Original subtitles

To meld the two halves of the sacred medallion together as one.

And at his touch,

the reborn shall be endowed

with extraordinary supernatural powers."

You've done well.

As agreed.

Pitiful.

Many people would pay more

to be the keeper of such a book.

The only pitiful thing in this room

is your life.

Okay.

Actually,

you have been quite generous, yeah?

[CAR HORN HONKING]

[SPEAKS IN CHINESE]

[DOG WHIMPERING]

It's nobody you know, okay?

[WHIMPERING]

It's fish. See?

[SPEAKS IN CHINESE]

Happy now?

Cheers.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

[YELLING IN CHINESE]

Uh, in English, please.

SNAKEHEAD: Stop wasting time, Giscard. Pull around the back.

Inspector.

Positive ID on Giscard. Kwun Yum Temple.

And he's got company. Copy that.

Hold your position.

[J'J'J"]

[CAR HORN HONKS]

Watson! Watson! We got him!

MAN: Pai Gow.

[MEN GROANING]

It's our guy.

All right, men.

[SIREN WAILING]

And Snakehead?

Snakehead was not confirmed, Watson.

We should wait.

My intelligence says he's here

and Giscard is his number one. We're going in.

[CHANTING]

I did not agree to this.

We are supposed to be partners. This is an Interpol operation.

The Hong Kong Police Department's involvement

is strictly a babysitting service.

[MEN CHUCKLE]

You don't like it, then take it up with your boss.

It's true.

Tell him we found it and we're in.

[PHONE BEEPS]

[CHANTING]

Full force, men.

Razor-sharp and all that.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

That's a temple. It's a holy place.

You cannot take guns in there.

Oh, right. Well, don't worry, Eddie, because you see these guns?

They're holey guns.

Because they make a rather big holey.

Holey. Do you get it? Holey.

[LAUGHS]

All right.

Move out, men!

Move. Left, right, left, right. Go, go, go, go, go.

Come on, come on, keep up.

[CRASHING]

Inter--

Freeze!

Damn.

Keep up. Keep up. Keep UP-

Interpol! Freeze!

[GROANING]

I'm fine.

The medallion.

[CHANTING IN CHINESE]

What the--?

You cannot come in he--

You will give me what I want.

[MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

What's that?

Check it out.

Go that way Got it.

[GRUNTING]

Pete r?

Eddie.

Interpol! Fre--

What the he--?

You okay?

This way, men. Follow me. Down here.

It's the cops!

We've gotta go now!

I need more time.

We haven't finished yet. It's too late.

We'll try again later! Hong Kong Police!

Jai!

Hang on!

Eddie!

Snakehead! Upstairs!

Right!

Damn!

Four months' work!

What did he want in the temple?

He's a smuggler, Eddie. I don't know.

Perhaps he's found a buyer for black-market Buddhas. The point is...

you let him get away.

Watson.

I also saw his face.

Interpol's all over me, and I can't stay here any longer

You must bring me the boy in Dublin.

I trust you will make my continued efforts--

Just bring me the boy.

Good job. Okay, this is what I want. Yeah?

All right, notify the team--

Yes? excuse me.

Yeah. Keep the change. Thank you.

Got it. The Sea Horizon.

[BEEPS]

[FOGHORN SOUNDING]

Where are you keeping the boy? He's in a safe place.

Very good. Take me to him.

Up there. Okay.

Where is he? Over here.

Wait, wait, wait. Put him down. Put him down!

Untie him. Don't hurt him.

Careful. Be careful.

Inspector, what's going on?

EDDIE: Snakehead's men.

Yes. Hello.

It's the boy.

Good morning, sir.

Show me the boy.

Oh. Of course.

That's him.

Treat him like a prince.

No problem, sir. We are ready to go.

[BEEPS]

MAN: Attention! This is the marine police.

You are ordered to stand down!

Prepare to be boarded.

Attention!

Ah, showtime! MAN: This is the marine police.

You are ordered to stand down!

Prepare to be boarded!

This is the marine police.

Look out!

Woo-hoo! Hey!

Let's go!

Quickly! Go! Go!

Are you ready?

I'll cover you.

The boy!

