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All language subtitles for 55. Shanghai Knights 2003

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,247 (WIND WHISTLING) 2 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:03,015 - (SPEAKING MANDARIN) - (GASPS) 3 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,474 (CREAKING) 4 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,396 (CLICKS) 5 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:25,704 (SPEAKING MANDARIN) 6 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,146 (WIND WHISTLING) 7 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,942 (SWISHING) 8 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,162 Ugh! 9 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:14,378 Boxers! 10 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:15,545 (BLADE CLINKS) 11 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,847 (METAL CLINKING) 12 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,634 Not one step further. 13 00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:04,928 The keeper of the Imperial Seal, 14 00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:08,849 just the man I was looking for. 15 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,058 Ah! 16 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,061 A woman. 17 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,731 You Chinese are very progressive. 18 00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:17,024 Hai! Ai! 19 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:19,651 (GRUNTING) 20 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:31,079 Ugh! 21 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,254 (MAN GRUNTING) 22 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,297 Yah! 23 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:43,884 Ugh! 24 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,180 (CLATTERING) 25 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,142 Uhh. 26 00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,394 A gift from an old friend. 27 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,855 FATHER: Wu Chow. 28 00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,650 He wanted me to send his regards. 29 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,778 Ugh! Aah! 30 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,615 Father! 31 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,034 Yah! Yah! Yah! 32 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,794 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 33 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,671 (PANTING AND GRUNTING) 34 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,266 (EXHALES) 35 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,935 (CLICKING) 36 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:36,978 (CREAKING) 37 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:54,830 (GASPS) 38 00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:58,667 Uh. 39 00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,919 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 40 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,170 Father. 41 00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,048 The Seal, 42 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,050 you must get it back. 43 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,429 I promise. 44 00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:12,180 Give this 45 00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:14,891 to your brother. 46 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,172 (CHUCKLES) 47 00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,048 What are you reading? 48 00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:49,384 Oh. 49 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,720 (READING) 50 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,138 It's incredible. 51 00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:55,223 Roy's just taken out the Mummy's entire army 52 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,975 of zombie confederate soldiers, 53 00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,894 and he only had one bullet. 54 00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:00,562 That's impossible. 55 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:01,897 Oh, no, it's not. 56 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,649 Roy figured out the physics of the Canyon 57 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,444 and then ricocheted a bullet off the Canyon wall, 58 00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,237 nailed each zombie through the heart. 59 00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,698 What about the Shanghai Kid? 60 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,450 He was captured and knocked out on page 10 61 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,410 while he was polishing Roy's pearl handles. 62 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,536 Don't you worry. 63 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:19,539 Roy's about to save him from becoming a human sacrifice. 64 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,501 Those stories are all lies. 65 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:23,585 No. See? 66 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,045 It says right here on the back, 67 00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:28,381 "Author Sage McCallister bases all his stories 68 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,925 "on firsthand accounts." 69 00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,052 (HOOFBEATS) 70 00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,762 (WHINNYING) 71 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,073 Sorry, Sheriff. 72 00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:54,449 No princess. 73 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,830 Every day you meet the noon stage, 74 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,457 every day it's the same story. 75 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,001 She's not coming back. 76 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,380 Pei Pei's married to her work in San Francisco. 77 00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:09,923 Modern woman. 78 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,092 You got a parcel. 79 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,470 Maybe it's from her! 80 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,931 No. It's from my sister in China. 81 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,273 (NEIGHS) 82 00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:09,524 I know. 83 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,615 I know. I must go. 84 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:19,784 Stay here and be a good horsey for the new sheriff. 85 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:28,501 Uh, Sheriff, that stage is headed east. 86 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:31,129 Isn't China kind of west of here? 87 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,049 I'm not going to China. I'm going to New York. 88 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,675 Roy invested my money. 89 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,512 Is it true that he lives in a penthouse at the top of The Ritz 90 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,139 surrounded by dozens of beautiful women 91 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,724 at his every beck and call? 92 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,309 That's the old Roy. 93 00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:46,394 He's married, settled down. 94 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,064 Trust me, he's changed. 95 00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:50,398 (SQUEAK, POP) 96 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,900 So there we were, 97 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,693 completely outnumbered. 98 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,529 You didn't have to tell me we didn't stand a chance. 99 00:10:56,572 --> 00:11:00,158 So I send the Shanghai Kid and the Princess out the back. 100 00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,243 Poor Shanghai Kid. He was so frightened. 101 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,788 He forgot to thank me for saving his life. 102 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,498 I'm used to that. 103 00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,667 I return to the front. 104 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,460 And I counted to three, 105 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,754 and I burst out of the mission, 106 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:15,799 pearl handles blazing, lead flying everywhere, 107 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,760 and not a single bullet touched me. 108 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,095 (GASPS) No! 109 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,179 Yeah. 110 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,515 What happened to the emperor's gold? 111 00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:24,724 We divided it up. 112 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:27,936 I insisted on giving my share to the Indians, of course. 113 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,437 The savages? 114 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:33,817 Please don't ever call those noble people savages. 115 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,276 If being proud of your body 116 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,654 and wanting to ride around naked all day makes you a savage, 117 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,823 then, by God, you're drinking with a savage. 118 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:41,199 (GIGGLES) 119 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,118 (BELL DINGS) 120 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,328 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 121 00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,455 (LAUGHTER) 122 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,129 (SLURPING, LAUGHING) 123 00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:57,632 And that is what you call a French toast. 124 00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,635 You are so sophisticated, Mr. O'Bannon. 125 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,303 (CLINKING) 126 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,471 ROY: Whoo! 127 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,141 Who's up for some more bubbly? 128 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,812 (HANDS TAPPING RHYTHMICALLY) 129 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,321 Reach for the sky, Roy. 130 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,949 Say that again. 131 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,160 Reach for the sky, Roy. 132 00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,871 Chon Wang! 133 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,664 You sly son of a gun! 134 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,666 - Look at you. - Look at you. 135 00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:32,917 What brings you to New York? 136 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:34,961 My share of the gold. 137 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,088 Refresh my memory. What gold are we talking about? 138 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,173 The emperor's gold. 139 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,926 Okay, now, that gold is in 140 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,763 what the Wall Street pros call a long-term investment. 141 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,806 We can't touch it because it's building. 142 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:47,849 I need it tonight. 143 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,851 You just got here. Let's celebrate a little bit. 144 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:50,935 No. I don't have time. 145 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,480 - You just got to the big city. - My father's been killed. 146 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,192 Oh. 147 00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,652 Aw, Chon, I'm... 148 00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:01,988 You need the money to get back for the funeral? 149 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,492 No. I must go to England. The ship leaves tonight. 150 00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:06,993 Your father died in England? 151 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,496 China. My sister followed the murderer to London. 152 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,372 (STUTTERING) 153 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,166 I'm a little bit mixed up. 154 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,585 Let me see if I can get the facts straight. 155 00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:18,505 You have a sister? You never told me you had a sister. 156 00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:20,799 Is she pretty or does she look like you, Chon? Be honest. 157 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,218 Roy, I need my money! 158 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,386 I don't like that tone of voice. 159 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:28,014 You think after all we've been through I'd stiff you? 160 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,140 In case you hadn't noticed, 161 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,558 I'm doing pretty well for myself. 162 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,726 Yeah. 163 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:33,978 I'm sorry, Roy. 164 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,563 That's okay. 165 00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,690 You're going through a really tough time right now. 166 00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,526 You got to be more trusting of people, okay? 167 00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,402 Look at me. It's Roy. 168 00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,655 The couple at table five is ready to order. 169 00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:45,865 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 170 00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:49,077 Do you work here? 171 00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,495 No, I don't work here. 172 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,914 It looks like these guys are wearing a similar jacket. 173 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,707 Roy, here's your cut of the tips. 174 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,417 (COINS CLINKING) 175 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,630 (INHALES) 176 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,841 It's the craziest thing. I guess... 177 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,509 I guess because I come in here so much, 178 00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:06,219 they're mistaking me for a waiter. 179 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,763 - It's embarrassing. - You lost the gold. 180 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,349 Not all of it. 181 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:12,433 Where's the rest? 182 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,435 I have one word for you, 183 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,770 zeppelin. 184 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,022 I need my money now! 185 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,774 - Easy, easy. - (LAUGHTER) 186 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,111 Will you do anything for this money? 187 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,113 Yes. I must leave tonight. 