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1
00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:07,909
And now, back to VH1's
2
00:00:08,009 --> 00:00:09,544
Salute to Singers From the '90s.
3
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:13,650
Today's installment, ''Why they all needed
to turn every vowel into the letter 'A.'''
4
00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:17,719
lt used to bay
5
00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:20,656
That you loved may
6
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:25,563
But now it's nineteen-ninetay
7
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:27,294
And I have to set
8
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:31,234
you Fray
9
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:34,470
fray
10
00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:36,737
The letter A
The A, the A
11
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:41,078
The letter A
12
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:42,709
Thank yay!
13
00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:46,949
-Oh, no!
-Not again!
14
00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:48,750
We're about to do Jedi, aren't we?
15
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:50,585
Let's iust get through this.
16
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:27,809
lnform the commander
that Lord Vader's shuttle has arrived.
17
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:31,346
And also, we're missing a bunch
of snow shovels From the storeroom.
18
00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:32,646
Does anyone know anything about that?
19
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,384
-Uh... Snow shovels? No. Haven't seen any.
-No.
20
00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:37,016
-Haven't heard about it. No idea.
-No.
21
00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:58,640
Oh, my God, that was absolute hell!
22
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,143
l just... l don't understand why...
23
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,478
l mean, we're in a galaxy Far, Far away,
24
00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:05,646
and we still have to change in Atlanta.
25
00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:09,352
Hi, Darth. You got any bags,
or did you leave Mrs. Vader at home?
26
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,321
lt's you?
Are we already out of our own characters?
27
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,987
-What?
-How's the construction going?
28
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:15,323
Oh, Fantabulously.
29
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,491
Remember how last time
they skimmed along a trench
30
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,427
and then blew it up
by shooting through a hole?
31
00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,161
-Yeah.
-Well, now there's no trench.
32
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,664
Great. Is there a hole?
33
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:24,598
-Yes.
-What?
34
00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:26,801
-There is.
-Well, if l were you, l'd repair that hole
35
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:30,139
-before the Emperor arrives.
-The Emperor is coming here?
36
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,437
Yeah. He loves this place.
37
00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:33,874
l was there when he came up
with the idea For the Death Star.
38
00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:36,777
-Hey... Hey, Darth? Darth?
-Yeah? What?
39
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:41,182
That. That's what.
40
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:43,016
What? It's a circle.
41
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,452
lt's a good circle, l'll give you that.
42
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:47,389
-No. No, no. Space station.
-What?
43
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:48,788
-Yep.
- What?
44
00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:50,458
-Yep, it is.
-No way!
45
00:04:50,556 --> 00:04:52,058
lt is. It is, big time.
46
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,673
You sure this is
where we'll Find Captain Solo?
47
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:09,312
Yep, this is it. Corner of Tatooine Way
and Martin Luther King Boulevard.
48
00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:12,481
-Hi, Artoo! You wanna come play?
-Sure!
49
00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:14,748
Here lam on ratooine
50
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,353
Jumping Double Dutch like you never seen
51
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:19,687
l know my way around a rope
52
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:22,123
Help me, Obi-Wan
You're my only hope
53
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,463
-Yes?
-Hi, we have a message For Jabba the...
54
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,897
No, Mister Jabba no home.
55
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,231
Oh.
56
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:34,604
-Can we leave it with someone, because...
-No, no.
57
00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:37,738
Hey, look! Jabba's cat escaped!
58
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,707
l sure hope he doesn't blame the help!
59
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,780
Kitty! Kitty! Kitty, kitty, kitty! Kitty!
60
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:57,557
Oh, my God!
61
00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,327
Alec Baldwin?
62
00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:05,268
Wow. There are all kind of
manner of crazy monsters in here.
63
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,336
Yeah, and they added even more
For the special edition.
64
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,037
Hey, what are you guys doing here?
65
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,005
Artoo, play him the message.
66
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,414
Greetings, exalted one.
it's me, Luke Skywalker.
67
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:22,285
I seek an audience with Your Slimness
to bargain For Captain Solo's life.
68
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:26,756
As a token of my good will,
l present to you a gift, these two droids.
69
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,823
Wait a minute,
does he have the right to give us away?
70
00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:30,824
He iust stole us From his dead uncle.
71
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:45,906
...triple-dog-dare.
72
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,388
Kid's tongue stuck to a ass.
73
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:03,824
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty...
74
00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:38,825
Sorry!
75
00:07:39,091 --> 00:07:41,195
Sorry. Been building up For a while.
76
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,298
-Sorry.
77
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:44,998
l'm sorry.
78
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:47,068
l'm so sorry about this.
79
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:49,603
Sorry. There we are.
80
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:55,510
-l can't see!
-Just relax.
81
00:07:55,641 --> 00:08:00,182
You have hibernation sickness,
but your eyesight will return in time.
82
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:03,050
-Where am l?
-Jabba's palace.
83
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:04,518
Who are you?
84
00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:06,787
Someone who loves you.
85
00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:09,090
Whoa! You are smothering me,
and l need my space.
86
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,329
Wait a minute, who's that?
l know that laugh.
87
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,397
lt's the 7Up guy!
88
00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:21,036
-lt's not the 7Up guy.
-Yeah, it is.
89
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,707
Hey, say, ''Crisp and clean, no caffeine.''
90
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:31,245
-Han? What are you doing here?
-Chewie? Is that you?
91
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:34,216
Yeah, it's me.
l got caught eating out of Jabba's trash.
92
00:08:34,313 --> 00:08:35,382
Well, l guess the good news is
93
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:38,019
we're not being pushed
into a giant anus in the desert.
94
00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:39,787
-What's wrong with your eyes?
-l'm blind.
95
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:42,758
lt's part of the hibernation sickness.
That and these lesions,
96
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,360
and the Fatigue that l've been Feeling,
and the persistent cough.
97
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,400
You might, uh...
You might have two things.
98
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:06,046
How did he get in?
99
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:08,717
l let him in. What, was that not cool?
100
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,753
Nice to see you, Jabba.
101
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,762
Um... Leia, wow.
102
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:23,132
-l didn't get raped. Okay?
-Okay.
103
00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:24,799
-Okay?
-Okay!
104
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:30,872
l'm here to bargain For Han Solo
and the rest of my Friends.
105
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:32,338
What's your price?
106
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:33,807
Master Luke, be careful!
You're standing on...
107
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,308
Threepio, please.
Whatever you have to say
108
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:38,080
cannot possibly be as important
as this conversation.
109
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,515
But you're standing on a trap door,
and if Jabba pushes the button...
110
00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:42,315
Threepio, what did l iust say?
111
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:43,885
But there's a trap door
right under your Feet!
112
00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:46,253
There's a huge monster down there,
and if Jabba hits the button,
113
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:47,421
the trap door's gonna open,
114
00:09:47,521 --> 00:09:49,090
you're gonna fall down
into the dungeon below
115
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:52,327
-and get eaten by the monster!
-Threepio, please! We're talking!
116
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,401
Oh, my God!