[LAUGHING]

Wave bye-bye!

MAN [OVER RADIO]: We've interrogated the prisoner, inspector.

The boy's been taken to Snakehead in Ireland. Repeat, Ireland.

Time for vacation.

Call me in Ireland.

Bring me back a snake head.

[CAR ALARM BEEPS]

Can I help you, sir? Yes.

I'm Inspector Eddie Yang from Hong Kong.

Oh, yes. You have an appointment to the commander.

[J'J'J"]

Nicole.

Inspector Eddie Yang.

I knew that there couldn't be two of you.

Nice.

You clean up well.

Thank you.

Come on.

It's been a long time.

Mm-hm. Three months.

I was assigned overseas and...

Oh, yeah.

You were gonna call me.

I didn't know you'd been assigned-- To Ireland?

Yes.

Yeah, well, you missed a few beats, Eddie.

I am now the official liaison

between the local Interpol office and Southeast Asian security forces.

Maybe if you stayed in touch like you promised...

Nicole.

I should have called.

I'm sorry.

That's worth something.

Not a lot, but something.

Commander?

Um, Inspector Yang is here to see you.

Oh, yes.

I'm Hammerstock-Smythe. Delighted to meet you, inspector.

Likewise, commander.

[DOOR OPENS]

Commander, I was just--

[J'J'J"]

What the bloody hell is he doing here?

Hello, Watson.

You're not telling me he's going to be working on this case?

Watson, we need all the help we can get.

Yes.

You remember this boy?

Yes, I saw him in the temple. So?

Who's he? COMMANDER: One moment.

Yes, I recognize him.

This is Lester Wong.

Snakehead's number two man.

Well, that's privileged information, eyes-only, need-to-know and all that.

I need to find him, Watson. Yes, well, I'm sorry, my friend,

but that's classified.

We've received a tip-oh'

that Snakehead does have a new shipment arriving tomorrow in Ireland.

Maybe the boy will come with it. Where?

We don't know.

Go back East, Eddie. Stick to what you know.

Watson! What?! I mean-- Sorry. What?

COMMANDER: Any more nonsense like this

and you will be off the case, and the inspector here will be in charge of it.

Satisfied? You've only been here five minutes.

[J'J'J"]

COMMANDER: Watson!

You are in my filing cabinet.

[CRASHING]

Yes.

I was just getting these.

I think we're in trouble.

MAN: Yes, I think everything is in order. What do you think?

Is it? Well, yes.

Well, let me have it checked out. Yes, sir.

Watson, wait.

Let's put Hong Kong behind us. I'm sorry, is somebody talking to me?

We were partners. We were good together.

You need me. Oh, really?

So, what do you want me to do?

Just welcome you back with open arms?

We had a good thing going, and you left!

Watson.

It just wasn't for me anymore.

I thought you understood.

Oh, I understand.

I understand that you didn't like me always being on top.

Hm? Hm?

Okay, you can be on top. Whatever you want.

Let's just do it together. Okay?

No, but you have fun doing it by yourself. All right?

[GASPS]

Uh...

You think because of the way...

Uh...

[LAUGHING AWKWARDLY]

Thank you.

Think we...

Well, we're not.

I'm a man!

Yes. Um, no, there's nothing wrong when two people love

one another. it's--

It's a good thing. I...

That's your fault, that is.

Now, I'm gonna go home and cook dinner for my wife!

So on a scale of one to 10,

how did that go?

About a seven.

Below zero.

I think I know just what you need.

Dinner.

Dinner? Mm, yes, dinner.

NICOLE: We need Watson for this investigation, Eddie.

He's stubborn, but if we can catch him off guard,

maybe loosen him up a little, I think we can work it out.

EDDIE: I'll just be myself.

Oh. One more thing.

Watson's family,

they don't know that he's an Interpol agent.

What do they think he is? A librarian.

A librarian? Yes.

Hi.

Nice apron. Thanks.

Look, you can't just turn up and barge in, you know.

Darling, I was wondering if you saw my spatula.

Charlotte, hello. Hello.

Please, please, come in. Please. Thank you.

Arthur, you didn't tell me we were having guests.

EDDIE: Hi. Hi.

Please, welcome. Didn't know myself.