188 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,282 Okay. Take this key. 189 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,075 Go to the room. Get cleaned up. 190 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,535 Your old pal Roy's got a plan. 191 00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:32,287 Go! Come on! 192 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,305 Howdy, big boy. 193 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:51,848 (DOOR OPENS) 194 00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:52,932 (GASPS) 195 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,817 What? 196 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,653 There's a woman in there! She wants me to sleep with her. 197 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,905 Of course she does. 198 00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,823 I told her the Great Wall ain't the only big thing 199 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,158 coming out of China. 200 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,326 Why did you say that? 201 00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:12,660 So you could get the money. 202 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,829 I will not sleep with women for money! 203 00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:17,582 Why? I'm gonna sleep with her for money. 204 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:21,502 Chon, just go in there and do your business 205 00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:23,504 and think about your sister in England. 206 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,298 - What? - Roy! 207 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,382 Duty calls. 208 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,508 Roy! 209 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,515 Good evening, Mr. Mayor. 210 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:35,975 Where are they? 211 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,310 Who? 212 00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:38,436 Ugh! 213 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,979 My daughters. 214 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,105 10th floor. 215 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,820 (RINGING) 216 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,323 Roy, you got trouble. 217 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,075 Roy! 218 00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,201 I got to check on something. 219 00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:54,994 I'll be right back. 220 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,123 Chon, new plan. We got to go. 221 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,833 Chon, what are you doing? 222 00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,293 I'm fixing her back. 223 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,671 Put her down, you decadent philistine. 224 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:05,880 Ugh! 225 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:06,923 Ugh! 226 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,049 Hey, Chon. 227 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,217 Come on, let's go! 228 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,427 - Bye-bye! - Bye. 229 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:12,720 Come on! 230 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,806 (SIGHS) 231 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,016 I don't understand. What's going on? 232 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,559 I don't have time to explain. 233 00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,979 All you have to know is there are bad men after us, 234 00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,563 but I'm in the right. 235 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:23,731 Roy. 236 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:27,318 Chon, come on, you gotta trust me on this one. 237 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,403 Okay, look. 238 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:31,114 I'm in a transitional phase in my life right now. 239 00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,448 But what? 240 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,536 You want to know the truth? 241 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,371 I'm a little lost right now. 242 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,456 You've got a sense of purpose. 243 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,708 But look at me. 244 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,085 I'm a 30-year-old waiter/gigolo. 245 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,587 Where's the future in that? 246 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,136 So, what's the plan? 247 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,263 You were always my compass, Chon. 248 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,515 The plan. You ask me the right questions. 249 00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:59,851 The plan? The plan, I think, 250 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,352 is to find the right woman, 251 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,771 raise a lot of children, and teach them values... 252 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:06,482 No, Roy, the plan to get out of here. 253 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,443 Okay, the plan. Here we go. 254 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,613 (DING) 255 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,578 (WHISTLING) 256 00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:19,954 (GASPING) 257 00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,956 - Cops! Cops! - They can help us. 258 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,791 No, no. Chon, not these cops. 259 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,293 These are dirty cops. 260 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:26,836 They take advantage of people. 261 00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:31,215 Now, if they stop us, remember, I'm not Roy O'Bannon. 262 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,967 Who are you? 263 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:36,345 I'm your friend Smoky Desperado from the west. 264 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:37,680 And who am I? 265 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,807 You... You're Benihana. 266 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,434 Benihana. 267 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:42,685 Yeah. You teach, uh... 268 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,480 You teach crippled children yoga here in the city. 269 00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:46,647 Okay, you go first. 270 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,733 No! Why me? 271 00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,902 Because you blend in, okay? 272 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,320 Now, go! 273 00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,280 Don't let them see you! 274 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:56,949 Benihana. 275 00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:02,246 (LAUGHTER) 276 00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:15,176 Hey! Hey! 277 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:24,769 Ohh! 278 00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,020 Aah! 279 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,438 (GRUNTING) 280 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:35,947 Ohh! 281 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,156 Ugh! 282 00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,386 Ohh! Aah! 283 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:00,513 Aah! 284 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,073 Psst! 285 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,241 Chon! 286 00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,285 Come on, stop wasting time. 287 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:28,416 You! 288 00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:30,084 Chon, I found our ticket out of here. 289 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,296 ROY: We're on our way. 290 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,256 Looks like old Roy came through again. 291 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,341 Just like old times, Chon. 292 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,135 MAN 1: Check over there! 293 00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:40,761 Over to the alley! 294 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,096 MAN 2: That way! 295 00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,269 Yeah, just like old times. 296 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:50,188 Will you forget about the gold for a second? 297 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,898 You're gonna have more money than you ever dreamed of 298 00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:54,358 when that first zeppelin takes off. 299 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,527 Why do I always believe you? 300 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,446 What do you mean? 301 00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:00,573 You're lucky I didn't invest 302 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:03,367 in that ridiculous automobile idea. 303 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,369 Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money. 304 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,336 (SEAGULLS CRYING) 305 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,133 (FOOTSTEPS) 306 00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,019 (WHIMPERING) 307 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:31,896 What's that? 308 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,814 I'm in the doghouse. 309 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,151 Oh, come on, Chon. 310 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,278 Look, I'm sorry I lied. 311 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,864 I just didn't want to disappoint you. 312 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,159 That's exactly what I mean. 313 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,911 I can't take that look. 314 00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:49,622 I learned it from my father. 315 00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,999 That's how he used to look at me. 316 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,670 What did your dad do? Was he an Imperial Guard? 317 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:56,796 No. 318 00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,631 Much more important. 319 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,134 He was the keeper of the Imperial Seal. 320 00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,761 That's what I love about China, 321 00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:06,472 everybody's job description sounds so damn cool. 322 00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:09,684 The Seal has been symbol of the emperor's power 323 00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:10,977 since Genghis Khan. 324 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:14,355 It has been passed down from one emperor to another. 325 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:18,025 My family have been watching over it for 12 generations. 326 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,568 Twelve generations? 327 00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:24,031 My father and I used to skip stones across the moat 328 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:28,035 and talk about a day I would follow his footsteps. 329 00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,123 I was his only son. 330 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:36,168 If I'd have been there, I could have protected him. 331 00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:38,629 It's not your fault. You were 3,000 miles away. 332 00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,634 What's with that little box? 333 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,430 My sister sent it to me from my father. 334 00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:50,224 There's a message inside. 335 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,726 What's it say? 336 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:54,061 It's a puzzle box. I don't know how to open yet. 337 00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:56,439 You don't know how to open it? Get a hammer and smash it open 338 00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:57,815 so you can see what it says. 339 00:21:57,899 --> 00:21:59,692 I must have patience. 340 00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,445 By the time I'm able to open it, 341 00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:04,030 I will be ready to read the message. 342 00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,614 Oh, come on, Confucius, 343 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,491 that's the corniest thing I've ever heard. 344 00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:12,246 Let me see this. 345 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:14,874 (SIGHS) 346 00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,001 You know what? 347 00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:18,919 We're gonna go to England. 348 00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:20,588 We're gonna find your dad's killer. 349 00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:22,048 We're gonna get that seal back. 350 00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:23,674 There's no reward for this, Roy. 351 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:25,092 Who said anything about a reward? 352 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:28,179 I'm talking about friendship, loyalty, honor. 353 00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:29,805 Okay? 354 00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:32,475 Thank you, Roy. 355 00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,313 And I hear England is ass soup, 356 00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,648 a lot of pretty girls there. 357 00:22:41,276 --> 00:22:42,902 (BELL TOLLING) 358 00:22:47,282 --> 00:22:49,450 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 359 00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:51,619 (GAVEL BANGS) 360 00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:54,121 First order of business, my lords, 361 00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:58,334 is a report from our esteemed friend Lord Rathbone 362 00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:03,130 who recently returned from a diplomatic mission to China. 363 00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:15,851 Fellow lords, 364 00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:19,855 I'm afraid I bring disturbing news from the Orient. 365 00:23:21,149 --> 00:23:23,234 The opium wars have ravaged the land. 366 00:23:23,318 --> 00:23:25,528 The emperor's enemies are organizing. 367 00:23:25,987 --> 00:23:28,406 The most vicious are the Boxers, 368 00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:32,243 a godless band of rebels who murder without discretion. 369 00:23:34,037 --> 00:23:35,996 China is not well. 370 00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:38,165 (MURMURING) 371 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:41,836 I have brought back an envoy who should give us some insight 372 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,297 into the inscrutable mind of the Chinese. 373 00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:46,841 (GROWLING) 374 00:23:46,883 --> 00:23:48,342 (MURMURING) 375 00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:50,094 Is he mad? 376 00:23:51,638 --> 00:23:54,348 Given to Her Majesty Queen Victoria by the emperor 377 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:58,185 in recognition of her 50 glorious years on the throne. 378 00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,687 (GROWLING) 379 00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:01,730 Outrageousness! 380 00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:04,817 Long live the Queen. 