51:14,958 --> 00:51:16,541
大眼哥哥你别哭啦
921
00:51:17,333 --> 00:51:18,166
你一哭
922
00:51:18,833 --> 00:51:20,458
我就会冲动的！
923
00:51:25,541 --> 00:51:26,833
周通他逼我成亲！
924
00:51:27,666 --> 00:51:28,833
与其让他污辱
925
00:51:29,500 --> 00:51:32,416
我宁愿把我最宝贵的东西…
926
00:51:34,041 --> 00:51:35,166
你不会介意吧？
927
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,041
这个我想我不会介意的！
928
00:51:41,625 --> 00:51:43,041
先喝交杯酒
929
00:51:47,208 --> 00:51:48,125
这就叫做Pop吗？
930
00:51:48,166 --> 00:51:49,250
喝了这杯酒之后
931
00:51:49,666 --> 00:51:51,333
我们就会水乳交融
932
00:51:51,375 --> 00:51:54,166
灵欲一致，翻云覆雨
933
00:51:55,250 --> 00:51:56,708
接着砒霜毒发
934
00:51:57,083 --> 00:52:00,541
我们会肠穿肚烂，痛得死去活来
935
00:52:00,583 --> 00:52:02,291
七孔流血！
936
00:52:03,041 --> 00:52:04,375
为免周通报复
937
00:52:04,666 --> 00:52:06,083
把我们分葬
938
00:52:06,708 --> 00:52:08,375
在我们毒发之前
939
00:52:08,416 --> 00:52:10,083
我们互砍十八刀
940
00:52:10,125 --> 00:52:13,208
然后引火自焚，干柴烈火化为灰烬
941
00:52:13,791 --> 00:52:15,583
你说多浪漫凄迷？
942
00:52:16,375 --> 00:52:17,541
你用不着这么冲动呀！
943
00:52:18,583 --> 00:52:20,625
这样就我中有你，你中有我
944
00:52:21,083 --> 00:52:21,916
到那个时候
945
00:52:22,541 --> 00:52:24,208
就再没人能把我们分开了！
946
00:52:25,041 --> 00:52:26,916
大眼哥哥这的确是个好主意
947
00:52:27,166 --> 00:52:29,583
不过，这世界上还有很多东西你没尝试过
948
00:52:29,916 --> 00:52:30,750
譬如说…
949
00:52:33,333 --> 00:52:34,000
还有…
950
00:52:36,083 --> 00:52:38,541
到时候我怕你不想死呢
951
00:52:41,916 --> 00:52:43,125
抱得紧紧的
952
00:52:43,541 --> 00:52:44,750
眼珠子对眼珠子
953
00:52:45,583 --> 00:52:47,666
第一次你可以说是我逼你
954
00:52:48,041 --> 00:52:50,125
第二次你就抢着上了
955
00:52:51,041 --> 00:52:51,833
看你往那跑！
956
00:52:53,250 --> 00:52:54,125
还在那睡觉？
957
00:52:58,708 --> 00:53:00,041
这下完了
958
00:53:01,666 --> 00:53:02,875
看错人啦！ 上去…上去…
959
00:53:06,625 --> 00:53:08,333
当初你不是看上我不要小姐的吗？
960
00:53:08,375 --> 00:53:09,666
那就抢我吧！
961
00:53:11,750 --> 00:53:13,375
我周通不是一个随随便便的人
962
00:53:13,791 --> 00:53:15,291
我最注重的是礼义廉耻
963
00:53:15,875 --> 00:53:17,208
我答应娶你们家小姐
964
00:53:17,250 --> 00:53:19,166
短期内是一定不会反悔
965
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,750
不过等事成之后呢……
966
00:53:23,416 --> 00:53:25,125
也少不了你呀？！
967
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:27,000
滚开一边去！ 跟我来
968
00:53:35,083 --> 00:53:35,583
把她掀起来！
969
00:53:37,208 --> 00:53:38,500
不要……
970
00:53:39,958 --> 00:53:40,791
别那么粗鲁嘛！
971
00:53:46,458 --> 00:53:47,458
小心点呀！
972
00:53:50,083 --> 00:53:51,291
给我绑…
973
00:53:54,625 --> 00:53:57,250
洞呀房呀，洞呀房呀！
974
00:53:57,541 --> 00:53:59,958
春风入罗帐！
975
00:54:00,708 --> 00:54:05,541
有灯光，有烛火
976
00:54:10,041 --> 00:54:11,625
救命呀，救命呀，大人
977
00:54:13,208 --> 00:54:14,083
幸亏有安全带
978
00:54:14,541 --> 00:54:15,916
救命呀…大人
979
00:54:16,375 --> 00:54:18,708
何方妖孽！ 女人长胡须？
980
00:54:18,750 --> 00:54:20,916
有人抢良家妇女呀！
981
00:54:21,541 --> 00:54:23,166
长胡须还有人抢？
982
00:54:33,041 --> 00:54:34,958
娘子，我整晚绑着你
983
00:54:35,208 --> 00:54:37,333
是怕你胡闯乱撞把娘吵醒了
984
00:54:38,458 --> 00:54:40,125
来…把凤冠霞帔穿上
985
00:54:40,166 --> 00:54:42,625
等娘醒了之后，我们就拜堂
986
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,458
你放心，我知道勉强是没有幸福的
987
00:54:46,750 --> 00:54:47,958
所以我不会逼你
988
00:54:48,541 --> 00:54:50,000