[WHISPERING] We're librarians. Librarian?

Shh!

Charlotte, this is Eddie Yang from Hong Kong.

Um, are you staying for dinner?

NICOLE & EDDIE: Yes. WATSON: No. Absolutely not.

Thank you.

Oh, see what you've done to my chops?

What's that called?

Now?

Lamb 221 la victim.

Right. Well, yes. Come on, come on. You know the score.

You eat, you work.

[ANDY SUMMERS Y LOS MUSICOS' "TWIST AND SHOUT" PLAYING]

What brings you to Dublin, Eddie?

Um...

Right. I was looking for-- Looking for a rare book.

Yes, um, actually, we were wondering

if Arthur would help us find this rare book.

Oh, well, unfortunately, I'm looking for that book myself, so--

Maybe we could find it together.

But I'm head librarian, though, right?

Right.

You need help checking in?

I already checked in. Oh.

Okay.

Um...

Oh, hey. Here. Directions. Where to meet Watson tomorrow.

He told me to give them to you.

Why can't he just pick me up?

It's Watson.

You know. "Privileged information, eyes-only, need-to-know and all that."

So...

[J'J'J"]

Okay.

Nicole.

Yeah?

Tonight was fun.

Yeah.

[CAR ENG I NE STARTS]

[CHURCH BELL TOLLING]

EDDIE: Excuse me.

Is this place far away or close by? TAXI DRIVER: Far away.

Hop in the car and I'll take you. Thank you.

Ugh. Hey!

[J'J'J"]

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

MAN 1: What are you doing?

Move.

[PEOPLE YELLING]

Move! Move! Get out of the way!

WOMAN: Oh, my! Sorry.

MAN 2: Did you see that?

Hey, what are you doing?

Open this door!

Huh?

[SCREAMS]

MAN 3: Hey, what's going on?

MAN 4: Now, mind yourself.

[HORN HONKING]

Come on.

Wait a minute.

What are you doing? I haven't even done any--

Say it! Talk! Where's the boy?

You better let me out of here or I'm gonna kick your ass.

Speak English! You are hard to understand!

Have you ever heard of police brutality?

Sounds like fun. Aah!

One more chance until you kick the can.

You mean, "kick the bucket."

What?

You mean, "kick the bucket."

If you say so.

What kind of music you like?

Okay, okay, okay.

Just let me out and we can talk about this, all right?

He's coming in on some boat. I don't know what time. Some freighter, all right?

He'll be coming into the docks. A boat!

Look, just let me out of here!

Do you know how long I've been waiting here for you?

[EDDIE PANTING]

What's the matter? You sound like an obscene phone call.

You're out of shape.

You should keep fit.

Right, but let's not waste any more time, shall we?

[FOGHORN SOUNDS]

NICOLE: Pier 5. Well, that must be the ship, if Giscard's telling the truth.

WATSON: Let's hope so. It's all we've got to go on.

[J'J'J"]

[CAR ALARM BEEPS]

Now, these are very dangerous people, all right?

Do you have a gun?

No, are you going to give me one?

No, get your own bloody gun.

And remember, I'm head librarian, all right?

All right? BOTH: Yes.

WATSON: Right.

Here's the plan.

I'll circle around to the left. You circle ar--

You circle arou--

And I'll just bloody well talk to myself.

[J'J'J"]

Yeah.

You go straight through. Go around.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

WONG: Welcome, Chosen One.

Excuse me.

You're under arrest.

[J'J'J"]

Come on! He went this way!

MAN: Have you seen him?

There.

[GUNSHOTS]

Watson, come on!

Where's the boy?

We couldn't find him. Find him!

Shoot him.

You okay?

Go, go, go, go! Get the boy!

Interpol! Freeze!

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello? EDDIE: Hello, it's me.

Me, who?

Eddie! Where are you?

I'm trapped inside the container with the boy.

Stay right where you are. I'm on my way.

What color is it?

I don't know.

Watson.

Eddie's in a container. Which one?

I have absolutely no idea.

[BANGING]

There! There!

It's Eddie.

Eddie.

Eddie, it's Nicole. Just hang on.

Watson, get over here. I need your help!