117
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,071
Rush Limbaugh!
118
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,373
Limbaugh Rule Number One,
119
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:09,144
no tax-dodging Jedis in my pit!
120
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:12,147
Religion is tax-exempt! Jedi is a religion!
121
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:37,506
Oh, Luke! Did you want me
to throw you your lightsaber?
122
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:39,840
Yeah, about 10 minutes ago!
123
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:43,980
Just so you know, the compartment
l keep your lightsaber in is my rectum.
124
00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:55,891
The mighty Jabba has decreed that
you are to be thrown into the Sarlacc pit.
125
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:59,227
There, you will discover a new meaning
of pain and suffering
126
00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:03,232
as you are slowly digested
over 1,000 years.
127
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,366
No sweat. l'm bringing a box of All-Bran.
128
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:07,301
l'll be sprayed all over the desert
in a week.
129
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:10,506
Right? Big lips on a stick knows
what l'm talking about.
130
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,238
Ha! Fiber!
131
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,515
Still alive!
132
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:30,258
-What's going on?
-We just got to the Sarlacc pit.
133
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:33,295
-What's that?
-lt's this disgusting, horrible creature
134
00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:36,030
that's worse than
anything you could ever imagine.
135
00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:41,501
Victims of the almighty Sarlacc!
136
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,371
His Excellency hopes
that you will die honorably.
137
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,009
But, should any of you wish
to beg for mercy,
138
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:49,845
the great Jabba the Hutt
will now listen to your pleas.
139
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:53,481
Please don't kill us!
We won't do it again, honest!
140
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:56,351
We'll be good, mister!
We was just fooling around, is all!
141
00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:59,821
Jabba! This is your last chance!
142
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:02,156
Free us or die!
143
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,730
Well?
144
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,699
We're waiting.
145
00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:41,087
No!
146
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,967
Han, look out!
Boba Fett is right behind you!
147
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,070
All right, when l give the signal,
we get him!
148
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,691
-What happened?
-He Fell.
149
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:19,026
-Huh?
-He Fell. Fell in the pit.
150
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,562
-Oh! Good.
-Yeah.
151
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:50,091
Wait a minute! What are you doing?
l thought you were blind!
152
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:51,357
l am!
153
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,458
lt's okay, though.
154
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,028
-Just hang on!
155
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:03,302
Gotcha !
156
00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:07,875
You want some laser hair removal,
while l'm at it?
157
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,110
-No, thanks.
-You sure?
158
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:12,046
Come on, we gotta get out of here!
159
00:15:53,185 --> 00:15:54,186
Hello?
160
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,456
Okay, so l'm going
to the Dagobah system...
161
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:59,995
-You gotta speak up.
-l'm going to the Dagobah system !
162
00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:01,327
l still can't hear you.
163
00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:05,168
-l said l'm going...
-lt's a machine! l got you!
164
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:09,537
You've reached Han Solo.
Please leave a message after the blorp.
165
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,541
Hey, we got any of those Chips Ahoy! left?
166
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,176
No, those are all gone.
167
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,767
Well, now nobody gets them.
168
00:17:01,286 --> 00:17:04,125
Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
169
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:14,902
Emperor! Great to see you!
170
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,270
Hey, this is Jeremy. He's from...
171
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,442
You know, he's from the program,
and he wants to meet you.
172
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:24,013
Well, hey, Jeremy!
How do you like the Death Star so far?
173
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,311
-Good.
-Awesome!
174
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:27,148
You gotta come back next year,
when it's done.
175
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:30,785
Oh...
Okay, we're gonna move on now.
176
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:33,121
lf you ever do that to me again,
l swear to God...
177
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,921
l know! l know! Nobody told me.
178
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:38,427
They kind of just dropped him on me
at the last minute. l couldn't say no, man.
179
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:39,993
So, l think you'll be happy.
180
00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:42,463
The Death Star's going to be completed
on schedule.
181
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:44,932
-Excellent.
-There is one thing, though,
182
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:47,835
and l'm sorry about this,
but your room's not ready till 4:00.
183
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,638
So feel free to use our business center,
184
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,039
or enioy the pool.
185
00:17:55,841 --> 00:17:57,678
Stop it. Knock it off.
186
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,479
Cut it out. Stop it!
187
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,318
l deserve to relax, too.
188
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:16,064
Master Yoda, l've come back
to complete the training.
189
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:18,131
Oh, you're done. There's no more training.
190
00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:19,899
Then l am a Jedi.
191
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,703
No, not yet.
First you have to confront Vader.
192
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:26,340
Master Yoda, is Darth Vader my father?
193
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:30,012
Yeah, it's either Darth Vader
or Paul Reiser,
194
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,547
but they don't want to know
which one is your real father,
195
00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:34,247
so they're gonna raise you together.
196
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:37,252
-Oh, my God!
-Yeah, and l got some more bad news.
197
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,853
l'm getting really old
and l'm not feeling so hot,
198
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:41,722
and l think l might die soon.
199
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,923
- Luke.
-Yeah?
200
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:49,264
Do not underestimate
the powers of the Emperor.
201
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,965
-Luke.
-Uh-huh.
202
00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:57,040
When gone am l,
the last of the Jedi will you be.
203
00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,739
-Luke.
-Right here.
204
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:03,144
The force runs strong in your family.
205
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:06,214
-Luke!
-Haven't gone anywhere.
206
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:08,949
Don't turn to the dark side.
207
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:11,251
-Luke.
-What's up?
208
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:14,155
You Fought Vader too soon.
209
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:17,024
-Luke!
-Four inches away.
210
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:20,962
There is another Skywalker.
211
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,163
Okay, see you.
212
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,201
Master Yoda, no!
213
00:19:35,707 --> 00:19:39,281
Hi, Hammacher Schlemmer?
l'd like the wall-size crossword puzzle.
214
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:43,619
Why, yes, l do have a credit card.
Name is Yoda...
215
00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:45,751
Parseghian?
216
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:54,129
l can't believe Master Yoda's dead.
217
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,498
Yoda will always be with you, Luke.
218
00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,802
A ghost!
219
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:06,475
Obi-Wan! Why didn't you tell me
Vader was my father?
220
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:09,177
Why didn't you tell me
you got a new hand?
221
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:11,611
Let's take that thing out for a test drive.
222
00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:13,947
But if Vader's my father,
223
00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:16,717
does that mean
l'm vulnerable to the dark side?
224
00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:20,589
Seriously, put your hand like you're gonna
pull a carrot out of the ground.
225
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:25,295
Obi-Wan, Yoda said
there's another Skywalker.
226
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,696
There is, Luke. You have a sister.
227
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:30,931
A sister? Who is it?
228
00:20:31,029 --> 00:20:32,432
Who the hell you think it is?
229
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:35,203
Who's the only goddamn woman
in the galaxy?
230
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,104
Leia !
231
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:38,804
Hey, just for giggles,
232
00:20:38,937 --> 00:20:42,944
you wanna poop in Yoda's tiny toilet,
pretend he took a giant poop?