381 00:24:04,901 --> 00:24:06,485 (GROWLING) 382 00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:11,365 (UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS) 383 00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:18,747 (SINGING) England swings like a pendulum do 384 00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:21,959 Bobbies on bicycles two by two 385 00:24:22,043 --> 00:24:25,421 Westminster Abbey the tower of Big Ben 386 00:24:25,505 --> 00:24:27,882 The rosy red cheeks of the little children 387 00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:30,468 BOY: Jack the Ripper strikes again! 388 00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:31,719 Extra! Extra! 389 00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:33,554 Read all about it. 390 00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:35,139 Howdy, partner. 391 00:24:36,391 --> 00:24:38,267 The English are not very friendly. 392 00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:40,352 They're just sore losers. 393 00:24:40,770 --> 00:24:42,354 What did they lose? 394 00:24:42,397 --> 00:24:45,483 A little thing called the American Revolution, Chon. 395 00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:47,109 Never heard of it. 396 00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:48,652 I'll give you the highlights. 397 00:24:48,737 --> 00:24:50,279 They came over with about a million men. 398 00:24:50,363 --> 00:24:52,072 We had a bunch of farmers with pitchforks 399 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,241 and beat 'em like a drum. 400 00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:55,451 BOY: Extra! Extra! 401 00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:56,619 Hey! 402 00:24:57,829 --> 00:24:59,705 Hey! I'm walking here! 403 00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:02,833 You're driving on the wrong side of the road! 404 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:06,462 Bunch of amateurs. These people don't get it. 405 00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:08,506 Hello, ladies. 406 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,382 (GIGGLING) 407 00:25:12,427 --> 00:25:13,594 Look at you. 408 00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:16,263 What, I'm not supposed to notice a pretty lady? 409 00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:18,599 I thought you wanted to settle down and have a family. 410 00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:21,602 I do, Chon. I just hope I can. 411 00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:23,020 Why not? 412 00:25:23,104 --> 00:25:24,104 Sometimes I worry 413 00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:26,315 that all the damn horseback riding 414 00:25:26,399 --> 00:25:28,067 I did out in the west, 415 00:25:28,109 --> 00:25:30,194 bouncing up and down on the hard saddles, 416 00:25:30,278 --> 00:25:33,948 might have made it so my salmon don't swim upstream 417 00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:35,324 the way they're supposed to. 418 00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:37,826 What? 419 00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:39,703 I might be shooting blanks. 420 00:25:40,956 --> 00:25:41,956 Oh. 421 00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,124 Don't say anything. 422 00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:47,878 Roy, it's okay. 423 00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:50,756 Some people are not meant to have a family. 424 00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:53,842 I've always had such a special connection with children. 425 00:25:53,927 --> 00:25:55,344 The little ankle-biters... 426 00:25:55,428 --> 00:25:57,388 Hey! Watch it, you little punk! 427 00:25:57,472 --> 00:25:58,973 Pardon me, guv. 428 00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:04,937 You gents lost your way? 429 00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,523 Yeah, we're looking for my sister. 430 00:26:07,607 --> 00:26:10,442 She's staying at 32 Oxford Street. 431 00:26:10,485 --> 00:26:13,487 I know it well, guv. Me old man used to live there. 432 00:26:14,447 --> 00:26:15,573 Can you show us the way? 433 00:26:16,783 --> 00:26:19,493 Memory's a little dodgy, 434 00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:23,205 but I'm sure for a bob I could get you there. 435 00:26:23,290 --> 00:26:26,166 What do you take us for? Okies from Muskogee? 436 00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:29,169 Go sell your bullshit someplace else. We're not buying it. 437 00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:32,131 Thanks for the tip, guv. 438 00:26:32,173 --> 00:26:34,258 Hey! I stole that watch from my uncle! 439 00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:35,426 What? 440 00:26:35,510 --> 00:26:37,344 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) 441 00:26:38,305 --> 00:26:40,389 (SINGING) Aah 442 00:26:43,810 --> 00:26:45,853 Who-o-o-a 443 00:26:51,985 --> 00:26:52,985 (BRAYING) 444 00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:54,028 (CLUCKING) 445 00:26:55,864 --> 00:26:56,947 This way. 446 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,287 Come here, you little rubbish-eater! 447 00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:06,373 What did I tell you about poaching on our turf, Charlie? 448 00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:08,542 I'm on the straight and narrow. Honest. 449 00:27:10,879 --> 00:27:11,879 (SIGHS) 450 00:27:13,548 --> 00:27:15,382 Oh, what's this, then? 451 00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:17,551 After I'm through beating you, 452 00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:20,512 you're gonna wish you never ran away from the workhouse! 453 00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:22,056 WANG: Leave the boy alone. 454 00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:24,516 Bloody tourists! 455 00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:26,143 Get your noses out of it! 456 00:27:26,227 --> 00:27:28,062 Do whatever you want to the kid, 457 00:27:28,104 --> 00:27:29,688 but that's my watch you're holding. 458 00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:33,942 There's a load of us and only two of you. 459 00:27:34,361 --> 00:27:35,736 So piss off! 460 00:27:36,196 --> 00:27:38,572 Easy, fellas. You've lost one war this way. 461 00:27:38,615 --> 00:27:40,240 Don't make the same mistake twice. 462 00:27:40,283 --> 00:27:41,283 Hah! 463 00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:42,368 Ugh! 464 00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:48,874 (GRUNTING) 465 00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:52,544 (WHISTLES) 466 00:27:53,129 --> 00:27:54,213 (WHISTLES) 467 00:27:56,549 --> 00:27:58,300 Come on! After him! 468 00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:05,766 Hey! 469 00:28:11,564 --> 00:28:12,940 MAN: There he is! Get him! 470 00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:14,817 We've got him now. Come on. Move in, lads. 471 00:28:14,901 --> 00:28:16,527 Come on, move in. 472 00:28:21,032 --> 00:28:22,449 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 473 00:28:26,329 --> 00:28:27,329 Aah! 474 00:28:27,997 --> 00:28:29,123 Ha ha ha! 475 00:28:33,461 --> 00:28:34,712 Aah! 476 00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:40,175 Wait, wait! 477 00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:41,593 Ohh! Wait! 478 00:28:51,104 --> 00:28:52,438 Come on! Get him! 479 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,939 Up the bloody ladder! 480 00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:55,232 Come on! 481 00:29:02,323 --> 00:29:03,323 Aah! 482 00:29:07,328 --> 00:29:08,537 Aaah! 483 00:29:15,336 --> 00:29:16,336 (GASPS) 484 00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:17,671 Aah! Ugh! 485 00:29:21,801 --> 00:29:23,177 Aaaaah! 486 00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:24,636 (CRASH) 487 00:29:24,679 --> 00:29:26,722 Hey! Hey! 488 00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:29,892 WOMAN: Oh! Watch it! 489 00:29:32,353 --> 00:29:34,521 Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! 490 00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:35,564 Ugh! 491 00:29:37,233 --> 00:29:38,233 Hey. 492 00:29:40,236 --> 00:29:41,904 Ohh! Aah! 493 00:29:41,988 --> 00:29:43,906 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 494 00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:53,207 (GRUNTING) 495 00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:01,924 Aaah! 496 00:30:02,008 --> 00:30:03,008 Ohh! 497 00:30:05,136 --> 00:30:06,678 Come here, you! 498 00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:39,586 Cool. 499 00:30:57,981 --> 00:30:59,273 Come on! 500 00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:00,607 Move it! 501 00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:07,698 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) 502 00:31:07,782 --> 00:31:08,991 Come on! 503 00:31:13,746 --> 00:31:15,873 (SINGING) Do, do, do, do 504 00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,749 Do, do, dee, do 505 00:31:17,792 --> 00:31:19,459 Do, do, do, do 506 00:31:19,502 --> 00:31:21,211 Do, do, dee, do 507 00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:22,838 Do, do, do, do 508 00:31:22,922 --> 00:31:25,299 Do, do, dee, do 509 00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:30,220 Aah! 510 00:31:39,355 --> 00:31:40,355 You! 511 00:31:45,194 --> 00:31:46,486 (GRUNTING) 512 00:31:50,533 --> 00:31:51,533 Aah! 513 00:31:54,495 --> 00:31:56,121 Did you see that? 514 00:31:56,623 --> 00:31:57,789 It's okay. 515 00:31:57,832 --> 00:31:58,999 Okay? 516 00:31:59,042 --> 00:32:00,667 I call that one my kung pao chicken. 517 00:32:00,710 --> 00:32:02,461 I clotheslined the sucker. 518 00:32:02,503 --> 00:32:04,212 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 519 00:32:04,297 --> 00:32:05,422 Come on, get back! 520 00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:06,673 Clear away! 521 00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:07,799 Come on! 522 00:32:07,842 --> 00:32:09,134 Make way! 523 00:32:15,975 --> 00:32:17,392 (GROANING) 524 00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:25,317 I think you gentlemen should accompany me back to the Yard. 525 00:32:26,110 --> 00:32:28,362 This isn't a yard! It's a jail! 526 00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:29,780 Roy, calm down. 527 00:32:31,866 --> 00:32:33,033 Unbelievable. 528 00:32:33,368 --> 00:32:34,368 (SIGHS) 529 00:32:34,452 --> 00:32:36,119 (FOOTSTEPS) 530 00:32:36,329 --> 00:32:37,537 Wait, someone's coming! 531 00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:39,873 - Let me handle this. - I'm gonna handle it, okay? 532 00:32:39,916 --> 00:32:41,500 The English aren't like you. 533 00:32:41,542 --> 00:32:43,418 They don't get all emotional touchy-feely. 534 00:32:43,503 --> 00:32:44,628 Do me a favor. 535 00:32:44,712 --> 00:32:47,089 Park the kung fu. Let me do the talking. 536 00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:48,298 (CELL DOOR OPENS) 537 00:32:49,550 --> 00:32:52,219 Come here! Let me give you a hug. 538 00:32:52,470 --> 00:32:53,553 Ooh! 539 00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:54,721 Ha ha! 540 00:32:55,223 --> 00:32:58,350 I've been after that Fleet Street gang for two years. 541 00:32:58,393 --> 00:33:00,227 Then you two come along and bring them down 542 00:33:00,311 --> 00:33:01,687 in a single afternoon. 543 00:33:01,729 --> 00:33:03,897 Brilliant! Now, um... 544 00:33:04,065 --> 00:33:05,357 Oh, that's my watch! 545 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,359 Yes, a street urchin turned it in. 546 00:33:07,402 --> 00:33:09,277 The little punk better not have scuffed it. 547 00:33:09,362 --> 00:33:11,238 I do hope your luck picks up. 548 00:33:11,322 --> 00:33:12,406 What do you mean, my luck? 549 00:33:12,448 --> 00:33:13,782 I deduced from your watch 550 00:33:13,866 --> 00:33:15,450 that you'd hit rather a rough patch. 551 00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:17,202 He has. How do you know? 552 00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:19,997 It's an investigative technique I've developed. 553 00:33:20,081 --> 00:33:23,208 I can deduce intimate details about an individual 554 00:33:23,251 --> 00:33:25,460 through a close scrutiny of their personal effects. 555 00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:27,921 What else can you tell? 556 00:33:30,591 --> 00:33:34,594 The owner of this watch is a bad gambler 557 00:33:34,637 --> 00:33:36,138 and a lousy shot. 558 00:33:36,389 --> 00:33:38,765 Although he's cheated death several times, 559 00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:42,144 he spends most of his life wandering in a rather pathetic 560 00:33:42,228 --> 00:33:45,313 and futile search for purpose and respect. 561 00:33:46,274 --> 00:33:47,482 Oh, yes. 562 00:33:47,817 --> 00:33:50,652 He has a penchant for loose women. 563 00:33:52,071 --> 00:33:54,573 Wow! That's amazing. 564 00:33:54,615 --> 00:33:56,825 I'm sure it's a very popular party trick 565 00:33:56,909 --> 00:33:58,577 at birthdays for small children, 566 00:33:58,619 --> 00:34:01,621 but it doesn't quite play with adults. (CHUCKLES) 567 00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:03,123 Just to set the record straight, 568 00:34:03,207 --> 00:34:05,917 Roy O'Bannon is not attracted to loose women. 569 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,627 Loose women are attracted to me. 570 00:34:07,670 --> 00:34:09,796 - You're Roy O'Bannon? - Yeah. 571 00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:11,965 The famous western folk hero? 572 00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:13,216 Have you heard of me? 573 00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:14,634 Have I heard of you? 574 00:34:14,677 --> 00:34:18,013 I've only read Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy five times. 575 00:34:18,097 --> 00:34:19,264 It's fascinating. 576 00:34:19,348 --> 00:34:21,058 I want you to meet the Shanghai Kid. 577 00:34:21,225 --> 00:34:22,309 Oh, yes. 578 00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:24,853 The faithful Chinese sidekick. 579 00:34:24,937 --> 00:34:28,356 I'm not a sidekick. Those stories are all lies. 580 00:34:28,441 --> 00:34:30,692 Hey! Come on. Don't be bitter. 581 00:34:31,027 --> 00:34:32,986 I can't help what Sage McCallister writes. 582 00:34:33,237 --> 00:34:36,364 If there's anything I can do, I'm at your service. 583 00:34:36,866 --> 00:34:38,283 WANG: We're looking for my sister. 584 00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:39,910 She's staying at this address. 585 00:34:40,620 --> 00:34:42,496 Can you take us there? 586 00:34:42,997 --> 00:34:44,247 Oh, dear. 587 00:34:44,832 --> 00:34:47,375 I think you'd better come with me. 588 00:34:52,048 --> 00:34:53,256 (GASPS) 589 00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:02,432 Hey. 590 00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:06,228 Ohh! 591 00:35:13,736 --> 00:35:14,736 Lin. 592 00:35:16,531 --> 00:35:17,614 Wang. 593 00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:19,491 Wang. 594 00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:27,457 Um, if you don't mind, I'll just wait outside. 595 00:35:29,460 --> 00:35:30,460 (DOOR CLOSES) 596 00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:31,586 Introduce me. 597 00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:34,714 Oh, this is Lin, my baby sister. 598 00:35:35,216 --> 00:35:36,216 (SPEAKING MANDARIN) 599 00:35:38,052 --> 00:35:39,136 Roy O'Bannon. 600 00:35:40,888 --> 00:35:41,930 Pleasure. 601 00:35:43,015 --> 00:35:45,642 You never told me your sister was such a... 602 00:35:45,726 --> 00:35:47,519 Beautiful lotus blossom. 603 00:35:50,565 --> 00:35:53,233 (SPEAKING MANDARIN) 604 00:35:54,402 --> 00:35:55,402 What'd she say? 605 00:35:56,821 --> 00:35:59,406 No, no, no. No talking about me in your native tongue. 606 00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:01,908 Why are you in jail? 607 00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:03,785 I followed the man who murdered father. 608 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,162 And? 609 00:36:05,246 --> 00:36:06,872 I found out where he live. 610 00:36:06,914 --> 00:36:09,624 I snuck inside his house and tried to kill him. 611 00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:11,751 It's my duty to find Father's killer. 612 00:36:11,794 --> 00:36:14,462 No, it is mine! I'm the one who promised Father. 