Nicole!

Oh, my God!

Don't be afraid.

I'm not afraid.

We'll be all right.

MAN: We got control of the container. We believe that there's bodies inside.

I need an oxygen tank and a stretcher. Now!

NICOLE: Eddie, please don't leave me, Eddie.

Eddie, come back to me. Eddie, please.

You all right? NICOLE: Please.

Eddie, come back.

Nicole...

he's gone.

[SOBBING]

Come on.

God bless, Eddie.

God bless.

Nicole.

We've got work to do. You sure?

I'm sure.

Let's go.

I'm sorry I...

I wasn't there when you needed me most, my friend.

That was nice.

Thank you. I--

[YELLING]

Who are you? What's wrong?

What's the matter?

Who are you? What--?

What are we doing here? Where's my clothes?

[STAMMERING]

Watson.

[SCREAMING]

Watson! Get away from me!

Watson!

It must be fake.

We-- Well, it certainly looks like you.

My nose isn't that big.

It's really me. Are you sure?

Don't you think I recognize my own thing?

Well, it's cold in here. I mean, let me take a look.

Hey!

What's happening to me? All right, all right, all right.

Let's just

[IN HIGH VOICE] stay calm.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Um, I'm sure there's a perfectly rational explanation for this.

Uh, uh, think back.

You were on the boat, in the container.

Wh-- What happened?

Lights everywhere.

The boy. The boy?

Medallion. Yes.

Yes, yes, yes. I have it. It was in your pocket.

[J'J'J"]

What's this?

Wow.

Where did you go?

WATSON: Excuse me, nurse.

We're from Interpol.

Would you mind if we have a few moments with the boy?

You know, the man outside says you're not eating.

You should eat to gain strength.

[SPEAKING IN CHINESE]

[EDDIE VOMITS]

How are you feeling?

Feeling. Feel. Feeling.

Bit bumpy out there, was it, on the ocean waves?

Bit rough?

[MIMICS GOLF SWING]

Out there?

[MIMICS KNOCKING]

Out there on the high seas? Bumpity-bumpity?

Excuse me. Hm?

We have to take him for a checkup now.

Uh, yes, yes, yes-

Wait.

[J'J'J"]

I think this belongs to you.

Half for me?

WATSON: Nice lad.

You okay?

That nurse...

Whoo.

Yeah.

Her boots...

EDDIE: No.

Her boots.

Oh, boots.

Nurses don't wear boots.

[J'J'J"]

Hmm.

He)'-

Move, move! Watch out!

Get out of my way! I'm trying.

MAN: Get the boy. NURSE: Get back here.

What the heck?

Give me that!

There he goes! This way!

Come here.

MAN 1: I got him. I got him. MAN 2: There he is.

He's mine. I've got him. Ah!

Let's go.

Jai!

MAN 3: Clear all exits. MAN 4: Right, sir.

Watson, are you there? Hm?

Shh, I'm not here.

Yes.

What happened?

Oh, Snakehead's men. They were here for the boy.

I'm gonna keep him with me. Good idea. Keep him safe. Yes. Yes.

NICOLE: Watson, you did all this alone?

No, Eddie is--

I mean, I think I mentioned that Eddie wasn't the only one with a black belt.

Phew!

So you're all right?

Perfect.

Great. Okay. I'll see you back at the--

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna do a couple of press-ups and meet you back there.

Yes. Yes.

You just take care of the boy.

Eddie, listen- Watson, something wrong.

Yeah, Snakehead's men got away again, but at least the boy is safe.

I mean, something wrong with me.

Hit me.

What? Go on, hit me.

No,no,no, I can't do that

It's okay, I don't mind.

Well, I mind. I mean--

A chap could break a finger, you know.

Okay.

Use this.

No, thank you. I went before I came out.

No, hit me with this.

For real? Yes.

Oh, God.

There you go. All right?

Harder.

I can't do this. This is ridiculous.

The queen hits harder than that. How--

How dare you.

Oh, my God. Are you all right?

Oh, God. I'm so sorry, my friend. Did it hurt?

Of course it hurt.

But nothing.

I was shot before,

but I was okay.

Shoot me. Go ahead.