233
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:54,787
Me first!
234
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:02,397
l'd like to thank you all for meeting me
here, in the lobby of the Mondrian.
235
00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:05,933
Hey, check it out, it's another chick!
The only other chick in the galaxy.
236
00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:07,600
l don't like her.
237
00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:12,007
The Emperor has made a critical error,
and the time for our attack has come.
238
00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:15,609
We've learned that the new Death Star
is not yet operational.
239
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,711
But, more importantly,
240
00:21:17,809 --> 00:21:21,183
that the Emperor himseIf
is overseeing this mission.
241
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,352
Hey, you know what l find hilarious?
Bothans.
242
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:27,221
Many Bothans died
to bring us this information.
243
00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:29,189
Ooh!
244
00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:31,558
Admiral Ackbar, if you will?
245
00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:32,824
lt's a trap!
246
00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:35,696
Just kidding.
We'll get there later.
247
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:39,033
So, let's pretty much
just attack like we did last time.
248
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:41,202
Sound good?
No need to fix what ain't broke, right?
249
00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:43,369
Yeah, we did this already.
That's what's so fucked up.
250
00:21:43,669 --> 00:21:45,873
General Solo will take
a stolen Imperial shuttle
251
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,810
and knock out the shield generator
on the fourth moon of Endor,
252
00:21:48,940 --> 00:21:50,943
while General Calrissian has volunteered
253
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:53,415
to lead the squadron
to destroy the Death Star.
254
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:56,082
-l didn't actually volunteer.
-Everybody clear?
255
00:21:56,249 --> 00:21:59,020
Am l the only one
with a gold star on their uniform?
256
00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:01,789
lt's just for record-keeping.
Okay! Let's go for it, people!
257
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:04,225
Hey, is there anything l can do to help?
258
00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:05,292
Luke!
259
00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:09,197
-What is it?
-Ask me again sometime.
260
00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:12,132
-What?
-l know something about you!
261
00:22:12,231 --> 00:22:13,399
-Tell me.
-No.
262
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:15,501
-Come on, Luke! Tell me!
-Nope!
263
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,037
Well, for God's sakes,
tell me something about somebody!
264
00:22:18,136 --> 00:22:21,209
Okay. Han runs an online
employment website on the side.
265
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,746
Economy got you down? Stressed out?
Worried about your future?
266
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,613
Sounds like you need a Han job.
267
00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:29,149
l'm Han Solo,
and l have jobs For everyone.
268
00:22:29,481 --> 00:22:32,787
Come by and apply for your Han job,
and l'll get you off and running.
269
00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:35,890
Other websites ierk you around
and don't finish what they start.
270
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:39,795
But with HANJOBS.ORG,
we'll have you shooting For the stars!
271
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:43,163
But keep it down, my neighbors
don't know what's going on in here.
272
00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:52,874
All right, now remember, Lando, don't get
a single scratch on the falcon, okay?
273
00:22:52,971 --> 00:22:55,876
Look, will you relax?
l already said l'll be careful.
274
00:22:55,974 --> 00:22:59,448
Well, iust make sure you are. That ship's
gotten me laid a bunch of times.
275
00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:10,058
Hey, hey, hey, girls!
Anyone want to make the Kessel Run?
276
00:23:10,155 --> 00:23:13,094
That'd be cool, but we only got 12 parsecs.
277
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:15,963
Hop in.
278
00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:18,865
Threepio, why are you wearing
a coat and tie?
279
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,968
Some people still treat flying
as an occasion.
280
00:23:27,005 --> 00:23:28,975
-What's the matter?
-Oh, nothing.
281
00:23:29,275 --> 00:23:31,579
l just got a funny feeling
l'm never gonna see her again.
282
00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:34,681
-Who, the falcon?
-No, Elizabeth Hurley. l just...
283
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:37,082
l just think she's done.
284
00:23:57,303 --> 00:23:59,640
- Hey! It's me! Can l come in?
-Shit.
285
00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:05,478
Hey, l iust wanted to let you...
286
00:24:05,577 --> 00:24:08,181
-Oh, boy. What's that?
-l was just ironing my robe,
287
00:24:08,847 --> 00:24:09,949
taking a look around. What's up?
288
00:24:10,148 --> 00:24:13,321
Well l iust wanted to let you know
there's a rebel fleet massing at Sullust,
289
00:24:13,419 --> 00:24:15,523
and l think
they're going to invade or something.
290
00:24:15,654 --> 00:24:17,691
You made sure there wasn't a hole
in the Death Star this time?
291
00:24:18,089 --> 00:24:19,625
Yeah, like l'm gonna do that twice!
292
00:24:20,058 --> 00:24:23,130
You... Shut up, mister!
Gosh almighty!
293
00:24:23,562 --> 00:24:25,666
But, you know, it might be something
to be concerned about.
294
00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:29,170
lt's of no concern!
The rebellion will soon be crushed,
295
00:24:29,267 --> 00:24:31,705
and young Skywalker will be one of us.
296
00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:34,341
We're still doing that initiation thing
we talked about, right?
297
00:24:34,506 --> 00:24:36,710
-Oh, yeah!
-Where you rub your wang on a fruit salad
298
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,043
-and we watch him eat it?
-You bet!
299
00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:41,082
-You ate the whole thing, remember?
- Yeah, most of it.
300
00:24:48,253 --> 00:24:49,356
All right, this is it.
301
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:53,362
Shuttle ryderium requesting
deactivation of the deflector shield.
302
00:24:53,758 --> 00:24:56,262
Shuttle ryderium, transmit
the clearance code for shield passage.
303
00:24:56,595 --> 00:24:57,763
Transmission commencing.
304
00:24:57,896 --> 00:25:00,401
Now we find out if that code
is worth the price we paid.
305
00:25:03,301 --> 00:25:04,704
Vader's on that ship.
306
00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,575
Don't get jittery, Luke.
There's a lot of command ships.
307
00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:09,108
Keep your distance, though, Chewie.
308
00:25:09,207 --> 00:25:11,177
But don't look
like you're trying to keep your distance.
309
00:25:11,276 --> 00:25:14,181
-How am l supposed to do that?
-l don't know, fly casual!
310
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,524
Does that casual-looking shuttle
have a code clearance?
311
00:25:23,788 --> 00:25:25,223
Well, it's an older code, sir.
312
00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:30,930
-But it checks out.
-Wait a minute.
313
00:25:31,062 --> 00:25:33,901
-Skywalker's on that ship.
-You can sense him?
314
00:25:33,999 --> 00:25:34,967
No, he's right there.
315
00:25:37,470 --> 00:25:38,538
They're not going for it, Chewie.
316
00:25:38,637 --> 00:25:40,707
Everybody, they're not going for it.
This is failing.
317
00:25:40,906 --> 00:25:43,043
Luke, take this gun.
You shoot me, l'll shoot you.
318
00:25:43,141 --> 00:25:45,679
Shuttle
Tyderium. the shield has been deactivated.