613 00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:15,922 But I'm his only son. 614 00:36:16,132 --> 00:36:18,425 When you abandoned us for America, 615 00:36:18,509 --> 00:36:20,093 Father said he had no son. 616 00:36:20,469 --> 00:36:21,595 What? 617 00:36:22,722 --> 00:36:23,763 (SIGHS) 618 00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:25,432 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out. 619 00:36:25,474 --> 00:36:27,267 Time out, time out. Come here. 620 00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:28,935 The detective's a fan. 621 00:36:28,978 --> 00:36:30,729 Why don't I play the celebrity card, 622 00:36:30,771 --> 00:36:32,439 and we'll get her out that way? 623 00:36:32,523 --> 00:36:33,607 Okay? 624 00:36:33,649 --> 00:36:34,900 Come on. 625 00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:40,488 Don't worry. I'll get you out. 626 00:36:45,494 --> 00:36:47,162 Everything's gonna be okay. 627 00:36:47,246 --> 00:36:50,165 In fact, I'm gonna give you my good-luck playing cards. 628 00:36:52,126 --> 00:36:54,252 Just ignore the naked ladies. 629 00:36:54,295 --> 00:36:55,420 Wang! 630 00:36:57,381 --> 00:36:59,007 Have you opened Father's box? 631 00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:01,593 Not yet. 632 00:37:02,970 --> 00:37:04,304 (DOOR HINGES SQUEAK) 633 00:37:04,972 --> 00:37:06,473 (DOOR LOCKS) 634 00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:11,728 She tried to assassinate Lord Rathbone 635 00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:13,980 whilst he was taking afternoon tea. 636 00:37:14,357 --> 00:37:16,233 He's 10th in line to the throne, 637 00:37:16,317 --> 00:37:18,401 Her Majesty's favorite cousin, 638 00:37:18,486 --> 00:37:20,445 and the finest swordsman in England. 639 00:37:23,532 --> 00:37:25,659 So, of course, the press had a field day. 640 00:37:25,701 --> 00:37:28,870 The story actually knocked Jack the Ripper off the front page. 641 00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:30,830 Artie, Lin is not a killer. 642 00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:33,041 She's just a really, really, really 643 00:37:33,125 --> 00:37:35,502 hot, confused Chinese girl. 644 00:37:36,003 --> 00:37:38,588 Maybe if I agree to sign a few autographs 645 00:37:38,673 --> 00:37:41,800 and talk to some of my fans here in England, 646 00:37:41,842 --> 00:37:44,594 do some type of charity event, can we get her out that way? 647 00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:46,596 I'm afraid that's out of the question. 648 00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:48,098 What will happen to my sister? 649 00:37:48,474 --> 00:37:50,809 She'll go to trial, probably be locked away 650 00:37:50,851 --> 00:37:53,770 in an institution for the criminally insane. 651 00:37:54,021 --> 00:37:56,439 The tabloids have already dubbed her "Loony Lin." 652 00:37:56,524 --> 00:37:58,525 I thought it was rather catchy. (CHUCKLES) 653 00:38:00,611 --> 00:38:02,028 At the time. 654 00:38:03,197 --> 00:38:05,323 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 655 00:38:11,872 --> 00:38:13,498 (HORN HONKING) 656 00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:20,880 Do you have any notion 657 00:38:20,923 --> 00:38:23,216 what would happen if we were to be seen together? 658 00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:26,594 Since your return, I have yet to lay eyes on the Imperial Seal. 659 00:38:26,846 --> 00:38:30,265 I'm hosting a Jubilee Ball at my country estate tomorrow. 660 00:38:30,349 --> 00:38:31,725 Be at the stables at midnight. 661 00:38:32,977 --> 00:38:35,854 As requested, a token of my esteem. 662 00:38:38,774 --> 00:38:39,774 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 663 00:38:44,238 --> 00:38:46,239 This is where you get out. 664 00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:48,074 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 665 00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,244 I hope there will be more trust between us 666 00:38:51,287 --> 00:38:54,331 when I'm emperor and you are the new king. 667 00:38:58,294 --> 00:39:00,879 (UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYS) 668 00:39:03,257 --> 00:39:05,884 ROY: Wow! Buckingham Palace. Look at that, Chon. 669 00:39:05,926 --> 00:39:08,136 That's where the Queen lives. 670 00:39:09,930 --> 00:39:11,431 Hey, look at this guy. 671 00:39:11,515 --> 00:39:14,142 WANG: He's a royal guard. He has a very important job. 672 00:39:14,226 --> 00:39:15,935 I used to be just like him. 673 00:39:15,978 --> 00:39:17,270 No, no, they're nothing like you. 674 00:39:17,355 --> 00:39:18,938 They're more of a tourist attraction. 675 00:39:19,023 --> 00:39:20,940 You can make faces at them, insult them, 676 00:39:21,025 --> 00:39:22,275 and they can't move a muscle. 677 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:23,943 - Here, watch this. - Roy... 678 00:39:23,986 --> 00:39:25,403 No, no, it's okay. 679 00:39:25,446 --> 00:39:27,781 Hey, buddy, your shoes are untied. 680 00:39:27,823 --> 00:39:29,324 (WHISTLING) 681 00:39:30,951 --> 00:39:34,120 That is the biggest damn beaver I have ever seen. 682 00:39:34,163 --> 00:39:35,455 (LAUGHS) 683 00:39:35,498 --> 00:39:36,706 Roy, stop it. 684 00:39:36,791 --> 00:39:37,791 The Queen! 685 00:39:37,833 --> 00:39:40,168 Look, the Queen! She's mooning us! 686 00:39:40,252 --> 00:39:41,544 (LAUGHS) 687 00:39:41,629 --> 00:39:43,254 He almost went for that. 688 00:39:43,464 --> 00:39:45,465 My friend and I just came over from America. 689 00:39:45,549 --> 00:39:48,635 You might have heard of it. We run your jerkwater country. 690 00:39:48,677 --> 00:39:51,471 Come on. You're gonna take that from a colonial? 691 00:39:51,555 --> 00:39:52,972 Roy, stop it. 692 00:39:53,015 --> 00:39:55,767 I bet you're one hell of a damn poker player. 693 00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:57,018 No hard feelings. 694 00:39:57,103 --> 00:39:58,103 Huh? 695 00:39:58,479 --> 00:39:59,604 Aah! 696 00:40:00,564 --> 00:40:01,940 (LAUGHING) 697 00:40:01,982 --> 00:40:03,483 ROY: They can't do that! 698 00:40:03,526 --> 00:40:04,984 They're not allowed to do that! 699 00:40:05,027 --> 00:40:06,236 Shouldn't have touched him. 700 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,321 You scram, you little punk. 701 00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:09,989 I've got friends at Scotland Yard. 702 00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:11,324 I'll give you up in a heartbeat. 703 00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:12,826 You get your watch back? 704 00:40:12,910 --> 00:40:15,328 Don't worry about my watch. Go on. 705 00:40:15,454 --> 00:40:16,663 It's a knockoff, you know. 706 00:40:16,705 --> 00:40:18,289 What are you talking about? A knockoff? 707 00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:21,000 My uncle stole this watch from President Lincoln. 708 00:40:21,085 --> 00:40:22,877 It's a priceless family heirloom. 709 00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:25,004 Not according to the pawnbroker. 710 00:40:25,047 --> 00:40:26,506 You should not steal. 711 00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:28,842 If I don't steal, I don't eat. 712 00:40:28,926 --> 00:40:29,968 By the way, 713 00:40:30,010 --> 00:40:32,846 who showed you how to do all that kicking and punching? 714 00:40:33,597 --> 00:40:34,681 My father. 715 00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,599 Have you ever heard of those? They're parents. 716 00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:37,892 We have parents that love us. 717 00:40:37,977 --> 00:40:39,727 You don't 'cause you're a little orphan. 718 00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:41,187 Go on. You're making us look bad. 719 00:40:41,313 --> 00:40:43,148 You're cramping our style. 720 00:40:43,190 --> 00:40:44,941 (THUNDER RUMBLES) 721 00:40:45,025 --> 00:40:47,861 Oh, this country blows. 722 00:40:49,071 --> 00:40:51,072 You need a place to stay? 723 00:40:54,994 --> 00:40:56,870 Come on in and warm your dogs. 724 00:40:57,455 --> 00:40:59,539 ROY: (WHISTLES) You can get into a lot of trouble 725 00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:01,541 breaking into a place like this. 726 00:41:01,584 --> 00:41:03,710 That being said, well done. 727 00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:10,508 You just ate the last chocolate. 728 00:41:10,551 --> 00:41:11,885 Course I did. 729 00:41:11,927 --> 00:41:13,720 You gotta look out for number one, kid. 730 00:41:13,804 --> 00:41:14,804 (SIGHS) 731 00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:16,431 I could really get used to this, 732 00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:19,100 living the life of a country gentleman, 733 00:41:19,185 --> 00:41:21,019 maybe doing a little painting, 734 00:41:21,061 --> 00:41:24,105 let Lin play in the garden with the children, 735 00:41:24,190 --> 00:41:26,232 Vera, Chuck, and Dave. 736 00:41:26,692 --> 00:41:27,734 Who's Lin? 737 00:41:27,818 --> 00:41:31,571 (SIGHS) Lin's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. 738 00:41:32,406 --> 00:41:34,699 She's gonna be the savior of the house of O'Bannon. 739 00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:37,577 Hey, Chon, check out the threads. 740 00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:40,747 What do you think? All I'm missing is the loyal hound curled at my feet. 741 00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:16,431 I could really get used to this, 742 00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:19,100 living the life of a country gentleman, 743 00:41:19,185 --> 00:41:21,019 maybe doing a little painting, 744 00:41:21,061 --> 00:41:24,105 let Lin play in the garden with the children, 745 00:41:24,190 --> 00:41:26,232 Vera, Chuck, and Dave. 746 00:41:26,692 --> 00:41:27,734 Who's Lin? 747 00:41:27,818 --> 00:41:31,571 (SIGHS) Lin's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. 748 00:41:32,406 --> 00:41:34,699 She's gonna be the savior of the house of O'Bannon. 749 00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:37,577 Hey, Chon, check out the threads. 750 00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:40,747 What do you think? All I'm missing is the loyal hound curled at my feet. 751 00:41:40,789 --> 00:41:43,041 We're wasting time. We must find Rathbone. 752 00:41:43,083 --> 00:41:44,209 What do you think I've been doing, 753 00:41:44,251 --> 00:41:46,377 sitting here, drinking expensive hooch? 754 00:41:46,420 --> 00:41:47,545 Boy, refill. 755 00:41:48,005 --> 00:41:49,923 I've been working on a plan. 756 00:41:50,132 --> 00:41:53,218 Now... Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't slosh the brandy. 757 00:41:54,136 --> 00:41:55,762 It messes with the bouquet. 758 00:41:55,804 --> 00:41:56,846 Sod off. 759 00:41:56,931 --> 00:41:58,640 Listen, I'm trying to teach you a skill set, 760 00:41:58,724 --> 00:42:00,433 help get you off the street. 761 00:42:00,476 --> 00:42:01,601 Bartenders make big bucks. 762 00:42:01,644 --> 00:42:02,644 Roy! 763 00:42:02,728 --> 00:42:03,978 The plan. 764 00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:05,939 Thank you, Chon. 765 00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:08,441 Now, I figure, if we find the Seal, 766 00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:11,402 we can prove Rathbone killed your dad. 767 00:42:14,615 --> 00:42:16,491 It's the old Hail Mary play. 768 00:42:16,575 --> 00:42:18,451 I also have a version where we dig a tunnel. 769 00:42:20,704 --> 00:42:21,704 Hey! 770 00:42:21,872 --> 00:42:23,915 Bloody catapult. Jesus Christ! 771 00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:25,124 You don't need a catapult. 772 00:42:25,167 --> 00:42:26,167 Who asked you? 773 00:42:26,252 --> 00:42:28,294 You don't interrupt grown-ups when they're talking. 774 00:42:28,337 --> 00:42:31,297 "Lord Nelson Rathbone requests the pleasure of your company 775 00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:32,674 "at the Jubilee Ball 776 00:42:32,758 --> 00:42:36,052 "in honor of Her Majesty's 50th year on the throne." 777 00:42:36,762 --> 00:42:37,804 Sounds good. 778 00:42:37,972 --> 00:42:40,223 Yeah, it doesn't address the issue of security. 779 00:42:40,307 --> 00:42:43,184 They're not gonna let Chon and I waltz into the castle. 780 00:42:43,269 --> 00:42:45,645 All you need is a proper disguise. 781 00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:49,899 I do like a good disguise. 782 00:42:50,651 --> 00:42:52,527 (CHAINS RATTLING) 783 00:43:14,675 --> 00:43:16,009 I look like a fool. 784 00:43:16,093 --> 00:43:17,594 What? You're a maharaja. 785 00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:19,012 That's Indian royalty. 786 00:43:19,096 --> 00:43:20,138 But I'm Chinese. 787 00:43:20,180 --> 00:43:21,514 It's the same thing. 788 00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:22,974 Hey. 789 00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:24,392 Bob your head a little bit, 790 00:43:24,476 --> 00:43:27,186 gives you more of a India-royalty flavor. 791 00:43:28,147 --> 00:43:30,273 That's good. Good show, good show. 792 00:43:30,357 --> 00:43:31,608 Good show, good show. 793 00:43:31,692 --> 00:43:33,067 Cheerio, cheerio. 794 00:43:33,152 --> 00:43:34,235 Cheerio, cheerio. 795 00:43:34,361 --> 00:43:35,778 Now what do we do when we see Rathbone? 796 00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:36,904 Kill him. 797 00:43:36,989 --> 00:43:39,032 No, okay? No! 798 00:43:39,116 --> 00:43:40,199 You're gonna be civil in there 799 00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:41,784 'cause we don't have the Seal yet. 800 00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:45,872 No seal, no Lin, no family honor, okay? 801 00:43:46,874 --> 00:43:49,250 Be cool. Okay, we look great. 802 00:43:49,335 --> 00:43:51,210 Let's enjoy this party. 803 00:43:53,964 --> 00:43:55,006 Whoa, whoa. What are you doing? 804 00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:56,132 I'm going inside. 805 00:43:56,216 --> 00:43:57,467 The say the place is haunted. 806 00:43:57,551 --> 00:44:00,178 No, you're the harness man, which means you get back at the carriage, 807 00:44:00,220 --> 00:44:02,430 and you wait there in case we need to make a quick getaway. 808 00:44:02,514 --> 00:44:03,931 Go on, man your post. 809 00:44:04,016 --> 00:44:05,058 You don't always get what you want. 810 00:44:05,142 --> 00:44:07,560 Why are you so mean to that boy? 811 00:44:08,729 --> 00:44:10,480 I see a lot of myself in that kid. 812 00:44:10,564 --> 00:44:13,524 It's kind of freaking me out. Come on. 813 00:44:14,568 --> 00:44:16,069 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 814 00:44:23,243 --> 00:44:24,744 Your name, please, sir. 815 00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:29,999 So I can announce you. 816 00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:41,886 Sherlock Holmes. 817 00:44:42,221 --> 00:44:43,805 Sherlock Holmes. 818 00:44:45,724 --> 00:44:48,518 And which province do you represent, Your Highness? 819 00:44:52,272 --> 00:44:54,107 Nevada. 820 00:44:59,113 --> 00:45:00,697 (BELLS JINGLING) 821 00:45:03,283 --> 00:45:04,992 (BAND PLAYING MID-TEMPO MUSIC) 822 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:08,037 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 823 00:45:14,253 --> 00:45:17,964 May I present Major General Sherlock Holmes 824 00:45:18,006 --> 00:45:21,426 and His Highness the Maharaja of Nevada. 825 00:45:35,274 --> 00:45:38,067 How are the security arrangements this evening, Inspector? 826 00:45:38,152 --> 00:45:41,320 Oh, everything seems to be going swimmingly, my lord. 827 00:45:41,363 --> 00:45:42,989 And if I may say so, 828 00:45:43,031 --> 00:45:45,199 it is an honor to guard your lordship tonight. 829 00:45:45,284 --> 00:45:47,660 I think I speak for all of us at Scotland Yard 830 00:45:47,745 --> 00:45:50,830 when I say that no matter how far you are from the throne, 831 00:45:50,914 --> 00:45:53,416 you'll always be number one in our hearts. 832 00:46:00,007 --> 00:46:01,090 Okay, here's the plan. 833 00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:02,717 We're gonna get a little chow, 834 00:46:02,801 --> 00:46:04,677 then we're gonna sneak out of here 835 00:46:04,762 --> 00:46:07,013 - and start looking for that seal. - Okay. 836 00:46:07,181 --> 00:46:09,182 - Spotted dick, sir? - What? 837 00:46:09,266 --> 00:46:10,725 Spotted dick. 838 00:46:12,352 --> 00:46:13,352 (SCOFFS) 839 00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:14,937 Can you believe this guy? 840 00:46:15,022 --> 00:46:17,857 I'm trying to get something to eat, he's asking me if I got the clap. 841 00:46:17,941 --> 00:46:20,359 I think he's offering you food. 842 00:46:21,945 --> 00:46:25,490 Oh... Spotted dick. Oh, no, I think I'll pass. 843 00:46:25,532 --> 00:46:27,033 I'm not really a dessert man. 844 00:46:27,117 --> 00:46:30,203 Perhaps my friend might like some spotted dick. (LAUGHS) 845 00:46:32,372 --> 00:46:34,207 I might try one of these sausages, though. 