Huh? No, I think the embalming fluid has gone to your head, my friend.

This is getting ridiculous. Give me the gun.

Absolutely not. I'll show you.

No, do you have any idea how many forms I have to fill out if I discharge my weapon? Absolutely not.

Look, this is how accidents happen.

Look.

[J'J'J"]

Amazing.

[GROANING]

No blood.

Amazing.

Incredible.

See? I mean, still...

That's incredible. I mean, just...

[THUDS]

Ah! Stop that. I'm sorry.

That was below the belt. I'm sorry.

That's what I mean.

[J'J'J"]

Can one of you explain this latest failure?

Why you couldn't retrieve one small boy?

Sir,

this might sound crazy,

but I emptied a whole clip into that Chinese cop and he still wouldn't die.

What Chinese cop?

That's Eddie Yang.

He's supposed to have died yesterday, drowned in that container.

Then it's true.

WATSON: Professor. Doctor. Doctor.

Thank you for being here.

We've come across something very interesting.

Have you ever seen this before?

Doesn't ring any bells for me.

I've seen that before. Doctor?

The fish is the sign of life. WOMAN: That's interesting.

And the snake is the sign of-- Whoa.

The medallion

You're gonna love this.

Now, it should have a serpent on one side...

and a fish on the other.

Ho-ho.

If what you're holding is real, that is the Holy Grail of Eastern mythology.

And maybe the secret to eternal life.

Sweet!

So where'd you get the medallion? MAN: I recognize the fish.

You got it from a kid, didn't you? Yes.

The legend says every thousand years,

a child is chosen that can bind the two halves of the medallion together

and restore life to the dead. You get that kid and the medallion

you're a god. MAN: Oh, that's nonsense.

So where's the other half? WOMAN: Wait, wait!

Guys, the ancient texts say that if you want superhuman strength and immortality,

you gotta have both halves of the medallion.

The only documented case of a genuine resurrection...

Blah, blah, blah. You can't weigh it, measure it, smoke it

Look, ancient texts aren't fairy tales.

Thank you, professor. Doctor. Doctor.

Cheerio, for now. Good luck.

Why would a young boy have something like this?

This Snakehead chap, is he after the medallion or the boy?

By the way, take good care of that kid.

The medallion can not only give life, it can take it away.

WATSON: Okay, here's what I'm thinking. I'll cover the front door, call in for backup.

You head around the rear and get up to Nicole's apartment as fast as you can. Got it?

Got it.

[CAR ALARM SOUNDS]

Sorry.

[BEEPS]

[J'J'J"]

You know, for a little person, you sure do eat a lot.

Still going?

What did you have?

Okay.

Here we go.

Try that.

That good?

Mmm. You don't like-- You're not...

One of my culinary skills,

other than peeling fruit, of course,

just so happens to be a toasted

peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Which, I might add, Eddie could eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Then again, I suppose he didn't really have any choice.

Why?

Because I can't really cook anything else.

[J'J'J"]

I just can't believe that he's really gone.

He's not gone.

Jai...

do you not understand that Eddie's not coming back?

I brought him back.

Okay, um...

Jai, Eddie's--

[TOASTER DINGS]

He--

Just hold on.

[KNOCKING]

See?

Oh, my God.

Eddie?

Eddie.

Jai!

NICOLE: No!

Eddie!

[GRUNTS]

[CAR ALARMS SOUNDING]

[GRUNTS]

[CAR ALARMS STOP]

[J'J'J"]

You see? I told you he wasn't dead.

[JOINTS CRACKING]

[J'J'J"]

The boy, sir. Yes.

Welcome, my old friend.

So a quick, painless death

followed by resurrection,

immortality,

and powers beyond your dreams.

Are you sure?

His order is ruled by reverence for life.

My death before him must be reversed.

And if it isn't, kill him.

And then who would bring you back, Chosen One?

Pitiful mortal.

So I have no further use for you, Chosen One.

You're not immortal.

What?

To become immortal, you need both halves of the medallion.

Where's the other half?

Tell me!

[ECHOES]

EDDIE: Nicole. NICOLE: Eddie.

EDDIE: It's me. I'm fine, really.

I just...