319
00:25:45,777 --> 00:25:46,879
You are cleared to approach.
320
00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:49,817
Well, there you go, gang!
False alarm !
321
00:25:50,649 --> 00:25:52,284
Oh.
322
00:25:52,385 --> 00:25:53,487
False alarm?
323
00:25:56,021 --> 00:25:57,156
All right, somebody? Anybody?
324
00:25:57,255 --> 00:25:59,426
Do not let me leave here
without maple syrup.
325
00:26:11,803 --> 00:26:14,475
-How are we gonna get past?
-All right, there's only a few of them.
326
00:26:14,574 --> 00:26:16,678
Chewie and l'll take care of those guys,
you stay here.
327
00:26:17,108 --> 00:26:18,109
Oh! Ladybug.
328
00:26:39,864 --> 00:26:41,299
Oh! l love this song!
329
00:26:41,399 --> 00:26:42,367
Hey!
330
00:26:47,473 --> 00:26:49,042
Over there! Two more of them !
331
00:26:49,207 --> 00:26:51,044
l see them. Wait! Leia!
332
00:26:56,314 --> 00:26:57,617
My bike!
333
00:26:57,716 --> 00:26:59,619
Where's my bike?
334
00:27:12,197 --> 00:27:14,267
Move closer! Get alongside that one!
335
00:27:27,379 --> 00:27:30,084
Oh! Can you play the theme from E.T.,
John Williams?
336
00:27:30,415 --> 00:27:32,787
No, but l can do the theme
to Entertainment Tonight.
337
00:27:47,265 --> 00:27:48,801
Celebrating birthdays today,
338
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:50,970
lG-88 turns 27,
339
00:27:51,236 --> 00:27:53,106
Lando Calrissian is 42,
340
00:27:53,204 --> 00:27:55,809
and ''l Don't Like You, Either'' Guy is 63.
341
00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:10,023
Keep on that one! l'll take these two!
342
00:28:33,679 --> 00:28:35,883
Destroy the planet Alderaan.
343
00:28:58,803 --> 00:29:00,606
You know, l think l've finally done it.
344
00:29:00,706 --> 00:29:03,945
l think l've gotten over the loss
of my home planet, Alderaan.
345
00:29:04,275 --> 00:29:05,845
l've finally moved on.
346
00:29:37,909 --> 00:29:39,044
Ow! Oh! My side!
347
00:29:49,854 --> 00:29:51,089
General Solo, somebody's coming!
348
00:29:55,293 --> 00:29:57,630
Luke, there you are!
Where's Leia? Have you seen her?
349
00:29:57,730 --> 00:29:58,798
She didn't come back?
350
00:29:59,030 --> 00:30:02,136
She probably decided to make
like one of these trees and leave.
351
00:30:03,401 --> 00:30:05,873
Where did you get that?
352
00:30:05,970 --> 00:30:08,307
l don't know. l stepped on it earlier.
It was just here in the woods.
353
00:30:08,406 --> 00:30:09,876
Been having a lot of fun with it.
354
00:30:10,743 --> 00:30:11,744
That's funny,
355
00:30:11,843 --> 00:30:14,848
because my friend lost his horn
on the forest moon of Endor last year.
356
00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:15,947
lt's not his.
357
00:30:25,290 --> 00:30:27,060
-Hey, cut it out.
-Do not move!
358
00:30:27,158 --> 00:30:30,030
Or l will stab you
with my very sharp spear.
359
00:30:30,128 --> 00:30:32,298
Look, put that down.
l'm not going to hurt you.
360
00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:35,269
You are my enemy,
and l want you off my planet.
361
00:30:35,366 --> 00:30:38,305
-Want a piece of cracker?
-l will do anything you say!
362
00:30:41,039 --> 00:30:44,245
By the way, l think
you're about to start your period.
363
00:30:44,710 --> 00:30:46,479
That's how l Found you.
364
00:30:57,455 --> 00:30:58,657
Hey, hi. Me again.
365
00:30:58,757 --> 00:31:01,628
Hey, good news.
The Death Star T-shirts finally arrived.
366
00:31:01,893 --> 00:31:02,861
Oh! Sweet!
367
00:31:04,864 --> 00:31:06,166
Oh, come on.
368
00:31:06,965 --> 00:31:08,000
''Death Stab''?
369
00:31:08,299 --> 00:31:09,567
Oh, for God's sake, Christie.
370
00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:10,904
Why don't you fire that girl?
371
00:31:11,135 --> 00:31:13,639
She's actually, believe it or not,
better than the last one.
372
00:31:13,772 --> 00:31:15,674
l thought l told you
to wait on the command ship.
373
00:31:15,907 --> 00:31:19,848
Yes, well, the thing is, a small rebel force
has landed on the forest moon,
374
00:31:19,944 --> 00:31:21,246
and my son is with them.
375
00:31:21,346 --> 00:31:22,982
-Kurt?
-No, Luke.
376
00:31:23,081 --> 00:31:24,183
l thought Kurt was your son.
377
00:31:24,482 --> 00:31:28,122
No, no, Kurt was just a guy
l was hanging around with for a while.
378
00:31:28,253 --> 00:31:30,590
-That wasn't my son.
-What do you mean?
379
00:31:30,688 --> 00:31:33,360
l mean, he was younger,
but he wasn't that much younger.
380
00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:35,628
No, what do you mean,
''hanging around with''?
381
00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:37,564
Oh, it's not... Just a dude, you know?
382
00:31:37,662 --> 00:31:39,767
Just some guy to, like, play ball with,
383
00:31:39,865 --> 00:31:43,471
and go to the movies, crash into real hard
in the hallway.
384
00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:46,573
You know, iust guy stuff.
You know, just a bro, you know?
385
00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:50,278
Someone you can read
the Sunday paper or share an orange with.
386
00:31:50,608 --> 00:31:52,913
Honestly, Darth, l have no fucking idea
what you're talking about.
387
00:31:53,111 --> 00:31:55,348
Well, l don't know
what you want me to...
388
00:31:55,446 --> 00:31:57,716
Look, just go down to the moon
and wait for your son.
389
00:31:58,483 --> 00:32:00,553
l have foreseen
that his compassion for you
390
00:32:00,652 --> 00:32:02,857
-will be his undoing.
-Got it. On my way.
391
00:32:02,954 --> 00:32:04,456
-No more of this Kurt shit.
-Yeah.
392
00:32:07,558 --> 00:32:09,963
Leia! Leia!
393
00:32:13,398 --> 00:32:14,901
Han, come over here.
394
00:32:15,466 --> 00:32:16,434
l Found this.
395
00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:18,403
l suck.
396
00:32:18,670 --> 00:32:21,709
Hey, maybe we get out of the woods
before nightfall,
397
00:32:21,807 --> 00:32:23,643
on account of the ghosts and all.
398
00:32:23,909 --> 00:32:25,077
Hey, guys, look over there!
399
00:32:25,710 --> 00:32:27,246
lt's a hot girl from florida.