846 00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:36,042 A little smoky joe. 847 00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:41,047 Mmm, this is good! 848 00:46:41,089 --> 00:46:43,049 I thought the food here was supposed to suck. 849 00:46:43,133 --> 00:46:45,343 The haggis is fresh from Scotland, sir. 850 00:46:45,469 --> 00:46:48,095 It's made from the finest sheeps' bladders. 851 00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:15,915 I'm not acquainted with the Nevada province. 852 00:47:19,586 --> 00:47:21,963 But I haven't been to India since '81. 853 00:47:22,047 --> 00:47:24,423 I spent most of my time in the Orient. 854 00:47:24,716 --> 00:47:27,093 I hear you've just returned from China. 855 00:47:27,177 --> 00:47:29,512 You are well-informed, Maharaja. 856 00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:32,598 It is my dream that the Chinese people 857 00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:36,060 will follow India's example and one day embrace British rule. 858 00:47:36,103 --> 00:47:37,812 The Chinese are very proud. 859 00:47:37,896 --> 00:47:40,940 They place family and honor above all else. 860 00:47:41,358 --> 00:47:44,610 I'm sure we can break them of that. 861 00:47:46,530 --> 00:47:47,530 (CHAIN JINGLES) 862 00:47:47,614 --> 00:47:48,781 (TICKING) 863 00:47:49,157 --> 00:47:51,284 If you'll excuse me, I have a matter to attend to. 864 00:47:51,910 --> 00:47:53,661 Until we meet again. 865 00:47:59,084 --> 00:48:01,919 Patience, patience, I'm proud of you, Chon. 866 00:48:02,629 --> 00:48:04,463 We must find the Seal. 867 00:48:06,967 --> 00:48:08,134 What do you see? 868 00:48:08,218 --> 00:48:09,218 ROY: Shh, shh, shh! 869 00:48:14,474 --> 00:48:17,226 He just pulled a fancy dragon key out of his desk. 870 00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:18,769 That was my father's! 871 00:48:18,812 --> 00:48:20,479 I must avenge his honor. 872 00:48:20,522 --> 00:48:22,815 Slow down, tiger. Slow down. 873 00:48:22,858 --> 00:48:25,151 Quit going all Chinese on me. 874 00:48:26,194 --> 00:48:27,945 Chon, Chon, Chon... 875 00:48:29,156 --> 00:48:30,698 Where is he? 876 00:48:30,782 --> 00:48:32,992 Damn it, Chon, remember your puzzle box, patience. 877 00:48:33,076 --> 00:48:34,327 Patience. 878 00:48:35,370 --> 00:48:36,871 There are no windows. 879 00:48:36,955 --> 00:48:38,664 And we just came in through the only doorway. 880 00:48:38,707 --> 00:48:40,499 That leaves one explanation. 881 00:48:40,584 --> 00:48:42,209 Remember in Roy O'Bannon vs. The Mummy 882 00:48:42,294 --> 00:48:43,544 how the zombie king got away 883 00:48:43,629 --> 00:48:45,212 when I chased him into the pharaoh's tomb? 884 00:48:45,297 --> 00:48:48,049 There's a secret passageway behind the Sphinx. 885 00:48:48,133 --> 00:48:51,886 Now, there's gotta be a lever or a button over here. 886 00:48:51,970 --> 00:48:53,095 Help me lift some stuff up. 887 00:48:53,180 --> 00:48:55,181 We're gonna... (GRUNTS) 888 00:49:07,527 --> 00:49:08,527 Roy! 889 00:49:08,612 --> 00:49:11,530 The painting! It's looking at me. Look! 890 00:49:11,573 --> 00:49:14,450 Yeah, yeah. Looks like it's looking at me, too. That's great. That's... 891 00:49:14,534 --> 00:49:16,702 No, real eyes... Moving! 892 00:49:16,870 --> 00:49:19,330 No, Chon, that kid got to you, didn't he? 893 00:49:19,373 --> 00:49:21,540 Unbelievable! We're not in a haunted house. 894 00:49:21,625 --> 00:49:23,709 That's a technique that an artist uses. 895 00:49:23,752 --> 00:49:26,796 "Ubiquitous gaze" or "pursuant eyes" is the technical term. 896 00:49:27,381 --> 00:49:30,174 It's unnerving though, I'll give you that. 897 00:49:32,052 --> 00:49:33,427 (ROY GRUNTS) 898 00:49:34,304 --> 00:49:35,346 Roy... 899 00:49:35,389 --> 00:49:37,390 Now, those eyes... Look! 900 00:49:37,933 --> 00:49:39,642 Whatever you say, Chon. 901 00:49:44,564 --> 00:49:47,191 Let's see what you got here, Rathbone. 902 00:49:51,238 --> 00:49:52,238 Huh? 903 00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:53,864 Roy! 904 00:49:53,907 --> 00:49:54,991 (AIR HISSES) 905 00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:59,036 What, Chon? Are the statues moving now? 906 00:50:06,712 --> 00:50:07,712 Wow! 907 00:50:12,509 --> 00:50:13,968 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 908 00:50:18,598 --> 00:50:19,682 Oh! 909 00:50:33,363 --> 00:50:34,780 (MUFFLED GRUNTING) 910 00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:36,282 Mm-mmm! 911 00:50:36,908 --> 00:50:37,950 Roy! 912 00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:39,285 What? 913 00:50:39,327 --> 00:50:43,039 Damn it, I can't even hear myself think with you shouting at me, Chon. 914 00:50:44,082 --> 00:50:45,166 Chon? 915 00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:48,377 Chon? 916 00:50:49,171 --> 00:50:50,296 Chon? 917 00:50:51,798 --> 00:50:53,299 This is ridiculous. 918 00:50:53,383 --> 00:50:55,676 Chon, if you wanna act like a child and play little games, 919 00:50:55,761 --> 00:50:57,219 then find someone else, okay? 920 00:50:57,304 --> 00:50:58,763 'Cause I take this stuff seriously. 921 00:50:58,805 --> 00:51:01,348 I'm here to work. I'm on a mission. 922 00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:02,933 (AIR HISSES) 923 00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:04,643 Chon? 924 00:51:06,313 --> 00:51:07,605 Okay, Chon. 925 00:51:07,647 --> 00:51:09,982 Okay, you little Chinese otter. 926 00:51:10,609 --> 00:51:11,984 Let's play. 927 00:51:14,196 --> 00:51:15,321 Hah! 928 00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:28,793 Aah! Aah! Chon, demons! 929 00:51:28,835 --> 00:51:30,836 Aah! Aah! Aaah! 930 00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:33,130 Aah! Hyah! Hah! 931 00:51:33,173 --> 00:51:34,757 Aah! Aah! 932 00:51:34,841 --> 00:51:36,425 Hyah! Aah! 933 00:51:43,058 --> 00:51:44,225 Hah! Hah! 934 00:51:47,896 --> 00:51:50,564 She's gonna fight my battles for me. 935 00:51:50,649 --> 00:51:51,774 LIN: Come on. 936 00:51:52,776 --> 00:51:54,026 Let's go. 937 00:51:54,694 --> 00:51:56,987 What? What are you doing? 938 00:51:57,030 --> 00:51:59,031 That's kinky. I like it. 939 00:51:59,074 --> 00:52:00,074 Unh! 940 00:52:00,158 --> 00:52:01,534 Aah! Aah! 941 00:52:01,618 --> 00:52:03,035 Aah! Aah! Aah! 942 00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:04,078 Unh! 943 00:52:05,038 --> 00:52:06,497 Unh! Unh! 944 00:52:06,873 --> 00:52:09,250 Wow! Look at this. 945 00:52:13,046 --> 00:52:14,463 (WHOOSHING) 946 00:52:27,519 --> 00:52:28,561 Ooh! 947 00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:39,280 Unh! 948 00:52:39,406 --> 00:52:40,656 Unh! 949 00:52:44,161 --> 00:52:45,244 Aah! 950 00:52:54,588 --> 00:52:56,088 (SQUEAKING) 951 00:53:18,778 --> 00:53:21,113 Wait, there's something different about this room. 952 00:53:21,198 --> 00:53:23,365 (WHOOSHING CONTINUES) 953 00:53:31,791 --> 00:53:32,875 Huh? Oh! 954 00:53:32,959 --> 00:53:34,043 Ooh! 955 00:53:34,419 --> 00:53:35,419 Hey. 956 00:53:35,837 --> 00:53:37,338 Aah! Aah! 957 00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:39,340 Aah! 958 00:53:46,306 --> 00:53:47,806 Don't drop it! 959 00:54:04,407 --> 00:54:05,824 Let's go! 960 00:54:07,369 --> 00:54:08,744 - Wang! - Chon, for God's sakes. 961 00:54:08,828 --> 00:54:10,621 - Lin. - Now he shows up. 962 00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:14,083 - I found it. - Wait, Chon. Do you want to hear? 963 00:54:14,167 --> 00:54:15,751 LIN: The Seal's gone. 964 00:54:23,843 --> 00:54:25,552 (WIND WHISTLING) 965 00:54:40,443 --> 00:54:42,486 (WHISTLING CONTINUES) 966 00:54:50,161 --> 00:54:51,203 Lin. 967 00:54:52,747 --> 00:54:53,831 Roy! 968 00:54:54,874 --> 00:54:56,875 ROY: Are we gonna come back? 969 00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,210 WANG: Roy! 970 00:54:58,295 --> 00:54:59,295 (SIGHS) 971 00:55:07,262 --> 00:55:08,554 (TWIG SNAPS) 972 00:55:08,596 --> 00:55:10,764 Must you keep doing that? 973 00:55:10,974 --> 00:55:13,892 I was taught not to be seen or heard. 974 00:55:15,562 --> 00:55:16,562 The Seal. 975 00:55:16,646 --> 00:55:18,397 I am a man of my word. 976 00:55:22,402 --> 00:55:24,820 I remember watching my brother play with this 977 00:55:24,904 --> 00:55:26,280 like a baby rattle. 978 00:55:28,241 --> 00:55:30,284 When I'd try to touch it, 979 00:55:30,368 --> 00:55:32,453 the dowager empress beat me. 980 00:55:33,913 --> 00:55:35,748 RATHBONE: No doubt your deprived childhood 981 00:55:35,790 --> 00:55:38,083 made you into the man you are today. 982 00:55:38,126 --> 00:55:39,126 (GASPS) 983 00:55:39,210 --> 00:55:40,377 Wu Chow. 984 00:55:40,420 --> 00:55:41,628 Wu who? 985 00:55:42,714 --> 00:55:44,506 He's the emperor's bastard brother. 986 00:55:44,591 --> 00:55:46,800 He was banished from the Forbidden City 987 00:55:46,885 --> 00:55:48,802 for trying to steal the Imperial Seal. 988 00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:50,304 Our father caught him. 989 00:55:50,388 --> 00:55:53,098 He vowed to return to claim the emperor's throne. 990 00:55:54,392 --> 00:55:55,642 This guy? 991 00:55:56,394 --> 00:55:58,562 RATHBONE: I'll assume everything has been arranged as discussed. 992 00:55:58,605 --> 00:56:01,482 You have nothing to worry about. It's all in place. 993 00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:04,777 That diamond is as big as a damn monkey's paw. 994 00:56:04,819 --> 00:56:05,986 Roy... 995 00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:08,614 Don't even think about it. 996 00:56:08,656 --> 00:56:10,866 I'm just admiring the craftsmanship, Chon. 997 00:56:10,950 --> 00:56:14,119 So for now, our business is completed. 998 00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:23,253 Where's Lin? 999 00:56:33,264 --> 00:56:34,348 Aah! 1000 00:56:34,641 --> 00:56:36,517 Aah! Aah! Oh! 1001 00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:38,519 Hey! Hey! 1002 00:56:41,314 --> 00:56:42,731 Aah! Aah! 1003 00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:43,982 Aah! Gotcha! 1004 00:56:46,820 --> 00:56:48,987 Just looking out for number one. 1005 00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:50,072 No! 1006 00:56:50,156 --> 00:56:51,949 The kid got the Seal! 1007 00:56:55,578 --> 00:56:56,912 Unh! Unh! 1008 00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:10,175 ROY: Chon! 1009 00:57:13,012 --> 00:57:14,388 Aah! Aah! 1010 00:57:19,436 --> 00:57:20,811 It's stuck. 1011 00:57:29,904 --> 00:57:30,946 Lin! 1012 00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:36,326 Hurry! 1013 00:57:37,537 --> 00:57:38,704 (GRUNTING) 1014 00:57:43,209 --> 00:57:45,502 Go! You can do it! 1015 00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:47,254 ROY: She's got it. 1016 00:57:47,338 --> 00:57:48,630 She's got it. 1017 00:57:48,715 --> 00:57:50,007 She's got it! 1018 00:57:50,049 --> 00:57:51,133 Roy! 1019 00:57:51,342 --> 00:57:52,551 Come on! 1020 00:57:52,886 --> 00:57:55,053 Chon, what in our history together 1021 00:57:55,138 --> 00:57:57,514 makes you think I'm capable of something like that? 1022 00:57:57,557 --> 00:57:59,099 - Roy! - I can't do that! 1023 00:57:59,184 --> 00:58:01,894 - Hurry up! - (SIGHS) Wait... 1024 00:58:02,645 --> 00:58:03,937 There's a better way. 1025 00:58:04,105 --> 00:58:06,064 ROY: Yee-haw! 1026 00:58:06,816 --> 00:58:09,234 (SINGING) Every day I get in the queue 1027 00:58:09,277 --> 00:58:11,612 Too much, magic bus 1028 00:58:11,696 --> 00:58:14,156 To get on the bus that takes me to you 1029 00:58:14,449 --> 00:58:15,616 Slow down! 1030 00:58:15,700 --> 00:58:17,075 I'm a bat out of hell! 1031 00:58:17,243 --> 00:58:18,577 Yee-haw! 1032 00:58:19,078 --> 00:58:20,704 Besides, I don't know where the brake is. 1033 00:58:20,747 --> 00:58:21,747 What? 1034 00:58:25,084 --> 00:58:26,126 Look out! 1035 00:58:26,211 --> 00:58:27,753 Aah! 1036 00:58:27,837 --> 00:58:29,505 (BOTH SCREAMING) 1037 00:58:29,589 --> 00:58:32,674 Magic bus, magic bus, magic bus 1038 00:58:32,759 --> 00:58:36,303 Magic bus, magic bus, magic bus 1039 00:58:36,888 --> 00:58:38,263 Magic bus 1040 00:58:41,434 --> 00:58:44,436 Now I've got my magic bus 1041 00:58:44,479 --> 00:58:46,897 (SCREAMING CONTINUES) 1042 00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:49,608 Now I've got my magic bus 1043 00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:50,776 So, what now, buddy? 1044 00:58:50,860 --> 00:58:53,737 Relax, relax. Smooth sailing from here. 1045 00:58:54,614 --> 00:58:56,365 Too much, magic bus 1046 00:58:57,992 --> 00:58:59,076 BOTH: Aaah! 1047 00:58:59,118 --> 00:59:00,327 (CRASH, GLASS BREAKING) 1048 00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:05,999 Yes, these are the men who attacked me. 1049 00:59:06,709 --> 00:59:10,837 I'm afraid the assailants have temporarily eluded us, my lord. 1050 00:59:10,922 --> 00:59:15,717 Perhaps you could explain to me how Loony Lin managed to escape 1051 00:59:15,802 --> 00:59:18,470 from the confines of Scotland Yard under the watch 1052 00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:22,849 of the most respected police force in the world. 1053 00:59:23,184 --> 00:59:26,144 Yes, of course, it's absolutely fascinating. 1054 00:59:26,229 --> 00:59:28,355 Um, she picked the lock 1055 00:59:28,439 --> 00:59:31,817 using a deck of rather risqué playing cards. 1056 00:59:32,110 --> 00:59:36,363 Then scaled the walls with a mop, a fork, 1057 00:59:36,447 --> 00:59:38,699 and various pilfered undergarments. 1058 00:59:38,825 --> 00:59:40,409 You've gotta hand it to the Chinese, 1059 00:59:40,493 --> 00:59:43,120 they are an awfully ingenious lot, aren't they? 1060 00:59:44,372 --> 00:59:46,832 Does your incompetence know no bounds? 1061 00:59:48,835 --> 00:59:49,835 (SIGHS) 1062 00:59:51,838 --> 00:59:54,047 (TRIPPY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1063 00:59:59,679 --> 01:00:03,307 (SINGING) it's the time of the season 1064 01:00:04,851 --> 01:00:07,477 When the love runs high 1065 01:00:07,895 --> 01:00:11,523 In this time, give it to me easy 1066 01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:16,153 And let me try with pleasured hands 1067 01:00:16,237 --> 01:00:17,863 Where am I? 1068 01:00:19,324 --> 01:00:20,407 Lin! 1069 01:00:22,243 --> 01:00:23,410 I don't even know these women. 1070 01:00:24,037 --> 01:00:26,997 It's the time of the season 1071 01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:28,999 Lin, what are you doing here? 1072 01:00:29,042 --> 01:00:30,834 For loving 1073 01:00:30,877 --> 01:00:32,169 Oh, Lord. 1074 01:00:32,712 --> 01:00:35,505 You want to try the position on page 37? 1075 01:00:40,803 --> 01:00:42,846 Come here, you little minx. 1076 01:00:43,556 --> 01:00:44,556 (BLEATS) 1077 01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:46,725 What? 1078 01:00:48,478 --> 01:00:52,773 It's the time of the season 1079 01:00:52,857 --> 01:00:53,899 For loving 1080 01:00:53,983 --> 01:00:56,193 Aaah! 1081 01:00:56,235 --> 01:00:57,235 (PAINFULLY) Oh! 1082 01:00:58,321 --> 01:00:59,363 Oh! 1083 01:00:59,405 --> 01:01:01,156 - You okay? - No, I'm not okay. 1084 01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:03,700 I've just been violated by a barnyard animal. 1085 01:01:05,578 --> 01:01:06,578 Unh! 1086 01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:08,288 (SHEEP BLEATING) 1087 01:01:08,373 --> 01:01:11,792 Who would leave a pile of stones in the middle of the field? 1088 01:01:11,876 --> 01:01:14,586 I don't know, Chon. These people are nuts. 1089 01:01:16,297 --> 01:01:17,547 Come on. 1090 01:01:21,636 --> 01:01:23,970 ROY: Can I tell you something? WANG: What? 1091 01:01:25,264 --> 01:01:27,599 ROY: This is a hell of a damn adventure we're on, 1092 01:01:27,684 --> 01:01:29,726 and I'm having an absolute ball with you. 1093 01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:33,689 Me, too. 1094 01:01:37,193 --> 01:01:38,360 (HORSE WHINNIES) 1095 01:01:38,444 --> 01:01:40,612 Here we go, here we go. 1096 01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:42,531 Get your thumb out, Maharaja. 1097 01:01:42,615 --> 01:01:44,116 Get over here. 1098 01:01:44,826 --> 01:01:46,159 Excuse me! 1099 01:01:48,454 --> 01:01:49,705 - Lin! - Lin! 1100 01:01:51,499 --> 01:01:53,208 (HORSE WHINNIES) 1101 01:01:57,797 --> 01:02:00,632 My shoulder's getting a little tight. Aah! 1102 01:02:01,592 --> 01:02:04,511 This is your first time in England, isn't it? 1103 01:02:05,138 --> 01:02:08,432 How do you know your way around? It's incredible. 1104 01:02:08,474 --> 01:02:10,475 I always had a good sense of direction. 1105 01:02:10,518 --> 01:02:12,477 Oh, you can say that again. 1106 01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:15,689 I wish we could say the same about you-know-who. 1107 01:02:15,982 --> 01:02:17,566 I once sent him over a mountain range. 1108 01:02:17,650 --> 01:02:18,942 He was lost forever. 