我们先试婚三个月
989
00:54:50,041 --> 00:54:52,500
等感情培养好了再洞房也不迟
990
00:54:53,625 --> 00:54:56,750
我周通是最通情理的
991
00:54:57,791 --> 00:54:59,541
大哥，有两位衙差要抓你呀！
992
00:54:59,791 --> 00:55:00,625
抓我？
993
00:55:00,666 --> 00:55:02,166
他们要带你去录口供！
994
00:55:02,208 --> 00:55:04,041
有人告你拐带良家妇女，非法禁锢
995
00:55:04,083 --> 00:55:05,625
严重性骚扰，以及性别歧视
996
00:55:05,666 --> 00:55:07,750
跟意图轮奸
997
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:08,916
居然惊动官府啦？
998
00:55:09,250 --> 00:55:10,416
替我看着未来大嫂
999
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,166
可怒！
1000
00:55:16,916 --> 00:55:19,083
大哥居然搞同性恋？！
1001
00:55:22,791 --> 00:55:23,625
你究竟是什么人？
1002
00:55:24,833 --> 00:55:26,916
我就是沙田大围来的高柏飞
1003
00:55:30,583 --> 00:55:33,666
你万万想不到你的未来大嫂是个男人吧？
1004
00:55:34,791 --> 00:55:36,750
我之所以这么做，无非是想-----
1005
00:55:37,666 --> 00:55:38,291
泡你！
1006
00:55:44,666 --> 00:55:47,458
升堂！
1007
00:55:48,041 --> 00:55:52,500
贪…
1008
00:55:52,541 --> 00:55:55,458
污…
1009
00:55:56,916 --> 00:55:57,875
小女的事拜托了！
1010
00:55:58,750 --> 00:56:01,125
我跟你是老朋友，一定帮你的
1011
00:56:01,416 --> 00:56:03,041
何况你还带着证据
1012
00:56:04,250 --> 00:56:05,583
通爷，你请喝茶
1013
00:56:05,625 --> 00:56:06,125
行…
1014
00:56:07,291 --> 00:56:10,041
在我的场子坐台，还玩我的令牌？
1015
00:56:10,083 --> 00:56:12,875
大人，周公子带了很多要命的证据来呀
1016
00:56:18,125 --> 00:56:20,291
快点判，老子赶时间
1017
00:56:21,458 --> 00:56:22,708
现在证据确凿
1018
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:24,500
本案已经水落石出
1019
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:28,791
周公子一心为母亲冲喜，孝感动天
1020
00:56:29,208 --> 00:56:30,166
本官宣判
1021
00:56:30,416 --> 00:56:31,708
周通无罪释放！
1022
00:56:32,333 --> 00:56:33,083
退堂！
1023
00:56:33,666 --> 00:56:36,125
大人，你忘了我们二十多年的交情啦？
1024
00:56:36,500 --> 00:56:38,583
公堂之上，谁跟你讲交情？
1025
00:56:38,916 --> 00:56:39,833
只讲证据
1026
00:56:40,291 --> 00:56:41,958
你的证据，太薄弱了！
1027
00:56:42,250 --> 00:56:44,666
那我回去补票去
1028
00:56:45,250 --> 00:56:47,416
现在才补票？ 已经过终点啦！
1029
00:56:47,833 --> 00:56:48,875
下一场吧！
1030
00:56:49,458 --> 00:56:51,166
你机灵点，一出手就下重注！
1031
00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:52,750
就是嘛，岳父大人
1032
00:56:53,208 --> 00:56:54,500
你不如回家打扮打扮
1033
00:56:55,166 --> 00:56:56,625
准备喝我的喜酒吧
1034
00:56:56,666 --> 00:56:57,166
是呀…
1035
00:56:57,208 --> 00:56:58,375
我现在不告周通了
1036
00:56:58,958 --> 00:56:59,541
那就一块吃饭吧！
1037
00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:02,333
我告你这个王八蛋芝麻绿豆七品小官
1038
00:57:02,375 --> 00:57:04,083
我告上京去，告得你掉裤子
1039
00:57:04,500 --> 00:57:06,375
看谁掉裤子，跟我脱
1040
00:57:06,666 --> 00:57:08,375
干嘛脱我裤子？ 喂…
1041
00:57:09,333 --> 00:57:10,125
干什么呀
1042
00:57:10,791 --> 00:57:12,958
你诬告忠良，辱骂清官
1043
00:57:13,500 --> 00:57:14,625
重打七十大板
1044
00:57:18,208 --> 00:57:19,791
敢打我的岳父大人？
1045
00:57:20,166 --> 00:57:21,458
随便打三十大板
1046
00:57:21,750 --> 00:57:23,000
三十才对
1047
00:57:23,041 --> 00:57:24,041
再加三十大板
1048
00:57:24,291 --> 00:57:25,708
整一百大板
1049
00:57:30,375 --> 00:57:32,166
好爽呀！
1050
00:57:33,500 --> 00:57:35,541
话说达赖喇嘛终于成为我的奶奶之后
1051
00:57:35,583 --> 00:57:38,125
他告诉我今天会泡上我最爱的人
1052
00:57:39,166 --> 00:57:39,708
干什么？
1053
00:57:40,625 --> 00:57:41,833