I just still don't understand, Eddie, because I was there,

and I saw you, and-- Nicole, it's me.

But, you see, it's just that I was at the container and, Eddie, you were dead.

I mean, you were-- You were dead.

Nicole, the boy uses the medallion to give life.

That's why Snakehead took him.

With the boy and the medallion, he could...?

He could become like you?

Yes, but he needs the whole medallion,

and he only has half.

Look...

Um, this is a touching reunion.

We're all glad that Eddie's amongst the living,

but we still haven't found Snakehead's helicopter.

Nicole, could you get online? Find me anything that was in the air in the last hour.

I don't care if it was a bird, a plane or bloody Superman.

No offense, old chap.

Eddie.

If he needs the other half, he's gonna come looking for you.

If he is looking for me,

he'll be looking for my partner.

Me?

My family.

My family.

Cool.

See, that's not normal. I mean, that's not natural. What--?

Eddie, take my bike!

[J'J'J"]

[VIDEO GAME BEEPING]

Thank God.

They're all right.

Charlotte?

Charlotte? I have something I have to tell you.

CHARLOTTE: Yes, dear?

WATSON: Eddie...

Watson! They're here!

Go!

[GUNSHOTS]

Go!

Charlotte, where are you going?

This is no time for cleaning.

Take your shield!

Watson!

Are you all right, love? Yes, I'm fine, dear.

Catch!

Here. I'll lead them away.

Your wife? Phew.

What the--?

There you are. Quick. Quick. That's a good boy.

Now, listen. Guns are very dangerous things, all right? Right.

How dare you shoot...

at my...

wife!

My Lord.

Huh? Whoa. Where'd he go?

SNAKEHEAD: We meet again,

Eddie Yang.

Where's the boy?

My guest is no concern of yours.

All that matters is that you have the other half of the medallion.

[CIRRUS' "BREAK THE MADNESS" PLAYING]

Don't run, Eddie!

You can't hide from me!

The medallion is mine!

You think it's a game?

Well, let's play!

[SCREAMS]

We're the same, you and I.

What a pity. What a waste.

You don't know what powers you have.

Destiny calls.

WATSON: He's sleeping. At least, I think that's what he's doing.

Watson, he doesn't even look like he's breathing.

The boy!

Oh, God, I wish you wouldn't do that.

Eddie, you're all right.

The boy's in danger.

WATSON: Yes.

He's gonna kill him. Right?!

MAN: Snakehead has taken the boy to Raven's Keep.

I told you everything I know.

I did.

We need to move fast.

WATSON: Of course I can fly this thing. I built it myself.

You just take the bike. I'll guide you from the air.

I'm driving.

[STEREO FUSE'S "SUPER HERO" PLAYING]

NICOLE: That's Raven's Keep.

It's five miles away.

Ahh. Ohh. Ahh.

You should wash your hands.

Come on.

[J'J'J"]

Nicole.

Be careful.

You too.

[KNOCKING]

What the hell are you doing here? Where's the boy?

MAN 1: Let's get out of here! MAN 2: Move, move!

You cowards!

[YELLING]

Watson. Watson!

Are you crazy?

Be careful.

[IN HIGH VOICE] Interpol. Freeze.

NICOLE [WHISPERS]: Jai, are you all right?

There she is! Get her!

WOMAN: Excuse me.

You looking for something?

WATSON: Interpol! Freeze!

Interpol! Freeze!

Interpol! Free--

Jai, thank God.

You're in danger.

It's over.

You're safe now.

I don't think so.

No, it's all right.

Run!

For your lives.

It's not nice to take things that don't belong to you.

Fetch.

[SCREAMING]

SNAKEHEAD: My brother,

don't be sentimental.

It's so unnecessary.

It's so human.

So normal.

You and I will live forever.

We are the lords of time.

We can take whatever we choose.

I mean, what difference can a single human life like hers make to us?

We are immortal.

Let me show you.

Eddie, use the medallion to end the life that it gave.

[SCREAMING]

[EDDIE YELLING]

[SCREAMING]

Can you?

It's your turn.

[J'J'J"]

What's that for?

That, Eddie Yang, is for not catching me.

And that, Eddie Yang, is for not catching me.