400
00:32:28,212 --> 00:32:30,917
No, Chewie, don't! If you talk to her,
you have to talk to her mom!
401
00:32:31,015 --> 00:32:32,852
l see you've met my daughter.
402
00:32:33,017 --> 00:32:36,456
You know, we were iust mistaken
for sisters over at the bar.
403
00:32:36,654 --> 00:32:38,591
Chewie, get away from...
404
00:32:41,927 --> 00:32:43,229
How are we going to get out of here?
405
00:32:43,428 --> 00:32:45,465
Wait a second, guys. l got an idea.
406
00:32:45,831 --> 00:32:49,537
Remember that laser l used
to break Leia out of Jabba's handcuffs?
407
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:52,172
Well, here comes a little tiny saw!
408
00:33:02,413 --> 00:33:05,152
Whoa! What the hell are these? Hamsters?
409
00:33:05,516 --> 00:33:07,553
Oh, my God, they're adorable!
410
00:33:10,488 --> 00:33:13,594
Gold Guy. Gold Guy. Gold Guy.
411
00:33:13,691 --> 00:33:16,463
Gold Guy. Gold Guy. Gold Guy.
412
00:33:16,761 --> 00:33:19,066
-What are they doing?
-l'm not sure.
413
00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:21,667
They seem to think l'm some sort of god.
414
00:33:21,967 --> 00:33:23,536
And they seem to think l'm Sum 41.
415
00:33:23,869 --> 00:33:26,473
All the small things...
416
00:33:26,571 --> 00:33:27,673
That's Blink-182.
417
00:33:28,106 --> 00:33:30,410
Sum 41 is the band
that married Avril Lavigne.
418
00:33:30,641 --> 00:33:32,344
Oh... Huh!
419
00:33:33,044 --> 00:33:36,083
Seems like everybody
would turn out a loser in that situation.
420
00:33:36,180 --> 00:33:37,181
Everybody did.
421
00:33:46,892 --> 00:33:48,494
Threepio, tell them to let us go.
422
00:33:48,793 --> 00:33:49,996
What the hell am l supposed to say?
423
00:33:50,328 --> 00:33:54,970
Tell them if they don't let us go,
you'll become angry and use your magic.
424
00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:56,401
Yeah, l'll get right on that.
425
00:34:01,105 --> 00:34:02,106
lt's not working!
426
00:34:06,744 --> 00:34:07,947
ls this your card?
427
00:34:14,285 --> 00:34:16,155
-Luke! Han!
-Leia!
428
00:34:16,788 --> 00:34:18,224
Who braided your hair?
429
00:34:18,322 --> 00:34:21,327
-Did the Ewoks braid your hair?
-Yeah.
430
00:34:21,426 --> 00:34:24,765
So, they use spears with wooden shafts
and stone-carved tips,
431
00:34:24,862 --> 00:34:27,867
yet they clearly understand
the Finer points of cosmetology?
432
00:34:27,966 --> 00:34:30,270
l know, it's not as good as Empire.
433
00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:39,778
...born and raised...
434
00:34:41,479 --> 00:34:42,447
...most of my days...
435
00:34:43,648 --> 00:34:45,151
.. 'maxing, relaxing all cool...
436
00:34:46,051 --> 00:34:47,019
...b-ball...
437
00:34:50,188 --> 00:34:51,290
...no good...
438
00:34:51,990 --> 00:34:53,625
...trouble...neighborhood...
439
00:34:54,358 --> 00:34:55,326
...One little fight...
440
00:34:56,127 --> 00:34:57,162
...scared...
441
00:34:58,129 --> 00:34:59,464
...auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
442
00:35:03,134 --> 00:35:04,836
...DJ Jazzy Jeff homeless.
443
00:35:08,606 --> 00:35:10,276
Luke, are you okay?
444
00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:14,048
Leia, l've got something kind of messed up
to tell you.
445
00:35:15,146 --> 00:35:16,381
You're my sister.
446
00:35:17,748 --> 00:35:18,950
l know.
447
00:35:19,051 --> 00:35:21,789
-Somehow, l've always known.
-You have?
448
00:35:22,353 --> 00:35:24,457
Did you know
when you kissed me on Hoth?
449
00:35:24,555 --> 00:35:26,592
-Yeah.
-Well, that's pretty weird!
450
00:35:26,691 --> 00:35:29,730
l'm from Alderaan.
It's kind of the Mississippi of the galaxy.
451
00:35:30,062 --> 00:35:33,668
Speaking of which,
Iadies and gentlemen, Mr. Darth Twitty.
452
00:35:43,674 --> 00:35:46,012
He put his arms around her shoulder
453
00:35:46,111 --> 00:35:48,448
And with a voice that sounded older
454
00:35:48,546 --> 00:35:52,153
He said
''Mom, I got something on my mind''
455
00:36:00,625 --> 00:36:02,362
Imperial shuttle
requesting permission
456
00:36:02,460 --> 00:36:04,463
to land like a dainty butter fly.
457
00:36:04,562 --> 00:36:06,065
Permission granted.
458
00:36:10,568 --> 00:36:12,672
Mice. That was nice.
459
00:36:24,382 --> 00:36:28,056
-Hey, Son.
-Hey, Dad. Haven't seen you in a while.
460
00:36:28,252 --> 00:36:30,589
Yeah, l know. Sorry about that.
461
00:36:30,955 --> 00:36:33,126
But l got you a new baseball.
462
00:36:33,224 --> 00:36:35,494
Good. Our first catch of the day.
463
00:36:35,593 --> 00:36:37,096
Hey, go wait in the AT-AT.
464
00:36:38,296 --> 00:36:41,802
Now listen, since your mom's out of town
and l have you for the weekend,
465
00:36:41,899 --> 00:36:43,369
l thought it would be fun
466
00:36:43,467 --> 00:36:46,472
if the Emperor and l turned you over
to the dark side of the force.
467
00:36:46,671 --> 00:36:49,510
Daddy, if l may,
l'd like to throw out another option.
468
00:36:49,974 --> 00:36:51,844
l sense the good in you.
469
00:36:51,943 --> 00:36:53,880
Hang out with me
on the lighter side of the Force.
470
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:10,728
That's something.
471
00:37:10,828 --> 00:37:12,731
All right, so what do you say?
You want to go see the Emperor?
472
00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:15,067
l don't know. Can we have tacos?
473
00:37:15,266 --> 00:37:17,503
No, Friday is taco night.
474
00:37:17,768 --> 00:37:19,404
Oh, darn.
475
00:37:19,637 --> 00:37:21,841
-But today is friday!
-Yep!
476
00:37:23,307 --> 00:37:25,678
Gotcha! Oh, my God,
we're going to have so much Fun.
477
00:37:44,695 --> 00:37:46,832
All right. Stand by to iump to lightspeed.
478
00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:49,303
When we arrive at Endor,
we will destroy the Death Star
479
00:37:49,433 --> 00:37:51,904
and then begin setting up
the Ewok reassignment camps.
480
00:37:52,271 --> 00:37:54,107
l hate that stupid fish man.