好甜呀！
1054
00:57:42,208 --> 00:57:43,958
很甜吗？ 你慢慢享受！
1055
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:44,458
我走先了！
1056
00:57:44,500 --> 00:57:48,875
别走呀！ 你刚才说得我起鸡皮疙瘩
1057
00:57:48,916 --> 00:57:50,333
能不能再说一次
1058
00:57:50,375 --> 00:57:51,708
我怕我忘了怎么说的！
1059
00:57:52,125 --> 00:57:53,250
那要把它录下来！
1060
00:57:53,500 --> 00:57:54,291
录下来？
1061
00:57:54,333 --> 00:57:56,125
用纸笔把它抄录下来
1062
00:57:57,333 --> 00:57:58,708
你不是说泡我吗？
1063
00:57:59,083 --> 00:57:59,875
你接受我泡吗？
1064
00:58:00,333 --> 00:58:00,875
接受！
1065
00:58:01,166 --> 00:58:02,208
那我已经泡啦！
1066
00:58:03,833 --> 00:58:04,583
这样就算泡啦？
1067
00:58:04,625 --> 00:58:06,291
不算不算…再泡一次
1068
00:58:06,333 --> 00:58:07,125
你冷静点！
1069
00:58:07,416 --> 00:58:08,791
你是天生丽质的尤物
1070
00:58:09,333 --> 00:58:10,541
全东南亚都知道呀！
1071
00:58:11,791 --> 00:58:13,833
而我，只是凡夫俗子
1072
00:58:13,875 --> 00:58:16,125
对你，只能远观不能亵玩
1073
00:58:16,583 --> 00:58:17,666
无所谓，你就玩吧！
1074
00:58:17,958 --> 00:58:19,166
我配不起你呀
1075
00:58:19,208 --> 00:58:20,416
我不介意！
1076
00:58:20,916 --> 00:58:22,041
我心理变态
1077
00:58:22,333 --> 00:58:23,750
我倒贴替你医治
1078
00:58:24,708 --> 00:58:25,875
我下流淫贱
1079
00:58:26,125 --> 00:58:29,083
我更贱，来…我们上床亵玩，来呀！
1080
00:58:29,125 --> 00:58:30,416
够了，死三八！
1081
00:58:40,916 --> 00:58:41,666
放手呀！
1082
00:58:46,583 --> 00:58:48,416
你很结实的，这么能捱打？
1083
00:58:53,875 --> 00:58:57,833
看来我得使出杀手鐧了
1084
00:58:58,375 --> 00:58:59,500
烈焰红唇！
1085
00:59:01,250 --> 00:59:04,000
任何异性都抵挡不了我这一招的！
1086
00:59:14,333 --> 00:59:15,541
你放肆！
1087
00:59:17,125 --> 00:59:19,375
老太太，你也想试试呀？
1088
00:59:20,875 --> 00:59:21,625
闭咀！
1089
00:59:21,666 --> 00:59:22,500
老娘不想亲你
1090
00:59:23,666 --> 00:59:24,541
看看这一招
1091
00:59:29,416 --> 00:59:31,916
妖…妖…妖怪！
1092
00:59:33,625 --> 00:59:35,458
吓着自己了吧？
1093
00:59:39,583 --> 00:59:40,375
小姐呢？
1094
00:59:40,416 --> 00:59:41,375
我替你安排
1095
00:59:43,041 --> 00:59:44,458
哼！ 告我
1096
00:59:46,791 --> 00:59:49,333
娘子，换好衣裳，咱们就去拜堂
1097
00:59:50,083 --> 00:59:51,250
你用不着害臊的
1098
00:59:53,208 --> 00:59:54,916
娘子，你的身子真香！
1099
00:59:56,333 --> 00:59:58,208
小蛮腰像柳丝
1100
00:59:58,916 --> 01:00:00,916
臀部丰满诱人
1101
01:00:01,541 --> 01:00:04,833
双腿还很修长呢！
1102
01:00:05,625 --> 01:00:06,666
吓？ 娘？！
1103
01:00:19,541 --> 01:00:21,000
何方妖怪？
1104
01:00:23,750 --> 01:00:24,875
龙珠？
1105
01:00:38,166 --> 01:00:39,958
她面上的老鼠斑好可怕呀，快走吧
1106
01:00:57,833 --> 01:00:59,166
洛阳果然多壮阳
1107
01:00:59,541 --> 01:01:00,875
姑娘，你从外地来的吗？
1108
01:01:01,708 --> 01:01:02,666
干什么？
1109
01:01:02,708 --> 01:01:04,208
有兴趣找个伴游吗？
1110
01:01:04,958 --> 01:01:05,875
多少钱？
1111
01:01:05,916 --> 01:01:07,208
一百二十两有交易
1112
01:01:07,250 --> 01:01:08,375
素质怎么样？
1113
01:01:08,875 --> 01:01:10,500
包你满意，身材一流，没生过孩子
1114
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:12,125
哼！ 男人当然没生过孩子啦！
1115
01:01:12,458 --> 01:01:14,166
是没让客人生过孩子！
1116
01:01:14,666 --> 01:01:16,166
保证安全！ 先看看货办！
1117
01:01:17,833 --> 01:01:19,541
这个曾经得过很多的奖
1118
01:01:19,875 --> 01:01:20,458
现在呢？
1119
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:21,833
现在就看看这位吧
1120
01:01:22,500 --> 01:01:23,625
他得过奖没有？
1121
01:01:23,666 --> 01:01:25,041
他想得奖想得快疯了
1122