Interpol! Freeze!

[SIGHS]

Isn't that lovely?

Of course,

when he came back, he was naked.

I mean, completely starkers. Not a stitch.

I'm not complaining, mind you.

Listen, I have this cough.

I think it's quite serious. Honestly, I could snuff at any point.

I don't suppose you'd consider a quick rub on your medallion?

[COUGHS]

I really am. Hello?

It's very bad--

[COUGHS]

Very bad. You--

Please, the med-- One quick rub.

That's all. Oh, the medallion.

[CHOKING]

The medallion. Quick. Give me the medallion.

Give it.

All right.

It was only a tickle anyway.

Come with me.

Wait!

Nicole! Eddie!

You can't leave me here.

[AVRIL LAVIGNE'S "MOBILE" PLAYING]

goodbye!

[LAUGHS]

Okay, that wasn't scary at all.

He walked through a vortex to the next universe.

I'm going this way.

MAN 1: Quiet on the set, guys. Here we go. Are cameras ready?

MAN 2: Yeah, cameras ready.

MAN 1: Jackie, Claire. And action.

I'm sorry.

MAN 1: Can you overlap that line for me, Claire?

Eddie Yang. I knew there couldn't be two of you.

Are you gonna say action, or am I just...?

MAN 1: I did. All right, here we go.

And action.

Three months and not so much as a phone call?

Oh, my God. That made me so nervous. I slapped you so hard.

Oh, come on! Oh, my God! MAN 3: In the middle--!

I got slapped for nothing! I'm so sorry.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

I am so sorry. I'm so sorry. MAN 4: I can't believe it.

Oh, no! MAN 5: Claire.

Jackie, I'm so sorry. That rea-- That hurt me.

No. Yes.

You should continue filming! Oh, I didn't know!

Now I got another one! Oh, no!

That was really bad. MAN 1: Try it again.

Let's go.

Let's move.

MAN: Take one.

Eddie.

All those things that I said--

I was right there.

MAN: --seven, take three.

God bless, Eddie.

MAN: Action!

[CAR HORN HONKING]

MAN: Cut! Cut!

WOMAN: Cut.

MAN: Take one.

You-- Now, how--?

It's Giscard.

Really? What about Snakehead? Snakehead is not here yet.

Is he not here? Yeah.

What about Ken? Yeah. Ken is--

Pete? Pete?

Pete is just right beside me.

That's it. We're fine.

[BANGING ON DOOR]

Now, that's-- MAN: Somebody let Jackie in.

Here's the plan.

We have to--

Whoops.

I got it wrong.

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

It's this way.

Oh, sorry. It's the other way.

Oh, damn.

Oh, I missed.

Watson.

[PHONE RINGS]

MAN: Cut. Print. Phone.

WOMAN: A-camera. MAN: Action.

[PHONE RINGS]

Watson. So many things going on.

MAN: Marker. Come on.

MAN: Marker. One more.

Watson.

Sorry. What? It's-- No, you-- No.

Again. Sorry.

WOMAN: Marker!

[GUNSHOTS]

WOMAN: Cut. MAN: Cut!

I want ice cream.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

MAN 1: Cut!

MAN 2: Cut!

MAN 3: Slate X67, take one coming up.

MAN: A-marker. Like a woman.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

[MUFFLED] That's it. That's it. Okay.

It's just down there.

Down.

Then the bottom.

Sorry, Jackie. What's this? "The bottom."

MAN: Marker. GISCARD: Move!

[YELLS]

Wait, wait!

MAN: Whoo!

[SPEAKING IN CHINESE]

MAN: Oh, shit.

Nicole, the boy used the meda--

MAN: Very good. Cut. Cut.

The dog barking.

Yeah, I heard it.

Go. Go away.

MAN: And action.

Interpol! Freeze!

MAN: Cut.

[MEN LAUGHING]

WOMAN: A-camera.

In case of emergency,

the exits are here,

here,

and here.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

I slapped you. Again.

Sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, my God!

I meant it to be fake. You do on purpose.

I'm sorry. Are you doing on purpose?

MAN: All right. Try it again, Claire. A little bit harder.

Ah, it drives me crazy.

[J'J'J"]

SONGS