481
00:37:54,206 --> 00:37:58,247
l say when we're done with this, we go
over there and fry him up in a skillet.
482
00:38:10,855 --> 00:38:13,627
All right, here goes nothing.
l'm going to sneak up on that guy.
483
00:38:18,029 --> 00:38:19,399
-Hey!
-Gotcha !
484
00:38:19,697 --> 00:38:21,567
Okay, you got me.
485
00:38:21,866 --> 00:38:23,001
Hey, wait, you got something there.
486
00:38:23,768 --> 00:38:25,972
Oh, my God! l can't believe l fell for that.
487
00:38:26,070 --> 00:38:28,909
l know. Now, excuse me,
l have to make out with my girIfriend.
488
00:38:29,507 --> 00:38:31,510
Oh! Sorry! l'll leave you two alone.
489
00:38:31,609 --> 00:38:35,249
-Nah, it's just me by myseIf!
- Oh, my God! That's so cool!
490
00:38:35,613 --> 00:38:37,650
Hey, take your helmet off.
l'll do ''got your nose.''
491
00:38:38,015 --> 00:38:40,653
We're not supposed to take these off,
but l really want to see that.
492
00:38:41,886 --> 00:38:43,856
What the hell? Your head is so small!
493
00:38:44,021 --> 00:38:47,194
Yeah, that's why we wear these big
helmets. It's a lot more intimidating.
494
00:38:47,292 --> 00:38:49,429
l'll be honest with you.
l don't like people who are different.
495
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:19,493
Hey, hey! Look who l brought!
496
00:39:20,157 --> 00:39:22,629
-Welcome, young Skywalker.
-Thank you.
497
00:39:22,727 --> 00:39:23,962
-Not you!
-l'm so embarrassed.
498
00:39:24,296 --> 00:39:26,533
l thought you should know,
young Skywalker,
499
00:39:26,630 --> 00:39:28,767
that your friends are walking into a trap.
500
00:39:29,166 --> 00:39:32,673
Wow. You're white?
You totally sounded black on the phone.
501
00:39:32,870 --> 00:39:35,842
Silence! You will turn to the dark side,
502
00:39:35,940 --> 00:39:39,647
and your precious rebellion
will be destroyed.
503
00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:41,280
Oh!
504
00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:47,492
l'm afraid the shield
generator will be quite operational
505
00:39:47,585 --> 00:39:50,122
when your friends arrive.
506
00:39:50,488 --> 00:39:52,758
Jeez, you don't have to be a dick about it.
507
00:39:55,459 --> 00:39:56,527
All right, everybody, hands in the air!
508
00:39:57,461 --> 00:40:00,199
All right. Now l want you to take off
your helmets, go outside
509
00:40:00,332 --> 00:40:01,600
and dig your own graves with them.
510
00:40:01,832 --> 00:40:03,302
Han, that's kind of dark.
511
00:40:03,402 --> 00:40:06,173
Shut up! There's enough cutesy crap
in this movie. l think we all need this.
512
00:40:06,304 --> 00:40:07,305
Now get outside!
513
00:40:09,307 --> 00:40:11,043
-l have a Family!
-Faster!
514
00:40:12,143 --> 00:40:13,546
l just do data entry!
515
00:40:13,811 --> 00:40:15,281
-All right. You, kill him.
-What?
516
00:40:15,380 --> 00:40:17,617
Kill him.
Take this knife and stab him in the mouth.
517
00:40:17,715 --> 00:40:18,683
No, please!
518
00:40:18,783 --> 00:40:21,555
Shut up! And after he's dead,
cut off his face and wear it as your face.
519
00:40:21,652 --> 00:40:23,756
-Please!
-l've had it up to here with Ewoks.
520
00:40:23,854 --> 00:40:25,557
Now, stab him and wear his face!
521
00:40:25,656 --> 00:40:27,993
And then go home to his family
still wearing his face,
522
00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:30,997
and see how long it takes them
to figure out that it's you and not him.
523
00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:32,298
Hold it right there!
524
00:40:32,930 --> 00:40:34,433
You rebel scum.
525
00:40:35,032 --> 00:40:37,937
Wow. What a voice!
Do you mind reading this For me?
526
00:40:38,636 --> 00:40:41,842
''Paging Mr. Herman,
Mr. Pee-wee Herman.''
527
00:40:42,039 --> 00:40:44,511
l Found my bike!
528
00:40:58,022 --> 00:41:00,159
What do you mean,
we can't get any reading on the shield?
529
00:41:00,425 --> 00:41:02,762
Man, only thing l'm reading
is Cat in the Hat.
530
00:41:03,194 --> 00:41:05,365
Damn cat! That hat looks ridiculous!
531
00:41:09,468 --> 00:41:11,839
Admiral, we've got enemy ships
in sector 47.
532
00:41:12,102 --> 00:41:13,705
lt's a trap! It's a trap!
533
00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:15,306
Also, whose cat?
534
00:41:16,941 --> 00:41:18,377
Someone get your cat.
535
00:41:23,814 --> 00:41:24,782
Fighters coming in!
536
00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:36,531
Lando to Enterprisel Draw their fire
away from the cruisers!
537
00:41:36,694 --> 00:41:39,198
We're having tea, thank you very much.
538
00:41:39,296 --> 00:41:40,832
Yes, tea.
539
00:41:55,145 --> 00:41:58,217
Listen, you guys,
this is all a crazy misunderstanding.
540
00:42:00,351 --> 00:42:01,887
You think this is gonna work?
541
00:42:01,986 --> 00:42:04,958
Oh, yeah. Those Ewoks had all of
five minutes to get things prepared.
542
00:42:05,055 --> 00:42:06,425
l'm sure it's all gonna work out fine.
543
00:42:21,605 --> 00:42:23,809
This armor's useless!
Why do we even wear it?
544
00:43:15,059 --> 00:43:17,396
Look out!
Here comes a squadron of PIE Fighters!
545
00:43:40,985 --> 00:43:42,253
Look at that, huh?
546
00:43:42,554 --> 00:43:44,758
Look at the crappy job
your friends are doing.
547
00:43:45,055 --> 00:43:47,192
And here's something
that's gonna piss you off even more.
548
00:43:47,324 --> 00:43:48,359
Fire at will!
549
00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:51,998
Gee, Dr. Smith, this doesn't seem
like a very safe place to be.
550
00:43:53,731 --> 00:43:55,066
William !
551
00:43:55,399 --> 00:43:57,637
Okay, now fire at everybody else.
552
00:44:02,973 --> 00:44:05,578
Holy shit!
That blast came From the Death Star!
553
00:44:05,776 --> 00:44:08,080
-That thing's operational!
-What's that mean?
554
00:44:08,178 --> 00:44:11,017
-lt's fully functional!
-l still don't get it. l'm 5.
555
00:44:11,115 --> 00:44:12,618
Bang, bang, boom, boom !
556
00:44:12,716 --> 00:44:15,120
Bang, bang, boom, boom?
Damn, that thing's operational!