01:01:25,083 --> 01:01:27,625
不过他最近做老板了，得不得奖也无所谓
1123
01:01:27,666 --> 01:01:28,500
那就是没有啦
1124
01:01:28,791 --> 01:01:29,250
无所谓罗…
1125
01:01:30,666 --> 01:01:31,500
这个呢？
1126
01:01:32,375 --> 01:01:33,625
这个恐怕你受不了！
1127
01:01:34,541 --> 01:01:35,291
为什么？
1128
01:01:35,625 --> 01:01:36,666
他亲口向我证实…
1129
01:01:36,916 --> 01:01:38,375
说他随时随地都要
1130
01:01:39,291 --> 01:01:39,958
这个好呀！
1131
01:01:40,541 --> 01:01:42,041
那你先付帐我替你开房
1132
01:01:45,041 --> 01:01:46,041
公子，幸亏遇见你
1133
01:01:46,083 --> 01:01:47,125
小姐在楼上等着你呀
1134
01:01:48,041 --> 01:01:48,916
什么客栈？
1135
01:01:49,208 --> 01:01:51,125
小霸王到处找她，只好躲起来
1136
01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:52,833
她急死了，你快上去
1137
01:01:53,458 --> 01:01:54,708
来呀…来呀
1138
01:01:55,250 --> 01:01:57,625
你拿这些钱，到市集去买点吃的
1139
01:01:57,666 --> 01:01:59,125
天黑之前你不要回来
1140
01:01:59,708 --> 01:02:00,791
那要买这么久呀
1141
01:02:03,333 --> 01:02:04,125
行了吧？
1142
01:02:04,166 --> 01:02:05,833
买到天亮了，才回来！
1143
01:02:06,166 --> 01:02:07,125
回来！
1144
01:02:07,916 --> 01:02:08,458
钥匙呢？
1145
01:02:09,416 --> 01:02:10,500
楼上左拐第二间
1146
01:02:35,875 --> 01:02:37,291
左拐第二间？
1147
01:02:56,833 --> 01:02:58,458
真骚包
1148
01:02:59,333 --> 01:03:00,166
不过我喜欢
1149
01:03:19,833 --> 01:03:21,166
这把刀怎么这么钝呀？！
1150
01:03:25,291 --> 01:03:26,958
从这边数过来，一，二
1151
01:03:43,833 --> 01:03:46,125
还原基本法
1152
01:03:47,333 --> 01:03:50,041
妈哩妈哩哄！
1153
01:03:59,166 --> 01:04:00,416
不好意思，让你久等了
1154
01:04:01,083 --> 01:04:03,291
你要我温柔还是粗鲁呢呀？
1155
01:04:03,583 --> 01:04:04,250
粗……
1156
01:04:04,291 --> 01:04:04,708
粗……
1157
01:04:15,291 --> 01:04:16,500
怎么害臊呀？
1158
01:04:17,833 --> 01:04:18,500
挡着眼睛干什么？
1159
01:04:18,541 --> 01:04:19,333
把手拿开呀
1160
01:04:25,666 --> 01:04:26,708
你真是美艳动人呀
1161
01:04:27,250 --> 01:04:28,458
全美加都知道啦
1162
01:04:28,500 --> 01:04:29,583
我配不起你
1163
01:04:29,833 --> 01:04:31,666
我给你钱！ 莫非你要走？！
1164
01:04:32,458 --> 01:04:36,000
不错！ 我之所以这么做，因为我…
1165
01:04:36,750 --> 01:04:37,333
…我爱你！
1166
01:04:39,458 --> 01:04:40,708
我需要金钱交易
1167
01:04:41,458 --> 01:04:42,750
就是因为我不要爱
1168
01:04:43,458 --> 01:04:44,666
我要做爱！
1169
01:04:45,208 --> 01:04:46,000
我帮不了你
1170
01:05:19,583 --> 01:05:22,083
你这个女淫魔想要我的童贞，这下完了
1171
01:05:25,708 --> 01:05:26,625
我最讨厌男人哭了
1172
01:05:26,666 --> 01:05:27,375
去死吧！
1173
01:05:28,416 --> 01:05:30,583
你是不是被姑婆强逼收贵利
1174
01:05:30,625 --> 01:05:31,083
不是！
1175
01:05:31,666 --> 01:05:32,625
你老爸生乳癌，是不是？
1176
01:05:32,666 --> 01:05:33,375
不是，我是被奸人所害呀
1177
01:05:35,833 --> 01:05:37,500
难道又是那个小霸王周通
1178
01:05:37,541 --> 01:05:38,083
正是
1179
01:05:40,791 --> 01:05:42,000
救命呀！
1180
01:05:42,041 --> 01:05:44,541
收了钱不做，老板知道会打的
1181
01:05:44,583 --> 01:05:46,291
不要…救命呀…
1182
01:05:46,708 --> 01:05:48,000
你没有老板说得那么丑？！
1183
01:05:51,916 --> 01:05:53,625
去你的！ 雪仙你没事吧？
1184
01:05:53,666 --> 01:05:56,291
朋友，侍候三个人，不是这个价钱！
1185
01:05:56,583 --> 01:05:58,458
还说是星爷，简直是货不对办！
1186
01:05:58,500 --> 01:05:59,708
我也是星呀！
1187
01:05:59,750 --> 01:06:00,500
去你妈的星！
1188
01:06:02,333 --> 01:06:04,541
快告诉我，小霸王是怎么样逼害你们的？
1189
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:11,000
快点快点上轿
1190
01:06:13,958 --> 01:06:15,708