1109 01:02:19,110 --> 01:02:20,193 (CHUCKLES) 1110 01:02:20,278 --> 01:02:23,155 One time, I sent him over the Great Wall. 1111 01:02:23,197 --> 01:02:24,656 He was lost for three days. 1112 01:02:24,699 --> 01:02:26,491 Three days? Nunh-unh. 1113 01:02:26,534 --> 01:02:27,868 (LAUGHS) 1114 01:02:28,661 --> 01:02:30,954 Oh, gosh, we got a lot in common. 1115 01:02:31,330 --> 01:02:33,498 I've never met anybody like you, Roy. 1116 01:02:33,583 --> 01:02:34,666 Really? 1117 01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:35,834 Yeah. 1118 01:02:36,419 --> 01:02:40,172 Hey, can I tell you something without you getting offended? 1119 01:02:40,256 --> 01:02:41,339 What? 1120 01:02:41,674 --> 01:02:44,384 You have a great body. 1121 01:02:44,469 --> 01:02:45,469 (LAUGHS) 1122 01:02:45,511 --> 01:02:47,429 There! I said it! It's out in the open. 1123 01:02:47,513 --> 01:02:48,805 (LAUGHS) 1124 01:02:50,141 --> 01:02:51,391 You must work out. 1125 01:02:51,476 --> 01:02:52,726 (GIGGLING) Me? 1126 01:02:52,810 --> 01:02:54,144 Excuse me. 1127 01:02:55,021 --> 01:02:56,021 I... 1128 01:02:56,105 --> 01:02:58,106 Chon, what are you doing? 1129 01:02:58,524 --> 01:02:59,691 I don't like the backseat. 1130 01:02:59,776 --> 01:03:01,026 What? 1131 01:03:01,110 --> 01:03:04,029 Makes me sick... Dizzy. 1132 01:03:10,828 --> 01:03:12,329 ROY: Whitechapel... 1133 01:03:13,372 --> 01:03:15,624 This looks like a nice enough neighborhood. 1134 01:03:15,708 --> 01:03:17,042 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 1135 01:03:18,795 --> 01:03:20,378 What is Puss 'n' Boots? 1136 01:03:20,421 --> 01:03:21,713 It's a boardinghouse. 1137 01:03:21,798 --> 01:03:24,716 Some of the sailors on the ship coming over recommended it. 1138 01:03:25,051 --> 01:03:27,177 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 1139 01:03:29,222 --> 01:03:31,056 Come on. Come on! 1140 01:03:40,107 --> 01:03:41,733 I won't let my sister stay here. 1141 01:03:41,776 --> 01:03:43,902 What are we supposed to do? Check in to The Savoy? 1142 01:03:43,945 --> 01:03:45,737 We'll get arrested before we get to our room. 1143 01:03:45,822 --> 01:03:47,781 I don't mind this place. 1144 01:03:51,744 --> 01:03:54,037 See? A little open-minded. 1145 01:03:54,956 --> 01:03:56,081 (CHUCKLES) 1146 01:03:56,165 --> 01:03:58,875 I know it sounds crazy 'cause I just met her, 1147 01:03:58,918 --> 01:04:00,752 but I think I'm falling for her. 1148 01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:02,087 I think she's the one. 1149 01:04:02,213 --> 01:04:03,964 Roy, she's my baby sister. 1150 01:04:04,048 --> 01:04:07,425 I know she is. Thank God! That's the only chance I've got. 1151 01:04:07,468 --> 01:04:09,469 Look, I'm getting ready to launch a little thing 1152 01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:11,304 called, "Operation Sweep Her Off Her Feet." 1153 01:04:11,597 --> 01:04:13,598 You're in a position to talk me up. 1154 01:04:13,641 --> 01:04:14,891 Can I count on you? 1155 01:04:14,934 --> 01:04:17,102 Please, buddy, I've never asked you for anything. 1156 01:04:17,186 --> 01:04:19,437 Sure, Roy, I'll tell her the truth. 1157 01:04:19,522 --> 01:04:20,772 Don't get hung up on the truth. 1158 01:04:20,857 --> 01:04:23,441 Feel free to smooth out your old pal's rough edges. 1159 01:04:24,735 --> 01:04:25,819 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 1160 01:04:25,903 --> 01:04:27,279 I love you, buddy. 1161 01:04:27,780 --> 01:04:29,614 (PIANO PLAYS IN DISTANCE) 1162 01:04:29,699 --> 01:04:31,283 (DOOR HINGES SQUEAK) 1163 01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:33,702 Lin, come. 1164 01:04:37,456 --> 01:04:38,790 (GRUNTS SOFTLY) 1165 01:04:39,458 --> 01:04:40,500 WANG: Sit. 1166 01:04:40,626 --> 01:04:42,794 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE) 1167 01:04:44,672 --> 01:04:45,964 (DOOR HINGES SQUEAK) 1168 01:04:54,974 --> 01:04:56,349 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1169 01:05:03,232 --> 01:05:04,232 (SIGHS) 1170 01:05:05,985 --> 01:05:07,402 Hello, love. 1171 01:05:07,486 --> 01:05:08,653 Fancy a tumble? 1172 01:05:08,738 --> 01:05:09,988 Oh! 1173 01:05:10,615 --> 01:05:14,075 Where were you two days ago? I would have bedded you in a second. 1174 01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:16,453 Now you're looking at a changed man. 1175 01:05:16,495 --> 01:05:18,955 I'm sort of saving myself for someone special. 1176 01:05:18,998 --> 01:05:20,916 I'll give you a discount. 1177 01:05:22,001 --> 01:05:24,961 That's the most romantic thing any woman's ever said to me. 1178 01:05:26,797 --> 01:05:28,465 Oh! You better go. 1179 01:05:28,799 --> 01:05:30,842 You better go before we lose control. Go! 1180 01:05:31,510 --> 01:05:33,178 If you change your mind... 1181 01:05:33,220 --> 01:05:34,304 Roy! 1182 01:05:41,604 --> 01:05:42,729 WANG: Lin... 1183 01:05:43,064 --> 01:05:46,066 Our father would talk about the right man for you. 1184 01:05:46,150 --> 01:05:47,400 He must be strong... 1185 01:05:47,610 --> 01:05:48,860 All right. 1186 01:05:49,195 --> 01:05:51,363 ...courageous, and a good father. 1187 01:05:51,822 --> 01:05:52,989 Like Roy. 1188 01:05:53,032 --> 01:05:54,157 We got her, Chon. 1189 01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:55,700 Not like Roy. 1190 01:05:56,452 --> 01:05:57,869 You don't know him like I do. 1191 01:05:58,245 --> 01:06:00,163 He has many bad habits. 1192 01:06:00,873 --> 01:06:02,123 Such as? 1193 01:06:02,208 --> 01:06:05,919 He drinks, smokes and he gambles. 1194 01:06:06,003 --> 01:06:07,587 Chon, where are you going with this? 1195 01:06:07,713 --> 01:06:09,547 He sleeps with women for money. 1196 01:06:09,632 --> 01:06:10,882 What are you... 1197 01:06:10,967 --> 01:06:13,385 Roy don't do that. I can see inside him. 1198 01:06:13,469 --> 01:06:14,886 (SIGHS) 1199 01:06:14,929 --> 01:06:16,388 He has a good heart. 1200 01:06:16,430 --> 01:06:17,597 That's right. 1201 01:06:17,682 --> 01:06:20,183 His salmon don't swim upstream. 1202 01:06:20,226 --> 01:06:21,226 Huh? 1203 01:06:21,310 --> 01:06:22,394 He shoots blanks. 1204 01:06:22,478 --> 01:06:23,728 Aah! Aah! 1205 01:06:24,563 --> 01:06:26,231 Lin, he cannot be trusted. 1206 01:06:26,273 --> 01:06:28,191 How could you say that? 1207 01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:29,776 You're his friend. 1208 01:06:29,860 --> 01:06:31,987 Yeah, sort of. 1209 01:06:32,405 --> 01:06:34,239 Roy is the type of a friend 1210 01:06:34,281 --> 01:06:36,199 you never introduce to your other friends 1211 01:06:36,242 --> 01:06:37,951 or bring home to your family. 1212 01:06:38,035 --> 01:06:39,494 He never speak the truth. 1213 01:06:39,578 --> 01:06:40,829 You know what I call him? 1214 01:06:40,913 --> 01:06:43,748 Not Roy O'Bannon, Roy O'Baloney. 1215 01:06:45,418 --> 01:06:46,876 I don't care. 1216 01:06:47,128 --> 01:06:49,212 Lin, I forbid it. 1217 01:06:50,589 --> 01:06:52,465 You are not my father. 1218 01:06:54,093 --> 01:06:55,093 (DOOR OPENS) 1219 01:06:55,177 --> 01:06:56,219 (SIGHS) 1220 01:06:56,262 --> 01:06:58,263 (MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING) 1221 01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:04,436 Roy, there you are. 1222 01:07:05,438 --> 01:07:06,771 Hi. 1223 01:07:07,273 --> 01:07:08,440 Mm-hmm. 1224 01:07:09,233 --> 01:07:11,526 You need anything, buddy? 1225 01:07:11,610 --> 01:07:13,820 A whole lot of leave-me-alone. 1226 01:07:16,699 --> 01:07:18,033 What's wrong? 1227 01:07:20,494 --> 01:07:23,455 Nothing. I guess I just woke up on wrong side of the bed. 1228 01:07:23,497 --> 01:07:26,541 I feel a little pain in my back like someone put a knife there. 1229 01:07:26,625 --> 01:07:27,876 I'm okay. 1230 01:07:28,419 --> 01:07:30,211 Don't worry about me. 1231 01:07:30,713 --> 01:07:34,340 (SINGING) Yes, it's the saddest experience 1232 01:07:34,508 --> 01:07:36,760 You'll ever know 1233 01:07:37,636 --> 01:07:39,471 Because one is the loneliest number 1234 01:07:39,555 --> 01:07:40,638 WANG: Roy! 1235 01:07:46,145 --> 01:07:47,395 Ta-da! 1236 01:07:47,855 --> 01:07:49,647 That actually reminds me of a trick. 1237 01:07:49,690 --> 01:07:51,649 - You ever seen this one? - Ooh! 1238 01:07:51,734 --> 01:07:52,942 Or this one? Aah! 1239 01:07:52,985 --> 01:07:53,985 Ooh! 1240 01:07:54,070 --> 01:07:55,320 You think you're so cool 1241 01:07:55,362 --> 01:07:59,074 with your karate and your childlike reflexes. 1242 01:07:59,325 --> 01:08:00,408 Aaaah! 1243 01:08:00,493 --> 01:08:01,493 Oh! 1244 01:08:01,744 --> 01:08:03,244 Roy, you okay? 1245 01:08:04,330 --> 01:08:06,081 Look at you. (CHUCKLES) 1246 01:08:06,749 --> 01:08:08,958 Do you really call me "Roy Baloney"? 1247 01:08:12,505 --> 01:08:13,838 Roy, you don't understand. 1248 01:08:13,881 --> 01:08:16,174 You just smashed my puzzle box. 1249 01:08:17,968 --> 01:08:19,969 I'll never figure out my message. 1250 01:08:20,012 --> 01:08:21,513 - Roy... - Go. 1251 01:08:23,766 --> 01:08:25,433 You're dead to me. 1252 01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:27,936 I don't know a Chon Wang. 1253 01:08:31,232 --> 01:08:32,232 (SIGHS) 1254 01:08:42,034 --> 01:08:43,076 What... 1255 01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:44,911 ALL: Hi, Roy. 1256 01:08:46,455 --> 01:08:48,206 Who loves you, baby? 1257 01:08:48,290 --> 01:08:49,332 Nice try, Chon. 1258 01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:50,542 Roy... 1259 01:08:51,043 --> 01:08:52,377 I'm sorry. 1260 01:08:58,092 --> 01:09:00,802 You do that again and you're a dead man. 1261 01:09:05,808 --> 01:09:07,100 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 1262 01:09:11,564 --> 01:09:12,772 Pillow fight! 1263 01:09:12,857 --> 01:09:15,233 (SINGING) Every evening, when all my day's work is through 1264 01:09:15,317 --> 01:09:17,569 I call my baby and ask her, "What shall we do?" 1265 01:09:17,653 --> 01:09:20,405 I mention movies, and she don't seem to dig that 1266 01:09:20,447 --> 01:09:22,740 And then she asks me, why don't I come to the flat 1267 01:09:22,825 --> 01:09:25,076 And have some supper and have the evening pass by 1268 01:09:25,119 --> 01:09:28,204 By playing records beside the groovy Hi-Fi? 1269 01:09:28,247 --> 01:09:29,747 I said yeh, yeh 1270 01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:31,040 That's what I say 1271 01:09:31,083 --> 01:09:32,083 I said yeh, yeh 1272 01:09:33,127 --> 01:09:35,795 My baby loves me, she gets me feeling so fine 1273 01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:38,464 When she loves me, she makes me know that she's mine 1274 01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:40,216 I said yeh, yeh 1275 01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:41,885 I am Roy Baloney! 1276 01:09:41,927 --> 01:09:43,094 Yes! 1277 01:09:43,137 --> 01:09:45,138 - I'm full of it! - You are! 1278 01:09:45,431 --> 01:09:48,266 We'll play a melody and turn the lights down low 1279 01:09:48,350 --> 01:09:49,559 So that none can see 1280 01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:51,978 We gotta do that, we gotta do that 1281 01:09:52,062 --> 01:09:54,939 We gotta do that, we gotta do that 1282 01:09:54,982 --> 01:09:58,526 And there'll be no one else alive in all the world 1283 01:09:58,611 --> 01:09:59,819 'Cept you and me 1284 01:09:59,904 --> 01:10:02,280 Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh 1285 01:10:02,323 --> 01:10:04,282 Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh 1286 01:10:04,325 --> 01:10:06,784 My pretty baby, I never knew such a thrill 1287 01:10:06,827 --> 01:10:09,537 It's hard to tell you, because I'm tremblin' still 1288 01:10:09,622 --> 01:10:12,790 My pretty baby, I want you all for my own 1289 01:10:13,125 --> 01:10:14,459 Roy? 1290 01:10:14,627 --> 01:10:16,753 (SHOUTING, LAUGHTER CONTINUE) 1291 01:10:20,925 --> 01:10:22,008 Lin! 1292 01:10:22,092 --> 01:10:23,468 (LAUGHTER, SHOUTING STOP) 1293 01:10:26,096 --> 01:10:27,680 It was his idea. 1294 01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:30,558 - Chon! - Clothes! 1295 01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:31,643 (GRUNTS) 1296 01:10:31,977 --> 01:10:34,020 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 1297 01:11:01,340 --> 01:11:02,340 (GASPS) 1298 01:11:03,259 --> 01:11:05,009 Nice night for a walk. 1299 01:11:06,011 --> 01:11:07,011 Aah! 1300 01:11:09,890 --> 01:11:11,266 (SPLASH) 1301 01:11:11,392 --> 01:11:13,017 (CURSING IN MANDARIN) 1302 01:11:13,727 --> 01:11:14,811 ROY: Lin! 1303 01:11:14,853 --> 01:11:16,229 - Lin! - There you are! 1304 01:11:16,313 --> 01:11:17,647 What are you doing? 1305 01:11:17,690 --> 01:11:20,024 Don't you know there's a serial killer on the loose? 1306 01:11:20,651 --> 01:11:22,026 Forget it. 1307 01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:23,736 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) 1308 01:11:26,073 --> 01:11:27,615 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) 1309 01:11:29,868 --> 01:11:31,369 Who the hell are these guys? 1310 01:11:31,620 --> 01:11:32,662 Boxers. 1311 01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:34,163 What do they want with us? 1312 01:11:34,206 --> 01:11:35,707 RATHBONE: They're with me. 1313 01:11:39,044 --> 01:11:41,671 I think we need to have a little chat. 1314 01:11:51,765 --> 01:11:53,182 Chon Wang, 1315 01:11:54,101 --> 01:11:56,853 the man who defied an emperor. 1316 01:11:56,979 --> 01:11:59,564 The emperor should never have spared your life. 1317 01:12:00,149 --> 01:12:01,316 I see. 1318 01:12:01,900 --> 01:12:03,776 You're still my brother's lapdog. 1319 01:12:03,861 --> 01:12:05,653 I'm here not for him. 1320 01:12:06,572 --> 01:12:08,489 I'm here for my father. 1321 01:12:08,657 --> 01:12:10,325 Of course you are. 1322 01:12:13,704 --> 01:12:17,081 It was my dagger that plunged into his heart. 1323 01:12:17,458 --> 01:12:19,542 It's still crusted with his blood. 1324 01:12:19,585 --> 01:12:20,585 Unh! 1325 01:12:20,711 --> 01:12:22,128 (GRUNTING) 1326 01:12:24,089 --> 01:12:26,257 I know the boy has the Seal. 1327 01:12:26,550 --> 01:12:27,759 Where is he? 1328 01:12:27,801 --> 01:12:29,093 We don't know. 1329 01:12:29,178 --> 01:12:30,928 That's the truth. We don't know. 1330 01:12:31,221 --> 01:12:32,263 Mmm... 1331 01:12:33,849 --> 01:12:36,267 What are you... What are you doing? 1332 01:12:36,894 --> 01:12:37,894 Unh! 1333 01:12:39,605 --> 01:12:40,605 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1334 01:12:40,689 --> 01:12:42,774 ROY: Stop! Put her down! 1335 01:12:42,858 --> 01:12:44,359 Put her down! Put her down! 1336 01:12:44,443 --> 01:12:46,194 Or what, Mr. O'Bannon? 1337 01:12:46,278 --> 01:12:48,279 Are you gonna kick my ass? 1338 01:12:49,031 --> 01:12:52,033 I've read all about your ridiculous exploits. 1339 01:12:52,117 --> 01:12:53,451 I mean, just... 1340 01:12:53,702 --> 01:12:57,663 How does it feel to kill a mummy with your bare hands? 1341 01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:00,166 Only a nation of uneducated rednecks 1342 01:13:00,250 --> 01:13:02,794 would be amused by such cowboy drivel. 1343 01:13:02,836 --> 01:13:04,796 Whoa, whoa, easy. 1344 01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:07,298 What's with the personal attacks? 1345 01:13:07,466 --> 01:13:09,050 You don't see me making any comments 1346 01:13:09,134 --> 01:13:11,135 about your pasty complexion 1347 01:13:11,178 --> 01:13:12,887 or your snotty accent, 1348 01:13:12,971 --> 01:13:15,681 or even your filthy, smutty sex books. 1349 01:13:15,766 --> 01:13:17,683 Yeah, I saw your book. It disgusted me. 1350 01:13:17,768 --> 01:13:20,103 Aah! Aaah! 1351 01:13:20,145 --> 01:13:22,772 Oh, why is it always the head with you people? 1352 01:13:24,608 --> 01:13:25,942 - ROY: Hold it! - (MUFFLED) Unh! 1353 01:13:25,984 --> 01:13:28,361 Stop! Hold it! Just hold it! 1354 01:13:28,445 --> 01:13:31,072 What are we doing here? Guys, look at this. 1355 01:13:31,156 --> 01:13:33,783 We're acting like animals over what? 1356 01:13:34,076 --> 01:13:35,410 Some seal? 1357 01:13:35,661 --> 01:13:37,954 The Seal represents imperial power. 1358 01:13:38,747 --> 01:13:41,374 I will use it to unite the emperor's enemies 1359 01:13:41,458 --> 01:13:44,460 and storm the Forbidden City. 1360 01:13:44,503 --> 01:13:45,920 What's in it for you? 1361 01:13:46,130 --> 01:13:48,214 You're looking at the future king of England. 1362 01:13:48,298 --> 01:13:50,174 You're like the 20th in line to the throne. 1363 01:13:50,217 --> 01:13:51,592 10th. 1364 01:13:51,677 --> 01:13:57,014 But my friend is about to change all that by a simple process of elimination. 1365 01:13:58,851 --> 01:13:59,851 (SNAPS) 1366 01:14:01,562 --> 01:14:03,521 It's called a machine gun. 1367 01:14:03,564 --> 01:14:06,774 The first of its kind. It fires 200 rounds a minute. 1368 01:14:06,859 --> 01:14:09,193 Testament to British ingenuity. 1369 01:14:09,862 --> 01:14:14,157 Oh, so you steal the Seal, and then you knock off nine royals? 