557
00:44:17,622 --> 00:44:21,028
Look at that! Blowing up rebel ships!
Bet that gets you going.
558
00:44:21,526 --> 00:44:22,527
You hate me now?
559
00:44:22,893 --> 00:44:26,032
Come on. Take that lightsaber
and try to strike me down,
560
00:44:26,130 --> 00:44:29,604
and your iourney toward the dark side
will be complete.
561
00:44:29,767 --> 00:44:32,138
l've seen a lot of ships get blown up.
It's no big deal.
562
00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:34,808
Yeah, l guess that wouldn't get
under my skin, either.
563
00:44:35,172 --> 00:44:37,042
Not the way Seth Green
gets under my skin.
564
00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:38,175
Huh?
565
00:44:38,275 --> 00:44:40,379
Yeah. Boy, that guy rubs me
the wrong way.
566
00:44:40,477 --> 00:44:42,782
l mean,
has he ever made anything successful?
567
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:46,419
Greg the Bunny, four Kings,
and that godawful puppet show.
568
00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:48,420
lt's on, like, channel 100 or something.
569
00:44:48,553 --> 00:44:52,727
Well, l think he's had some successes.
Buffy the Vampire Slayerwas popuIar.
570
00:44:52,823 --> 00:44:56,396
it was not popular. Entertainment Weekly
said it was popular, but it wasn't.
571
00:44:56,493 --> 00:44:58,798
-Hardly anybody ever watched that show.
-Yeah, l never caught it.
572
00:44:58,896 --> 00:45:00,799
Well, he's been in some big movies.
573
00:45:00,898 --> 00:45:03,870
The Austin Powers movies grossed,
like, a billion dollars.
574
00:45:03,967 --> 00:45:06,706
What, because of Seth Green?
Do you ever hear anyone say,
575
00:45:06,804 --> 00:45:09,408
''Hey, let's go see that new Austin Powers,
Seth Green's in it''?
576
00:45:09,641 --> 00:45:10,809
You're not getting to me, man.
577
00:45:10,908 --> 00:45:13,412
You're talking about an actor
who l happen to enjoy.
578
00:45:13,712 --> 00:45:15,682
Well, l certainly enioyed him in Entourage,
579
00:45:15,779 --> 00:45:17,616
'cause in that show,
he was playing himseIf,
580
00:45:17,716 --> 00:45:18,851
an asshole.
581
00:45:22,152 --> 00:45:25,626
Oh ! Sorry.
This is my joke lightsaber. It's cute, right?
582
00:45:25,724 --> 00:45:26,725
Okay, For real now.
583
00:45:53,183 --> 00:45:54,653
Mess around
584
00:45:56,153 --> 00:45:57,689
They doing the mess around
585
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:01,059
They doing the mess around
586
00:46:01,626 --> 00:46:03,562
Everybody doing the mess around
587
00:46:24,716 --> 00:46:27,721
Join us, Luke.
Turn to the back side of the force.
588
00:46:27,951 --> 00:46:30,055
-What?
-The dark side. Turn to the...
589
00:46:30,354 --> 00:46:32,124
To the...
590
00:46:32,222 --> 00:46:33,190
Long day.
591
00:46:33,423 --> 00:46:35,426
l will not fight you, father.
592
00:46:35,693 --> 00:46:37,930
Then you will meet your destiny.
593
00:46:42,866 --> 00:46:44,368
Oh, my God! Are you okay?
594
00:46:44,468 --> 00:46:46,739
Oh, my God!
l meant to hit you in the shoulder,
595
00:46:46,837 --> 00:46:48,105
and that whole thing iust fell!
596
00:46:48,539 --> 00:46:49,909
-Did you see that?
-What?
597
00:46:50,140 --> 00:46:52,344
-That whole thing just fell.
-How?
598
00:46:52,543 --> 00:46:55,448
l don't know. He was up there like,
''l can't do this,'' l threw the thing,
599
00:46:55,546 --> 00:46:58,351
and l just meant to hit him in the arm,
and then the whole thing fell.
600
00:46:58,582 --> 00:47:00,385
Well, that's good, right?
We want him hurt.
601
00:47:00,584 --> 00:47:01,687
Are you using your brain?
602
00:47:01,786 --> 00:47:04,157
We're lucky if we come out of this
without a lawsuit.
603
00:47:11,495 --> 00:47:12,630
Ow!
604
00:47:14,364 --> 00:47:15,332
Freeze!
605
00:47:15,465 --> 00:47:17,970
Okay, now you're in a laundromat,
and there's only one available machine,
606
00:47:18,068 --> 00:47:19,370
and you're fighting over it. Go!
607
00:47:19,903 --> 00:47:22,875
Oh, God!
It looks like all these machines are taken.
608
00:47:23,240 --> 00:47:26,312
Oh, drat!
And me with all my soiled underthings.
609
00:47:28,412 --> 00:47:31,518
lf anyone asks, l shot him. Got that?
You were crying in the corner.
610
00:47:37,054 --> 00:47:38,456
Holy crap. Stay back.
611
00:47:40,157 --> 00:47:43,363
Hey, bitches!
l just killed, like, 50 stormtroopers.
612
00:47:43,660 --> 00:47:46,032
-That thing is really cool!
-Damn right it is!
613
00:47:46,129 --> 00:47:47,264
See that squirrel over there?
614
00:47:47,364 --> 00:47:49,101
Hi, little squirrel.
615
00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:51,101
Ooh!
616
00:47:51,201 --> 00:47:53,071
Hey, why don't you blast open this door,
and then we can...
617
00:47:53,270 --> 00:47:56,509
Hey, a butterfly!
Look at those beautiful wings flapping.
618
00:47:56,607 --> 00:47:59,446
But here comes ka-slice!
619
00:48:01,511 --> 00:48:04,650
Hey, speedy little hummingbird.
You're so fast, aren't you?
620
00:48:04,816 --> 00:48:07,720
Oh, but are you as fast as this?
621
00:48:09,519 --> 00:48:12,725
Whoa! What do we have here?
A fully formed beehive!
622
00:48:13,090 --> 00:48:16,831
Must have taken months to build that guy.
Well, guess what?
623
00:48:21,365 --> 00:48:22,333
Oh, God!
624
00:48:24,735 --> 00:48:25,771
Oh, my God!
625
00:48:29,539 --> 00:48:30,707
Should we help him?
626
00:48:30,808 --> 00:48:31,776
Eh.
627
00:48:33,110 --> 00:48:34,212
l think...
628
00:48:34,344 --> 00:48:35,345
l think...
629
00:48:35,445 --> 00:48:36,413
l think...
630
00:48:39,049 --> 00:48:41,386
Give yourseIf to the dark side, Luke.
631
00:48:41,551 --> 00:48:42,854
l will not fight you.
632
00:48:43,553 --> 00:48:45,456
Well, all right. l guess that's no problem.
633
00:48:45,823 --> 00:48:48,294
l can always get Seth Green to fight me.