周大爷…周大爷
1191
01:06:15,958 --> 01:06:17,791
跟我周通斗你还差很远呢！
1192
01:06:18,208 --> 01:06:19,250
上路
1193
01:06:19,291 --> 01:06:22,666
洞房…洞房
1194
01:06:24,541 --> 01:06:26,041
我的女儿呀…
1195
01:06:29,458 --> 01:06:30,666
喝了这杯媳妇茶…
1196
01:06:30,708 --> 01:06:31,583
不必说了！
1197
01:06:31,625 --> 01:06:32,541
娘，喝茶吧！
1198
01:06:39,166 --> 01:06:40,458
怎么啦？ 怎么啦？
1199
01:06:42,083 --> 01:06:42,958
娘呀，娘呀…
1200
01:06:58,416 --> 01:07:01,041
青春，真可爱青春…
1201
01:07:01,083 --> 01:07:02,583
白天要青春
1202
01:07:02,625 --> 01:07:03,375
晚上就嬉春…青春…
1203
01:07:04,416 --> 01:07:06,250
娘，你终于复元了
1204
01:07:07,458 --> 01:07:10,125
今天晚上我会为你制造一个白白胖胖的孙子
1205
01:07:13,708 --> 01:07:16,333
春宵一刻值千金
1206
01:07:17,875 --> 01:07:19,791
明珠玉女等新郎
1207
01:07:21,083 --> 01:07:23,583
如此洞房花烛夜
1208
01:07:25,208 --> 01:07:28,208
何须丫环伴身旁！
1209
01:07:29,125 --> 01:07:30,458
爽呀！
1210
01:07:43,250 --> 01:07:46,291
娘子，我们喝交杯酒吧
1211
01:07:47,708 --> 01:07:49,250
难为情呀？
1212
01:07:51,250 --> 01:07:52,166
对，对，对，对
1213
01:07:52,958 --> 01:07:55,875
先喝杯喝，待会儿飘飘欲仙的时候
1214
01:07:56,250 --> 01:07:57,833
那我们就…
1215
01:08:03,375 --> 01:08:05,500
喝完交杯酒我们就开始洞房！
1216
01:08:06,625 --> 01:08:09,500
好刺眼，人家害羞嘛！
1217
01:08:10,083 --> 01:08:11,583
果然是未经人事！
1218
01:08:12,625 --> 01:08:16,125
过了今天晚上那你可就是经一事长一智了
1219
01:08:23,583 --> 01:08:26,833
娘子，你希望我温柔点还是粗鲁一点呢？
1220
01:08:26,875 --> 01:08:27,583
粗呀！
1221
01:08:28,625 --> 01:08:29,375
我也是
1222
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:35,833
看来今天晚上会有一场轰轰烈烈翻云覆雨
1223
01:08:38,666 --> 01:08:40,250
现在你看不见我，我也看不见你
1224
01:08:40,541 --> 01:08:41,625
那不是更浪漫？
1225
01:08:51,708 --> 01:08:53,500
哎呀呀…
1226
01:08:55,041 --> 01:09:00,291
吓得我胆颤心寒呀…
1227
01:09:02,958 --> 01:09:05,750
周通，你这欺负女人的败类
1228
01:09:05,791 --> 01:09:07,041
我现在要替天行房
1229
01:09:07,416 --> 01:09:08,333
你逃不掉了！
1230
01:10:20,083 --> 01:10:20,708
你究竟是什么人？
1231
01:10:21,541 --> 01:10:23,625
开封有个母夜叉
1232
01:10:23,666 --> 01:10:25,083
你不会唱就不要乱唱
1233
01:10:25,541 --> 01:10:27,166
我不是娶你，滚！
1234
01:10:32,958 --> 01:10:34,041
拜了堂就是夫妻
1235
01:10:34,083 --> 01:10:35,875
怎能说走就走呢？
1236
01:11:02,916 --> 01:11:04,500
明年可以抱孙子罗！
1237
01:11:05,125 --> 01:11:06,666
妒忌死我了！
1238
01:11:21,166 --> 01:11:22,416
你老实地告诉我
1239
01:11:22,916 --> 01:11:24,916
在我之前你有多少个女人？
1240
01:11:26,083 --> 01:11:29,791
让我数一数，一，二，三
1241
01:11:31,666 --> 01:11:33,375
太多了！ 数不完
1242
01:11:33,416 --> 01:11:34,708
不过从现在开始
1243
01:11:35,208 --> 01:11:37,375
我把你当成菩萨一样
1244
01:11:37,416 --> 01:11:39,458
只侍候你一个人，好不好？
1245
01:11:44,708 --> 01:11:46,208
在我之前你有多少男人？
1246
01:11:47,750 --> 01:11:49,708
李公子，黄公子
1247
01:11:49,750 --> 01:11:50,791
小张，老刘…
1248
01:11:52,208 --> 01:11:53,500
跟你开玩笑的
1249
01:11:53,541 --> 01:11:55,708
只有你一个！ 傻瓜
1250
01:11:57,291 --> 01:11:58,500
傻瓜要教训你
1251
01:12:10,125 --> 01:12:13,666
你要答应照顾我一辈子
1252
01:12:13,916 --> 01:12:14,875
不要骗我呀！
1253
01:12:15,250 --> 01:12:15,875
我最恨男人哭了
1254
01:12:16,416 --> 01:12:16,875
去死啦你！
1255
01:12:22,666 --> 01:12:23,958
救命呀
1256
01:12:29,333 --> 01:12:32,791
可怜我这个残花…
1257
01:12:33,708 --> 01:12:35,541
败柳
1258
01:12:43,375 --> 01:12:46,041
哗大哥，你的样子好憔悴哦！
1259
01:12:46,625 --> 01:12:47,958
娘为了想抱孙子