1370 01:14:15,993 --> 01:14:18,619 You got the short end of that stick, my friend. 1371 01:14:20,038 --> 01:14:22,373 Unh! Unh! 1372 01:14:22,708 --> 01:14:24,208 Dump them in the river. 1373 01:14:25,169 --> 01:14:26,169 Unh! 1374 01:14:26,211 --> 01:14:27,420 Where are you taking her? 1375 01:14:27,504 --> 01:14:29,338 To make history. 1376 01:14:29,381 --> 01:14:31,591 I can already see the headlines... 1377 01:14:31,675 --> 01:14:35,887 "Nation mourns as Loony Lin massacres Royal Family." 1378 01:14:39,391 --> 01:14:41,434 Unh! Unh! 1379 01:14:41,852 --> 01:14:43,436 Unh! Unh! 1380 01:14:50,068 --> 01:14:54,197 I need your assurance that you will find the Seal. 1381 01:14:54,239 --> 01:14:55,907 Don't concern yourself. 1382 01:14:55,949 --> 01:14:57,992 My men are scouring the city. 1383 01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,411 You better pray they find it, 1384 01:15:01,413 --> 01:15:07,043 or our agreement is over, and you will never get the crown. 1385 01:15:09,087 --> 01:15:10,254 (SIGHS) 1386 01:15:14,384 --> 01:15:16,761 Chon, I got a confession to make. 1387 01:15:17,429 --> 01:15:19,388 You're in love with my sister. 1388 01:15:19,431 --> 01:15:21,098 That, but... 1389 01:15:21,350 --> 01:15:24,227 I didn't lose all the money on the zeppelins. 1390 01:15:24,269 --> 01:15:25,311 No? 1391 01:15:25,854 --> 01:15:29,607 No, I blew most of it on the Roy O'Bannon novels. 1392 01:15:30,108 --> 01:15:31,609 I wrote them. 1393 01:15:31,652 --> 01:15:33,361 No, Sage McCallister wrote them. 1394 01:15:33,445 --> 01:15:34,779 That's what I'm saying, buddy. 1395 01:15:34,863 --> 01:15:36,489 I'm Sage McCallister. 1396 01:15:41,578 --> 01:15:43,120 You wrote those lies? 1397 01:15:43,163 --> 01:15:44,956 I've always had low self-esteem. 1398 01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:46,499 How many books did you print? 1399 01:15:46,583 --> 01:15:48,751 I self-published probably a million copies. 1400 01:15:48,794 --> 01:15:49,794 (SIGHS) 1401 01:15:49,878 --> 01:15:51,712 We were actually second to the Bible that year. 1402 01:15:51,797 --> 01:15:52,797 Oh, you... 1403 01:15:52,881 --> 01:15:56,801 I guess I'm just about the worst friend a guy could ask for. 1404 01:15:57,386 --> 01:15:58,427 (SIGHS) 1405 01:15:58,470 --> 01:16:01,305 No, you're a good friend. 1406 01:16:01,932 --> 01:16:02,974 Thank you. 1407 01:16:03,016 --> 01:16:06,185 If you really love Lin, I won't stand in the way. 1408 01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:07,562 Really? 1409 01:16:07,646 --> 01:16:09,855 But if you break her heart, 1410 01:16:10,566 --> 01:16:11,941 I'll break your legs. 1411 01:16:11,984 --> 01:16:13,401 That's fair. 1412 01:16:13,485 --> 01:16:14,652 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 1413 01:16:14,695 --> 01:16:17,572 (SIGHS) Well, friends to the end, Chon. 1414 01:16:17,948 --> 01:16:19,657 And this is the end. 1415 01:16:20,492 --> 01:16:21,492 (SIGHS) 1416 01:16:24,580 --> 01:16:25,746 Chon, you got a plan? 1417 01:16:25,831 --> 01:16:27,331 You wouldn't happen to have a plan, would you? 1418 01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:28,416 Yes. 1419 01:16:28,500 --> 01:16:30,293 - Anything I can do? - No. 1420 01:16:30,460 --> 01:16:33,212 Good. I'll let you do the heavy lifting, then. 1421 01:16:34,339 --> 01:16:35,673 (GRUNTS) 1422 01:16:40,679 --> 01:16:41,846 (GRUNTS) 1423 01:16:43,015 --> 01:16:44,181 (GRUNTING) 1424 01:16:46,476 --> 01:16:48,144 (SHOUTING) 1425 01:16:48,186 --> 01:16:49,186 Chon, hurry! 1426 01:16:49,271 --> 01:16:50,271 (WANG GRUNTING) 1427 01:16:51,857 --> 01:16:52,857 (GRUNTS) 1428 01:16:53,525 --> 01:16:55,526 - MAN: Aaah! - (WHOOSHING) 1429 01:16:55,569 --> 01:16:56,569 ROY: Chon! 1430 01:16:56,653 --> 01:16:57,695 Chon! Chon, hurry! 1431 01:16:57,779 --> 01:16:58,904 Hurry! 1432 01:16:58,989 --> 01:17:00,698 Hurry! Chon, hurry! 1433 01:17:00,782 --> 01:17:01,866 Roy! 1434 01:17:05,704 --> 01:17:06,871 Coming! 1435 01:17:08,832 --> 01:17:09,832 Chon! 1436 01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:11,125 (SHOUTING IN MANDARIN) 1437 01:17:11,209 --> 01:17:12,209 Oh! 1438 01:17:13,545 --> 01:17:15,046 ROY: The water's so dirty! 1439 01:17:15,130 --> 01:17:17,214 No! No! It's dirty! No! 1440 01:17:21,845 --> 01:17:23,054 (GASPS) 1441 01:17:31,396 --> 01:17:32,855 (GRUNTING) 1442 01:17:38,528 --> 01:17:39,528 Aah! 1443 01:17:42,949 --> 01:17:43,949 Aah! 1444 01:17:45,202 --> 01:17:48,412 Just go ahead and drown me. I don't care anymore. 1445 01:17:49,581 --> 01:17:51,248 Aaah! 1446 01:17:52,125 --> 01:17:53,209 Roy! 1447 01:17:54,252 --> 01:17:55,252 (GRUNTS) 1448 01:18:00,676 --> 01:18:02,426 (HISSING) 1449 01:18:07,432 --> 01:18:08,933 (MUFFLED) 1450 01:18:14,106 --> 01:18:15,106 (GRUNTING) 1451 01:18:29,496 --> 01:18:30,746 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1452 01:18:38,422 --> 01:18:40,381 (KNOCKING CONTINUES) 1453 01:18:52,477 --> 01:18:54,228 You look ridiculous. 1454 01:18:54,312 --> 01:18:56,021 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 1455 01:18:56,106 --> 01:18:57,606 I think we look good. 1456 01:18:59,985 --> 01:19:03,028 I really must protest this intrusion. 1457 01:19:03,113 --> 01:19:07,158 Every bobby in London is out scouring the streets for you two. 1458 01:19:07,242 --> 01:19:08,659 Have you been drinking? 1459 01:19:08,869 --> 01:19:12,121 I always drink when my employment's been terminated. 1460 01:19:12,164 --> 01:19:13,247 They fired you? 1461 01:19:13,331 --> 01:19:15,249 Your Lord Rathbone saw to that. 1462 01:19:15,333 --> 01:19:16,375 I'm sorry. 1463 01:19:17,252 --> 01:19:19,295 It's of no consequence. 1464 01:19:19,337 --> 01:19:22,298 I never wanted to be an inspector in the first place. 1465 01:19:22,340 --> 01:19:24,341 It was my father's idea. 1466 01:19:25,010 --> 01:19:27,136 I always wanted to be a writer. 1467 01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:29,305 Yeah. 1468 01:19:29,347 --> 01:19:31,098 Artie, we need your help. 1469 01:19:31,183 --> 01:19:32,725 Rathbone has taken Lin. 1470 01:19:32,809 --> 01:19:35,811 He's gonna kill the Royal Family and he's gonna assume the throne. 1471 01:19:35,854 --> 01:19:41,400 Do you have any evidence to support these preposterous allegations? 1472 01:19:41,526 --> 01:19:43,903 We have this. It's the boy's. 1473 01:19:44,529 --> 01:19:46,906 Use your technique. Tell us where he is. 1474 01:19:48,909 --> 01:19:51,368 Paraffin wax... Most interesting. 1475 01:19:52,120 --> 01:19:54,872 He's at a church. The little punk's hiding in a church. 1476 01:19:54,915 --> 01:19:56,290 No, no, no. 1477 01:19:56,374 --> 01:19:58,125 It's not candle wax. 1478 01:19:58,418 --> 01:19:59,668 I have it. 1479 01:20:02,005 --> 01:20:03,339 (MUFFLED TALKING) 1480 01:20:03,381 --> 01:20:05,090 - Don't worry. You'll get it. - What are you doing? 1481 01:20:05,175 --> 01:20:06,383 He's picking the lock. 1482 01:20:06,468 --> 01:20:08,344 - Hurry up! - Chon, please! 1483 01:20:08,386 --> 01:20:10,554 It's a very meticulous process. 1484 01:20:10,597 --> 01:20:14,058 Let Artie do his job. It's almost an art form. 1485 01:20:14,100 --> 01:20:15,601 It takes the precision of a surgeon. 1486 01:20:16,561 --> 01:20:18,437 You have to be so precise. 1487 01:20:18,522 --> 01:20:21,190 Maybe if we jam another one in there. 1488 01:20:25,529 --> 01:20:26,987 That works, too. 1489 01:20:27,322 --> 01:20:29,281 Lacks a certain finesse. 1490 01:20:33,036 --> 01:20:35,621 All right, all right. Let's split up. 1491 01:20:54,933 --> 01:20:55,933 Ugh. 1492 01:21:10,782 --> 01:21:11,782 Aaah! 1493 01:21:13,118 --> 01:21:14,952 (GRUNTING) 1494 01:21:22,919 --> 01:21:24,295 (GRUNTING) 1495 01:21:37,601 --> 01:21:38,767 Ugh. 1496 01:21:38,810 --> 01:21:39,810 Aah! 1497 01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,562 (RAGTIME PIANO MUSIC PLAYS) 1498 01:21:41,646 --> 01:21:42,980 What the... 1499 01:21:47,152 --> 01:21:49,820 I am gonna break your neck. Come here. 1500 01:21:56,828 --> 01:21:57,912 Aaah! 1501 01:21:57,996 --> 01:21:59,038 Aah! 1502 01:22:06,254 --> 01:22:08,339 (MAN SHOUTING IN CANTONESE) 1503 01:22:09,758 --> 01:22:10,925 (SHOUTING IN CANTONESE) 1504 01:22:11,009 --> 01:22:12,343 (SHOUTING IN CANTONESE) 1505 01:22:12,427 --> 01:22:13,844 (CLANKING) 1506 01:22:19,768 --> 01:22:21,018 CHARLIE: Ah-choo! 1507 01:22:29,819 --> 01:22:30,861 (GASPS) 1508 01:22:30,904 --> 01:22:31,946 Looky, here. 1509 01:22:32,030 --> 01:22:34,114 - Come on, where is it? - What? 1510 01:22:34,199 --> 01:22:35,783 You know what I'm talking about. 1511 01:22:35,867 --> 01:22:37,242 Don't give me that "what." 1512 01:22:37,327 --> 01:22:39,161 What do we got here? 1513 01:22:39,204 --> 01:22:40,621 Oh, yes. 1514 01:22:42,248 --> 01:22:44,458 You don't mind if I take this back, do you? 1515 01:22:44,584 --> 01:22:46,043 Go on, get out of here. 1516 01:22:46,086 --> 01:22:47,086 Go! 1517 01:22:47,170 --> 01:22:48,212 WANG: Roy? 1518 01:22:48,254 --> 01:22:49,338 I got it. 1519 01:22:52,467 --> 01:22:53,968 MAN: Give me the Seal. 1520 01:22:55,053 --> 01:22:57,054 Give me the Seal! 1521 01:23:10,360 --> 01:23:12,194 - MAN: All right, spread out! - (WHISTLE BLOWS) 1522 01:23:12,237 --> 01:23:13,737 Through there! 1523 01:23:14,614 --> 01:23:15,906 Let's go. 1524 01:23:16,574 --> 01:23:18,075 (PANTING) 1525 01:23:25,583 --> 01:23:27,084 The gig's up. 1526 01:23:28,086 --> 01:23:29,086 (SIGHS) 1527 01:23:29,170 --> 01:23:30,170 (HOOFBEATS) 1528 01:23:36,553 --> 01:23:38,512 So what are we gonna do? 1529 01:23:41,433 --> 01:23:42,850 Come on, think! 1530 01:23:42,934 --> 01:23:44,977 I'm not going to an English prison. 1531 01:23:45,061 --> 01:23:48,355 With my feathery blond hair and Chon's athletic build, 1532 01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:49,982 they'll try to make us the belle of the ball. 1533 01:23:50,066 --> 01:23:51,984 Forget it. I'm not going back. 1534 01:23:53,069 --> 01:23:54,111 ARTIE: Well... 1535 01:23:54,154 --> 01:23:56,447 At least we'll get a good view of the fireworks 1536 01:23:56,531 --> 01:23:57,865 from Scotland Yard. 1537 01:23:58,241 --> 01:23:59,283 Fireworks? 1538 01:23:59,367 --> 01:24:00,367 Yeah. 1539 01:24:00,452 --> 01:24:02,411 At midnight, they're launching this huge display 1540 01:24:02,454 --> 01:24:04,288 from a flotilla of barges on the Thames. 1541 01:24:04,330 --> 01:24:06,790 It's the official kickoff to the Queen's jubilee. 1542 01:24:07,459 --> 01:24:09,293 Is the Royal Family gonna be there? 1543 01:24:10,211 --> 01:24:12,671 They're gonna be viewing the spectacle from a balcony 1544 01:24:12,756 --> 01:24:14,465 overlooking the river. 1545 01:24:14,549 --> 01:24:16,425 He's got a machine gun on the barge. 1546 01:24:18,178 --> 01:24:19,219 Yes. 1547 01:24:20,472 --> 01:24:21,472 (THUD) 1548 01:24:21,806 --> 01:24:23,265 (FOOTSTEPS) 1549 01:24:23,433 --> 01:24:24,433 (GRUNTS) 1550 01:24:28,813 --> 01:24:30,272 You gents lost your way? 1551 01:24:30,315 --> 01:24:31,857 Kid, tell me you got a way out. 1552 01:24:42,911 --> 01:24:43,994 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 1553 01:24:45,705 --> 01:24:46,997 ROY: Nice move, kid. 1554 01:24:47,248 --> 01:24:48,582 So why did you come back? 1555 01:24:49,417 --> 01:24:51,210 Why did you give up the Seal? 1556 01:24:53,963 --> 01:24:55,631 'Cause I'm a fool. 1557 01:24:57,258 --> 01:24:58,926 Guess I'm a fool, too. 1558 01:24:59,552 --> 01:25:01,178 Put her there, fool. 1559 01:25:02,305 --> 01:25:03,514 I never got your name. 1560 01:25:03,598 --> 01:25:05,224 Name's Chaplin. 1561 01:25:05,809 --> 01:25:08,102 Charlie Chaplin. 1562 01:25:09,521 --> 01:25:10,729 (SYMPHONIC MUSIC PLAYS) 1563 01:25:12,273 --> 01:25:13,690 (CHEERING) 1564 01:25:30,458 --> 01:25:32,209 (CHEERS INTENSIFY) 1565 01:25:48,601 --> 01:25:50,435 (SPEAKING MANDARIN) 1566 01:26:05,743 --> 01:26:07,411 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 1567 01:26:08,413 --> 01:26:09,830 Excuse me. 1568 01:26:09,914 --> 01:26:11,081 Excuse me, please! 1569 01:26:11,166 --> 01:26:12,499 Excuse me. 1570 01:26:21,217 --> 01:26:22,801 You warn the Royal Family. 1571 01:26:22,886 --> 01:26:24,178 I'll save Lin. 1572 01:26:24,262 --> 01:26:26,263 How on Earth are you gonna do that? 1573 01:26:26,306 --> 01:26:27,306 Aaah! 1574 01:26:39,944 --> 01:26:41,862 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 1575 01:26:46,159 --> 01:26:48,076 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 1576 01:26:57,253 --> 01:26:58,754 (BELL TOLLS) 1577 01:27:12,310 --> 01:27:14,102 (TOLLING CONTINUES) 1578 01:27:23,321 --> 01:27:25,322 (HIGH-PITCHED HISSING) 1579 01:27:30,286 --> 01:27:31,912 Ooh! (LAUGHING) 1580 01:27:46,219 --> 01:27:47,511 (GASPS) 1581 01:27:53,351 --> 01:27:54,643 You okay? 1582 01:27:55,353 --> 01:27:56,353 (GRUNTING) 1583 01:28:00,692 --> 01:28:01,984 I just saved you! 1584 01:28:02,026 --> 01:28:03,193 You were late! 1585 01:28:03,278 --> 01:28:04,444 What? 1586 01:28:07,198 --> 01:28:08,323 (LAUGHING) 1587 01:28:09,033 --> 01:28:10,117 Nelson? 1588 01:28:23,172 --> 01:28:24,881 Why are you hiding yourself back there? 1589 01:28:24,924 --> 01:28:27,217 I shouldn't like to impede your view, Your Highness. 1590 01:28:27,260 --> 01:28:29,303 Nonsense! You arranged all this. 1591 01:28:29,387 --> 01:28:31,138 You should have a front-row view. 1592 01:28:31,222 --> 01:28:34,391 I regret that respectfully I must decline. 1593 01:28:35,143 --> 01:28:37,477 I need to keep a good eye on proceedings. 1594 01:28:39,731 --> 01:28:41,398 Whoo! (LAUGHING) 1595 01:28:42,358 --> 01:28:44,484 Nelson, you've outdone yourself. 1596 01:28:44,694 --> 01:28:47,070 Wait till you see the finale. 1597 01:28:51,576 --> 01:28:52,868 LIN: Hey! 1598 01:28:55,621 --> 01:28:56,705 Hey! 1599 01:28:57,415 --> 01:28:59,082 (SHOUTING) 1600 01:29:02,086 --> 01:29:03,128 Oh! 1601 01:29:34,869 --> 01:29:36,036 Ugghh! 1602 01:30:08,569 --> 01:30:09,945 This is hopeless. 1603 01:30:09,987 --> 01:30:11,822 We're not gonna get past the guards. 1604 01:30:11,864 --> 01:30:13,490 Not with that attitude, we won't. 1605 01:30:13,533 --> 01:30:15,992 Come on, Artie, there's gotta be a way. There's always... 1606 01:30:16,077 --> 01:30:17,536 (HORSE NEIGHS) 1607 01:30:28,673 --> 01:30:30,006 LIN: Aaah! 1608 01:30:30,883 --> 01:30:31,967 Lin! 1609 01:30:59,996 --> 01:31:01,079 Aaah! 1610 01:31:08,212 --> 01:31:09,463 (HORSE NEIGHS) 1611 01:31:09,547 --> 01:31:10,547 ROY: Yeah! 1612 01:31:10,631 --> 01:31:11,882 Yee-haw! 1613 01:31:12,508 --> 01:31:13,717 Yee-haw! 1614 01:31:15,720 --> 01:31:17,387 We got to jump it! 1615 01:31:17,972 --> 01:31:19,055 Aaah! 1616 01:31:21,225 --> 01:31:22,350 (NEIGHS) 1617 01:31:22,393 --> 01:31:23,393 Aaah! 1618 01:31:23,478 --> 01:31:24,561 Aaah! 1619 01:31:42,705 --> 01:31:44,164 (SQUEAKING) 1620 01:32:05,269 --> 01:32:06,645 (WHOOSHES) 1621 01:32:08,648 --> 01:32:10,106 LIN: Wu Chow! 1622 01:32:19,450 --> 01:32:21,284 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1623 01:32:22,662 --> 01:32:23,662 (SIGHS) 1624 01:32:27,458 --> 01:32:29,209 Hold it right there, Rathboner. 1625 01:32:29,293 --> 01:32:30,502 (HORSE NEIGHS) 1626 01:32:30,586 --> 01:32:31,795 Ugh! Oh. 1627 01:32:32,088 --> 01:32:33,463 I'm guessing by your hasty retreat 1628 01:32:33,506 --> 01:32:36,007 that you're still 20th in line for the throne. 1629 01:32:36,092 --> 01:32:37,175 10th. 1630 01:32:37,385 --> 01:32:39,803 Inspector Doyle, arrest this man. 1631 01:32:43,266 --> 01:32:44,307 He's got a gun! 1632 01:32:44,392 --> 01:32:45,433 Oh! 1633 01:32:47,728 --> 01:32:48,979 Come on! 1634 01:32:50,648 --> 01:32:51,731 You okay? 1635 01:32:51,816 --> 01:32:53,233 What happened? 1636 01:32:53,317 --> 01:32:55,986 Rathbone nailed Artie with a little sissy gun. 1637 01:32:56,070 --> 01:32:57,904 I'll look after him. You two go. 1638 01:32:57,989 --> 01:32:58,989 Go! 1639 01:33:07,164 --> 01:33:08,540 For Father. 1640 01:33:09,250 --> 01:33:10,625 For Father. 1641 01:33:11,210 --> 01:33:12,836 For old man Wang. 1642 01:33:17,508 --> 01:33:19,926 My lucky playing cards. 1643 01:33:28,769 --> 01:33:30,145 Be careful. 1644 01:33:31,022 --> 01:33:33,398 Tell Rathbone to be careful. 1645 01:33:33,482 --> 01:33:34,983 Roy, let's go. 1646 01:33:42,325 --> 01:33:44,367 You're gonna need a bigger gun! 1647 01:34:02,261 --> 01:34:03,511 You see him? 1648 01:34:03,554 --> 01:34:04,596 No. 1649 01:34:05,222 --> 01:34:07,223 Show your face, Rathbone! 1650 01:34:07,350 --> 01:34:09,017 I'm gonna tear this guy apart. 1651 01:34:09,060 --> 01:34:10,894 Roy, you go this way, I'll go that way. 1652 01:34:10,936 --> 01:34:13,855 Split up? I don't know if that's a good idea. 1653 01:34:13,898 --> 01:34:15,231 It's okay. 1654 01:34:15,983 --> 01:34:17,067 Aah. 1655 01:34:24,325 --> 01:34:25,950 He's not up here. 1656 01:34:27,912 --> 01:34:29,537 WANG: Roy, keep going. 1657 01:34:33,209 --> 01:34:34,834 Come on, Roy. 1658 01:34:48,224 --> 01:34:49,974 Hey, uh, Rathbone, 1659 01:34:50,601 --> 01:34:53,687 was just thinking of a title for my new book, 1660 01:34:53,979 --> 01:34:57,357 Roy O'Bannon vs. Little Lord Sissy. 