634
00:48:48,392 --> 00:48:49,828
He'll do anything for money.
635
00:48:50,060 --> 00:48:51,562
l mean, did you see SexDriye?
636
00:48:51,662 --> 00:48:53,399
Oh, of course you didn't.
You're a person.
637
00:48:54,933 --> 00:48:57,137
Of course, l guess it did
respectable foreign numbers.
638
00:48:57,267 --> 00:48:58,535
Asians really liked it.
639
00:49:01,004 --> 00:49:04,443
And you gotta hand it to Seth Green.
l mean, he works hard, you know?
640
00:49:04,641 --> 00:49:08,148
l mean, the work is much harder
when you know the project is no good.
641
00:49:08,245 --> 00:49:10,515
Still, all those small paychecks
must add up.
642
00:49:12,716 --> 00:49:15,923
l wonder if his fan base knows
how Jewish he really is.
643
00:49:40,845 --> 00:49:42,982
Hey, you got a good hand guy, right?
644
00:49:44,247 --> 00:49:46,284
Good. Good!
645
00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:49,088
Your hate has made you powerful.
646
00:49:49,353 --> 00:49:51,356
Now, fuIfill your destiny
647
00:49:51,555 --> 00:49:54,761
and take your father's place at my side.
648
00:49:55,292 --> 00:49:57,229
Can we at least put together
a press release
649
00:49:57,327 --> 00:50:01,034
that says l'm resigning of my own accord
to pursue other evil projects?
650
00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:03,936
l'll never ioin the dark side.
651
00:50:04,568 --> 00:50:06,305
You Failed, Your Highness.
652
00:50:06,403 --> 00:50:08,707
l'm a Jedi, like my father before me.
653
00:50:09,072 --> 00:50:11,242
All right, let's everybody
just calm the fuck down.
654
00:50:11,876 --> 00:50:12,911
Move! Run!
655
00:50:21,919 --> 00:50:24,823
The shield is down. Commence attack
on the Death Star's main reactor.
656
00:50:25,055 --> 00:50:27,960
The shield may be down,
but they've gone into glitter-ball mode.
657
00:50:34,531 --> 00:50:38,105
lf you will not be turned,
you will be destroyed.
658
00:50:38,301 --> 00:50:40,805
Oh, yeah? You and what lightning hands?
659
00:50:41,005 --> 00:50:41,973
Oh! Now you've done it.
660
00:50:48,512 --> 00:50:50,315
Yeah! l'm a bad guy!
661
00:50:50,881 --> 00:50:53,086
Yeah! Yeah! How about that, huh?
662
00:50:53,250 --> 00:50:54,719
Look at that! Look what l can do!
663
00:50:55,218 --> 00:50:56,653
Yeah! Out the butthole!
664
00:50:57,521 --> 00:50:58,856
father, please!
665
00:50:59,456 --> 00:51:02,461
''Please''! You know what?
You have nice manners.
666
00:51:02,592 --> 00:51:05,197
l'm so delighted that Aunt Beru
and Uncle Owen took the time
667
00:51:05,295 --> 00:51:06,730
to teach you nice manners.
668
00:51:07,097 --> 00:51:08,866
And just for that,
l'm going to help you out here.
669
00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:23,015
That's the power of ''please,'' kids.
670
00:51:47,004 --> 00:51:48,806
Luke, help me get this mask off.
671
00:51:49,172 --> 00:51:51,342
Let me look on you with my own eyes,
672
00:51:52,009 --> 00:51:53,177
Father to son.
673
00:52:01,184 --> 00:52:06,360
Ahhh! Oh, no! He's dead
because of what the Emperor did
674
00:52:06,823 --> 00:52:08,293
a while ago!
675
00:52:09,459 --> 00:52:11,229
l better take his body!
676
00:52:11,862 --> 00:52:12,964
Just 'cause.
677
00:52:28,311 --> 00:52:30,581
Okay, Wedge, take out the power station.
678
00:52:31,314 --> 00:52:35,155
Some like it hot
And some sweat when the heat is on
679
00:52:38,955 --> 00:52:41,193
Some feel the heat and decide...
680
00:52:42,859 --> 00:52:43,994
Thank you.
681
00:53:23,667 --> 00:53:27,408
Hey, Leia, you got a date for the We Just
Killed Thousands of People Dance tonight?
682
00:53:27,504 --> 00:53:30,376
-No.
-You do now. Pick you up at 7:00.
683
00:53:30,473 --> 00:53:31,875
And save Yub Nub for me.
684
00:53:33,009 --> 00:53:35,514
Come to think of it, you can shave
your yub nub for me, too!
685
00:53:36,947 --> 00:53:37,948
l'll see you at 7:00.
686
00:54:13,883 --> 00:54:15,853
What the hell, man? l was gonna make it!
687
00:54:16,220 --> 00:54:18,457
Thanks for watching over me
and keeping me safe.
688
00:54:18,822 --> 00:54:20,692
Fuck you! You murdered me, you ass.
689
00:54:29,366 --> 00:54:30,701
The end.
690
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:33,906
And that's the final chapter
in the Star Wars saga.
691
00:54:34,004 --> 00:54:35,240
What about the prequels?
692
00:54:35,338 --> 00:54:36,907
I think The Cleveland Show
is gonna do those.
693
00:54:37,275 --> 00:54:40,347
Dad, one question.
What do you got against Seth Green?
694
00:54:40,644 --> 00:54:43,048
l iust think he's a douche.
You got a problem with that?
695
00:54:43,346 --> 00:54:45,783
Well, we're all entitled to our own opinion.
696
00:54:45,882 --> 00:54:48,654
For example, me,
l think Seth Macfarlane is a douche.
697
00:54:48,952 --> 00:54:50,755
-What's that, now?
-Yeah, l don't like him, either.
698
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:51,921
Yeah, me neither.
699
00:54:52,055 --> 00:54:54,160
Wait a second.
l hear he's a pretty nice guy.
700
00:54:54,258 --> 00:54:56,261
Yeah, good-looking guy. Talented, young...
701
00:54:56,459 --> 00:54:58,763
Talented? He ripped off The Simpsons.
702
00:54:58,962 --> 00:55:01,200
Yeah, he watched TV in the '80s. We get it.
703
00:55:01,299 --> 00:55:03,469
And he only puts out, like,
ten new episode a year.
704
00:55:03,566 --> 00:55:06,271
And then he splits those up
into five DVD sets.
705
00:55:06,536 --> 00:55:08,172
He doesn't make those decisions, Chris.
706
00:55:08,272 --> 00:55:09,974
Those decisions are made
at the corporate level.
707
00:55:10,274 --> 00:55:12,911
But he still takes the money every week.
How noble.
708
00:55:13,076 --> 00:55:16,249
And doesn't he have a whole staff
that writes those episodes anyway?
709
00:55:16,346 --> 00:55:19,585
Well, l wouldn't know about that,
but l think, and l hope, Chris,
710
00:55:19,683 --> 00:55:22,522
that ultimately,
people will just remember the laughter.
55703
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