1260
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:49,541
让你这么辛苦，真是难为你了
1261
01:12:50,375 --> 01:12:51,875
我还是上去看看媳妇
1262
01:12:52,125 --> 01:12:54,166
娘，不要呀，她长得很丑
1263
01:12:54,708 --> 01:12:55,916
丑妇终需见家婆嘛
1264
01:12:56,208 --> 01:12:57,625
别拦着我，让我上去
1265
01:13:03,791 --> 01:13:04,791
媳妇她…她…
1266
01:13:04,833 --> 01:13:05,833
实在很丑是吧？
1267
01:13:05,875 --> 01:13:07,125
实在太漂亮了
1268
01:13:08,166 --> 01:13:09,041
娘，你别吓儿子！
1269
01:13:09,500 --> 01:13:10,500
儿子，你别吓娘！
1270
01:13:10,791 --> 01:13:12,208
大哥，你露三点！
1271
01:13:12,250 --> 01:13:14,958
母夜叉传染给我的，麻疯病初期呀！
1272
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:16,333
你们俩个避远点
1273
01:13:16,375 --> 01:13:17,333
不然我们全家就完了
1274
01:13:17,375 --> 01:13:19,333
不会呀！ 媳妇这么漂亮，怎么会有麻疯呢？
1275
01:13:21,041 --> 01:13:23,208
她采阴补阳就跑到我脸上来了！
1276
01:13:23,250 --> 01:13:24,458
你这臭娘们！
1277
01:13:32,833 --> 01:13:34,375
老公…老公
1278
01:13:35,416 --> 01:13:36,708
你怎么啦？ 没事吧？
1279
01:13:36,750 --> 01:13:37,500
摔痛了没有？
1280
01:13:37,833 --> 01:13:39,208
老婆，你那块老鼠斑呢…
1281
01:13:40,375 --> 01:13:41,583
这是家族遗传
1282
01:13:42,375 --> 01:13:44,166
一跟男人行房就会消失的
1283
01:13:44,625 --> 01:13:46,291
我娘说她以前也是这样
1284
01:13:47,125 --> 01:13:48,416
你那个不是老鼠斑…
1285
01:13:48,458 --> 01:13:49,791
是老处女斑！
1286
01:13:49,833 --> 01:13:50,583
好讨厌！
1287
01:13:50,625 --> 01:13:53,958
老公，我那三个胎痣已经在你脸上
1288
01:13:54,208 --> 01:13:56,500
以后你就是我的人，要遵从三从四德
1289
01:13:56,541 --> 01:13:57,500
什么？
1290
01:13:57,791 --> 01:13:59,583
我是说我会好好地伺候你的
1291
01:14:00,458 --> 01:14:03,708
其实男人脸上有那些东西还挺有性格的
1292
01:14:04,750 --> 01:14:05,791
不过你想清楚
1293
01:14:05,833 --> 01:14:08,833
你还有没有把什么乱七八糟的玩意过到我身上？
1294
01:14:09,083 --> 01:14:11,166
死相，当然没有啦！
1295
01:14:11,666 --> 01:14:12,375
那还好
1296
01:14:14,625 --> 01:14:15,291
怎么了？
1297
01:14:15,791 --> 01:14:18,291
老公，你越来越有男人味了！
1298
01:14:18,958 --> 01:14:20,916
老婆，你也越来越有女人味了
1299
01:14:24,375 --> 01:14:25,666
恭喜小姐贺喜小姐
1300
01:14:25,708 --> 01:14:26,833
有什么可喜可贺的？
1301
01:14:26,875 --> 01:14:28,791
林嘉声高中状元，衣锦还乡呀！
1302
01:14:28,833 --> 01:14:30,875
你说什么，哎哋…
1303
01:14:30,916 --> 01:14:32,166
相公？！
1304
01:14:32,208 --> 01:14:33,083
贤婿？！
1305
01:14:33,708 --> 01:14:36,041
娘，我要回去梳梳头
1306
01:14:36,625 --> 01:14:38,583
好…快去化化妆补补粉
1307
01:14:39,500 --> 01:14:40,583
贤婿…
1308
01:14:58,875 --> 01:15:00,208
快，快，快，快！
1309
01:15:02,625 --> 01:15:03,666
状元大人！
1310
01:15:05,250 --> 01:15:06,583
停，停，停
1311
01:15:11,541 --> 01:15:12,791
我忘了解安全带了
1312
01:15:13,458 --> 01:15:14,458
状元大人！
1313
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:22,750
状元大人，下官有失远迎，请恕罪
1314
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:23,791
该罚该罚
1315
01:15:23,833 --> 01:15:24,500
来人呀！
1316
01:15:26,375 --> 01:15:29,458
古语有云: 书中自有黄金屋
1317
01:15:30,166 --> 01:15:34,041
状元大人，不知道你喜不喜欢这本书？
1318
01:15:35,541 --> 01:15:38,041
你糟了，大人不止是状元
1319
01:15:38,083 --> 01:15:42,125
还是当今圣上特派廉政专员公署的廉政先锋
1320
01:15:43,500 --> 01:15:44,583
押起来
1321
01:15:45,833 --> 01:15:47,166
冤枉呀冤枉呀…
1322
01:15:47,208 --> 01:15:48,041
现在不是事必要你说
1323
01:15:48,083 --> 01:15:50,500
可是你所说的一切将会成为呈堂证供
1324
01:15:50,541 --> 01:15:51,250
押他去充军
1325
01:15:52,041 --> 01:15:53,708