1661 01:34:57,942 --> 01:35:01,194 Or what about Roy O'Bannon vs. The Man Who Would Be Queen? 1662 01:35:04,699 --> 01:35:06,116 No sign of him, Chon. 1663 01:35:06,200 --> 01:35:07,826 The coast is clear up here. 1664 01:35:13,791 --> 01:35:15,291 Roy! Look out! 1665 01:35:16,085 --> 01:35:17,168 Aaah! 1666 01:35:17,962 --> 01:35:19,045 Roy! 1667 01:35:19,130 --> 01:35:20,213 Oops. 1668 01:35:22,091 --> 01:35:23,425 (GRUNTS) 1669 01:35:24,468 --> 01:35:26,136 RATHBONE: Come on up. 1670 01:35:26,178 --> 01:35:27,971 I'll show you how your father died. 1671 01:35:31,767 --> 01:35:32,976 Uuuhhh! 1672 01:35:36,147 --> 01:35:37,522 (CLINKING) 1673 01:36:05,968 --> 01:36:07,343 (GRUNTING) 1674 01:36:08,220 --> 01:36:09,721 Lord, help me. 1675 01:36:10,473 --> 01:36:12,974 Just let me know you're there. Love me. Hate me. 1676 01:36:13,017 --> 01:36:15,185 But let me know you're up there! 1677 01:36:15,269 --> 01:36:17,520 I can see our hotel from here. 1678 01:36:17,563 --> 01:36:18,688 Wow. 1679 01:36:18,731 --> 01:36:19,731 Uhh! 1680 01:36:19,815 --> 01:36:21,191 (CLINKING) 1681 01:36:31,744 --> 01:36:33,119 Come along. 1682 01:36:33,537 --> 01:36:34,954 I'm waiting. 1683 01:36:36,248 --> 01:36:38,541 Come on, Roy. Okay. 1684 01:36:38,584 --> 01:36:40,752 Roy O'Bannon will not go quietly. 1685 01:36:40,836 --> 01:36:42,170 You hear that, England? 1686 01:36:42,213 --> 01:36:44,047 Throw whatever you want at me, 1687 01:36:44,131 --> 01:36:47,050 your terrible weather, your perverted killers, 1688 01:36:47,092 --> 01:36:48,885 your spotted dick! 1689 01:36:48,928 --> 01:36:50,512 (GRUNTING) 1690 01:37:25,923 --> 01:37:27,590 Roy, you're about to die. 1691 01:37:27,675 --> 01:37:29,926 You're on the minute hand of a clock. 1692 01:37:29,969 --> 01:37:33,012 Oh! My life is flashing before my eyes. 1693 01:37:33,806 --> 01:37:36,432 Wait a minute. I don't remember her. 1694 01:37:52,074 --> 01:37:53,283 One more. 1695 01:38:08,674 --> 01:38:09,716 One more. 1696 01:38:31,947 --> 01:38:33,489 Oh! ( PANTING ) 1697 01:38:38,871 --> 01:38:40,538 How disappointing. 1698 01:38:43,542 --> 01:38:44,834 One more. 1699 01:38:57,348 --> 01:38:59,140 You killed my friend. 1700 01:39:05,314 --> 01:39:06,898 You killed my father! 1701 01:39:17,368 --> 01:39:18,493 Aaah! 1702 01:39:26,877 --> 01:39:28,962 Roy! (PANTING) 1703 01:39:29,046 --> 01:39:31,130 I thought you were dead! Oh! 1704 01:39:31,215 --> 01:39:35,885 You think some tea-drinking psycho can take out Roy O'Bannon? 1705 01:39:35,928 --> 01:39:37,345 (GRUNTING) 1706 01:39:41,558 --> 01:39:42,934 (GRUNTING) 1707 01:39:44,645 --> 01:39:46,020 (PANTING) 1708 01:39:47,439 --> 01:39:48,523 Whoa. 1709 01:39:48,565 --> 01:39:50,316 Easy there, cowboy. 1710 01:39:53,862 --> 01:39:54,946 Huh? 1711 01:39:55,030 --> 01:39:56,114 Aaah! 1712 01:39:58,784 --> 01:40:00,201 (WHIRRING) 1713 01:40:01,870 --> 01:40:02,954 Aaah! 1714 01:40:03,455 --> 01:40:04,580 Aaah! 1715 01:40:06,041 --> 01:40:07,667 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1716 01:40:13,257 --> 01:40:14,424 You got any ideas? 1717 01:40:14,550 --> 01:40:15,591 Aah. 1718 01:40:16,093 --> 01:40:17,719 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1719 01:40:19,471 --> 01:40:21,556 - (PANTING) We jump! - Jump? 1720 01:40:23,267 --> 01:40:24,559 You mean fall? 1721 01:40:25,144 --> 01:40:26,394 Aim for the flag! 1722 01:40:26,437 --> 01:40:27,812 Ah, shit. 1723 01:40:28,063 --> 01:40:29,397 (GRUNTS) 1724 01:40:29,440 --> 01:40:31,024 I gotta tell you something. 1725 01:40:31,108 --> 01:40:32,400 What? 1726 01:40:32,443 --> 01:40:35,111 You're the best sidekick I could ever ask for. 1727 01:40:35,154 --> 01:40:36,612 Thank you, Roy. 1728 01:40:36,655 --> 01:40:38,448 I feel the same about you. 1729 01:40:38,532 --> 01:40:39,741 (GRUNTS) 1730 01:40:39,783 --> 01:40:41,075 On three. 1731 01:40:41,118 --> 01:40:42,285 One... 1732 01:40:42,369 --> 01:40:43,578 Two... 1733 01:40:43,620 --> 01:40:44,787 BOTH: Three! 1734 01:40:44,872 --> 01:40:46,080 Aaaaah! 1735 01:40:51,503 --> 01:40:52,754 Aaaaaah! 1736 01:40:57,968 --> 01:40:59,052 Aaah! 1737 01:41:02,806 --> 01:41:06,100 Aaah! Aaah! Aaah-haa! 1738 01:41:06,143 --> 01:41:07,810 Aaah! Aaah! 1739 01:41:08,062 --> 01:41:09,604 Aaah! Aah! Aah! 1740 01:41:11,523 --> 01:41:12,982 Roy. Roy! 1741 01:41:13,067 --> 01:41:14,150 Aah! 1742 01:41:16,528 --> 01:41:17,695 Howdy. 1743 01:41:19,782 --> 01:41:21,657 (TRUMPET MUSIC PLAYS) 1744 01:41:22,034 --> 01:41:24,744 In recognition of outstanding bravery, 1745 01:41:25,245 --> 01:41:27,997 I dub you Sir Chon Wang. 1746 01:41:33,420 --> 01:41:35,421 For uncommon valor, 1747 01:41:35,506 --> 01:41:38,674 I dub you Sir Roy O'Bannon. 1748 01:41:44,640 --> 01:41:47,475 And for steadfast dedication to justice, 1749 01:41:48,185 --> 01:41:51,104 I dub you Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. 1750 01:41:56,902 --> 01:41:58,069 Arise. 1751 01:42:13,460 --> 01:42:15,211 Who loves you, baby? 1752 01:42:30,769 --> 01:42:31,894 (SIGHS) 1753 01:42:32,396 --> 01:42:33,563 MAN: Madam. 1754 01:42:36,108 --> 01:42:39,152 Artie, I bet Scotland Yard's dying to get you back now. 1755 01:42:39,236 --> 01:42:41,487 My official crime-fighting days are over. 1756 01:42:41,572 --> 01:42:42,864 The Queen has asked me to 1757 01:42:42,906 --> 01:42:45,074 accompany the Imperial Seal back to China. 1758 01:42:45,159 --> 01:42:46,409 What a week. Unbelievable. 1759 01:42:46,493 --> 01:42:48,411 She couldn't have picked a better man, right, Chon? 1760 01:42:48,495 --> 01:42:49,620 Yeah. 1761 01:42:49,705 --> 01:42:52,623 And the voyage is gonna give me time to work on my new novel. 1762 01:42:52,916 --> 01:42:54,917 It features a new kind of detective, 1763 01:42:54,960 --> 01:42:57,920 and he's gonna solve crimes using deductive reasoning. 1764 01:42:58,130 --> 01:42:59,589 Give me a name. What's his name? 1765 01:42:59,673 --> 01:43:01,340 Actually, Roy, I was rather hoping 1766 01:43:01,425 --> 01:43:04,051 to call him Sherlock Holmes, if that's all right with you. 1767 01:43:06,138 --> 01:43:08,431 I'd be insulted if you didn't use it. 1768 01:43:08,473 --> 01:43:09,891 (LAUGHING) 1769 01:43:11,393 --> 01:43:12,727 (GRUNTS) 1770 01:43:15,105 --> 01:43:16,314 See you, Artie. 1771 01:43:18,317 --> 01:43:20,484 That was very nice of you, Roy. 1772 01:43:20,569 --> 01:43:22,904 I would've kept the name if I thought it was any good. 1773 01:43:22,946 --> 01:43:24,655 It's a horrible name for a detective, 1774 01:43:24,740 --> 01:43:26,782 Sherlock Holmes, Holmes. 1775 01:43:26,825 --> 01:43:28,326 (LAUGHING) 1776 01:43:28,410 --> 01:43:30,286 Will you stop playing with that? I'm gonna smash it. 1777 01:43:30,329 --> 01:43:31,454 I just want to see it for a second. 1778 01:43:31,538 --> 01:43:32,580 Just let me see it. 1779 01:43:32,623 --> 01:43:34,332 No, you're gonna break it. 1780 01:43:35,334 --> 01:43:37,710 It's just a rock with some gibberish on it. 1781 01:43:37,794 --> 01:43:39,295 That's Chinese. 1782 01:43:40,797 --> 01:43:42,924 "Family is forever, my son. 1783 01:43:43,550 --> 01:43:46,052 "I'm proud you cast your own stone." 1784 01:43:48,138 --> 01:43:50,139 Wow. That's a good message. 1785 01:43:52,726 --> 01:43:53,726 (SIGHS) 1786 01:43:57,564 --> 01:44:00,107 I'd like to cast my own stone, Chon. 1787 01:44:07,157 --> 01:44:08,157 Hi. 1788 01:44:08,242 --> 01:44:09,283 Hi. 1789 01:44:14,498 --> 01:44:17,333 I told you, the house of O'Bannon will prevail. 1790 01:44:23,173 --> 01:44:25,466 Chon, I got a business proposition for you. 1791 01:44:26,009 --> 01:44:27,385 No more zeppelins. 1792 01:44:27,469 --> 01:44:29,303 No, no, this is much better than zeppelins... 1793 01:44:29,346 --> 01:44:32,640 A new thing they're starting out in California called moving pictures. 1794 01:44:32,683 --> 01:44:33,808 Pass. 1795 01:44:33,850 --> 01:44:35,309 Hold it. Hold it. Hear me out. 1796 01:44:35,352 --> 01:44:37,770 I really think these movies could play to your strength. 1797 01:44:37,854 --> 01:44:40,815 There's no sounds. We don't have to worry about the language problem. 1798 01:44:40,857 --> 01:44:44,694 And I think the kung fu stuff could be huge. 1799 01:44:44,736 --> 01:44:46,946 People are dying for a good action picture. 1800 01:44:47,406 --> 01:44:49,198 What do you think? 1801 01:44:49,283 --> 01:44:51,409 Chon Wang, movie star? 1802 01:44:51,994 --> 01:44:53,077 It could work. 1803 01:44:54,162 --> 01:44:56,747 ROY: I feel bad about ditching that Chaplin kid, 1804 01:44:56,832 --> 01:44:59,667 but we're gonna be running and gunning in Hollywood, 1805 01:44:59,710 --> 01:45:01,502 and he'd just cramp our style. 1806 01:45:01,545 --> 01:45:03,462 It's such a tough town. 1807 01:45:20,022 --> 01:45:21,439 Bloody tourists! 1808 01:45:22,232 --> 01:45:23,482 MAN: Action! 1809 01:45:23,775 --> 01:45:25,776 (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) 1810 01:45:27,988 --> 01:45:30,740 (SINGING) People try to put us d-down 1811 01:45:30,824 --> 01:45:33,242 Talkin' 'bout my generation 1812 01:45:33,285 --> 01:45:35,494 Just because we get around 1813 01:45:35,579 --> 01:45:38,247 Talkin' 'bout my generation 1814 01:45:39,583 --> 01:45:40,666 (LAUGHING) 1815 01:45:40,751 --> 01:45:42,585 You have to say "cut." 1816 01:45:43,587 --> 01:45:45,463 You just keep looking! 1817 01:45:45,756 --> 01:45:48,174 Talkin' 'bout my generation 1818 01:45:48,258 --> 01:45:49,258 Ouch. 1819 01:45:49,760 --> 01:45:52,928 This is my generation, baby 1820 01:45:53,388 --> 01:45:55,181 Come here, you little minx. 1821 01:45:55,640 --> 01:45:56,932 MAN: Cut. 1822 01:45:56,975 --> 01:46:00,102 - That was a good one, huh? - (LAUGHING) 1823 01:46:00,145 --> 01:46:01,562 (BUZZER) 1824 01:46:01,605 --> 01:46:04,732 Maybe on this one I should lick you. You think? 1825 01:46:05,192 --> 01:46:08,110 Like, after you lick me... That could be kind of good. 1826 01:46:08,945 --> 01:46:10,279 And, Jackie... 1827 01:46:10,655 --> 01:46:12,114 Jackie? Thank you. 1828 01:46:12,157 --> 01:46:14,492 Hi, Owen. Hello. How are you? 1829 01:46:14,576 --> 01:46:16,952 Okay. And I'm not Roy O'Bannon. 1830 01:46:17,037 --> 01:46:18,621 Who are you? 1831 01:46:18,663 --> 01:46:19,789 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1832 01:46:19,873 --> 01:46:21,624 Damn it, Chon, I think she's the one. 1833 01:46:21,708 --> 01:46:24,293 I know it's crazy. We just met, but she's the one. 1834 01:46:24,378 --> 01:46:26,837 No, Roy, she's my babysitter. 1835 01:46:29,633 --> 01:46:31,300 Your babys... 1836 01:46:31,551 --> 01:46:32,635 What? 1837 01:46:33,261 --> 01:46:34,303 Baby what? 1838 01:46:34,388 --> 01:46:35,388 Baby sister. 1839 01:46:35,472 --> 01:46:36,972 Baby... Baby sister? 1840 01:46:37,057 --> 01:46:39,183 Not babysitter, baby sister. 1841 01:46:39,267 --> 01:46:40,643 (LAUGHTER) 1842 01:46:44,398 --> 01:46:45,815 (LAUGHTER) 1843 01:46:49,528 --> 01:46:52,071 (THUD, GLASS BREAKING) 1844 01:46:52,155 --> 01:46:53,322 You okay? 1845 01:46:54,741 --> 01:46:55,741 MAN: Action! 1846 01:46:55,826 --> 01:46:57,326 (GRUNTS) 1847 01:46:57,411 --> 01:46:58,828 Ugh! 1848 01:46:58,912 --> 01:47:00,079 CHAN: What happened? 1849 01:47:00,414 --> 01:47:03,040 Roy is the type of a friend you never introduce 1850 01:47:03,125 --> 01:47:05,835 to your other friends or bring into your family. 1851 01:47:05,877 --> 01:47:07,503 He's... Look at his eyes. 1852 01:47:07,546 --> 01:47:09,588 They're brown... Full of shit. 1853 01:47:09,673 --> 01:47:10,923 Always... 1854 01:47:11,466 --> 01:47:13,092 Just bullshit all the time. 1855 01:47:13,760 --> 01:47:15,010 Yeah, have you ever heard of those? 1856 01:47:15,095 --> 01:47:17,680 They're parents. We have parents that love us. 1857 01:47:17,722 --> 01:47:20,641 You don't, 'cause you're a little orphan. 1858 01:47:20,684 --> 01:47:21,934 (LAUGHS) 1859 01:47:22,018 --> 01:47:25,020 We've got par... Yeah, parents. 1860 01:47:25,063 --> 01:47:27,481 Have you ever heard of those? We've got parents that love us. 1861 01:47:27,524 --> 01:47:30,151 But you don't, 'cause you're a little orphan. 1862 01:47:31,611 --> 01:47:33,237 Oh, n... Go on. 1863 01:47:33,321 --> 01:47:34,363 (LAUGHING) 1864 01:47:34,406 --> 01:47:36,866 So mean. (LAUGHING) 1865 01:47:37,534 --> 01:47:39,535 Chon Wang, movie star? 1866 01:47:40,245 --> 01:47:41,370 It could work. 1867 01:47:41,455 --> 01:47:44,206 It could work. You could do your own stunts. 1868 01:47:44,291 --> 01:47:45,833 What? Think about... 1869 01:47:45,876 --> 01:47:46,959 (LAUGHTER) 1870 01:47:49,379 --> 01:47:50,421 Aah! 1871 01:47:51,965 --> 01:47:53,340 Whoa! Whoa! 1872 01:47:54,968 --> 01:47:56,927 Stay here and be a good horsey 1873 01:47:57,012 --> 01:47:58,596 for the new sheriff. 1874 01:47:58,722 --> 01:48:00,514 Ouch! Oh! 1875 01:48:01,349 --> 01:48:02,683 Ow. That hurt. 1876 01:48:06,188 --> 01:48:07,396 Ow! Ooh! 1877 01:48:11,193 --> 01:48:12,234 Ow! 1878 01:48:14,738 --> 01:48:15,738 Oh! 1879 01:48:15,822 --> 01:48:16,864 Aaah! 1880 01:48:16,907 --> 01:48:18,741 (SPEAKING CANTONESE) 1881 01:48:19,409 --> 01:48:21,368 CHAN: You're supposed to catch me! 1882 01:48:21,411 --> 01:48:22,786 WANG: Roy, catch. 1883 01:48:24,539 --> 01:48:25,915 (LAUGHING) 1884 01:48:29,920 --> 01:48:32,171 - Jesus. - That's my fault. 1885 01:48:32,255 --> 01:48:35,549 Wait a second... This nut... 1886 01:48:35,592 --> 01:48:37,343 (CELL PHONE RINGS) 1887 01:48:40,347 --> 01:48:41,805 WILSON: Who did that? 1888 01:48:42,265 --> 01:48:43,432 Jackie Chan. 1889 01:48:43,475 --> 01:48:44,558 Me? 1890 01:48:44,601 --> 01:48:45,726 That's right. 1891 01:48:45,769 --> 01:48:46,936 (LAUGHTER) 1892 01:48:46,978 --> 01:48:49,063 First time, first time. 1893 01:48:49,105 --> 01:48:51,106 - The best take. - I'm sorry. 1894 01:48:51,149 --> 01:48:52,441 Hurry up! 1895 01:48:52,484 --> 01:48:54,276 ROY: Are you crazy? I can't do that! 1896 01:48:54,361 --> 01:48:56,654 This isn't Chinatown! I can't sail through the air! 1897 01:48:56,738 --> 01:48:57,821 I'm not gonna break my neck! 1898 01:48:57,906 --> 01:48:58,948 Roy! 1899 01:48:58,990 --> 01:49:00,032 What in our history together 1900 01:49:00,116 --> 01:49:02,785 makes you think I'm capable of something like that? 1901 01:49:02,827 --> 01:49:03,869 It's getting bigger! 1902 01:49:03,954 --> 01:49:04,954 There's gotta be a better way. 1903 01:49:04,996 --> 01:49:06,080 Roy! 1904 01:49:06,957 --> 01:49:08,040 Roy! 1905 01:49:09,459 --> 01:49:11,168 My ass is on fire. 1906 01:49:15,966 --> 01:49:18,676 (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) 1907 01:49:23,390 --> 01:49:26,350 (SINGING) I'm not content to be with you 1908 01:49:26,434 --> 01:49:28,227 In the daytime 1909 01:49:30,564 --> 01:49:33,315 Girl, I want to be with you 1910 01:49:33,400 --> 01:49:35,317 All of the time 1911 01:49:37,487 --> 01:49:40,322 The only time I feel all right 1912 01:49:40,365 --> 01:49:43,325 Is by your si-i-de 1913 01:49:44,452 --> 01:49:47,246 Girl, I want to be with you 1914 01:49:47,330 --> 01:49:48,789 All of the time 1915 01:49:48,832 --> 01:49:51,166 All day and all of the night 1916 01:49:53,169 --> 01:49:55,921 I believe that you and me 1917 01:49:56,006 --> 01:49:57,965 Last forever 1918 01:49:59,926 --> 01:50:02,886 Oh, yeah, all day and nighttime yours 1919 01:50:02,971 --> 01:50:04,888 Leave me never 1920 01:50:06,850 --> 01:50:09,852 The only time I feel all right 1921 01:50:09,936 --> 01:50:12,938 Is by your si-i-de 1922 01:50:14,024 --> 01:50:16,817 Girl, I want to be with you 1923 01:50:16,860 --> 01:50:18,319 All of the time 1924 01:50:18,361 --> 01:50:20,696 All day and all of the night 1925 01:50:21,615 --> 01:50:23,907 All day and all of the night 1926 01:50:25,076 --> 01:50:27,369 All day and all of the night 1927 01:50:29,456 --> 01:50:31,373 (WHISTLING) 1928 01:50:31,416 --> 01:50:33,208 All of the night 1929 01:50:34,669 --> 01:50:36,211 Oh, come on 1930 01:50:36,546 --> 01:50:38,047 (GUITAR SOLO) 1931 01:50:50,560 --> 01:50:53,395 The only time I feel all right 1932 01:50:53,480 --> 01:50:56,440 Is by your si-i-de 1933 01:50:57,317 --> 01:51:00,277 Girl, I want to be with you 1934 01:51:00,362 --> 01:51:01,737 All of the time 1935 01:51:01,821 --> 01:51:04,406 All day and all of the night 1936 01:51:04,449 --> 01:51:07,242 Girl, I want to be with you 1937 01:51:07,285 --> 01:51:08,535 All of the time 1938 01:51:08,578 --> 01:51:11,330 All day and all of the night 1939 01:51:11,414 --> 01:51:14,208 Girl, I want to be with you 1940 01:51:14,250 --> 01:51:15,751 All of the time 1941 01:51:15,794 --> 01:51:18,045 All day and all of the night 1942 01:51:18,088 --> 01:51:20,631 All day and all of the night 1943 01:51:20,715 --> 01:51:23,175 All day and all of the night 1944 01:51:24,219 --> 01:51:26,970 All day and all of the night 1945 01:51:28,098 --> 01:51:29,306 (MUSIC STOPS) 1946 01:51:29,391 --> 01:51:31,392 (MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS) 127724