状元大人，不去充行不行？
1326
01:15:53,750 --> 01:15:54,625
行！
1327
01:15:54,666 --> 01:15:55,708
去做军妓吧
1328
01:15:56,458 --> 01:15:58,375
军妓？ 那我岂不是屁眼开花了
1329
01:16:01,166 --> 01:16:02,125
有刺客
1330
01:16:02,166 --> 01:16:02,791
林嘉声
1331
01:16:03,791 --> 01:16:04,583
你是什么人？
1332
01:16:04,875 --> 01:16:06,333
你不认识我啦？
1333
01:16:06,375 --> 01:16:08,541
开封有个母夜叉
1334
01:16:09,041 --> 01:16:10,208
哎哋，恩公？！
1335
01:16:10,625 --> 01:16:11,750
…不是！ 是恩婆
1336
01:16:12,583 --> 01:16:13,708
你怎么变得这么漂亮？
1337
01:16:14,083 --> 01:16:16,458
难道你去东瀛整容？！
1338
01:16:17,791 --> 01:16:19,458
哎哋我可真是鸿福齐天哪！
1339
01:16:19,500 --> 01:16:21,291
你去整容是等我以身相许吗？
1340
01:16:22,083 --> 01:16:23,333
我已经许配了人家啦
1341
01:16:23,750 --> 01:16:25,416
别拦着我！ 走开！
1342
01:16:26,166 --> 01:16:27,375
好妹夫
1343
01:16:29,250 --> 01:16:30,125
老公…
1344
01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:32,041
小霸王？！
1345
01:16:32,666 --> 01:16:35,166
你那三点居然转移阵地，还嫁给周通这种人？！
1346
01:16:36,708 --> 01:16:37,666
贤婿
1347
01:16:37,708 --> 01:16:40,083
太君，你对我恩重如山，请受本官一拜
1348
01:16:40,708 --> 01:16:42,208
自己人何必这么客气？！
1349
01:16:42,500 --> 01:16:45,333
阿吉那死丫头天天都在想着你呀
1350
01:16:45,375 --> 01:16:46,250
她想我死！
1351
01:16:46,541 --> 01:16:49,625
话不能这么说，俗话说一夜夫妻百日恩嘛！
1352
01:16:49,666 --> 01:16:50,666
我们恩尽义绝
1353
01:16:51,500 --> 01:16:54,833
你总该想想当初你投靠我，我怎么照顾过你
1354
01:16:54,875 --> 01:16:56,666
是呀，你也该念在当初你没有投靠我
1355
01:16:56,708 --> 01:16:58,208
我也照顾你吗？
1356
01:16:58,250 --> 01:17:00,791
是呀，你委屈点，将就一下，算了…
1357
01:17:00,833 --> 01:17:01,875
我将就不了！
1358
01:17:01,916 --> 01:17:08,208
老公…老公呀…老公…
1359
01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:10,666
死丫头，看你一脸的粉
1360
01:17:10,708 --> 01:17:14,875
老公…我是个容易受伤的女人
1361
01:17:14,916 --> 01:17:15,666
摆闸！
1362
01:17:15,708 --> 01:17:16,250
是！
1363
01:17:16,791 --> 01:17:18,375
老公…老公…
1364
01:17:19,250 --> 01:17:22,375
你是陈世美！ 我跟你拼了…
1365
01:17:22,416 --> 01:17:23,250
住口！
1366
01:17:23,291 --> 01:17:25,666
当初你多次留难，把我百般凌辱
1367
01:17:26,041 --> 01:17:29,333
现在要我认你为妻，除非你肯做三件天底下最难的事
1368
01:17:32,541 --> 01:17:35,833
首先是尝尝袴下之辱的滋味
1369
01:17:37,958 --> 01:17:39,916
我愿意！
1370
01:17:41,541 --> 01:17:42,375
状元裤裆下面钻
1371
01:17:42,875 --> 01:17:44,125
一生荣华又富贵！
1372
01:17:44,541 --> 01:17:45,083
够不够？
1373
01:17:45,125 --> 01:17:46,291
不够就再转一圈？
1374
01:17:47,125 --> 01:17:48,333
打一盆水让她洗脚！
1375
01:17:52,625 --> 01:17:54,291
死丫头，还不快脱鞋子？
1376
01:17:54,333 --> 01:17:54,625
脱呀！
1377
01:17:56,791 --> 01:17:58,166
臭…好臭…
1378
01:18:07,791 --> 01:18:09,541
我不是叫你勤洗臭脚吗？
1379
01:18:09,583 --> 01:18:10,541
你居然当耳边风！
1380
01:18:10,875 --> 01:18:12,833
现在，我就罚你把这盆洗脚水喝了
1381
01:18:23,958 --> 01:18:24,708
等等！
1382
01:18:24,958 --> 01:18:27,333
状元大人，当初你留书出走
1383
01:18:27,375 --> 01:18:28,416
是留给我的
1384
01:18:28,791 --> 01:18:31,250
我的女儿脚臭是我管教无方
1385
01:18:31,791 --> 01:18:34,250
就让我这没用的老太婆，代她喝了吧！
1386
01:18:34,541 --> 01:18:36,208
不行，娘，我来喝，你不可以喝
1387
01:18:36,458 --> 01:18:37,416
喝了会肠穿肚烂生乳癌的，你别喝呀！ 你不能…
1388
01:18:38,833 --> 01:18:39,583
别吵了
1389
01:18:40,166 --> 01:18:42,041
好一对荡母痴女！
1390
01:18:42,833 --> 01:18:44,250
母亲坦荡荡
1391
01:18:44,291 --> 01:18:46,125
女儿白痴痴
1392
01:18:46,166 --> 01:18:46,625
算了吧！
1393
01:18:47,166 --> 01:18:48,125
多谢相公！
1394
01:18:48,166 --> 01:18:49,708
慢着！ 还有第三关！
1395
01:18:50,958 --> 01:18:52,541
喂…你妹妹在上面唱戏呀？
1396
01:18:52,583 --> 01:18:53,916
这一幕叫阳台擒夫
1397
01:18:55,625 --> 01:18:57,250
你听说过覆水难收吗？
1398
01:18:57,291 --> 01:18:58,083
富水？
1399
01:18:58,125 --> 01:19:00,250
谁是富水呀，有没有叫富水的在这里？
1400
01:19:00,291 --> 01:19:01,291
这就是说
1401
01:19:01,583 --> 01:19:03,916
泼出去的水，是不可能收回来的
1402
01:19:04,708 --> 01:19:06,291
你想要我认你为妻
1403
01:19:06,333 --> 01:19:07,750
除非是覆水重收
1404
01:19:07,791 --> 01:19:09,208
来人，给她一个空盆！
1405
01:19:11,333 --> 01:19:13,541
我要自杀，娘怎么办？ 我要自杀
1406
01:19:14,125 --> 01:19:15,583
幸亏你大哥在此
1407
01:19:16,000 --> 01:19:16,916
妹夫
1408
01:19:16,958 --> 01:19:17,958
不敢当！
1409
01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:18,625
别挡着
1410
01:19:19,250 --> 01:19:21,666
大人，说话要算话
1411
01:19:22,083 --> 01:19:24,833
如果能把水接住，你是不是肯要我妹妹？
1412
01:19:24,875 --> 01:19:26,041
绝不食言
1413
01:19:26,083 --> 01:19:27,166
可惜没有人做得到
1414
01:19:27,750 --> 01:19:28,458
等着瞧
1415
01:19:29,000 --> 01:19:30,750
准备接我这盘臭水吧
1416
01:19:31,333 --> 01:19:32,875
大哥，你小心点，你要帮我！
1417
01:19:33,208 --> 01:19:35,833
你有没有把握呀？ 小心点，我的终身幸福都在你手上了
1418
01:19:36,708 --> 01:19:37,750
你要帮我…小心小心…
1419
01:19:53,000 --> 01:19:53,875
行啦
1420
01:20:04,583 --> 01:20:05,875
大哥
1421
01:20:06,666 --> 01:20:07,916
全接着了
1422
01:20:07,958 --> 01:20:08,958
老公，好棒哦！
1423
01:20:11,916 --> 01:20:13,041
还有一滴
1424
01:20:19,625 --> 01:20:21,000
抱紧你妹妹！
1425
01:20:24,375 --> 01:20:24,958
小心呀
1426
01:20:26,375 --> 01:20:28,250
努力…加油
1427
01:21:06,083 --> 01:21:06,416
成了成了
1428
01:21:06,458 --> 01:21:07,416
我是状元夫人了
1429
01:21:18,125 --> 01:21:20,666
天意天意！ 我如果再娶你…
1430
01:21:20,708 --> 01:21:21,666
会遭天谴的
1431
01:21:22,208 --> 01:21:24,541
状元大人，天无绝人之路
1432
01:21:25,208 --> 01:21:25,750
我来
1433
01:21:27,291 --> 01:21:28,208
妈哩妈哩哄
1434
01:21:28,625 --> 01:21:30,125
还原基本法！
1435
01:21:33,916 --> 01:21:35,416
老公…慢慢来
1436
01:21:38,333 --> 01:21:39,541
差点点
1437
01:21:40,166 --> 01:21:42,083
再加我的烈艳红唇就成了
1438
01:21:52,500 --> 01:21:53,416
覆水能收了
1439
01:21:53,458 --> 01:21:54,250
成了
1440
01:21:54,291 --> 01:21:56,791
状元大人，搞定了，怎么样呀？
1441
01:21:57,375 --> 01:21:58,875
财神爷！ 击掌吧
1442
01:22:02,041 --> 01:22:02,916
老公，你真行呀！
1443
01:22:02,958 --> 01:22:04,125
是吗？
1444
01:22:04,458 --> 01:22:06,458
什么事那么高兴呀女婿？
1445
01:22:06,916 --> 01:22:08,291
岳父，周太君女婿中状元啦！
1446
01:22:08,333 --> 01:22:08,666
是吗？
1447
01:22:08,916 --> 01:22:09,375
我们去恭喜他们？
1448
01:22:09,416 --> 01:22:10,333
应该的
1449
01:22:26,250 --> 01:22:27,916
打道回府
1450
01:22:28,500 --> 01:22:29,833
娶了我，你很不开心是不是？
1451
01:22:29,875 --> 01:22:30,625
脚好臭！ 回去洗脚
1452
01:22:30,666 --> 01:22:30,958
哦！
1453
01:22:31,250 --> 01:22:33,166
老公，真是太美满了
1454
01:22:33,208 --> 01:22:34,541
喜剧的大结局嘛
1455
01:22:34,958 --> 01:22:36,125
老婆，我们回家生儿子去？！
1456
01:22:36,166 --> 01:22:36,875
好呀好呀
1457
01:22:45,458 --> 01:22:48,000
别睡…别睡！ 别睡！
1458
01:22:48,708 --> 01:22:49,958
恭喜发财…别睡呀！
1459
01:22:50,708 --> 01:22:53,708
齐欢唱
1460
01:22:56,000 --> 01:22:59,291
花田囍事
1461
01:23:01,416 --> 01:23:06,666
美满收场
1462
01:23:13,708 --> 01:23:16,750
恭喜发财
96004
